Bipolar Supporter Blog

Hi, how’s it going? Hope you are doing well.

I met a girl once who had a serious medical condition. It was called hypoglycemia. Now, I guess many people have hypoglycemia, but don’t have a severe form of it. See, a person’s blood sugar is supposed to be in the range of 90-120. If a person’s blood sugar goes too high regularly, it’s called diabetes. If a person’s blood sugar never goes high but has a tendency to go low, it’s called hypoglycemia.

Most people who have hypoglycemia end up with blood sugars ranging between 55-70. Generally speaking, if a person’s blood sugar level gets below 50, you are supposed to call an ambulance for them.

This girl had blood sugar that frequently dropped to the 30’s and even 20’s. She even died one time from it, and got brought back to life. She was supposed to be on a special diet to keep this from happening.

According to this diet plan, she was supposed to avoid sugar, including fruits, and eat a balanced diet between protein, whole-grain carbs, and vegetables. The only problem was, she loved sugar. So most of the time she didn’t follow that plan. So her blood sugar kept crashing. Now, this was serious. She could accidently kill herself this way. But she does it anyway, just because she likes the taste of sugar. It really makes me wish she had more self-control.

But then I have to stop and think. How many times do people who have bipolar disorder not follow their recovery plans because they lack self-control? How many times do they go off of their medications just because they don’t feel like taking them anymore? How many times do they spend recklessly just because they felt like it at the time? How many times do they miss their therapy appointments because they don’t feel like talking that day?

Self-control is a hard thing for anyone to learn, and even moreso for a person who has bipolar disorder. But it’s a funny thing, because you can’t just learn it by learning about it or by thinking about it or even by wanting to do it. You have to learn it by doing it. You have to tell yourself, “Okay, I don’t want to do this today, but I have to, so I’m going to do it anyway.” And then you have to actually do it.

There are some things you can use while you are learning self-control that will help the process along some. Take alarm clocks, for example. They tend to help motivate people to start something, be it get out of bed, start a task, or even stop a task that they could otherwise do endlessly.

Another thing you can use is preventative measures. For example, if your lack of self-control is in the area of spending, then prevent yourself from spending by not even taking your money with you to the store.

If your lack of self-control is in the area of taking your medications, then this needs to be taken very seriously. I would suggest combining the two techniques listed above: Use an alarm clock to remind you it is time to take them, and take preventative measures to eliminate any excuse for not taking them (such as making sure that there is a drink nearby so you don’t have to look for one then.)

Just like with this girl I knew, it can sometimes make the difference between life and death. So it needs to be a priority. What can you do to help along your level of self-control that you need to follow your treatment plan?

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi, how’s it going? Hope you are doing well.

As many of you know, I had a change in careers some time back. I used to work at a very different sort of job, before I realized how serious the situation with my mother really was. Then I stopped working at that job and took a lot of time off to study anything and everything about bipolar disorder.

In the end, it paid off. My mother is now experiencing recovery, and I have a new career that I am happy in. In this case, a change in plans was the best thing possible.

Changes in plans can honestly be scary though. You never know if it’s going to be for the best or not. Plus, you had spent that entire time making those other plans, only to change them?? It usually seems like it’s the worst case scenario.

Change is uncomfortable no matter what, but when it threatens what you thought was your future, it can be downright frightening. But sometimes it is for the best. Like, for example, when the plans you had suddenly prove to not be a good thing. They may have sounded like a good thing when you made them, in fact they probably did. But when it’s all said and done, they will do more harm than good.

Sometimes it’s because you just changed your mind. A good example of this is a college student. They get partially through their second year of college, when they have just started to take classes in their field, and they suddenly realize they don’t like that field after all. Well, if they are that early in their college years it will be easy to change their field.

If they are further along it will seem like more time has been wasted. But sometimes, under certain circumstances, that is necessary also. For instance, if someone was going to school for construction, and they suddenly become paralyzed, they might change their major to drafting (making the plans for construction projects.) Since the fields are so similar, it won’t have been wasted time; the time spent in learning construction will actually help them understand the concepts of drafting.

