Hi,

I have some good news and some bad news related to getting
help with your loved one’s bipolar disorder from me.

Okay, here’s the situation. I have been getting
tons and tons of letters in the mail, emails, phone
calls, even on my cell (I have no idea how people
get my number), faxes and boxes of material
from people needing help.

I spend a great deal of time with people on the
phone helping them. Especially those that fill
out my f.ree bipolar help certificates (for
NON medical and NON legal questions because I am
NOT a doctor, therapist, lawywer, accountant,
etc.) in my
courses/system.

With everything, I respond to of people. But now I am getting
to the point where there is so much, it’s beyond
what any one person can do.

I have to say this, for direct access to me, you
are going to have to get my courses/systems.

Why? Well, if you do, it’s easier to talk to someone
that has and has a background. This speeds things along
because all the answers are already in my material.

So if you want help right away, you can fill out a
consultation certificate that comes with one of these
courses/systems below:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com/

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net/

THERE IS A CATCH.

You MUST go through the material before filling
out the f.ree consultation certificate. Why? Is
it because I am mean and want to be a pain? NO.
It’s because that means these things will go
much faster I don’t have to reexplain what I
have already taught in the material.

Now I know I will get some hate mail saying
I am evil, mean, God is going to get me,
I am going to Hell, so on and so forth
but I have to have a life. I can’t spend
all day taking calls, reading letters and
emails or I will have no life. I do more
than 99% of people in mental health. I send
a daily email that takes more than one hour
to write a day. I have tons and of material,
a lot for free on bipolar disorder.

When I was getting started and needed help,
there was no way for me to talk to anyone
who really knew what they were talking about.

I could pay doctors and therapists but they
didn’t have practical strategies to help
my mom. So I had to invent them.

These days, with almost 100,000 people on my
list, I can’t help everyone all the time. It’s
impossible. So I am writing to let you know
this.

I think the guaranteed access system I have
is fair.

I hope you understand.

Dave

Here is the current Bipolar Disorder news.

http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews325

There’s some really interesting news stories this
week. Take a look at them. Also, write me some
feedback by visiting my blog below.

Here are some of the headlines:

Electroconvulsive Therapy Is Effective but Underused for Severe
Depression

Study of damaged gene gives insight into causes of mental illness

US bipolar cases more than anticipated

Bloomfield man receives maximum sentence in woman’s slaying

For these stories and more, please visit:

http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews325

My Resources For Bipolar:

Quickly And Easily Explain Bipolar To People
Go here for more information.
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/explainingbipolar

Need Money Because Of Bipolar Disorder?
Go here for more information
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarbusiness

Dating Someone With Bipolar?
Go here for more information
http://www.BipolarCentral.com/bipolardating

Want To Marry Someone Who Has Bipolar?
Go here for more information
http://www.BipolarCentral.com/bipolarmarriage/

Need Affordable Health Insurance When Dealing With
Bipolar Disorder?
Go here for more information
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/insuranceguide/

Problems With Drugs, Alcohol And Addiction?
Go here for more information
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolaraddiction/

Trying To PREVENT A Divorce From Someone With Bipolar
Disorder?
Go here for more information:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolardivorce

Your Friend,
Dave

Hi,

I wanted to drop you quick note about something
that came up with someone that works for
me with bipolar disorder. This person
does a great job. I’ve never had any problems
with her in almost 2 years.

Yesterday however we were fighting with
computer software and we were both losing.

She said, “I hate these stupid software
programs because they never work right.”

I said, “Yea, they never do that’s why
I try not to buy new ones.”

Then she really started getting mad. I was
probably 15 times MORE mad than her. She
said to me, “I can’t get mad, or they will
think that my medication needs to be changed
and I am going into an episode.”

We both laughed and finally got the problem
fixed. If she needed her medication changed
for getting mad and I was 15 times more
mad than me, what would that say about me?

So then I was thinking about bipolar
disorder and medication. First let me say
I am NOT a doctor, lawyer, accountant,
or anything else “professional.” So
I am NOT giving any kind of advice like that.

What I will say is this. If you are supporting
someone with bipolar disorder, you have to have
realistic expectations with medication. You
also have to realize that a person is allowed
to have emotions and normal moods. Bipolar Disorder
is a mood disorder with extreme moods up or down.
It’s the extremes you are looking for not the
normal moods and emotions you see in everyone.

What do I mean? For example, with what I just
wrote and the software program. If someone is
fighting with a software program, which I do
almost everyday and lose, and that person gets
really, really mad and has bipolar disorder,
does that mean his/her medications is messed
up or they are going into an episode?

It could but probably not. Let me give you another
example as to what happen with myself. After my
mom was out of the outpatient program a while ago,
I was at my mom and dad’s house with my brother.

My mom came back mad and my brother said, “Oh
here she goes again.” I asked my mom why she
was mad, and she said she had been cut off
by someone who screamed at her and then made
all kinds of hand gestures. So she got
mad.

When I heard this, I thought, “Who wouldn’t
get mad about that?” Then I pointed out to
my brother he flies into road rage for the
slightest things, if someone cuts him off or
gives him the finger (which in the US is an obscene
hand gesture, and maybe other places too but
I don’t know,) so if getting mad about
a driving incident is a sign a person is
going into an episode and needs their medication
changed, that means he is going into an episode
and needs his medication changed based on the
transitive property of equality.

