Bipolar Supporter Blog

==>>Help with ALL aspects of bipolar disorder<<==
Check out all my resources, programs and information
for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp

Hi,

How’s it going? Hope you are doing well.
I have received tons of emails from supporters
who feel guilty about being mad about a loved
one having bipolar disorder. They feel that
it’s ruined them, taken all their money,
wasted lots of their time and they are just
over all mad.

People ask me if I was that way. I must say
not really. I was a little mad that I lost
tons of money over the years with my mom but
not really. BUT remember I am obviously not
married to my mom so it’s really different.

If I was married to someone with bipolar
disorder and the person wasn’t diagnosed
or on the right treatment plan for many
years, I am sure I would be super mad about
it all.

Is that okay? I say yes. I actually write
about this in my bipolar supporter guide.

I want to take an excerpt from that guide
because I think it’s important for the thousands
probably of people on my list that are feeling
kind of anger or depressed.

Here it is:

As you can imagine, a diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder
can be devastating to both the person diagnosed and
the family members of that person. For that reason,
a discussion of how people may initially react to
such information is appropriate.

Think for a moment about a loss you have sustained
in your life. Many of you reading this will have
lost a loved one at some point. Considerable research
has been done to try to identify stages of grieving.
And grieving is a very rational response to a diagnosis
of Bipolar Disorder. Not only does the diagnosed person
have to accept that he or she has an identifiable
“disorder,” the family member most involved with
this person has to internalize this information as well.

Let’s take a look at what we know about the grieving
process today. Of course, each individual case has
its own nuances and twists. As with any psychological
theory, the writer has a responsibility to present what,
generally, may happen in any particular set of circumstances.
Your individual experience may be quite similar to these
“norms,” or it may be significantly different. What
seems to comfort people in these difficult times is the
realization that they are not alone. Others have felt
what they are feeling, and have actually survived.

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross may well be the most well recognized
scholar who has written about grief and loss. She certainly
organizes and explains grief responses cogently, and, as
such, will be the person whose work is cited here.
Kubler-Ross defines five stages of grieving in her work,
Grieving? But no one’s dead! Well, grieving can occur
at the end of a marriage, when a child leaves home,
when one retires from the workforce, and at any one
of many, many other times. What Kubler-Ross has done
in her work is to define a commonality to these
experiences of loss. Loss can mean loss of a
relationship, loss of a loved one, loss of your own
physical well-ness, loss of a job, even loss of a pet.
The interesting thing is that the grieving process
has been found to be pretty predictable regardless
of what was lost.

Kubler-Ross defines 5 stages of grieving. These are
Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance.
Let’s say that you have just been diagnosed with
lung cancer. Your initial reaction might be:

Denial: “But I’ve never smoked! This is ridiculous.
The doctor is incompetent. I can’t possibly have
lung cancer.”

Secondly, you will experience anger about your diagnosis:
“These people are idiots. I’m going to sue them all.
Just when my life is going well, this stupid thing happens!”

Third, bargaining comes about:
“God, if you let me get through this, I promise to
pay all my back taxes. I promise to go to church.
I promise to volunteer at the homeless shelter.”

Next comes Depression:
“This can’t be happening to me. I’m going to just
go home and sleep. I’ll stay in bed where no one
can find me. There isn’t any point anymore.”

Finally, there is some acceptance of your situation:
“Well, I need to read about lung cancer, I guess. We
have a couple of great hospitals in town, and I need
to find out which one has treated more cases like mine.
I need to read about alternative therapies, call the
insurance company, and get ready for the fight of my life.”

Please read this part carefully. YOU are entitled to
feel the way you feel. YOU will move through the grieving
process at YOUR own rate. Please give yourself the time
and permission to deal with your feelings in your own way.
You have just found out that the world may not be as you
know it.

You have found out that you don’t have a “Normal” spouse,
or child, or sister. Your loved one has been diagnosed
with Bipolar Disorder. You have a right to grieve
the loss of your perception of your loved one
(or even yourself!) as seen as “normal.” You have
the right to feel “bad” about what you’ve just found
out. You also have the right to pass through the
stages of grieving at your own pace and in your
own order. You may find that you have predictably
experienced Denial, Anger, and Bargaining. But
suddenly, you find yourself angry again.

