Hi,
What a day yesterday was. I had so many
bipolar emails, letters, phone calls all screaming
URGENT.
Sadly, I really see how mental health
places just collapse and so many
quit the field. It’s amazing how demanding
people can be.
I must say it’s starting to get overwhelming.
In addition to questions, I had a whole group of people
write me about this one said that
on my blog and someone said this
that and the other thing and they are
mad.
It’s so odd to me, but I think people
really just imagine that I have nothing
going on all day. That I am just
sitting around.
It’s amazing the kind of clear,
concise questions I get from
those who use my f.ree consultation
certificates.
When I get calls, f.ree consultations
certificates, etc. that ask:
What three questions can I ask
to qualify a doctor, that’s a great question.
How do I find a local support group
How do we deal with a doctor
that won’t talk to us
How do we find a great doctor?
These are GREAT specific questions.
When I get:
Help.
Do you know how many times I see
this a day? Know how many voicemails
I get that say, “help.” Keep in mind
these are almost from bipolar supporters.
I could see a person with bipolar
not being clear.
It amazes me. I just would
never say, “help?” I think in my head,
how in the world can I help them
if there is no specific question?
Or even worse than just help is someone
who tells me a really, really, really, really
long story and then really has no question
at all and just wants to vent.
The thing is, if I spend 45 minutes listening
to the story, I could have helped 4 to 7 people
with specific questions. See the problem?
Another thing that drives me crazy is someone
who hears a bipolar rumor and believes it.
The bipolar rumor is when one person
hears something about bipolar disorder
that is not based on truth about a rumor.
Here is how it generally goes.
I get an urgent, you need to talk to
so and so right away. It’s incredibly
urgent. URGENT. URGENT.
So I contact them.
Actually let me give you a real story.
I spoke with someone. This person started
yelling at me. She said:
You tell us to go to a good doctor and
that person will help get me on the
right medication, right?
I say, “Yep.”
Then this person said, “Well, I heard
that there is a cure for bipolar disorder
and I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.”
I heard this and I was like here we go
again.
So I find out this person heard, from
NOTE-You are going to think I am lying
but this is how it was.
heard from, a friend of a friend, of a friend
of a friend, of a friend of a friend, that his
friend had bipolar and now is cured.
NOTE there was so many friends involved
in the chain of information it was amazing.
The woman indicated that the person
took some kind of natural something or
another.
I said, “how do you know it’s true?”
Did you interview the person
Did you talk to their doctor/therapist?
Did you meet the person?
How long have they been “cured?”
Have you checked their finances?
Can they hold a steady job and be
in stable relationships?
Etc.
The person was like, “well, I don’t know
all that.”
I hear this all the time. It drives me
crazy.
Bipolar rumors are a huge problem.
The worst is when the rumor is spread
is the truth. In this case, this person took this bipolar
rumor and they tell someone they know about
someone they know who knows someone
they know who was cured of bipolar
disorder.
I once was volunteering and a BIPOLAR
SUPPORTER told me he heard that
people with bipolar disorder can lose
their arms from treatment.
I thought he was kidding. He said his friend
read it online and told him. He told me
his friend never lies that’s why he believed
him.
It’s crazy. Once people hear stuff,
they tell others.
Then they tell someone who tells
someone else who tells someone else…
Get the picture?
It reminds me of that commercial on TV
awhile back for some shampoo that
said (and showed), “And they’ll tell 2
people…and they’ll tell 2 people…and
they’ll tell 2 people…” and on and on
and on…
And all this telling people is all based
upon a RUMOR to begin with!!!
In my courses, I talk about how there
is no cure for bipolar disorder at this
time, but that doesn’t stop some
people from seeking out “alternative
therapies.” I even expose some of
these supposed “cures”:
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
It’s important to me for you to know
that there really is NOT a cure for
bipolar disorder at this time. That is a
sad fact, but at least there is treatment
for the disorder. It is NOT a death
sentence!
But for people to claim some
miraculous cure should be illegal!
In fact, it is unethical, if not illegal,
when some company tries to sell you
some product that claims to cure
bipolar disorder, you should KNOW
that it is bogus! It will never be able
to say that it is backed by the FDA,
and that is what you should look for.
When I read and see this is DRIVES
ME CRAZY. I get more mad than
I get about even the Britney stuff
I was writing about.
But these bipolar rumors are super dangerous! I know of
one woman who believed in this rumor.
She believed in it so much that she
stopped taking her medication, believing
that she was cured of bipolar disorder.
8 months later, she took a gun and
killed herself.
What was worse was that she not only
claimed this “cure” for herself, she told
MANY other people about it. They,
too, went off THEIR medication! And
they, too, went into bipolar episodes!