The transitive property of equality in
math dictates
if a = b and b = c, then a = c

My brother doesn’t have bipolar disorder and
isn’t taking medication but I am sure you see
where I am going.

When I told my brother that, he got all mad
at me and then I said, “If you are getting
mad, that might be a sign too.” Then he got
quiet and shook his head at me and walked
away mad mumbled something like “What the
heck is wrong with him?”

Sometimes people think that I am crazy because
I use math in normal everyday conversations.

I have seen even my dad take a normal incident
that my mom may have and talk about maybe her
medication might have to be changed.

To me it’s so easy to determine what are signs
and what aren’t signs. I have a flow chart in my
head. Actually I cheated, for a year, I used
these worksheets and checklists that I made
to teach myself how to know what are signs
and aren’t signs.

But even if I didn’t have any worksheets or checklists,
I would know that a person with bipolar disorder
or any person will have normal emotions and
I wouldn’t want to medicate someone into a robot.

So, the bottom line is, you have to have realistic
expectations about what medication can do. It’s
best to talk it over with your loved one’s doctor
about what to expect.

Do NOT expect medication to create a perfect person
who never gets mad, sad, etc. That won’t happen.

I hope this all make sense to you.

If you are wondering about my checklists, they
are in my supporter courses/systems.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

Dave

Hi,

What a day it was yesterday for me. My
blog was broken for half the morning
and finally I got it fixed.

Anyway, today I want to keep it short
and tell you about this technique
you MUST avoid letting happen to
you. You must avoid this like
the bird flu.

As a side note, the saying you use
to be “Avoid that like the plaque.”
We haven’t had a plaque in a whole
lot of years so I thought that I would
be a trend setter and start saying “avoid
that the like bird flu.”

Okay, back to the story. I have been
writing this week on strategies that
I talk about in my courses/systems
but I am doing them day by day so
you can digest and understand them
hopefully. If there aren’t too
many typos. My courses/systems
are edited but these daily emails
are only edited by me. They are live
and sent first thing in the morning.

They take me more than a hour to
plan and write and it’s the first
thing I do. Then I go to the gym
normally. I am committed to helping
you and your loved one cope and
deal with bipolar disorder. I hope
you enjoy this information because
I put a lot of time into it.

So, on to the strategy. I have found
that people who have bipolar disorder
AND people who go into episodes and
aren’t in the treatment, commonly
use a technique I call “the snow job”
or “the smokescreen.”

When I first started there were a few
people that worked for me with bipolar
disorder that were super creative and
smart but not in the right treatment
plan. They were a disaster most of the
time. They never did anything on time
and caused a lot of problems for me.

Let me demonstrate how the technique
worked.

Dave: Amy, where’s the assignment? It’s
already two weeks late.

Amy: Why are you attacking me. Every
time I write something, you always attack
me and say that I do a bad job. Oh and
by the way, did you know that I caught
Jody plagiarizing material. Did you know
that? I bet you didn’t even know. Want
me to tell you how?

Dave: Oh, sure.

Then I would focus on Jody but not
the issue at hand which was why Amy
didn’t finish her project.

My mom has used this technique countless
times on me. We have been in situations
where I HAD to talk to my mom about point
a, and then she will bring up point b
which appears to be important but is not
connected to her. This way I focus on point
b and NOT point a. It creates a diversion
and that’s why I call it the snow job or
the smokescreen.

Overtime, if you keep getting diverted you
never can talk about the central issues related
to bipolar disorder. Eventually, disaster sets
in. With my mom she would cause my dad and myself
to always be talking about and focused on everything
other than how to setup systems to manager her
bipolar disorder.

She also use to talk about being “attacked” by
us or “screamed” at by us even though we
never did. In the old days before I taught
my dad this, he would want to talk to my
mom about let’s say the massive spending and
my mom would say “stop yelling at me, why are
you attacking me?” My dad would then, talk
really, really, really, really, really low
and then my mom would say over and over
why are you attacking me. My dad then would
start to defend himself that he wasn’t attacking
her and then eventually would forget what
is original goal or point was–which was to
talk to her about the spending.

This happen to me so many times. Then I got
hip to this scheme and here’s what I did.

I set one thought in my head.
I realized that my mom would probably use a
snow job on me.
I engaged a conversation with her.
When she used the snow job, I only focused on
the mission at hand and that’s it.
I then if I had to wrote her therapist a letter
and let me mom know.
I then told my mom that I knew what she was
doing and it was wrong and that I would not
forget my point and I would only focus on
that point and nothing else

I also made a list of important points
on an index card and crossed them off only
when the issue had been dealt with and covered
completely.

Today this is barely a problem for us based
on the techniques that I just outlined. AND,
don’t think “poor Dave’s mom.” My mom is happy
I do these things.

Some people with bipolar disorder think like
I am running some kind of dictatorship which
I am not. I don’t have to help my mom at all
I could walk away like my brother did.

I help her because I want to. She knows that
she needs support and NOT codependency or handouts.
She knows she is an adult and I should not and
will not do everything for her. BUT, she also
knows that when I use these techniques it’s
in her own best interest because if she
goes “way off”, it only hurts her.

She realizes this AFTER any sort of episode.

