Bipolar Supporter Blog

Hi,

Have you ever heard the expression “Life has no limits”?

It’s one of those sayings that motivational speakers use that try to get you to believe that you can be anything you want to be, do anything you want to do, go anywhere you want to go, and accomplish anything you want to accomplish in life. No limits.

And I agree with that.

But does the same thing apply to people with bipolar disorder and their supporters?

Think about it.

I volunteer at several bipolar support groups, and I’m not saying that if you go to a bipolar support group that yours is like this, but a couple of the ones I go to are like his. But they complain and talk about all the limits that bipolar disorder all of a sudden have put on their lives.

This isn’t how I talk about it in my courses/systems, though:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

In my courses/systems, I talk about how if your loved one is on their medication and sticking to their treatment program, there is no reason that they shouldn’t be living a fairly normal life. And the same for you as a supporter.  Now, I know your loved one might feel that taking medication for the rest of their life isn’t fun and might feel limiting, but think about it (and tell them to think about it) – isn’t it more like the other way around? It’s really the medication that allows the limitations to be taken OFF your life when you’re living with bipolar disorder!

I teach people how to become high functioning, and what that means is that you learn ways to deal with the disorder so that you have way fewer episodes. Things like learning how to manage your disorder, manage stress, manage time etc.

When you can do that, your whole life is more manageable, and there’s no reason that, despite having bipolar disorder in it, life should have any limits for you or your loved one –  In other words, you (and your loved one) should be able to do anything you want to do, go anywhere you want to go, and accomplish anything you want to accomplish in life. No limits.

What do you think? Let me know.

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

How are you?

Hey I ran out of space for the subject line. Take’s topic is “The truth about bipolar recovery groups.”

What a week it’s been. I have some major problems that I am going to tell you about next week. It’s concerning someone who has bipolar disorder that is not stable.

It’s been a nightmare.

On a positive note, my mom is doing great.

A few things.

First, I have f.ree financial articles that relate to bipolar disorder here:

http://www.leverageteamllc.com/articles/

Secondly, I have two h.ome based virtual positions open right now.

One is an administrative assistant position The second is a customer service position.

http://www.bipolarcentral.com/careers/

Please read the job descriptions carefully. We are looking for GOOD qualified people. Not people wanting to make a few bucks at home.

I advertised the admin job the other day and a few people wrote me, “hey, I have 5 kids and need to make a few bucks, this should be great.” That is not a person who sounds qualified or is serious.

We take this work VERY serious. The people on my team are dedicated to helping people cope and deal with bipolar disorder. You will be working with super talented people. Many of which have many disorders themselves.

http://www.bipolarcentral.com/careers/

Okay now on today’s topic.

I got a blog post:

Melissa Colleen said: I attend AA meetings and get annoyed when people say that taking psychiatric meds is ‘relapsing.’ I choose not to share this information about myself to avoid the frustration.

I am lucky enough to have supporters who 100% know the importance of medication. Sometimes I have to accept on a daily basis that taking meds will be a part of my day for the rest of my life. It was much harder to accept in the beginning, but non-acceptance still creeps in sometimes.

————————————–

This isn’t the first time I’ve gotten this type of post on my blog. This seems to be a common problem. From people I’ve talked to, the most common answer is that AA is only for alcoholics, and they consider anything else an ‘outside issue.’

They don’t mean that in a mean way – it’s just that there are so many types of recovery groups today that each one has to sort of ‘specialize’ in just one area. And they sort of have a point, because like AA is for alcoholics, there are bipolar support groups for people with bipolar disorder.

I think this woman is right about choosing ‘not to share this information about myself to avoid the frustration.’ There is still a great deal of stigma in our society against people with bipolar disorder. It’s just a simple lack of knowledge.

And people fear what they don’t understand. Fear can cause people to strike out against what they don’t understand, so in this case, when they say that this woman is ‘relapsing’ because she takes psychiatric medications, it’s probably because they don’t understand bipolar disorder in general, and her situation in particular.

The truth is, she is NOT relapsing. People with bipolar disorder, whether they are in recovery programs or not (and many are, because they have substance abuse problems besides the bipolar disorder) MUST take  edications for management of their disorder, or they may DIE.  According to the National Institute on Mental Health (NIMH), 1 out of 5 people with untreated (unmedicated) bipolar disorder, WILL DIE.

I know, because I talk about this in my courses/systems:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

When this woman in the blog post says, ‘I am lucky enough to have supporters who 100% know the importance of medication,’ she is telling the TRUTH!

Unfortunately, that still doesn’t mean that people will understand. Many people are just now coming forward and admitting they have bipolar disorder – thus putting a face on the disorder. Not just famous people, but real  people, too.

