Bipolar Supporter Blog

Hi,

How’s it going today?

You know, I come out with new reports all the time, because I want
to help people. That’s my bottom line.

I want to keep you up-to-date and give you new information all the time,
information I think you should know.

And most people thank me, telling me how good the reports are, and how
much they enjoyed them, and how much they learned from them.

I’ve even had people tell me how a report saved their life or the life of
their loved one!

Others have told me how a report saved their marriage!

But look at what this person wrote
me:

“I don’t belive in what most of what
you say. unsless of course you DO have the
SUPPORT of others ( like you say ).Tell
me..how do you get that?!!!!
Amanda”

Well, what do I say to that?

What would you say, if you were doing what you believed in most, and you
thought you were helping a lot of people, and someone came along and
trashed what you were doing?

First off, I read the comment again very carefully.

I tried to read it without my first emotional reaction.

Look at the first line: “I don’t belive in what most of what
you say.

MOST of what I say.

Well, that means that she at least believes in SOME of what I say,
right?

That means I’m getting some good information out to her, and that’s
encouraging to me.

I never said that everything I write is going to please everyone.

I know that some of what I write, that some people might think I’m
crazy for writing (especially when I talk about my crazy friends! : )

Or when I talk about some of the things that happen to me (and, yes, they
really do happen to me).

Or how I tie everything in to bipolar disorder. Even the strangest of
things!

Or when I post some of the comments, like this one, that this lady
wrote to me.

But the important thing is that I’m honest. That’s the one thing that I am.
Because I believe in what I do, and that’s who I am.

I assume you’re honest, too. Would you be defensive about that? Would
you defend yourself against the comments that this woman made if she
made them about you?

In my courses/systems, I talk about the importance of having a strong
support system.

NEW
LEARN THE SECRETS OF THE MOST SUCCESSFUL WITH
BIPOLAR DISORDER?
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/bipolarmastersystem/

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
I only bring that up because it sounds to me like this woman doesn’t have
one, or else why would she ask me:

“unsless of course you DO have the
SUPPORT of others ( like you say ).Tell
me..how do you get that?!!!!”
How DO you get the support of others?

If you have bipolar disorder, you get it by developing a strong support
system, like I was saying before.

How does a supporter get the support of others?

By developing their own support system.

By not isolating, by not letting the world of bipolar disorder overwhelm
them, by having their own set of friends, etc.

How do I get the support of others?

I give them good information that they need to know.
What about you?

Do you agree or disagree with the woman who wrote that comment on my
blog?

What would you say to her?

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

How’s it going?

I was talking earlier this afternoon
about weight loss and many people
mentioned that they needed help
with how to lose weight if you
have bipolar disorder.

Good news.

I had a program called:
the Amazing Fat Burning Formula for
those with bipolar disorder.

For more information visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/specialoffer/amazingfatburningbpe/

Dave

Hi,

I hope you’re having a good day.

Today I want to talk to you about a principle I’ve learned called:

ACT AS IF

Yogi Berra once said, “You can observe a lot just by watching.”

When we watch other people, we learn how to “act as if.”

We watch a patient person, and we learn how to be patient.

We don’t have to spend $150 on a course we buy through the mail, or attend a college course, or get a degree in patience, or pay $1,000 to a “patience coach” to teach us how to be patient — we just “act as if” we are patient, until we become a patient person.

Over time, we will become more patient.

If we watch how good listeners listen, we can “act as if” we know how to listen.

Then, one day, we will realize that we really do know how to be a good listener!

Of course, we can’t just watch a doctor and “act as if” we’re a doctor and one day put a shingle on our door and begin practicing medicine, but I think you can understand the principle.

Here’s how it applies to bipolar disorder:

Say you have bipolar disorder, and you go to your bipolar support group, and there’s someone there who is really stable.

Well, you observe them, and you “act as if” you are stable.