Luckily, they didn’t kill themselves,
because they had good supporters, and
they realized they really weren’t “cured,”
but just think about what could have
happened to them!
There really is NO CURE for bipolar
disorder at this time. And anyone
who claims that there is, is NOT telling
the truth – they are only spreading a
RUMOR. A potentially deadly RUMOR.
If you have found yourself in this
situation, I BEG YOU NOT TO
LISTEN TO THIS RUMOR! Please,
please, DO NOT GO OFF YOUR
MEDICATION, no matter what you
hear!
Thanks for listening. I really hope
you do listen.
I have to go, because I have a whole lot
of stuff to do today.
Catch you tomorrow. Oh, tomorrow is the bipolar
news.
Your friend,
Dave
P.P.S. Want your own copy of these daily bipolar
emails sent to you for F.ree? If so, visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/register3
P.P.S. Don’t forget to take a look through the
different programs I’ve put together… each one is designed
to help you with a different area of bipolar disorder whether
you have it or you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp
P.P.P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/
P.P.P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com
DAVE
Don’t get discouraged by others. Bound to happen more than not. You will inevitably get repeat questions from the public, anger from others due to shear frustration and the occasional belief that there may be a cure due to all of us being desperate. Generally it’s always a desperate situation. You know that, that is why you do what you do. Take a vacation kid, break away for a bit from all of this. Don’t feel like you have to do what you can not possibly do. There really is no need for you to get frustrated by the things you mentioned in this email/post. I suspect you have generated answers to all of them, including the general “help”. Use them. You have been patient with so many, continue that. If you need a break to do that, take the break! Okay? Oh, and have a cold on me while your at it.
David O., For your own well- being, please stick to your concrete & direct solutions to questions which have answers. Otherwise, the takers in life will diminish your energy and efforts beyond a point of no return.
Keep doing what you are doing from a proactive stance (not reactive).
And if you are tired or frustrated or angry or all three, do take a break (or two or three). You are doing invaluable work for others. Be certain to take care of YOU!
Hello David
I am from Toronto Canada and have been reading your articles and blogs for nearly two years now. I have bipolar disorder, also I was a bipolar supporter (of a now ex-boyfriend) for three years, so I can see both perspectives. In all I have seen and read, you are really genuinely trying to help people who either have bp or are bp supporters to understand more and more about this insidious disorder that can destroy lives if not managed properly. You are doing the best you can, you are a hard working and caring person, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. You have used the knowledge and experience with your mom to help others. This is no small thing. If some people don’t get it, please ignore them and concentrate your energy on those that do appreciate you and the amazing help you provide.
Keep doin’ what you’re doin’!!!!!
Cheers from Canada
I bet it felt good to vent the way you feel! Having bipolr disorder is so frustrating, you never know what your in for when you wake up in the morning and the fight each day to try to manage the mood swings and the temper flair up. BUT I do not feel hat people have the right to call or e mail you being rude in anyway. All you are trying to do is help us find the aswers to the questions we battel everyday. I just want to thank you for helping me along the way and for helping my fiance begin to understand what it is I am going though. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU
Dave,
With all the news you publish, people should take the time to read them. I believe your article on the ten lies cover a lot of issues the person spoke of.
I wonder how you do everytgibg you do. You definately have help my wife and I understand our sons illness and discuss it openly with him.
Outside of the plane fact that BiPolar cannot be cured, I’m very interested in wether these people can be trusted on a romantic level (or: outside of employment & intelligents).
Seems that this disease carries basically double personalities.
Basically – can I trust my husband for wanting ME, or is it just the particular personality that I am married to???
David, I feel bad that you get all this brought on you- at the same time I’m glad you are there for us supporters that feel like WE are the “crazy” ones. Reading your mail lets me know I’m not alone and this happens to others too. My daughter is going to be losing her “good” doctor soon (he has personal reasons)and I’m very afraid of what is going to happen AGAIN!!
Hi Dave,
You should take a couple days off. Why don’t you write a few daily blogs ahead of time and head for the beach or the mountains? We’ll all be ok. 🙂 I guess the people that think there’s a “cure” for bipolar are uneducated. You’re an easy target for folks who are at the end of their rope dealing with this disorder and need someone, or something to lash out at. We’re all looking for some sort of hope. Why else would I *still* be with my husband after 20 years of this? I always have some sort of hope that this will be the last episode, etc.
Well said, David.
I suppose some folk are so desperate for cures they want to believe anything that gives them hope. Gullible they may be but I can understand why even intelligent people will grasp at snake oils. But the people who really make my blood boil are those ########s who take advantage of peoples’ desperation to sell the snake oil! They are the lowest of the low.
