Hi,
I am running late today. It sure it hard to get up
at 6:00am on a Saturday morning. Oh well at least
I am young and I will bounce back (that’s
what older people tell me anyway).
Today I wanted to share a huge lesson with
you related to bipolar disorder. Actually
I was thinking about it yesterday when
I got a call. Actually if you tried to
call me yesterday I had 57 messages.
Two of my phone voicemails were 100% full.
It’s not because of anything related to
bipolar disorder or my mom but because
of a big problem I am having in one of
my businesses that I use to support this
organization.
Anyway that’s not important to you unless
you tried to call which some did in regards
to the job positions I posted online. If
you did, and couldn’t leave a message yesterday,
today you can.
Okay I am going to ask you…
ARE YOU MAKING THIS MISTAKE WITH YOUR LOVED ONE
WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Yesterday I got a call from someone. She wanted
to return one thing she got from me. She
asked, where do you send it back. I told her.
Then since I get virtually no returns because
my material is really good if I do say so
myself (NO, this isn’t a sign that I have
a personality disorder where the person says
his/her work is good LOL).
She said it was good but her brother said
to send it back immediately. She said
the brother didn’t want her to have it.
NOTE-She is the supporter, the brother
has bipolar disorder.
I was totally shocked. I thought I was
confused, I asked “So, your brother
has bipolar disorder?” She said yes.
I said, “And he doesn’t want you to have
my material related to bipolar disorder?”
She said yes. I said, “And he has bipolar
disorder which is a mental illness and a
mood disorder and he is probably in an
episode and you are listening to him, because?”
She didn’t reply. Then all of a sudden she said
“I gotta go, he’s coming. bye” and she hung
up.
It was the strangest thing ever. I sat in my
chair amazed. I had some many thoughts
related to bipolar disorder going through
my head. It sure didn’t help me when I had
to do some consulting with one of my other
businesses where I was suppose to be talking
about China and it’s growth prospects through
consumer direct marketing.
Anyway, I though all day about this. Things like:
How do you let the person with bipolar disorder
dictate what information you as a supporter
should have
Why did she tell her brother she had the material
if he would get mad
Why didn’t she just say I sent it back and
really keep it (NO, I am not in it for the
money I am saying this so the woman had
some information to take control of the
situation).
I wonder what’s going to happen to her
I wonder if he has hit her, she sounded
really afraid when she said “He’s coming.”
Should I have put a bigger disclaimer in my
material that says “CONSIDER NOT telling
your loved one about this package if
you even think he/she will get mad at
you.” I already have this now you
know if you got my courses/systems
but I wonder if it should be bigger.
I must say, I was AMAZED. So amazed
I called a number of people and told
them what happen.
I called my dad and he said something
that was really strange to me.
Take a wild guess what he said and
then scroll down….
SCROLL PLEASE….
My dad said to me “I use to do the same
thing. I know exactly what she is thinking
and it’s wrong. That’s one reason I
never could beat this in 40 years. I
let your mother dictate to me whenever
she was in an episode. I always listened
to her no matter what she said even if
it was wrong.
My dad told me to call the lady back and
tell him his story. I said, “Dad I can’t
I don’t make unsolicited phone calls
like that.”
He said to me “Tomorrow you should tell
your people on your thing take control
of the situation when your loved one
has bipolar disorder and is an episode.
And when you know in your heart something
is good for them, do it.”
First my dad calls you all “my people.”
He calls my newsletter list “that thing.”
He doesn’t get the entire internet thing.
It’s a mystery to him.
Anyway as I look back, he is right. There
were so many times my dad bent to my mom’s
bipolar disorder.
When my mom was in a bipolar disorder
episode over the years:
We didn’t eat together because she said
no
We didn’t have vacations because she said
no
She was allowed to scream and yell at us
as little kids. My dad didn’t stop her or
know how to
She spends tons and tons of money
Getting more and more cred.it c.ards
Getting more and more shopping catalogs
to buy more and more things from
She quit jobs and then we had no health
insurance and had to get on plans that cost
a ton until she got another job only to
do the same thing over again
I couldn’t go over certain friends houses
because my mom said no for no reason
My mom wouldn’t let my dad talk to her
doctor. NOTE-Now I have a 100% guaranteed
way to talk to a loved one’s doctor
even if no permission is given. It’s in my
supporter course/system.
