Hi,
How’s it going today?
You know, I got lucky.
I’ll tell you how.
I have a laptop computer, but I didn’t have the best back up in the world with my laptop.
Then my computer stopped working.
I was in trouble.
Luckily I was able to back the computer up before it crashed. Next time I might not be so lucky. (Shame on me.)
In the computer world, it’s called having a back up system.
In the “real” world, it’s called “Plan A” and “Plan B.”
Whichever way you want to look at it, you need back up plans, systems, and strategies for what you do.
In my courses/systems, I talk about having plans, systems, and strategies that you can use to manage bipolar disorder:
NEW
LEARN THE SECRETS OF THE MOST SUCCESSFUL WITH
BIPOLAR DISORDER?
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/bipolarmastersystem/
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
If you use plans, systems, and strategies with managing your bipolar disorder, you still always have to have a “Plan B.”
With bipolar disorder, anyone can go into an episode at any time, so you need to be prepared.
What should your supporters do?
Do you have a medical release for your supporters?
Have financial systems?
What happens if you lose your medical insurance?
Etc.
Don’t think it can’t happen to you, because it can.
And has happened to others with bipolar disorder and their supporters.
Those that had a Plan B did well.
Those that didn’t, had problems.
For example, scroll down to hear Norma’s story:
George and Norma were married. They didn’t have any money problems, so George had no reason to think that there would be any problem (thus, no Plan B).
But Norma did have bipolar disorder, and one day she went into a bipolar manic episode.
She went on an excessive spending spree, giving no thought to the consequences.
Norma cleaned out their checking account, and maxed out all their credit cards.
Now, if they’d had a Plan B, it might have gone something like this: (Scroll down)
Financial Plan for George and Norma:
1. Have George hold onto the
checkbook.
2. Don’t let Norma hold any of the
credit cards.
3. Limit the amount of credit cards
that George holds down to only
1 (or 2 at most), only for emergencies.
4. Limit the amount of cash that Norma
has access to.
Many people with bipolar disorder and their supporters have learned to follow this financial plan and have become very successful with it.
What about you?
Have you learned to have a Plan B in your life?
Has it worked?
I love to hear success stories.
Write it on here, and it might even get posted in one of my emails!
David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.
Post responses below
Good Morning! My soon to be 30 year old daughter is bi-polar and was diagnosed in her teens. Due to not thinking she had to be on medicine and when she was on her meds she didn’t like the side effects, so off her meds she went. Following several years of self medicating, she has ended up in prison. I am now trying to prepare myself and my roommate for her early parole next year and I do know how important having Plan A & Plan B will be. I’m just not sure how to get everything set up for her return. She is on meds in prison but due to the prison atmosphere I’m not sure how well she is really doing. Needless to say I am scared and not sure how to prepare for her return to our home. How do I get everything in place….doctors etc? How do I learn to trust her? How do I forget her actions from the past? Sometimes I wonder if I am “enough” for her. Will I be able to be strong enough for her? She never has liked authority…she has even bucked the system in prison resulting in missed visitations and phone calls….why do I think she’ll be any different when she comes home?
Any thoughts on this would be appreciated. I am wanting to do the best by my daughter but am so afraid. I’ve thought of talking to a therapist or someone that might be able to steer me in the right direction but money is super tight right now and insurance doesn’t cover it fully. Thanks for listening!!
Think that your suggestions for “backup plan B” were excellent.
My son is bipolar, and has always had a terrible time handling his money. His wife did what you suggested, making sure that he only dealt in cash.
That seems to have helped their situation a lot.
hi susan,
My daughter is coming home to in 4 weeks time as it happens: isn’t it funny how the good old bad old memories come out to haunt us in the middle of the night ( round 2 .am ) Like all the times my daughter did the things she did with my money like the time she bailed me up in the kitchen and hit me the time she spread salt around her apartment and piled everything up in a big mountain in her dining room: food food scraps clothing bedding rotting food kids clothes chairs toys computers everything!!!!!
Hang on a minute I let her!!!
For me its not about what my daughter did or didnt do its my actions I
need to look at- I mean I gave her my bank card I handed over my car I believed the things she was saying ( to keep the peace) even if the things she believed in were really really bizarre.I didn’t call the crisis team or my family when she became aggressive. I let her become more and more isolated with her two little children in tow I let her go off her meds and not inform anyone in mental health.I went out and bought Rachel all the liqour she could drink when she asked!!!
Why I wanted to keep my daughter happy I wanted to keep the peace.
When ever I get those doubts and hauntings in the middle of the night ,I get out the old pen and paper and write about it into the diary it all goes so in the cold light of day I can see those black thoughts for what they are.
