Bipolar Supporter Blog

Here is the current Bipolar Disorder news.
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews329

There’s some really interesting news stories this week.
Take a look at them. Also, write me some feedback by
visiting my blog below.

Here are some of the headlines:

10-Year Retrospective Study Shows Progress in American Attitudes …

Biggest-ever gene scan throws up new links to diseases

Bipolar disorder treatment: What role do antidepressants play?

When your child is not ‘perfect’

Church’s role in mental health

For these stories and more, please visit:

http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews329

My Resources For Bipolar:

Quickly And Easily Explain Bipolar To People
Go here for more information.
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/explainingbipolar

Need Money Because Of Bipolar Disorder?
Go here for more information
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarbusiness

Dating Someone With Bipolar?
Go here for more information
http://www.BipolarCentral.com/bipolardating

Want To Marry Someone Who Has Bipolar?
Go here for more information
http://www.BipolarCentral.com/bipolarmarriage/

Need Affordable Health Insurance When Dealing With Bipolar Disorder?
Go here for more information
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/insuranceguide/

Problems With Drugs, Alcohol And Addiction?
Go here for more information
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolaraddiction/

Trying To PREVENT A Divorce From Someone With Bipolar Disorder?
Go here for more information:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolardivorce

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

How’s it going? I have some good news and some
bad news. The good news is my mom seems to
be back on track.

The other day I wrote an email about how
it looked like my mom was going into
another bipolar disorder episode.

I said how basically it was odd because
she normally goes in one major episode
a year and one gigantic big episode every
5 to 7 years. I was saying how in the
last 12 months she had been in 3 episodes
which were caught early enough so they
were resolved with 7 days or so.

NOTE-It’s hard to keep track of all these
episodes so if some of the time is off
from another email I sent it’s because I don’t
really have a bipolar episode log, it’s from
my memory.

Anyway, the other day I was saying how I
was seeing signs my mom was going into
another episode again. I was telling
you have I was growing concerned and
was going to monitor the situation.

On this note, here’s something I want
to tell you. I am not micro managing my
mom. For example, if I see her going
into an episode I don’t say any thing. I
watch, listen and review. I see how things
go. I see if she follows the system she
has for herself. I see what my dad does.

I allow it to get right before a total
nightmare and then if I need to I step
in. I believe this is the right thing
to do. I know I can’t keep jumping in
and fixing things all the time or I will
never have a life :).

So in this case, I told my dad that it didn’t
seem like my mom was following all the things
she needs to do with her bipolar stability
equation. I told him she missed church, was
going to bed late, missed therapy, missed
exercise.

Anyway over the last two days, based on what
I hear from my dad and now my aunt and based
on what my mom said to me on the phone, it
appears she is back on track. I will say this
medication is SUPER important for my mom but
there are other things as well.

Speaking of medication, here’s the bad news.
Yesterday, I was in the gym and I heard some
really disturbing stories.

This one woman came up to me that knows that I have
websites related to bipolar disorder and she told
me how her niece has it and has lost her job
and going to probably lose her marriage.

Then another person randomly came up to me
and said he had a good friend who has bipolar
disorder who drinks and is really violent. He
said he is going to stay away from his friend
because he is scared of him when he is “off.”

Then I was driving home and a friend called
and told me there was a person he heard about
that was married with two or more kids and
the husband was drinking and had bipolar disorder.
One day he went out and never came back. From
what I was told, I think he is assumed dead.

I was kind of sad hearing all these stories.
The thing that makes me most sad is this. When
I think about a person who has bipolar disorder
and their lack of stability I think that it’s
so easy for them to be stable or establish
a level where they are mostly stable. Being
a 10 on a scale of 1 to 10 is difficult. But
getting to 6 is not in my opinion.

You want to know what all the people above
had in common?

THEY ALL STOPPED TAKING THEIR MEDICATION!

ALL OF THEM.

Do you know how many hundreds of stories I have
read from people on my list that have loved one’s
that got off their medications and it turned
into a total absolute nightmare?

Today I want to remind everyone the importance
of medication for stability with bipolar disorder.
You know what I am amazed about how people don’t
talk more about this.

I go to support group meetings and the speakers
that’s right THE SPEAKERS will not flat out say
the importance of medication they like talk around
in circles.

100% of the people that I know who do well with
bipolar disorder take medication like their doctor says

100% of the people who work for me that have bipolar
disorder take medication like their doctor says

100% of the success stories I have found
take medication like their doctors says

EVERYONE I have interviewed with bipolar disorder
that had major problems like homelessness, bankruptcy,
failed marriages, no friends, drugs, alcohol, etc.
all was traced back to not taking medication.

What amazes me is there are people that do not
take medication and think it’s like a game or
it’s funny. You see them post every now and
then on my blog. They will say things like “I
am feeling great and doing great and not taking
medication.” As soon as I read that, I feel
really bad for the people who are around them.
Because I know FOR SURE it’s going to be a nightmare
for the friends and family members around.