If you are a supporter, you will learn in my courses/
systems about this and more.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

If you are a supporter, you have to be a tough
person with thick skin. Here’s why. When the
person you are supporting is in a bipolar
disorder episode, he or she will say one thing
that is really generally the opposite of what
you should be doing. Then when the person
is out of the episode, he/she will say the
opposite of what they originally said. So
you have to ignore what the person is first
saying to you and do what you think is
right and best.

I hope that make sense.

Let me give you an example. There is a
person who works for me, who does a great
job. She has bipolar disorder. She went
into an episode. She told her husband she
was fine she didn’t want to go to the
hospital. She was all mad at him. He got
her into the hospital using a technique
that’s rather complicated to explain
via email but it’s in my bipolar supporter
course, anyway, now today after a week,
she is happy he did it. Before she
was not.

Well I have to run. Have a great day.

Dave

Hi,

How’s it going? I have to make this kind of
short today because I have an 8:30am appointment
and it’s 7:45am already.

Today I wanted to talk briefly about a concept
I cover in my courses/systems called “The
Bipolar Emergency” and how I deal with
it.

Here’s the situation. With bipolar disorder,
it’s a mood disorder. So it affects people’s
moods. I know that. I see it live and in
action with a) my mom b) all the people
who work with me who have bipolar disorder
and c) people who I know with bipolar disorder.

It’s a tough thing to deal with sometimes. But,
if I look in the case of working with people with
bipolar disorder, I have found the few times
there are situations and mini episodes are minor
in comparison to the great job they do on the
other hand. BUT, keep in mind, the people who
work for me, have gone through a multi step
screening process so I must admit, the are
the best of the best.

Anyway, I was thinking yesterday of how
I use to get so mad about the bipolar
emergency that would happen all the
time to myself and my family.

What’s a bipolar emergency you might be
wondering.

Well it’s one of two things. The one that
is super annoying is when something
that is NOT and I repeat NOT important
or an emergency is made to seem as it
is.

The second bipolar emergency is the one that
IS important or an emergency.

Let me explain so you don’t think that
I am crazy.

As a side note, I had to tell Jen who
doesn’t have a mental illness that she
has to be perfect for the rest of her
life working with me because if she
does anything wrong, people will think
she is crazy like they write me and tell
me when I make a mistake, have a typo,
etc.

She laughed.

Anyway, let me use an example with my
mom. My mom, when she wasn’t in the right
treatment and wasn’t stable would call
me about something that was an emergency,
crisis or major problem.

If I didn’t respond, I would get 25 phone
calls that compelled me to respond. When I
found out what it was, the problem didn’t
seem like an emergency to me but to her
it was. She demanded that I take action
of some kind. Generally it was doing
something like paying a bill, calling
someone or going somewhere.

EVERY single time, it was a MAJOR and I mean
MAJOR burden on me. The simplest things
turned into emergency that required all
my help.

It use to drive me crazy. Right after I got
out of college 1999 through let’s say
2005 there were so many bipolar
emergencies it was ridiculous.

BUT, then on the other hand, there was
one real bipolar emergency which was
when my mom cut her foot in the kitchen
and had to be taken to the hospital.

Other than that, every other bipolar
emergency wasn’t an emergency. What happen
was that we were always running around
doing things for my mom, putting out
fires, fixing things, spending money
to fix problems year after year.

My dad said he had done it for decades.

When I told him I was going to write this
to you today, he told me all these stories
how he had to seriously walk in snow to
get to a certain place to do something
for mom OR how he had to skip work,
cancel business meetings, turn down
deals for work, etc. because of all
these emergencies.

When I stepped in with my new system
that I speak about in my material, I cut
all of this out.

I told my mom, she had to fix her own problems
and take personal responsibility for thing
things

I also stopped urgently returning non emergency
phone calls right away. I finally figured out
the reason my mom did this to me when she
was in an episode was because it worked.

If you call me a 25 times to get me to
run around with my head cut off to fix
a problem of your own, and I do fix
the problem, then next time, you
do the same thing because the strategy
has been proven to work.

There was one time, that I got so mad at
myself. It was this year. My mom had a
bad day early this year. And she found
out that her current insurance was not
going to be working with this major
hospital. So the insurance expert person
recommended we change to another health
insurance carrier and all would be
perfect with her bipolar disorder.

He then sent her 3 options on which ones
to choice and that was fine. She made a
choice and then my dad and I made a choice
and we all agreed on the same plan.

Then we had weeks to get the paperwork in.
So my mom who is excellent at filling out
paperwork, a gene I certainly didn’t get.

SIDE NOTE: My mom can be in a major episode
and fill out paperwork perfectly. I have no
idea why. And she can edit perfectly in an
episode as well. I can’t do either when I am
not in an episode and I don’t have bipolar
disorder. Hmmm? If you are a researcher on
my list, research that and let me know what
you come up with 🙂

Anyway back to the health insurance and
bipolar disorder story. After we agreed
on the plan, my mom filled out the paperwork
in one day.

Then she wanted me to sign it. I couldn’t
because I had things to do and wasn’t around
I told her I would come by to sign it at the
end of the week. It was the beginning of the
week. We had like 3 weeks to get it in.

