Here is the current Bipolar Disorder news. There
is some really interesting stuff. It costs me a lot
of money to put it together so I URGE you to read
it.

Visit:

http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews331

There’s some really interesting news stories this week.
Take a look at them. Also, write me some feedback by
visiting my blog below.

Here are some of the headlines:

Clinical Trials Update: June 20, 2007

Paxil Mixed with Depression

Excessive gaming, a mental illness?

Mental health unit for new mums opened

Special Report: Bipolar Disorder

For these stories and more, please visit:

http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews331

My Resources For Bipolar:

Quickly And Easily Explain Bipolar To People
Go here for more information.
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/explainingbipolar

Need Money Because Of Bipolar Disorder?
Go here for more information
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarbusiness

Dating Someone With Bipolar?
Go here for more information
http://www.BipolarCentral.com/bipolardating

Want To Marry Someone Who Has Bipolar?
Go here for more information
http://www.BipolarCentral.com/bipolarmarriage/

Need Affordable Health Insurance When Dealing With Bipolar Disorder?
Go here for more information
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/insuranceguide/

Problems With Drugs, Alcohol And Addiction?
Go here for more information
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolaraddiction/

Trying To PREVENT A Divorce From Someone With Bipolar Disorder?
Go here for more information:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolardivorce

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

How’s it going? I hope it’s going well for you.
Yesterday I took some time to speak to many people
on the phone with various questions.

It’s proving to be very hard for me
lately because I am getting sometimes
40 calls in a day.

Andrea H, is helping return calls but
ultimately, although I never wanted to
do this. I am going to have to turn all
bipolar disorder calls over to a call center.

It’s just not possible to answer up to 40 calls
in a day.

Anyway, let’s talk about one thing today that’s
important based on a call that I got from
someone interested in some of my bipolar
disorder material.

One woman called and she was
trying to PREVENT a divorce from
her husband. Her husband has bipolar
disorder and is not stable and demanding
a divorce.

She wants to prevent it. She is getting
my prevent a divorce course at
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolardivorce

She was a
really nice person and she asked me something
like, “what’s the one thing that I can
do right now that can turn it all around?”
Something like that.

I told her I generally have found that
there is really never any one thing that
works with everyone who has bipolar disorder.

There are generally multiple strategies for
the same common goal and you have to try
different ones.

For my own mom, a bipolar supporter strategy
that worked last time for a certain issue
may not work the next time. It’s really annoying
but that’s the way it is. Sorry.

On that note, I must say, there are a lot of things
that are REALLY annoying about having to support
someone with bipolar disorder. But that’s the hand
that we were dealt and we have to make the best
of it.

It’s not that the people with bipolar disorder
are annoying it’s just the illness is. You have
to SEPARATE the two. So there’s a person and then
the person has bipolar disorder. The bipolar
disorder is the annoying part.

Much like Cancer is annoying. Or diabetes is
annoying. Or a bad back is SUPER ANNOYING. And
I have been having major problems with my
back. I was in so much pain that I tried a
home remedy of laying on a baseball and
taking a stick and trying to push up the
knot that I wound up missing the spot that
hurt and hurting another spot.

Which was good in one way because I hurt
myself more than the original pain. So I
forgot about the first spot and only
felt the pain of the second spot. 🙂

BUT the lesson of this is, go to a real
doctor instead home remedies when the situation
is real. Just like with bipolar disorder,
don’t try to treat yourself or adjust
your medications on your own. See
your doctor.

I am following my own advice 🙂

SUPPORTING AN ADULT?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

So remember two things today. There
isn’t one strategy that works for everyone
for everything related to bipolar disorder.
And if your loved one is having problems
with his/her bipolar disorder, it’s the
doctor that will adjust treatment not
you or your loved one.

Your Friend,

Dave

P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/

P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com

Hi,

How’s it going? I had a quick story that
I wanted to share with you that will
be really important to you if you have
bipolar disorder OR if you are supporting
someone with bipolar disorder.

Yesterday after I took several phone calls
related to all my businesses that I have,
I had to go to a business meeting.

Let me tell you, it’s far. It’s almost in
New York which is far from me. And there’s
traffic. And the closer you get to New York
the more mean the drivers are. So I wasn’t
looking forward to it.

Well some how, amazingly, I got there
on time even generally there is so much
traffic you just can’t leave early enough.

So I got to the meeting, was listening and
doing the meeting thing. HOURS went by.
The meeting was suppose to be only 2 hours
long.

I didn’t have my cell phone on and I leaned
over to a guy and looked at his watch I thought
it said 9:15pm. I was like, “What the heck,
it’s time to go.”

