Hi,
I just wrote an article recently that I think a number
of people, really, really, really need.
It’s titled: “Ways to Calm Down Quickly When Overwhelmed”
I have received many emails over the last few days
from people who are overwhelmed with problems from
bipolar disorer. This is supporters and surviviors
of bipolar disorder.
Anyway, here is the article:
Sometimes we don’t even realize how much stress has
built up within us until all of a sudden we feel
totally overwhelmed. Then there are other times when
a stressful situation is immediately thrust upon us
and we are instantly overwhelmed by it. At those times,
we go from a calm state of mind to completely stressed
in an instant.
Whichever situation happens to you, you need to know
how to calm down quickly in a stressful, overwhelming
situation.
There are several easy and quick ways to deal with that
overwhelming feeling. Then you will be better able to
deal with whatever put you in that stressful situation.
The following suggestions may be helpful to you (some may
be combined):
-Take a walk.
Exercise is a great stress reliever, because it is a
natural one. We all have endorphins in our bodies, and
they become excited by any type of exercise, whether it
is aerobics, or just a simple walk. When these endorphins
are excited, they make us feel better naturally, thus
becoming a natural stress reliever, and instantly calming
us down. Walking will give you a chance to think about
whatever it is that put you in the stressful situation to
begin with, and is also a quick and easy way to deal with
that overwhelming feeling of stress – to relax both your mind
and your body.
-Take some deep breaths.
If you cannot leave the situation you are in, you can at
least take some deep breaths. Relaxation experts advise
anywhere from five to ten deep breaths in and out slowly
(to a count of 5), relaxing your body. At the same time,
they advise picking one word or phrase (some call it a
“mantra”) to repeat as you breathe in, and again as you
breathe out. This will help you concentrate on your
breathing, and distract you from the stressful,
overwhelming situation in which you find yourself.
You may not be able to remove your body, but you can
relax it.
Practicing breathing exercises has both physical and
emotional benefits for you. For one thing, you can do
them anywhere and at any time. For another thing, this
type of breathing gets more oxygen into your body and
will improve your ability to think clearly, helping you
to better cope with the situation at hand. With a clear
mind and a relaxed body, you will be able to quickly and
easily deal with that overwhelming feeling of stress.
-Change your perspective.
Sometimes we are our own worst enemy. And sometimes we
create our own stress! Negative thinking is the most
obvious way we do this. Changing your perspective can
work well with the breathing exercises described above.
For instance, pick a phrase such as, “I can handle this.”
Try looking at your situation from a positive perspective.
Think, “What is the worst that can happen?” realizing that
anything less than that is something you can cope with!
Then watch your stress level immediately lessen.
I will be sending part two tomorrow. Also, someone asked
me if my courses/systems cover stress reduction techniques.
They do not focus on this but all material is designed
to provide answers to questions people have and help
people cope and deal with bipolar disorder whether
they have it work not.
Here are the links for more information:
SUPPORTING AN ADULT?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
Well I have to take off for the day. Have a great day
yourself and I will catch you tomorrow. Hang in there.
Your Friend,
Dave
P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/
P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com
Thankyou.
I’ve only recently been diagnosed, and it’s all pretty crazy.
I don’t have much support, and you’re helping me.
Hello David. I thought I would let you know that I am getting your emails. I suffer from a closed brain injury as well as Bi-Polar.
I’ve gotton myself a really good doctor and we have myself on the right combination of medication. The one thing I find over welming for me is that I forget to take my medication some times. THen I’m messed up the next day.
In March of this year I lost my DAD and if it wasn’t for the medication I think my lovely Daughter would be without both of us. I loved my dad so much it hurts me knowing I’ll never see him again until I go too HEAVEN.
Any ways your email are wonderful and very helpful to myself. My daughter copes the best way she can with her mom’s mental illmess.
Thanks David your a big Support.
Cheers
Shyme60
Dear Dave,
Your stress techniques are great. Yet even though I stay calm about my boyfriend’s wanting to leave, all the while that he’s thinking that (as he calls it)he’s doing the right thing for himself by not having any sex with me and leaving, the issue is still stress ful and it kept me awake all night last night. Sure, I was calm, I never asked him questions or anything, he’s just doing everything he wants to …again. Yet it does not relieve the feelings of being rejected, sexually and otherwise. He used to use the no sex thing as a control method while he was cheating. Now, who knows what he’s doing again? He’s being totally selfish as he always was. Nothing has changed about that. It’s stressful to hear that he wants me to go have sex with other people while he’s living there with me. What kind of man says that to his woman??? It’s disgusting. And it’s stressful.