The key in getting past this mental and emotional
adjustment is to expect the unexpected. Although
Kubler-Ross has done a masterful job of defining
the elusive process of human grieving, don’t expect
yourself to be a textbook case as you move through
these phases or steps. You will proceed at your
own pace, in your own good time, as you should.
==============

Well that’s the end of the excerpt. That’s again
actually from my Bipolar Supporter Guide. You may
recognize it if you got that guide in one of
my courses/systems.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

The bottom line is however, you have to get to
acceptance eventually. I call it the “first sale.”
The first sale in sales is when a sales person
has to sell him/herself on the product that
they are going to be involved with. If you aren’t
sold and are selling something, you are going
to have a really hard time.

What the heck does that have to do with bipolar
disorder you may be asking? Is Dave crazy? NO!

Think about it. If you don’t sell yourself into
accepting your loved one has bipolar disorder (when
he/she gets a correct diagnosis), you’re going
to have a really hard time with them. An almost
impossible time with them.

Actually I have to take off and this email is getting
kind of long but I want to talk about people who
aren’t sold on their loved one’s bipolar disorder
and actively are looking for anyone to tell them
they have anything but bipolar disorder. This is
super deadly.

I have to take off. Have a great day!

Your Friend,

Dave

P.S. Don’t forget to take a look through the
different programs I’ve put together… each one is designed
to help you with a different area of bipolar disorder whether
you have it or you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp

P.P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/

P.P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com

Hi,

Here is the current Bipolar Disorder news. There
is some really interesting stuff. It costs me a lot
of money to put it together so I URGE you to read
it.

Take some time now.

Visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews339

There’s some really interesting news stories this week.
Take a look at them. Also, write me some feedback by
visiting my blog below.

Here are some of the headlines:

Its Time To Sue Doctors Who Prescribe Drugs Off-Label Part I

Prayers for a loved one who is bipolar and addicted to drugs

Mom’s behavior a signal for help

Health Tip: Living With Bipolar Disorder

Bipolar friend is too ill to manage safely

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews339

Your Friend,

Dave

P.S. Don’t forget to take a look through the
different programs I’ve put together… each one is designed
to help you with a different area of bipolar disorder whether
you have it or you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp

==>>Help with ALL aspects of bipolar disorder<<==
Check out all my resources, programs and information
for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp

Hi,

How’s it going today?

What’s new?

What a day yesterday was. I had so many issues
and a number of threats from some really ill people
on my list.

BUT some good things happen as well. My friend
called and invited me to hang out on Friday so
I am going to take off work early for the first
time in a long time (But I will be working way late
on Thursday).

Anyway this friend of mine has a family member
who has borderline personality disorder and bipolar
disorder.

Even though I have known this friend for a really
long time, neither of us ever told the other
about having a family member with a mental illness.

Pretty interesting. Anyway, we were on the subject
of bipolar episodes and how long it takes for
a person to become stable. She really doesn’t study
bipolar disorder like I do but she said to me
that it can take a long time.

I totally agree. If a person goes into a bipolar
episode it can take a long time for the person
to become fully stable again.

But on the other hand it can take a short period
of time.

I must say after talking to lots of people who
have been in episodes there seems to be no
way to predict how long an episode with take
to recover.

Michele who works for me who you may have
heard me mention before went into a really
big episode. One of the worst she said in
her life. When I spoke to her husband,
he said it was “really bad” and that he
had no idea when she would be back to work.

It was interesting because with less
than a month, she was back to work and 100%.

On the other hand, her mom has bipolar disorder
and she is in an episode and has been for a long
time and nothing seems to be really helping her.

Her mom’s episode is more like my mom’s episode
where it just takes a long time to get to
stability.

But then Michele knows someone else who went
into a bipolar episode and it was over fairly
quickly.

But then there are people on my list that I speak
to who have teenagers or young adults who seem
to be in one giant long running episode for
years.

Yesterday I was surfing the internet which
by the way become a huge way to waste a lot
of time. I saw a book that guaranteed
full recovery from a mental illness in
30 days.

I was amazed that someone would make such a claim.
It’s 100% impossible. There is no way on the earth
you can guarantee that someone will be out of
an episode for fully recovered on 30 days or less.

The ad for the book even talked about “cures”
as well.

This person obviously has no idea what they
are talking about.

I want to be clear with my stuff, especially
my foundational stuff here:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

I nor no one else can tell you how look
it will take either you or your loved one
with bipolar disorder to get stable. It’s
impossible. It might take a few days. It might
take a few weeks. It might takes months. It might
take like a year (what happen with my mom).

Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. These are
very complex illnesses. You just don’t know.

What I can tell you this, especially since I have
been doing this for a long time now. You can
do things to help prevent episodes and you can
be 100% prepared as to what to do in the early
signs of an episode which ultimately leads to
recovering from an episode quicker.

Let me explain. You see with my mom, she started showing
signs like in May 2003 with her episode. No one did anything
until like November 2003 (that’s like 5 months). It just
got worse and worse and worse. I really believe when you
let the episodes just go along without any attempts in
treatment changes it become really hard to recover
fast from this. This is a theory of mine.

On the other hand if I would have done all the things
I now know to do when my mom goes into an episode, I think
she would have become stable again much quicker. But you
never know exactly. This is just a theory of mine but
it should make intuitive sense to you.

I wanted to write this email today for those that are
out there and want to know “how much longer until
it’s over.” One really can’t tell. But as a general
rule of thumb, the longer a person went without any change
to a treatment plan or without taking medication or seeing
a doctor the longer recovery takes. This is what I have
found.

When Michele went into her big episode that I personally
thought would require months and months of time for
her to regain stability, it didn’t simply because
her husband stepped in right away and did many of the
things outlined in my bipolar supporter course.

As a result he kind of “caught the episode” before
it could get tremendous “traction” and get worse
and worse and worse.

Make sense? Hope so. Hey I am going to be having a
f.ree. teleseminar for everyone to answer any non
medical or non legal questions that you might have.
Actually it will be a f.ree teleseminar and f.ree
webinar. You will be able to talk to me live,
and hear other people ask questions as well.

I have to take off now, have a great day.

Your Friend,

Dave

P.S. Don’t forget to take a look through the
different programs I’ve put together… each one is designed
to help you with a different area of bipolar disorder whether
you have it or you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp

P.P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/

P.P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com

==>>Help with ALL aspects of bipolar disorder<<==
Check out all my resources, programs and information
for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp

Hi,

I wanted to email a message today about the importance
of hope and faith. Many times with bipolar disorder
it seems like all is lost and there is no hope.

You kind of slowly start to give up hope and think
that you are losing the war and that there is
absolutely positively nothing you can do.

Many times there is. You just have to keep
trying different solutions to whatever bipolar
problem that you have.

Take a look at this email I got sent to
my feedbacktodave@leverageteamllc.com address.

===========
Hi Dave,

Today I persuaded my husband to go with me to
see the psychiatrist and he has agreed to take
medication and to let me monitor his mood swings!
None of this would have happened if I hadn’t had
your e-mails and encouragement. Now I feel there
definitely is hope and that I’m on the right road
although, I’m sure there will still be ‘pot holes’
ahead, I’m ready for them and will keep on with the
plans you suggest, nothing is so daunting anymore.

Just thought you might like to know.

Thanks again
Chris

========================

I am really happy for Chris. Sounds like she is
totally on the right track.

Some days I get up and I feel kind of depressed
because at any one time there are thousands of
people who are suffering either with bipolar
disorder or supporting someone with it.

But on the other hand, at any one time there
are thousands of people who are on my list
who are doing well.

The thing that I want to convey to you
is there is always hope when it comes to
bipolar disorder.

I have seen the worst cases turn around. My mom
was a really, really, really bad case and she
has turned her entire life around. From finances
to everything. The only thing that has not been
turned around is the fact that my brother still
doesn’t speak to her from her and he doesn’t
speak to me or my dad. But that’s okay. Other
than that, in a relatively short time, my mom
has come a long way.

Back in the day, some suggested there was no
hope and she would be permanently institutionalized.

If you are feeling discouraged right now if you have
bipolar disorder or you are supporting someone remember
the solution or success can be right around the
corner. You really have to just keep trying different
things.

That’s how I did it. Fortunately I was able to take
off work and spend a ton of time figuring it all
out.

I put together my material and especially my
foundational courses here:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

Not to make a fortune but to help people.
I know that people think that I am just saying
that but people who work for me or know me
know that I really work hard at this and spend
a lot of time and it’s not about the money. I have
to charge for stuff because I have a big payroll
and huge advertising expenses. If I didn’t advertise
you wouldn’t see me. Remember however you found
me was the result of an ad that I paid for.