I know of someone who dreamed all their life of this one career, and finally got it. But then they realized that, as much as they loved it, there was no financial security in it. So now they still do it as a hobby, but for a career they have chosen something else.

I’ve heard it said that a change of plans is sometimes the shortest way home. What this means is that sometimes you need to change your plans to get to where you want to go. And if that is true, continuing to try the original plans won’t get you very far.

Now, of course, all of this is for certain circumstances. Not everyone needs to change their plans, and certainly not about everything. You have to use your better judgment to decide that.

But when it does come time to change plans, don’t worry about the time lost. Instead, focus on what you learned during all that time that you can take with you to make your life better, and the lives of those around you.

Now what do you think of that?

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi, how’s it going? Hope you are doing well.

I was talking to someone who has bipolar disorder yesterday. He said that he felt “much too old to have made this little progress in life.” Mind you, he’s only in his 20’s. So in some ways, I took it as a joke at first. But then, as the conversation went on, I realized just how serious he was.

Because he was in his mid-twenties already, he was convinced that he should have graduated from college – at least with a bachelor’s degree – by now. He was convinced he should be well on his way to saving up for a house, instead of left unable to save anything due to his bipolar spending habits.

He was convinced that he should have a car, or at least a driver’s license, by now. Well, maybe that last part was true. But then again, everyone is different, so maybe not.

He was talking to me about how he was making goals at this point to do all those things. He wanted to graduate from college with a master’s degree in social work. He wanted to buy a house. He wanted to learn to drive and buy a car – a new car, at that. He wanted to get into a stable relationship with someone and have it last because he knew how to handle relationships. Ultimately, he wanted stability.

And, he told me, he planned on using the techniques that I had taught him for implementing the goals in his daily life. Well, that’s great! All of those goals are good things. And, honestly, I wish him the best.

But I had some advice for him, which fortunately, he took very seriously. I told him that his patterns of thoughts and beliefs had as much to do with meeting his goals as his actions did. Now, when I say beliefs, I’m not necessarily talking about spiritual beliefs. I’m talking about what you believe you can do, and what you believe about the world around you.

I explained to him that thoughts, beliefs, and actions all go hand-in-hand. When you can get your thoughts and your beliefs to line up with your goals, then your actions will follow.

Now, I’m no scientist. I’m not entirely sure why this works. But I have seen it in action, and I know that it does work. If you can convince yourself that you can do something, then you will be much more likely to successfully go through the steps to do it.

Now, this is different from that old phrase, “you can do anything you set your mind to.” The reason it’s different is this: You can set your mind to, say, buying a house. But if you don’t set your mind to saving for a house, it’s never going to happen.

You have to set your thoughts and beliefs towards not just the end product, but also the necessary steps along the way. And you have to set your mind towards persevering no matter what, because you never know what life is going to throw at you next. Then, once your thoughts and beliefs are in the right direction, you have to actually do it. At that point, it shouldn’t be that hard. At least not impossible, anyway.

It’s not too late for him to start working on his goals (no matter how much he feels he should have gotten there already.) It’s never too late for you to start working on yours. Just remember, whatever you set your thoughts and beliefs to you can do, as long as you set your thoughts and beliefs realistically to do the necessary steps along the way as well.

What are your thoughts on that?

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi, how’s it going? Hope you are doing well.

I just had to help a friend through a tough time. You see, their closest friend had just died. They had to go to their funeral and speak, and that was very hard on them. They told me something interesting. They said it was like life had slammed a door in their face, and there was no hope in it opening up again.

Well, that’s probably true. Chances are, they will not see their friend again, at least not in this lifetime. But they can “see” their friend in the little things in life. That is to say, they can take the lessons and love their friend taught them, and carry it through life with them.

After all, a closed door usually means that a window has opened. You might be asking, what is that supposed to mean? Well, in her case, it means that her loss is not the end of her life, and she will have other opportunities to befriend someone else. And when she does, she can take with her to that friendship all the things she learned about friendship from this other friend.

