I have a daughter with bipolar she goes to a residential school this is her 2nd year. she thinks there is nothing wrong with her she doesn’t take her meds when she comes home on the weekends I also don’t know if its doing anything for her I’m having a problem now getting her to go back to school I don’t know if having her in the school is doing anything for her she’s 17 & has this year & next year before she can graduate & i want to give up.

Hi all and David
I used to be in charge of a “job assembly” section in the computer centre of a major UK bank. One lady working for me had a reputation of being … well, flaky! The quality of her work was, at best, inconsistent! At worse it WAS the worst. Many a time had I seen her being balled out by other managers in the centre because she’d made some error making up the card input for the computers. (Card input … just shows you how long ago this was!) Some explained to be “she’s manic depressive.” He went on, “She’s cr@p! We’re building case so we can sack her.” Well, came the day that I was taken off shift work and put in charge of the permanent days Job Assembly team. So the same time she was put on the day shift with me. I also got a an alleged schizophrenic as well. (Not sure she was but she most certainly was paranoid! Big time!) “Lovely!” I thought. “This is going to be fun!”
Now, one thing I noticed about my paranoid lady was that she was VERY good at her job. She needed treatment but she’d not have advice from anyone! Nevertheless, she was excellent at her work even though she was convinced she was rubbish at it. So, in her case, he best I could do was just let her get on with the job and I’d praise her when she did well and go softly when she made an errors, which were few and far between anyway. Now, BP lady was a bundle of nerves. And why not? Every time she made mistakes, which was often, she’d get shouted at! I’d even heard one manager swear at her, and not just the “polite” stuff – she was called a f###ing something or other. Appalling thing to do to anyone but most of all to a woman who was unwell and already a jitter.
So, the first time she worked with me – you guess? She made a howling error. Someone ran over. “June (not her real name) has cocked up AGAIN!” I walked over. She was quivering. Her hands were shaking. It seemed obvious to me that there is no point in telling someone off, let alone shouting at them if they are already punishing themselves! So, I spoke in a quiet voice and asked, “So, what’s happened?” She told me – it was a big gaff. So, I quietly laughed, making a joke of it and kept my voice quietly said, “Okay. What can we do about it?” I could see her spring beginning to uncoil! She simply said she could fix it, but I could see she needed someone to hold her hand, as it were – she was still much to nervous to do what had to be done on her own. But I said, “Ok, you get on with it and,” bringing in to the conversation my better staff, “Bob, just give June a hand, please.” He was bright enough to know he wanted me to let June do the work and for him to just to give her reassurance.
You could see the relief on her face! No one had shouted at her.
Over the next few weeks she began to relax and feel comfortable about telling me off her errors herself. And the more she relaxed, the more she knew she’d not be balled out for errors, THE BETTER SHE BECAME! In fact she became one of the bedrocks of my unit, confident enough to take the lead and even instruct other, less able or less experienced people in the job.
Eventually, my little band of “nuts”, as we had been called, broke all records for what were known as “misops”. That is to say, we made fewer mistakes in assembling live work than any other team had done before us. Other team leaders couldn’t believe it! How could I have achieved that with two “screwballs”, as they impolitely put it? Well, we did!
I’m not entirely sure if she did well because of or in spite of her BP. In this case I suspect it was more “in spite” of because the job was high pressure! But I believe this is a lesson to people-managers. I don’t doubt that your folk, David, do well because of their BP; but I also suspect hey do well because you have great empathy with BPs, and they will feel secure in that, thereby giving you their best efforts. So, don’t underplay your own people-management skills because it’s pretty obvious from what you write and how you speak about people, you’re very good leader. If the leader lacks empathy and sensitivity, no one will work well, LEAST OF ALL someone with the fragilility of a BP in an episode.

Thanks.I think this info is excellent!

Hi David,
Could you elaborate more on the types of jobs and projects that those with bi-polar are completing for you.
Thanks
Kath.

Hi, Dave!

