Bipolar Disorder and Emotions

Hi,

How’s it going?

I hope you are doing well.

When it comes to emotions, everyone has them.  So it doesn’t matter, at least when it comes to emotions, whether you have bipolar disorder or not.

But for someone who has the disorder, their emotions can go up and down like a rollercoaster.  So, as a supporter of a loved one with the  disorder, this is one of the first things you have to learn to deal with. Unfortunately, this is one of the things you will always have to deal with, as emotions are a part of the mood swings that are a symptom of bipolar disorder.

In my courses/systems, I list all the symptoms of each of the types of the disorder:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
For now, though, let’s just talk about the emotions of Bipolar I and II.

In Bipolar I, periods of major depression alternate with periods of severe mania. During the mania, your loved one may exhibit the following:

· either elevated or irritated moods (emotions)

·grandiose thoughts, ideas or behaviors

· inflated self-esteem

·decreased need for sleep

· racing thoughts

· unusual agitation

· excessive involvement in pleasurable activities like shopping sprees or sexual encounters

So with Bipolar I, you’re dealing with both high and low moods (emotions).

With Bipolar II, periods of hypomania (a mild to moderate level of mania which  is not severe enough to interfere with your loved one’s ability to function) alternate with periods of major depression.

So if your loved one has been diagnosed with Bipolar II, the worst emotion in them that you’ll have to deal with is their depression.

In general, though you have to deal with the changing, shifting, sometimes rapidly swinging and widely extreme mood swings characteristic of bipolar disorder.

But what about your own emotions?

Do your emotions shift to match your loved one’s?

You need to listen to your own emotions, because they’re like a barometer, and they can gauge what’s really going on with you – they’re usually trying to tell you something.

Emotions are like a guidance system. When you’re not caught up in negative thinking, your emotions will be generally positive, and no mental adjustments need to be made.

But when your feelings (whether toward your loved one, toward their bipolar disorder, or toward life in general) are negative – when you’re angry or hurt, frustrated, disappointed, resentful, stressed, etc. – your emotions are like a warning system that an adjustment needs to be made.

In that case, your emotional warning system is telling you that you need to ease up on your thinking; that you’ve lost perspective; that you’re off track.

The main thing is, you can’t ask your loved one to change their emotional pattern if you’re not willing to change your own.  But on the same token, if you’re successful with your own system, you can teach them how to manage their own emotions!

Hey, I have to head to the gym now.

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

  1. Hey David 🙂
    Just wanted to say ‘Thanks’… After reading the material
    I recieved tonight and yesterday, you have already opened
    my eyes to the little things often overlooked that make such a big difference. Understanding that its the supporter who may also need help ensuring the right advice or help is given is so important…
    Well…looking forward to future reading, thanks again
    Keep smiling 🙂 Jo

  2. It is about time that the topic of non-bipolar people emotions has been discussed. Everyone has ups and downs–that’s is just part of normal living. How does one know what is normal and what is bipolar? The manic part is easier to recognize because the borders of extreme are being pushed or exceeded and it’s more obvious. Depression is another matter. Everyone will experience some level of depression at one time or another in their lives. I believe it is true that one can influence his/her own thinking and improve a bad mood. Kinda like “get a grip on yourself” or “pull yourself together”. Although these comments are not fair for any individual, they are more possible for the “normal” person. The bipolar person doesn’t always have the choice or the ability to change their thinking. The disease and the brain chemistry has pulled us into the abyss and often we cannot “pull ourselves together.” by mental determination alone. Again, how do we draw the line between what is normal low/sad mood and what is bipolar depression?

    David, we need more help on this one.