Anyway, in my material I work super hard to
give you the how to or solutions to virtually
every problem that I had to deal with concerning
bipolar disorder. And I have even gone further
by getting solutions that I didn’t have to
deal with and making a course for children/teenagers
and also for those with bipolar disorder.

The one thing that I haven’t done however is
talk about how important it is to have faith
and hope that either you or your loved one
with bipolar disorder can get better.

For many like Chris above you are just right
around the corner for a breakthrough. It might
seem like it’s just so far away but it’s probably
closer than you think.

I just wanted to send this because I have had a
number of emails of people who are rather depressed
that things are moving as quick as possible and
they were asking whether or not they should give
up.

I can’t tell you via email whether you should
or shouldn’t. I could teach a class on when it’s
time to cut it off with a person with bipolar
disorder but I found when I talk one on one
people are so close and just have missing gaps
of information that will make all the difference.

Many just have to hang in there long enough until
they figure it out.

Anyway, I have to run. I will catch up with you tomorrow.

Your Friend,

Dave

P.S. Don’t forget to take a look through the
different programs I’ve put together… each one is designed
to help you with a different area of bipolar disorder whether
you have it or you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp

P.P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/

P.P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com

==>>Would you like to master bipolar disorder?<<==
Check out all my resources, programs and information
by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp

Hi,

How’s it going? I hope you are doing well.
Yesterday I got an email from someone that
talked about how her doctor didn’t care about
her and that he only took minutes to see
her each and every time and many times the
doctor didn’t even remember what was going on.

Actually this person got one of my courses
that talks about a concept called the 95/5
rule with bipolar disorder.

Let me explain what it is.

When I first started helping my mom,
eventually I discovered that most people (95%)
that were going to see a psychiatrist
were getting what I called “assembly
line treatment.”

That’s when you go in and the doctor is like
“hi, how you doing, have this problem, how
are you feeling, okay see you next time.”

If you get this kind of treatment you are
probably in the 95% category.

If so, I call this assembly line treatment because
the person is almost going through an assembly line
where the doctor is not really caring all that much
about the person. It’s done in a mechanical kind
of uncaring way.

Now I know I am going to get some hate mail from
doctors that say this isn’t true, I don’t know
what I am talking about and so forth but it
is true.

It’s not only with psychiatrists but also with
all kinds of other professionals.

If you have bipolar disorder, there’s another reason why
I strongly encourage you to have a friend OR family member
become involved in your treatment so you can
get 5% treatment or become a 5 percenter.

Let’s kind of review the math.

Basically, out of every 100 patients a doctor has,
I believe 95 receive assembly line treatment. The
doctor comes in, looks briefly at the chart, asks a
couple of questions, writes a prescription, and then
moves on to the next patient. The doctor doesn’t give
these patients a second thought once he leaves the
examination room.

The other 5 patients, however, receive extraordinary
care. The doctor is attentive to them, listens to their
questions, explains things carefully, tries to reduce
their concerns, works closely with the families, and
thinks about their conditions even outside of the office.

Every person deserves to receive the “5 % care,” but
that’s just not the way the world works. Unfortunately,
even the best doctors are going to focus the majority of
their attention on a minority of patients. Obviously,
you want to be in that minority with your doctor and
other medical professionals.

The only way to avoid assembly line treatment is for
you AND your loved one to become actively involved in
the treatment process. Your loved one should periodically c
heck in with your doctor to ask about your condition,
drop by to chat with your therapist, and stay in touch
with your pharmacist. Every one of your medical
professionals should know your loved one’s face,
voice, and name almost as well as they know yours.

With my mom, I always called the receptionist, I went
in to see my mom’s doctor. My mom and I did joint reports
of how see was feeling. We emailed them, faxed them. We
were serious people. As a result everyone started to remember
us and we started to get into the 5% group.

You might think this is “crazy” but it totally works.

The reason this approach works is that it lets the
doctor know that someone is watching out for you—and
making sure that he doesn’t mess up. He knows he’s
going to have to stay on his toes, so he won’t take
sloppy shortcuts when it comes to your treatment since
he knows it could come back to haunt him if he does.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

Many times, people who don’t have anyone else watching out for
their best interests (when they aren’t stable) or who
try to keep their treatment secret from their family
members or friends are the ones who end up in the 95.
Hands-on involvement is the only way to keep medical
professionals in line and to ensure that you get the
best treatment available at all times.

Well I have to take off now. I hope you have a good
day and I will catch you tomorrow.