My mom threw my brother out of the house
at the age of 18. For no reason. She was
in a major episode.
The list goes on and on and on.
I remember when I was applying to college
my mom went into an episode and demanded
that I got to a 2 year county college instead of
a top 4 year school. It made no sense at all.
Thanks to my brother I went to the right
school. Today my mom thanks him as well
because she says she was sick then and
not thinking right. If my brother didn’t
step in, I would have gone to county. My
dad would not have said a word.
My dad didn’t say anything. My brother stepped
in and blasted my mom. My brother at the time was
330 pounds and a really big football player.
For whatever reason, my mom’s bipolar disorder
never yells at my brother. It’s really strange.
After my brother was thrown out of the house
and got bigger and bigger. My mom never
yelled at him. Ever in an episode.
It’s like her bipolar disorder knows
who to do what with. My dad is 280 but
way out of shape. That’s being kind. He is
shorter than my brother. My mom has and
did scream him into submission in episodes.
With me, screaming doesn’t work. She could
scream, yell and say all kinds of things
and it doesn’t work. I noticed with time,
in episodes she would scream at my dad
and cry with me.
Honestly it all makes it look like it’s an
act even though it’s not. My aunt thinks
it is. I on the other hand believe that
it’s not. I believe that mental illness
is so complex we can’t figure out why
the people do what the do. There is
no clear explanation. So if you are looking
for one, you are probably going to frustrate
yourself. Once you know something is
the way it is, just deal with it. Don’t
try to know the why.
Anyway, back to the story. The big lesson
is, if you are supporting a loved one
with bipolar disorder and this person
is an episode, you can’t let them dictate
to you what should be done. This is a mental
illness. a Mind illness. A mood disorder.
Does it make any sense to let someone not
in his/her right mind to make decisions?
No it doesn’t.
And I know I am going to get flooded with
hate mail from some people with bipolar disorder
that say I am going to hell, I am a horrible
person because I said this. Some with
bipolar disorder think they should be able
to do whatever they want, whenever they
want when they are in episodes. That makes
no sense.
My mom today is happy that I didn’t let her
destroy herself, not go to the hospital,
keep spending on her credit cards. A month
ago, she thanked me. Here’s the email I got:
From:
Sent: Monday, April 30, 2007 2:30 PM
To: David Oliver
Subject: Good News
Chase credit card statement came in today and all
that is owed is $156.56. I have been trying to pay
this off for over 25 years.
Thanks to your help-this will be the second card
paid off since 2004.
I appreciate you making this system for me to
get out of de.bt even though I didn’t want
it at first. It is a challenge sometime
but I have learned from you how important
it is to watch those pennies and save them.
Also, do no use credit cards-I do not like
to touch them-they make me nervous.
-Mom
Actually when my mom got out of the hospital
I took away all her c.redit cards. It was
tough. My dad wouldn’t do it. He was afraid.
He asked me to. Which is fine. And yes
this doesn’t make 100% sense for me to
do but not him and that certainly DOES mean
he has some issues since he gets me
to do these things. I know I know for
all the therapists reading this.
Anyway I did and my mom went ballistic. She
called and cried and said I was taking
away her dignity. She called everyone
and said I was a terrible son and evil.
It never phased me. She didn’t get them.
I then created a system to help her get
out of debt. It’s actually here
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/debtletter
She has done a GREAT job. She will
be out of d.ebt by the end of the year. First
time in 30 years according to my dad. She
paid off $30,000 d.ebt by herself.
As you can tell, she is happy with my
system :). I worked hard at it.
Anyway, bottom line is, don’t let the person
ill dictate what you are going to do. They
will want you to NOT do anything to help
them when they are in bipolar disorder
episodes and sick. Remember that.
You can’t ask them when they are sick. Do
what you think is right. I feel bad for the
lady that I spoke to yesterday. She is probably
doomed to failure with her loved one. He was
probably destroy her over time. Sad but
true.
Well I have to run. If you want more information
on how to effectively supporting someone
with bipolar disorder or you need help for
yourself. Take a look at my stuff if you want.
I am not pushing it on you. It’s just an option.
SUPPORTING AN ADULT?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
See you tomorrow.