Over time, IF you do the same things that they do to be stable, then, you can be stable, too.

Same thing with being a supporter.

If you see someone who’s a good supporter, “act as if” you’re a good supporter, and IF you do the same things they do to be a good supporter, then, over time, you can be a good supporter, too.

Here’s how it can work with attitudes:

If you have a bad attitude, just “act as if” you have a good attitude and, with time, you will have a good attitude!

I talk a lot about how very important it is to have a good attitude, whether you have bipolar disorder or are supporting someone who does, in my courses/systems:

NEW

LEARN THE SECRETS OF THE MOST SUCCESSFUL WITH

BIPOLAR DISORDER?

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/bipolarmastersystem/

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

If you’re in a bad mood, even, just “act as if” you’re in a good mood and, over time, you will be in a good mood.

Same thing with understanding.  Pick a person you know who you consider an understanding person.  Observe them.

Then “act as if.”

Pretty soon, you will be an understanding person, too.

And if you’re a supporter, you know how important being understanding of your loved one is.

Whatever characteristic you want, this principle will work for it.

Try kindness, for example.  Find someone who is kind, then “act as if.”

If you want to be a hard worker, find someone who is, then “act as if.”

Or creative.  Everyone can be creative in some way or another.  Now, I’m not saying everyone was born to be a Picasso or an actor or a famous composer or writer.

But everyone has some creativity in them.  Find someone you would like to model.

Then “act as if” you are creative, and you will be!

You can do anything you want to do.

You can have any characteristic you want to have.

You can be anything you want to be.

Just “act as if.”

If you have bipolar disorder, and you want stability, then “act as if” you are stable (just remember to do all the things you need to do in order to be stable as well).

If you want to be a good supporter, then just “act as if” you are a good supporter.  The rest will come over time.

If you want to be a good person, find a good person whose qualities you admire.

Then “act as if” you already have those qualities.

Over time, you will have those qualities.

Just remember the principle of:

ACT AS IF

Try this principle for yourself.

Then let me know the results.

I love hearing success stories!

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

How’s it going?

Having a good day, I hope.

Listen, I was reading a ton of posts on my blog and thinking about how many times people with
bipolar disorder get excused of all kinds of things that they don’tdo.

In other words, “Don’t jump the bipolar gun,” so to speak.

Look, I have an organization that has done great because most of the people that are running it have a mental illness.

Believe me, this is on purpose.

I’ve had problems in my business before.

Now, don’t jump the bipolar gun and assume it was with people who had bipolar disorder, or other mental illnesses!

In fact, it was just the opposite!

The biggest problems…

The biggest disappointments…

The biggest personality clashes…

The biggest losses of money…

ALL came from people who did NOT have a mental illness!

It’s kind of amazing, actually.

I can totally count on the people with a mental illness, but many times I can’t count on those
without one.

It’s a sad fact, but true.

I am actually amazed myself.

Long ago, I found out that the stable person with bipolar disorderis truly incredible.

I talk about the ways to get stable
in my courses/systems below:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
But as long as the person is taking their medication as prescribed and not having any problems with it, they can be stable.

And as long as they are seeing a doctor, psychiatrist, and/or therapist on a regular basis, they can be stable.

Couple that with some other things, like the right amount of sleep, exercise and a healthy diet…

Very little stress in their lives…

Balance between work/school and/or volunteering…

Being productive, yet also spending some leisure time (and also having a social life so they don’t isolate)…

Having a daily routine…

Being balanced professionally, personally, in their family life, socially, physically, spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and financially…

Having a good, strong support system…

And if they have a good relationship with their supporter…

Then they can have stability with their bipolar disorder.

Good, solid stability.

And THOSE are the people who make the best leaders…

…the best employees…

And those are the people who work for me.

Do you know why?