If my mom didn’t take her medication there is
NO way we would deal with her. NO way. She knows
this too. If she stopped taking her medication
she would ramp up into a super manic episode,
I would have nothing to do with her, she would
put so much stress on my dad he would most likely
have a stroke (he has told me this numerous times),
she then would probably focus on her mother than
sister. It would be a total destructive thing.

Here’s the thing however, my mom, according to
her and according to what I have found has always taken
her medication for the past 30 years or so. She told
me for the first 10 years she didn’t take it all the
time. But in the last 30 she has.

My mom knows medication is totally important to
her. I just don’t know why everyone doesn’t think like
her or Michele Soloway who works for me who takes
her medication. I just can’t figure it out.

One last story. I once interviewed someone who lived
outside the United States, with a wife, a business and kids. He told
me he got off his medication and then woke up in a
psychiatric hospital in California. He then found
out he was divorced, lost his business, custody to
his kids and that he had done many bad things. All
because he got off his medication.

If you listen to the interviews in my courses/systems:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

You hear these types of stories. Medication is
super important.

Well I have to take off right now.

Have a great day.

Dave

P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/

P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com

Hi,

How’s it going? Hope you are doing late. I
am a little behind schedule today so I
have to kind of make this short.

I’ve recently gotten several hundred emails
from people asking questions like

How do you get a proper diagnosis for bipolar disorder
How do you know which medication you need for bipolar disorder
What medication is your mom taking
Which medications don’t work for bipolar disorder
What do I do when my loved one is going into an episode
Etc.

I get these and wonder, how come people don’t know the
answer. The answer is simple. You contact the or a
qualified doctor who is generally a psychiatrist.

These are the people that handle these questions.
In my opinion, the key to success with bipolar disorder
is with the doctor.

First as I look back, my mom had many bad doctors. Many
had no clue. But then there were some that were made
into bad doctors by us (my family), I will send more
about this tomorrow. There’s a way a good doctor
can be made to look like a bad doctor, when they
aren’t.

Secondly, my parents never really thought a good
or great doctor was important. I asked my dad if
they ever shopped for a doctor or ever went all
out like I did for my mom in 2005, to find a good one.

Thirdly, I have seen that a good doctor can accomplish
what many think is impossible with someone. For
example, with my mom, she went into that huge bipolar
disorder episode starting in 2004. No doctor
she worked with could help her.

Look at this. She first was in the psychiatrist
hospital for almost 2 weeks. NOBODY could help.
Then she was kicked out of that and put into
an outpatient program. She saw doctor after
doctor. She never got any better. She was
yelling, screaming, not stable, etc.

I would call the people that ran the out patient
program and ask things like:

So how much longer until she is better
What are you guys doing?
What’s the outlook?
Have there been people you can’t help, if so how many?
Do you have any doctors in the program that are for the really
difficult cases?
Etc.

I was worried that my mom would get out before she was
better. I started to think at this point that she
might not get better. I thought and you are going
to think this is strange that she COULD, and I repeat
COULD be almost broken and unable to be repaired.

I know this sounds strange because it sounds like
I am referring to some thing not my mom but at this
point, I didn’t have a philosophy, strategy, techniques
or anyone to ask. I was figuring it out as I went.

The supporter groups were no help either. They offered
no practical how to information.

Anyway, my worst fear did come true. My mom was told
the program is over because her insurance would not
pay for it any more.

When I heard this, I got really, really worried.
So then I started to change me thinking. Maybe
lots of doctors are bad (I don’t think this today),
and I have to find the one out of many that is
good.

So I put together a doctor finding system which
thousands of people have learned over the last two
years and it works great.

The strange thing was, as you may know, I found
my mom a new doctor and she got my mom 70% stable
in a week. I was amazed.

Then with a month she was almost back to normal.
To this day I am amazed. I have tried to ask her
over and over again what makes her a good or
better doctor than other ones. She is really
modest and downplays what she did.

BUT it’s not just her, people tell me all over
the country the same story. They used a bunch
of people with no clue and then found someone
really good.

In my courses/and systems, there are several
of these type of stories:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

I will leave you with this last thought.
I have long been amazed how some doctors
are good and some are bad. Some doctors
can help the most difficult cases. Some
can’t.

Then I got to thinking about cars. Some
people are really good at cars. They can
look at a car and know exactly what’s wrong
and then fix it. People like me, are not
good at cars. They can’t even change an
oil the tires or figure out how to
do anything other than drive it.

You would never want someone like me
to fix your car. I am obviously not a
bad person just not good with cars. There
are doctors like this as well. They are
good people but you don’t want them to
work with you or your loved one.

Your goal is to filter, sift and sort
to find who is bad and who is good.
There are just some people like the
car fixing people that have a gift
on working with patients with a mental
illness and they do great work. There
are others and many this is not the
case with.

Hey I have to run. Have a good day and
catch you tomorrow.

Your Friend,

Dave

P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/

P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com

Hi,

How’s it going? Today I am going to quickly
tell you something that took me a really, really
long time to figure out about bipolar disorder.