Your Friend,
Dave
P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/
P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com/
Oh my god, finally someone who understands what the he** I’m going through. My mom has bipolar disorder and has, and I’ve let her, verbally abuse me for years. I’m 24 and can’t move out because of seizure disorder. My life along with my father’s and brother’s is a living he** because we don’t know how to deal with her.
can i please have my life back.vickie
Your posting about bipolar persons bullying their loved ones…. I have bipolar…. I think that I may do this… only to me, when I am in an episode and they do this.. I feel like they are trying to be controlling.
hmmmm. something to think about.
My son has bipolar disorder and I can tell when he starts an episode however mild,but stress causes him to kind of go “off” and his behavior starts changing. For the past year he has been under a lot of stress and started behaving differently, he knew how to manipulate me before I really understood his illness, but I now know what not to do when an episode,I didn’t give in to his demands. Although his verbal aggression hurt me as his mother Iknew it wasn’t truly meant, it was the illness talking. Everything now is calm, but is a continued battle. Thank you for your letters.
12:00pm
David my friend I believe you were right to call this young women back
to find out what was really going on. I do not support someone with Bipolar I have Bipolar and a Personality Disorder and am in the thick of running my own business once again. I can not say that all of my decisions are sound but results speak for themselves I opened online in November /2006 and am preparing my own first sight as I write. My other 4 sites are affiliate sites. But my bag of marbles is no the new site which should be online by the end of next week.
Supplemental, The information that I receive from you hase been invaluble and I take it to heart everytime I read it. I reacquired my life back in January 2005 when I decided to stop taking Prozac and know believe that drug was at the root of a lot of my problems. Especially after what I heard on CNN but if your readers are at all in a position my recommendation is to evaluate-evaluate-evaluate.
I’ve been Bi-Ploar for 25 years, and still after many years of medications and therapy I still have no relief. Currently my last three doctors have reccomended Electric Convulsive therapy, finally I decided to accept that this is most likely what I need. Right now I’m in a serious Depression Stage. I have ruined my finances, currently almost lost my home to foreclosure, I have credit cards and catalogs with pre-approved spending limits all hidden in my home. I live in a very small town and they have been unable to get me a room for hospitalization for the “ECT” treatment. I am a rapid cycler and my moods change continuously from one minute to the next. I’m trying to save my marriage, but I know that I am not a easy person to live with. I too will go to screaming at my children, slamming doors, putting my household on eggshells. Then in 2 or 3 days I will sob continuously in front of them for days at a time, with tears running down my face while they try to console me. This is something that young (under 12 or any other age for that matter should have to go through. I read this article and I sobbed for the guilt I feel when I read your past and knowing this is what I’m exposing my children to on a daily basis, and for this there will never be enough “I’m Sorry’s” to undo the damage that I have already exposed them to. My problem is that I’ve now been waiting for three “Extremely” depressed weeks, only to be told that there is no space in the hospital for them to take me in to begin treatment. It took me a very long time to reach the conclusion that this is what I “NEED”. Because I haven’t threatened to hurt myself or others, they are putting my treatment on hold and making me wait. As I wait my depression is getting worse and I feel as if I’m an open wound with salt rubbed in it. I feel empty, crushed, and broken. My heart and soul are crushed, and It only is getting worse day by day. Does ANYONE have a direcion to point me in to help me get the help I need right now. Do I really have to lie and say that I’m going to hurt myself to get Baker Acted to the hospital??????? This illness is so misunderstood and stigmatized, and unless you go through it you will never completely understand how broken you can feel with this disoreder. Please if anyone has any advise, let me know what I can do. I NEED HELP YESTERDAY.
David, I am bipolar and after a suicide attempt last month (my sister made my son call 911 and I went to the hospital but they released me) I decided to really work on getting “better”. I am now seeing a psych and they have switched me from Effexor to Lamictal, and I’m studying up on the disorder. I have had a bad 3 year run where I can’t seem to hold down a job (sometimes can’t leave the house so I call in sick). I am a single mom with no help, so it’s been hard on all 3 of us. Once I get my rent paid (not sure how I’m going to accomplish this) I plan on buying your information. Thanks for putting it out there for all of us!
