First thank you for using your time on me every dag:)

I am woman 48 years old and are biopolar. And the last 2 years i have been using lithium.
I was a wild cat when i grew up, bad at scool. And my mom liked that i was manisk, i was funny and entertaining and full og idees. And she was most of the time depresse. I met a husband who is also biopolar and got 2 children. And my doughter is also biopolar i thing. I got devorst right after my children was bord. Becouse of our illnes and our trubble to funktion no rmally. 10 years later i was still single and tryed to tell my docor how i fellt. I had no ideas of my illnes at the time. Then i came in therepi and slowly the nekst 10 year i was able to what was goin on in my life and what kond of problem i was up against. With everyone oround me, not only my selv. Do i need to mention that my IQ is very higt, my education very little and i have had soo many jobs. After i startet on therapi and medication i got a new life. But the prise is also very higt. Before i lookes fantastis becouse i was always very aktig and now everyting has changes. Gone opp 6kg. i never feel the need of beeing aktiv any more. So i miss that. But my sosial life has been better. Of al medicatin i have tryed so far is lithium the vest, but they al seem to couse like my arms “dyes” just hangin there. And I can see on other sick people it is the same. They sitt there and they arms seems totally dead. Do any one feel the same

I just found your website and want to take the time to tell THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart. I have been licing with my disease, Bi Polar/Manic Depressive, Poly Substance Abuse, with paranoid delusions. I have only one regret that it was not found earlier in my life. I knew that I was diferent, but did not know why.

It took an overdose attempt, a persistent counselor and some bypassing red tape to get me into a treatment center. And and only then did I start to come to terms with myself. I still live in hell 5 years later. I am a total recluse, still see and hear things and so afraid of everything.

I went to prison for prescription fraud–I was a critical care (ER/ICCU) Nurse for 20 years. I always told myself that it was just stress from the job, and a few cocktails at 7am in the morning was normal. Eventually I was arrested and sent to prison. In the 3 years I was there, I meet with 2 psychiatrists, hooked up with a Nurse Practitioner on a weeekly basis to assist me in getting “stable” and learn to deal wih the situation.

I have been out of prison 5 years. At release I was set up with an out patient service provider and have been with them ever since. No I am noto saying that I have not had relapses, because I have.

I am a set prescription regimen–Depakote 200 1in the am, 2 cap at night Depakote 400mg 2 in the pm, Paxil 30 mg 2 in the am, Seroquel 200 mg in am, 1 at 12noon and 2 at bedtime; Seroquel 400 mg 1 tab 8a and 2p Lorazepem 1.5 1 tab 2 times day; Lorzapem .25 2 tab 2 times a day Hydoxyzine Pam 25mg 1 cap 2 times a day; Visteeral 50 mg 2 times a day; and Propanolol 20 mg take 2 times a day.

I so bad want to return to work, but in the state I reside in, it is not an option. Heck, most states area all the same.

I am dealing with the recluse issue, so that I am able to reclaim part of my life. The computer is my only source of contact with the world. The one day a month that I have to go to the dr, I am in a full blown panic attack and someone times suicidial.

I know that I am the only one that can help himself, but I give it 110%. I hate living like this. There has too be a bettere option out there somewhere.

If anyone wants to contact me, please feel free to contact me at Hotstuff47327@aol.com. I would appreciate the outside contact.

Chris

Hi David:
What kind of help are you needing?

Currently I do research for several news articles/websites as a freelance writer – along with my regular job of marketing. I’m not looking for “easy” money – but something I believe in….and have the benefit of a check to provide for my family.

I’m a Psych/Criminology major (nearly done!) for that coveted BA degree – so, I take Bi-Polar – among many disorders, seriously. With my daughter having bi-polar (still undiagnosed officially), and my middle son having ADHD/ODD – I’m in the midst of it, real life.

Lots of years experience – writing, managerial work, admin, accounting – you name it. Very diverse in skills.

If you are interested, let me know, I can put together a formal resume.