Here’s where the bipolar emergency started. My mom
then called me at least 10 times in one day to
fill it out. She then told me how it had to be sent
in in three days. That was the deadline. She then
cast total doom on the situation saying if
it wasn’t in, like 17 bad things would happen
and then getting health insurance at the current
rate would be impossible.

She put all these negative things in my head
through voicemails and phone calls. I was
super annoyed. I called my dad and asked if
he knew the deal. He said no but he said
it didn’t make any sense that we went from
three weeks to three days. Of course he asked
me to deal with my mom.

YES for all you therapists on the list, I am totally
aware that this is not right and my dad shouldn’t
be putting this stuff on my. But that’s another
problem for another day and when you are running
4 businesses you have to prioritize. I say
this because I know I will get at least 100 comments
from therapists on my list, telling me about how
that’s not right with my dad
and pointing out how we need to all go to therapy
together :).

Okay back to the story, I couldn’t call the insurance
expert person because he was out of town. My mom
claimed she spoke to him right before he left
and he gave her this “new” information.

She then left message saying they (my parents)
were not going to have health insurance and
that I didn’t care about them.

I was so confused and so tired of getting all
these phone calls, my mom finally broke
my will and I drove from a meeting really
fast to her house to sign all the stuff.

I didn’t let it go there

After a few days of getting caught up with
work, I did a careful investigation and
found that:

a) there we no emergency
b) we had weeks to get the paperwork in
c) there was no rush
d) my parents were not in danger of never having
health insurance again
e) The rates were not going to go up if
we got the paperwork in after three days.

I was super mad. But at who? Me not my
mom. I let my mom create another fake bipolar
emergency. I also was pressured into signing
papers I didn’t let go through my normal
policy of allowing at least a week to
go by to catch anything bad that will work
against me.

I can tell you over the years, my family
mad so many bad mistakes because of the
rush of coming to a decision. For some
reason, major decisions always went along
with my mom being in an episode and her
bipolar disorder caused her to not think
correctly. My dad would just go along
with her to get along and every time
it produced a disaster.

My parents are still paying for the disastrous
decisions years and decades ago today. It’s
sad.

I write this to you the support and the person
with bipolar disorder to not let this happen
to you.

I am NOT saying that you ignore all of what
your loved one might tell you. There may be
real emergencies with bipolar disorder but
I have personally found that 98% of the
time, the thing my mom thinks is an emergency
is not.

At this point with me, and this is for me
only, and don’t bother writing that what
I am not about to say would not work on you
if you have bipolar disorder, I do NOT
respond to the vast majority of things
my mom calls emergencies.

That has worked great for me. I know that
I will get flooded with hate mail saying
I am mean, evil, a bad person, God hates
me, on and on and on because I told you
this. Nobody tells you this kind of thing.
Look at all the books out there. You never
see this kind of stuff.

BUT you need to know it.

Since I changed my policy and so has my dad,
my mom solves her own problems and there are
far less bipolar emergencies. And anytime
my mom has a serious problem she knows
she has to sell me on it. And she knows
if it’s a problem she could handle herself
and she involves me, I will be mad and then
the chance of me listening the next time is
close to zero.

So she doesn’t abuse me. It works for me. I know
that I will hear from people with bipolar
disorder how this is just so mean but it works
for supporters. I am not saying it’s going to
work for everyone.

WHAT’S MY MOM SAY ABOUT THIS?

She told me that she feels better about herself
that she can fix her own problems, she is
says she is sorry over the years she pressured
us into bad decisions and she says she is happy
that I don’t do everything for her. She told
me she wants to fix her own problems and
not be a burden.

So she is okay with it. This is a strategy
that I cover a length in my courses/systems.
And if you have bipolar disorder and you are
reading this and saying, “I don’t want to
do this to my family, what can I do?” You can
take a look at my course/system for those
with bipolar disorder.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com/

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net/

Have a great day.

Your Friend,

Dave

P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/

P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com/

Hi,

How are you? What’s new. Today I wanted to
share another technique that I use when supporting
my mom with bipolar disorder.

First let me make a comment that my mom knows
that I write all these emails and she agreed
to let me do it. She knows that the only
way for people to find out about bipolar
disorder and how to support someone is for
someone like me to write about it.

My dad knows as well. He is not clear
on how people like yourself find people
like me and how emails really work but
he thinks it’s a great idea. I have
gotten a few people writing me and saying
that I should say bad things about my mom
and her bipolar disorder.

My comment to this is, if everyone keeps
pretending that bipolar disorder is not
a serious illness and if every site
simply talks about the same old things
and doesn’t talk about the real realities
of the illness, more and more destruction
with happen with families because of bipolar
disorder.

Okay on with the question. There’s a way
that people who have bipolar disorder AND
are in episodes and not engaged in the
right treatment, do.

Let me give you a case study that happen
to me my mom’s last mini episode.

Mom: I need money to pay my taxes

Dave: No response.

Mom: I need money to pay my taxes (crying
starts)

Dave: No response.

Mom: Do you know that taxes are due and I
don’t have enough money (crying stops, new
strategy of trying to be “business like”
starts).

Dave: I look puzzled like she is speaking
another language.

NOTE-I have paid my mom’s taxes for like
6 or 7 years in a row and told my mom
she had to pay her own taxes. I told her at
the end of LAST year. She had more than 365
days of notice. And it’s not like she making
25 million a year and has tons of taxes to
pay. We are talking $300+.

