Dave,
I know exactly what you are talking about with your mom. My mom had “bad times” of year too. But, my mom used to go manic at the most awful times! When my dad was dying of cancer, my mom was manic. NOW, that was a difficult one! I remember my sister and I trying to take care of him and her both. Her major concern was what to eat and how everything affected her and not Dad so much! My dad used to give us money because he knew we weren’t able to work or do much extra stuff because we were taking the time to take care of him. He told my mom to get the check book one time. My mom yelled at him. She said, “If you keep giving them money, I’ll have nothing when you die”. That wasn’t the case, but it showed the bipolar attitude. She didn’t look at how we were doing everything for the both of them, taking time away from our families and normal responsibilities and would continue to do it for her. It’s hard to separate the bipolar out sometimes. I think my mom also was quite selfish without the bipolar at times too, but she was a good mom when she could be. She was also a strong person and had been through alot in her lifetime.

Good luck with your mom. Maybe I’ll go visit the cemetary today. I go out there because it’s at a park and on a river and it’s woods and meadow… and it’s so peaceful out there. I sometimes get a great sense of peace from visiting. Don’t worry, they don’t “talk to me” or anything… it’s just I feel closer to them and it’s such a beautiful place.

Suzanne this is for you and anyone who loves a good chuckle. I am BIPOLAR and am not offended so I pray no one else is:

Mental Illness Humor

Heard on the Internet:

Ralph and Edna were patients in a mental hospital.

One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Ralph out.

When doctors became aware of Edna’s heroic act they immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she was clearly mentally stable.

When the Head Nurse went to tell Edna the news she said, “Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you’re being discharged; since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of another patient, I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness. The bad news is, Ralph, the patient you saved, hung himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am so sorry, but he’s dead.”

Edna replied “He didn’t hang himself. I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?”

You all weren’t expecting that ending were you? …poor Ralph!

Peggy,

I wouldn’t go around telling people you have Bipolar either especially on a first date or just the getting to know each other thing until you feel secure in telling this stranger your secret.

However, you must always remember that honesty is the best policy. If you want someone to love you for who you are then you have to be honest with who you are. If you accept it, it is easier for others to accept it as well.

You are not a bad person because you have BiPolar you are more than likely very smart, beautiful, and so much more. Focus on the good and do whatever it takes to stay healthy and on top of your illness.

I pray you will have great success in finding that one true love that loves you for you and can always look past the illness you are burdened with.

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

To Everyone,

Please don’t post any urls to any other sites. Any posts will be deleted.

Dave

SORRY about that 🙁 David

I found the articles very informative and beneficial to different ways of coping with emotional and mental health. You provide a great platform and ways to help others supporting BP’s. I imagine it is only to protect you that you have to request it.

I meant no harm 🙂 PROMISE not to put up a link again.

hello all im in love with a woman who has bipolar 2 and never had to deal with anything like this i have been with her on and off for 3 years and yes dave ike youre mom her december and janury are bad times for her it is defeintly manic last year she got on a plane and went to vegas to be with a man she meet on the internet this year i came home to her gone in her car i am paying for she left the last weeek of noveber and is in the screeming and yelling no she refuses to anwser her phone in the past i have taken her baack evertime cause when she come down i have always been there dave she cheated on me once and ammitted it i am in love with her so much im ready to take my on life that is insane thought but i am doing the best i can at not doing this am i the one going crazey here or is there any way i can get a normal life out of her she takes the med then starts to level out and quits i cant make her do it .please help me im in in kansas city ks have no freinds and feeling very alone im scared for my saftey now i have worried my self to death and not eaten in 5 days i need soome support someone please help blkchevy85@yahoo.com i no im not crazey but i feel this is taken me there!!!!!!

Dave, I find it very interesteding (and accurate) how you refer to your mom’s bipolar like it has it’s own identity. The disease really does take on it’s own characteristics, feeding off it’s host like a parasite.

I wonder if your father deals (or does not) the way he does out of fear. Maybe he’s scared to deal with her the way you do because he feels his role as husband should be different than yours as son? Fear is such a strong motivator and also inhibator.

