Hi,

How are you doing today?

Everyone has values, things they believe in that, no matter what anyone says or does, they can’t be shaken from these beliefs.

Some people’s are religious beliefs, and no matter what, you couldn’t sway them from their religious beliefs (not that I’m saying you should ever try – I’m not saying that at all, so don’t get me wrong).

Other people have political views that, no matter what, you couldn’t get them to believe anything else other than what they believe, right or wrong. That’s how strong they are in their beliefs.

But then there are other things, like personal opinions, that aren’t like these other things I mentioned. They’re not like facts, that can be proven right or wrong. They’re just opinions, so they can be swayed.

Then there are people who are what some people call “wishy-washy.” They don’t seem to have any opinions or beliefs of their own. They just go along with what everyone else thinks or believes. These people just want to “fit in with the crowd.”

As a supporter, I teach you in my courses/systems that there are some things you have to do in order to be a good supporter, to be the best supporter you can be to your loved one with bipolar disorder.

NEW LEARN THE SECRETS OF THE MOST SUCCESSFUL WITH
BIPOLAR DISORDER?
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/bipolarmastersystem/

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
There are some things you can compromise on.

Like you might want to go out and do something, but if your loved one isn’t feeling up to it, then you can compromise and stay home.

If you are helping your loved one keep a To-Do List and they don’t get to all the things on their list, that’s ok. You can compromise on that, and assure them that it’s ok, that they can get to the other things tomorrow.

If you make a decision that your loved one doesn’t agree with, then the two of you can talk about it, and there will probably be a compromise in there somewhere.

Sometimes you even have to put some of your own needs aside because of your loved one’s bipolar disorder, and that involves compromise.

BUT…

If your loved one asks you to do something that could damage them and their bipolar disorder in some way, on that you should NEVER compromise!

For example, if they say they’re tired of taking their medication, and ask you to stop getting it filled at the drugstore. That’s something you cannot compromise on. They need their medication to maintain their stability.

Or if they want to start skipping their appointments with their doctor, psychiatrist and/or therapist, and tell you they don’t need you to drive them anymore, that they can get there by themselves, if they feel the need to go, whenever. That’s something you can’t compromise on, because that, too, could jeopardize their stability.

What if they start wanting to sleep all the time, and tell you to just leave them alone and let them sleep as much as they want, or if they start isolating in the house, not wanting to go anywhere, when you usually encourage them to be productive and get out of bed and do things? That’s an area where you can’t compromise, either, because if you do, you know that too much sleep and isolation can lead to a bipolar episode.

What if you see other signs or symptoms of an impending episode, like triggers happening, like your loved one stops taking care of themselves, or stops caring about you and your relationship? You can’t just not say anything. On this you can’t compromise. You have to say something to them about it.

What if your loved one becomes manic, starts spending excessively, starts making rash decisions, or becomes angry at you and expressing it in ways that are intolerable to you? That, especially is something on which you cannot compromise. You have to take some action.

Just like the person whose values cannot be swayed no matter what, as a good supporter, you cannot let certain things slide.

If you believe that your loved one is starting to show the signs of going into a bipolar episode, you cannot compromise. You have to take action.

If your loved one won’t listen to you, then at least try to get a message to their doctor, psychiatrist, or therapist. Your loved one should have a signed Medical Release Form on file in their offices allowing you to talk to them. But let someone know what is happening.

Don’t compromise on this.

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David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

How’s it going for you today?

I hope you are doing well.

Have you ever heard the old expression, “Beware of the elephant in your living room?”

It meant not to ignore what was right in front of your face.

See, people would walk around problems in their family (or their own problems).

They would act as if there weren’t even any problems at all.

They would ignore the problems, hoping they would go away, or miraculously solve themselves.

They wouldn’t talk about them.

Among themselves or with other extended members of the family.

And if the neighbors heard about it? Why that would be disastrous!

That’s why nobody would talk about it.

And that’s where the expression came from.

Ignoring the elephant in the living room.

Well, some people do that with bipolar disorder.

That’s called denial.

And that’s one of the first things I talk about in my courses/systems. Because if you don’t face up to the fact that you or your loved one even has bipolar disorder, how can you learn how to manage the disorder, or learn how to be a good supporter?