So I kept hearing, “Oh, and another thing.
Oh and one more thing. Isn’t this meeting
great, I know it was a little long
but it’s great isn’t it?”

I was dying in my chair. First it’s hard
for me to sit still for this long to
begin with. Secondly I get bored kind
of fast and I have so many things to do.

In the meeting that was NOT related to
bipolar disorder, I had already outlined
my goals for all the mental health stuff
for 2009, outlined multiple interviews
I was going to do, new article ideas,
a new way to handle my phone calls, etc.

So I did get a lot done in the time
plus I listened to what was going on. I really
did. I swear :).

Okay, so at like 9:40pm, I lean next to the
guy and say, “Hey, this is way longer
than 2 hours and it’s almost 3 and 1/2 hours
and when’s this going to be done? I have
to eat every 2.5 hours and I am starting
to feel really bad and sick.”

NOTE-I body build non competitively and
I do eat ever 2.5 hours when I am awake and
if I don’t, I start to feel really sick. I can
probably pass out if I hit the 5 hour mark
and I get really weak and I can’t even think
so I was being totally serious.

Anyway, the guy leans over to me and says:
“Don’t worry about it, you know a guy once
didn’t eat for a whole year?”

I was like “What the heck? Just because
some moron supposedly didn’t eat for a whole
year I am suppose to be happy not eating
when I am suppose to and then I was thinking
who cares about the guy that didn’t eat
for a whole year? Am I the guy who didn’t
eat for a whole year? Is that a true
story.”

I was super mad. And started to leave
and then the meeting was over and then it
hit me…

The Bipolar Disorder Statistical Outliner

What’s that? Well when you look at mathematical
averages there is something called the
Statistical Outliner.

This is something that falls way outside
of the average and is on the outlining
areas of a given group.

For example, most people eat daily, but there’s
a man that eat or ate once a year. He is on the
OUTSIDE of the averages of normal people.

How does this relate to bipolar? Good question.

Here’s how it does. There are certain things
that are done to support someone with
bipolar disorder or if you have it yourself.

We could argue that you could call them “bipolar
disorder best practices.” Best practices is a term
used to define things that are generally proven
to work best for a given objective.

So let’s look at bipolar disorder and best practices.
Generally it’s things like, find a great doctor,
go to him/her regularly, find a great therapist,
go to him/her regularly, take medication, take it
like you are suppose to, exercise, eat right,
don’t have too much stress in your life, protect
your finances, etc.

Those are all things that are considered best practices?
That makes sense?

Now the statistical outliner would be like a person
that you found who is stable who does NOT do
or engage in best practices. This person doesn’t
take medication, doesn’t see a doctor, does
illegal drugs, drinks all night long, is stressed
a ton, eats junk food, etc.

This one out a million or 10 million would be stable
but he/she is NOT the norm and should not be modeled.

For example, with kids, you encourage them to go
to college or at least high school? Why because going
to high school and college is best practices with
getting a good job right? Well there is probably at least
one person who dropped out of the 4th grade and is a
multi millionaire.

Now would you encourage your kid to drop out of the
4th grade and skip all the rest of the grades and high
school and college? Of course not. Why? Because you
know that statically speaking your kid will not
do well financially in life.

It’s the same thing with bipolar disorder, you have
to model best practices and average of people who do
well, NOT look to the statistical outliner and follow
him/her.

Occasionally I go to a support group meeting and hear
that there is such and such a person that does NOTHING
that makes any sense and the person is doing great.
99% of the time I believe it’s a lie but 1% I think
it’s true but I always say the same thing “So what?
You think I am going to have my mom do that kind of thing
with her bipolar disorder, you’re crazy.”

This is a VERY important concept that I hope makes
sense to you. Bottom line is you have to follow
what works for most people with bipolar disorder
whether you are a supporter or a person with
bipolar disorder not follow things that work for
1 out 25 million people. And be careful of people
that tell you stories of people who are doing
well bipolar disorder or being a supporter
of someone with bipolar disorder which makes
no sense at all and seems to deviate from
normal things.

If you listen to all my interviews in all my courses
I only let people talk about things that are best
practices not random luck of the draw statistical outliner
type of strategies. That’s no good to regular and
average people like I am and I think you are as well.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

Your Friend,

Dave

P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/

P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com

Hi,

How’s it going? First, I would like to welcome
4000 new subscribers to my mailing list. That’s
about how many have subscribed over the last
3 days or so.

Welcome.

Secondly, today I wanted to talk about
an VERY IMPORTANT concept about bipolar disorder
that my dad, mom and many other still
struggle with. It was something that I was
reminded this past weekend when I went
to the Strongman Competition to see
my friend compete.