If you don’t figure it out and you are supporting
someone with bipolar disorder, you will probably
almost go insane and have seriously hard time
being a good caretaker.

Today I was originally going to write something
else in reference to my mom possibly going through
another episode. I will be writing that later on
this week because it’s really important.

But yesterday I had something really strange happen
to me and it goes along with one of these key
concepts with supporting someone with bipolar disorder.

Okay yesterday I had a situation with someone
who works for me in my organization that puts
out all this information on bipolar disorder,
borderline personality disorder, schizophrenia,
etc. I call it the mental health organization
because, today, it’s beyond bipolar.

So anyway this person wanted an increase in her
hourly rate. To make a long story short, I asked
for reasons why, etc. This this organization is
being funded by me and is breaking even, I have
to look at budgets and costs against revenues.

So to make a long story short, later that day
at around 2:00pm or so I think, I get an
email saying the person quit. No notice at
all. Zero.

Then based on what I could see NOTHING that
was suppose to be done was done. I just
shook my head and began to enact my
plan that I had.

I called up a few people that work
for me to formulate a plan on what to do
and who would handle what responsibilities.

Since we all have tons of things to do to
make this entire organization work, we all
would do a few things that this person who
quit did. In the meantime, we would start
a search for a replacement.

NOTE:
This is not a “feel bad for Dave” story there’s
an important lesson to learn about being a
supporter of someone with bipolar disorder.

Also, note, this particular person did NOT
I repeat did NOT have bipolar disorder based
on what I was told.

Okay so by the end of the night, we got it
all worked out and know who is going to be
doing what and figured out all the things
that were not done.

Right now there are still some things not
done but they will be done today.

Well, last night I was talking to my dad
and I told him what happen. He was totally
shocked. He said, “why would she quit like
that?” I said “Dad I have no clue, I am
not going to waste my brain power trying
to figure it out.”

Then I pointed out to him how in the old
days, when my mom was not under the right
treatment plan, and she would say and do
all kinds of things, we would try to figure
out “why.”

Then it hit me. I had to write you a message
about this.

“Why” is deadly in reference to bipolar disorder.

I use to have this happen to me. I would wonder.

Why does my mom scream and yell all the time
Why did she say this or that about me
Why did she say this or that about my dad
Why is she writing mean letters to other family members
Why did she do this or that
Why did she totally mistreat my brother

Then I would spend DAYS thinking about:

Was she mistreated as a kid?
Did I do something wrong?
Did my dad something wrong?
Maybe something happen to her growing up that made
her this way?

So on and so forth.

And then finally one day I figure out that why and
bipolar disorder do NOT go together generally. Once
I stopped asking why I started feeling better.

I accepted that with bipolar disorder, if a person
is not under the right treatment plan, he/she can
say and do anything and there will be no logical
reason why. It’s random. It won’t make sense. You
didn’t cause it. It’s all in their heads not yours.
Etc.

This is a HUGE and I mean HUGE lesson to learn
when supporting someone with bipolar disorder.

I use this outside of bipolar disorder and mental
health as well. For example with the person who
quit. Imagine this:

-You w.ork from home
-You make about a f.ull t.ime income
-You s.et y.our own hours
-You w.ork the days you pretty much want to as long as you
get your work done
-You have lots of challenging things to do so you don’t
get bored

This almost looks like an advertisement but it’s NOT
that’s a description of the job the person had.
Anyway, I didn’t spend any time trying to figure
out why someone would quit a job like this
and give no notice.

My dad on the other hand thought about it probably for
an hour. He asked lots of questions to get to the
“why.” I said “dad, there’s probably no logical why
that we would understand.”

Can you think of one? Even if I am the worst person
in the world to work for and a total nightmare to
deal with, you would give at least one week notice
or three days notice right? So no matter how you look
at it, it doesn’t make any sense.

But this is like when I was dealing with my mom
many things she did and said made no sense. At
first I tried to figure it out. I spent more
time trying to figure out the why then I did
trying to figure out how to help her.

One I changed my focus, I began to help
her much faster.

If you notice in my courses/systems:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

I don’t cover things like the different
reasons someone might have bipolar disorder
or why someone might do this or that. I focus
on solutions to problems people are having.
Many other sites online focus on why this
or that might be the case with bipolar disorder.

Some people spend so much time trying to figure
out the why only to get really really frustrated
and mad. Because when it’s all said and done,
most of the things done by someone who is not
being properly treated with bipolar disorder
can’t be explained. There is no why.

Your Friend,

Dave

P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/

P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com

How are you? Some might find what I am about
to say bad news but I don’t look at it
that way. Here it is. I believe that my
mom is moving toward going into another
bipolar episode.

If you have followed my emails for some time
you may be thinking, “Dave, again? She was
just in an episode like a month ago, what’s
the deal?” Well I don’t make the rules
I just play the game based on the rules
that are given to me.