I’ve enjoyed your emails so far – my father was diagnosed bipolar about 10 years ago or so and has recently just admitted for the first time EVER that he’s bipolar. He even managed to fool his current wife of 5 years until he had a pretty big episode about a month ago.

is there any were we can go and chat to each other or for us to respond to one another on here please help me

I have read your e-mails for the longest time,and have found so much helpful information.When my son had the internet I would send him the information from Dave.My son had suffered with bi-polar disorder since he was a young boy.It was my life goal to find the best hospital,Dr’s for him.I only wanted him to be happy with hisself.He spent a lot of time in,and out of the hospitals when he was young.He was taking the correct medications to help him.Last March 19th.he overdosed,and they life flighted him to a major hospital.I was told he wouldn’t live.He did,and was seeing a therapist,and Dr’s afterwards.In Nov.2007 my husband became ill.He died 5 weeks later with cancer.My son was doing well I thought,but I guess he was being strong for me.He moved in with me,and he seemed so happy.He received a nice disibility check monthly,and he wanted to order clothes on e-bay.This was ok,since he liked nice clothes,and the money wasn’t for drugs,or something harmful to him.I was his payee so I had accountability to social security for what was spent.He was so happy when he received his Colts jersey.On Sat.I spent the day at my daughter’s house to take care of the grandkids.I called my son a couple of times that day,and my daughter spoke with him on the phone.He seemed to be fine while talking.I arrived home about 4:45 p.m.I walked to MY bedroom where I found my son on the floor.I knew he was gone,but I was in shock.I called 911,and tried to revive him.They worked on my son for over a hour,but he had gone without oxygen fot to long.So here I remain to ask if I did every thing I could? Dave did I miss perhaps he was going thru a mania time? I read all your e-mails.I thought I was on top of things.If only I could know what he was thinking.My son passed on Jan.5,2008,and my husband on Dec.6,2007.I’m raising a 7 year old granddaughter who witnesed finding my son.My goal in life is to find the help needed for all who suffer with this disorder.

Interesting. Just last night my daughter said, “Ya know, for the first time in a very long time, I feel happy. And I shouldn’t. NOTHING is going ok in my life… i have this horrible head cold, two black eyes (long story), no friends (see two black eyes), i’m jonesing for drugs (see long story, two black eyes), i’m broke, homeless; nothing is working in my life, but i’m happy.”

Ok, I know this one. There’s a lot of contentment in nothing working in your life, dear… there’s nothing left to go wrong. The one good thing about rock bottom is you know there’s no more surprises that can beat you down.

Sigh. I do love her being content, even happy.. but geez, I don’t need that much catastrophe in MY life and of course as her mom i invited her into my tiny one bedroom apartment almost a year ago. She has a strong work ethic, I really thought she’d be back on her feet, working, in her own apartment. I had NO idea how devestating bipolar disease is. Intersting she read the Brittany Spears article in PEOPLE this week and said, other than the celebraty and kids.. that’s me. My heart so goes out to Brittany’s parents… there’s so much more available for children… adult children… you not only can’t step in, they really have to “get it” at a core level that they have a chronic, potentially debilitating disease.

Ok, the whole black eye thing really has me down… but maybe, just maybe this is the turn around. Color me doubtful, she’s followed up on not much that the hospital ER made available to her.

Where’s the chocolate anyhow

Dave,
So happy you have a system to deal with episodes. I will probably never be able to afford your system because my bipolar husband will not go to counseling. He went in the past but because I am the only one working (he had major back and foot injury and takes care of our 2 year old). He takes some medication-some of the time but I am never quite sure what and when. He still has some of the behaviours but I depend on him so much that I cannot monitor EVERY pill he takes. It is impossible-I have tried. Any way, I am happy for you and keep up the good work. At least you provide the free email for me and that does help me keep focused on the issues. Thank you again.
Virginia

Hi David

I am just dropping you a line, to say how very helpful and informative you e-mail’s have been.

In 2000, My cousin committed suicide in the Republic of Ireland. She had bi-polar. Three month’s later, my other cousin (on my mum’s side of the family) also committed suicide. Although, you can never be certain, I do believe that if my Cousin had access to your information, the outcome might have been very different! I too suffer with a depressive illness and for the last 8 years have been on Lithium and a whole cocktail of medication.

Last october, my mum was diagnosed with alzheimer’s disease and for several month’s had being going to bed earlier and earlier (sometimes as early as 5pm). At the time, I asked her if she could be depressed and she denied this. However, after reading your e-mail’s, I was prompted to ask her again this time she said she thought she was.Consequently, we have an appointment to see her psychiatrist later today and I will suggest this to her and hopefully, if she aggree’s with me, she will probably prescribe her some antidepressant’s and I have no doubt that if she does, my mum’s quality of life will almost certainly improve.