Mom: Fine! I can’t believe you are going
to let me not pay my taxes. I am going to
go to jail. You don’t even care. I will
pay them myself since you didn’t. You said
you would. I am going to get a job and work
all day and night to make enough money.

That won’t help me stay stable. I hope
I don’t get sick again.

Dave: Okay. And I walk away.

My mom follows me.

Mom: You don’t even care if I get
sick, or if I go and work myself into
being sick. You are a terrible son.
You are mean. If I get sick, it’s
your fault.

Dave: Silence

Yelling starts. Then I feel it’s time to
use the “Call Her Bluff Technique”

Dave: Well, if you go and do something
stupid with a job and get off your disability,
lose your part time job, go into a big
episodes, create all kinds of drama, etc.
etc. etc. then I will let my system catch
it OR I will call 911 and you will be put
in the hospital. I will make sure that
YOU not dad is charged for the ambulance
visit and you have to pay for the hospital
in small payments forever. So go ahead
and do it. Make yourself sick. It doesn’t
matter to me one way or another.

Mom: She is all mad at me and then storms
away.

LATE THAT DAY

My dad calls and tells me my mom worked out
a payment plan with the IRS and how she
was on the phone talking to them laughing
like they were best friends. She will
be paid off in like 2 months according
to my dad.

She did none of the threats she promised.

My dad then informs me how anytime my mom
made threats using her bipolar disorder
he would do whatever it took to avoid the
threat. He is amazed how I am unfazed by
these threats.

If you are supporting someone with bipolar
disorder, I am sure that you have heard this
type of thing. If you reread what I wrote,
notice all the manipulation. Back in the
day, I would freak out and it would work on
me.

How do you think I lost over $250,000 with
my mom and why do you think I paid her taxes
6 or 7 years in a row. I always did because
she would cry and say something really bad
would happen if I didn’t pay her taxes and
I would get worried and pay them.

In addition to all the other things I was
doing for so many years. These days, I am
unfazed by this type of manipulation.

I almost always call my mom’s bluff.

OH, if you are out of the country, calling
one’s bluff means let me think how I explain
it.

A bluff is something that’s not true. To call
it means to see if the person will do what he/she
says they will do. In the case with my mom,
I knew she wasn’t going to go get a job,
ruin her disability or drive her self back into
the hospital by working 24 hours a day. So
I challenged her to do it.

Today I will get lots of hate mail for sure.
I will get things say I am mean and mean
to people with bipolar disorder. They will
yell at me. Here’s the deal if you have bipolar
disorder. First, I have 8 or 9 people with
bipolar disorder who work for me. AND, I am
hiring more. So I do NOT hate people with
bipolar disorder.

Everyone who works for me, knows what I write.
They know it’s the truth and they know people
who have the disorder who are in episodes and
not engaged in the right treatment with a good
doctor/therapist do the things I write about.

If you are “so angry I can’t even see straight”,
you probably aren’t engaged in the right treatment
and that’s why you are mad at me. The thousands
on this list that are following the right
treatment write me notes of encouragement.

Okay enough with that.

DISCLAIMER

I am not a doctor, therapist, lawyer,
accountant or anything else. These techniques
work for me. You should use them at your discretion.
Check with your doctor, therapist, family doctor,
lawyer, etc. before trying them.

WARNING!
Take ALL suicide statements seriously. If a loved
one mention suicide call the doctor, 911, police,
etc or who or whatever you call in your country.
YOU MUST TAKE ALL SUICIDE THREATS 100% SERIOUSLY

Let me say that again.

YOU MUST TAKE ALL SUICIDE THREATS SERIOUSLY AND
CALL A DOCTOR/Hospital/911 Or emergency services.

ALL THE TIME! No exceptions. Take all these
threats even the small mention seriously. Some
say up to 20% of people with bipolar disorder
attempt suicide. I think everyone who works
for me with bipolar disorder has attempted suicide
over the years at least once. Take this seriously!

Actually, here’s an assignment for you. Find out
who and what you call for the threat of suicide
and bipolar disorder today. Go do that and then
make yourself a plan.

This is one of the things that I teach in my
systems/courses you can check out:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com/

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net/

Well I have to run, I hope you enjoyed the lesson.
I have a million things I have to do so I have to
take off for the day.

Your Friend,

Dave

P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/

P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com/

Hi,

How’s it going? Yesterday I got a call from a VERY
intelligent lady who wanted to talk to me
about my course. She was wondering if it’s
new information or simply a rehash of books
that are in the store. I told her that I never
really learned anything on bipolar disorder
from the books in the store except one.

Anyway, we were talking about a number of things
related to supporting someone with bipolar disorder,
and something came to mind.

Our conversation led me to think about something
I have never touched in my daily emails.

I like to call it Bipolar Bait. You may
be thinking, “Did Dave just say Bait or
is that one of his famous typos in his daily
emails??”

Yes I said bait. Bipolar bait. If you are
new to my list, you may be thinking:

I am crazy
I have bipolar disorder
I am strange
Maybe this list isn’t for me
What’s wrong with this guy
Etc.

Okay, this is serious stuff. If you are new to
the list, I promise this is good information :).