  3. This email has been very informative and helpful. I am currently struggling to tackle bioplar disorder and find it very diffcult to handle my emotions. I find that sometimes I just go into stages where I feel very depressed and fustrated. My loved ones find it really understand me at all. But I am currently doing counselling and trying to deal with things better as I go along

  4. David, I am so please I found your information. I’ve been hurting my family but I REALLY don’t mean too. I am trying to manage my illness now and’live well’. I bought the supporters guide and it arrived in Australia very quickly/

    It has given hope to my partner and at the very least reduced my stubborness about the impacts of my illness and I feel more able to be supported by james my partner. Your words validate what he has been living with and makes it real, makes us realise we can set up plans before episodes happen. We have a two year old and a 13 year old. We have so much to lose and gain. THANk YOU from my soul. We have a lot to work through but finally some realy and validating stuff in your words. THANK YOU!

  5. A poem to share about Bi-polar to those who love me.

    ——————
    It’s seething,
    Just below the surface.
    It can’t be seen
    Right now its barely felt.

    Tiny granules of my soul,
    Are on the move.
    Settled no more
    Slight shifts underground.

    So susceptible to change.
    One grain of my soul out of place.
    Is enough to set off the fragile balance.
    With sea water to try and push it down.
    And try and let it settle as its own progression.
    On the sea bed of my life.
    It’s too late.

    Who can command it?
    Who can contol it?
    Like a turbulent sea with a life unto its own.
    Movement already on its way.
    Building from within.

    Like a drug pumping though my vains.
    That I never asked for or even consumed
    And one doing damage til I wait for it to go…
    AND GET OUT OF MY BODY.
    Dissipate, get out of my system.
    It controls me.

    Who can command it anyway?
    Who can control it?
    God? Is that in your job description today?
    A sailor with a beacon of light.
    Will light save me right now.
    Or a darkened room where all good is gone.
    Light, dark and everything in between.

    I am too far gone. It won’t last too long.
    My relief comes from that.,
    Beforelong it will shift.
    And spray.
    Spraying pain, hurt, words that sting.
    Landing which way it will.

    I didn’t choose this.
    Why the hell would I?
    You didn’t either.
    The greatest honour of love is sacrifice.
    AllI ask is that you love me,please.
    At least love the calm before the storm.

    Hayley Anne Brown

  6. hello thank you for the info you’ve been sending me but what i really having problems with is caring for my partner whos rapid cycling BP 1 and currently being treated for being manic and then caring for our 3 year old and 11 month little girls. can you help

  7. Hello:
    I’m portuguese and my english is very bad.
    My doctor´s and terapis’s say tah i have bipolar1.
    I agree. but they say i have rapid cycles, very rapid.
    it´s a caracterist of bipolar 1 or is otherdesignacion?

    thank’s

    A god day
    Graça Fernandes

  8. My son has had extreme bio polar for the best part of 14 years but his recent episode was quite frightening. He first tried to drown himself in a swimming pool but this did not work, so next put his arm through someone’s window and ended up severing 2 tendons in his are by using broken glass, then not satisfied he put his head through another window and ended up with 27 staples in his neck. The police office who found him after neighbours reported the noise of broken glass saved his life. My fear is what is next, he says fire. This is so frightening and unfortunately my husband has never coped with our son’s illness and has now fled the marital home for good he states. This leaves me alone with these problems and end up thinking about what will happen in the future. I know I should be strong but am having great difficulty dealing with this at the moment as i recently had major surgery myself and did not have the time to totally recover before my son’s episode and then the added fact that my husband has gone my head does not seem to work properly. I am finding it hard to concentrate and am trying so hard to keep my own feelings down for the sake of my sons well being. I do not know how long I am going to be able to deal with all this on my own and feel right now that I have reached the bottom of the pit, as I am sure a lot of other people have to.

    I have been reading and researching bio polar for many many years in the hope that there is that magical solution, but of course there is no magical solution only hope and prayers. Actually I have great difficulty in believing in god right now not just because of my son but all the other things in life that happen to people who do not deserve what happens to them or their families.