I will also attach some of my articles for your review (on Down Syndrome) – and you can see some of my work on article directories, under Melvin Ngiam (I’m his ghostwriter) on Cord Blood issues – that I collaberate with another writer. (See Article Alley, GoArticles, Ezine articles). My other articles (under my own copyright) will be published on EzineArticles once they are approved.

If you are interested in seeing any of my article work or posted materials, please feel free to contact me a baxterj@columbus.rr.com, or through my below business e-mail.

Thanks!

Jaime Baxter
Joss Data
Office: 614-408-8477
Fax: 614-467-2700

Interesting topic about the importance of medication for bi-polar disorder.

My family told me to throw away those “*%*^^$###” medications; flush them down the toilet. Well, first, don’t let anyone tell you (other than your doctor) what do with medication. Second, never flush medication down the drain – it hurts fish and other animals and actually ends up back in our own drinking water.

I suppose my family’s attitude comes from being uneducated. They say the medication is what is causing my problems and that I should not be taking it. They told me to ‘get over it’ and quit being the way I am, stop acting the way I do. They want me to stop making ‘excuses’ for not working. They do not want to help me, in anyway, at all. They give hurtful, sarcastic criticism. They say it is my choice to have the problems that I do.

I have given up on the family. It was too draining and frustrating. They don’t want me to educate them. They have their own opinions, which are totally wrong. I just give up on them.

Melissa, with the AA comments. I totally agree with Dave when he says “take what you need and leave the rest”. I would also like to say that this is a personal opinion, not a view endorsed by the fellowsip. I am a recovering addict and active member of NA, but I also attend AA and have heard differing viewpoints on this subject in bith fellowships. My personal belief is that you don’t share everything with the group, and I go to the auto mechanic to fix my car the AC repairman to fix my AC and a physician for health problems and a psychiatrist for mental health problems. I don’t ask my mechanic what to do about a stomach ache. God bless you and your journey. Wanda

