Bipolar Supporter Blog

Hi,

Sorry for the delay in sending this out.

Here’s the current bipolar news.

To read this week’s news visit:

http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews386

Here are some of this week’s headlines:

Payday Loans: Cheap Loans if Used Properly

Debt Consolidation Online

Author with bipolar disorder relates grim and humorous details

New Scholarship For Leaders Of Bipolar Lives

Huge Risk for Substance Abuse Found Among Teens With Bipolar Disorder

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews386

==>Help with ALL aspects of bipolar disorder<<==

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:

http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp

Your Friend,

Dave

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

How’s it going?

I hope you are doing well.

I was talking to someone on the phone about bipolar disorder and was kind of amazed with what she was saying.

She described herself very negatively because she has bipolar disorder.

How would you describe yourself? What one word describes you best? If you can’t think of one, maybe you’re undervaluing yourself, which is easy to do if you or a loved one has bipolar disorder.

Look at the list below of some positive characteristics, and see if some of them describe you (or described you before bipolar disorder came into your life).

· Intelligent

· Creative

· Solution-Oriented

· Kind

· Good Listener

· Understanding

· Good Friend

· Loyal

· Compassionate

· Honest

· Courageous

· Stable

· Friendly

· Good-Hearted

· Gentle

· Good Leader

· Supportive

· Good Person

Everybody has some positive qualities, whether they realize it or not. If you’re not sure what yours are, ask a friend or loved one to describe you in one word. You might be surprised at their answer!

In my courses/systems, I talk about how bipolar disorder can cause a loss of self-esteem, and ways you can manage the disorder and work on getting your self-esteem back:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

Some people tend to identify themselves with the disorder. But like I always say, you are NOT your disorder. Bipolar disorder is a chemical imbalance that affects your moods, and maybe even your personality, but NOT who you are!

Who you are has nothing to do with bipolar disorder. You are a distinct, unique person. There is no one else like you. You have your very own qualities, and many of them are good ones, as you saw from the list at the beginning!  Bipolar disorder has a tendency to distort people’s images of themselves. Don’t let it fool you! You are NOT the person that your mood swings make you into. When you get frustrated or discouraged, remember who you are between episodes.

To a supporter of a loved one with bipolar disorder I say the same thing – remember who your loved one is between episodes – that’s who they really are, and that’s the person you love.

I have to run. I will catch you tomorrow.

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

How’s it going?

Hey, sorry this is a little late. I was actually working on some other stuff and had to get it done.

Anyway, I was checking out some comments posted about me on another forum and there were actually complaints about me there!

They said that I give out bad information. That my information only talks about medications.

This isn’t true, of course, but it is true that I talk about how medications are the key to success.

Still, some people want to believe that you don’t need them, so that’s probably why this person made that complaint about me.

So what? Let them complain. I’m not going to stop teaching in my courses about the importance of medication for people with bipolar disorder just because some people don’t agree with it:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

I also got attacked AGAIN this week (must be a full moon or something!) by an email that said:

“You are so biased toward drug companies it’s sad. You need to open your mind. Drug companies make billions of medications and you are helping them.”

So here’s 2 different people, and both are complaining about my “pushing medications.” The first is more right on, because you know me, and I DEFINITELY DO NOT push the drug companies.

In fact, in other emails, I speak out AGAINST the drug companies! (but that’s an email in itself, I won’t go into that right now).

The thing is yeah, I DO talk a lot, not just in my courses, but also to people on the phone and in emails about the importance of medication. Why shouldn’t I? I’ve seen and heard of too many, WAY too many, people with the disorder KILL themselves because they went off their medication!

So I try to keep it from happening as much as I can. And I talk about it a lot. I know I do. And I hope that people will listen. At least some of them. So maybe I can help save lives. What’s wrong with that?

I’m not trying to sound defensive here or anything, but it really made me mad at these complaints about me!

I mean, wouldn’t it bother you if you thought you were doing a good thing and all you got was criticism for it?