I do find it rather odd that my mom has
had and I have kind of lost count, I
believe 3 episodes in less than a year.

I have to do some thinking and analysis
to make a decision should I be overly
concerned. I must say that I am increasingly
concerned with the volume of these bipolar
episodes.

You are probably going to be surprised
why. I must say, and I am not saying
this to brag but I know how to be a
supporter so well, I really can handle
most situations from a to z.

I can predict bipolar episodes. If my mom
gets really ill, I know what to do and
when. Even if she refuses treatment,
runs away, won’t leave the house, her
doctor goes off and vanishes, all doctors
in New Jersey vanish, I have a plan for
virtually everything.

And then I have a plan for the “I didn’t
make a plan for this.” I call that the
Doomsday Scenario. So, strangely, I have
a plan for if I didn’t think of something.

Okay but the reason why I am concerned
is because everyone around my mom is
tired of bipolar disorder episodes.

I am too :). I told my mom’s sister
the term “bipolared out” and she laughed
and she said she was bipolared out.

I am worried that my mom will wind up
having very few if not no friends or
possibly family members. Anyway, I don’t
want to make this a “feel bad for Dave’s
mom daily email” because I want to teach
you some stuff so you can become just like
me with knowing how to deal with these things.

Why do I think my mom is going into an a
bipolar disorder episode? Okay, I didn’t
tell you this about a week, I got
a call from my mom and she was talking
fast. She said that my dad was standing and
then passed out. Now my dad is between
280 and 300 pounds so that’s a serious
problem.

I asked why she said she didn’t know and
he was going to the doctor. To make a long
story short, his sugar count or something
connected to his Diabetes was really high
and that’s what did it.

Now, one might think, that my dad’s stress
would cause my mom stress would trigger
a bipolar episode. This is NOT the case.

My mom functions really, really well during
a crisis or major problem. It’s amazing. BUT
each major crisis leads to her doing well
but then ramping up into an episode.

As soon as I heard about my dad my brain said,
“Mom will handle it super well, everyone will
be amazed. People will think everything is good.
This will possibly lead to an episode after
you start believing she is doing great.”

Well after all the tests and stuff and
my dad’s medication being changed and him
having new instructions for what he needs
to do. My mom was doing great. She looked
great and sounded great.

I knew there was probably trouble ahead. 99.9%
of people would have missed this sign. You may
not even understand what the sign is. Reread
what I wrote. Remember this is for MY MOM
not necessarily your loved one. I will have
more points in a second.

Okay then my dad’s brother was rushed to the
hospital like a week later or maybe two
weeks. It’s hard for me to keep track of
all the dates because I have a lot of things
to keep track up. So if you catch me with
dates that are off, I am not trying to pull
one over on you. Bottom line is AFTER my
dad was sick, his brother, my uncle got
sick and went to the hospital.

I got an urgent call from my mom, she
was really worried. To make a long
story short he was in the hospital for
several days and it’s his heart.

He is okay now.

My mom handled it well. BUT now
there are two events. SO in my head
I have a running list of TWO triggers.

So I am vigilant.

Okay now I remember there’s a family get together
in Texas at the end of June and early July.
My mom is all excited about this. She is doing
some planning and calling all different people
all the time.

Third possible trigger. If you have my bipolar
supporter course/system you should remember
that my mom’s first major episode in 2004, started
after going to a family reunion.

So there are three triggers. This is what I am thinking.

Then, I got an email from my mom at 11:15 pm one
day last week. If you have been on my list, what
time does my mom go to bed? NOT 11:15pm right?

Another sign.

Then I learned my mom was watching a soap opera
at 11:00pm the other day.

Another sign.

Then I found out from my dad that my mom skipped
church on Sunday.

Another sign.

Then I forgot to tell you something. I was with
my mom I think it was Saturday and I noticed
she was cleaning the house, cooking and doing
yard work all at the same time. In the past
when she does many things at once and seemingly
well, this is a sign that is bad not a sign
she is super efficient.

So I have all these things in my head. When I
tested my dad to see if he has learned anything
from me, he failed. I said, “Dad how do you think
mom is doing?” He said, “Wow, she is doing great.”

I reminded him of the worksheets I gave him. He looked
at me and said, “What’s wrong?” I didn’t even get into
it with him because I didn’t have the time.

It’s obviously my dad doesn’t have to work to hard
at being a supporter because he just outsources
or delegates it to me which is annoying but
I deal with.

Anyway, these signs are to my mom not necessarily
your loved one. Let me ask you, how many signs
do you see and miss. I must say, these signs
use to be really, really, easy to miss back in
the day. Now I have gotten really good at
this.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

I have to take off for now, I will be sending
more on this this week. I hope you learned something.
If someone taught me how to read the signs
of a bipolar episode I would have saved years on
my life and saved so much money.

Over the week I will tell you how

What my prediction is (how my mom will do
well in Texas)

What I will do

When the episode will most likely happen

What’s the worst case scenario and what I will do

A few other things. This stuff will be sent over
each day over probably the next 7 days.