If their were a cure, it would be on main stream tv news I’m sure! Dave, don’t take the irrational comments personally. Your work is appreciated by many. You do more than any Dr. or therapist we’ve seen to help us with the reality of BP. My son’s Dr. actually said he has never seen my son manic. So he believes he never has been. He is suppose to be trained in this field. Shouldn’t he know it is common that what they see in the office isn’t what is common the rest of the time. My son goes into his shell because he really doesn’t care for the appointments but he knows they are necessary. You actually know about BP first hand. Someone wrote they wouldn’t take your advice over their own Dr. I should hope not, I don’t think you ever suggested that. BP has so many variations and each person needs a specialized treatment plan. So long as the Dr. is actually listening to you and your true needs and helping.
It sure would be nice if there was a cure. The key is to be able to manage the illness not cure it.
Dave, Thank you, I am a bi-polar adult with 2 teenage sons with bi-polar and adhd on top of it. You letters are inspiring that their are people who understand bi-polar and what to do for our loved ones when they have episodes. You have given me information that I would never have thought of to deal with my own treatment and my boys treatment. First we arelooking for a good doctor, the one we have now you see once every three months for 10 minutes and your out. I know that is not any kind of treatment. We live in a rural community and have decided to move closer to a big city where there are doctors to chose from and not have to drive 60 miles to get there. Thank you again for your support. Diane
Dave : my mom has bipolar and i have been getting your mail for years. I love the way you are so willing to help others and the daily dose of humor you add to your emails and your positive attitude. My mom is doing great. I am having my own problems with my fiance and his addiction. I want to stay and help him but i also want what is best for our 3 year old son. I just want to let you know that reading your mail brings a smile to my face and it is good to know there are still people like you out there.
Don’t let people get you down you are doing great.
🙂
Are you out there, CATWOMAN?
Just wanted you to know I’m still thinking of you, and I know that a lot of others are as well.
There is always hope. Please hang in there.
Sending love and prayers your way,
Sue
My name is Dustyrose Powell,53 yrs old.
Could use this as follows:
1.Need a job, or some finatual help or where to get it.
2.Have no med. coverage,so no meds!
3.I am alone in this, no family close to me to help in any way.
4.No way to get any where at all!
5.I guess i should be thankful for a roof over my head, But it is hard when you hurt so much, Everthing looks so bleek.
dustyrose
I just wanted to let you that I really appreciate the time you must spend sending out your emails. I can’t believe people really think that Bi-polar can be cured when it is a struggle to keep them somewhat stable! These people must be in denial to believe this and do not realize how much damage they cause others, who would like to believe they are “cured”.
I have been dealing with Bi-polar disorder for about 25 years now, with no idea what it was until about 10 years ago when my daughter started puberty and she was wild! I started with counseling for her and then the counselor referred her to a psychiatrist. It’s been a roller coaster ride and today she has no medical insurance and very unstable. She’s been prescribed several different meds to find the ones that help her most. She can’t afford the med that works best as her psychiatrist doesn’t have any more samples and it cost about $800/month. I think the drug is Risperdol and combining it with Seroquel and Ativan she was really doing well. She was capable of keeping a good job and was pretty stable for about 3 months. But she was in Oregon and her Psychiatrist is in Idaho so she ran out of Risperdol and lost her job as soon as the effects of the med where out of her system. She then returned to Idaho because she was homeless again. Now we are pretty much back to where we started. She also as been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, which really complicates things. Right now my husband and my daughter are having “episodes”. I think they trigger each other. My daughter is in my home with me and my husband has decided he will live in our motor home while she is living here.
Anyways I came here today to let you know how much I appreciate your emails. I look for them the very first thing when I log onto the internet and devour each one, several times to be sure that I am not missing anything. I also wanted to say that it may take me a while to save the money to buy your courses but I really need all the information and I know it had to be very expensive for you to compile all this information, which is needed by anyone who has to deal with Bi-polar Disorder.
So please hang in there and do not the nay sayers get you down. What you are doing is very valuable to people like me and I just wanted to say THANK YOU!
I have a bipolar disorder and I have not heard these rumors myself but I would be willing to believe that it is possible that people that I have mentioned this disorder to have because they treated me like I was some kind of freak of nature so I am rather cautious who I trust with this information. I have a great doctor who takes excellent care of me and so far I have been stable for some time now, still working on keeping my finances under control, I take a list to the store with me so I only spend money on the items on my list, my family helps me with this also. My children who are teens understand bipolar better than some of the people you might have mentioned and I could not have a better support than them and my doctor.