I talk about medication all the time because sometimes, as dramatic as it may seem, sometimes it really is a matter of life and death when you’re talking about bipolar disorder.

And I don’t think I should have to apologize for that, do you?

So I just didn’t even answer these complaints about me.

First of all, because I absolutely am NOT involved with the drug companies one single bit. Don’t you think if I was, that I would bea whole lot richer than I am? (Instead of the fact that I haven’t even drawn a paycheck in 3 yearssince I started bipolarcenntral.com?)

Secondly, because I think the drug companies in general hurt more than help people with bipolar disorder because in many cases people don’t have insurance and can’t afford their medication. I know someone who just ONE of their medications is over $650 per month!! And that causes people to go off their medications or not to take their medications. So you know I’m absolutely against that! So why would I support that? Why would I be on the side of the drug companies, when I am so concerned about people taking their medications?

All of this makes me very mad!

I’m just trying to help people, and all I do is get criticized for it?

Sometimes I get so discouraged that I just want to give up. I don’t even know sometimes if what I’m doing is even helping. Sorry if this sounds so bad, but really, these 2 emails just really got to me.

Oh well, tomorrow’s another day. and hopefully I won’t get any more complaints.

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

How’s it going?

I hope you are doing well.

What’s the difference between sad and depressed when you have bipolar disorder? I was thinking about this question the other day.

I came to the conclusion that there is a difference, and that one is an emotion, and the other can lead to a bipolar episode. I also came to the conclusion that you need to know the difference.  One woman with bipolar disorder puts it this way: ‘When I’m feeling sad, I keep telling myself that saying This Too Shall Pass. But a (bipolar) depression goes on for days or weeks, and can lead into an episode no matter how many times I say This Too Shall Pass. That’s how I know the difference.’

Sadness is an emotion. It has a beginning and an end. It’s a short-term thing, caused by a specific event – say the loss of something/someone, like the end of a relationship. It can lead to a depression, but that depression will be short-lived.

There are different types of depression. For example, there is unipolar depression and bipolar depression. Unipolar depression is just depression by itself without being part of a bipolar episode, usually treatable by anti-depressants, which improve the depression. While, with bipolar depression, you have to treat the whole episode, with medication, therapy, etc.

Again, where sadness can be triggered by a single event, bipolar depression can be triggered over and over again.

With treatment, bipolar depression can be managed as part of bipolar disorder itself. This is one of the things I teach in my courses/systems:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

Sadness can be a part of grief, say over a loved one’s death. It may go on for a long while, but the sadness itself will pass. You could be sad over the death of your dog, for instance, but it will not be the same type of sadness, and it will not go on as long. Either way, the sadness will not go on as long as depression. You might be sad over the loss of a job, but only until you find another job – again, different than depression (it’s only a short-term sadness).

Another important point to make about the difference between sadness and depression and how they relate to bipolar disorder is that you don’t take medication for sadness, but you do for bipolar depression. Especially if you’re trying to catch the bipolar depression before it takes you into a full-blown episode.

There is such a thing as a mixed sadness. For example, say your best friend since childhood gets married, or takes a job out of state. You’re happy for him/her, but you’re sad for yourself at the loss of your best friend.

An example of a long-term depression might be a frustration of your life’s dream or another life-changing event such as divorce after a long-term marriage or the death of a spouse.

Sadness, no matter how deep at the time, is still short-lived, although the memory of that sadness can last a lifetime. For example, think about your first love (everyone remembers their first love). You might always remember him/her, the relationship, and the break-up, but although the sadness at the time was deep, and you may even feel sad as you recall the memory, you are long over it, as you moved on with your life.

In other words, it was a temporary sadness that doesn’t keep you sad forever.

So there is a difference between sadness and depression, especially as it relates to bipolar disorder.

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

How’s it going?

I just got back from the gym a few minutes and wanted to get some really important things out to you.

First I have a new f.ree podcast you can hear over here:

http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com/index.php?post_id=355059

It’s titled a “A Major Key To Bipolar Success.”