PLEASE POST RESPONSES TO THIS EMAIL HERE

Your Friend,

Dave

P.S. Don’t forget to take a look through the
different programs I’ve put together… each one is designed
to help you with a different area of bipolar disorder whether
you have it or you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp

P.P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/

P.P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com

==>>Would you like to master bipolar disorder?<<==
Check out all my resources, programs and information
by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp

Hi,

How’s it going? I hope you are doing well.
Can you believe summer is almost over? Boy
time sure goes fast, huh? It seems like it
was just the new year the other day.

Oddly, my mom has been solidly stable now
with bipolar disorder for several years now.
So all the things that I put in place clearly
are working. If they weren’t she would have
gone into a major bipolar episode again.

Speaking of episodes, that brings up to today’s
topic which I like to call PEA which
stands for Post episode analysis.

What’s that? Well one of the ways I started
to figure out what went wrong with my mom
during various bipolar episodes which was
something that I called the post episode analysis.

Here’s how it works. You take an episode and
then you look bad and analyze every single
thing that you can see and think of as to
why it occurred.

You ask questions like:

Who was the doctor
Was medication taken?
Did your loved one see the doctor regularly?
Did you loved one go to therapy
Were there any external triggers
Were there changes in diet, exercise or routine?

You look for everything big and small. After you
have the list, you start to look at what you think
what the problem was and the moving forward you
work to correct it with your loved one.

Let me give you an example. About a year ago,
my mom started to go into an episode but she and
I caught it. I did do my PEA and discovered the
following:

-She cut way back on her therapy
-She stopped exercising
-She missed church several times
-She started eating sugary foods
-She was going to bed really late
-She was going to bed at around the same time each day

And a few other things that I can’t remember right now.
But after I did this PEA and a lot of thinking, it was
clear why my mom went into the episode.

I have found, that in virtually most cases, there
is a cause to an episode and it’s not like a lottery
like some people would like to believe.

What do I mean? I mean there is a cause and an effect. You
can find that people do things that lead to an episode. It
many be several simple things or one big thing. But
there are things done that trigger most episodes I have
seen. Actually, in all cases that I have heard about

NOTE=I am NOT a doctor, therapist or “professional”
in anyway and this information is not to diagnose,
treat or cure any disease

when I ask questions like I am telling you to
ask, the cause of the episode becomes clear.

BUT I should warn you, many times you have to
dig for the cause or causes. The person with
bipolar disorder may not even be aware of what
was done.

In the case with my mom that I spoke about she
didn’t even realize that she was doing several
things that would potentially trigger an episode.

When you look at small things like “eating sugary
food” you may think, “that’s such a simple thing,
how does that create an episode.”

Well it’s not just that one simple thing, it’s that
combined with other simple things that creates a
bigger effect. Like 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 should equal
4 but it really turns out to equal 10 because
the sum of the parts is greater than the whole.

I hope that makes sense? But on the topic of making
sense, I have found that many things with bipolar
disorder don’t make sense but they become rules
that you have to follow once you figure out
it’s important.

What do I mean? Well let’s say my mom discovers
she can’t eat sugary foods, stay up past 10:00pm,
and has to go to church each weak to stay stable.

Now to some, that might not make sense. You probably
can’t find medical studies that say these concepts
are important. BUT, for my mom, she has done her
own experiments and found it is important so she
has to stick to it even though it doesn’t make
100% sense as to why it is what it is. Meaning
we might not be able to exactly know why a combination
of certain things leads to stability but we do
know it does so we have to just go along with it.

Also, NOTE- with what whatever my mom is doing,
medication is 100% the foundation of her stability.
In all my cases, my mom is always taking her medication.
BUT, she can run into problems even if she is taking
medication but not doing the other things.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

It’s kind of strange to me that when I
asked my dad in like 2005 if he ever had
thought about why all my mom’s episodes
occurred, he had said, “Not really…
they just do.”

I guess the economist in me strives
to figure out patterns and formulas
for why something occurs. Or to make
what economists call a “model.”

That’s what I have done with much of my
material is make a model of what’s going
on. It’s odd to me that many doctors don’t
even do this.

I will say one more thing about doctors.
You may be surprised that many times doctors
are quick to dismiss many of the “little
things” you may find that cause episodes.

I have personally found that most have not
really sat and thought long and hard about
this subject and really just focus on
medication–which is 100% important.

I have found more therapists who are in
tune with all the things that go together
to create stability.