If you are new to my list, let me get
you up to speed. This Saturday my friend
competed in a Strongman Competition. That’s
a competition where you list all kinds of
heavy objects and they time you and/or see
how many things you can lift. This
has nothing to do with bipolar disorder
BUT while I was there, I was reminded
of a VERY important lesson related to
bipolar disorder.

I am going to share it with you today.
Here’s how I was reminded.

So when I went to the competition,
there were many people. It was like
100 degrees and I was super hot. I
did however bring food and lots of
water.

As I walked around and looked for my
friend when I got there, I noticed
there were HUGE people. I mean HUGE.
Some people were at least 350 pounds
or more. There were woman there as well.
Some of them were really big or smaller
but you could obviously tell they were
really strong.

Anyway, I found my friend and spoke with
him. I didn’t want to bother him because
he was “in the zone” preparing for his
first even which was pressing tires attached
to a truck axel.

DON’T WORRY THERE IS A LESSON ON BIPOLAR DISORDER
COMING SOON

I also found my friend’s wife and family and
I spoke to them for a while. Then I decided
to go and talk to people and strike up a competition
and see what people say how they got so strong.

I met one of the world’s strongest men and he
is able to dead lift 900 pounds 3 times. Which
is a huge accomplishment. I met other World
Record Holders for various events.

I started to ask people, “Hey is it technique,
strength, training, that makes you so strong?”

I thought the strongmen wouldn’t want to talk
to me and not reveal their secrets but I was
happy to see they would talk and this
is where I was reminded of a HUGE lesson
that is related to bipolar disorder.

One guy said to me, “You have to train,
practice, I sacrifice a lot and I want
to be number one. There’s a lot of stuff
that I have to do to be good at this.”

Another guy said to me, “I had to stop
power lifting and just focus on strongman
because you can’t do both.”

I another person said, “I had to stop body
building and just focus on strongman. Body
builders try this and get smoked because
it’s much different.”

NOTE-Smoked means, hmm how do I describe
it, let’s say it’s slang for beat really
badly.

Person after person basically was saying
if you want to be good at strongman competitions
you have to focus, train, sacrifice and probably
have to forget other things you may be doing
that interferes with it like other sports
or training you may be doing like body building,
power lifting, and certain kinds of exercise.

For example, you shouldn’t run a lot of long
distances when you are a strongman, it’s not
good for you. You should play basketball
either according to many.

WHAT’S THIS HAVE TO DO WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

It has a ton to do with bipolar disorder. Nobody
had bipolar disorder there but they did reveal
a strategy and philosophy what is so important
to coping and dealing with bipolar disorder.

That is, you and your loved one will have to make
choices when it comes to bipolar disorder. Some
choices you make will help, others will make
bipolar episodes more frequent and often.

Many times, sacrifices will have to be made.
Let me explain. Okay, when my mom was first
coming out of her episode, I began to look
at what she had been doing in the past that
may have triggered her bipolar episode.

There’s a whole long list of things
but one thing in particular was really problematic
and I saw it would have to go–meaning if she
wanted to maintain stability, she would not be
able to do this.

What is it? It’s work full time, and baby
sit for my brother’s kids almost full time.

When I began to investigate what had happened
prior to my mom getting into an episode I found
she was getting up at 5:30am in the morning
and then going to work and then immediately going
to my brother’s house to baby sit for hours
and then driving home. It was a 50 minute to
his house one way.

Based on common sense and my talks with multiple
doctors, therapists and people with bipolar disorder
my mom was doing too much and the stress she was
putting herself under was acting a trigger
for her bipolar disorder.

NOW, when I told my mom, I highly recommended no
more baby sitting she was saying how in order
to be a good grandmother she had to baby sit
and also my brother was kind of demanding it.

I told her that I would handle my brother no
problem but I said, and I will never forget

“MOM YOU HAVE CHOICES TO MAKE, EITHER YOU
WILL CHOICE THINGS THAT HELP YOU BE STABLE
OR YOU WON’T”

I wasn’t screaming at her but very firm. She
actually thought about it and totally agreed.
I said, if you go in and out of episodes
what good will you be as a grandmother
anyway.

And I suggested that it was almost abusive for
my brother to demand someone drive almost 2 hours
a day 5 and 6 days a week to baby sit. I said,
“What the heck, Stephen is loaded with money
he can go and pay for 3 baby sitters.”

My brother works on Wall Street so he has
the money AND as a side note, he didn’t
contribute one dime of money to any of my mom’s
bills when they were raining down on her and my
myself.

So anyway, my mom stopped the baby sitting,
stopped working full time and started doing things
that me, her, her doctor and therapist all thought
were good ideas. Over time, we saw what should
be added and what should be subtracted.