SOUNDS LIKE ME , I LET MY WIFE DICTATE POLICY , TO MAKE IT WORSE , SHE IS A BAD ALCOHOLIC , WITH BAD BIPOLAR DISORDER , NEED LOTS OF ADVICE , IT`S KILLING ME SLOWLY
To anyone out there with bipolar and a drivers licence, please respond. I am currently trying to teach a young lady to drive who has bipolar. Please give me any advice that you may feel may help. ASAP 🙂
I feel the same way. My husband has it and I take the blunt, but when he is a high mood I just want it to stay there – does that make sense. We walk on egg shells around here because you never know. When I mention getting help or medicines he says I always throw that in his face?? He makes me feel guilty but I finally broke down and talked to someone and they went to talk to him. He agreeded to go to counseling then when he got home he threw the card of the counselor at me and said you make the call before I give up??? Our marriage is great – 80% of the time the other percent it is not because I am afraid of him. At those times I want to leave but am scared what he might do. So here I am depressed and not eating and he was supposed to put money in our personal account, did not now 3 checks have bounced and I’m scared to tell him. I’m not making much money right now and he is but yet he wants to spend his money on his business then stresses about it and then the next day says he’s got to come up w/ $4,000 to buy some equipment he wants for the shop but yet we’re broke right not and do not have it. What do I do??? I want to crawl in a hole right now and sleep… enough because I don’t know what to do and our apt isn’t until the end of the month…. don’t know what more I can do and am about ready to give up. Sorry, but had to vent.
I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder 5+ years ago, even though I can remember back through my life where I have experienced different episodes even when I was in high school. Currently, I am taking several different meds, and I have the sleeping part down pat, but I am having a terrible time when it comes to controlling my spending. Nothing seems to help, except when I know how upset my husband gets, or when he actually yells at me when he sees bills.
Recently, especially, I have noticed it getting out of hand, and I don’t understand why this particular aspect of my bipolar disorder is SO bad. I mean it is nothing for me to justify going out to spend say $100.00 each and every day, or even up to say $1,000.00, and somehow, it seems okay to me. Except my husband has a cow when he sees how much I have spent, even like when I go to the grocery, and don’t even buy anything frivolous, he still has a fit if I “overspend” in his eyes. So he is going to start going with me. But, like I said, lately, especially, I don’t understand why I am doing some of the things I am doing, and they are all linked to money, and spending too much of it.
When I call my psychiatrist, and I asked him if I could talk to him about it, and I explained to him how I was feeling, and the things I have been doing lately with the spending every day thing, and how it’s getting out of hand, and how I’m not understanding myself and why this is happening to me all of a sudden now, and I have been taking all of these meds for so long, and I’m not understanding why my meds aren’t helping in my mental thinking in this area, he just said I have to use self-discipline. Well, let me tell you that is easier said than done. So anyway, I enjoy reading your emails and I can relate to alot of the things you talk about in them. I have had many jobs in my life, and have not been able to hold any of them longer than 4 or 5 years because of my disorder, but at the time I was still working, back before I was actually diagnosed, I didn’t know what the heck was going on with me, I just knew that something wasn’t normal. Now, I am on social security disability for bipolar disorder. So, for all of your people out there that might read this, don’t let anybody tell you it is all in your head, because BELIEVE ME, it is VERY REAL. And it can ruin your life if not treated correctly.
God Bless His Heart, My Wonderful Husband has put up with my crap, and all my ups and downs for 18 years, we just celebrated our 18th wedding anniversary, which is really something for someone with bipolar disorder. And Thank God he loves me, because I have really put him through some bad stuff, especially with my son, who is 20, and is also bipolar, so he has had to deal with both of us. Unfortunately for my son, he doesn’t have any health insurance, so he is is not on any meds or being treated for his bipolar disorder. He is in jail, because he is an addict, which is another problem that can happen very easily with bipolar people, if they are not careful. He is addicted to drugs, and got into the wrong drugs, and into a big mess with the wrong people, and now he is oaying for it with his life for 4 years in prison.
I, on the other hand, am addicted to money, which is my only explanation that I can come up with for my feelings abou the way I spend money. So, being an addict, doesn’t always mean you’re addicted to drugs or alcohol. With being bipolar, you have to be VERY careful, or you can become addicted to almost anything, if you let yourself.