Because somehow stability with bipolar disorder gives them certain qualities (maybe some that they had before, but they seem to be heightened either by their bipolar disorder or by
their stability):

1. Creativity
2. Intelligence
3. Productivity
4. Attention to detail
5. Loyalty
6. Flexibility
7. Independence (don’t need
to be watched over)
8. Dependability
9. Proactive
10. Solution-oriented
11. Good thinkers
12. Can accomplish what they
set out to do
13. Good at setting goals
14. Good for company morale

That’s 14 things!

14 reasons why I hire people with mental illnesses over people who don’t have them!

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not prejudiced, and I do follow best practices when it comes to business – I will hire the best person for the job, whether they have a mental illness
or not, so let’s understand that.

It’s simply that I’ve found that people with a mental illness like bipolar disorder seem to try harder at their jobs than people who don’t have one.

Have you seen the same thing?

Does your loved one fall into the above category?

If you have bipolar disorder, do you have the characteristics I listed above?

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder-The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills

Hi,

How’s it going today?

I want to start by defending myself about something.

I am not an eavesdropper.

No, I’m really not.

But I’m out a lot, I go different places, like to get something to eat,
or to go work out at the gym, or to volunteer, or to the library, or wherever, but I do go a lot of places.

And I hear a lot of things.

I don’t mean to, but I still do.

And there are a lot of negative people in this world, let me tell you!

But there are also some positive people, too.

So I’ve “overheard” someone say, “It was the worst case of the flu I’ve ever
had in my whole life!”

But I’ve also overheard someone else (about something totally different) say,
“It’s the best case of making something out of nothing that I’ve ever seen!”

Two different people. Two different situations. Best case. Worst case.
That’s what I overheard.

But it made me think of bipolar disorder. (Doesn’t everything? : )

It’s about attitude toward your situation.

You can look at things in a “best case” scenario or a “worst case” scenario.

For example, think of a worst case scenario, like:

My loved one could:

Quit their job

Scream, yell, holler

Go into an episode

Stop their medications

Etc.

Now, I am all for having plans for bad situations and being prepared…

BUT you should also create a best case scenario.

Take my mom, for example.

I would have only thought she would keep running up deb.t, stay out of control,
bankrupt the family, create huge problems for everyone, etc.

But then I thought of the best case scenario:

She would get out of de.bt, get stable, get and keep a job, have friends, master her
bipolar disorder, etc.

Now, which is the better way to think?

In my courses/systems, I talk about negative and positive attitudes, and how important it
is to have a positive attitude. If I had given up on my mom, I don’t know if she ever
would have reached stability and be doing as good as she is today.

NEW
LEARN THE SECRETS OF THE MOST SUCCESSFUL WITH
BIPOLAR DISORDER?
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/bipolarmastersystem/

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

I have a friend whose husband has bipolar disorder, and she does it this way:

She takes her two hands and cups them, palms up.

It’s kind of like a game.

She calls it, “On the one hand, and on the other hand.”

So, let’s take the examples I used before.

She would hold her one cupped hand up and say:

“On the one hand, my husband could lose his job.”

Then she would lift up her other cupped hand and say, “On the other hand, he could get another
job, collect unemployment, start his own business, go on disability, or I could get a job.”

See? Right there she came up with 5 good “best case” scenarios out of that one “worst
case” scenario!

Let’s look at another one:

“On the one hand, my husband could scream, yell, and holler at me.”

“On the other hand, I could scream, yell, and holler right back at him, or try to
calm him down and say that he’s an adult and shouldn’t act like that, or tell him that
his behavior is unacceptable, or tell him that I understand that he’s angry and can
we talk about it calmly?”

Again, for the one “worst case” scenario, she’s come up with 4 “best case” scenarios.

Now, here’s one of the worst “worst case” scenarios that supporters worry about:

“On the one hand, my husband could stop taking his medications, go into an episode, bankrupt our finances, and end up in jail.”