Meaning over a year, we saw that certain
activities had to go and certain ones had to
stay. For example, my mom has to exercise
regularly, if not she is more likely to
go into a bipolar episode. My mom has to
avoid foods with lots of sugar or it will possibly
trigger a bipolar disorder episode.

RECENTLY, my mom’s doctor says she can’t
watch TV beyond, and I think it’s 8:00pm
any more. This is just recent.

So my mom, like the strongman, has choices
to make based on her goals. She could not
exercise, eat lots of food with sugar,
watch TV all night long but then she will
not hit her goal of being stable. So like
the strongman, my mom has a goal and there’s
sacrifices that will have to be made.

This is such an important point to learn
and understand.

And if you are supporting someone with
bipolar disorder, there are many choices
you will have to make that either work
for or against your loved one with bipolar
disorder.

For example, let’s say that you are married
to someone with bipolar disorder and you
know that person has to be in bed by 10:00pm,
then you should NOT pressure them to go to things
that will mean they can’t go to bed at that time.

You probably should even bring them up. If you can
go out to a party and it’s too late, how about
you simply don’t go and do something else or
simply leave early. It’s things like this
and others that you will have to choice
if you are a supporter.

If you are a supporter and married to someone
you may NOT be able to take that job that moves
you across the country because your loved one
has a great support system in place and you don’t
want to mess it up? Is this fair? I don’t know
but this is what needs to be done.

Well I have to take off for the day. Have
a great day and hang in there.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

Your Friend,

Dave

P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/

P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com

Hi,

Well Father’s Day is over and it went fairly
well. There was no serious drama. This was
the first Father’s Day where there was no
serious bipolar drama. Since there was only
three people, myself, my dad and my mom,
it’s hard to have drama :).

Anyway, my mom did throw out what I call
Bipolar Bait to kind of start a situation.
In all cases, my dad and myself didn’t
take the bait so there were no problems.

But as this was happening, I was thinking
about writing you this important email
about a very important principle I have
learned when supporting someone with
bipolar disorder.

You MUST choose IMPORTANT Battles

What does this mean? Well when supporting
someone with bipolar disorder, things are said
and done that are either important or not
important.

For example, yesterday my mom said, “Why
are you guys jumping on me.” My dad and
I were not “jumping” on her rather
simply engaging in a conversation and
not agreeing with my mom. She called
that jumping on her.

I could have gone on and gone and defended
myself and my dad but I let it slide because
I don’t care and it’s not important.

On the flip side, I INSISTED that my mom
NOT get all worked up and involved in
a family reunion that is going in Texas.

I will fight this battle because it’s
important. I know if my mom starts getting
all into planning, figuring things out,
buying stuff, etc from New Jersey for
an event in Texas it will probably lead
to some kind of episode.

How do I know this? Is it because I am
a psychic? NO, because I have charted
patterns of this happening in the
past 20 years.

Another example of a battle I choose
to fight was the battle over finances.
I choose to make sure my mom didn’t
create any more d.ebt and fought
to make sure she wasn’t using c.redit cards.

But there are other things that I just
let go because they are not that important.
If you don’t learn to figure out what’s really
important and what’s not really important
you will find yourself constantly stressed out,
tired all the time and feel like you are at
war 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days
a year and that’s a hard way to live.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

Hey, well I have to take off for the day.
Have a great day.

Dave

Hi,

First HAPPY FATHER’S DAY if you have a Father’s
day wherever you are. I have to write that
because there are almost 100,000 people now
on my lists and in some places, there is
no Father’s Day.

With that said, I think my mom is going to be
making brunch for my dad and myself. In
thinking about this, I was thinking about
the bipolar supporter lie–something I
don’t think I have ever written about
only talked about with people who filled
out my forms for f.ree consultations
for non medical and non legal questions
because I am NOT a doctor, lawyer,
financial person, insurance agent, etc.

The consultations are a f.ree bonus gift
with any of these courses/systems:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

Anyway, with that said, just as I wrote
this, I got the “holiday phone call” from my mom.

I will go over a few things today. First the
holiday phone call is when my mom takes a holiday
and one that can be very simple and not a big
deal and creates a whole lot of drama about
it. Which currently is happening right now.

So now my mom is telling me she is not making
brunch we are going somewhere and I have to
be there at EXACTLY the right time or else.

Her therapist, doctor and myself believe that
one of my mom’s symptoms or results of having
bipolar disorder is that when events come,
she blows them out of proportion and tries
to do way too much which ultimately, if left
unchecked, ramps her into mania.

The thing that makes it so bad for me is
that a) I don’t want to have anything to
do with grief or stress b) other family
members wind up not want to go to any
events with my mom if she does stuff
like this c) that means that my mom
is reduced to myself and my dad on
all holidays or events d) that means
I am not going to have fun.