    I am sorry to go on and I appreciate receiving your e.mails and read them daily, but right now this does not help me tackle the way I feel. I am myself feeling very depressed and alone as I do not at this moment have a true friend in the world as I have lost these over the years due to many things not just my son’s ill health.

    I wish we all had the magic wand wouldn’t life be so much easier. I really have no idea what point I am trying to make just needed to sound off a bit I guess.

    Perhaps you have some views for me on how to cope when after being married for nearly 40 years and with my son so extreme with bio polar how I can cope with this at the present time, I know things will get easier with my marriage break down but does life get easier.

    Christine

  9. It is my friend that has been diagnosed with having bi-polar, however, I just came into the picture about 2 1/2 years ago. What I’m dealing with are the unusual agitation. She speaks to me as if I were a child, snapping at things I say, like: we were driving into a mall & I have MS, so we park as close to the entrance as possible, yesterday I saw one that was in the shade and pointed to it, I got the snapped response “will you just relax, I know what I’m doing, your always uptight and you make me angry at that” yesterday was not a good day for me because of the heat, I closed my mouth, but when we got out, she said”oh was that parking space there when I drove In?” I answere yes and that was what I was attempting to show you. She swings high and low in a matter of minutes, she is unwilling to tak emedication for her disease, by the way I’m 14 years older than she is! Thanks David for all your good work, it is appreciated and I appreciate you and your effort to teach the public about this disease. Have a blessed day and hope that work out in the gym went well!

  10. Dear DavidL finally you made mention os bi-polar 2. All of your e-mails are focused on bi-polar1. I have been reading your e-mails for a long time and was always wondering what episodes are. Since i am a 2 i only have to deal with depression. I would like you to inform me and perhaps other bi-polar 2 people what thes episodes consist of. Therefore i do not feel connected to most of your material.
    Evelyn Stuart

  11. Hi Dave,
    Todays email is right on. I was just asking my husband how to respond to an email from my 28 yr old son who was diagnosed with BP at age 16. My husband of five yrs. is just now in the process of being diagnosed himself. I’ve spent the past year talking to him about having Bi Polar disorder. Hi symptoms really started coming out about a little over a year ago after he lost both his sister(his best friend) and his Mother within 3 weeks of each other. He displayed symptoms before that but didn’t have as many episodes as he does now. He also lost his job a year ago. He has been through hell as have I. I’ve learned through your emails and other readings along with prayer how to cope for the most part. Don’t get me wrong, it is still an emotional roller coaster but you have helped me survive. My son is adopted so he is my first experience with living with a loved one with BP. My son lives in Ca. and I’m in Fl. I just received an email expressing his anger and frustrations toward me. I’m not sure if I should respond to his email or wait for him to come out of his episode. I’m inclined to wait because he is not in a place where he can hear what I am saying to him. Am I right or wrong? This is where I am at a loss.
    Eileen Moore
    P.S. Dave you are so appreciated. You are one of my Angels.

  12. I want to tell you what a blessing finding your website has been to me. About 4 months ago I moved to India to be with my husband, leaving my family, friends and entire support system in the States. As soon as we finish his paperwork for immigration we will be back to the States. This has been a tremendous help to me. My husband does not understand bipolar but spoils me rotten. I was diagnosed 10 years ago. My mom and siblings have always encouraged me to do as much on my own as I can, to be independant. It was horrid and very hard at times, but I know it was the best thing for me. Now my husband, and most of this is cultural, wants to wait on me hand and foot. He loves me and even more – RESPECTS me! I’ve been stable most of the time that we have been together. Although it is his belief that I can do ANYTHING in the whole world that is a tremendous help. He is very encouraging and seems to say the right thing without knowing he’s said it. Mom is like that too. I have him read this column every day. Although he swears I am not mentally ill (thanks to medications, meditation and counseling I got a while ago) I hope this helps him understand a little bit. I tell him it is his “practice” in reading English for the day. His English is very good, but he wants to improve. This is my way of helping him improve and trying to get a little bit of information about BiPolar in him.