NEW LEARN THE SECRETS OF THE MOST SUCCESSFUL WITH
BIPOLAR DISORDER?
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/bipolarmastersystem/

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
So first denial is the elephant in the living room.

You first have to accept bipolar disorder in order to fight it and learn how to manage it.

I can’t tell you whether to tell other people, whether in your family, extended family, or people outside your family, whether you or your loved one have the disorder. That’s your decision.

The important thing is that YOU accept the disorder.

And here’s something important that you might want to learn (or remember, if you already have learned it), that I teach early on in my courses and systems:

YOU ARE NOT YOUR DISORDER!

And for supporters, remember that your loved one is NOT their disorder. They still have an identity outside the disorder itself.

Remember, you are NOT bipolar. You HAVE bipolar disorder. There is a big difference.

But from there, the rest becomes a little harder.

After you accept the diagnosis, don’t just let the bipolar elephant stay dormant in your living room.

Don’t just let the diagnosis sit there without doing anything about it. And here I’m talking to people who are newly diagnosed as well as people who have had it for awhile.

Learn all you can about bipolar disorder, whether you’re the one who has it, or you are the supporter.

There are things you can do to fight this disorder.

Then comes management of the disorder itself.

Medication and treatment.

Having a good doctor, psychiatrist, and therapist, and going to all those appointments regularly.

Joining a bipolar support group, and for supporters, joining a support group of your own.

Taking care of yourself – getting the right amount of sleep, exercising, and eating a healthy diet.

And taking care of yourself in other ways, too. Ways that keep balance in your life:

Not just physically, but mentally, emotionally, financially, and spiritually as well.

Doing things that keep you productive and give you a sense of accomplishment at the end of the day. Doing things that make you feel good about yourself.

You could work at a job, or if you’re on disability, you can work at a part-time job, start a home-based business, or do volunteer work.

You also need to do things that help you stay as stress-free as you can. So factor in leisure activities as well.

Now comes the hardest part of all, but perhaps the most important.

Staying stable.

In order to stay stable, you have to stay vigilant against that bipolar elephant in your living room by watching for signs and symptoms of your bipolar disorder.

You have to learn what triggers your bipolar episodes.

Try to keep a mood chart or journal to watch for patterns so that you can see an episode developing and catch it before it happens.

Call your doctor if you feel “off” in any way – if you just don’t feel like “yourself.” If you call early enough, you can also avoid in episode. It could just be that you need a medication adjustment or change. But notify your doctor. They’ll know what to do.

A supporter is real important here, too. Sometimes you can notice changes in your loved one before they do. You know their normal behaviors.

If you notice anything different, or you know that they’ve been under stress lately, or one of their triggers has been set off, watch them carefully for signs and symptoms that they might be going into a bipolar episode.

If you do notice these things, talk to your loved one, as they may have noticed the same things. Then have them call their doctor.

Together, hopefully you can avoid an episode from happening.

But you can’t do any of these things if you, as the saying goes…

“Ignore the bipolar elephant in your living room.”

What do you think?
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David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

I hope this day is going well for you.

Guess what?

It’s snowing a ton this morning.

It’s suppose to snow more than a foot.

It’s kind of a pain because that means no hiking for probably two weeks.

I don’t like hiking when there’s tons of snow on the ground.

This has nothing to do with bipolar disorder but I figure I would tell you : )

Okay, let’s move on…

I got this email the other day and wanted to share it with you:

“Dave-
I don’t know what to do anymore. I have so many problems. My husband’s bipolar disorder is out of control. He just keeps doing these things, and I just cnaa’t stand it any more. He won’t listen to me any more, and there’s nothing I can do stop it. Everything he does leads to more and more problems, and I just don’t know anymore where his problems end and mine begin.

I have more problems than I can handle, and I just can’t take it anymore. I’m about to lose my job because he’s caused so many problems for me at work because of his bipolar disorder. He just isn’t getting any better. I don’t even think he’s taking his medication. What am I supposed to do? Georgia.”

Wow. Now, first let me say that I’m not a therapist, so I’m not qualified to give the kind of advice that I think this woman really needs. All I can do is give my opinion, based on the kinds of emails I’ve gotten like this before.

But this woman really does have some problems.

First of all, she says that her husband’s bipolar disorder is out of control. So let’s address that.

That seems to be her major problem.