I have been diagnosed with a number of different mental illnesses including bipolar disorder. Unfortunately, one of the medications I was on for awhile has been linked to causing diabetes and about a half a dozen other meds used for bipolar disorder also can play havoc with blood sugar, among other things. These problems were not found in initial clinical trials because the effects were long-term. There is a class action lawsuit going on in the courts right now against the manufacturers of one such medication. It is still being prescribed though I think less frequently.
Now, I’m not saying that any one medication caused my diabetes. There were many risk factors including hereditary ones. There were other problems, such as weight gain which is a known side effect of many antipsychotic and some anticonvulsant medications. My hypothyroidism, though it may be partially caused by heredity (other family members have hypothyroidism and diabetes and mental illnesses) I believe the lithium I was on exacerbated the hypothyroidism which in turn exacerbated depression. Fortunately, hypothyroidism can be controlled with medications that are inexpensive, time-tested and helpful for many.
I have heard you, David, comparing the fact that some diabetics take insulin and are not judged for it as if the diabetes were their fault while people with mental illnesses, particularly bipolar disorder for your situation, are told by family, friends, twelve step groups, religious zealots etc. that they don’t need the medication, it’s a weakness, a crutch, a character flaw. But I do feel compelled to say that, first, there is definitely an emotional side to diabetes and a high correlation between people who are diabetic and those who have conditions such as depression and anxiety. Sometimes diabetes is caused by hereditary factors, not the person’s fault. Sometimes, it is caused or hastened by medications, not just those used for bipolar disorder. Fluctuating blood sugar levels can cause severe mood swings. Most diabetics and diabetic educators, nurses, doctors and dietitians will tell you the same thing. Both diabetes and bipolar disorder have physical components to them and, while bipolar disorder is clearly a mental illness and it is as important for someone with bipolar to stay on meds, discuss any side effects openly with doctors, etc. as it is for someone with diabetes or other medical conditions, diabetes, especially type two in adults, is extremely misunderstood. Many people think that it’s just about not ever eating any sugar. Many feel that it is the person’s fault because it came about through a bad diet (not just the sugar but high carbs in general, poor exercise habits, drinking alcohol and other factors within the person’s control. As a person who lives with bipolar, diabetes, borderline personality disorder, numerous anxiety disorders, panic and phobias, attention deficit disorder, hearing loss and total blindness and, oh yes, ptsd and dissociative identity disorder (also known as multiple personality disorder) and a Christian, I can tell you that I have been told to go off meds for diabetes, bipolar, in fact, all medications, because staying on them indicates a lack of faith just as the fact that I haven’t been healed of my blindness or hearing loss (caused by doctor error) means I have insuficient faith or, in some cases, because I didn’t give any or enough money to some faith healer’s ministry. I have bachelor’s degrees and a master’s degree and have been a successful teacher when I have been stable. I have learned the hard way that sometimes staying on medications, even if you accept your diagnosis, is difficult because it is often a trade off between side effects or worsening symptoms and with diabetes as well as with bipolar, it takes a lot sometimes before the correct medication or combination of medications can be found.
I have lost jobs due to psychotic breaks, episodes of all kinds and I have found it difficult to interact socially because of social anxiety disorder and agoraphobia. I am currently in an outpatient program where borderline personality disorder was diagnosed. I am doing all I can to educate myself about the various disorders and, while I have learned to come to terms with most of my diagnoses, I’m not sure I agree with the BPD one. I have been doing DBT but I find that while I understand what I’m learning intellectually, I find it difficult to apply when I’m in the middle of an emotional episode. My husband doesn’t believe in the bipolar or BPD diagnoses and resisted my going to the outpatient program. Admittedly, there are a lot of things I don’t like about the program. But going into the hospital when unstable is worse if you can prevent hospitalization by day treatment. When I lived in Massachusetts before I married my husband, I was at a better program where I started with DBT as well as other therapies. But even when I am stable, I never go off psych meds much as I might hate them. Sometimes I think my bipolar meds make me feel like a walking zombie. I think the sleep ones affect my memory and I hate that since I used to have a good memory except for when I’m in an episode or one of my other personalities is in control and then I come back and don’t remember what happened, just like when you don’t remember what happened during a bipolar episode.
One of the things that I think is good about some of the day treatment/partial hospitalization/intensive outpatient programs is that they treat what is called “dual diagnosis”. I think that is an unclear designation because many people have more than one psychiatric disorder but the term “dual diagnosis” as it is commonly used in many mental health and drug rehab settings means you have a mental illness diagnosis but then a distinct drug or alcohol addiction diagnosis. They have specific groups and complete in and out patient programs for this kind of dual diagnosis and, while many use twelve step models, some don’t and the ones that do or that encourage attendance at twelve step meetings acknowledge that while someone who is bipolar may have self-medicated by using drugs or alcohol, taking bipolar meds is a separate issue not related to addiction to illegal drugs, alcohol etc. Such dual diagnosis programs understand that taking meds for a psychiatric disorder is not a weakness. In fact, if someone is doing well on their meds and otherwise sticking to their treatment plans, going to therapy, getting proper sleep, diet, exercise etc. and doing dual diagnosis work, that is a strength. If their episodes are reduced, they are less likely to go into impulsive behaviors or relapse into self-medication with sometimes highly illegal and legal (alcohol) but destructively addicting substances. So I agree that those people in AA NA OA EA (emotions anonymous) and other twelve step groups need to be educated about the difference between addiction as a