Here’s the deal. Let me describe how I discovered
what bipolar bait is. Actually I made up the name
one day when I was waiting for my mom to come
out of the doctor’s office because I was bored
and didn’t have anything to do.

You see, I have found that when a person is
in an episode with bipolar disorder, they
say things that cause YOU the supporter to
react, get mad, argue, get emotionally worked
up, etc. I call this bipolar bait.

When my mom was in her big episode, my dad
called me in to “help.” So when I arrived,
my mom was screaming and yelling and all
over the place. Over the coming months, I
discovered that my mom would say stuff to
me that would cause me to engage her, get
mad, get angry, cause me to argue and waste
a ton of my time.

Normally I am a super fast learner but in this
case, I took the bipolar bait, day after day,
week after week, month after month for a long
time. I am sure that it subtracted years off
my life.

My mom would say something like:

“You’re a terrible son, I can’t believe
you are doing this to me.”

I would explain how I wasn’t, I didn’t mean
to do whatever I supposedly did, why I was
sorry on and on.

“You just want to put me in the hospital forever…
you don’t love me.”

I would explain this wasn’t true for hours and
hours.

I did this for so many days that as I write this,
my head hurts from thinking about it.

It took so long to figure out this was bait.
I got the idea from fishing. In fishing you
use bait to get the fish. Bait can be a
wide variety of things but sometimes it’s
a worm.

NOTE-I have to explain what fishing is, some
people might not know, don’t make fun of them either
we have a diverse group with 90,000 people on this
list.

Okay, so you use the worm which is bait. Fish
like worms and when you put the worm, which is on
a hook in the water some fish bite on it and then
they get hooked and eventually become dinner
for someone or lunch or maybe breakfast.

When smart fish see fishing bait they
say:

“Hey, I am in the middle of
a lake and there’s a worm. Hmmm. That doesn’t
make any sense to me. Too good to be true,
I better stay away. My buddy ate one of those
floating worms the other day and I haven’t
seen him since then. This is bad and I should
stay far away. I wonder what happen to my
buddy?”

Now with bipolar bait, I find it’s one of the
most destructive things ever. And it’s not
just my mom. Bipolar disorder is a mood
disorder. It affects people’s moods. For reasons
that seem to be unknown to science, people
with bipolar disorder, sometimes try to
draw you into conflict, arguments, emotional
stuff, co-dependency, etc.

You have to watch you and avoid this like the
plague. Don’t be like me and do this for about
a year and almost have a stroke at a young
age.

I am serious, when you get “hooked” into these
conversations, it’s a huge waste of time.

HUGE!

Just me sending this email and reminding you
of the bipolar bait will be helpful. Think of
the fish. The dumb one and the smart one
and you will laugh the next time your loved
one with bipolar disorder throws out some
bipolar bait.

You’ll think, “Hey I am the smart fish,
I am not going to take a worm in the middle
of the lake.” Which really means you will
not engage in things your loved one says
that “hook” you into conflict or can
be turned around against you.

That’s another part of the bipolar disorder
bait. My mom would say stuff to me.

I want to use my c.redit cards, because
I need my medication. Give them to me.

ME: Mom, that’s not a good idea, you have
way too much d.ebt, on your c.redit cards,
why not pay in cash.

HER: Are you saying you don’t want me to
get my medication.

OLD ME: No! What I am say, is blah blah blah
(2 hours go by).

NEW ME: I would not respond and would walk
away.

In the old days, when I said something, it
was twisted and then turned around on me. OR
my mom would get me to say things that, if
taken out of context would sound really mean.

EXAMPLE:

Her: I don’t have money to pay my taxes. What
am I going to do (crying starts).

Me: Mom it’s $345 in taxes you have the money. Or
make a payment plan or something. I am tired of
paying your taxes.

Her: You don’t care? I need that money for
medication. You won’t pay it for me, what
kind of son are you.

Then my mom would repeat this over and over and
over. For like 1 hour.

Me: I am NOT paying your taxes. Period. Forget
it. Pay your own taxes. You knew that you had
to pay them. It’s your responsibility.

Her: I am going to go to jail if I don’t pay
my taxes.

Me: I don’t care but I am not paying them.

HER: I can’t believe you want me in jail.
(Crying starts again)

Normally at this point, my head would feel like
it was going to explode.

THIS IS A TRUE CONVERSATION

Notice the manipulation. Notice the bipolar
bait. Notice how my mom got me to say
I don’t care. Which then she would take that
statement out of context and tell EVERYONE
on the planet.

Her: David said he wants me in jail.

As I write this, I am laughing. It’s not funny
but it is. I have to laugh sometimes or I will
have a stroke.

Anyway, I hope you get the point about bipolar
bait. As a supporter, as you move forward try
to catch yourself. Think of the dumb fish and
don’t be one.

I know I am going to get hate mail from people
with bipolar disorder for sure. They are going
to write me:
I hate you. I am not like that.
You are a liar. You’re going to hell. You write lies
I can’t believe you are writing stuff like this
about me.

You have no idea how I stick my neck out writing
this stuff. With 90,000 people on my list, I get
flooded with complaints from people with bipolar
disorder who are ill. They get all mad at me.

Then in a week, they write back and say I am
a cool guy. I know the deal. I know it’s a
mood disorder. But most importantly, I know
that all the supporters out their need
to hear this information.