So today it already started which in my
head honestly makes me want to disappear
and not go–this is exactly what my brother
has done and is doing. My brother has
effectively disowned us (my mom, dad and
myself) and doesn’t speak to us no matter
what.

It all started a while ago when my brother
claims my mom didn’t baby sit for him
when she said that she was going to. My brother
was super mad and demanded that I yell at
my mom which I was not going to because I am
not going to start World War 3 and then be the
person that has to deal with it.

I told him that if my mom went into an episode
I would be the one dealing with it. He didn’t
like that answer and my dad stayed out of it
and as a result my brother banned us from
all holiday get together at his house
including but not limited to Christmas,
Thanksgiving, Father’s day, Mother’s day,
family cookouts, etc.

Here’s where the bipolar supporter lie comes
in.

Last year, my mom didn’t believe that my
brother would NOT invite her to Thanksgiving.
She waited to the very last second. I was
on standby waiting as well to get a call
from my mom to know what to do. I know
for sure my Thanksgiving was going to
be horrible. I was super mad that I
had to have a bad one because of my
mom. Part of me wanted to say forget
it and just go and hang out with one
of 10 friends that invited me over.
But I felt like the right thing to do
was to stay and wait.

So at like 3:00pm my mom final realized
my brother wasn’t going to invite us.
Then the scramble came to try to find
some place open so we could go. Guess
what? Well since nobody got reservations
we were forced to go to a place that
was not good. It was a total nightmare.

I was so mad I didn’t even speak. I seriously
considered cutting off my family because
they ruined yet ANOTHER Thanksgiving.
I can’t tell you in my life how many
holidays, birthdays etc, have been ruined
for me because of bipolar disorder.
Ask my mom and she would say this is not
true but it is.

Okay, so back to the Thanksgiving story. After
Thanksgiving, many of my friends called and
ask how mine was and then I was faced with
a problem…

DO I LIE?

I felt I couldn’t say that I didn’t go
to my brothers, it was horrible, so on and so
forth. So I actually came up with a solution
that wasn’t a lie. I simply said, “Well,
it was okay, how’s yours?” By doing
this all my friends talked about theirs
instead of mine.

I did have to reveal that I didn’t go to
my brothers and since we had been doing
that for years, many friends asked why.
I just said, “Oh he wasn’t around.” Which
is true because he wasn’t around us.

People ask me all the time should they
lie about what is really going on when it
comes to supporting someone with bipolar
disorder. I must say, if you lied about
these things I wouldn’t find fault with you.
I mean if you had to lie and say:

I had a great time and you really didn’t
Things went okay when they really didn’t
We had fun when you really didn’t
She’s doing okay when she’s really doing very badly
I can’t wait until next year when you really can wait until
next year.
Etc.

When you are supporting someone with bipolar
disorder, things get so darn complicated it’s almost
impossible to explain situations and events to people
who are not part of the bipolar supporter family. If
you and I were talking, I would get it right away. Try
to explain stuff that goes on to Bob your neighbor
and it’s hard. Or explain it co Co-worker Mary,
might be very difficult.

Here is my tip for the day. When you know people
are going to ask, develop a story that is vague
enough that isn’t technically a lie. Maybe it’s
a white lie but not a hard core lie. I do this
all the time.

I know for sure today, my friends will ask me
“how was father’s day.”

I will say “Same as always.” Which is true, it
most likely will be bad which is the same it
has been for at least the last 15 years.
I can’t think of any question that I would
be asked that would force me to have to talk
about what goes on with my mom and how it
produces 50 different problems for me.

I wrote this email today not for you to
feel bad for me because I don’t need you
to but it’s to make the thousands of people
on my list that are suffering because their
loved one’s are out of control. People call
and write me and ask if I ever have problems
any more with my mom and if it’s all perfect.
It’s not. I do have problems but I create
solutions for the problems.

But today, there will be lots of drama
because it’s Father’s day and I am 99% sure
my mom will say all kinds of things that create
all kinds of problems because this is her
pattern on every single holiday which makes
it so hard for me because I don’t have normal
holidays.

It would be easy for me to vanish, and tell
my parents, “Oh I will be in California, sorry
can’t make the next 25 holidays.” I think about
this because I have friends all over the us and
many know that I suffer during holidays and think
it’s not fair. When I think of this, I feel bad
leaving my dad stuck with my mom and just the
two of them so then I wind up putting up with
it again.

Bottom line is, when there is a calendar holiday
it’s probably going to be bad for me.