Your Friend,

Dave

P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/

P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com

Hi,

How are you today? I hope you are doing
well. I am actually getting ready to
head off to the gym today but I was
thinking about something I wanted to
tell you that’s really important.

I was thinking about it because I had
a friend call me and he was really depressed.
Not go and get on medication depressed but
depressed because something happen to him.

He actually has his own business and
he lost a ton of money. Why? Well it’s
because he was given totally bad marketing
advice. He did this campaign that cost
him a ton of money.

Why did he do a campaign that wouldn’t work
and spend so much money? Was it because he
has bipolar disorder? NO. It was because
he didn’t have foundational knowledge and
this is the mistake I see supporters and
those with bipolar disorder make ALL THE
TIME.

Let me explain.

Foundational knowledge is a term I made up,
to describe a base level of knowledge you
need to have when you are dealing with something.

In the case of bipolar disorder if you are
caretaker, there’s foundational knowledge
like

-The importance of medication
-You can’t cure bipolar disorder
-The bipolar stability equation
-There are techniques to deal with a loved one’s
episodes
-People who have bipolar disorder are not possessed
by the devil (sounds crazy but I get asked this a lot)
-When people who have bipolar disorder get into episodes, they
can frivolous spend money and destroy finances
-Not all doctors are good
-Not all therapists are good
-You should shop for a doctor like you shop for a car
-You need to report signs and symptoms to your loved one’s
doctors

so on and so forth. That’s just a short list of foundational
knowledge you need to know.

If you have bipolar disorder, which I don’t, but I know
the list would include:

You need to take medication
You need to keep your stress levels low
Going to the doctor and following his/her treatment plan is
critical
You should not drink or do illegal drugs
You should set up systems to protect your money
Some doctors aren’t good but many are good
You need to shop for a doctor like you would shop for a car
There are different medications for bipolar disorder
Some medications have side effects
You need to work with your doctor not against him/her

so on and so forth. Again this is a short list.

HERE’S THE PROBLEM I SEE

So many people lack this foundation knowledge and
it makes it almost impossible to cope and deal with
bipolar disorder.

What the heck does this have to do with the friend
who lost a lot of money? Well he should have foundational
business knowledge. I won’t go into that list but
he should have known that running a giant ad in a paper,
with no tracking code, with no offer, etc. would cost
him money and it wouldn’t work. This is the basics.
But he didn’t know it.

Now when you look at bipolar disorder, many people don’t
have foundational knowledge or know the basics. For
example, a supporter may think, “I just need to
get my loved one to the doctor and the doctor will
handle everything and the problem is solved.”

My dad use to think like this for about 38 years. For
DECADES. I was just talking to him about it yesterday
and he said what a mistake that was. He just didn’t
know better. But then he told me there was no internet
so that was kind of his excuse :).

With bipolar disorder you have to strive to get
a foundation of knowledge and this makes things
easier and when you are told something that
is wrong you will know it. For example, if
you have solid foundational knowledge and someone
tells you the supporter, bipolar disorder
is not a real illness and your loved one
is faking it, you will have the foundational
knowledge to ignore this ridiculous assertion
and you will not act on the information.

If you have bipolar disorder, your foundational
knowledge includes but is not limited to:
realizing some mediations may have side effects
but there are lots of options and combinations
but it is YOUR JOB to talk to your doctor
about any and all side effects you experience.

Just that little tip can and has helped so many
people. People are always looking for this
gigantic super big technique or secret but
many times, the simple things are the most
powerful.

I will say it again, if you have bipolar
disorder, report ALL side effects to your
doctor and work with him/her on them. So
many people don’t do this is because
they think there is no hope for them.

This is dead wrong. There is hope. You have
to work with your doctor.

If you are a supporter and your loved one is
not totally stable, foundational knowledge tells
you, you should report what you are seeing with
your loved one to his/her doctor. When the doctor
knows what’s going on, he/she can make a better
treatment plan.

The more foundational knowledge you have
the LESS susceptible you are to totally
stupid and ridiculous things you may
hear related to bipolar disorder. And there’s
tons of them out there.

This a powerful concept even though it’s simple.
I’ve gotten a few emails well about 20 from
people saying my stuff is too simple in my
emails. I don’t
know. There’s a lot of good information I think
and I work hard at it. Today’s is really important
and I hope it made sense to you.

LAST NOTE
I will say one last thing. I actually wasn’t but
I decided to and since this is my newsletter
I guess I can 🙂

The one thing that I do not feel is important
for sure is:

trying to figure out why someone has bipolar
disorder

trying to figure out how medications work and
why

These are two areas people love to focus on
and it’s not helpful. It wastes a lot of time
in my opinion.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

Okay with that said, I have to run. Have a good
day.

Your Friend,

Dave

P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/

P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com

Hi,

How are you? I must say, this past week
has been a tough one. I have had all kinds
of problems managing the growth of this
mental health organization. BUT I was
able to come up with a complete plan.

