Hi,

How are you? I must say, this past week
has been a tough one. I have had all kinds
of problems managing the growth of this
mental health organization. BUT I was
able to come up with a complete plan.

I have actually learned a number of things
that I am going to share with you in the next
week that come from my experience this
previous week learning how to manage
all the growth of this organization
that helps people who are supporting
people with bipolar disorder and those
with the disorder.

Today however I want to address something
that I saw on a blog post recently.

Someone indicated that I had two different
websites–one related to bipolar disorder
and one related to borderline personality
disorder. This person had said that it
was “disingenuous.”

If you don’t know what
that word means like I didn’t when
I was in school, I will save you the
trip to the dictionary:

dis·in·gen·u·ous adj.
Pronunciation Key: (dĭs’ĭn-jěn’yōō-əs)

Not straightforward or candid; insincere or
calculating: “an ambitious, disingenuous,
philistine, and hypocritical operator, who
… exemplified … the most disagreeable
traits of his time” (David Cannadine).

Since I can’t talk to this person on
my blog, I think what he or maybe it’s a
she is saying is, “Hey you have two
websites about mental illnesses. What
does your mom have one or the other?
Why do you have two websites? Seems like
you are a liar.” That type of thing.

First let me tell you a couple of things.
I find it kind of funny when people think
they have “caught” me doing something.

I think it’s funny because some people
are focused on trying to catch me
or prove I am a scam. I will say this,
if I was running a scam, I am the dumbest
person in the world. I spend a ton
of time on this, get all kinds of phone
calls, people know all my numbers, I now
bump into subscribers when I am out and
about (which is really cool and I like),
and people send me tons and tons of mail
I have to read and decipher.

Okay with that said let me tell you a
few more things.

First my mom probably has borderline
personality disorder as well. She thinks
so. Her therapist thinks so and her
doctor but everyone but my mom feels
she doesn’t need any new labels.

My mom actually wanted a new label
but the doctor and therapist overrode
her. I tend to agree with them and
so does my dad. My mom is okay with
their decision.

I have known this for about 2 years
but not said much about it. I did
bring it up as I transitioned my
dad into more of an active role supporting
my mom. I did so at a therapy session
with my dad, myself and my mom’s therapist.
NOTE: My mom agreed to this arrangement
and there was no violation of privacy.
How did I get her to agree? A long story
for another day. If you have my course
it’s one of the 21 ways to get someone into
treatment.

Okay so back to the story. The therapist
had mentioned that she thought my mom
had borderline personality disorder.
I said, “Yes I thought so to.” And then
she quickly said how my mom doesn’t need
any more labels right now.

I remember looking at my dad. His chin
hit the floor practically. He had a look
of panic. He didn’t say anything. After
the session he said, “Oh geeze, she has
another something else. We have to go
out and research all of this. Do you
have any time???”

First a few things are funny. At this point
I had a complete guide to supporting
someone with borderline personality disorder
already for like a year. If you are
interested, it’s here:
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/report1

Then I said, “Oh dad, I already know
all about borderline personality disorder.”

He was all excited because he thought it
would take a couple of years to figure out
how to support my mom with her “new” disorder.

I said, “Dad, it’s all okay. We already know
what mom is like and there are no new techniques
we need to learn. The current techniques we
have and system we have will work for
her if she has borderline personality disorder
and/or bipolar disorder.”

Then I said to my dad, “Dad, don’t get too
caught up in names and labels and feel
like you don’t know what to do because you
do.”

He said to me, “Yea. You are right and
you know how those drug companies are,
always making new names to sell more
drugs.”

I am not sure if I believe that but
my dad sure thinks so :).

Anyway, I don’t make a big deal about
my mom’s borderline personality disorder
or the suggestion that she has another
personality disorder. I know what my mom
is like and have a plan based on that.
Names and labels don’t mean a whole
lot to me.

I talk to a number of people who get
all caught up in the diagnosis merry
go round.

Your loved one is bipolar 1 one day. Then
bipolar 2. Then you read about rapid
cycling and your loved one has that.

Then you see another term and you ask, “Does
he/she have this?”

Then all of a sudden your loved one gets
another diagnosis like borderline personality
disorder. Then they are not sure. Then they
say well maybe. Or maybe it’s schizo affective
disorder. Then you hear it’s two personality
disorders.

I talk to people that are going around
and around getting all stressed out on which
techniques they have to learn to be a good
supporter when all the names and diagnoses
change.

NOTE-I am NOT a doctor, therapist or lawyer
and I don’t play one on TV. I don’t offer
any medical or professional advice. Please
be cautious when reading any of my information
and check it all with your doctor, therapist,
attorney and all other professionals that offer
professional advice.

Okay with that said, I focus on my mom as a
whole person and work my strategies off of
that. I personally don’t get bogged down
in if my mom has bipolar 1, or bipolar 2
or this and that. I know in my head
what traits my mom has and I use
strategies based on what I know she is
like.

I hope this makes sense. It might be confusing.
I hope not. I just feel bad when people
feel like they have to keep learning all these
new techniques when a loved one goes from let’s
say bipolar 1 to bipolar 2.

In some cases you do have to learn some extra
things. In the case of borderline personality
disorder, there are a couple of important
strategies to learn that probably aren’t necessary
for bipolar disorder. I taught my dad a couple
and it’s really helped out.

Anyway I have to run now. I hope this has been
helpful. Someone wrote me yesterday that I am
way too wordy. Which I probably am but I am
not a professional writer and I just try to
get the information out as best that I can.

I don’t have a team of editors with my daily
emails. All my other material like articles,
guides and manuals are edited and reviewed
many times but with these daily emails, I send
them out first thing in the morning and they
are real and live. I edit as best I can. Forgive
me for wordiness, typos, etc. I try to do
my best but I am really a math and econ person.

If you are interested in any of my courses
or systems:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

Have a great day today. Do something
fun if you can. I have to work today
but I like what I do so it’s going
to be fun 🙂

Your Friend,

Dave

P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/

P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com