I just thought I would add that just in
case you are talking with your loved one’s
doctor and he/she is not “getting it.”

Well I have to run. Have a great day.

Your Friend,

Dave

P.S. Don’t forget to take a look through the
different programs I’ve put together… each one is designed
to help you with a different area of bipolar disorder whether
you have it or you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp

P.P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/

P.P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com

==>>Would you like to master bipolar disorder?<<==
Check out all my resources, programs and information
by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp

Hey,

How’s it going? I have to make it quick because
my mom wants me to go to this thing that’s like
half the day long so I have to be out of here
really quick.

I urgently wanted to send you this email about
something someone emailed me about.

The email went:

“I met this person at a bipolar
support group and he says he never
ever went to therapy and almost
never has to go to the doctor and
he’s stable. Is this true?”
-Jen

When I get emails like this, I think
about all the people in the world of
bipolar disorder that fall for the
Bipolar Outlier.

What the heck is that you are thinking?
SIDE NOTE: Michele who works for me
says that I have an entire bipolar
vocabulary full of words that I have
made up and she says I need to make
a glossary of terms. I am actually working
on this and will post it soon.

Anyway, the Bipolar Outlier is a situation
when you find someone that achieves
success with bipolar disorder without
using normal, common, recommended or
best practices when it comes to treatment.

Wikipedia defines outlier as:

“In statistics, an outlier is an observation
that is numerically distant from the rest of the data.”

Think of the “rest of the data” as what most people
do to achieve success with bipolar disorder. The
outlier is someone who is way off from what everyone
else is doing to achieve success. Make sense?

Let me give some examples.

When ever you hear someone is successful
with bipolar disorder and it seems to not
make sense and run counter to what you
know, ask yourself.

#1. Is the person telling the truth?
Many times people lie in support groups.
It’s sad but true.

#2. Is the person really sick and doesn’t
even know it believes they are doing well.
Remember bipolar disorder is a mood disorder
and people can say and do things that don’t
make sense or are not true. So watch out
for the person that says “hey I do this,
that and the other thing and I know it
doesn’t make any sense but I am super successful…
trust me.” Many times this individual doesn’t
even realize he/she is sick or that his/her
life is a total disaster.

#3. How long has the person being doing
the thing and is it sustainable.
For example, let’s look at eating and
weight loss. If you ran into someone that
says hey I lost a ton of weight and last
night I had a gallon of ice cream.
You may think that eating a gallon of ice
cream could lead to weight loss or sustain
it. BUT, in this case, if the person continues
on this path, they will become overweight
again. So you wouldn’t follow this type
of advice.

#4. Is the person you are talking to the
true statistical bipolar outlier?
There is a small percentage of people
who can do everything wrong and things
that don’t make sense and achieve success
with bipolar disorder but it’s super small
and you would never want to model someone
like this.

We can go out and find people who are
super rich that dropped out of grammar
school, drank all the time, did all
kinds of drugs, went to jail and now
make lots of money but would you model
these people? Of course not. They are
the statistical outlier.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

So bottom line is don’t get caught up
in modeling or listening to someone who
isn’t doing the right things.

It’s really easy to hear stories and
then think that you are off track when
you really are on track. Mastering
bipolar disorder is a skill and takes
time. But don’t fall for the people
that do “crazy” things and then say
that’s the way to go.

If you are new to dealing with bipolar
disorder, you might not know exactly
why I bring this up. But if you have
been around the block, you know exactly
what I am talking about.

I hope some people post some stories
to others can read and understand a little
better.

I have to run and I will catch you tomorrow
morning.

Your Friend,

Dave

P.S. Don’t forget to take a look through the
different programs I’ve put together… each one is designed
to help you with a different area of bipolar disorder whether
you have it or you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp

P.P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/

P.P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com

Hi,

What’s new? I feel so sick. I ate some
really bad stuff yesterday and I am not sure
what. Anyway too bad for me 🙂

Hey I have been working on a catalog site
with all my stuff. I didn’t realize I have
almost 20 resources for bipolar disorder.
Anyway, check it out:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp

Okay let get going.

I have to head out of my office
pretty fast today because I have a whole lot
of things to do but I wanted to write about
an important concept related to bipolar
disorder that you need to know.

Let me jump right into it. If you
are a supporter of someone with bipolar
disorder, and your loved one is not
stable, you can’t look to this person
to make good decisions.