separate issue where there might not be a mental illness diagnosis and addictive behaviors which result from not being stable on meds and other factors. Taking meds for bipolar does not equal drug addiction. It is sad that so many twelve step groups still act in such ignorant and irresponsible ways. They should be supporting someone’s work to get well, to recover, both from addictions and from instability with the mental illness stuff. It never ceases to amaze me that while many such gbroups are so quick to jump on someone with bipolar or another mental health disorder for taking meds while they’re sitting there guzzling cafeinated coffee and puffing away on their cancer sticks and nobody calls what they’re doing addiction. Recent research suggests that tobacco is one of the most strongly addictive substances, even stronger than heroin (though I think crack might be more). It’s like when they put a heroin addict on methadone, not as a transition while they’re working on recovery but as a permanent thing. It’s substituting one addiction for another rather than getting to the root of the problems that cause addictive/impulsive behaviors. But then, what do I know? (smile) I’m just a fifty-something veteran of the mental health system and the blindness system who is returning to school to get my more official social work and counseling licenses so that to some people, my opinions might matter and might put me in a position to help others, particularly the large population of blind people and those with other disabilities, many of whom have bipolar and other mental illnesses but who are caught between a rock and a hard place because the mental health system doesn’t (and largely doesn’t want to) understand the blindness issues that often increase medication noncompliance for a variety of reasons, or who have to sort out whether their depression or anxiety are related to blindness issues (or hearing and balance issues) that might make them not want to be mobile and able to get around to the places they need to go, or if they are part of mental health conditions such as agoraphobia, panic disorder, social anxiety disorder, depression or bipolar, schizophrenia etc. I know blind people who have a lot of different mental illness disorders. Actually, I don’t like the term “disorder”. The word implies a lack of order, which is true when symptoms are being manifest but is not accurate when someone is stable. I prefer the word “condition” because I think it is more neutral. I like the word “stable” too, even when it’s not used to refer to horse lodging. (Sorry, but I do love horses.)
Interestingly, (David, check it out, it’s not far from you) there is an organization in New York City which offers a day program for blind people who have co-occurring mental illness diagnoses. In other words, they have visual impairments and at least one diagnosable (i.e. DSMIV) mental illness. While there have been occasional (perhaps well-intentioned but generally not lasting) attempts to address such issues, their program, an actual formal outpatient program, is, as far as I know, the first of its kind in the country. New York has a huge blind community with over 40 organizations serving them. There is another organization, their branch of the Lighthouse for the Blind in Manhattan, which is putting together some mental health services for psych evals, medication management and, I think, counseling but the agency with the up and running full program is the Jewish Guild for the Blind, Manhattan branch. It used to be more Jewish but is now considered nonsectarian, but I don’t know if it’s in the processing of changing its name or if it’s going to keep it because that’s the name people know). But the city in which I live hs a large blind community. There are three others who are blind in my outpatient program and others that I know, some of whom used to be in the program and some I’ve met elsewhere, who have bipolar, borderline, schizophrenia, various anxiety disorders, and other mental illnesses. There is a school for blind children and a rehab center for blind adults in town. The rehab center used to have a part-time psychiatrist to help with medication management for the many out-of-town students at the center. They used to have the services of a couple of clinical social workers too, one of whom I greatly respect. But they have stopped all of that and I know many with bipolar and other major mental illnesses who are not being properly served.
But I am hoping to start a local support group for blind people with mental illness and maybe one for families and eventually one for others with physical disabilities as well as co-existing mental illnesses. I get so much encouragement from your daily emails, Dave. I don’t post often but I read everything and am especially grateful for your podcasts that I can listen to. When I read your stuff, I use a software program that converts text to speech. But the podcasts give me a voice to match up with a name. I remember how nervous you were on your first one. But you’re improving. Generally, people who have been blind for a long time are very discriminating in what they will listen to but your podcasts are pretty good quality and I have recommended them as well as your emails to other blind peole who are supporting those with mental illnesses or blind people who have mental illness or blind professionals like psychologists and social workers, to pass along to any of their blind patients. As with sighted professionals, my recommendations are met with some skepticism because you, Dave, are not a doctor or therapists, as you so often feel the need to reiterate and I don’t blame you. But the reaction among blind people is not so skeptical. Many are being treated for mental illness or suspect that they have it and many feel isolated and misunderstood by other blind people with whom they deal, those in church, mental health professionals, family etc.