  13. my daughter is bi polar 2. I always feel like I have to walk on egg shells around her because I never know how she is going to react to what I say.
    It is very difficult and frustrating. She is 25 and lives at home with us.
    She is in therapy, however, not sure if it is really helping as much as I’d like to see. Meds have helped keep her more on an even keel, but she still seems to take things the wrong way when I talk about them. She refuses to talk about her problem to me or my husband, for some reason she wants us to think she’s “perfect”. Is this a common trait of the disease?
    Lou

  14. Dave,
    I have been educated on bi-polar also. Like you said a lot of things are learned from others and reading but the thing that helped me more than anything when I was in a manic mode was support groups, just knowing there were others like you and you would hear their stories and not feel so alone. I went thru a divorce, abandoned my children and am very happy today. God answers prayers and I thank God every day that I found a medication that helps me. But there is one ingredient all of us bi-polars need and that is “LOVE”. I feel I got a second chance and am now finally able to cope with my illness. I probably got way off base for this blog but just felt like adding my two cents.
    Your a blessing and wish I had come across this website a long time ago.
    Thanks Dave,
    JONI

  15. One more thing Dave, my emotions are messed up also. I am a very sensitive person and my feelings get hurt oh so easily. You have now made me aware that I am normal and this is why medication is so important!! Have a Blessed Day and hope to continue enjoying this website. JONI

  16. Dave, thanks for writing about both bipolar I and II. I do think there is a clear difference between the two. I have read about many instances when the doctor previously misdiagnoses the patient as having Major Depression. With the incorrect diagnosis, people are given the wrong medication, which just makes the condition worse. I know psychiatry is very complicated and being a science, is far from perfect. But, I think having the correct diagnosis from the start puts a person on the right track. I hope that you will continue to write about bipolar II. Thanks!

  17. wow i cannot believe how many people are experiencing the same thing. Caring for a loved one with bipolar is the toughest thing ever and yes it is like walking on egg shells. everything you say is misunderstood. it is so frustrating. my boyfriend has not been clinically diagnosed but he has all the symtoms. i am lost within myself and i am starting to self destruct. i can handle the depression and the highs and lows but when all the rage is directed at me and the stinging words and the hurtful accusations well thats the hardest part. when you have done nothing wrong but get all the anger. this is killing me slowly. i have lost all my spirit. i cannot tell him either as he will really explode so its a no win situation. i just hope that one day he is able to realize he has a problem and seek treatment,be i am around or not.i feel like i am a severly emotionally abused person just going back for more and i seriously cannot do it anymore. i am lost and so hurt,but this is beginning to hurt everyone around me. my 3 year old is also feeling it through me, and is constantly asking me why i am crying. its not fair on her. its not fair on me, being screamed at, degraded, made to feel guilty for his mistakes,the list goes on and on, but i will be here all night. i wish things could be better as i love him with all my heart. but he refuses to see any doctor and i cannot deal with this on my own. it will kill me. he is extremely stubborn and his episodes are extremely bad and weekly. i cannot live like this and neither can my little girl. gosh i am accused of doing things i am not even doing. its bad so terribly bad that i feel like i am beginning to image him, and thats never been me. i have lost all who i am in trying to save him. trying to understand. trying to be patient. trying trying trying. its consumed me.i cannot save him. what to do???? i am in turmoil.

    just my thoughts for the night. hopefully someone will understand.

    Chontel

  18. To HAYLEY: WOW!! What an AWESOME poem – I’ve felt EVERY emotion in it; the ability to experience and then write what bipolar really IS, is a gift. Please continue to write; you truly have a God-given talent.