Sounds like common sense, right? Well
it should anyway, if this isn’t common
sense then we really need to have a
serious talk. Anyway, even though this
should be common sense, many people
on my list make the huge and I mean
HUGE mistake of almost trying to rationalize,
talk to, look for answers to, wait for
a response from a person who is not
stable with bipolar disrorder.

This is absolutely positively amazing to
me.

Let me give you a couple of examples so
you kwow what I mean. Okay first one
comes from my family. Back in the
day right after my mom went into
her “mother of all episodes” she was
in the hospital and then was released
into an outpatient program.

While she was in this program (which
by the way was a total joke and terrible
as I look back), she would come back
home and scream and yell. She was totally
not stable. Anyway, I had taken her
c.redit cards away from her. Why? Because
I am a mean abusive son? NO. She had
over $30,000 of d.ebt and it was growing
super fast.

Anyway, I took them away right after she
first went into the hospital. My dad, on
the other hand wanted her to have them?
Why? Is it because he is crazy? He was
at the time sort of :).

It was because she wanted them and demanded
them and he would listen to her while she
was in her episode. It was super odd to
me. I on the other hand would never listen
to anything she was saying when she was
in an episode. Meaning, I wouldn’t take
orders or ideas from her that were clearly
descrtructure and go along with her.

Okay it got even worse. So after I went
through and cataloged all her expenses,
it turned into about many pages of that
yellow paper with lines on it. You know
the one that I can’t remember the name
right now. I think it’s called a yellow
legal pad, (Duh, Dave…sorry I am tired).

Anyway I discovered that she not only owed
$30,000 in c.redit card debt. She owed tons
of other de.bts so I put a plan together.

After the outpatient program and when she
wasn’t stable, she demanded to get her
c.redit cards back. She screamed and yelled
at me on my cell phone. She called me
every name in the book. Relentelessly
she beat on me. I never thogught for one
second to give them back.

Then her bipolar kind of game up on me
and she then put tons of pressure on my dad.
I shouldn’t even say tons because she called
him a couple of times and he immediately
called me and said and I will never forget
this, “Shouldn’t we just give her one
c.redit card?” I said no and hung up.

Anyway fast forward two years and when
I make fun of my dad and ask my mom,
“Looking back mom, are you glad that
I took charge and took your c.redit
cards so you couldn’t spend yourself
into homelessesness?” She says “YES.
thank you.”

If you met my mom and asked her this
she would tell you how her de.bts almost
destroyed her and she wished that I
took them away ealier. She is puzzled
as to why my dad would go along with
her and giving them back.

My mom kind of gets mad that my dad allowed
her to make bad decisions and didn’t stop
her. My dad never stood up to her bipolar
disorder and I did. I am not trying to say
I am a super persn which I am not. I am just
trying to make a point.

Okay, I almost have to take off but one more
case study.

There’s a person on my list. She called. Her
mother has bipolar disorder. She was to me
my father doesn’t know what to do. I asked
even he went through my material which
he has access to (ton of stuff like
what’s here:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp

She said no. He hasn’t. He is waiting for
my mom to snap out of it. I said what?
She said yes he is waiting for my mom
to snap out of it. I said, she needs
to be put into the hospital. She says
well he (the father) agreed to never
put her into the hospital.

I was thinking, “who in the world
would make such an agreement with a person
who isn’t stable?” Do you see the problem
here? Anyway to make a long story short,
the mother has bipolar disorder and is totally
unstable but the father who is the supporter has decided
to let the her make all the decisions? It’s so strange.

I know your like “Dave that makes no sense.” BUT I know
for sure there are thousands of people on my list
doing the same thing. It’s not just them.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

The bottomline is this. Don’t let someone who
has bipolar disorer control you and make decisions
that are destructive. Remember if the person
has bipolar disorder and is unstable he/she
can’t make good decisions that’s the entire problem
with the illness. If the person couldn’t it wouldn’t
be bipolar disorder.

If you have bipolar disorder, and you are stable,
you should do this immediatley. Have a talk with
your supporters and tell them that if you did
go into an episode not to listen to any descrtructive
things that you may say. Do yourself a favor and
set this up today. Don’t wait.

Well I have to run I have soooooooooo many
things to do today.