Dear dave…
I read your emails every day and signed up for your course. I found your site via my wife and supporter who had left me prior to my being diagnosed bi-polar. We always knew something was wrong with me, but it was’nt until in a bi-polar rage i tried to kill her by strangleing her that she finally asked me to leave. I did, went straight to my GP, told him what I did, (very out of the ordinary for me to be physical, usually just anger and verbal BS), and he figured I was bi-polar, switched me from anti-depressants to anti-psycotics, and the whole world changed. The anti depressants were useless for me but the new catagory of drugs worked wonders. My wife started exploring bi-polar websites after I called her and told her the diagnoses, and she turned me on to you and your work. We are back together, working hard to beat this incurable, but I believe you, manageable disorder. We are happier than we ever were, and we have both benefited by your research and course. Please don’t let the ranters and ravers, the disbelievers and the abusive discourage you from this priceles work you do. Your emails are very helpful, they have helped reshape my world and better understand the last 43 years and given me hope for the first time in my life. Keep going and remember that the abuse you take is from people who either can’t help it, or are understandably frustrated by this terrible affliction, whether they have it, or are just forced to be around it. I wish I could shake your hand and thank you personally, but i live in canada and doubt that will happen. Thank you from my now happy heart, you deserve much more than the negetivity that seems to inundate your world. Keep up the great work. Sincerely, BDT
Oh yeah, out of curiosity, why do you always put a period in the word f.ree or d.ebt. I’ve always wondered….thx again
woops, meant to check the “send follow up emails to” box but forgot, I’ll do it now……..thx..BDT
I don’t mean to get political here but when I see comments like HelenM’s and others, of how the right drugs cannot be afforded, I wonder how it is the richest nation in the World cannot find a way to pay for sick people to have proper treatment! What’s freedom worth if you ain’t free to be healthy? What does it say about a nation, esp. a rich one, that allows sick people to go without treatment? It’s like that old joke about bankers – they lend you an umbrella when it’s sunny and take it back when it rains: You can have your illness treated while you have money, but when you don’t have any because you’re sick and can’t work, you can’t have treatment … There’s a hell of a lot wrong with Britain and there’s a hell of a lot wrong with out free National Health Service but at least I don’t have to worry about where the money is going to come from to pay for my medication.
I hope I didn’t offend anyone with that rant but it makes me angry to know there are sick people in the US who can’t afford meds! I’d expect it of some 3rd World country but not the to dog of the money pile!
BDT. The period (full stop) in f.ree and d.ebt is to fool the anti-spam software programs that try to catch all those spammers trying to sell stuff we don’t need, esp. credit products!
David,
You are a link between a cold diagnostic and the human beings that are suffering without a clear explanation of what is going on.The line of your work is very clear and doesn’t allow any mistake for the ones that are using it.I have been learning a lot with you, and I hope to continue learning.Don’t discorage and if possible takes some vacation. God bless you.Lilian P.
Dave,
Along with these bloggers today, I fully appreciate your extremely good work and unselfish offerngs! As a sideline supporter of my step-daughter, I took home the 10 Greatest Lies…. and begged my husband to at least read it so that he can be informed to make level headed decisions (as he keeps putting up barriers as to this or that won’t work). His daughter is going through another episode at the moment and again, I am the bad one (I think this is a very sad stigma for step mothers). Thanks to your emails and those positive thoughts posted by the other lovely bloggers who have the disorder, I am able to keep myself from negative knee jerk reactions and truly feel for this lovely young step daugter of mine. Thanks to my Lord also because I am able to pray for her (and her mother) and that keeps me calm as well as it is pointless to worry about what they say in these situations.
To all the supports, carers and parents with loved ones with bipolar, I take my hat off to you and remember what Dave said in an email a couple of days ago – do not give up!
God bless you all today!
Hopefully, one day there will be a cure for bipolar disorder. Maybe if famous people like Britney Spears are diagnosed with the condition it will generate some positive publicity to do more research about it.
Some of us supporters have our hands tied behind our backs, as to what we can and can’t do to help our loved ones. My boyfriend has gone into the biggest episode I have seen him in. We have known each other just under a year. When his flat was burned I could see it coming, but his doctor didn’t seem to notice the signs. As I’m not married or related to him and we don’t live together either, i have no rights at all to contact his doctor or therapist or “interfere” in any way, unless i was witness to an absolute emergency.
He has been fairly stable on the right medicine and his episodes were minor ones. An ex-girlfriend and neighbour of his has been causing a lot of trouble in his life and is still doing her utmost to get between us. He has been able to keep her at armslength until recently. She always takes full advantage when he is vulnerable. Luckily she has no more rights than I have.