    Since I sold my apartment house 3 years ago, I haven’t been able to express emotion very easily. I find it VERY difficult to cry. However, if there is a story about an abused child/animal, I will cry at the drop of a hat! I know that seems like a normal response – and it probably is…

    My emotions seem to be “in check” most of the time; growing up, I was extremely emotional. I’ve had bipolar disorder for 40 years, and am now “maintained” on the proper medications and therapy, and feel I am a highly functional, “normal” person. Except for the occasional “hostile” reactions I feel toward someone (usually my therapist), I hold everything “in” and deal with it when I’m alone – which is all the time (I’m twice-widowed). Thank God, I DON’T have a supporter; I might make their lives miserable!!

    So – what I get from this email is – it’s perfectly “normal” to not hide your emotions, but let them out APPROPRIATELY, so they don’t hurt anyone – especially yourself!!

  19. I relate to Cristine Williams’ story above. My son, 30 years old now, was diagnosed with bipolar disorder 5 years ago. Prior to that, we attributed his anger and mood swings to his flagrant and admitted use of drugs. He has been hurtful and damaging to our family and almost killed one of my ther sons, his elder brother, about 5 years ago before we knew what was wrong with him. He went on medication for bipolarism after his diagnosis but presently believes he was misdiagnosed. His behavior towards me, his mom, is bitter, beligerent, angry and verbally abusive. I have been told by psychiatrists that I am his trigger and it really doesn’t matter whether I ask him something as simple as “how’re doing today” or “what cha doing today” or “what time is it”, he will find a way to be angry at me for interfering in his life. I have been helping to raise his nine year old son for nine years with the mom. My son and she never married and until approximately a year ago, my son wouldn’t even have know his son’s name or where he was if it hadn’t been for my husband and I maintaining a relationship with our grandson all these many hard years. My sisters think that my son with bipolarism has “ruined” my life and that his abusive behavior toward me cannot be blamed on bipolarism…..bad behavior is bad behavior, period. So, I am now trying to distance myself from this son while at the same time not abandoning my grandson who lives with his mother 50% of the time and another 50% of the time with us when she is travelling. My son still comes and picks up his son to spend time with him but usually not more than a couple of days if that. After years of his abuse and our working so hard to try to be supportive, understanding and giving to he and his son, we have finally decided to “detach” from my son and only interact as necessary around the needs of our grandson. I can honestly say that it is a relief to admit our inability to “connect” with our son on any appropriate or productive level and move on. My husband is 70 and I am 60—-we don’t have much time left and have decided that that which we do have left will be quality time for ourselves. What are your thoughts on this….by the way, my son refuses to see a therapist or take any more meds…..he is currently in a productive hypomanic state….we are sure the depression will hit sooner than later…..thanks for any input. J

  20. Chontel….I just read your email….I cannot tell you how exactly you have described my life with my bipolar son who is now 30 and has been abusing me yelling, angry, beligerent, name calling etc for the past 12 years. I am detaching…..I hope you will be able to do the same…..Love DOES NOT overcome all things. Sincerely, Joan

  21. HAYLEY, I love your poem. Although I am not bipolar I can relate to all the emotions in it.

    CHRISTINE, I think your son needs to get treatment asap. My heart goes out to you.

  22. I haven’t been diagnosed with bi-polar as of yet. I know I have it just from reading about it. My mood swings are really bad, they are so bad they have cost me my marriage.
    I plan to visit my doctor on Monday to see if there is something she can do to help me. I go to therapy but, it doesn’t help. Actually I think it makes me worse. My moods are so bad I can’t even hold a job. I go off on people all the time.
    Maybe I can get on some meds to control my mood swings. It’s too late for my marriage but it may help later in life.
    I try telling myself that I’m ok, that it’s everyone else that has the problem.
    Thanks For Listening,
    Lorrie

  23. Chontel, I understand and have felt all of the emotions you’re feeling. I was married 27 years to the same type of man you are describing. It was destroying not only myself but my children. My recovery has taken a long time. He’s been out of the house for over a year and a half. I still care for him and would help, but we’re walking on less eggshells now. His episodes still affect us, though not as directly. I finally have a peaceful, loving household. Do whatever you have to do to make you and your daughter happy. I use to say we had a sick house, as his moods controlled everything. My thoughts are with you and all supporters and sufferers.