So my dark what if thoughts last night consisted of
( what if Rachel goes into an episode when she comes home ?) like you, Susan, our financial situation is on a knife edge.
Today I’m setting out to engage my daughter in a discussion on Plan A and Plan B and we are going to come to an agreement and we are going to write it all up. At 10 am today when she comes round for her daily visit with the kids I fully intend to sit her down and have this formal discussion. I will ask her mental health team for their support as well She entered into a contract with them at the beginning of her stay in the rehabilitation facility I need to extend that contract to include her return home. I need their input support and considered opinions.
My son, my backstop has given me the hard word- I MUST put into place plan A and Plan B and Rachel must be a party to those plans otherwize it ain’t gonna work mum!!!
I have to get past my natural reticience to impinge on what I consider others personal rights and freedoms – because there is a lot more at stake now than just Rachel’s personal rights and freedoms ,Rachel HAS been unwell- she will recover- BIPOLAR IS INCURABLE – Rachel must stay on her meds (no self medicating) she must attend regular visits with her psychiatrist and therapist because theres is the health welfare of both myself and her two children and Rachel in the event of another episode.
I am constantly amazed the synchronicity Dave’s emails have with the events and situations of my life with my daughter.
Regards
Shona
Hi Dave, Thank you so much for your newsletter. My name is Cynthia, Terry is my boyfriend of 7 years, he doesn’t type so I am writing you. He is just beginning to learn to understand about bipolar disorder. I am the one that suffers with bipolar, but so does he. I have really bad episodes and I have had this since I have been in my teens, I am almost 56 years old now. I was diagnosed about 5 years ago. Doctors just knew I had depression alot, but also sometimes I was happy, but now the depression has been mostly what I go through. I am on Depakote ER, but sadly I go on and off of my meds. I am trying to stay on them now. I feel sometimes that I just want to stay depressed so when I do feel good something won’t cause me to go into depression. Is that typical? I have been in the pavillion 5 times, my first time when I was 23 yrs old. I have very violent, screaming rages quite often, especially if any little thing goes off track. So now, I am thinking about just isolating myself in my bedroom. My safe haven, my comfort zone. I do not like people coming into my house. My dear sweet daddy died 20 years and I still can’t accept that he is not here for me, he was my rock. Maybe somewhat too protective. I cry each and every day for him. I love him so very much and miss him more each day. My daddy was a preacher and so very kind, he was the most compassionate man I have ever know, except of course for Our Father in Heaven. And I absolutely love Church and reading my Bible, but am very uncomfortable being around people, I isolate myself almost 24 hours a day. I love your newsletters and I thank God for coming into our lives! Your are a God Send!! Do you know of a good website for people who go through this heartbreaking and sad life. There are so many things I do that I really don’t mean to do. And cry so much afterwards. Thank you for listening to me! And again, thank you for all you are doing. You are most certainly an Angel on Earth!! Sincerely, Terry Bagwell and Cynthia Falwell
To SHONA: I thought Rachel was doing so much better, and now I hear she’s in rehab! How AWFUL for you. I DO suggest you get some third-party, outside therapist to counsel you on how to react once Rachel comes home. If you’re lucky enouogh to live in an area that has a community mental health clinic (or even just a health clinic), these charge on a sliding scale, which means they take into consideration WHAT you can afford, and set up a payment schedule. NOTHING is impossible when it comes to YOUR stability and knowing how to deal, and accept Rachel when she finally comes home.
It will NOT be easy for you both to transition to her being at home, after the confinement of a rehab center. There, they have compulsory med time, bed time, meal time, etc. You will have to set up the same sort of schedule, and she will HAVE to accept it, especially where her children are concerned. But first, you MUST take care of NUMBER ONE – yourself. Having Rachel back will NOT be easy on the entire family, but patience and love are required here…I will hold you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
I only HAVE a Plan A – contact the Community Mental Health Clinic if I feel at all “out of sorts.” The only thing I fear is going into hypomania, closing in on a full-blown manic episode, in which case, I WON’T want ANY interference with my euphoric mood. BUT – I think I’m mature enough in dealing with the bipolar to KNOW when I’m in REAL trouble, and seek out help.
BIG HUGS to all bipolar survivors and those who love us. May God bless you real good. I pray for my country.