I told him that while in a relationship two people must be responsible and care for each other. If he’s going around with everyone else, of course he’ll get bored with just me. He should control himself so as not to hurt what good that there is in the relationship. I guess he’s very immature and doesn’t get it yet. He’d rather give up what he has to run around out there. Or maybe he has someone, but he’s denying it. It would help me to let go easier and to understand more if he’d admit what’s going on. Like I said, he’s not a man, and is childish. I tell him that I hope that he’s found what or who he wants and that he won’t have to look far to find trash because its out there. However, I don’t have to put up with feeling bad and be told to become immoral because he wants me to. He’s got the wrong girl. He just has to remember… when he gets there, there he is.
He’s never taken me anywhere, everything for three years has been all about him. I can count the times on one hand that he ever took me out or went out with me just to hang out and go dancing.
When it comes to house hold things, it’s good. When it comes to treating me as a woman and showing me some excitement like when he and I first were dating… He treats me like I’m a maid or his mother. It makes me feel bad and is very stressful to think that he took me as a vivacious female and tried to destroy me inside in everyway possible. It feels really bad that the friendship won’t be there anymore at all with no repair. He easily would rather cut me out of his life than go and get psychological help or relationship counseling to teach him not to destroy what we have by wanting other women. There’s nothing else that I can do and it’s stressful, yet I have to go on. To think of never ever seeing this being in my life again when I do believe that all he needs is some good therapy, is stressful. He wants me to still come around and cook for him when he’s gone, (so I can watch him see other women I guess, Huh?) that’s stressful to have to tell him “No” because that would only hurt me more. He’s done this very same thing to me over and over in three years, then he always comes back because he gets himself into severe trouble and I’m left to take care of everything. As soon as it’s all fixed, he’s back at this garbage again. It’s sad to say but I feel very used. I will try to make a conscious effort to try your techniques, but mine is not an issue of sudden stress. He intends to destroy me slowly.
As someone who has struggled with bp/moodswing for years,I recommend any and every stress reduction technique you can acquire! Naps/meditation work for me, too – not to mention stretching, yoga and the like –
((( 4 c.m. i have left u a comment on the last blog… x Luck with everything x )))
x my BiPolar man is back..he is asking me AGAIN if i am still in love with him… i d0 not kn0w what 2 say because he kn0ws how i feel about him..and i am just too afraid 2 tell him the truth because it could b part of his nasty game..he will get 2 hear the things he wants to hear and then tell me AGAIN that he has n0 feelings for me… x
x kinda lost.. just do not want 2 b ripped apart by his words anymore!! x
xxbuTTerFLY ~ Londonxx
Dave,
I totally agree when you said, as a past therapist once told me, to use a mind over matter technique and exercise…BUT
This is something I would share with anyone. Bi-Polar attacks are not like “anyone’s”. And these techniques don’t work, when someone has hit that major low and can not over come it with anything other than waiting out.
“Anyone’s” attacks would not leave them confused, while waking in a jail cell and not knowing how, when, or why they have gotten there.
So I must ask…any other suggestions for a Bipolar person enfogged by a panic or manic attack?
ME
yeah evry true dave i do some walks but i like to put on carry weighs hehe. Also my friends help me so i talk tot hem and they let me insult and let all that bad energy come out, or simply play a fps videogame works for me wanna try? hehe i play better when im very mad…and thatw ay i dont rip off the head of the first person than comes around, i just kill all the “digital online people” XD. (well for me this works im a very agresive bipolar guy, so anyone like thta can try it XD, try anything than makes you use lots of yorue energy the rest bipolars dunno sorry guys)
Hey emily, sorry to heard that, i dont have much support either fbut i have worked in some stuff my doc/friend told me and it works.
maye i can give help you if you want XD cause well yeah it lil bad when no much support is a though illness.
take care all, and thxs dave n_n im gonna take a walk more often, hitting the wall is not very healthy lol.