The more we can educate people about bipolar disorder (and, yes, the importance of medications to control and manage it), the less fear they will have about it and the more they will understand it.

In the meantime, what I have to say to Melissa Colleen is this about AA meetings (what one person in AA told me to say) ‘Take what you need and leave the rest.’

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

How’s it going?

Hope everything is good with you.

Finally I have the new job position at BipolarCentral.com posted.

It’s for an administrative position.

If you or anyone you know is interested please visit:

http://www.bipolarcentral.com/careers/

Hey, I wanted to talk about something today.

I had someone ask me about ECT, so today I’ll tell you some things about it.

ECT is Electro-Convulsive Therapy. I know, it sounds like this really big word that a doctor would use to tell you a whole lot of nothing just to confuse you or scare you.

What ECT really is, is shock treatments.

Ok, just so you don’t get the wrong idea, it isn’t like shock treatments in the old days, or like it was in the movie One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest with Jack Nicholson.

Actually, it’s nothing like that now.

And, first of all, it’s only used pretty much as a last resort, when your loved one’s usual medications are failing and other medications won’t work for them. And it’s not like everyone stands in line to get ECT. It’s not that common. But those who do need it, get it.

How ECT is done is that the patient is put under general anesthesia, and gets little shocks to their brain, causing them to have a small seizure, which “resets” their brain, or the chemicals in their brain specifically, the ones that are messing with their bipolar disorder.

In my courses/systems below:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

I have a whole section on ECT, and explain it in great detail.

ECT is usually given 3 times a week for 2 weeks. The usual risk is the normal risk that general anesthesia itself has. So if your loved one has had general anesthesia before and not had a hard time with it, they probably won’t have a hard time with ECT, either.

The only side effects of ECT are a short-term memory loss, which usually doesn’t last that long, and usually comes back pretty quickly.

So if your loved one’s doctor is recommending ECT for them, don’t be scared of it. It’s probably for the best.

I’ve been told it’s worked for a lot of people with bipolar disorder.

I forgot to tell you this. When I first started this organization there was a person who applied for a job. She was REALLY, REALLY good.

But, her medication was not working. She had been to lots of doctors. Finally one doctor said that he recommended ECT. I didn’t know what it was at the time. My mom never had ECT.

Anyway, she did a whole lot of research and concluded it would be a good idea.

So she decided to do it. She also agreed to do interviews before, during and after it. Unfortunately I can’t seem to find those interviews J

I don’t know where they went. But I am very confident that I will find them soon. I think they maybe with my mom.

Anyway, this person had some memory loss intitially but then it was amazing. It all came back and she went on to do great things. She still works for me today. I have also met many people where I volunteer that have undergone ECT and it worked for them. Many people just think of ECT as like torture and it’snot. That’s “old school” thinking.

Just like the fact you can work when you are on disability—a common myth is that you can not work on disability because if you do, you lose your benefits instantly. This comes from this old rumor that to this day is still circulating.

Anyway, do you have any comments on ETC? Now don’t post ridiculous stories please and scare people. You know what I mean. When someone says:

I knew this person, who knew this person, who knew this person, who had a friend who mother’s father had bipolar and he had ETC and his head exploded and his arms and legs fell off. You know what I mean. FIRST PARTY stories please J No bipolar rumors or urban legends. FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME

Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

How’s it going?

I hope you are doing well today.

I wanted to say two things today.

First, many people ask me over and over again how I am able to get so much done. One is because I am organized and focus.

I highly recommend people struggling to get things done and accomplished pick up this book:

Time Tactics of Very Successful People by B. Eugene Griessman

You can get it at a bookstore or amazon.

I HIGHLY recommend this book. It’s EXCELLENT.

Okay secondly, many people are asking about some posts on my blog.

One person wrote, “Hey Dave, there are some posts on your blog that are crazy. They don’t make sense.”

I know this. We don’t really screen posts that don’t make sense. It would be complicated. We just moderate posts with swear words or hate language.

When you see posts that are “crazy” it’s most likey from people who have a disorder who are very ill. When you have a quarter of a million people who have signed up to your newsletter you’re bound to have several people really ill on your list. It’s just math.

Okay on to today’s topic.

My friend George says that I like to talk. I sure do. I don’t know why. I am the guy that talks to you in line, on the plane, in the train, etc.

I was in line and I met a lady in the grocery store. She was buying lettuce and I was, too.

I picked one up and put it in my cart. She said, “Hey, what are you doing?” At first I thought she was crazy.

Then she said, “You’d better learn how to buy lettuce.”

So I listened.