Hey, I don’t think you’ll be offended because I think you know what your strengths are.. I have noticed some problems with spelling and grammar in your daily e-mails. I’m a REALLY good writer, and I would love a chance to proof-read them for you before you put them out. It wouldn’t be hard; they’re little mistakes and you make the same ones; I could do it quickly and easily. I’d be willing to do it for free; it would be my pleasure and it would give me something constructive to do. Just an offer…

Sue H. from Ohio

Hello dave, sorry to hear you are having problems my friend. I do not suffer from bi-polar but am on benefit for depression and have had psychotic ephisodes in the past, but these were caused by drinking problems. Sorry I haven’t ordered your master course, but it is of no use to me. I do not suffer from bi-polar, and know no one that that does. But I have a B.Sc (hons) in biology and an M.Sc (masters degree) in biology/medical science/ neuropsycholgy. I find your e-mails usefull, as as the stuff you say can be applied to people with other problems.Don’t let em put you down Dave. People who are succesfull, with a lot of supporters, also get people who give em a bad time. It happens to everyone like that. hang on in there dave buddy

Your friend, Jacek.

Yes, Dave, just as with “normal” people, there are some people with bipolar disorder who CAN function very well on their meds and with therapy.

However, there was only ONE point in my life where I was able to hold down a job for only THREE years. I gave NO indication that I had a mental illness, and was considered one of the better legal secretaries in the firm. But – I made the mistake of changing jobs; I was greedy, and the new job offered $200 more a month than the old job. By that time, the hypomania had set in, and in less than a month with the new job – I was in the hospital for full-blown mania.

There is one thing you have to understand. No matter how qualified or functional most bipolar sufferers appear to be – it is almost impossible to stay on a job for very long; too much stress, no flex-time, high expectations once you’ve “proved yourself.” The longest job I ever had was for three years…

After my first husband died, I went on disability in 1990. I have not worked since. I do a little “mystery shopping” for cigarette money, and answer surveys over the Internet for points or cash. If I could find a job with EXCELLENT flex-time (as my therapist suggests), then it MIGHT work.

I have a “plan” for a part-time job that sounds ideal for me – teaching people “Computers 101.” I would go to their homes – after a referral from someone like a computer repairman – and teach them the BASICS of how to USE their computer. My first objective is to contact the manager of the Senior Center and offer my services for free, in order to find out, 1) what people are looking for, and 2) if I can do it. To me, it sounds do-able; now if I can only get off my “fat ass” and get to the Senior Center before my motivation wanes!!

I’m glad that your team of bipolar survivors work out GREAT for you, and that you have given them a chance to prove themselves. Yes – there is STILL a lot of stigma related to bipolar disorder – or mental illness as a whole. Unfortunately, the populace as a whole – and employers in particular – see mental illness as a curse and those with it as violent people. Of course, you’re going to find the “bad apples” in the non-mentally-ill people as well, but the media has ALWAYS promoted the “sick” ones as perpetrating crimes of a heinous nature. No wonder there’s a stigma. As a matter of fact, in your BipolarNews, there is at least ONE article about a bipolar sufferer “going off” and killing someone or him/herself. Although we KNOW this happens, it only serves to stigmatize us even more.

Thanks for ALL you do, Dave, to support us bipolar survivors and their supporters. Without you, I doubt that many of us would be as successful as we are turning out to be!

BIG HUGS to all; I keep you in my prayers daily.

I was diagnosed with bipolar 12 years ago. At first I had no idea what bipolar is, I just knew the symptoms because they were what I was feeling.

I had been successful in my jobs so I never took the time to investigate what bipolar is and the effects the disorder can have on people.

I didn’t do this because I wasn’t having any problems at work or home. I was on medication that seemed to be working rather well.

Then, I had an episode that was out-of-control and was fired from my job.

I haven’t had a job now for two years. I have been trying several different medications to get myself back on track. This has been difficult.

I was so depressed about loosing my job and being unable to find another one that I ended up getting Electric Convulsive Therapy treatments to help pull me out of my depression. The ECT treatments worked better than any medication.

I guess my point is that figuring out the right medication cocktail that works for you takes time. There is not one concoction that works for everyone so be patient. You and your doctor will find the right mix for your individual needs.

Don’t give up, your time is coming.

Hi To All
I am not supporting someone with bipolar any more, but strongly beleive my now ex has it . What makes me believe that is the while we were still together she was diagnosed with postpardum 3 years after the last child was born .
I can’t do anything to help her out but I’m very afraid for my two children .
It’s not only the lies that she tells but the lies that she is teaching the children to say .
I have made it knowen to her about the problem but she refuses to beleive there is anything wrong with her .
Any help would be much appreciated
Thank You