In other cases, it can mean something entirely different. It usually means that where one opportunity is lost, another one is gained. For example, if a person loses their job, there might be another employment opportunity that is waiting for them to apply at, and this one might be better than the first.

Or, if a person decides that they no longer want to pursue a career they chose, then there might be another career that they would be very good at. It is just waiting for the first door to close so that they can see the window that had been open!

With bipolar disorder, this can come in the form of some very frustrating events. Say your psychiatrist, therapist, or doctor stops being able to see you. Maybe they retired, or maybe they moved. This may feel like a devastating blow. But it’s possible that there is another professional out there that is better suited to meet your needs. You have to have your eyes open to find them though, and that often does not happen until your current situation ends.

Another way a door can close on someone who has bipolar disorder is when a particular set of medications stops working. This can seem impossible to deal with, but it’s not. It does mean that you should see your psychiatrist as soon as possible, but it’s not the end of the world. Your psychiatrist can change your dose or your medication so that you no longer have the problem.

Sometimes it takes time to find that open window. It may take time for you to find a new psychiatrist, or a new medication that works. But in the end it is usually worth it.

Now, all of this isn’t to say that it’s easy dealing with the closed door. I know it’s hard. Just look at what my friend had to go through. But, what it does mean, is that you can move on with a lesson learned from it, and find a new opportunity to practice your lesson in.

There are very few things in life that are truly unbearable (although a lot of things feel like it at times.) Have you ever had a situation like this? One where a door was closed, and it was hard to figure out what to do from there? Did you find the open window?

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews487/

Here are the news headlines:

MSU Researcher Identifies Links Between Hypertension, Bipolar disorder
DO> Great article, take a look.

A Local High School Student Overcomes Extreme Odds To Graduate
DO> Wow, this is great.

Mania Increases Risk for Cardiovascular Illness
DO> This is very interesting, take a look.

The Challenges of Treating Youths With Bipolar Disorder
DO> This is so true, don’t you agree?

Mentally Ill Minors Put in Juvenile Hall
DO> Do you think this is right or wrong?

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews487/

==>Help with ALL aspects of bipolar disorder<<==

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
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Your Friend,

Dave

Hi, how’s it going? Hope you are doing well.

I had a talk with a woman the other day. We were at an event, and she pulled me aside and asked if I knew about bipolar disorder. I chuckled a little, and said yes. So she proceeded to tell me about her brother-figure who has the disorder, and who is causing her a lot of problems.

She claimed he was compliant with his medications, but from the way she described his actions, I think he may not have been on the right medications for him. She told me how he would have outbursts of anger towards her, and treat her like she was a scapegoat. And she told me how his life actions were not making sense, and how he still behaved in ways that weren’t what they should have been.

Then she told me something interesting. She said that all she wanted to do was help, but that he was taking so much out of her when she tried to help that she felt like she needed to break all contact with him.

Does this sound familiar to any of you? Based off that, I immediately knew two things about this relationship. I knew she was enabling him. And I knew that she didn’t have the personal boundaries set up that she needed to have.

In case you didn’t already know, there is a big difference between helping someone and enabling them. When you help someone, you do things that are limited. These are things that might be inconvenient for them to do themselves, but that aren’t necessary for them to develop coping skills or other skills and values.

These are also things that don’t take away from you taking care of yourself. A slight inconvenience on your part isn’t a big deal, every once in a while. But if it starts draining you of your energy, then you know you’ve taken it too far.

It’s like driving down a street looking for a house, and the person you are going to meet has told you that if you come to Robinson Street, you have gone too far. Well, you are driving through your relationship with them, so to speak, looking for a good balance. If you reach the point of exasperation, then you have gone too far. Turn the beepers on, it’s time to back up. LOL.

Enabling looks entirely different. When you enable them, you do things for them that they should have done for themselves. These are things that they needed to do to teach them valuable lessons and skills, and unknowingly you have taken that away from them in your desire to help. In the long run, enabling doesn’t help either of you.