There are so many skills to learn with bipolar
disorder, whether you are supporting a loved
one or have it yourself.

If you need help:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

I have to run. Have a great day.

Your Friend,

Dave

P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/

P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com/

Hi,

I am running late today. It sure it hard to get up
at 6:00am on a Saturday morning. Oh well at least
I am young and I will bounce back (that’s
what older people tell me anyway).

Today I wanted to share a huge lesson with
you related to bipolar disorder. Actually
I was thinking about it yesterday when
I got a call. Actually if you tried to
call me yesterday I had 57 messages.
Two of my phone voicemails were 100% full.
It’s not because of anything related to
bipolar disorder or my mom but because
of a big problem I am having in one of
my businesses that I use to support this
organization.

Anyway that’s not important to you unless
you tried to call which some did in regards
to the job positions I posted online. If
you did, and couldn’t leave a message yesterday,
today you can.

Okay I am going to ask you…

ARE YOU MAKING THIS MISTAKE WITH YOUR LOVED ONE
WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Yesterday I got a call from someone. She wanted
to return one thing she got from me. She
asked, where do you send it back. I told her.
Then since I get virtually no returns because
my material is really good if I do say so
myself (NO, this isn’t a sign that I have
a personality disorder where the person says
his/her work is good LOL).

She said it was good but her brother said
to send it back immediately. She said
the brother didn’t want her to have it.

NOTE-She is the supporter, the brother
has bipolar disorder.

I was totally shocked. I thought I was
confused, I asked “So, your brother
has bipolar disorder?” She said yes.

I said, “And he doesn’t want you to have
my material related to bipolar disorder?”

She said yes. I said, “And he has bipolar
disorder which is a mental illness and a
mood disorder and he is probably in an
episode and you are listening to him, because?”

She didn’t reply. Then all of a sudden she said
“I gotta go, he’s coming. bye” and she hung
up.

It was the strangest thing ever. I sat in my
chair amazed. I had some many thoughts
related to bipolar disorder going through
my head. It sure didn’t help me when I had
to do some consulting with one of my other
businesses where I was suppose to be talking
about China and it’s growth prospects through
consumer direct marketing.

Anyway, I though all day about this. Things like:

How do you let the person with bipolar disorder
dictate what information you as a supporter
should have

Why did she tell her brother she had the material
if he would get mad

Why didn’t she just say I sent it back and
really keep it (NO, I am not in it for the
money I am saying this so the woman had
some information to take control of the
situation).

I wonder what’s going to happen to her

I wonder if he has hit her, she sounded
really afraid when she said “He’s coming.”

Should I have put a bigger disclaimer in my
material that says “CONSIDER NOT telling
your loved one about this package if
you even think he/she will get mad at
you.” I already have this now you
know if you got my courses/systems
but I wonder if it should be bigger.

I must say, I was AMAZED. So amazed
I called a number of people and told
them what happen.

I called my dad and he said something
that was really strange to me.

Take a wild guess what he said and
then scroll down….

SCROLL PLEASE….

My dad said to me “I use to do the same
thing. I know exactly what she is thinking
and it’s wrong. That’s one reason I
never could beat this in 40 years. I
let your mother dictate to me whenever
she was in an episode. I always listened
to her no matter what she said even if
it was wrong.

My dad told me to call the lady back and
tell him his story. I said, “Dad I can’t
I don’t make unsolicited phone calls
like that.”

He said to me “Tomorrow you should tell
your people on your thing take control
of the situation when your loved one
has bipolar disorder and is an episode.
And when you know in your heart something
is good for them, do it.”

First my dad calls you all “my people.”
He calls my newsletter list “that thing.”
He doesn’t get the entire internet thing.
It’s a mystery to him.

Anyway as I look back, he is right. There
were so many times my dad bent to my mom’s
bipolar disorder.

When my mom was in a bipolar disorder
episode over the years:

We didn’t eat together because she said
no

We didn’t have vacations because she said
no

She was allowed to scream and yell at us
as little kids. My dad didn’t stop her or
know how to

She spends tons and tons of money

Getting more and more cred.it c.ards

Getting more and more shopping catalogs
to buy more and more things from

She quit jobs and then we had no health
insurance and had to get on plans that cost
a ton until she got another job only to
do the same thing over again

I couldn’t go over certain friends houses
because my mom said no for no reason

My mom wouldn’t let my dad talk to her
doctor. NOTE-Now I have a 100% guaranteed
way to talk to a loved one’s doctor
even if no permission is given. It’s in my
supporter course/system.

My mom threw my brother out of the house
at the age of 18. For no reason. She was
in a major episode.

The list goes on and on and on.

I remember when I was applying to college
my mom went into an episode and demanded
that I got to a 2 year county college instead of
a top 4 year school. It made no sense at all.

Thanks to my brother I went to the right
school. Today my mom thanks him as well
because she says she was sick then and
not thinking right. If my brother didn’t
step in, I would have gone to county. My
dad would not have said a word.

My dad didn’t say anything. My brother stepped
in and blasted my mom. My brother at the time was
330 pounds and a really big football player.

For whatever reason, my mom’s bipolar disorder
never yells at my brother. It’s really strange.
After my brother was thrown out of the house
and got bigger and bigger. My mom never
yelled at him. Ever in an episode.