  24. I feel very conected to this email. My boyfriend is BP. He has severe mood swings. He moving to AZ and I would love to go there with him, but am not sure if that is what he wants or not. He won’t say. I love him very much and do not want to be apart from him. I have noticed that my emotions run rampart about the time that he has one of his episodes. He doesn’t want me to tell him that I love him. Before he got home he told me that if I was truly committed to him that my wedding rings would be off my right hand. ( I am a widow of 5 years.) I took them off and he hasn’t said a word about them. So I took the bull by the horns and showed him that they were off my hand. I was married to my late husband for 32 years. When I took the rings off my hand it felt right because I want things to work out for my boyfriend and me. Just not sure that is what he wants though. I love Robert very much and I did not think that I would ever feel this way again and I really don’t want to be hurt. Thank you for all the emails. I am learning a lot about Bipolar and manic episodes. Thank you again.

    Thank you for letting me ramble.

    Phyllis

  25. hi dave read some of your emails dont have to much time my 30 year old daughter has gone to the second stage first she was extreamly nasty and thew things around now she has got calming tabs from doc but now she goes out looking too sexy leaves her 2 kids of 3years behind and goes looking for any guy too have a good time there are 5 hundred empty cider bottles in the house and vodka bots every where she does not come back for two days we dont know if she is alive or dead she is also doing drugs im sure nobody from the guvement wants to help they just want to take the kids and let her rot they say she has to ask for help which she wont what do they get paid for do you have a book we need help fast now please i dont want to be burying her soon its urgent she will get her self killed she is getting mixed up with the bikies she will get gang raped she has allready been raped what can i do please tell me

  26. thank you everyone for your advice. i am having a very bad day today. i am so down and feel well just very broken. boyfriend has isolated himself in his house.wont answer his phones.been like this since wednesday. sent me smses on friday which confused the living daylights out of me,first saying he wanted to talk then he did not then he did then he did not to then switching his phones off. been sobbing my eyes out. why do i feel like i am always the one doing wrong here? i was explaining to a friend yesterday that i feel so guilty. she said for what, giving so much love and support and having it thrown back in your face. everybody keeps telling me its not me but i am so confused about who i am and what i believe in. you see he tells me to do something, i do it, then i am wrong. if i do not do it he goes into this rage and proceeds to tell me i do not care. i feel like i am the one loosing it to be quite frank. its like what do you do? you have someone you really love but they just do not see it, that everything you say and do is wrong. i have asked him why everything i do and say is wrong, last week actually. “his response: ” well then i am obviously not the right person for you”. its like huh. he thinks because he is the ultimate gentleman that he is untouchable. how women just all want him and i am so lucky. and keeps reminding me of it too.

    Phyllis i really connect with your story in so many ways.

    anyway everybody have a good day. we will keep our chins up!!! my heart and thoughts are with all the supporters and sufferers of bipolar and good luck!!!

  27. Chontel-

    It is NOT you!!! Everything you describe is still all to familiar to me. It’s how the bipolar works. It is abuse in no uncertain terms. You might want to consider talking with a therapist for yourself. I did and it helped me regain some of my self worth. I used to say: when he’s good, he’s very good, but when he’s bad, he’s awful. I feel like I looked EVIL in the face.
    It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, leaving my husband after 27 years. It was harder on me than when my father died. I went through the guilt of leaving a sick man (in sickness and health) but in truth, I too was becoming ill and was no good to my family. It was so very hard to do, but absolutely necessary. I often wonder how the person with bipolar really feels, as I know the rollercoaster of feelings I have are/were devastating, and they live it. I have no doubt it is harder on them. I’m so very sorry you’re having a hard time. I wish you and all supporters and sufferers peace.