She says he’s causing her problems, more than she can handle. He’s causing her problems at work. So he’s obvious acting out from his disorder.

She says he isn’t getting any better.

Now here’s the key thing. Why isn’t he getting any better? She then says, “I don’t even think he’s taking his medications.”

There’s where I think the problem really is.

If your loved one isn’t taking their medications, then of course there’s going to be problems.

They’re not going to be following the treatment plan that I talk about in my courses/systems, and how I stress how important that is to the management of their bipolar disorder:

NEW LEARN THE SECRETS OF THE MOST SUCCESSFUL WITH
BIPOLAR DISORDER?
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/bipolarmastersystem/

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
If they’re not following their treatment plan, they’re not only going to have their own problems, but their problems are going to affect you.

Like Georgia said, “I don’t know where his problems end and mine begin.”

But here’s the thing:

All this woman is talking about is problems and more problems.

And that IS the problem.

And if you’re living in the problem, you’re NOT living in the solution.

In this case, the solution would be for her husband to get back on his medication, follow his treatment plan, and begin managing his bipolar disorder better.

But then she’s got another problem –

She can’t MAKE him do that!

So, again, she has to live in the solution, and not the problem.

So what can she do?

I know another woman who faced the same problem at work, and she was honest with her boss (which was very, very difficult for her, but necessary), and they made it where her husband was not allowed to call or come to see her at work any more.

She worked in a hospital, so her calls were able to be screened, and if he came on site, he was escorted out by security guards.

Now, this was not an easy solution by any means, but it was living in the solution and not the problem. And things got better at work for her, and she was able to keep her job.

The point I’m trying to make is to keep a certain mindset – to live in the solution, and not the problem.

I’m not saying it’s easy, by any means, but you may have to separate yourself from your loved one and make them own up to their own problems, so that their problems don’t become yours, and before you become as overwhelmed and desperate as the woman in this email.

Remember to live in the solution and not in the problem.

Think about what the real problem is, then think of what some solutions to the problem might be.

Like the woman I told you about, she had to take action at her job at the hospital.

The woman in the email is going to have to try to get her husband back on his medication and treatment plan (or, perhaps, take more drastic measures – maybe consider hospitalization).

You might be in the same situation, or similar.

Don’t let your loved one’s problems become your problems.

If they’ve been in an episode and there have been consequences because of what they’ve done in that episode, make them take responsibility for those consequences.

Those consequences are THEIR problems, not yours.

Or if it’s too late, and they have become yours, then go back to the principle of living in the solution and not the problem, and work it out.

I know it may sound too simple. I don’t mean it to. The principle is simple. The working out of it is hard, I know. But it can be done. It must be done, because you have to find a solution to your problems.

You can work this principle with your own problems as well.

Live in the solution, not the problem.

Do you know what I mean? Agree?
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David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

Hope you’re doing ok today.

Today I want to talk to you about money.

I know, a subject that nobody wants to talk about.

But I’m actually going to teach a seminar about this, about how if you have lots of money, how you can lose it fast.

But with bipolar disorder, that can definitely happen.

Even if you don’t have lots of money.

There a lot of costs involved in having bipolar disorder, or supporting someone who has it.

There’s the cost of doctors, psychiatrists, and therapists, and the cost of travelling to them, too – the gas,  and the upkeep on your car.

Then there’s the cost of the medication.

Even if your insurance does cover the doctors and medication, there’s usually  co-pay. But if your insurance doesn’t  cover it, you can go into debt into the hundreds of thousands of dollars!

That’s what I mean by losing money FAST! It can deplete your entire savings, and some people have even gone into bankruptcy!

Even if you’re on disability, it’s still not enough to live on, and supporters usually have to get a job to cover the costs of a loved one with bipolar disorder.

Even some people with bipolar disorder have had to go out and get a job, too.

That’s why, in my courses/systems, I go over how to deal with finances and debt management for people with bipolar disorder and their supporters:
NEW LEARN THE SECRETS OF THE MOST SUCCESSFUL WITH
BIPOLAR DISORDER?
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/bipolarmastersystem/

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
If you don’t have control over your finances, you can lose lots of money, FAST!

And if your loved one goes into a manic episode, and starts spending money excessively, you can lose it even FASTER! They can even bankrupt you if you don’t have systems in place to prevent it.

The best way to prevent that is to keep the credit cards and checkbook for them.

I know this may sound cruel, but at least it will keep you from going bankrupt!

There are ways to stretch the money you do have, which will help, like going on a budget, and cutting back on those things you can really do without (do you really need that fast-food lunch? Or could you pack a lunch from home?)

Or you can think of some ways to make some extra cash, like getting rid of some of those things you don’t really need and selling them on ebay or something.

You could even start a home business! Lots of people I know who have bipolar disorder and their supporters have done this and have become successful at it.

If you can think of some other ways, let me know and I might post them on here!

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME
Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

How’s it going today?

I hope you’re doing well.

I was kind of annoyed yesterday, I someone call and email that my daily emails didn’t give enough information.

The reason why it’s annoying is because I was like, “how much information do you want me to type of up EVERY DAY?”

They were like, “a lot more you are just teasing us?”

The reason why it’s annoying to me is because this takes a MASSIVE amount of work.

A TON.

Many people on my list realize this. Many do not. They simply complain. It’s like the same thing where I volunteer. There are people who constantly complain that someone or some or organization is not doing enough for them.

It’s amazing.

I can’t even imagine if I had to spend more than the time it takes for me to already write these emails every day.

It would be all I did, which doesn’t make any sense.

Know what I mean?

I mean think about it, I am doing this 365 days a year including my birthday, holidays, when I am sick, etc.

For YEARS.

Sorry to vent : )

It’s also annoying that if someone orders something from me and let’s say the post office loses it they assume I did it on purpose.

Or if a package is damaged. Or if something is done.

It just makes me shake my head and realize why it’s so hard in the mental health field. People can be super demanding.

Someone wrote me that I have “no integrity?”

When people say that kind of stuff, it’s beyond annoying based on what I am doing on a daily basis for the cause.

I do a TON and I mean a TON of work. Most of the time I don’t make a dime. You would be shocked if I laid it all out for you. The people who work for me know this for sure.

Anyway, based on the last day or so I was thinking about something.

Remember what is commonly called the Lord’s Prayer?

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference.”

Well, today I want to talk about the “accept the things I cannot change” part.

That’s important when it comes to bipolar disorder.

It’s trying to change the things you CAN’T change that leads to stress and anxiety, and that’s what’s bad for your disorder.

Stress leads to depression, and depression can lead to an episode.

And avoiding episodes are what my courses/systems are all about:

NEWLEARN THE SECRETS OF THE MOST SUCCESSFUL WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/bipolarmastersystem/

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

There are some things you CAN change, but there are other things you CAN’T change.

You can’t change other people. It’s up to them to change themselves. And that’s only if they want to – you can’t do it for them.

You can’t always change the situation around you (although sometimes you can, and I’ll talk about that in a minute).

You can’t change the world, as much as you might like to sometimes.

You can’t change the place you’re in, usually.

Especially in this economy. Most of us are lucky to be holding on to our homes these days, and couldn’t afford another house even if we wanted to.

You can’t change things. Things just are the way they are.

For example, you just can’t change the fact that you or your loved one has bipolar disorder. It’s just a fact. You may not like it, but you also can’t change it.

The only thing you can do about things you can’t change is to accept them.

A friend of mine told me this quote from one of her daily readings, and I think it applies here:

“Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation – some fact of my life – unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.”

I think that’s what it’s all about.

Finding serenity, or peace of mind, in whatever situation you’re in.

In other words, accepting what you can’t change.

If you can come to the place where you can accept that you or your loved one has bipolar disorder and you can’t change that fact, then you can do something about it -You can start learning how to manage it.

Remember the old expression, “If life gives you lemons, make lemonade?”

Well, this is sort of the same thing.

You can work with what you have, if you accept it.

If you don’t, it won’t get you anywhere, anyway.

And it might make you sicker, trying to change what you can’t change, getting all stressed out and, like I said, getting stressed out can lead to depression, and depression can lead to a bipolar episode.

And that is something you DON’T want!

For supporters, the same thing can happen.

Maybe you won’t go into an episode, but the stress can make you not as good a supporter as you can be, if you don’t accept the things you can’t change.

The main point I’m trying to make is to accept the things you can’t change, and work with the things you CAN change, and you’ll be much more able to manage your bipolar disorder, or be a better supporter.

Know what I mean? I guess there’s always going to be people who complain on my list no matter what. I can’t change them.

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David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

The other day I sent out a notice about a resource I have titled:

“7 Secrets To Supporting A Child Or Adolescent With Bipolar Disorder.”

It’s located at:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/specialoffer/7secretschild/

I have been asked by several people saying, “David, what’s the difference between bipolar disorder in adults and in children?” I have seen this so many times, I have to correct the rumor that started somewhere that they are both the same.

The truth is, that bipolar disorder in adults and bipolar disorder in children is NOT the same!

They even have a name for bipolar disorder in children – it’s called pediatric bipolar disorder, or early-onset bipolar disorder.

The only thing the same is that children are still being diagnosed by the adult criteria in the book used by psychiatrists to diagnose patients, but that’s just because they haven’t caught up yet.

Many doctors and psychiatrists still don’t believe that there’s a difference.

But any parent trying to support a child or teenager with bipolar disorder will tell you that there’s a BIG difference!

For one thing, some of the symptoms are different.

For example, rather than go out on elaborate spending sprees, they are more likely to do things like attention getting behaviors.

Another thing is that there is a rumor that a child might outgrow their pediatric bipolar disorder when they reach adolescence, and that is NOT true, either!

Or that a teenager will outgrow their bipolar disorder when they become an adult, and that is NOT true, either!

I think it would be great if these things were true, but I think you need to know the TRUTH about bipolar disorder and children and adolescence.

And about how to support them.

That’s why I’ve written a whole report about it.

For more information on:

“7 Secrets To Supporting A Child Or Adolescent With Bipolar Disorder”

Please visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/specialoffer/7secretschild/

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

How are you?

I hope you are doing well.

Here is today’s news.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews419

Domenici Announces Mental Health Breakthrough

DO> Hmm. What do you think of this?

Duluth Doctor Suspended

DO> Do you agree with this?

Talk Set on Teen Depression

DO> This is important, don’t you think?

Center Offers Online Mental Health Checkup

DO> Great for society.

Shock Resignation Highlights Struggle Against Mental Illness

DO> Wow, what do you think of this?

Specialized Cognitive Behavioral Treatment Available for People with PTSD and Serious Mental Illness

DO> This is great and important.

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews419

POST RESPONSES TO THE NEWS HERE

==>Help with ALL aspects of bipolar disorder<<==

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:

http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

How are you doing?

I hope you are doing well.

Yesterday I did a few f.ree consultation calls I have with people who have bipolar question certificates.

These are the f.ree consultation certificates for those who get my bipolar supporter main courses below. This is for NON medical and/or NON legal questions.

Remember I am not a doctor, lawyer or therapist and I am not offering any medical or legal advice.

Someone asked me the other day if I was a doctor and I want to be really clear that I am not.

Okay, let’s jump into today’s topic which I talked with someone yesterday about.

Anyway, I heard an expression the other day that I thought was really neat:

“Problems are just solutions in work clothes.”

I mean, everybody has problems, right?

Whether you have bipolar disorder or not, or whether you’re a supporter to someone who has the disorder or not. Everybody has problems.

But you know how some people seem to be able to handle their problems better than other people do?

Well, that’s why I like this expression so much.

To me it’s having a positive attitude towards solving your problems.

And for people with bipolar disorder, that’s important.

I teach in my courses/systems that being positive is very important in the management of your bipolar disorder:

NEW LEARN THE SECRETS OF THE MOST SUCCESSFUL WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/bipolarmastersystem/

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
But let’s talk about that expression:

“Problems are just solutions in work clothes.”

Let’s compare solving problems to working a garden.

In your garden, you might have the most beautiful flowers in the world, right?

But they wouldn’t come without a lot of hard work, did they?

You would have to clear away a lot of weeds to get to the beauty of those flowers, wouldn’t you?

Well, what if you let the weeds and pests overwhelm you and depress you and make you give up?

You wouldn’t have that beautiful garden, now, would you?

See, problems are like that.

Some are easy to solve.

But others are harder to solve.

The solutions are, like the saying says, “in work clothes.”

You have to work at them, like the person in the garden.

The solution is going to be a little harder to find. But it’s there somewhere!

You just have to get all the weeds and pests out of the way first so you can see clear to the answer to your problem, and you’ll have “beautiful flowers” (the solution)!

You just can’t give up too soon.

You have to work hard at it.

You have to try something, and if that doesn’t work, you have to be willing to try something else.

Then, eventually, you WILL find the right solution to your problems!

I’m not saying it’s easy.

No problem is easy to solve. Otherwise it wouldn’t be called a problem, right?

I’m just saying it CAN be done.

Do you agree with me?

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David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

I hope you’re doing ok.

I heard this thing that Norma Bombeck once said, that normal is just a setting on your
dryer.

And I thought that was funny.

Because a lot of people write to me or talk to me about how they don’t feel normal or think they are normal anymore just because they’ve got bipolar disorder now.

Or their supporters write to me or talk to me and say that their lives aren’t normal anymore because their loved one has bipolar disorder now.

And I thought about what Norma Bombeck said.

What is normal, anyway?

I think it’s whatever is normal for you.

Or maybe you had a “normal” before, but now you just have a different “normal.”

Does that make sense?

I have a friend who goes to Alcoholics Anonymous, and she says they have a saying that talks about “living life on life’s terms.”

I have another friend who says “you have to play the hand that you’re dealt.”

I think what they mean is that no, you didn’t ask to have bipolar disorder, or to have a loved one with the disorder – and yes, your lives have certainly changed because of it…

But that doesn’t mean your lives have to be worse.

Your life is whatever you make it – whatever “normal” is for you.

In my courses/systems, I don’t talk in terms of normal or abnormal. I talk in terms of stability. And I think that’s what you should be concentrating on more.

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And I don’t think you should be comparing yourself to other people, either.

I’ve seen that happen at some of the support groups I volunteer at, and it’s pretty sad, because it makes some people feel better while making other people feel worse.

I’m sorry if that sounds mean, but I’ve seen it happen too many times.

The ones who are doing really well kind of look down on the ones who aren’t, the ones who are still struggling.

And the ones who are still struggling compare themselves to the ones who are doing really well and wonder if there’s something wrong with them, because they aren’t doing as good.

That’s what I mean by what is normal, anyway?

Are you NOT normal if you’re not doing as good as someone else with their bipolar disorder?

And if you’re a supporter, are you not normal if you’re not handling your loved one’s bipolar disorder as good as the next person?

NO!

You’re doing the best you can for YOU!

And THAT is NORMAL for YOU!

Every person has their own normal.

Please don’t compare yourself to anyone else.

The only people you should be concerned about are yourselves.

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David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

How’s it going?

People always ask me if I read my bipolar blog.

Yes I do. I read EVERY single message : )

I got this message the other day:

JUDITH says:

“BIPOLAR PEOPLE NEED ALOT OF LOVE AND UNDERSTANDING. BOUNDARIES, BORDERS, ECT. LOVE IS THE MOST IMPORTANT…FOR IT TRULY IS SUFFERING. THINGS LEARNED IN KINDEGARDEN …. SHOULD BE APPLICABLE FOR ANYONE BIPOLAR OR NOT.”

Is love really the most important?

I don’t think so.

It is important, but it’s not the only important thing.

I believe more in what Judith says about how people with bipolar disorder need understanding, boundaries and borders.

Yes, of course, they need love, too, but I think these other things are more important to their stability.

That’s what I teach in my courses/systems:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

It’s just assumed that as a supporter of a loved one with bipolar disorder that you love them, or you wouldn’t be with them.

But is that THE most important thing?

Is love alone going to keep them stable?

Or even love and understanding combined?

I don’t think so.

I think you need systems, boundaries, and
borders.

I think it’s those things that will help you to support your loved one better.

If you take the time (when your loved one is not in an episode) to sit down with your loved one and establish  some boundaries, and then the consequences of breaking those boundaries, then you have developed part of a system.

This will help you more than just love when they are in an episode.

If you have a system in place for what to do when your loved one is in a bipolar episode, then that is more important than just love.

Now, again, I’m NOT saying that love isn’t important. It is. It’s just not the MOST important thing.

You need to have everyday systems in place to be a good supporter.

You need to have systems in place that will help your loved one to achieve stability.

You need to have systems in place that will help your loved one to maintain that stability.

What about you?

Do you agree with me or not?

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME
Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.