So what I have done is I create non calendar holidays
for myself without my mom and dad and that way
I can have some kind of life and fun. Otherwise
I would probably be really mad all the time considering
I haven’t had a peaceful non dramatic holiday in
I can’t even remember how long if ever.

Anyway, I have to run and prepare for all the different
things that can happen today which is a pain but someone
has to do it.

BUT FINAL NOTE
There is a family get together occurring in Texas
in July that I will NOT be at. I can NOT go
due to business things that I have to take care of.
It will be very interesting to see how this is handled
and how my mom comes back from Texas.

I of course will keep you posted and point out
lessons to learn so you don’t make the same mistakes
if any.

Have to run. Have a great day.

Your Friend,

Dave

P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/

P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com

Hi,

How’s it going? I have to take off really early
today because my friend is in one of those strongman
competition and I am going to watch it. As a side
note, strongman competitions are when people move
really heavy things around on a field. Some could
argue it is “crazy” but my friend really likes it.

With that said, I wanted to point something out
that is really important and something my
dad struggles with concerning my mom’s bipolar
disorder.

Generally speaking, for about 40 years, my dad
left the treatment up to my mom and her doctor. Which
ever doctor she was seeing at the time. When I took
over being my mom’s chief supporter one thing
that I clearly saw was a problem was my mom
not having a good doctor for her bipolar disorder.

So my first goal was to find a good doctor that could
help her. So I developed my doctor finding system that
makes doctors who are qualified contact you. That worked
great.

But then I accidentally discovered another part of
the equation that I am going to share with you.
Before I tell you what it is, I will tell you,
for some reason, I felt compelled to report everything
I heard and saw to my mom’s doctor. I am not sure
why but nobody told me to do it. Her doctor didn’t
tell me. My dad never said to. I never read it
in any book. Nobody anywhere ever told me.

I just kind of did it. Maybe I did it to clearly
explain how strange my mom was acting and to
pass along the “suffering” I was experiencing
to the doctor so she could kind of feel my pain.

Anyway, this worked wonders. The doctor was almost
getting real time data to make decisions with. I would
have summaries and information all the time.

NOTE-I wasn’t sending over a long rambling message
that didn’t make any sense. I would send or call with
information like:

She is not sleeping
She has trouble concentrating in the morning
She yells all day long
She is moving really, slow and seems to have a hard time thinking
She is not able to do anything during the day
I am seeing her handle tremble a lot.
Etc.

That’s the kind of stuff that I was reporting.
My mom’s doctor told me this was VERY helpful for
her. She never even had to ask questions or respond
she just took the data in and was asking my mom
questions and seeing her.

In a short period of time, my mom’s doctor found
a combination of bipolar disorder medication that
got her to like a 6 on the bipolar stability index
( 10 meaning totally stable 0 meaning totally
unstable, this a term that I coined which I will
cover probably tomorrow).

I was REALLY, REALLY shocked how well my mom’s
doctor did and all the other doctors for many
months couldn’t do what she was able to do in
less than a month. It was amazing to me.

BUT THEN IT HIT ME one day.

psychiatrists are NOT psychics.

In the old days, we assumed that my mom’s doctors
would some how always know what was going on
without actually living with my mom. BUT THIS
IS IMPOSSIBLE.

One 15 minute visit and some questions doesn’t
cut it either. Meaning many times a patient
only has 15 minutes to talk about what is going
on. And a patient with bipolar disorder that
is manipulating the system will NOT report
what is really going on.

It will go like this:

Doctor: “How are you doing?”

Patient: “I am doing okay.” (EVEN THOUGH this is not true)

Then the doctor will have to either press for
more detail which many don’t or they would have
to be a psychic to know what is really going
on.

So we learned an important lesson in our family,
we have to report what is going on. Here’s
my NON medical and NON legal advice for you (since
I am NOT a doctor, lawyer, insurance person,
financial person, etc).

If you have bipolar disorder:

Report all side effects
Report how you feel exactly
Report any problems you have
Report and concerns you have
Report it all. Do NOT hide things.
Don’ assume they do know or they will know

If you are supporting someone with bipolar disorder:
Report exactly what you see in your loved one in concise
bullet point fashion
Don’t assume your loved one is reporting the truth or
right things when they are not stable
Don’t assume doctors will know what is going on because
they are doctors.

Okay, well I have to run and get ready to take off
have a great day and catch you tomorrow.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

Your Friend,

Dave

P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/

P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com

Hi,

Here is the current Bipolar Disorder news.
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews330

There’s some really interesting news stories this week.
Take a look at them. Also, write me some feedback by
visiting my blog below.