P.S. My “sexual healing” never happened! Charlie “excused” himself from our tryst by claiming to be an “alcoholic,” and begged off on our meeting at the last minute. He said “once I get my act together, maybe then, we’ll get together.” What a bunch of crap…
I would agree with having my husband handle all the money but he’s worse than I am about finances. He never balances a checkbook and this year he had no money saved for property taxes, I’m self employed and I had to pay the taxes! While he wants me to give up my credit cards, the only bills I have are leftover bills from when we moved to a little town where I could only make about half of what I previously earned as a nurse in the city, hence, my self-employment. When we moved up here he wanted a fireplace put in the basement and that was 3K and guess whose credit card that went on? Since I’ve been self-employed I’ve been making great strides in paying off my bills, something I’m very proud of. The only real spending spree I went on was in my first acute manic episode, and that only amounted to $400 bucks. What do you do when your partner doesn’t really believe you have bipolar disorder, instead thinking it was just a prolonged panic attack? He never saw me during and acute episode of mania, of which I’ve had only one. I’m at that age now where mania isn’t fun anymore. My mania manifests itself as paranoia more than anything else. My youngest sister, also a nurse, saw me through my initial episode, and as far as that goes, I’m tempted to put her down as the decision maker for all psychiatric care in my Advance Directives. I just don’t know that my husband will know what to do, much less do it. What should I do for a back up plan? Any suggestions?
Dont have any plan A or plan B I just go with the flow.
PUD.
I need a plan B David! I think I’m getting booted out of therapy tomorrow night. I have been with my shrink for 24 years. I had an episode this time last year (and year before – and before) but came out of it shinning. I was taking all meds, not using drugs, exercising… Now all I want to do is escape from life. I’m using. I’m not suicidal but wish daily I’d die. I’m lonely (except facebook) and love my dog more then any thing. Except drugs I suppose. If I truly loved my pup I would suffer thru getting clean to give him the life he deserves. He wouldn’t make it if I die from drugging. I need a plan. If my doctor gives me a break tomorrow night I will try and get clean. I don’t know what to do with out his support. He loves me but is so disappointed in me right now. My mind is screwed and I’m a bit scared. Mother! What is the reason? Everything has a reason – what the freak is the reason for this disease and the suffering it causes? Anybody…
acg
Hey Dave, While you may not think I’m a successful enough bipolar to accept any of my applications I’m a smart enough business woman to have a Plan B for my computer system that has 30 years of records to lose. It’s called sparebackup, costs under 100.00 a year and automatically backs up your data on a daily basis while you’re online. Some huge server in Chicago safeguards your files and you can retreive and download them when your computer crashes. Mine has crashed 3 times in 3 decades. I no longer lose sleep over faulty computer hardware. Leaves me more energy to be a successful businesswoman.
David I am sure that you would not consider me a success story. That said I do not have a checking account no credit cards. I have a savings account, but I leave the passbook with someone else. I use money orders to pay bills and cash for everything else. I have not been able to work since the early 80’s. I must budget on Social Security Disability alone. No easy job!
I have a soon to be sister n law that was pregnant and has BP, she was taking 6 meds. and went off all but 1. On Saturday she had a miscarriage. She was planning the wedding that is in June and was pretty stressed about that and my Brother’s ex was causing problems. Could her going off the meds. be part of the reason she lost the baby (she was only 6 wks)? We have told them that it was God’s will and that they can plan the next time (which they did not this time). I would like your input on this subject. And want to thank you for your e-mails they are very helpful, as I have BP and also my Brother.
hi dave my name is kevin im 16 yrs old i got diagosd with bipolar at 13 yrs old.srry for writing here.just hope u keep sending e mails to us who havent bought ur book yet.this really helps a lot.i can see in ur mails u know a lot what bipolar people go through.just wanna warn people that u dont need to be have a realtive who is bipolar to attain it.no 1 in my whole family hadthis sickness.especilly coz i realised she wouldnt be able to cope wid my condition and she is very headstrong.i really started reading all ur daily updates i dont want my mom to get it too.i also found a discovery in myslef.coz before i was diagnosed with bipolar.i was really a quiet person.a kinda low.hardly got high except when i was young(normal).ibelive that MASTURBATION can cause bipolar disorder.coz wen u release ur hormones become active.ur brain works and u get high.plus ur brain gets stressed.just like alcohol or drugs ur hormones get active and u get pimples.so i really people who dont have and have bipolar to dont get addicted to sex coz dat alone can cause bipolar.and dats my story.especially when combined wid hormone raging foods like sugar or junk foods.youth and passion is also a big prob.do not allow this to happen to u.it rarely hapens t people.mostly with anxiety it occurs more.but i know lots f girls who got bipolar during their puberty days.dont do the same and have self control.just like evry 1 saying BRAINS IS EVRYTING