She basically told me what kind of lettuce to buy, how to squeeze it to make sure you are getting the most for your money, and how to store it.

She said, “Remember, son, there’s a process for everything, even the simplest things.”

I laughed and said “Great suggestions! You should start a business.” She said she had a business, painting.

So then she asked what I did. I wanted to tell her about all the bipolar stuff so I did.

She said, “Wow! My friend has bipolar disorder.”

I said “Really?”

She said the friend has a hard time taking her medication. I asked if the friend is in denial. She said no, just that the friend has trouble remembering to take the medications and which ones she took.

I said, “Well, you need to have a system. Some people buy these plastic containers and put their pills in them. If your friend takes morning and evening pills, they have containers that have a place for morning, and a place for evening, so she would put them in each place. That way, if your friend looks and the place is empty, she knows she took her pills for the day!”

I said to her, “See? There’s a process for everything.”

In my courses/systems below:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

I offer other suggestions on how to manage your medications.

For some reason when it comes to bipolar disorder people don’t think about systems and processes. It’s the real key to success.

When I look at my mom and everyone who works for me with bipolar disorder they do well because they have a number of systems in place.

Many of these systems and processes are VERY simple.

Like my mom has a system for going to bed. She takes her mediation one hour before bed. She listens to music for 30 minutes before bed. She gets in the bed at the same time each night. She goes to sleep.

Sound simple? Well it is. However my mom has said for years she never had a process or system to go to sleep. As a result she said that she wouldn’t get enough sleep and then she would eventually go into an episode.

The other day someone wrote me, “Dave, you think you are so smart. You think bipolar is so easy to manage. It isn’t. You don’t know. You don’t have it. Stop telling people they can do it. “

I know this person is frustrated but I am here to tell you today bipolar disorder can be managed.

It can. Period!

Think I am wrong?

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME

Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

What’s going on?

I hope you are doing well today and have a great day.

I wanted to bring up something. I call it the bipolar supporter loser attitude.

A couple months back I met someone who was a bipolar supporter. His wife was TOTALLY out of control. She was “kind of” in treatment. She was “kind of” taking medication.

As a result, she had destroyed his finances, family life, relationship with friends, etc.

Her bipolar disorder was running circles around him. It was really sad.

I asked him why he allowed this, and he said to me, “It’s not worth the fight?”

I said, “Huh?”

And he said, “Yea, it’s not worth the fight.”

I said to him, “Do you want me to give it to you straight or sugar coat it?”

He said, “Give it to me straight.”

So I said, “That is a ‘total loser attitude.'”

I said to him, “How in the world could it NOT be worth the fight? How could getting your wife stable so you have some money, so she doesn’t look like a fool most of the time, so you have a good family life, so you can have a normal life and she can be all she can be, not be worth the fight?”

I said, “Of course it is.”

I said, “Let me ask you a question:

“If you were out of your mind 90% of the time saying and doing stupid, dumb, destruction and crazy things, wouldn’t you want someone to go to the end of the earth to help you not do these things? Or would you be okay with being like this?”

He said “Um…well I would want someone to help.”

I said “Yea, of course.”

I said, then, “Why do you have a loser attitude like this?”

He said, “Dave it’s not that easy, it’s hard.”

I said, “Oh that’s right I forgot, I didn’t have to work hard for my mom for like a year.”

He said, “Well, I know but well I am tired.”

I told him I can understand that. I asked him what is holding him back. He said “We tried it all.”

I said “You tried it all — you tried every possible combination of things?”

He said “Yes.”

I said “Wow! You tried 1,000,000 things, how old are you? You aren’t 500,000 years old, are you?”

I said to him, “You know that if there are 20 things you could do the total number of possible things to try would be 20 times, 19 times, 18 times, 17 times, 16 times…which is way more than 1 million!”

He said “Well we didn’t try everything.”

NOTE-

He was kind of getting frustrated with me because I wouldn’t go along with him.

Then I said, “You need a new plan and a better strategy.”

He said “Yes.”

So we got to talking and I outlined some things that he can do immediately. Most importantly I gave him the right mindset. The “You versus bipolar disorder you’re going to win” mindset.

In my courses/systems below:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

I talk about how if you are a bipolar supporter you can’t just sit around and say “it’s not worth the fight.”

With bipolar disorder, it progressively gets worse and worse and worse when there is NO treatment. It doesn’t fix itself magically.

It’s worth the fight.

My dad use to think like that. He used to always tell me not to argue with my mom and just to go along. We did that for YEARS. Actually decades and it didn’t work at all.

When I took over in 2004, I said there’s going to be a new way of life. A new strategy. It will be worth the fight and I will not allow my mom to be unstable.