Well, I can share two techniques that were taught to me by other “maniacs” in the psychiatric ward in D.C.: When you feel the walls are closing in on you; stand in the corner, and push the opposing walls AWAY. 2) Cross your arms across your waist, and breathe deeply 4 times, then take a 5th breath – and it becomes a yawn – which is quite a stress reliever. Also, when I had a panic attack during group therapy there, the techs dragged me back to the “closed” ward – and the nurse gave me an aspirin! Simple – yes, but effective.
I’m in a little bit of a “rush” now, as I got up at 4 this morning, and only had an hour-and-a-half nap this afternoon before I went on my consulting job at 5:30 this afternoon. I went to sleep about 2:30 this morning, so I am running on “fumes.” As a bipolar, I really ENJOY being somewhat “hyper” – I’ve been on an anti-inflammatory for about a week, that kept me from getting up in the morning until 11-Noon, and I didn’t get ANYTHING done. I function SO much better on little sleep – but, I KNOW, I can’t keep it up. It will just throw me into a mania, and then what will that accomplish?
Right now, I own my own condo, live alone with my two cats, and have a rewarding part-time job. I feel I’m a highly-functioning bipolar, but I DO slip once in awhile, and get “down.” That’s the only drawback to being HIGH – the coming “down.” At this point, I can’t AFFORD to go “manic;” too many people are counting on me, and I have too many responsibilities. I’m on the “right” meds, I go to my therapy sessions every other week, and I maintain my weight at 120 lbs. SO – tell me what’s wrong with that??!!
I have a friend thAT WAS ALSO A COWORKER…WE WORKED LATE HOURS AND TOUGH TIMES..ALWAYS POSITIVE…THEN 1 MONTH AGO SHE SHATTERED ME WITH A PHONE CALL” OF HOW I MISSED CALLING HER BACK!!!tRAUMA ANGER” NEVER EXPERINCED BEFORE IN LIFE ECEPT FOE AN ANGRY ” ALCOHOLIC….
WAS THAT? AN EPIDOE???OVERNITE????
THANKYOU FOR REPLYS…lINLIN//
Hi David,
I love a man whom I believe has bi-polar as well as some associated disorders like OCD/OCPD and AD/HD. Sucks to have all of that in one person. His episodes cycle about every 3 to 4 weeks. Then we get into a huge fight because he “doesn’t understand” me because I am “illogical” and I “don’t make sense”. Usually this is when I am confronting him about his overreaction to some trivial incident like, I said “how was your day?” and all of the sudden, I am “interrogating” him. Or, I wanted to talk to him during a commercial when we are watching TV together and I don’t notice the show has come back on so now I am being “inconsiderate”. Or, … and the list goes on. Sometimes I feel like I am the one who is insane. I read the post by the Lady whose bf is running around on her… except for the running around part, that sounds like my bf… I wondered for a second there if I was channeling. Now, he (my bf) wants to break up again. I just had surgery and I didn’t get up and find a job quick enough (even tho I went to an interview the day after surgery) after he lost me the LAST job I had where he kept calling me and stressing me out while I was at work and then said I didn’t work hard enough and didn’t come home and work another 8 hours on his projects for his business. This after working a 10 hour day at my job while he spent most of his day chatting about inconsequentials like his latest exercise routine with bank tellers on the phone (per one of his employees who was helping him and ended up doing most of the work while he was talking on the phone) and then he gets MAD at me because I come home and am tired and I don’t want to stay up all night when I have work the next day helping him finish the project he “didn’t have time” to finish because he was in a manic mode and was talking to strangers about his exercise routine and our love life. AT any rate, I don’t know what to do. I have put nearly 3 years of my life into this relationship and now I feel so burnt out, stressed, and depressed because, now that I am not working, had surgery, and all that kind of stuff, he is not there for me. He wants to break up and he wants me to move out TODAY! It’s just not possible. I just had surgery last Wednesday I while I have interview scheduled for today, for last week, and have applied to numerous jobs, I don’t have the wherewithal physically, emotionally or financially to move. He has always controlled all of the money. Whenever I have money, outside of expenses, I always give all of it to him. I spent 2 and a half years working for him for no salary to help him get his business under control and every time I turn around, he adds more projects and now everything is out of control again and I have nothing. No savings, no money, and barely any unemployment insurance until I have a job again. He’s got everything: the house, the business, and all of the control. So, the crazy person is in control of the mental hospital. Please help me! I don’t know what to do or where to turn.
I was just diagnosed about a year ago but have had the disorder for sometime now and I enjoy the support and hope that you give. Thanks for the techniques.