Can i just say, that whenever you feel despondent and doubt yourself, please remember what you have done for my mum and myself and no doubt countless other people.

May I therefore take this opportunity to wish you and you family a very happy and healthy New Year!

Marian

To DONNAM: Please accept my deepest condolences on the unexpected and unnecessary death of your son. It sounds as if he was quite “normal” when you spoke to him that day; but suicidal people are often “upbeat” right before they “do the deed.” There was absolutely NOTHING you could have done to prevent this. He had it in his mind to kill himself, and nothing on God’s green Earth could have stopped him. Don’t blame yourself or feel guilty – it was his illness that caused this. He was NOT himself when he died.

Rest assured – he is in the Arms of the Lord, where no pain can reach him.

Dave,
I think diferent of you about the behavior of your mother.Appears that she wants take your attention ,but don’t tell you clearly.So she say that all is well.But she knows that you know her to much, and will discover the truth, and take the necessary providence.She is felling that is uppseting you,like in the case of the computer.She don’t want that.So, she said that all is allright.Lilian p.

Is more easy for me bring me the comments in spanish please. thanks God Bless you

Dave,
Iam a mom with Bi-Polar.I was diagnoised in 1982. My symptoms presented during puberty.I ran away from home several times with my
boyfriend who was much older than me.
I married him at 18.We were married for 11 years,which I was abused for
the entire marriage.
We had Three sons.Then in 1980 my
younger brother was killed in an accident.(he was 15).I decided then
that I wasn’t gonna take the abuse any longer. My
docs have told me that the stress
of the abuse triggered my first manic episode.I began self medicating and running around.
I knew I was wrong,but a force
inside of me was stronger.My
drinking became so bad .I felt
myself slipping into a dark hole.
When I woke up on the beach one morning with the waves hiting my face,I decided to get some help.I
signed myself into a woman’s rehab program.After 2 days of counseling
It was determined that I had another problem,not alcohol.I was
admitted to a facility for mental
rehab.I was there for 3 months.
There, I was put on meds.Lithium
of course was the DOC then.
I was leveled out and released.
The Lithium made me feel so yuk.
I was on it for about 2 years.One day I just threw all my meds down the toliet.Even on my meds I had trouble with people,family,authority.My mom
took care of my children during
all of this.There were times that I would realize I was banging my
head against the wall.I mean,It was like I couldn’t handle things,paying bills,grocery shopping,crowds,homework.I know that my children’s lifes were as bad as mine.They are grown now and
have children of their own.
I have talked with each of them of those days and begged their forgiveness,which iam so happy to say they have.
I then got an idea I wanted to be a nurse.I got my lvn in 1989.The boys were teens ,and i was single,and it was very hard.I did it though.I told noone at school about my Bi-Polar.I wanted to be normal,like them.I graduated,and went to work as a nurse.That lasted about 2 years.I got manic and started going to work drunk.I quit
and lost myself in a world of
craziness.i was hospitlazed in 1993 or 1994.I can’t remember.I was on the psych ward for 30 days.Again diagnoised Bi-Polar.AGain put on
Lithium.The events during that time are kind a dim.I was on my meds for about a year.Again I flushed them down the toliet.
During the nursing program I became friends with one of the other students.We kept in contact over the years.She talked me into going ack to a doc and getting on meds again.Now it was 1998 and new meds were around.I was put on 2 different mood stablelizers and anti anziety meds.I was pretty good on these.Inbetween all of this i got married in 1987.I tried various
jobs,they never lasted.With me, I get an idea for work,gungho.Then I wake up one morning and can’t face getting into the car and going to work.my feet won’t move.
My husband’s job carried insurance but even with the insurance we couldn’t afford the meds.I took myself off the meds.That was in
janurary of last year.

we have moved to another state now.
His job doesn’t carry insurance that we can afford.I am slipping away again,i feel it.I need meds bad,but we dont have the money to spare.I have such guilt for my younger years,and at times I can’t bear it.I know it wasn’t easy for my children growing up with a Bi-Polar mom.It hasn’t been easy being Bi-Polar either.I thought that getting older would make it go away.it doesn’t
Wow I didnt think I had that much to say
thank you for letting me say it

hi
regarding your mom and christmas,
it is for sure that christmas is the most stressfull period and it ignite mood swings.
as you said and i think i understood, due to a cause of not involving in crhistmas as usual this year your mom was better this christmas.

bipolar are smarter! because when they are up they take decision easier and more creative, because any thing is possible when they are up