So what does helping or enabling really look like? Well, in everyday life, helping would be noticing that the grocery store is hiring and telling your friend who is job hunting. Enabling would be picking up the application and filling it out for them. Believe it or not, I’ve known people to do this!

In the world of a bipolar supporter, helping might look like finding them a psychiatrist to go to. Enabling might look like setting up the appointment and going with them, if this is something they are capable of doing on their own.

Now that brings up an interesting point. If they are the sort that they are not capable of doing that on their own, then helping them out with it would be okay. Enabling will look a little different in every situation.

Enabling might look like reminding them to take their medications if they often forget, but helping would look more like helping them set up an alarm system that they can use to remind themselves. Once again, this depends on the situation.

It also depends on how much the supporter would have to go out of their way to do it. If you ever “have” to do something that makes you uncomfortable or drains you of your energy to deal with your own life, then don’t do it! Chances are, this is something that they need to learn how to do themselves, anyway. And if it is simply beyond their means, then try referring them to someone else who is more equipped to help them, instead of helping them yourself.

What are your thoughts on this?

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi, how’s it going? Hope you are doing well.

I was talking to a friend of mine today. She was talking about this horrible fear that she has. She is extremely afraid of trains. She is completely convinced that they are as likely to derail as not. She was telling me that a penny on the tracks can derail a train.

Well, I don’t think she’s right about that part. Maybe back in older times with older technology that might be true. But now days, trains are made much more sophisticated than that. They aren’t nearly as likely to derail as my friend thinks they are.

Unfortunately, dealing with bipolar disorder is a little different. Someone with bipolar disorder is much more likely to ‘derail,’ so to speak, than a train is. As their supporters, it is our job to do everything in our power to keep that from happening.

But how much can we really do? I mean, honestly? Well, the (honest) answer to that is: A LOT.

We can help them make a treatment plan, which is basically like the rails that a train rides on to begin with. Then we can help them to stick to that treatment plan. This is like making sure that they don’t derail.

Helping them stick to their treatment plan is not always easy, but it is doable. You can start by making sure that they make it to their appointments for their doctors, psychiatrists, and therapists. Take away any excuses they have to not go. For example, if their excuse is that no one will watch their children while they are at the appointment, then make sure that they have a babysitter that is reliable and trustworthy.

The next step is making sure that they take their medications as prescribed. This isn’t always easy. Sometimes they really don’t feel like it for one reason or another. But keep reminding them of their goal of recovery, and of how much better their life will be once they are stable.

Remind them of how much worse they do when they are off the medications, and help them to realize how much better they will be if they stay on them. Be prepared to remind them every time it is time for them to take their medications, and there may even be a struggle to get them to want to every time.

This is especially true if they are depressed, because they may not want to get out of bed to take the medications. Take away every excuse, once again. Bring their medications to them, if you need to, along with a glass of something to drink with them.

The next step to keep them from ‘derailing,’ so to speak, is to give them feedback on how they are doing. If they are talking too fast, or if they are sleeping all day, or if they are spending all their money on frivolous things, then let them know. It’s possible that they didn’t even realize that they were doing it.

There are many other steps you can take to keep them following their treatment plan, and you can use them all as tools. The real question is, are you prepared to do whatever it takes to help them stick to their treatment plan?

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi, how’s it going? Hope you are doing well.

I was just talking to a friend of mine. They had an unusual experience getting to the train station the other day. First they got given bad directions, so they missed the last train of the night. Then, the next morning, they looked up online where the train station actually was, and discovered it was five miles away from where they were at.

Here’s the catch: by the time they got done paying for the difference between yesterday’s ticket and today’s, they didn’t have any money left for bus fare to get to the station! So they decided they would walk.

Five miles! Can you imagine? And, to make matters worse, it was through country roads in 90 degree weather. So they made sure they had plenty of water with them, and headed off to catch their train.