Over the last few days he has been working non-stop, not sleeping at all and believing he can sort everything out himself. Today he told me that last night he went out with a male friend and got drunk. He doesn’t normally drink heavily and his only addiction is smoking. He said he can’t remember much of what happened last night. His ex said he had sex with her and he can’t remember it. I know the woman likes messing with his head to control him, so she may be lying. He was supposed to stay with me tonight, but never turned up, or even contacted me. I can only hope and pray that he comes out of this episode asap and doesn’t let her do any more damage.
I know there is know cure but just saying it that way is very upsetting – I have a bi-polar son who refuses to take medicine – he has tried many times and many different medicines. Am I to believe there is nothing that can make him better and live a happier life other than FDA approved medicine?
Dear Dave,
You do so much good for all us supporters and BP people. Do not
let a few discouraged people upset you. You are doing great work for us that NEED YOU! Back when my children’s father was living, they didn’t have medication like we do now or any education for this terrible dis-order. My son is bi-polar and I know that it ran in my former husband’s family. People today are so fortunate that more is being studied about bi-polar and that if your current med’s are not working, let your Dr. know, if you are a supporter, please let the Dr. know. A lot of time the patient doesn’t want to be helped and just lets the Dr. think he is doing fine. Dave, again your messages have helped me and my present husband to understand why my son does what he does and acts the way he does. Before it was had to understand. If people would just read what you write and not try to find a quick cure, then maybe you would not get these hate letters and calls. I know everyday life with BP is difficult, but read and educate yourself on how to help your loved one and with the grace of God that he will give you strength to continue.
Could someone tell me how to find the 10 greatest lies?
I have recently found out that my very young adult has bipolar. Although recetnly married do I order supporter kit or child kit.
TO Alsgirl,
If he is over 18, order the adult one. If he is under 18, under the child program.
Dave
Hi,
I have a new guide and you can get it for
FREE. It’s called:
“10 Greatest Lies about Bipolar Disorder”
Get your FREE copy over here:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/10greatestlies
Dave
Dave – THIS is NOT a rumor. Although my “limbs did not fall off,” I contracted neuropathy (nerve damage; no feelings) in both legs as a result of taking Lithium for over 20 years. There is NO cure for this disorder; I just have to live with it. But – as far as RUMORS go, the one that bipolar disorder can be CURED – THAT is hilarious (and dangerous, as you’ve stated). It’s true that we bipolar survivors will grab at ANY hope that we can be cured; but, alas, although all the labs and scientists are working night and day to discover a cure – there is NONE at the present time…
I was surprised to hear that you get sooo many complaints from SUPPORTERS rather than the survivors themselves. While it may be true that a lot of supporters are “driven crazy” by their bipolar loved ones, they shouldn’t use you as a sounding board with their problems. You advise them to buy your course, and they take advantage of your free consultation, only to nag and bother you with stupid, unanswerable questions. I still don’t see how you put up with these people; you must be a SAINT!!
I had a “surgical” procedure on 01/10/08, that involved a “denervation” to my sacroiliac nerve. I was sedated throughout, but the nurse would ask me, “Tell me when you feel a numbing/burning.” And I would tell her. Then she said, “Now, tell me when it’s unbearable.” This started to frighten me, but I again, would say, “NOW!” This happened four times, as they had to cauterize four nerves. Just for your information, the sacroiliac nerve is at the bottom of your spine. Mine has caused me chronic pain for more than 8 years, and I’ve been on narcotics for that long. I decided on this procedure because it promises to relieve the pain WITHOUT narcotic need – but only for about 6 months, and then I have to do it again! Fortunately, it’s covered by insurance. I figured that if I could get off morphine and Percocet for ONLY six months – it would be worth it to lift the “brain fog” that I’ve been under…
I advise ALL bipolar sufferers and those who love them, NOT to believe every rumor they hear, or article they read, until they have checked their sources. Usually, there will be something on your BipolarCentral site that could clarify it for them. PLEASE continue to stay on top of ALL bipolar news that is so helpful to us all.
BIG HUGS to my fellow bipolar survivors and their supporters. I pray that you are comforted.
David,
Thank you for the link..:)
I love your reaction…:) Remember
your intitled to lose it or feel
overwhelmed….go with the feeling
and take a deep breath…:) you do
so much for others, you just need to give some of it to you…that is
time out…10 minutes to do nothing but breath and let it all
go….take some time for you every day not just once in a while, every day. It will all be there when your ready to get back to it..
Like you tell us…don’t take it
so personally…
Hugs,Alexa