Bipolar Supporter Blog

Hi,

How are things going for you today?

I hope you have a great day!

I got this email from a supporter the other day:

“Dave, I thought I was a good supporter,
and I try to do the things you tell me to do in
your emails, but my husband keeps going into
episodes anyway. When I try to help him, he
just gets mad at me, and we end up fighting.
I think I’m doing the right things, but he won’t
even listen to me. I’m so sad and frustrated.
I just don’t know what else to do. I know it’s
all my fault. I must be the worst supporter
in the world. Deborah”
——————————————————-

I’ve gotten many emails like this from supporters just like Deborah.

Now, I’m not a therapist, psychologist, psychiatrist, or anyone like that, but I now how she feels,
because I went through it with my mom.

I experienced all those feelings, too, and I didn’t know what to do.

Until I developed my courses/systems, other supporters didn’t know what to do, either:

NEW
LEARN THE SECRETS OF THE MOST SUCCESSFUL WITH
BIPOLAR DISORDER?
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/bipolarmastersystem/

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

But let me address Deborah’s email directly, since so many supporters are going through
the same thing.

The biggest thing I sense is GUILT.

And that is very common.

And what I have to say to that is:

IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!

You could be the ace, #1, absolutely BEST supporter in the world, but if your loved one refuses to do what they’re supposed to do for their OWN stability, then nothing you do is going to change that.

Again, it is NOT your fault. It has nothing to do with you.

It is THEIR problem, and not yours.

Now, Deborah says that she follows what I say in my emails for supporters.

But I also write emails for people who have bipolar disorder.

And if her husband was doing what I told him to do in my emails to him, he would be listening to her, he would be doing what he needs to be stable, he wouldn’t be fighting with her, and he
sure wouldn’t be going into episodes, now would he?

It sounds like Deborah is trying to do the right things.

She is trying to help her husband.

She is trying to be supportive.

She is trying to get her husband to do the things he should do to stay stable.

But you can’t force someone to do something that they don’t want to do.

That’s where her frustration and sadness are coming from.

But here’s the most important thing (and I hear this from so many supporters):

Deborah is BLAMING herself for her husband’s bad bipolar behavior and lack of stability.

You can tell, when she says, “It’s all my fault.”

Well, I’m not a psychologist or psychiatrist, but it sure doesn’t seem like it to me!

It seems to me like she’s trying everything she can to be supportive to her husband.

How is it her fault that he won’t listen to her and won’t let her help him?

He is an adult, and makes his own choices. He can choose to let her help him or not. He can choose to listen to her or not. He can choose to be stable or not.

It is NOT her fault if he makes the wrong choices.

“I must be the worst supporter in the world,” she says.

But the very fact that she reached out to me and sent me that email proves that she isn’t!

The fact that she is asking for help for her and her husband proves that she isn’t!

Have you ever felt that way?

Maybe you’re even in the same situation that Deborah’s in right now.

What would you say to Deborah?

What do you think she should do?

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

How’s it going today?

You know, I got lucky.

I’ll tell you how.

I have a laptop computer, but I didn’t have the best back up in the world with my laptop.

Then my computer stopped working.

I was in trouble.

Luckily I was able to back the computer up before it crashed. Next time I might not be so lucky. (Shame on me.)

In the computer world, it’s called having a back up system.

In the “real” world, it’s called “Plan A” and “Plan B.”

Whichever way you want to look at it, you need back up plans, systems, and strategies for what you do.

In my courses/systems, I talk about having plans, systems, and strategies that you can use to manage bipolar disorder:
NEW
LEARN THE SECRETS OF THE MOST SUCCESSFUL WITH
BIPOLAR DISORDER?
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/bipolarmastersystem/
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
If you use plans, systems, and strategies with managing your bipolar disorder, you still always have to have a “Plan B.”

With bipolar disorder, anyone can go into an episode at any time, so you need to be prepared.

What should your supporters do?

Do you have a medical release for your supporters?

Have financial systems?

What happens if you lose your medical insurance?

Etc.

Don’t think it can’t happen to you, because it can.

And has happened to others with bipolar disorder and their supporters.