Have a listen, it’s f.ree.

Second, I wanted to tell you some updates on what I am working on.

I am actually building a new part of bipolarcentral called the money center or something like that.

This part of bipolarcentral will have a substantial number of totally f.ree articles on m.oney related issues including but not limited to:

c.redit cards, d.ebt, refinancing, investments, and loans.

Why am I doing this? Well m.oney is important for bipolar disorder and I did a survey of my list. Lots of people are having problems with m.oney issues.

The articles will be totally free.

When I first got started, I found by accident a person who worked at NASA–The National Aeronautics and Space Administration.

This person was was wrongly diagnosed with depression and then eventually diganosed with bipolar disorder. More about that in a second.

She is an excellent writer and has a massive knowledge about financial related topics

like me.

She and I are going to be working on lots of f.ree articles for you to read.

The hard part is that my current website has a problem. It was not setup to host as many articles as it’s been having.

I actually have to have the entire site redone but that is going to take time. So I am currently posting the articles the hard way.

Anyway, back to this woman.

She had some really, really bad problems with m.oney related to depression and manic episodes.

After many years, she finally found the right doctor and this was her big key to success. She gave him a lot of background information about herself.

The doctor had a complete overview of everything that had happen to her over the years.

And most importantly, she was 100% honest.

In my courses/systems below:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

I talk at length how this is critical.

You MUST and I repeat MUST get a doctor an entire background on you or your loved one.

How do you do this? You can simply make an outline year by year or month by month and fax, mail, email or hand deliever to the doctor BEFORE the appointment.

The doctor will almost be forced to look at it. It’s kind of a way to get f.ree care. Why? Well the doctor is going to look at it when you or your loved one is not in the room.  He/she might look at it for 30 minutes or even longer. Than see you for 15 to 30 minutes or longer.

By giving the honest background information, it enables a doctor to make a treatment plan much, MUCH better.

Make sense?

This particular woman simply, let the doctor know about her moods and that although she was depressed at the current time she was seeing him, she had been, in her words, “really up” for periods of time. She also included family history a number of other items about her thoughts.

It was all of this that enabled the doctor to diagnose her with bipolar disorder not depression.

By getting the rigth diagnosis, she was on the road to success.

It all started with getting the doctor the right background material for his review.

In my courses/systems, ALL the success stories I have ever found have used this strategy. I never met anyone that just sent either themselves or their loved ones into a 15 minute visit with the doctor with no background information and became a success.

Now you might ask, “Dave, don’t doctors have this type of information in a patient file?”

That’s a great question. They are SUPPOSE to according to best practices. But doctors report to me that patient records are many times missing, incomplete, confusing, etc.

Also, there are a number of bad doctors out there. Really lazy ones as well. If you have a good doctor today and he/she has patient files. He/she would have to rely on many bad doctor’s information which could be flawed.

See what I mean?

Well I have to take off for the day. Anyone have any of these problems with files being lost or not written correctly?

Let us all know.

Hey catch you tomorrow.

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME

Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

How’s it going?

I hope you are doing well.

I wanted to tell you about something. It’s a book I read last night.

Last night I went to my book shelf and decided to read something new. I have a ton of books. I buy them all over the place. Sometimes in libraries I go to, they give away books or sell them.

I have about 10 book cases of books.

Well anyway, I grabbed a book at about 12:00pm called:

The Luck Factor by Dr. Richard Wiseman.

This is an EXCELLENT book. I HIGHLY recommend you get it. You can get it at Amazon, local book store or from the library (I checked online and a number of libraries I have access to have it.)

This book really should be required reading for everyone on the planet. I am not kidding.

What’s it about? It’s about why some are lucky and unlucky. The book actually teaches anyone how to be lucky. It sounds crazy but it’s true.

The information in the book is step by step. I have been doing a lot of what it’s said for many years and it’s why I get a lot done.

One of the concepts in the book is “Expect Good Fortune.”

The book talks about how lucky or successful people expect to be lucky and successful and that’s one major key.

