How’s it going? I had a quick story that
I wanted to share with you that will
be really important to you if you have
bipolar disorder OR if you are supporting
someone with bipolar disorder.
Yesterday after I took several phone calls
related to all my businesses that I have,
I had to go to a business meeting.
Let me tell you, it’s far. It’s almost in
New York which is far from me. And there’s
traffic. And the closer you get to New York
the more mean the drivers are. So I wasn’t
looking forward to it.
Well some how, amazingly, I got there
on time even generally there is so much
traffic you just can’t leave early enough.
So I got to the meeting, was listening and
doing the meeting thing. HOURS went by.
The meeting was suppose to be only 2 hours
I didn’t have my cell phone on and I leaned
over to a guy and looked at his watch I thought
it said 9:15pm. I was like, “What the heck,
it’s time to go.”
So I kept hearing, “Oh, and another thing.
Oh and one more thing. Isn’t this meeting
great, I know it was a little long
but it’s great isn’t it?”
I was dying in my chair. First it’s hard
for me to sit still for this long to
begin with. Secondly I get bored kind
of fast and I have so many things to do.
In the meeting that was NOT related to
bipolar disorder, I had already outlined
my goals for all the mental health stuff
for 2009, outlined multiple interviews
I was going to do, new article ideas,
a new way to handle my phone calls, etc.
So I did get a lot done in the time
plus I listened to what was going on. I really
did. I swear :).
Okay, so at like 9:40pm, I lean next to the
guy and say, “Hey, this is way longer
than 2 hours and it’s almost 3 and 1/2 hours
and when’s this going to be done? I have
to eat every 2.5 hours and I am starting
to feel really bad and sick.”
NOTE-I body build non competitively and
I do eat ever 2.5 hours when I am awake and
if I don’t, I start to feel really sick. I can
probably pass out if I hit the 5 hour mark
and I get really weak and I can’t even think
so I was being totally serious.
Anyway, the guy leans over to me and says:
“Don’t worry about it, you know a guy once
didn’t eat for a whole year?”
I was like “What the heck? Just because
some moron supposedly didn’t eat for a whole
year I am suppose to be happy not eating
when I am suppose to and then I was thinking
who cares about the guy that didn’t eat
for a whole year? Am I the guy who didn’t
eat for a whole year? Is that a true
I was super mad. And started to leave
and then the meeting was over and then it
The Bipolar Disorder Statistical Outliner
What’s that? Well when you look at mathematical
averages there is something called the
This is something that falls way outside
of the average and is on the outlining
areas of a given group.
For example, most people eat daily, but there’s
a man that eat or ate once a year. He is on the
OUTSIDE of the averages of normal people.
How does this relate to bipolar? Good question.
Here’s how it does. There are certain things
that are done to support someone with
bipolar disorder or if you have it yourself.
We could argue that you could call them “bipolar
disorder best practices.” Best practices is a term
used to define things that are generally proven
to work best for a given objective.
So let’s look at bipolar disorder and best practices.
Generally it’s things like, find a great doctor,
go to him/her regularly, find a great therapist,
go to him/her regularly, take medication, take it
like you are suppose to, exercise, eat right,
don’t have too much stress in your life, protect
your finances, etc.
Those are all things that are considered best practices?
That makes sense?
Now the statistical outliner would be like a person
that you found who is stable who does NOT do
or engage in best practices. This person doesn’t
take medication, doesn’t see a doctor, does
illegal drugs, drinks all night long, is stressed
a ton, eats junk food, etc.
This one out a million or 10 million would be stable
but he/she is NOT the norm and should not be modeled.
For example, with kids, you encourage them to go
to college or at least high school? Why because going
to high school and college is best practices with
getting a good job right? Well there is probably at least
one person who dropped out of the 4th grade and is a
Now would you encourage your kid to drop out of the
4th grade and skip all the rest of the grades and high
school and college? Of course not. Why? Because you
know that statically speaking your kid will not
do well financially in life.
It’s the same thing with bipolar disorder, you have
to model best practices and average of people who do
well, NOT look to the statistical outliner and follow
Occasionally I go to a support group meeting and hear
that there is such and such a person that does NOTHING
that makes any sense and the person is doing great.
99% of the time I believe it’s a lie but 1% I think
it’s true but I always say the same thing “So what?
You think I am going to have my mom do that kind of thing
with her bipolar disorder, you’re crazy.”
This is a VERY important concept that I hope makes
sense to you. Bottom line is you have to follow
what works for most people with bipolar disorder
whether you are a supporter or a person with
bipolar disorder not follow things that work for
1 out 25 million people. And be careful of people
that tell you stories of people who are doing
well bipolar disorder or being a supporter
of someone with bipolar disorder which makes
no sense at all and seems to deviate from
If you listen to all my interviews in all my courses
I only let people talk about things that are best
practices not random luck of the draw statistical outliner
type of strategies. That’s no good to regular and
average people like I am and I think you are as well.
SUPPORTING AN ADULT?
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN?
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.