Those that had a Plan B did well.

Those that didn’t, had problems.

For example, scroll down to hear Norma’s story:

George and Norma were married. They didn’t have any money problems, so George had no reason to think that there would be any problem (thus, no Plan B).

But Norma did have bipolar disorder, and one day she went into a bipolar manic episode.

She went on an excessive spending spree, giving no thought to the consequences.

Norma cleaned out their checking account, and maxed out all their credit cards.

Now, if they’d had a Plan B, it might have gone something like this: (Scroll down)

Financial Plan for George and Norma:

1. Have George hold onto the
checkbook.

2. Don’t let Norma hold any of the
credit cards.

3. Limit the amount of credit cards
that George holds down to only
1 (or 2 at most), only for emergencies.

4. Limit the amount of cash that Norma
has access to.

Many people with bipolar disorder and their supporters have learned to follow this financial plan and have become very successful with it.

What about you?

Have you learned to have a Plan B in your life?

Has it worked?

I love to hear success stories.

Write it on here, and it might even get posted in one of my emails!

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

How’s it going?

I hope you’re doing well.

Today I want to talk about spirituality and bipolar disorder.

Now, I don’t mean any specific type of religion or anything (that could get me into trouble!) 

But just spirituality in general.

Spirituality can be a big help to you when you’re dealing with a loved one who has bipolar disorder.

Sometimes, when you’ve exhausted all other means of dealing with your loved one’s bipolar disorder, the only left for you to do is pray (or do some other form of spiritual practice).

You can’t change your loved one.

You can’t change their behavior (as much as you would like to sometimes).

What has worked for many people in the same situation as you are in is some type of spirituality.

In my courses/systems, I talk about different coping techniques when dealing with a loved one with bipolar disorder:

NEW
LEARN THE SECRETS OF THE MOST SUCCESSFUL WITH
BIPOLAR DISORDER?
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/bipolarmastersystem/

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
Spirituality is a coping technique for many supporters.

Many people don’t like to think that they’re alone in this fight against bipolar disorder.

So it might not be praying in the traditional sense, but like meditation may be a form of coping technique you might use.

This is considered a type of spirituality for some people.

And not religious, see what I’m talking about? (I’m not in trouble yet, am I? )

But, yes, some people who have bipolar disorder do practice some form of spirituality to keep themselves stable, even if it’s only to read something inspirational each day.

Supporters do the same thing as well.

You don’t necessarily have to go to a religious building to be spiritual.

But just some form of spirituality – whether it’s praying, meditating, tai chi, or whatever – can keep you balanced in your self, and make it easier to deal with your loved one.

Some people use candles to help them practice their way of meditating. Others use just a dim light. Either way, it helps them relax, and get in touch with their spiritual side.

Some people will meditate, or deeply relax, by using soft music, as a way of getting in touch with their spiritual side.

And, yes, some people do stick to the traditional ways of practicing spirituality.

The point is, however you or your loved one does it, you need to have balance in your life in order to be healthy in all ways.

You have to be as balanced emotionally as you are physically.

And you should be just as balanced spiritually, because it will help to keep your stress levels down.

This is just as important for a supporter as it is for someone with bipolar disorder.

You have to take care of your inner self so that you can cope with what’s happening in your outer world.

I don’t mean to get so deep on you, but this is just another way I would encourage you to take care of yourself.

You need to take care of yourself physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, so you can be a good supporter to your loved one with bipolar disorder.

Do you agree with me?

Or do you believe that you can be balanced without spirituality in your life?

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

Happy Easter if you celebrate it.

I hope you’re having a good day.

I was talking to someone yesterday about the days when I use to own a landscape business. This was when I was really young.

I was telling the person how we had a lot of jobs for pruning bushes.

Actually when I grew up, but I used to live in a neighborhood where we had this neighbor who was always pruning their bushes!

Every time I turned around, there they were, pruning their bushes!

I couldn’t understand it, because I mowed lawns, and you didn’t need to do that all the time.

But it seemed to me like this neighbor was pruning their bushes even when they didn’t seem to need it!