It’s like her bipolar disorder knows
who to do what with. My dad is 280 but
way out of shape. That’s being kind. He is
shorter than my brother. My mom has and
did scream him into submission in episodes.

With me, screaming doesn’t work. She could
scream, yell and say all kinds of things
and it doesn’t work. I noticed with time,
in episodes she would scream at my dad
and cry with me.

Honestly it all makes it look like it’s an
act even though it’s not. My aunt thinks
it is. I on the other hand believe that
it’s not. I believe that mental illness
is so complex we can’t figure out why
the people do what the do. There is
no clear explanation. So if you are looking
for one, you are probably going to frustrate
yourself. Once you know something is
the way it is, just deal with it. Don’t
try to know the why.

Anyway, back to the story. The big lesson
is, if you are supporting a loved one
with bipolar disorder and this person
is an episode, you can’t let them dictate
to you what should be done. This is a mental
illness. a Mind illness. A mood disorder.

Does it make any sense to let someone not
in his/her right mind to make decisions?
No it doesn’t.

And I know I am going to get flooded with
hate mail from some people with bipolar disorder
that say I am going to hell, I am a horrible
person because I said this. Some with
bipolar disorder think they should be able
to do whatever they want, whenever they
want when they are in episodes. That makes
no sense.

My mom today is happy that I didn’t let her
destroy herself, not go to the hospital,
keep spending on her credit cards. A month
ago, she thanked me. Here’s the email I got:

From:
Sent: Monday, April 30, 2007 2:30 PM
To: David Oliver
Subject: Good News

Chase credit card statement came in today and all
that is owed is $156.56. I have been trying to pay
this off for over 25 years.

Thanks to your help-this will be the second card
paid off since 2004.

I appreciate you making this system for me to
get out of de.bt even though I didn’t want
it at first. It is a challenge sometime
but I have learned from you how important
it is to watch those pennies and save them.
Also, do no use credit cards-I do not like
to touch them-they make me nervous.
-Mom

Actually when my mom got out of the hospital
I took away all her c.redit cards. It was
tough. My dad wouldn’t do it. He was afraid.
He asked me to. Which is fine. And yes
this doesn’t make 100% sense for me to
do but not him and that certainly DOES mean
he has some issues since he gets me
to do these things. I know I know for
all the therapists reading this.

Anyway I did and my mom went ballistic. She
called and cried and said I was taking
away her dignity. She called everyone
and said I was a terrible son and evil.

It never phased me. She didn’t get them.

I then created a system to help her get
out of debt. It’s actually here
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/debtletter

She has done a GREAT job. She will
be out of d.ebt by the end of the year. First
time in 30 years according to my dad. She
paid off $30,000 d.ebt by herself.

As you can tell, she is happy with my
system :). I worked hard at it.

Anyway, bottom line is, don’t let the person
ill dictate what you are going to do. They
will want you to NOT do anything to help
them when they are in bipolar disorder
episodes and sick. Remember that.

You can’t ask them when they are sick. Do
what you think is right. I feel bad for the
lady that I spoke to yesterday. She is probably
doomed to failure with her loved one. He was
probably destroy her over time. Sad but
true.

Well I have to run. If you want more information
on how to effectively supporting someone
with bipolar disorder or you need help for
yourself. Take a look at my stuff if you want.
I am not pushing it on you. It’s just an option.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

See you tomorrow.

Your Friend,

Dave

P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/

P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com/

How’s it going? I wanted to drop you a quick note. I just
got back from a speaking thing I did on Bipolar Disorder.

It went great. I was really happy. I spoke with two other
speakers who also did great. One person’s wife has
bipolar disorder. The other girl that spoke, had
bipolar disorder. And then there was me. I think I did
a good job :).

I took good notes and I am going to be emailing them
to you for f.ree over the next few days so it would
almost be like you were there with me. Lots of
good stuff for you related to bipolar disorder.

Okay be on the look at this.

One more thing, when I got back today and had a lot of
questions about my courses related to bipolar disorder.
I have three of them which are for three different groups.

Also, there was some confusion on the pricing for
the supporter course. It’s all fixed now.

If you are interested, please take a look at the following
sites:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

Thanks and have a great day.

Dave

Here is the current Bipolar Disorder news.

http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews324

Here are some of the headlines:

Actress tells of struggles with bipolar, getting help

Antidepressants can’t aid bipolar depression

Bipolar challenge: decisions

Kennedy finishes probation for car crash

Get all the news and more by visiting:

http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews324

My Resources For Bipolar:

Quickly And Easily Explain Bipolar To People
Go here for more information.
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/explainingbipolar

Need Money Because Of Bipolar Disorder?
Go here for more information
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarbusiness

Dating Someone With Bipolar?
Go here for more information
http://www.BipolarCentral.com/bipolardating

Want To Marry Someone Who Has Bipolar?
Go here for more information
http://www.BipolarCentral.com/bipolarmarriage/

Need Affordable Health Insurance When Dealing With
Bipolar Disorder?
Go here for more information
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/insuranceguide/

Problems With Drugs, Alcohol And Addiction?
Go here for more information
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolaraddiction/

Trying To PREVENT A Divorce From Someone With Bipolar
Disorder?
Go here for more information:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolardivorce

Your Friend,

Dave