And here’s one of the best “best case” scenarios of all:

“On the other hand, we can make sure that
he has a good doctor, psychiatrist, and therapist,
that he sticks to his treatment plan, I can help
him make sure that he takes his medications,
and we can both watch for triggers, signs and
symptoms so that he won’t go into an episode,
I can handle all the finances, including the
checking account and holding all the c.redit cards,
and together we can manage his bipolar disorder
so that he stays stable and manages his bipolar
disorder well.”

Now, THAT’S a plan for stability!

SIX “best case” scenarios right there.

So now when your mind slips to the negative, allow yourself to create a most negative case
scenario AND a best case scenario, whether you use the “On the one hand and on the
other hand” technique or one of your own, and compare the two.

Some people even write them down and compare them.

See which is more likely.

Then ask, how can I turn my negative scenario to a “best case” one?

What about you?

How would you do it?

Or if you already have a technique, what is yours?

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

How’s it going?

You know, many people look at my mom’s story and ask, “What’s the secret? How did she do it?”

After thinking about this question for many months, I have identified the key to her success with bipolar disorder.

It was the fact that she accepted that she had bipolar disorder and she took the diagnosis very seriously.

I think that’s the first step to success with bipolar disorder.

You can’t do anything else until you first do what my mom did.
If you look at most people who DON’T manage their bipolar disorder successfully, you find they do not accept that they have this disorder.

You also find they do not take their Bipolar Disorder seriously at all. These individuals continually pretend they do not have Bipolar Disorder. They almost never learn anything
about Bipolar Disorder and how it is successfully treated.
This is a HUGE mistake!
From the tens of thousands of people on my mailing list all over the world, from speaking with the individuals that work for me who have Bipolar Disorder, and from talking to many people that I meet at all the places where I do volunteer work for those that are supporting people with
a mental illness, I have come to the conclusion that you absolutely must come to terms with Bipolar Disorder.

You must realize that you do, in fact, have the disorder and that it is not going to simply go away.

This is the only way you are going to be able to successfully manage this disorder
and your life.
In my courses/systems, I talk about how, at this time, there is no cure for bipolar disorder, but there are plenty of treatments that work — and work well when taken properly under the direction of a qualified doctor or therapist.

NEW
LEARN THE SECRETS OF THE MOST SUCCESSFUL WITH
BIPOLAR DISORDER?
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/bipolarmastersystem/

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

But you can lead a completely productive life if you want to. But not until you take the first step.
The choice is yours if you have Bipolar Disorder.
You can choose to accept the fact you have Bipolar Disorder or not. Once you accept that you have the disorder,
it paves the way for the next steps toward stability.
You can choose to learn more about it.
You can choose to follow a treatment plan prescribed by your doctor and/or therapist.
The choices are yours, remember.

You can keep following the steps to stability.

Keep learning – don’t just educate yourself, but educate others.

Keep taking your medication (without fail, no matter what), and seeing your doctor, psychiatrist, and therapist whenever you have those appointments.

Following the steps means doing everything you have to do to stay stable.

Keep a good sleep schedule.

Exercise.

Eat a healthy diet.

Stay productive.

Keep a mood chart or write in a journal.

Have a good social life, and do things that you enjoy. Spend time with family and friends.

Don’t isolate, because that can lead to a bipolar episode.

You know the steps you have to take.

These steps keep you healthy.

These steps keep you stable.
Unfortunately, if you choose not to follow this path, you will probably end up as one of the sad stories of people who wind up doing something really bad to someone or something or wind
up killing themselves.
Someone once said that the longest journey begins with one small step.

The first step to stability begins with accepting that you have bipolar disorder.

Now, take the other steps.

If you already have, never stop doing them.

It can mean the difference between stability and instability.

PLEASE FORWARD TO YOUR FRIENDS

Hi,

How are you?

I hope you are doing well.

Here is today’s news.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews423

Lilly’s Zyprexa/Prozac Combo Approved for Depression
DO> Hmm. Interesting combo

Symbyax Approved for Treatment-Resistant Depression

DO> This seems to offer hope for those with
really serious depression.