The reason why I thought of the neighbor was because I was talking to the person about my landscape business.

Who knows how I think : )

But I do know what it has to do with bipolar disorder.

Pruning…

You do need to “prune back the bush” when you’re dealing with bipolar disorder.

You need to keep what works for you and get rid of what doesn’t work.

For example, I heard someone talking at support group that at one time part of her treatment was massage therapy, but she doesn’t do that any more because it stopped working for her.

See what I’m talking about?

She “pruned back” on her massage therapy.

You might be doing something like that –

Say, doing some form of exercise that you’re enjoying today, but you might want to try a different form of exercise tomorrow, so you would “prune back” on the exercise you’re doing now.

Or (if you live someplace like I do, where the snow won’t go away!) it may be too cold to go outside and walk so you’re doing some inside form of exercise now, you may prune back that winter exercise in favor of walking
outside come Spring.

What if you’re not eating right?

You might want to prune back on some of the wrong foods you’re eating in favor of a more healthy diet.

If you’re watching too much TV, you might want to prune back some of that time to do some more productive things (notice I only said “some” of that time – you still need some time to relax
as part of your routine – I’m not saying all TV is necessarily bad).

If you’re sleeping too much, you might want to prune back some of that time and get out of bed more and do more things.

BUT…

There is one thing you should NEVER…

EVER…

…prune back on…

And that is your medications.

You should ALWAYS continue to take your medications, EVERY DAY, as prescribed by your doctor or psychiatrist.

If you don’t, you won’t get better and/or continue to be stable with your bipolar disorder.

People who go off their medications or don’t take their medications run a fatal risk. And I know I talk about this in my courses/systems, and I know I’m always preaching about this, but it really is that important for you to know this information!
NEW
LEARN THE SECRETS OF THE MOST SUCCESSFUL WITH
BIPOLAR DISORDER?
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/bipolarmastersystem/

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
You can prune back on a lot of things, but NEVER prune back on your medications – they just might be saving your life!

If you’re seeing your therapist every single week, but feel as if you might be ready to go to an every other week basis, and your therapist feels the same way, you can prune back your visits a little bit.

If there are things that stress you, those are things that you should prune back on.
If there are certain situations that make you nervous or anxious, those situations you should prune back on being in.

Take a lesson from my old neighbor who pruned their bushes.

Prune away the things you don’t need, and keep the things that help you get better.

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

How’s it going?

You can see these days there is a total mess on Wall Street.

In this daily email I can’t fully explain what happens but I know one thing that provides a very interesting lesson for bipolar disorder.

Basically, you had physicists, a few people from NASA, literarily rocket scientists and super smart mathematicians making a formula that laid the foundation on something that became Mortgage Backed Securities.

These are complex investments that are large pools of mortgages.

(If you are bored, don’t worry – keep reading, there is a lesson coming.)

Anyway, these people attempted to develop an equation that would determine exactly how much money could be made from these Mortgage Backed Securities and what return could be produced.

Now you would think that the people I just listed would be right all the time, right?

That they are super smart? I mean some were rocket scientists!

Well they got it WRONG.

WAY WRONG.

This created the problems that exist today.

On Wall Street, people assumed that these super smart people could NOT be wrong and took what they said as the Gospel.

I see this with people dealing with mental health.

People don’t question doctors, therapists and hospitals

Here’s an example:

My mom’s major episode in 2004 was the result of her doctor taking her off her medication and he never could tell why he did this.

My mom went off her medication following doctors orders even though this made no sense and he gave her no plan to follow.

My mom should have questioned the doctor, just like people should have questioned these supposedly super smart people on Wall Street.

You need information to question, like what’s in my courses.

NEW
LEARN THE SECRETS OF THE MOST SUCCESSFUL WITH
BIPOLAR DISORDER?
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/bipolarmastersystem/

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
These days you hear about people losing their homes all because they trusted mortgage companies who told them what to do.

They trusted the mortgage company, because they thought the mortgage company was way smarter than they were.

They made a bad decision that put them into more debt than they can handle now, and then they end up losing their home.