Thanks, David Oliver, for you encouraging emails. At least I know I’m not alone anymore.
jessejames2448@yahoo.com
beavercreek, ohio
In regards to Daves E-Mail. I can totally relate to just letting things go and my bipolor loved one have total control in an episode. I have been living with a bipolar woman for almost four years now and it has absolutely turned my world upside down. I didn’t know that she was bipolar when I met her and she said she didn’t. Regardless the point is that I let her run her course durring her episodes because the alternitive was horible. I was going to leave this person on at least three occasions the first early on in the relationship. It was one of those times I stood up to her. She whent absolutly berserk, manic or whatever you want to call it. She wound up in the hospital and I decided to stay with her and try to help her through this this and one other subsequent hospitalzation got her bipolar diagnosis at the age of 45. My whole point here in regards to Daves E-Mail is that the cosequences of not letting them have control can be devastating and very painfull for all parties involved. I am currently in the process of breaking up with this person because of simular issues. She now has full knowledge of her disease and refuses to go to therapy and misses many doses of her medication. She continues to berate and bilittle, nitpick, start fights, etc, etc All the stuff I hear about from other folks who are involved in this. The worst of it is she considers her behavior ok because of the disorder and I just cant live with that. I stood up and taken tis for the last time.
david..ur a special man x u have n0 agenda..n0 hidden plan x u gave me a place 2stay 4 a while x some stories are sad yet some make me smile x u show us ur strength that is shining s0 bright x and at the end of the tunnel, u pr0ve there is light x We gather our wishes from our maker above and anything is possible when it’s driven by Love!! xbuTTerFly – Londonx
Dear David,
I wish more than anything I could afford your course. I have suffered with this disorder my whole life, and what’s worse, everyone around me has suffered because of it. I love your newsletter, it gives me such hope. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking the time to send it. I wish you much success.
Anne Drake
Man, I have been with my wife almost 29 years I’m 45 she is 43 But in about the last 4 years things have got from real bad to unbelievable the law has got into the picture and I feel all alone and real scared not for myself but for my wife. I cant tell what she is going to do next. I have been reading you 14 lesson course I’m on 11 right now. I am in counseling with her now but we come home and it is still the same. I don’t know what to do ? She won’t even think about this stuff. She says nothing is wrong with her, Remember I lived with her for 29 yrs.
I was raised from age 3 or 4 to 17 by a step-mom who was finally diagnosed as a full-blown paranoid skitzo when I was 17 and before the term ‘bipolar’ was coined. Had it not produced in me a VERY ‘defiant’ streak, I do NOT believe I would have survived the mental and physical abuse she routinely dished out along with all the ‘fits’/temper tantrums she subjected everyone to. Due to educating myself about ‘enabling’ behaviors, ‘dependant/co-dependent’ issues/mechanisms and ‘tough love’, my own personal opinion is that NO ONE is done any favors by allowing their life to be negatively impacted by ‘temper tantrums’ and ‘denials of reality’, INCLUDING the person with the condition.
I just want to say I have Bipolar Disorder Have done so for over 28 years and I am 32 now and the thing that you have to do is to admit you do have this problem and before you can really get help for yourself and then others can help you back that is for you to admit you have this problem in the first place thats what I have learnt
I think my boyfriend is on the verge of having another episode. He had one a little over a month ago, he flipped out because my 6 year old (not his) stepped on his puppy on accident. He went off and started yelling at her and cussing (so loudly I believe the neighbors could have heard him). I tried talking to him but there was no getting through to him, he then started yelling and cussing at me and told me to shut the f*** up and get the f*** out of his house. We left. I really really p***ed at what he did to her. He told me a few days later that he doesn’t want to be a full time parent and he cann’t stand her. He would all the gripe at me about her not being properly disciplined and would tell me she was a bad kid. At the time she was 5, she acts like your typical kid, she is not bad. Well, 6 days after he broke up with me he called me and asked if we could work things out. We talked and it took me 2 days to make up my mind. He told me he would try to spend time with her and he would take his medication (he was not taking it when this happened). He did apologize to my daughter for yelling at her. Things were a little rocky at first, my parents were very upset that it happened in the first place and then I took him back. (We have been together for almost 2 years.) My daughter had a birthday party about a week later. None of my family wanted him there even though his mom and sister were going to be there. After I gave it some thought, I told him to go. I told him it wouldn’t be right for them to do that if we were married (some talk about it). I decided I would do this no matter what cost to my side of the family. My daughter and I were hit by a drunk driver 2 weeks ago, which totalled my car and has left me extremely depressed and carless for the past 2 weeks. It has only been a month since we have been back together. Last week he got mad and started yelling at me because he said I’ve had a bad attitude since my car was wrecked, and told me if I didn’t stop acting like a b*tch he was going to go out with his friend and leave me at home. He doesn’t do this when he is on his medication. He won’t stop drinking no matter how much I tell him it does not help his situation. He talked to his sister today (who is mad at me because of something my daughter may or may not have said, I didn’t hear it) and he called me and told me what was said. He then starts bashing my child again and telling me she is an a** (he has been doing really good with her since this last breakup and not making any remarks) he then asks if I’m going to punish her for this, it happened 2 days ago, I told him he cann’t expect me to do that. He then tells me that blood is thicker than water and he will side with his sister (after all that I have endured from my family for the past month for him) and he is tired of the way my daughter acts and if I don’t do something about it he will break up with me for good this time. He called me last time, said he needed both of us in his life because it makes him normal and now this??? I’m having a really hard time doing this over and over again. I’m about to lose it. What should I do??? Am I making a mistake by staying with him??? I don’t want my daughter hurt in all of this. We are both really close to his family, and to top it off, his sister doesn’t want me or my daughter around anymore. I feel like this whole thing was blown out of proportion. I don’t know what to do. Any advice?? Sorry this was so long but I had to let it out.