  28. Gail – thank you very much for your sympathetic words. i really appreciate it and i hope you are now well and coping. have a very good day and remember you did what you did for you, and your family be it looked at any differently. some of us are strong to a point,but sometimes it is just not enough and you have to be strong.something i would love to be. well enjoy your day and lets all wake up tomorrow morning with a smile and laugh, however hard. good luck and be well

  29. Oh my gosh, Chontel, I see my relationship over again, walking on eggshells and feeling guilty of nothing. My husband demanded the divorce and at first I hestitated, but in reality he did me a favor. My advice “Run like your hair is on fire” You will be much more happier. True, I feel sad at times and wonder how he is doing but my home is so much at peace and my son and I are so happy.

  30. This newsletter item did not mention ANXIETY as a part of bipolar…when I was first diagnosed with bipolar, I didn’t believe the counselor b/c at that time I never had the Happy Mania. She said my high anxiety state, though horrible and miserable, WAS my manic phase in my case. She said it was all about the high energy involved, as well as other related items such as the racing thoughts and lack of sleep. Is this true? I’m currently being treated for both bipolar and anxiety disorder–are they separate conditions that can co-exist? Or is it true that the high anxiety state can be just a manifestation of the underlying bipolar? Also, should I continue treating both conditions as separate disorders in either case? Please let me know…I’m in bad shape and need some good answers. Thanks a bunch!

  31. thanks for the advise. it all helps very much. i like your saying run like your hair is on fire. that made me laugh.

  32. by the way if anybody is wondering if i ever do sleep, i do i am just on the other side of the world, so the times that do appear are actually like 10 or more hours behind.

  33. oh goodness my brain. sorry i am 6 or more hours ahead of the time given. i sucked at maths at school. that or i am going nuts.

  34. Hiya David

    It’s been awhile since I wrote so here is an update. As you know I can’t get my partner into the Hospital because his Gp says he doesnt need it, poor sod was very upset and frustrated it took alot of guts to admit he has a problem. So I guessed we decided to to do it ourselves. NOT EASY!!!
    Anyway I am very happy…why…well because we moved house out and away from the city. I was unhappy and I guess that affected him too. He was soo scared of doing this and oh he had weeks of manic states: oh boy was I stressed. now thats the bad parts…. We finally moved last september.
    We are now July…. I cannot believe the difference in the man and I am so glad he chose to move because it was worth the stress. He admitted with me that the city was doing more harm than good. I remembered your advice to work out the triggers as it helps. The city was the biggest trigger of all. Not only has he quit drugs but now only drinks once or twice a week! He still suffers insomia so the drink just gives him that break to allow catching up from no sleep. I know they self medicate so instead of being critical I let it go although I maintain that it is no more than that. I have the pocket money so I guess he has to comply. He is very happy about it surprisingly and he feels much more content. I go to university whilst he cooks my dinner and looks after my son afterschool. If we ever get the opportunity to see someone we will, just a matter of time. When he feels like grumpy and miserable he locks hmself away and does tidying up or tinkers in his shed or gardening and it lifts his moods. I don’t argue with him unecessarily and the times he is on his own allows him to get through the days without stress. His sharp hearing can sometimes depress him at times (too much noise) he can think alot as they are in their own heads despite tv being on. Sometimes too much company can be a trigger. Now his creativity is blossoming, he is so bright. its ashame that there is such a stigma against people who can’t read or write so he is debating starting his own business. (trouble is he has too many talents to choose from and he is in his forties).

    Supporters out there just need to realise that triggers are sometimes right under their noses.

  35. Melissa, Mania is not always happy – when it is, it’s good, but often it is just super-amplified irritability, impatience, insomnia, out-of-control tempers, uncontrolled spending, etc.

    It could affect your anxiety or you may have an underlying phobia like agoraphobia (google this one, it’s quite interesting). if you have one, it will explain a lot. You seem to have a lot of technical questions, but if does not really matter if your anxiety is part of BP or if it co-exists – anxiety needs to be managed, by meds or therapy, and there is a lot of literature pointing to therapy being most effective (much more & long term than drugs).