I have actually learned a number of things
that I am going to share with you in the next
week that come from my experience this
previous week learning how to manage
all the growth of this organization
that helps people who are supporting
people with bipolar disorder and those
with the disorder.

Today however I want to address something
that I saw on a blog post recently.

Someone indicated that I had two different
websites–one related to bipolar disorder
and one related to borderline personality
disorder. This person had said that it
was “disingenuous.”

If you don’t know what
that word means like I didn’t when
I was in school, I will save you the
trip to the dictionary:

dis·in·gen·u·ous adj.
Pronunciation Key: (dĭs’ĭn-jěn’yōō-əs)

Not straightforward or candid; insincere or
calculating: “an ambitious, disingenuous,
philistine, and hypocritical operator, who
… exemplified … the most disagreeable
traits of his time” (David Cannadine).

Since I can’t talk to this person on
my blog, I think what he or maybe it’s a
she is saying is, “Hey you have two
websites about mental illnesses. What
does your mom have one or the other?
Why do you have two websites? Seems like
you are a liar.” That type of thing.

First let me tell you a couple of things.
I find it kind of funny when people think
they have “caught” me doing something.

I think it’s funny because some people
are focused on trying to catch me
or prove I am a scam. I will say this,
if I was running a scam, I am the dumbest
person in the world. I spend a ton
of time on this, get all kinds of phone
calls, people know all my numbers, I now
bump into subscribers when I am out and
about (which is really cool and I like),
and people send me tons and tons of mail
I have to read and decipher.

Okay with that said let me tell you a
few more things.

First my mom probably has borderline
personality disorder as well. She thinks
so. Her therapist thinks so and her
doctor but everyone but my mom feels
she doesn’t need any new labels.

My mom actually wanted a new label
but the doctor and therapist overrode
her. I tend to agree with them and
so does my dad. My mom is okay with
their decision.

I have known this for about 2 years
but not said much about it. I did
bring it up as I transitioned my
dad into more of an active role supporting
my mom. I did so at a therapy session
with my dad, myself and my mom’s therapist.
NOTE: My mom agreed to this arrangement
and there was no violation of privacy.
How did I get her to agree? A long story
for another day. If you have my course
it’s one of the 21 ways to get someone into
treatment.

Okay so back to the story. The therapist
had mentioned that she thought my mom
had borderline personality disorder.
I said, “Yes I thought so to.” And then
she quickly said how my mom doesn’t need
any more labels right now.

I remember looking at my dad. His chin
hit the floor practically. He had a look
of panic. He didn’t say anything. After
the session he said, “Oh geeze, she has
another something else. We have to go
out and research all of this. Do you
have any time???”

First a few things are funny. At this point
I had a complete guide to supporting
someone with borderline personality disorder
already for like a year. If you are
interested, it’s here:
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/report1

Then I said, “Oh dad, I already know
all about borderline personality disorder.”

He was all excited because he thought it
would take a couple of years to figure out
how to support my mom with her “new” disorder.

I said, “Dad, it’s all okay. We already know
what mom is like and there are no new techniques
we need to learn. The current techniques we
have and system we have will work for
her if she has borderline personality disorder
and/or bipolar disorder.”

Then I said to my dad, “Dad, don’t get too
caught up in names and labels and feel
like you don’t know what to do because you
do.”

He said to me, “Yea. You are right and
you know how those drug companies are,
always making new names to sell more
drugs.”

I am not sure if I believe that but
my dad sure thinks so :).

Anyway, I don’t make a big deal about
my mom’s borderline personality disorder
or the suggestion that she has another
personality disorder. I know what my mom
is like and have a plan based on that.
Names and labels don’t mean a whole
lot to me.

I talk to a number of people who get
all caught up in the diagnosis merry
go round.

Your loved one is bipolar 1 one day. Then
bipolar 2. Then you read about rapid
cycling and your loved one has that.

Then you see another term and you ask, “Does
he/she have this?”

Then all of a sudden your loved one gets
another diagnosis like borderline personality
disorder. Then they are not sure. Then they
say well maybe. Or maybe it’s schizo affective
disorder. Then you hear it’s two personality
disorders.

I talk to people that are going around
and around getting all stressed out on which
techniques they have to learn to be a good
supporter when all the names and diagnoses
change.

NOTE-I am NOT a doctor, therapist or lawyer
and I don’t play one on TV. I don’t offer
any medical or professional advice. Please
be cautious when reading any of my information
and check it all with your doctor, therapist,
attorney and all other professionals that offer
professional advice.

Okay with that said, I focus on my mom as a
whole person and work my strategies off of
that. I personally don’t get bogged down
in if my mom has bipolar 1, or bipolar 2
or this and that. I know in my head
what traits my mom has and I use
strategies based on what I know she is
like.

I hope this makes sense. It might be confusing.
I hope not. I just feel bad when people
feel like they have to keep learning all these
new techniques when a loved one goes from let’s
say bipolar 1 to bipolar 2.