Sorry, one more thing, he told me earlier that he did nothing wrong when he yelled at my daughter the way he did and he would stick to that until the day he dies.
I am so happy i got this email it is helping me day by day learn how to deal with my mom better. its so true wasted hours arrguing over something u know ur right about, but this has helped me out alot. My mom has also learned on her own that no matter what i am not trying to hurt her and she does need to be on the medication. I have even foudn out a way i can get hopefully full coverage for her thnx to the canadian government and them seeing how much it costs for people with diabilities to keep supporting them selves and buy the medication. I have been working really hard on helping her along and i think this time it will work and she will stay “level”. “Level” is the word i found most works and it doesn’t make her feel like she is some nut case. So thnk you very much for the help its made me feel so much better knowing that i am not the only one in the world who could not get a straight answer to all the questions and problems going on. But now i can and for that I thank the Good LORD every day.
Dear David, When I read about your Mom,and how your family’s life is- I swear you are writing about my mother-in-law. She gets ECT treatments every 2 weeks,and really should get them even more frequently. She degrades my poor father-in-law to the point that he doesn’t even care anymore if she does go through with her constant threats of killing him. He has put up with this for 57 years,and deserves a medal of bravery. My husband and niece are the only 2 people who can sort of -reason -with her. When she’s good,she’s real good. But when she’s bad- oh Lord help us all. Her licence has been taken away thank God.But she tries to get the keys anyhow. We get so very tired of this dance we all dance around her,even though she is loved and cared for. We often wonder where this game is leading. She also spends money relentlessly. People in their episode should not drive, for their own safety, as well as for others. We took her to her physiatrist’s appt. – and she was in a whole 4 minutes. Yes,only four min’s. They came out to schedule her next appointment, we asked him how she’s doing. He smiled and said oh great she’s doing wonderful- just ask her! And smiled a great big smile! With that I said ok, this guy is a quack alright! But the entire family says he’s keeping her home no? I say at what cost? Thank you so very much for working with this disease. You’ll never know how much we appreciate the work you do to help us. Our prayers are with you and yours, Truly, Wanda
hi.i have bipolar and your information is great. i love to read your emails.Ive looked over your books and stuff and it makes me anxiouse to read it all. If I ever have money again(I have been unable…not unwilling)to work for the last year beacause of bipolar. Im at the end…have to go to court for being behind in child support.I have joint custody,my ex has physical placement.He thinks im a psycho.he doesnt understand bipolar and doesnt want to. anyway,i might go to jail.ive tried over and over to work.I wish i was successful.it hasnt happened.I fail every time. thats me.failure. well anyway,if i ever can i will get your materials.it might be exactly what i need.Something has to give. i want to be as good as i can be.this isnt how i want my life.being this way,and jailm would not be good.im not a dead beat mom.I see my kids regularly,but i cant keep a job to pay my child support. thanks for all your info and emails. sincerely,amy
hi,my name is amy. I have bipolar.it sucks.i love your information and sometime if i ever get money again, i want to order it all!!! im at the bottom.my credit is ruined,i havent worked in a year..not that i dont want to…i try. over and over.i may go to jail for being behind in my child support.i go to court in 3 wks.im not a dead beat mom.i see my kids on a regular basis.i have joint custody,my ex has physical placement.he thinks im psycho.he doesnt understand bipolar and doesnt care. I live with people.they support me. cause im a loser. i wish i wasnt.i want to be the best i can be. i know there has to be the help i need.somewhere. your stuff may be what i need.i hope to find out someday. thank you for all the emails with info.its great. sincerely sick of being sick, amy
im sorry my comment was posed twice. im not great at this.good luck to you all…wether you have bipolar or love someone that does.
I am a 33 year old single mum (Sorry, mom – I’m from Australia) to a 5 year old. Bipolar came between me and my relationship with my ex. My ex has bipolar. In the end, I couldn’t cope with the episodes any longer as my own sanity and life were suffering and that of our son. He hooked up with a new partner within 3 weeks and moved in with her within a few months of us splitting – yet I always cop the episodes! My ex will always be in my life because of our son and therefore the episodes continue – I am the cause of them all according to him. I subscribe/read these so I am educated enough to help my son understand it as he gets older and to help me understand it all, even though I am well aware it’s just another episode, I still rise to the bait. Not anymore!! Thank you David…..
To Robin, yes, blood is thicker than water and your daughter is your flesh and blood – she deserves better and so do you! And no, this is not anything against any bipolar people, some storms have to be weathered and you have to take the good with the bad, but treating your little girl like that is bad. I personally believe though that unless he takes his meds and stops the drinking it will continue for the rest of your life. I KNOW I deserve better than that. Maybe that’s why I’m single? I’m not gonna put up with that. I’d much prefer to raise my son on my own!
My believe my husband is has bipolar but hasn’t been diagnosed. How do you get the person to get diagnosed and get help when they live a life of denial?
His mom is schizo,his sister has been hospitalized 4 times. He tends to get 2-3 hours of sleep a night for nights on end, INCREDIBLE mood swings, irrational behavior and the worst, irratic episodes where he leaves me and our two young boys for days, often weeks at a time with no contact.
He’s been gone for 1 1/2 months now. This is a pattern that’s gotten worse. I am tired of walking on eggshells and our kids and I being abandoned.
Well Hello I am a 57 year old woman who has been married to a 67 year old man since 1970, he cannot read or write due to childhood injuries to his head . I knew something was not quite right over the years but I let him lead me through life, and raising children to now at this age understanding that he MUST BE BIPOLAR we have very little income and no insurance that could have been used for diagnosias anyway up until 15 years ago i finally put my foot down and would not let him lead me back and forth across country at the drop of a hat, he would up and move at the slightest hint of confrontation with a neibor we always rented but since we now own a home and I have Servalence cammeras up all around the house it is better but I am just now understanding the episodes Thank you so much I am finally learning what to call it but can you tell me if anyone can feel the energy that someone gives off when they are confronted with the first word out of someones mouth when an episode is first starting I have felt it with the first word . How do i talk him into getting diagnosed ? when he will not go to the doctors unless he needs stitchs ? thanks for the good information
Sorry I had one more thing to say I learned at a very very early time that if I kept my mouth shut when I could and not confront him with arguments he was trying to make I could deffuse the arguments. BOY HAS MY MOUTH GOTTEN TIRED OF DOING THIS BUT IT IS NECESSARY! At least I think so. thanks again
dave my name is casandra rutherford and i just read on of the e mails my boyfriend recives from u his name is brock u email him as crazyriddla i just want o to know that i have been with many men and i have been looking for love in al the wrong places and now i have fond some on dear to my heart and i want to be a good girl friend but i cant do it i have problems i am bipolare and depresed and i have really bad episodes over nothing at all is taken me a long time to relize that all the doctors ive ever spoke with were right and i have a mental illness i want to help my self for him because i love him more then life its self . i have episodes were i have so much pain and cant stop crying for hours on end and to relive the pain that i feel i cut my self not deep just enough to know better i watch mit bleed and i calms me . ive never told anyone , he was the first to know . please if u talk to anyone of ur clients please let him know that i love him i dont know how to say that im sorry and i dont mean all the mean things i say like i hate u…. pleas if u have ever helped anyone please … help me ..i need help i know it . i cant do it without him . i cant lose him hes all i have in the world .
so i guess i am … begging u
HELP ME PLEASE i dont know what to do cassynova69@hotmail.com