Another thing I’d like to do is get your various materials such as your bipolar and borderline course materials into the hands of blind people and those who deal with them. But your manuals are not accessible, i.e., they are not in Braille or recorded form so blind people can’t access them unless they get the deluxe courses and even then, they can access audio interviews but not the written material, which is the core of the course, according to your web sites. Oh yes, I know this is the bipolar supporter blog but I was wondering, and I’ll bet I’m not the only one, if you’re ever going to get your “coming soon” schizzo info web site up and running. I was originally diagnosed as schizophrenic and then schizoaffective disorder. I know other blind people who have these disorders. There are other websites out there for schizophrenia, though some are geared to family members and education. A good one is http://www.schizophrenia.com and http://www.about.com/health/schizophrenia (I think that’s the url. About.com, a subsidiary of the New York Times company, has a lot of free material on their sites. In fact, I found your link as a sponsored Google link from their bipolar disorder site. They have a borderline personality disorder site that’s worth checking out. Another link I found from them was a web site by a woman named Julie A. Fast (Now tell me that’s not a pseudonym!) called http://www.bipolarhappens.com Julie has written some books on bipolar but of course, none of them are in blindness-accessible format. She has a book called something like Living and Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder and another for bipolar survivors called “Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder. Those books are available from bookstores and probably libraries and I can’t vouch for their quality and am not recommending them and am not in any way involved with her organization. But she has some credibility. She was a speaker at the recent NAMI national convention and I think is speaking in September at the DBSA convention. She has a new book that came out this year called “Getting it Done When You’re Depressed”. She lives in Portland, Oregon and she has something called the “health card system” which costs, I think, $49.95 and has several other things, like the book called “Bipolar Happens” along with the health cards stuff. It’s supposed to help survivors be stable and supporters to understand what’s going on and both can use the cards as a sort of checklist. She gives a discounted price of $10 to anyone on disability and you don’t have to do anything to prove you’re on it. I guess she thinks people are honest about it and I imagine she’s doing pretty well financially from the sales of her other books, speaking engagements etc. that she feels she can do that. Again, I have no personal experience with it other than getting her newsletters which, while they generally contain good information, come out irregularly and I think Dave’s stuff is more helpful because he is generally consistent and, while some people might think the content is controversial, I have found the daily emails to be helpful, even when they are directed primarily at supporters, an understandable thing given the fact that he is a supporter.
I have had another idea though. Maybe one of the staff, say someone with bipolar and maybe other mental illnesses, could also write a daily or weekly or even monthly or quarterly newsletter, though I think daily would be better again, because of consistency and predictability. Dave, your messages are like a rope being thrown to a drowning swimmer, a stream to a parched and weary desert traveler, a ray of light and hope to someone trying to make their way in darkness. But, as it is for supporters, so it is with survivors; it means so much more when someone talks to them who has walked in their shoes, has struggled and fought the bipolar (or other illness) and won, is achieving and maintaining good stability but who remembers how it felt when they weren’t; someone who kept up with current research and trends, someone who wouldn’t be afraid to “tell it like it is” but do it with compassion (empathy, but not pity). Maybe I’ll try to learn how to build an accessible website and distribute newsletters and have a blog and forum for survivors as well as survivors and supporters who are blind. My husband is blind and before he met me was in a stormy relationship with a woman with borderline personality disorder for 15 years and from what I’ve heard both from him and from the neighbors, it was pure hell. The way we met and married is almost like a fairy tale. (He basically rescued me out of an institution) and, while he is cautious and skeptical and protective of me and has some reason to be given some former behavior like impulsive spending, overdosing, self-injurious behavior, psychotic loss of touch with reality etc., he loves me and I never thought I’d find anyone who even remotely understood or had knowledge of the kinds of things I was dealing with. He is still distrustful of professionals, still won’t let me control either my meds or my finances and, though I hate to admit it and I’m trying to gain a little more independence each day, like instead of having him have to dispense each dose, letting me have a pill organizer with a week’s worth of meds that I can do independently (I used to manage fine with a monthly organizer until one time after I was hospitalized and one of the conditions for my release was that I surrender my meds. I think he likes my therapist and doctor, both of whom I think are great, so that helps.
Well, I’m sorry. I’m really not in a manic episode but I’ve been burning up the keyboard (I used to do medical transcription and my fingers can fly over the keyboard at over 100 wpm but I didn’t like doing transcription all day. I couldn’t stay focused. But I learned a lot when I did it working in a mental health clinic. The only problem with that one was that my mother was my boss, was constantly looking over my shoulder, rejecting any page that had even one error and generally making my life miserable. But she did it to everybody. Anyway, I appreciate the patience of you, Dave, and any of your staff or other survivors/supporters who have been reading. I also invite contact, particularly from visually impaired or blind people or deaf/blind people who are also trying to deal with one or more mental health conditions and trying to navigate the often confusing array of services (or lack thereof) in the mental health and other disability systems. I’ve done a lot of advocacy work for a lot of years and on a lot of fronts for various disability groups, for animal welfare (I do telephone interviewing for prospective adopters for a dog rescue organization and have a reputation for giving the most detailed and objective information to the adoption director while talking casually to an interviewee, making them feel comfortable and throwing in the questions in a way that they don’t feel threatened. I enjoy phone work and that kind of interaction with people, probably because they never know I’m blind unless I choose to disclose it and it seems like the playing field is more equal when that possible source of problems is out of the picture. It’s a bit the same with email. However, I wish this was a forum rather than just a blog because if it were a forum I could get direct responses to my messages from other users on the actual forum and then would be able to feel things out (no pun intended) and get to know someone a little before I gave out my private email address publicly and potentially got flooded with possibly inappropriate emails. I may do that at some time but I’m not ready for that yet.
Anyway, thanks for reading. If anything I said was helpful, I’m glad. If not, I’m sorry I wasted your time. Dave and staff, keep up the good work.

For anyone intrested there are AA meetings online at http://www.aaonline.net They are very helpful. Bipolar medications are not “Street Drugs”, they do not get us high, they are not addictive, nor is it wrong to take them. Like Dave said, our medications SAVE OUR LIVES!!! If those people who are so against medication knew what bipolar was, or how it is to have it… They wouldn’t just stop saying not to take them, they would tell us to take them!

Bob

hi oliver or someone having depression or should i say bipolar.

Now I am having medication for the past 1 year although i break it in between actually I had been taking from 1996.My med is paxidep cr which is paroxitine (generic name) which is better than far better than prozac for me. + olanzapine amnd imipramine at night 10 mg and 25 mg.Paxidep 12.5 mg at mornigh although the dr advisewde me to take 2 pill a day i took only one at mornigh cause it is enough to make me happy. I have mood swing daily.low in mornigh quoite ok in afternoon and happy mood at night. I dont know why. I have a meeting with my psyciatrist on tuesday which is two day after . as i have seen in website this pacidep cause me suicidal tendency when taking it first but now i am ok but i am afraid when will oi be getting next hit will it be situational or purely physiolosigalor or chemical or genetic –my mom is also suffered from depresson dont know whether it is bipolar

Dear Dave,

My sister HAD bi-polar disease also. Same sad ending. I miss her every day, and it’s why I prescribe to this e-mail information about bi-polar disease. I wish I had understood it better before she left me, over 3 years ago. Sometimes I pick up the phone to call her, things happen that I know only SHE will understand the funny side of it.

I also would like to apply, through a previous e-mail I have flagged, for a position to help you. I’m disabled, but I can work from home, right? I have a teaching degree, and also a Bachelor of Fine Arts, a double degree which took 5 years, which I finished, with graduating “Suma”… with 5 kids in the bargain! I used to teach, but I can’t anymore.

I hope you get this letter, but I will have a copy of it in my “sent” file, so I can repeat this info in my actual application.

Does this job pay, or is it voluntary? Of course I would like to get paid, but I can make only “so much” since I’m on SSI, so I need to find out how much I can actually make.

If you don’t respond to this letter, I’ll just go back and apply the “usual” way… lol… I’m an artist, and I live in my “own little world” sometimes, and do things my way… lol.

Thanks for being such a wonderful advocate and support for people like my sister and your mother,

Kerry E. Lyons
p.s. I’m 53.

hello,
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Faith, for me, can be a documentation in between guy as well as Our god which i wear need.