In some cases you do have to learn some extra
things. In the case of borderline personality
disorder, there are a couple of important
strategies to learn that probably aren’t necessary
for bipolar disorder. I taught my dad a couple
and it’s really helped out.

Anyway I have to run now. I hope this has been
helpful. Someone wrote me yesterday that I am
way too wordy. Which I probably am but I am
not a professional writer and I just try to
get the information out as best that I can.

I don’t have a team of editors with my daily
emails. All my other material like articles,
guides and manuals are edited and reviewed
many times but with these daily emails, I send
them out first thing in the morning and they
are real and live. I edit as best I can. Forgive
me for wordiness, typos, etc. I try to do
my best but I am really a math and econ person.

If you are interested in any of my courses
or systems:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

Have a great day today. Do something
fun if you can. I have to work today
but I like what I do so it’s going
to be fun 🙂

Your Friend,

Dave

P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/

P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com

Here is the current Bipolar Disorder news.

http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews328

There’s some really interesting news stories this week.

Take a look at them. Also, write me some feedback
by visiting my blog below.

Here are some of the headlines:

Bipolar ex-cop in SLO shootout leaves mental hospital

Milford man faces assault charges against two officers

Treatment Adherence With Lithium and Anticonvulsant Medications …

Overview of Mixed Depression in Italy

Recall Of Counterfeit Zyprexa Batches, UK

For these stories and more, please visit:

http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews328

My Resources For Bipolar:

Quickly And Easily Explain Bipolar To People
Go here for more information.
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/explainingbipolar

Need Money Because Of Bipolar Disorder?
Go here for more information
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarbusiness

Dating Someone With Bipolar?
Go here for more information
http://www.BipolarCentral.com/bipolardating

Want To Marry Someone Who Has Bipolar?
Go here for more information
http://www.BipolarCentral.com/bipolarmarriage/

Need Affordable Health Insurance When Dealing With Bipolar Disorder?
Go here for more information
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/insuranceguide/

Problems With Drugs, Alcohol And Addiction?
Go here for more information
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolaraddiction/

Trying To PREVENT A Divorce From Someone With Bipolar Disorder?
Go here for more information:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolardivorce

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

How are you?

I just got back and I am dead tired.
Remember I was at that conference. Anyway,
it went really well. I will write you some
things that I learned that will be useful
to you after I review my notes.

In the meantime, I have any important
lesson to tell you about bipolar disorder.

Last night I was checking my voicemail
and I had dozens of messages. Just hearing
you have 31 new messages is enough to make
you want to run away :).

So I took at my message taking note book
so I could record who called and what time
and what the message was.

The first one was Jim from Chrysler Dodge
trying to get me to change me oil.

But message number two was a huge problem.

It was a 8 minute and 23 second message
from someone who’s loved one has
bipolar disorder. I could barely
hear the person but it was an incredibly
long and painful monologue about how
this person’s spouse has created all
these problems and is destroying her
life. She mentioned a number of
things that he did wrong and were
problematic.

I must say it was painful. Part of me
just wanted to delete the message because
after 7 minutes I didn’t even know what
the question was or how long it would
go on.

Finally the message ended and the person
said, “Help me” and left her phone number.

I was amazed.

Then I went to message number 3. You’re
not going to believe this. It was a totally
different person supporting a loved one with
bipolar disorder. This message was 6 minutes.

BIPOLAR LESSON COMING SOON… HANG IN THERE

Then I went to message 4 and it was someone
who was supporting a child with bipolar disorder.
This message was the longest I think ever 12 minutes
long. It was seriously a long message. If you
looked up long message in the dictionary that
message should be transcribed.

It ended with “help me” and a phone number.

I was so tired I simply gave up with dealing
with voice messages for the night.

Then I got to thinking about exactly what
I did when I was first supporting my mom
with bipolar disorder. If you remember I
had no clue at all what to do.

So I made a plan. I called already and
I asked specific questions and listened
to what people had to say. Most people
had no idea what to do because I was
asking the wrong people. BUT when I found
the right person for a specific problem
that I was dealing with, I asked
specific questions and I got specific
answers. AND I took notes as well. And
then I let the person go quickly.

I always followed with, would you mind
if I had another quick concise question,
I give you a call? The person in every
case said yes.

Now after I thought about all of this,
my past experience and the 3 messages I
got dealing with bipolar disorder. NOTE
I don’t even know if I have 25 more like
this. It’s going to be a long day probably.

Thank God I have a new woman that I hired
taking over these messages. There are just
too many and it’s killing my ability to run
all my businesses.

Anyway, back to what I was saying. So,
there is a huge problem that I see
people who have bipolar disorder AND people
who are supporting people with bipolar disorder
make.

That’s the long rambling non specific I need
help story.

Are you thinking, “Dave, what the heck is that?”
If you are new to the list, you might be thinking,
“This guy’s emails are really strange and he writes
weird, maybe he’s crazy…but I will keep reading
because I think he might have a good point.”