As a result, my mom became stable. There’s no question it was really, really hard work.

But it was worth the fight.

Do you think it’s worth the fight for yourself or someone with bipolar disorder to get them stable?

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME

Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

I am running late so I have to get going.

I am going hiking again today and I am not 100% sure where the place is so I will probably get lost.

Someone called me this morning to talk about bipolar disorder.

Which is why I am late today.

She was basically talking about how her loved one is always making mistakes. It was odd. She wanted her loved one to be perfect.

I’ve yet to meet an absolute perfectionist who was dealing with bipolar disorder and had a stress-free life, have you?

If you expect your loved one to be perfect, you’re going to be sadly disappointed.

However, if you’re willing to become accepting of your loved one’s imperfection, you will begin to notice that your stress will decrease, as will theirs as they see that you expect less of them.

The need for perfection and the desire for less stress conflict with each other.

Whenever we want things our way, or are too attached to having something a certain way – especially better than it is now (like our loved one before the bipolar disorder) – we’re engaged in a losing battle.

Instead of accepting what we have to accept now (accept things the way they are instead of the way we want them to be), which would lead to a more positive attitude, we’re still wanting perfection.

Learning to accept the diagnosis of bipolar disorder in your loved one is one of the big things I go over in my courses/systems:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

If, instead of being content and grateful for the life you have, in spite of the bipolar disorder, you’re focused on everything that’s wrong (a negative attitude), and your need to fix it, you’ll never get rid of your need for perfection, and you’ll never accept your loved one’s bipolar disorder.

Whether it’s related to ourselves (a scratch on our car, a messy closet, an imperfect task, being a few pounds overweight) or someone else’s imperfections (the way our loved one looks, behaves, or manages their disorder), the very act of focusing on imperfection causes unneeded stress.

A strategy for overcoming the need for perfection has nothing to do with wanting to do your very best but with being overly attached and with being focused on what’s wrong with life in general and your life in particular.

It’s about realizing that while there’s always a better way to do something, this doesn’t mean that you can’t enjoy and appreciate the way things already are.  The solution here is to catch yourself when you fall into your habit of insisting that things should be other than they are.

Try simply to remind yourself that though your loved one has bipolar disorder (and it is NOT your fault),  that life is ok the way it is, right now.

Hey I have to run well actually hike. I will talk to you later.

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

How’s it going?

I hope you are doing well.

When it comes to emotions, everyone has them.  So it doesn’t matter, at least when it comes to emotions, whether you have bipolar disorder or not.

But for someone who has the disorder, their emotions can go up and down like a rollercoaster.  So, as a supporter of a loved one with the  disorder, this is one of the first things you have to learn to deal with. Unfortunately, this is one of the things you will always have to deal with, as emotions are a part of the mood swings that are a symptom of bipolar disorder.

In my courses/systems, I list all the symptoms of each of the types of the disorder:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
For now, though, let’s just talk about the emotions of Bipolar I and II.

In Bipolar I, periods of major depression alternate with periods of severe mania. During the mania, your loved one may exhibit the following:

· either elevated or irritated moods (emotions)

·grandiose thoughts, ideas or behaviors

· inflated self-esteem

·decreased need for sleep

· racing thoughts

· unusual agitation

· excessive involvement in pleasurable activities like shopping sprees or sexual encounters

So with Bipolar I, you’re dealing with both high and low moods (emotions).

With Bipolar II, periods of hypomania (a mild to moderate level of mania which  is not severe enough to interfere with your loved one’s ability to function) alternate with periods of major depression.

So if your loved one has been diagnosed with Bipolar II, the worst emotion in them that you’ll have to deal with is their depression.

In general, though you have to deal with the changing, shifting, sometimes rapidly swinging and widely extreme mood swings characteristic of bipolar disorder.

But what about your own emotions?

Do your emotions shift to match your loved one’s?

You need to listen to your own emotions, because they’re like a barometer, and they can gauge what’s really going on with you – they’re usually trying to tell you something.

Emotions are like a guidance system. When you’re not caught up in negative thinking, your emotions will be generally positive, and no mental adjustments need to be made.

But when your feelings (whether toward your loved one, toward their bipolar disorder, or toward life in general) are negative – when you’re angry or hurt, frustrated, disappointed, resentful, stressed, etc. – your emotions are like a warning system that an adjustment needs to be made.

In that case, your emotional warning system is telling you that you need to ease up on your thinking; that you’ve lost perspective; that you’re off track.

The main thing is, you can’t ask your loved one to change their emotional pattern if you’re not willing to change your own.  But on the same token, if you’re successful with your own system, you can teach them how to manage their own emotions!

Hey, I have to head to the gym now.

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.