Now you might think, “Dave, what the heck? That’s really dumb, if I was lucky I would expect good things to happen. What’s wrong with you today?”

Hold on. Let me explain.

The book talks about how before people were lucky, they expected to be lucky and this expectation caused a lot of luck to happen.

It’s an entire book and the guy really explains it well. Get it and read it for further explanation.

But here’s the key thing with bipolar disorder.

When I first started with my mom, I expected good fortune and I expected my mom would get better, become stable and it would all work out.

There was absolutely no question in my mind this would happen. Isn’t that odd that I would think this way after more than 35 years of it not being this way?

For some reason, I think I was too dumb to know how hard it was going to be. I looked at it as a project and I am good at projects.  I just thought, “Hey, this is another project and I will knock this project out like I knock all projects out.”

No matter what the situation was, I expected it would work out.

My mom was in massive d.ebt, and I expected that she would pay it all off. I expected that I would find or make a system to make that happen. People around me thought I was out of my mind.

I was thinking about this concept in the Luck Book and thinking about how I helped my mom. Then I was thinking about everyone I know who does well with bipolar disorder.

ALL these people expect good things about their bipolar disorder. They expect they will find and have good doctors. They expect they will be able to manage bipolar disorder. They expect they will find people who understand their bipolar disorder.

They basically expect it will all work out for the best. They do what the book says to do, which is expect good fortune.

Now, I know a TON of unsuccessful people with bipolar disorder. They do a ton wrong but the one thing that stands out the most is they do NOT expect good fortune. They actually expect bad fortune. They expect massive side effects from their medications. They expect doctors won’t want to help them. They expect no one will understand them. They expect life will always be very difficult.

In my courses/systems below:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

Of all the success stories I found, and there’s a lot in these course, expecting good fortune was critical for people. Whether the person was a bipolar supporter or bipolar survivor.

I ask you, what are your expectations and what do you think of this concept? Agree or disagree?

Hey, I might be going hiking today. I am not sure. It might rain so I won’t go. But I have to get ready just in case it doesn’t rain. So I will catch you tomorrow, okay?

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME

Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

How’s it going?

I saw something interesting that I wanted to share with you.

A reader wrote to BP Magazine:

Though I’ve struggled with my emotions for many years (I’m 45), I was not diagnosed with bipolar disorder II until about 10 years ago. I’ve taken the required medications and gone to therapy, but neither of these is a substitute for what I want: acceptance and understanding of my condition from my family and friends..

I have chosen to reveal my diagnosis only to a trusted few. Knowing the very real stigma against mental illness that still exists, I have chosen not to ‘go public.’ I don’t feel I have the strength to overcome any rejection I might face. Yet at t times I am desperately lonely…How does one get the inner strength not to care?  –H.P., Kent, WA

——————————————–

Wow. That’s some serious stuff. It’s sad to think that in today’s advanced society that there’s still so much stigma associated with bipolar disorder.

But yet it’s still there, and that’s why in my courses/systems I talk about the stigma and how you have to decide whether you’re going to tell people whether you have bipolar disorder or not, like this woman was saying.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

But what a question, huh? How does one get the inner strength not to care?

I’ve had many, many people talk to me or write to me about the loneliness associated with bipolar disorder and the

desperation that comes from not telling people that they have the disorder.

They’ve also told me about the basic mistrust of society and even of their own family and friends that has resulted when they have told and were hurt and rejected, or even just treated differently.

Many times I’ve heard the cry, ‘I just want to be ME!’

But this question really bothers me – How does one get the inner strength not to care?’

It just sounds so sad. Like she wants to just give up but doesn’t have the strength to do it.

It’s hard for me to understand, because I’m always looking at the positive side of things, always encouraging you to continue fighting against the disorder and the stigma associated with it.  Maybe you can explain it to me, because I really don’t get it. What drives you to this kind of desperation?

Maybe if she took the risk and told the right people and was met with positive feedback, she wouldn’t feel this way. Then she could expand her support system, and wouldn’t feel so lonely. That’s the way I see it.