ADHD Med Reminder Tool
DO> Do you think this will help people?

Cephalon: Seeking More Legitimate Patients for Provigil Follow-on
DO> What do you think?

Suicide Victim’s Family Wants Better Care for Mental Health Inmates
DO> This is a major problem for so many people. Great someone is speaking out.

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews423

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

How’s it going?

I saw this post on my blog the other day:

Gloria writes:

“Well Dave, YOUR partner doesn’t have
bipolar, its your Mom. Its totally different
when you live with it 24/7 and you lose the
love of your life. I don’t mean to be negative
and maybe because my husband beat me up
last week going through his episode. He sure
is alot stronger than me and I guess maybe
its nice to pretend it didn’t happen but it did.

He crashed two days ago, and I am thankful
because I don’t have to worry so much now.
Guess thats where the JOY comes in. I’m
sorry but right now, after being the
SUPPORTER for him for four years of
SEVERE depression and almost three of
CRAZY BIPOLAR, my nerves are SHOT.”
—————————————————–

First let me say, Gloria, sorry to hear this. Secondly let me point out a few things to you
and all my readers.

I DO know what it’s like to deal with a person with bipolar 24/7. I lived with my mom when she was sick. I didn’t leave until AFTER she was well.

I asked my dad to NOT be in the house the majority of the day so I would be the target and not him.

If you have been on my list for a few years, you’ll remember, I didn’t think my dad’s heart could take the stress.

My idea to you is that you have to regroup and come up with a different strategy.

I don’t know your situation but I could guess these strategies would work:

First of all, since you are so stressed out, you have to find a way to get your stress level down.

Many supporters have found that taking a break helps. Some only need a short break, while others need a longer break.

I’m talking about a break from your situation.

I’m talking about actually leaving the house and making a plan outside of your house.

It’s too difficult to make plans for the war, while you are getting shot at so to speak.

In war, the plans are made generally when people are not taking incoming fire.

Another suggestion is that you de-escalate and not escalate. This means that you
avoid arguing at all costs. Agree with him (even if he’s wrong and you’re right).

I have a couple I know who call this “agree to disagree.”

There’s another couple I know who call it “Teflon.” Just let it slide off you. : )

Just get by however you have to.

Another trick is: Don’t take it personally. Ignore all personal attacks.

When he’s yelling at you, practice this:

HEAR, but DON’T LISTEN.

I know, it’s sounds crazy. But with a little bit of practice, you can do it.

You sort of “separate” yourself. You hear the words, but you don’t listen to the meaning of the words. You just sort of isolate yourself from the pain of them.

See? That way you don’t get hurt by them.

Here’s another thing about “isolating” that other supporters have found success with: you can try to “isolate” your husband from his bipolar disorder. You CAN hate bipolar disorder. But keep trying to keep him separate, or isolated from his disorder. This way you can still love HIM (not his disorder in him).

These are like some of the techniques that I teach in my courses/systems:

NEW
LEARN THE SECRETS OF THE MOST SUCCESSFUL WITH
BIPOLAR DISORDER?
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/bipolarmastersystem/

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
One important thing you need to remember that most supporters don’t, is to take care of yourself.

Too many supporters get burnt out because they spend so much time supporting their loved one and too little time supporting themselves.

Then, first thing you know it, they’re too tired and stressed out to be any good for anyone.

Maybe you just need a break to recharge your own batteries.

Make sure you’re getting enough rest and eating right. Make sure there is enough joy in your own life. Take care of yourself mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually.

Then you can focus on your husband.

It sounds like he needs help.

Focus on getting him to treatment and making that your single focus.

Many supporters don’t ever do this.

If his stability isn’t both your goals, then it’s not going to happen.
—————————————————–

What about you?

Do you agree or disagree with what I told Gloria?

What would you have told her?

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.