Throughout their trip, they kept having to step off the road when a car passed by. They were stepping off into grassy areas filled with tall weeds. Then they came across a piece of road kill that unnerved them. It was a snake! All this time they had been stepping off into tall grass when there were snakes present!

But still they kept going. They had to catch a train, after all.

By the time the five miles was up, they were so dehydrated they had a headache and their eyes were aching. They had been sweating so badly, they had to smell by that point. And their legs hurt, to say the least.

But they made their train, and they got home safely. 14 hours of sleep later, they were fine. And now they’ve got one heck of a story to tell!

The point of all this is, they didn’t let anything stand in their way. They kept persevering despite everything that kept going wrong. This is a hard thing to do, but I think it’s worth it in the long run.

There is a phrase: The end justifies the means. Basically what that means is that the rewards you get from persevering make whatever you persevered through worth it.

As bipolar supporters, or people who have bipolar, we have to persevere through a lot of things. It can be easy to just give up. But here’s something to remember: If my friend had just given up halfway through the journey, they would have either have had to walk all the way back, or they would have been stranded.

It is the same for us. We’ve already come this far, why would we want to waste our progress. Besides, there isn’t really anywhere to go but forward. Going back isn’t a good option. Staying in the place you’re in right now doesn’t make any sense at all.

But if you keep moving forward, eventually it will be worth it. Keep the end in mind as you keep going. Remember that your goal is recovery, and when that goal is reached, a better life will follow.

Doesn’t that make it worth everything? I think it does. And I think that you’ll find it does, if you persevere until you get there. What ways can you persevere in your struggle with bipolar disorder?

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

If you are supporting a loved one with bipolar disorder and he/she won’t take their medication, then I have some great news.

I have a great resource for you.

It reveals how to actually get someone to take his/her medications.

Take a look at it:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/specialoffer/getlovedonemeds/

Talk to you soon.

Dave

Hi, how’s it going? Hope you are doing well.

I was talking to a friend of mine today. She was talking about this horrible fear that she has. She is extremely afraid of trains. She is completely convinced that they are as likely to derail as not. She was telling me that a penny on the tracks can derail a train.

Well, I don’t think she’s right about that part. Maybe back in older times with older technology that might be true. But now days, trains are made much more sophisticated than that. They aren’t nearly as likely to derail as my friend thinks they are.

Unfortunately, dealing with bipolar disorder is a little different. Someone with bipolar disorder is much more likely to ‘derail,’ so to speak, than a train is. As their supporters, it is our job to do everything in our power to keep that from happening.

But how much can we really do? I mean, honestly? Well, the (honest) answer to that is: A LOT.

We can help them make a treatment plan, which is basically like the rails that a train rides on to begin with. Then we can help them to stick to that treatment plan. This is like making sure that they don’t derail.

Helping them stick to their treatment plan is not always easy, but it is doable. You can start by making sure that they make it to their appointments for their doctors, psychiatrists, and therapists. Take away any excuses they have to not go. For example, if their excuse is that no one will watch their children while they are at the appointment, then make sure that they have a babysitter that is reliable and trustworthy.

The next step is making sure that they take their medications as prescribed. This isn’t always easy. Sometimes they really don’t feel like it for one reason or another. But keep reminding them of their goal of recovery, and of how much better their life will be once they are stable.

Remind them of how much worse they do when they are off the medications, and help them to realize how much better they will be if they stay on them. Be prepared to remind them every time it is time for them to take their medications, and there may even be a struggle to get them to want to every time.

This is especially true if they are depressed, because they may not want to get out of bed to take the medications. Take away every excuse, once again. Bring their medications to them, if you need to, along with a glass of something to drink with them.

The next step to keep them from ‘derailing,’ so to speak, is to give them feedback on how they are doing. If they are talking too fast, or if they are sleeping all day, or if they are spending all their money on frivolous things, then let them know. It’s possible that they didn’t even realize that they were doing it.

There are many other steps you can take to keep them following their treatment plan, and you can use them all as tools. The real question is, are you prepared to do whatever it takes to help them stick to their treatment plan?

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave