Hi,

I just wrote an article recently that I think a number
of people, really, really, really need.

It’s titled: “Ways to Calm Down Quickly When Overwhelmed”

I have received many emails over the last few days
from people who are overwhelmed with problems from
bipolar disorer. This is supporters and surviviors
of bipolar disorder.

Anyway, here is the article:

Sometimes we don’t even realize how much stress has
built up within us until all of a sudden we feel
totally overwhelmed. Then there are other times when
a stressful situation is immediately thrust upon us
and we are instantly overwhelmed by it. At those times,
we go from a calm state of mind to completely stressed
in an instant.

Whichever situation happens to you, you need to know
how to calm down quickly in a stressful, overwhelming
situation.

There are several easy and quick ways to deal with that
overwhelming feeling. Then you will be better able to
deal with whatever put you in that stressful situation.

The following suggestions may be helpful to you (some may
be combined):

-Take a walk.
Exercise is a great stress reliever, because it is a
natural one. We all have endorphins in our bodies, and
they become excited by any type of exercise, whether it
is aerobics, or just a simple walk. When these endorphins
are excited, they make us feel better naturally, thus
becoming a natural stress reliever, and instantly calming
us down. Walking will give you a chance to think about
whatever it is that put you in the stressful situation to
begin with, and is also a quick and easy way to deal with
that overwhelming feeling of stress – to relax both your mind
and your body.

-Take some deep breaths.
If you cannot leave the situation you are in, you can at
least take some deep breaths. Relaxation experts advise
anywhere from five to ten deep breaths in and out slowly
(to a count of 5), relaxing your body. At the same time,
they advise picking one word or phrase (some call it a
“mantra”) to repeat as you breathe in, and again as you
breathe out. This will help you concentrate on your
breathing, and distract you from the stressful,
overwhelming situation in which you find yourself.
You may not be able to remove your body, but you can
relax it.

Practicing breathing exercises has both physical and
emotional benefits for you. For one thing, you can do
them anywhere and at any time. For another thing, this
type of breathing gets more oxygen into your body and
will improve your ability to think clearly, helping you
to better cope with the situation at hand. With a clear
mind and a relaxed body, you will be able to quickly and
easily deal with that overwhelming feeling of stress.

-Change your perspective.
Sometimes we are our own worst enemy. And sometimes we
create our own stress! Negative thinking is the most
obvious way we do this. Changing your perspective can
work well with the breathing exercises described above.
For instance, pick a phrase such as, “I can handle this.”
Try looking at your situation from a positive perspective.
Think, “What is the worst that can happen?” realizing that
anything less than that is something you can cope with!
Then watch your stress level immediately lessen.

I will be sending part two tomorrow. Also, someone asked
me if my courses/systems cover stress reduction techniques.
They do not focus on this but all material is designed
to provide answers to questions people have and help
people cope and deal with bipolar disorder whether
they have it work not.

Here are the links for more information:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

Well I have to take off for the day. Have a great day
yourself and I will catch you tomorrow. Hang in there.

Your Friend,

Dave

P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/

P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com

Hi,

How’s it going? I have a pretty busy day
today but I wanted to share something that
I spoke to someone yesterday about.

I have a friend who’s wife has bipolar
disorder. It’s a nightmare situation. His
wife doesn’t really take her medications,
she drinks, she is violent, she is manipulative
AND this is all when she is not under
the right treatment plan. He tells me,
the few months that she was doing all
she was suppose to do, she is a great
wife and stable person.

Well I was talking to him and he was telling
me some really disturbing things about himself.
He has gained like 70 pounds. He takes anti
depressants, anxiety medication. He never
exercises. He feels terrible. He can’t run
and play with his kids because he is too
out of shape.

He is basically walking time bomb about to
die because of very poor health. He has
done what I did when supporting my mom
initially.

Let me explain.

When I first started supporting my mom,
I was 221 pounds 8% body fat. After she
went into an episode I was 191 pounds.
I don’t know my body fat. I never looked
at myself but my friends tell me I looked
close to death and like a skeleton. One
friend said that they thought I was seriously
ill but didn’t know how to bring it up to
me.

I never slept because I was worried 24 hours
a day. I completely had all kinds of anxiety.
I never went out with friends. I ate every
other day down from 6 times a day.

All I focused on was helping my mom.

THIS WAS A MISTAKE.

If you are supporting someone with bipolar
disorder, you can NOT let your health
completely go. NOW, you might be thinking
what I was thinking which was, “Oh, I know
I am destroying myself but I am doing it
for a good cause and I will fix myself
up after my loved one is better.” I use
to think that every day.

I believe this is flawed thinking. NOTE
I use to think this way. BUT here’s why
I think it is flawed thinking. You actually
can get so ill that you can be far worse off
than the person you are supporting with
bipolar disorder. And if that happens,
what good are you going to be to your
loved one with bipolar disorder?

I strongly encourage you at least do
the following:

-Try to do some kind of exercise like walking
-Try to make sure you eat at least three meals
a day
-Take some vitamins
-Look for solutions to your loved one’s problems
right away to help cut down on the stress. Don’t
focus on the problem, focus on the solution.
-Don’t dwell on the past it just increases your stress

I really want to sell you on doing this. I think that
seriously could have died at the rate that I was going.
I think probably because I was younger and have done
lots of training for sports I survived.

My friend on the other hand is in really big trouble.
He just can’t keep doing it anymore. The strange
thing is, I gave him EVERYTHING that I have on bipolar
disorder but he hasn’t listened or read one thing. It’s
been almost 8 months.

You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make
him drink is the old saying which seems true with my
friend.

I warned him however that at the rate he is going
with his health, he won’t be around to see his
kids in the future.

I feel really bad but I just don’t know what to do. I
completely believe things can be turned around with
his wife if he follows my system outlined in my
supporter course which he has but has not looked
at?

Anyway, I have to run now. This is a really important
email even though it may be simple. Read it again
if need be.

If you have my courses/systems,

SUPPORTING AN ADULT?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

you’ll notice that many of the people I interviewed
almost destroyed their health supporting a loved
one with bipolar disorder and urge other supporters
NOT do this.

I have to run I will talk to you tomorrow.

Your Friend,

Dave

P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/

P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com

Hi,

How’s it going? What a day yesterday. I spent
hours and hours and hours trying to get
my Nextel phone fixed. It was a TOTAL nightmare.

But this isn’t going to be about my Nextel
phone not working. I have an important lesson
to pass on to you that I remembered yesterday.

Well when I got home from driving around
to I think 4 different Nextel stores,
I went to check my email. I saw a long
13 page fax from someone. I was thinking
“hmmm, I wonder what that is?”

It was a fax from someone who use to
work for me with helping out with all the
bipolar disorder stuff and quit with zero notice.
This person was faxing another time
sheet to me and other information I really
didn’t understand.

If you have been on my list, you may remember
me talking about how someone quit one day with
zero notice. She had a job working for me
where:

You could work f.rom home
Set your own hours
Have fun
Be part of an important cause and help lots of other people
Eventually get a full time in.come
Be challenged
Etc.

It sounds like an advertisement for something
but it isn’t. It was a real job, that she really
had working for me with all this stuff related
to mental health and bipolar disorder.

As you may also know, I have hired a number of
people to help me with this organization, some
of which have bipolar disorder.

First, you may be thinking I hired this particular
person and she has bipolar disorder. Actually this
person was a referral from someone that I know.
This person that quit does NOT to my knowledge have
bipolar disorder or any other mental illness.

Secondly, many people ask so I might as well address
it now. I have I think 8 or 9 people who work for me
with a mental illness. You might want to ask, “What’s
that like?” Some have asked me if it’s a “nightmare.”

It’s absolutely positively NOT. The people who work for
me especially the people who may have a mental illness
are a joy to work with. They do such a great job.

I have nothing but GREAT things to say. NOW this doesn’t
mean every day is perfect for them. It’s not. But I
am not perfect either.

But let me move on to the lesson related to bipolar disorder.

The person I spoke about before quit with zero notice.
She had a bunch of my stuff, passwords to things, information
on how to do stuff that I didn’t know and information
that helped certain parts of the organization function.

I was really shocked. I really wasn’t worried however.
Why? Well let me tell you a couple of things.

Well first, notice the name of my company is The
Leverage Team, LLC. It’s not the Leverage Individual,
LLC.

I believe in teams and working together. I think this
may come from being in team sports for many years. When
I set this up, I knew that I would need a team. I also
wanted no one individual to be greater than the team.
It’s almost like a security system.

In my case, the first person on my team was Pascale
who helped me get everything started. Pascale is super
smart and no only does behind the scenes things. Then I
think the next person was Andrea. Then I think Rod.
Then Michele.

NOW, if you have gotten my courses/systems, on
bipolar disorder you will notice that I talk
about building a team.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

This is SUPER important and a hard lesson that my
family has learned. My mom’s team is her doctor, therapist,
herself, her support system (sister, mother, myself, dad,
Sharon, etc), her pharmacy person, her primary care doctor,
etc.

My mom has a lot of people on her team. And when she has
a problem she works with the team for a solution. I really
encouraged her to do it this way. In the old days there
was no team.

In the old days it was a bad doctor who didn’t care,
no therapist, my mom really wasn’t on her own team, no
pharmacy person, no primary care doctor, her mom or
sister didn’t know about bipolar disorder so my mom
had virtually no team members.

Guess what happen when there was a problem? It was
a total disaster.

NOW, today when there is a problem there are so many
people on the team that can help out and solve problems.
This is one of the secrets as to how I don’t have to
do much any more. I leverage the team.

“Holy cow Dave, you just used the word leverage, that’s
in your company name????”

That’s right it is. Do you know what leverage is.

Here’s the definition from dictionary.com:

lev·er·age

3. power or ability to act or to influence people, events,
decisions, etc.; sway: Being the only industry in town
gave the company considerable leverage in its union
negotiations.

In this case, I am leveraging other people to help
my mom. That’s not a bad thing. It’s a good thing.
In the old days there was nobody to leverage. Today
there are many people.

AND on the note of the person quitting from me
with zero notice, I always had a backup plan
and because since I work with really smart people,
within 2 days of the person quitting there was
a replacement and all is well.

Based on the story that I told you, I will ask you:

Who is on you or your loved one’s team?
What happens if you or your loved one’s doctor, therapist,
etc. retire or get sick? Have a backup?
Who is your weakest link on you or your loved one’s team?
What are you doing to make that weakest link stronger?

These are questions that I had to ask myself back a
few years ago when I first start helping my mom. By
asking these questions, it forced me to come up
with answers which made a stronger support system
for my mom and has led to her Independence.

To this day, my dad still worries about my mom’s
doctor retiring. I am not sure why. I have 4 backup
doctors. I certainly am not going to operate
with one doctor hoping that she stays in practice
forever. That’s just not a good plan. My
dad thinks however my mom’s current doctor is
the only good one. I don’t think so. I have a system
and I have found other good ones through the system
that I found her current doctor.

Bottomline, you need a team when you have bipolar
disorder or your loved one does.

Hey I have to run. Have a great day.

Dave

Hi,

How’s it going today? I wanted to write a quick
email before I take off to head to the gym. Someone
wrote me the other day how I deal with the stress
of bipolar disorder. I emailed back and asked
what part of bipolar disorder were they referring
to. The person wrote back dealing with the yelling,
screaming, mood swings and insanity.

I was thinking that there is an important simple
strategy that took me many months to learn on
how to deal with the stress from bipolar disorder.
I call it disengagement.

When I first started supporting my mom, I would
get into with her. I was always arguing with
her. Always hearing total nonsense she was
saying in her episode and trying to say
this and that isn’t true mom. I would
then try to explain things to her. I would
try to argue back that I wasn’t a bad son.
I did this for many months. MANY. I would
spend hours and hours and hours either
on the phone or in person.

It was so draining that I thought I was
going to die of exhaustion or a stroke. I was
so tired all the time. I have no idea how
I was able to do it day after day month
after month. It was far more tiring that
any training with any sport that I have
ever done and I played football, baseball,
wrestled, power lifting and body building
non competitively. The most difficult sports
training was EASIER than dealing with my
mom.

Then one day it hit me. Nobody told me. I
was just thinking one day, “Dave why
do you argue, why take things personally?
What get into it, why not disengage anytime
there is an argument.”

So one day my mom started yelling at me
when I was trying to help out around my mom
and dad’s house. My mom started screaming saying
I was trying to take over the house (in my
head I laughed because I was thinking, “yea
right I want to take over a nightmare house
like this…like taking over a city rife with
crime and chaos :)”.

Anyway instead of explaining now I am not
trying to take over the house, I am helping
because of blah, blah, blah, I just walked
away from my mom and got in my car and left.

Then the next time she called and started yelling
I said, “I have to go and hung up.” I sure started
feeling better and my stress would go lower. The
less I engaged in arguments, listening to personal
attacks, the more time I had to help her and make
a system so she could take care of herself.

Oh side note, I want my mom to take care of herself
NOT and I repeat NOT me. I don’t want my mom dependent
on me. If you are helping your loved one with bipolar
disorder, you want to help them before Independent NOT
dependent on you. If you have bipolar disorder, you should
want to become Independent NOT dependent too.

Okay, so back to what I was saying, so I disengaged from
arguing with my mom, defending myself, etc. and I started
to feel great. Then another thing happen. My mom started
to get the connection in her head. When she would attack
me, I would leave. She didn’t like when I left or hung
up on the phone so she SLOWLY stopped doing these type
of things. I noticed she would catch herself because she
knew that I would disengage to reduce the stress.

In my courses/systems, I teach this strategy and I was
surprised that many of the people interviewed in my
material do the same thing.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

The bottom line is, you can’t argue with someone
in a bipolar disorder episode and win. He/she
will just say something else OR the person will
not be rational and if you keep engaging with
the person, you will wind up almost going insane
yourself.

Well I have to run. Have a great day.

Your Friend,

Dave

P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/

P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com

Here is the current Bipolar Disorder news.
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews329

There’s some really interesting news stories this week.
Take a look at them. Also, write me some feedback by
visiting my blog below.

Here are some of the headlines:

10-Year Retrospective Study Shows Progress in American Attitudes …

Biggest-ever gene scan throws up new links to diseases

Bipolar disorder treatment: What role do antidepressants play?

When your child is not ‘perfect’

Church’s role in mental health

For these stories and more, please visit:

http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews329

My Resources For Bipolar:

Quickly And Easily Explain Bipolar To People
Go here for more information.
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/explainingbipolar

Need Money Because Of Bipolar Disorder?
Go here for more information
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarbusiness

Dating Someone With Bipolar?
Go here for more information
http://www.BipolarCentral.com/bipolardating

Want To Marry Someone Who Has Bipolar?
Go here for more information
http://www.BipolarCentral.com/bipolarmarriage/

Need Affordable Health Insurance When Dealing With Bipolar Disorder?
Go here for more information
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/insuranceguide/

Problems With Drugs, Alcohol And Addiction?
Go here for more information
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolaraddiction/

Trying To PREVENT A Divorce From Someone With Bipolar Disorder?
Go here for more information:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolardivorce

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

How’s it going? I have some good news and some
bad news. The good news is my mom seems to
be back on track.

The other day I wrote an email about how
it looked like my mom was going into
another bipolar disorder episode.

I said how basically it was odd because
she normally goes in one major episode
a year and one gigantic big episode every
5 to 7 years. I was saying how in the
last 12 months she had been in 3 episodes
which were caught early enough so they
were resolved with 7 days or so.

NOTE-It’s hard to keep track of all these
episodes so if some of the time is off
from another email I sent it’s because I don’t
really have a bipolar episode log, it’s from
my memory.

Anyway, the other day I was saying how I
was seeing signs my mom was going into
another episode again. I was telling
you have I was growing concerned and
was going to monitor the situation.

On this note, here’s something I want
to tell you. I am not micro managing my
mom. For example, if I see her going
into an episode I don’t say any thing. I
watch, listen and review. I see how things
go. I see if she follows the system she
has for herself. I see what my dad does.

I allow it to get right before a total
nightmare and then if I need to I step
in. I believe this is the right thing
to do. I know I can’t keep jumping in
and fixing things all the time or I will
never have a life :).

So in this case, I told my dad that it didn’t
seem like my mom was following all the things
she needs to do with her bipolar stability
equation. I told him she missed church, was
going to bed late, missed therapy, missed
exercise.

Anyway over the last two days, based on what
I hear from my dad and now my aunt and based
on what my mom said to me on the phone, it
appears she is back on track. I will say this
medication is SUPER important for my mom but
there are other things as well.

Speaking of medication, here’s the bad news.
Yesterday, I was in the gym and I heard some
really disturbing stories.

This one woman came up to me that knows that I have
websites related to bipolar disorder and she told
me how her niece has it and has lost her job
and going to probably lose her marriage.

Then another person randomly came up to me
and said he had a good friend who has bipolar
disorder who drinks and is really violent. He
said he is going to stay away from his friend
because he is scared of him when he is “off.”

Then I was driving home and a friend called
and told me there was a person he heard about
that was married with two or more kids and
the husband was drinking and had bipolar disorder.
One day he went out and never came back. From
what I was told, I think he is assumed dead.

I was kind of sad hearing all these stories.
The thing that makes me most sad is this. When
I think about a person who has bipolar disorder
and their lack of stability I think that it’s
so easy for them to be stable or establish
a level where they are mostly stable. Being
a 10 on a scale of 1 to 10 is difficult. But
getting to 6 is not in my opinion.

You want to know what all the people above
had in common?

THEY ALL STOPPED TAKING THEIR MEDICATION!

ALL OF THEM.

Do you know how many hundreds of stories I have
read from people on my list that have loved one’s
that got off their medications and it turned
into a total absolute nightmare?

Today I want to remind everyone the importance
of medication for stability with bipolar disorder.
You know what I am amazed about how people don’t
talk more about this.

I go to support group meetings and the speakers
that’s right THE SPEAKERS will not flat out say
the importance of medication they like talk around
in circles.

100% of the people that I know who do well with
bipolar disorder take medication like their doctor says

100% of the people who work for me that have bipolar
disorder take medication like their doctor says

100% of the success stories I have found
take medication like their doctors says

EVERYONE I have interviewed with bipolar disorder
that had major problems like homelessness, bankruptcy,
failed marriages, no friends, drugs, alcohol, etc.
all was traced back to not taking medication.

What amazes me is there are people that do not
take medication and think it’s like a game or
it’s funny. You see them post every now and
then on my blog. They will say things like “I
am feeling great and doing great and not taking
medication.” As soon as I read that, I feel
really bad for the people who are around them.
Because I know FOR SURE it’s going to be a nightmare
for the friends and family members around.

If my mom didn’t take her medication there is
NO way we would deal with her. NO way. She knows
this too. If she stopped taking her medication
she would ramp up into a super manic episode,
I would have nothing to do with her, she would
put so much stress on my dad he would most likely
have a stroke (he has told me this numerous times),
she then would probably focus on her mother than
sister. It would be a total destructive thing.

Here’s the thing however, my mom, according to
her and according to what I have found has always taken
her medication for the past 30 years or so. She told
me for the first 10 years she didn’t take it all the
time. But in the last 30 she has.

My mom knows medication is totally important to
her. I just don’t know why everyone doesn’t think like
her or Michele Soloway who works for me who takes
her medication. I just can’t figure it out.

One last story. I once interviewed someone who lived
outside the United States, with a wife, a business and kids. He told
me he got off his medication and then woke up in a
psychiatric hospital in California. He then found
out he was divorced, lost his business, custody to
his kids and that he had done many bad things. All
because he got off his medication.

If you listen to the interviews in my courses/systems:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

You hear these types of stories. Medication is
super important.

Well I have to take off right now.

Have a great day.

Dave

P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/

P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com

Hi,

How’s it going? Hope you are doing late. I
am a little behind schedule today so I
have to kind of make this short.

I’ve recently gotten several hundred emails
from people asking questions like

How do you get a proper diagnosis for bipolar disorder
How do you know which medication you need for bipolar disorder
What medication is your mom taking
Which medications don’t work for bipolar disorder
What do I do when my loved one is going into an episode
Etc.

I get these and wonder, how come people don’t know the
answer. The answer is simple. You contact the or a
qualified doctor who is generally a psychiatrist.

These are the people that handle these questions.
In my opinion, the key to success with bipolar disorder
is with the doctor.

First as I look back, my mom had many bad doctors. Many
had no clue. But then there were some that were made
into bad doctors by us (my family), I will send more
about this tomorrow. There’s a way a good doctor
can be made to look like a bad doctor, when they
aren’t.

Secondly, my parents never really thought a good
or great doctor was important. I asked my dad if
they ever shopped for a doctor or ever went all
out like I did for my mom in 2005, to find a good one.

Thirdly, I have seen that a good doctor can accomplish
what many think is impossible with someone. For
example, with my mom, she went into that huge bipolar
disorder episode starting in 2004. No doctor
she worked with could help her.

Look at this. She first was in the psychiatrist
hospital for almost 2 weeks. NOBODY could help.
Then she was kicked out of that and put into
an outpatient program. She saw doctor after
doctor. She never got any better. She was
yelling, screaming, not stable, etc.

I would call the people that ran the out patient
program and ask things like:

So how much longer until she is better
What are you guys doing?
What’s the outlook?
Have there been people you can’t help, if so how many?
Do you have any doctors in the program that are for the really
difficult cases?
Etc.

I was worried that my mom would get out before she was
better. I started to think at this point that she
might not get better. I thought and you are going
to think this is strange that she COULD, and I repeat
COULD be almost broken and unable to be repaired.

I know this sounds strange because it sounds like
I am referring to some thing not my mom but at this
point, I didn’t have a philosophy, strategy, techniques
or anyone to ask. I was figuring it out as I went.

The supporter groups were no help either. They offered
no practical how to information.

Anyway, my worst fear did come true. My mom was told
the program is over because her insurance would not
pay for it any more.

When I heard this, I got really, really worried.
So then I started to change me thinking. Maybe
lots of doctors are bad (I don’t think this today),
and I have to find the one out of many that is
good.

So I put together a doctor finding system which
thousands of people have learned over the last two
years and it works great.

The strange thing was, as you may know, I found
my mom a new doctor and she got my mom 70% stable
in a week. I was amazed.

Then with a month she was almost back to normal.
To this day I am amazed. I have tried to ask her
over and over again what makes her a good or
better doctor than other ones. She is really
modest and downplays what she did.

BUT it’s not just her, people tell me all over
the country the same story. They used a bunch
of people with no clue and then found someone
really good.

In my courses/and systems, there are several
of these type of stories:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

I will leave you with this last thought.
I have long been amazed how some doctors
are good and some are bad. Some doctors
can help the most difficult cases. Some
can’t.

Then I got to thinking about cars. Some
people are really good at cars. They can
look at a car and know exactly what’s wrong
and then fix it. People like me, are not
good at cars. They can’t even change an
oil the tires or figure out how to
do anything other than drive it.

You would never want someone like me
to fix your car. I am obviously not a
bad person just not good with cars. There
are doctors like this as well. They are
good people but you don’t want them to
work with you or your loved one.

Your goal is to filter, sift and sort
to find who is bad and who is good.
There are just some people like the
car fixing people that have a gift
on working with patients with a mental
illness and they do great work. There
are others and many this is not the
case with.

Hey I have to run. Have a good day and
catch you tomorrow.

Your Friend,

Dave

P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/

P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com

Hi,

How’s it going? Today I am going to quickly
tell you something that took me a really, really
long time to figure out about bipolar disorder.

If you don’t figure it out and you are supporting
someone with bipolar disorder, you will probably
almost go insane and have seriously hard time
being a good caretaker.

Today I was originally going to write something
else in reference to my mom possibly going through
another episode. I will be writing that later on
this week because it’s really important.

But yesterday I had something really strange happen
to me and it goes along with one of these key
concepts with supporting someone with bipolar disorder.

Okay yesterday I had a situation with someone
who works for me in my organization that puts
out all this information on bipolar disorder,
borderline personality disorder, schizophrenia,
etc. I call it the mental health organization
because, today, it’s beyond bipolar.

So anyway this person wanted an increase in her
hourly rate. To make a long story short, I asked
for reasons why, etc. This this organization is
being funded by me and is breaking even, I have
to look at budgets and costs against revenues.

So to make a long story short, later that day
at around 2:00pm or so I think, I get an
email saying the person quit. No notice at
all. Zero.

Then based on what I could see NOTHING that
was suppose to be done was done. I just
shook my head and began to enact my
plan that I had.

I called up a few people that work
for me to formulate a plan on what to do
and who would handle what responsibilities.

Since we all have tons of things to do to
make this entire organization work, we all
would do a few things that this person who
quit did. In the meantime, we would start
a search for a replacement.

NOTE:
This is not a “feel bad for Dave” story there’s
an important lesson to learn about being a
supporter of someone with bipolar disorder.

Also, note, this particular person did NOT
I repeat did NOT have bipolar disorder based
on what I was told.

Okay so by the end of the night, we got it
all worked out and know who is going to be
doing what and figured out all the things
that were not done.

Right now there are still some things not
done but they will be done today.

Well, last night I was talking to my dad
and I told him what happen. He was totally
shocked. He said, “why would she quit like
that?” I said “Dad I have no clue, I am
not going to waste my brain power trying
to figure it out.”

Then I pointed out to him how in the old
days, when my mom was not under the right
treatment plan, and she would say and do
all kinds of things, we would try to figure
out “why.”

Then it hit me. I had to write you a message
about this.

“Why” is deadly in reference to bipolar disorder.

I use to have this happen to me. I would wonder.

Why does my mom scream and yell all the time
Why did she say this or that about me
Why did she say this or that about my dad
Why is she writing mean letters to other family members
Why did she do this or that
Why did she totally mistreat my brother

Then I would spend DAYS thinking about:

Was she mistreated as a kid?
Did I do something wrong?
Did my dad something wrong?
Maybe something happen to her growing up that made
her this way?

So on and so forth.

And then finally one day I figure out that why and
bipolar disorder do NOT go together generally. Once
I stopped asking why I started feeling better.

I accepted that with bipolar disorder, if a person
is not under the right treatment plan, he/she can
say and do anything and there will be no logical
reason why. It’s random. It won’t make sense. You
didn’t cause it. It’s all in their heads not yours.
Etc.

This is a HUGE and I mean HUGE lesson to learn
when supporting someone with bipolar disorder.

I use this outside of bipolar disorder and mental
health as well. For example with the person who
quit. Imagine this:

-You w.ork from home
-You make about a f.ull t.ime income
-You s.et y.our own hours
-You w.ork the days you pretty much want to as long as you
get your work done
-You have lots of challenging things to do so you don’t
get bored

This almost looks like an advertisement but it’s NOT
that’s a description of the job the person had.
Anyway, I didn’t spend any time trying to figure
out why someone would quit a job like this
and give no notice.

My dad on the other hand thought about it probably for
an hour. He asked lots of questions to get to the
“why.” I said “dad, there’s probably no logical why
that we would understand.”

Can you think of one? Even if I am the worst person
in the world to work for and a total nightmare to
deal with, you would give at least one week notice
or three days notice right? So no matter how you look
at it, it doesn’t make any sense.

But this is like when I was dealing with my mom
many things she did and said made no sense. At
first I tried to figure it out. I spent more
time trying to figure out the why then I did
trying to figure out how to help her.

One I changed my focus, I began to help
her much faster.

If you notice in my courses/systems:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

I don’t cover things like the different
reasons someone might have bipolar disorder
or why someone might do this or that. I focus
on solutions to problems people are having.
Many other sites online focus on why this
or that might be the case with bipolar disorder.

Some people spend so much time trying to figure
out the why only to get really really frustrated
and mad. Because when it’s all said and done,
most of the things done by someone who is not
being properly treated with bipolar disorder
can’t be explained. There is no why.

Your Friend,

Dave

P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/

P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com

How are you? Some might find what I am about
to say bad news but I don’t look at it
that way. Here it is. I believe that my
mom is moving toward going into another
bipolar episode.

If you have followed my emails for some time
you may be thinking, “Dave, again? She was
just in an episode like a month ago, what’s
the deal?” Well I don’t make the rules
I just play the game based on the rules
that are given to me.

I do find it rather odd that my mom has
had and I have kind of lost count, I
believe 3 episodes in less than a year.

I have to do some thinking and analysis
to make a decision should I be overly
concerned. I must say that I am increasingly
concerned with the volume of these bipolar
episodes.

You are probably going to be surprised
why. I must say, and I am not saying
this to brag but I know how to be a
supporter so well, I really can handle
most situations from a to z.

I can predict bipolar episodes. If my mom
gets really ill, I know what to do and
when. Even if she refuses treatment,
runs away, won’t leave the house, her
doctor goes off and vanishes, all doctors
in New Jersey vanish, I have a plan for
virtually everything.

And then I have a plan for the “I didn’t
make a plan for this.” I call that the
Doomsday Scenario. So, strangely, I have
a plan for if I didn’t think of something.

Okay but the reason why I am concerned
is because everyone around my mom is
tired of bipolar disorder episodes.

I am too :). I told my mom’s sister
the term “bipolared out” and she laughed
and she said she was bipolared out.

I am worried that my mom will wind up
having very few if not no friends or
possibly family members. Anyway, I don’t
want to make this a “feel bad for Dave’s
mom daily email” because I want to teach
you some stuff so you can become just like
me with knowing how to deal with these things.

Why do I think my mom is going into an a
bipolar disorder episode? Okay, I didn’t
tell you this about a week, I got
a call from my mom and she was talking
fast. She said that my dad was standing and
then passed out. Now my dad is between
280 and 300 pounds so that’s a serious
problem.

I asked why she said she didn’t know and
he was going to the doctor. To make a long
story short, his sugar count or something
connected to his Diabetes was really high
and that’s what did it.

Now, one might think, that my dad’s stress
would cause my mom stress would trigger
a bipolar episode. This is NOT the case.

My mom functions really, really well during
a crisis or major problem. It’s amazing. BUT
each major crisis leads to her doing well
but then ramping up into an episode.

As soon as I heard about my dad my brain said,
“Mom will handle it super well, everyone will
be amazed. People will think everything is good.
This will possibly lead to an episode after
you start believing she is doing great.”

Well after all the tests and stuff and
my dad’s medication being changed and him
having new instructions for what he needs
to do. My mom was doing great. She looked
great and sounded great.

I knew there was probably trouble ahead. 99.9%
of people would have missed this sign. You may
not even understand what the sign is. Reread
what I wrote. Remember this is for MY MOM
not necessarily your loved one. I will have
more points in a second.

Okay then my dad’s brother was rushed to the
hospital like a week later or maybe two
weeks. It’s hard for me to keep track of
all the dates because I have a lot of things
to keep track up. So if you catch me with
dates that are off, I am not trying to pull
one over on you. Bottom line is AFTER my
dad was sick, his brother, my uncle got
sick and went to the hospital.

I got an urgent call from my mom, she
was really worried. To make a long
story short he was in the hospital for
several days and it’s his heart.

He is okay now.

My mom handled it well. BUT now
there are two events. SO in my head
I have a running list of TWO triggers.

So I am vigilant.

Okay now I remember there’s a family get together
in Texas at the end of June and early July.
My mom is all excited about this. She is doing
some planning and calling all different people
all the time.

Third possible trigger. If you have my bipolar
supporter course/system you should remember
that my mom’s first major episode in 2004, started
after going to a family reunion.

So there are three triggers. This is what I am thinking.

Then, I got an email from my mom at 11:15 pm one
day last week. If you have been on my list, what
time does my mom go to bed? NOT 11:15pm right?

Another sign.

Then I learned my mom was watching a soap opera
at 11:00pm the other day.

Another sign.

Then I found out from my dad that my mom skipped
church on Sunday.

Another sign.

Then I forgot to tell you something. I was with
my mom I think it was Saturday and I noticed
she was cleaning the house, cooking and doing
yard work all at the same time. In the past
when she does many things at once and seemingly
well, this is a sign that is bad not a sign
she is super efficient.

So I have all these things in my head. When I
tested my dad to see if he has learned anything
from me, he failed. I said, “Dad how do you think
mom is doing?” He said, “Wow, she is doing great.”

I reminded him of the worksheets I gave him. He looked
at me and said, “What’s wrong?” I didn’t even get into
it with him because I didn’t have the time.

It’s obviously my dad doesn’t have to work to hard
at being a supporter because he just outsources
or delegates it to me which is annoying but
I deal with.

Anyway, these signs are to my mom not necessarily
your loved one. Let me ask you, how many signs
do you see and miss. I must say, these signs
use to be really, really, easy to miss back in
the day. Now I have gotten really good at
this.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

I have to take off for now, I will be sending
more on this this week. I hope you learned something.
If someone taught me how to read the signs
of a bipolar episode I would have saved years on
my life and saved so much money.

Over the week I will tell you how

What my prediction is (how my mom will do
well in Texas)

What I will do

When the episode will most likely happen

What’s the worst case scenario and what I will do

A few other things. This stuff will be sent over
each day over probably the next 7 days.

Your Friend,

Dave

P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/

P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com

Hi,

How are you today? I hope you are doing
well. I am actually getting ready to
head off to the gym today but I was
thinking about something I wanted to
tell you that’s really important.

I was thinking about it because I had
a friend call me and he was really depressed.
Not go and get on medication depressed but
depressed because something happen to him.

He actually has his own business and
he lost a ton of money. Why? Well it’s
because he was given totally bad marketing
advice. He did this campaign that cost
him a ton of money.

Why did he do a campaign that wouldn’t work
and spend so much money? Was it because he
has bipolar disorder? NO. It was because
he didn’t have foundational knowledge and
this is the mistake I see supporters and
those with bipolar disorder make ALL THE
TIME.

Let me explain.

Foundational knowledge is a term I made up,
to describe a base level of knowledge you
need to have when you are dealing with something.

In the case of bipolar disorder if you are
caretaker, there’s foundational knowledge
like

-The importance of medication
-You can’t cure bipolar disorder
-The bipolar stability equation
-There are techniques to deal with a loved one’s
episodes
-People who have bipolar disorder are not possessed
by the devil (sounds crazy but I get asked this a lot)
-When people who have bipolar disorder get into episodes, they
can frivolous spend money and destroy finances
-Not all doctors are good
-Not all therapists are good
-You should shop for a doctor like you shop for a car
-You need to report signs and symptoms to your loved one’s
doctors

so on and so forth. That’s just a short list of foundational
knowledge you need to know.

If you have bipolar disorder, which I don’t, but I know
the list would include:

You need to take medication
You need to keep your stress levels low
Going to the doctor and following his/her treatment plan is
critical
You should not drink or do illegal drugs
You should set up systems to protect your money
Some doctors aren’t good but many are good
You need to shop for a doctor like you would shop for a car
There are different medications for bipolar disorder
Some medications have side effects
You need to work with your doctor not against him/her

so on and so forth. Again this is a short list.

HERE’S THE PROBLEM I SEE

So many people lack this foundation knowledge and
it makes it almost impossible to cope and deal with
bipolar disorder.

What the heck does this have to do with the friend
who lost a lot of money? Well he should have foundational
business knowledge. I won’t go into that list but
he should have known that running a giant ad in a paper,
with no tracking code, with no offer, etc. would cost
him money and it wouldn’t work. This is the basics.
But he didn’t know it.

Now when you look at bipolar disorder, many people don’t
have foundational knowledge or know the basics. For
example, a supporter may think, “I just need to
get my loved one to the doctor and the doctor will
handle everything and the problem is solved.”

My dad use to think like this for about 38 years. For
DECADES. I was just talking to him about it yesterday
and he said what a mistake that was. He just didn’t
know better. But then he told me there was no internet
so that was kind of his excuse :).

With bipolar disorder you have to strive to get
a foundation of knowledge and this makes things
easier and when you are told something that
is wrong you will know it. For example, if
you have solid foundational knowledge and someone
tells you the supporter, bipolar disorder
is not a real illness and your loved one
is faking it, you will have the foundational
knowledge to ignore this ridiculous assertion
and you will not act on the information.

If you have bipolar disorder, your foundational
knowledge includes but is not limited to:
realizing some mediations may have side effects
but there are lots of options and combinations
but it is YOUR JOB to talk to your doctor
about any and all side effects you experience.

Just that little tip can and has helped so many
people. People are always looking for this
gigantic super big technique or secret but
many times, the simple things are the most
powerful.

I will say it again, if you have bipolar
disorder, report ALL side effects to your
doctor and work with him/her on them. So
many people don’t do this is because
they think there is no hope for them.

This is dead wrong. There is hope. You have
to work with your doctor.

If you are a supporter and your loved one is
not totally stable, foundational knowledge tells
you, you should report what you are seeing with
your loved one to his/her doctor. When the doctor
knows what’s going on, he/she can make a better
treatment plan.

The more foundational knowledge you have
the LESS susceptible you are to totally
stupid and ridiculous things you may
hear related to bipolar disorder. And there’s
tons of them out there.

This a powerful concept even though it’s simple.
I’ve gotten a few emails well about 20 from
people saying my stuff is too simple in my
emails. I don’t
know. There’s a lot of good information I think
and I work hard at it. Today’s is really important
and I hope it made sense to you.

LAST NOTE
I will say one last thing. I actually wasn’t but
I decided to and since this is my newsletter
I guess I can 🙂

The one thing that I do not feel is important
for sure is:

trying to figure out why someone has bipolar
disorder

trying to figure out how medications work and
why

These are two areas people love to focus on
and it’s not helpful. It wastes a lot of time
in my opinion.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

Okay with that said, I have to run. Have a good
day.

Your Friend,

Dave

P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/

P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com