I do have a good point. Here it is. If you look
at everyone who can help you with bipolar disorder,
doctors, therapists, insurance people, other
supporters, employment specialists, myself,
so on and so forth, we all have one thing in
common–we only have so many hours each day.

The doctor has 24 hours in a day. The insurance
person has the same. I have the same. Everyone
has the same.

In addition, many people want to help people.
They really do. BUT the problem is, there are
generally lots of other people that need
help as well and all asking. What do you do?

Well here is what you do, you drop the long
sad rambling story (sorry to be blunt), because
anyone in this field has heard it probably between
200 and 5000 times. I personally can honestly
say that I have heard the same stories at least 2000
times.

You might think that I am crazy or making this
number up. Keep in mind that I volunteer at
3 bipolar disorder support groups, I have a
huge list, I take my own calls, read my own
mail, take orders for my courses/systems over
the phone and have been doing this for 2 years.

At first I use to feel bad when I would try
to speed people along to get to the question
or specific problem and avoid the story.

But then after I have burned up so much of my
time it’s a requirement. I will not listen to
really long sad stories. I get to the bottom
line. If you have been on the phone with me
for one of my f.ree consultation certificates
for NON medical and NON legal questions (because
I am not a doctor, therapist, lawyer, insurance
person, etc.) you know that I constantly ask, “
What’s your biggest problem?” And I strive
to get you back on track.

Some people might think this is mean but I have
to do it, other wise I will go insane and broke.
How? Well I will start to hear the same stories
over and over again because for the most part
bipolar disorder runs a certain course. Generally
speaking the stories are almost the same.

They go like this, “my loved one is such a
great person and so smart. Really smart. But
then when he/she is off it’s a nightmare. They
are like a different person. They did and I couldn’t believe it
they never would have ever done things like
this unless they were off.

They spent and we are really
mad. It’s destroyed us. I can’t take it any
more”

I have personally heard this type of story at least
2000 times.

WARNING

Here’s the problem. You have to get specific. I know
that a lot of this is painful and you need someone
to vent to and there are people for that. But many
people that can help you have limited time
and we are dealing with many other people. ESPECIALLY
the doctors they have super limited time so you
have to get really specific with them to maximize what
they can do for you.

If you notice in my courses and systems I talk
about a way to get extra time for doctors/therapists.
It involves using a note book, email, phone calls,
etc.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com/

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net/

To make a long story short, you make your
questions before the appointment, make them
super clear and then give them to the doctor
before the appointment. It’s more complicated
than that but I don’t have time to write it
all out. NO I am not trying to force you to
buy my courses/systems I am just making a point.

Anyway, the other day I sent a email out
about making a list of the problems that you have
and being specific.

There are so many people on my list that
do NOT have a specific list for problems
they have. Each time they ask anyone
for help, they start with a really, really
long story and that makes people not want
to help because they have limited time
and don’t want to get trapped having to
hear a 1 hour story.

Anyway, people wrote me back about my daily
email about making a specific list of problems
as “too simple” and so wanted to know
when I was going to send “the good stuff.”

That is the good stuff. RIGHT NOW I want
you to make a list of your problems and what
you specifically need help with. I don’t
want you to go to doctors, therapists,
finance people, hospitals, etc being
a rambler.

Let others be the rambler. I want you
to stand out and be the person
that has specific questions that
you need help with.

The more specific you get, the better
the response you will get.

Then you won’t feel so frustrated all
the time.

Well I have to go now. I hope all this
made sense. A lot of this is hard
to write about but easy to talk about
but since I don’t own my own radio
show, I can’t talk about it.

It’s all in my courses however if you
are interested. Well write me some feedback
if you understand what I was trying to say
today.

Wish me luck on my probably now 40 voice
mail messages.

Your Friend,

Dave

P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/

P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com/

Hi,

I am still at my seminar but wanted to
email you part two of the series about
how to get help when you have trouble
with bipolar disorder–whether you
are a supporter or a person with
the illness.

If you didn’t read this part, please
check out:

http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/2007/05/bipolar-disorder-lesson-have-you-ever.html

Okay, the next part of making a list of
your problems is to rank them in order
of importance and then here comes
the really important part.

You go somewhere where you can
think. I suggest, park, friend’s
house, library, etc.

Once you are there, you take the most
pressing problem
and then put it on a blank sheet of
paper.

Then you brainstorm EVERY possible
solution you have to the problem
really, really fast. There is no thinking
you just write. Some things you might
write might be crazy so to speak.

Just write it all out really fast.

Then after about 15 minutes or
so review your ideas. Then group
them. You will start to see some
possible viable solutions to
your problems.

Then if you find that you don’t have
any solutions, review your most pressing
problems each morning. And then you will
find people, places or things that you
seem to come in contact with that
can help you. Once you find something
that can help, take action and move
forward to solve the problem.

That’s it. This is exactly how I did
it for my mom and other areas in
my life.

Well I have to take off because
I am at that seminar, catch you tomorrow.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com/

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net/

Your Friend,

Dave

P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/

P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com/