Have you ever let someone with bipolar disorder
and isn’t stable run the show and make decisions?
If so, please tell everyone your story. Don’t
be shy I told you mine 🙂

Your Friend,

Dave

P.S. Learn about all my resource for bipolar
disorder by visiting here:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp

P.P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/

P.P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com

Hi,

Here is the current Bipolar Disorder news. There
is some really interesting stuff. It costs me a lot
of money to put it together so I URGE you to read
it.

Take some time now.

Visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews338

There’s some really interesting news stories this week.
Take a look at them. Also, write me some feedback by
visiting my blog below.

Here are some of the headlines:

Health checkup: Bipolar depression

Two arrested after courthouse fracas

Benefits and Harms of Pediatric Antidepressant Medications

‘Devotion helped me get through dark days’

Modafinil under study for bipolar disorder

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews338

My Resources For Bipolar:

In De.bt Because Of Bipolar Disorder? Get help now.
Go here for more information:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/debtletter/

Interested in Natural Herbs, Remedies And Bipolar Disorder?
Go here for more information.
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/alternativetherapies/

Quickly And Easily Explain Bipolar To People
Go here for more information.
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/explainingbipolar

Need Money Because Of Bipolar Disorder?
Go here for more information
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarbusiness

Dating Someone With Bipolar?
Go here for more information
http://www.BipolarCentral.com/bipolardating

Want To Marry Someone Who Has Bipolar?
Go here for more information
http://www.BipolarCentral.com/bipolarmarriage/

Need Affordable Health Insurance When Dealing With Bipolar Disorder?
Go here for more information
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/insuranceguide/

Problems With Drugs, Alcohol And Addiction?
Go here for more information
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolaraddiction/

Trying To PREVENT A Divorce From Someone With Bipolar Disorder?
Go here for more information:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolardivorce

Your Friend,

Dave

Hey,

How’s it going? I spoke with several people yesterday
that used their f.ree consultation certificate for
non medical or non legal questions and one thing
that seemed to run through everyone was
how they need what I call a “Bipolar Bunker.”

What the heck is a bipolar bunker? Well
when you are supporting someone with bipolar
disorder, you take what I call, “incoming
fire.” Incoming fire is the steady stream
of verbal abuse and threats and in some
cases physical abuse that a loved one
that is not stable will project on you.

Many bipolar supporters make the huge
mistake of actually sitting and getting
screamed at and trying to make important
decisions or try to rationalize or
argue back that’s even worse.

As a result the bipolar supporter gets
slowly worn down and eventually destroyed.
How do I know? I use to take a ton of incoming
fire with my mom every single day. Some times
9 hours a day. I am dead serious. I seriously
thought that I was going to die on some
occasions.

I will tell you this. 99% of people do not
have the will nor energy to be able to successfully
out argue the unstable person who is manic with
bipolar disorder.

It’s just not possible.

It took me months to figure this out. Eventually
I said to myself, “self, this is dumb, you need
a better strategy.” So I set myself up
what I called a bipolar bunker.

Basically my bipolar bunker was mobile–it
was my car. This bunker would shield me from
my mom and allow me some distance and breathing
room so I could think with a clear head
so I could make effective strategies to try to
help her.

I actually would drive about 10 minutes away
and put on the radio and sit and make plans
in my notebook. It was during these times
after about 20 minutes of my brain readjusting
to not being screamed at that I could think
clear. If I hadn’t done this, I would have
never been able to effectively help my mom.

If you have bipolar disorder, and you go
into a manic episode you should want your loved
one to setup their own bunker so that you don’t
cause them to want to permanently leave you.

I talk a lot about Michele Soloway who
has bipolar disorder and so does her husband. They
actually setup their own bunkers and want each other
to go into the bunker if they are in an episode. Why?
So the one in the episode doesn’t do or say something
really bad to one that is not in an episode.

I advise all supporters to think about how
and where they can create their own bipolar
bunker so they are not taking incoming fire
and unable to make any good decisions?

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

Some people move out of the house. Get an apartment.
Go live with someone else. You may think that is
quitting on your loved one but it’s not. It’s
called fighting the war from Washington. That’s
what I call it. If you look at let’s say the Iraq
war. The people running the war make decisions in
Washington, DC not in Iraq getting shot out on
a daily basis. Remember you are like a general
in a war. The enemy is bipolar disorder. The enemy
tries to attack you and you have to make sure
that you avoid all those “bullets.”

I hope this all makes sense.

Well I have to run. Have a great day.

PLEASE POST RESPONSES TO THIS EMAIL HERE

Your Friend,

Dave

P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/

P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com