Here are some of the headlines:

Comorbidities Common In Bipolar Disorder, May Have Genetic Link

Lamotrigine May Prevent Depressive Relapse in Bipolar Disorder

New Survey Shows Product Liability Litigation May Jeopardize
Treatment Outcomes for People with Severe Mental Illnesses

Bipolar patients should disregard study, not meds Ask Dr. H …

High-tech vest can diagnose mental illness

For these stories and more, please visit:

http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews330

My Resources For Bipolar:

Quickly And Easily Explain Bipolar To People
Go here for more information.
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/explainingbipolar

Need Money Because Of Bipolar Disorder?
Go here for more information
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarbusiness

Dating Someone With Bipolar?
Go here for more information
http://www.BipolarCentral.com/bipolardating

Want To Marry Someone Who Has Bipolar?
Go here for more information
http://www.BipolarCentral.com/bipolarmarriage/

Need Affordable Health Insurance When Dealing With Bipolar Disorder?
Go here for more information
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/insuranceguide/

Problems With Drugs, Alcohol And Addiction?
Go here for more information
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolaraddiction/

Trying To PREVENT A Divorce From Someone With Bipolar Disorder?
Go here for more information:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolardivorce

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

How’s it going? I hope you are doing well.
You may remember about 10 days ago or so someone
who works for me, helping me out with my organization
that helps both supporters and survivors of bipolar
disorder, quit with zero notice.

In addition to that, she left a trail of a whole
lot of problems. It’s actually amazing when I
look at the list. Oh well I have to deal with it.

The good news is that I have a great team of people
who have come together to help me and I have hired
someone else as well. BUT, it takes time to unscramble
someone else’s mess.

It’s odd but this reminded me of when I was trying
to unscramble my mom’s mess.

On the descriptions of my systems/courses:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

You’ll notice that I talk about coming into my mom
and dad’s house and going into my mom’s room
and seeing 5 feet of bills 3 inches high. That might
sound like an exaggeration but it is NOT. I have the
proof. For some reason, I saved EVERYTHING that I had
from my mom. I have a record of all the d.ebts and bills
she had. There were a TON.

I will never forgot asking myself, “am I really seeing
what I am seeing?” There were so many bills and d.ebts
it was beyond comprehension.

In addition to this, there were so many problems that
I didn’t even know where to start.

This is sort of how I feel with the person who quit.
I am “discovering” lots of things that weren’t done
and lots of phone calls not handled.

Right now I am in the process of cleaning it all up.

Yesterday I was in the gym and explaining the situation
to someone I am friends with. And he said,

“Aren’t you worried that there are things she did
you will never know” Aren’t you worried that she
has created way more problems than you know about?”

He was referring to the person who quit with zero
notice.

Then I got to thinking about something. Worry and bipolar
disorder how those two go together.

So I wanted to tell you a couple of things about it
in my daily email today.

First, back in the day I use to worry ALL the time
about my mom. I would worry about:

Can I get her into treatment
Will treatment work?
Will we ever find a doctor?
Will she ever be able to pay off her de.bts?
Will I have to support her for the rest of her life?
Can I ever have a life?
What will my next girlfriend think of my mom?
Can I support my mom and ever get married?
Will my brother ever talk to me again?
Will my mom follow the system that I set up?
What if my mom’s medication fails?
What is my dad has a stroke?
What is my mom’s mom dies and causes her to go into an episode
What is my mom calls one of my friends and says crazy things to them?
Will my friends think that I am strange that I have a mom with
bipolar disorder?

The list goes on and on and on. I use to lay in bed and worry
all night long. I am not kidding when I say that I use
to get about 2 to 3 hours sleep a night for about a 9 months
or so.

I felt like I was in a kind of prison. And then one day…

I STOPPED WORRYING ABOUT THINGS I HAVE NO CONTROL OVER

Actually here is what happen and this is a true story.
I say it’s a true story because people always write me
and ask, “Dave, is that a true story?” All my stories
are true I don’t make things up.

Anyway, one day I was in one of my favorite places—
the library. I was looking for “programs” and “things”
for people with bipolar disorder. I actually didn’t
find a thing because our state failed to organization
any sort of logical database or book of programs
for people with bipolar disorder.

Anyway I was sitting there and decided I was dead
tired so I was looking for a chair to sit and
relax it instead of sitting at a desk. I had
put in a solid 4 hours of researching in the
library so I was tired.

Anyway, I found a chair and in it was a book:
“How to Stop Worrying and Start Living”

and since at this time I was worrying 24 hours
a day I was like “Hey this book is for me.”

Then an older guy walked by and saw me reading it
and said to me, “That’s a good book, changed
my life, you should read it son. It’s good. You
read books, don’t you?” I said yes and told him
about my mom and guess what? Well he had a family
member with bipolar disorder that had vanished.