    Holistically speaking, you can’t really separate conditions and treat them in isolation. I think it is very important to not only understand yourself, but to accept yourself (accept not excuse) and then work on your state of being one day at a time.

    Evelyn, episodes are “states”. See http://www.psycheducation.org they discuss cycles and have a very neat graph of intellect / Emotion / Energy, which really explains a lot.

    I am not a supporter, I rapid cycle and have mixed states, but I would imagine that the support and understanding of people with BP 1 & 2 may be quite similar – as moods change without notice, have no causes, follow no rules. Granted, BP 1 is the most pronouced, regarding mania – but that does not make 2, rapid-cycling or mixed states any easier to deal with.

    I think this has a massive impact on the supporter, regardless of the type. The mindset, coping strategies, management systems for all the variations may have more in common than you think – don’t close your mind to tips and hints for BP1, you may miss something really special. I have found some gems on this site / blog – not only for BP but just for life in general.

    Then to all the supporters (especially of adults) on this blog – I take my hat off to you, your loved one has no idea how lucky s/he is.

    One thing i have to mention though – no matter how good you are, you are no good if you fall apart. Don’t “support” at the cost of your own sanity or survival. Your first responsibility is to you. If you can’t stand on your own to feet, you can’t help someone else to their feet. If you feel like you are falling apart, get help or get out.

    Stay sane!

    Meg

  36. thank you so much for your emails i have been reading them for almost 2 years and they have been very helpful in dealing with friends and loved ones with the symptumes of bipolar. it has taught me so far to sit back and let events unfold and to not judge right away on what people say and do that there may be something behide the reason why they act the way they do. again thank you very much. eagerly waiting the next page

  37. Hi Dave~~Thanks for your e-mails,very informative and very helpful. QUESTION: Is this hereditary? What age does it usually manifest?
    Thank you. God bless you for your service!

  38. My husband has been ill for over 6 years now and the Dr. has diagnosed him with severe depression but the last two years have been different. With what I have been reading, its definately BIPOLAR!!! I just don’t have the support as people cannot believe that such a mild mannered man can have mood swings like I tell them. Its like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. When he is in his episodes, he is sooo mean! I get blamed for everthing. How do I convince the Dr. of his mood swings and my suspicions he is bipolar. She is only treating him for depression. By the sound of what I have been reading, he should be on different meds.

  39. It seems that people with bipolar and their supporters are constantly dealing with the extremes of handling the emotions of the disorders. We must constantly remind ourselves that we are worthy and have a purpose in life. Sometime dealing with the highs and lows can in the end become divine intervention for us all.
    Sometimes we have to do are say things that are the hardest for us to do in order to keep things balanced. A rose is beautiful, but it also has thorns that can hurt. We should practice dealing with TRUTHS. The Buddha teaches that : In order to enter into a state where there is no desire and no suffering, one must follow a certain Path, That is the: Right View, Right Thought, Right Speech, Right Behavior, Right Livelihood, Right Effort, Right Mindfulness and Right Concentration. Enlightenment is key.
    If we can discipline ourselves and those around us with self acceptance, love, patience and the will to keep thriving through life; then it will be less stressful and the suffering will cease eventually.
    Sometimes we let love ones do or say mean and hurtful things to us because we are afraid of the consequences but they need to know that when they are hurt, you hurt too. When they suffer, you suffer as well. You can’t keep banging your head against the wall and expect it not to collapse, heed the reg flags, and follow the signs.
    I try to keep from running the movies in their head and be the star of my own life because no matter where you come from or what you’ve been through, your past do not determine your future. And as long as you have the breath of life, you can start over. You limit yourself -when you limit yourself.
    I don’t mean to just babble on and on but, just needed to vent. by the way Meg, you are so right.

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