Usually because they never read the small print, or there was a balloon payment that the mortgage company may have told them about, but went over so fast that they never heard it, and now it’s due.

All this money due at one time, and they can’t afford it now.

That sort of thing.

People are falling for supposedly super smart people who tell them what to do and they believe them, because they think they are smarter than they are.

Now look at bipolar disorder.

People who have bipolar disorder are some of the most intelligent people in the world.

And they know that there is NOT a cure for the disorder at this time.

Then why are they falling for all these scams (especially on the Internet) that tell them that there are “natural” cures or “miracle” cures for bipolar disorder?

Especially when they are smarter than these scam artists?

You have to watch out for these people!

Take a lesson from Wall Street.

And don’t fall for bipolar scams.

What do you think?

Have you ever ended up in a bad situation (like my mom) just because you listened to someone you thought was smarter than you are?

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

PLEASE FORWARD TO YOUR FRIENDS

Hi,

How are you?

I hope you are doing well.

Here is today’s news.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews425

Suicide Survivor Shares Message of New Hope, Life
DO> Sad article, but please review

Fashion Show to Increase Awareness and Support of Bipolar Disorder
DO> Wow, this is a great idea.

Most Psychiatrists Who Wrote Clinical Guidelines Had Financial Ties To Drug Companies, Study Shows
DO> WOW, what do you think of this?

Neuroimaging Study Reveals Heightened Emotional Reactivity in Children with Bipolar
DO> This is an interesting concept.

Hospitals Settle Psychiatric Patient Dumping Case
DO> Wow, what do you think?

Terrible Toll of Mental Illness
DO> Very good article.

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews425

==>Help with ALL aspects of bipolar disorder<<==

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

How’s it going?

I was reading a book the other day that talked about how most people expect bad things to happen.

(I think that’s sad, but unfortunately, I also think it’s probably true.)

The author said, “Why not expect a miracle?”

He went on to give examples of how when people do good things good things happen out of the blue.

Well, I’m proposing that the same thing can happen with bipolar disorder.

You can still expect a miracle.

For example, if you’re having trouble finding a doctor to help you, you might not know if it’s the very next doctor who will help you.

You just can’t give up.

You can still expect a miracle.

If you’re having trouble finding a therapist, same thing.

You might turn around, and the very next therapist you look for might be the perfect one for you or your loved one!

You might not have health insurance, but then you find other ways to get the financial help you need.

You might not know what medication will help you or your loved one, but you can trust your doctor or psychiatrist, and there it is!

I had all these things going against me and way more when I was helping my mom.

But I expected a miracle. I expected it
would work out.

And strangely enough, things started to happen.

I would have this problem and then all of a sudden something would come up that would help me solve the problem.

BUT, you can’t always just be sitting around waiting for a bipolar miracle…

You also have to be trying to do things, and that is when the miracle can happen.

You can short cut this by making investments in information.

Or you can look into other people’s information.

This helps the miracle happen faster.

You can even look into my information on my courses/systems on bipolar disorder:

NEW
LEARN THE SECRETS OF THE MOST SUCCESSFUL WITH
BIPOLAR DISORDER?
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/bipolarmastersystem/

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
But that’s only the first step.

Information.

After you get information, whether it’s on the disorder itself, or on financial options, medications, or whatever…

You need to apply the information.

You can’t expect your bipolar miracle to happen by itself.

I know they say that miracles happen, but they also say that “[Higher Power] helps those who help themselves.”

Sometimes miracles happen by themselves.

But sometimes you have to do the legwork, remember?

So after you apply the information, you have to develop plans and systems, like I did for my mom, only you have to develop ones that work for you.

Like, say you’re having problems with your medication (like side effects), well a miracle would be that all of a sudden you wouldn’t have any problems with the side effects of your medication
at all.

Or you can develop a way to deal with your medication side effects, and you also wouldn’t have to deal with them at all, either.

See, you’re sort of “helping” your miracle happen!

Whether it’s a miracle or not, the main thing is that you get your bipolar disorder under control.

Have you had any miracles happen to you?

People love hearing about miracles.

I might even publish it on here if you share it!