NOTE-If you talk about bipolar disorder, you will
find up to 33% of people have someone very close
to them that has the disorder.

Anyway, so I started reading the book. Here’s
the deal, I can’t get into the strategies but
the book is EXCELLENT. I read it 3 times
that day. It’s a quick read.

If you are worrying from bipolar disorder you should
get it right away from amazon.com or the library.
It’s super cheap like under $5. You can spring
for it.

I don’t make a dime if you buy it but you should.

I find that worry and bipolar disorder is terrible.
It destroy you. I really felt that I worried so much
about my mom, I thought on any given day I was going
to die from a stroke or some kind of massive anxiety
attack. I seriously think if I was older and not
in as good of shape at the time, it would have happen.

In addition to the book I mentioned, I think the
other part of not worrying too much about a loved
one’s bipolar disorder is having the knowledge of
what to expect, how to handle things and how to
react.

When you don’t know these things, you worry. My
dad still worries all the time about my mom’s
bipolar disorder.

Why? He doesn’t know how to handle any potential
problems that might arise because he has been
lazy with studying all of my material that
he can get for f.ree.

Me on the other hand, I am not worried about
my mom’s episodes any more because I know
EXACTLY what to do. For each problem that might
arise I have a solution and a back up solution
if the first solution fails. I also know how
to problem solve with bipolar problems.

I really have this down to a science. You can
too it just takes time.

I feel really, really, really, really bad when
I talk to people who are all stressed out and
worrying about their loved one. I try my
best to give them hope but I know they
are suffering.

The good news is, if this is you, you can
get a lot of stuff from me to reduce your
feeling that you have to worry.

Well, I have to run for the day and head off
to the gym.

Your Friend,

Dave

P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/

P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com

Hi,

How’s it going? Yesterday I wrote you an email
about an article that I wrote titled:
“Ways to Calm Down Quickly When Overwhelmed”

Lots of people really liked part 1 that I
sent out yesterday.

If you missed it, please visit:

http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/2007/06/warning-dont-let-bipolar-disorder.html

to check it out again.

Here is part two of the article:

Use positive affirmations.
Again, as above, this is especially useful when practiced
with the breathing exercises described previously.
Phrases such as, “I am better than this,” or “I know
I can handle this, or “This too shall pass,” are all
good examples of positive affirmations. You can tailor
these to fit your own situation. Then repeat them over
and over to yourself, until you feel more calm and able
to deal with your situation.

SIDE NOTE FROM ME> I use this technique a lot and it
really, really works well for me.

Be realistic.
Look at your situation realistically. Ask yourself
questions such as, “Am I responsible for this
situation?” (If so, ask yourself how you can get
yourself out of the situation.) “How did I get
into this?” (Again, ask yourself how you can get
out of it.) “Am I overreacting?” (If so, look
at the situation realistically, and you will be
able to calm yourself down.)

You may be in this stressful, overwhelming situation
because of yourself, not anyone else! You may be
trying too hard, for instance. You may be trying
to be “perfect.” If so, just relax, and be yourself!
Think for just a few minutes, looking at your situation
realistically, especially if you have been overreacting,
and you will begin to relax – then watch your stress
level decrease, and your situation will no longer be
so overwhelming!

Meditate and relax.
Many people have a wrong image of meditation.
They think instantly of yoga, tai chi, and other
physical or positional relaxation ways of meditation.
Yes, these are examples of meditation, but there is a
very simple way of meditation that you can practice
in five minutes or less.

Find a quiet place. Get comfortable. Try to make it
as dark as possible. Close your eyes. Begin the
breathing techniques described above, using the
phrase you have chosen as your “mantra.” If your mind
gets distracted, just keep going back to your phrase,
over and over. Relax your body – the breathing exercises
will do this in the beginning; however, in meditation,
we do this a little differently. While doing the breathing
exercises, start with your eyes, as they close. Then
think consciously of each part of your body (muscles)
and consciously relax it in the same way you do your eyes.

Start from the top of your body and continue to your
feet. Remember to breathe in and out, slowly. This
process will only take about five minutes, but you will
feel so relaxed at the end that you will feel like it’s
been about an hour! You will feel so stress-free that
you will wonder what overwhelmed you in the first place!
After you have done at least one of the above suggested
ways of stress relief, you will be in a better position
to deal with whatever it was that caused you to feel
overwhelmed in the first place. Also, these suggestions
are not just for instant stress relief. Practice them in
your daily life as well, and watch your stress level decrease!

======

Well that’s the end of the article. If you are interested
in my main courses/systems, here are the links:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

I have to take off now and I will write more
tomorrow. Have a great day!

Your Friend,

Dave

P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/

P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com