Of course, my opinion may be different than yours.

I’m not trying to simplify this thing, or try to say that her pain isn’t real, believe me. You can tell by her letter that she’s in a lot of pain.  And I know that the decision of to tell or not to tell isn’t made lightly – that’s why I have a whole section on it in my courses. I know what kind of a struggle it can be.

What I’m saying is that if you choose not to go public like this woman, you have to accept the consequences. Then you feel like you’re carrying around a secret you can’t tell anyone except a select few family members and maybe a friend or two. It’s a great chip on your shoulder. But it’s your own fault, because it’s your choice, and you have to live with it.  I’m not saying what this woman did was wrong. But she could always un-choose it rather than complain about it.

Still, there’s that question.

Like she’s really bothered by the fact that she probably cares too much about what other people think. Like she can’t tell them she has bipolar disorder because she’s scared of what they’d think, but then she’s bothered by the fact that she cares about that in the first place. And maybe she’s wondering if she did the right thing.

It’s still all about the stigma associated with bipolar disorder, and that’s still not good. I spend so much time, energy, and money trying to educate people about the disorder (which is my way of fighting the stigma), and sometimes I get discouraged, because I wonder – like when I read letters like this – if I’m even making a dent in the stigma.

But I also think maybe if more people opened up about it – if more supporters and their loved ones showed good examples of managing the disorder – that the stigma would decrease. But that would mean more people telling that they have it.

Maybe I’m wrong. I don’t know. What do you think?

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

How’s it going? I hope you are doing well.

I have one million things to do today so I have to go pretty quick.

Michele, who works for me, was asked to speak at a bipolar disorder support group about bipolar recovery, and was told that the group was mainly made up of “caregivers.”  She told them about our website and explained that we use the term “supporters” rather than “caregivers.”

Now, it may just seem like semantics, but there really is a difference in the two terms.

She explained the difference this way:

The most glaring thing was this – the woman told her that the typical meeting was 10-15 “caregivers” getting together and talking about medications and complaining about bipolar disorder and their loved ones , and that was pretty much it – that was all they did, month after month, the same thing.  Nothing positive, everything negative.

So this was her idea of a caregiver – someone who wasn’t very knowledgeable about bipolar disorder, who only “took  care of” the other person, and who complained about it all the time, the only information exchanged being about medications.

Whereas, we view a supporter as so much more than that.  For one thing, we view a supporter in a much more positive way.  In fact, I’ve written an entire course specifically for supporters of a loved one with bipolar disorder: SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

When Michele told me what happened about the bipolar support group and we talked about it, she explained the difference to me in her view:

She said that she had had a very good friend who had end-stage breast cancer, and in the very end, her and a couple other girlfriends took shifts so that her friend would have found-the-clock care to make her last days the most comfort- able they could be.  They read to her, prayed with her, gave her ice chips, put cold cloths on her forehead, and  other acts like that.

These were the types of things she associated with being a “caregiver” – simple gestures of meeting another person’s basic needs, such as during an end-stage illness such as cancer. Basically, doing things for them that  they can no longer do for themselves.

This picture is so much different than what we consider a supporter.  For example, if a supporter did things for a loved one with bipolar disorder which that loved one was capable of doing for themselves, we would consider that “enabling,” rather than “supporting,” and enabling is something that supporters should not do, because it does not help your loved one.

Being a supporter means exactly that – that you support your loved one and help  them to manage their bipolar disorder. You don’t do it for them.  You encourage independence (where possible and realistic), while still being there for them when they do need you.  You remain understanding, loving, and compassionate; however, you do not allow yourself to be a doormat during their episodes.

Being a good supporter means setting boundaries for acceptable and unacceptable behavior and then enforcing those boundaries.

Being a supporter is being a partner in your loved one’s recovery.  It is definitely NOT being a “caregiver.”

Do you see the difference now between being a “caregiver” and being a “supporter”?

So which are you?

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.