Bipolar Supporter Blog

Hi,

How’s your day going?

I was reading this book the other day called “The Strangest Secret.”

I highly recommend that you buy this book.

Even though I am going to tell you what the strangest secret is, I still recommend that you get the book for yourself.

According to this author, the strangest secret is “we become what we think about.”

This phrase means that an individual’s daily thoughts have a strong impact on their actions, which has a strong impact on their lives.

For example, say your teacher in school always told you that you were stupid.

You would go through life believing that you were stupid.

Because “we become what we think about.”

So if your loved one thinks all the time that they’ll never get better, well, then they’ll never get better, because “we become what we think about.”

In my courses/systems, I talk about the power of positive thinking. I know it’s not a new concept, but when applied to bipolar disorder, it can mean the difference between getting better and not getting better.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
There was this study that was done, where one group had mental illnesses, while the other group didn’t.

They didn’t tell the staff working with them what was going on.

What they did tell the staff was that the group with mental illnesses was sane, while the group that didn’t have any mental illnesses HAD mental illnesses!

So guess what happened?

The staff treated the group without mental illnesses as if they DID have mental illnesses, and the group that actually did have mental illnesses as if they DIDN’T have them!

Now comes the interesting part.

At the end of the study, the group that didn’t have mental illnesses to begin with, BELIEVED they were mentally ill, because they’d been treated as if they were.

And the ones who really had mental illnesses BELIEVED that they didn’t have any mental illnesses because they’d been treated as if they didn’t.

So I think what this author said is true: “We become what we think about.”

If you think you’re really smart, you become really smart.

If you think you’re really creative, you become really creative.

If you think you’re beautiful, you become beautiful.

If you think you can beat bipolar disorder, you CAN beat bipolar disorder.

On the other hand…

If you think you’re never going to be as good as anyone else, you won’t be.

If you think you’re stupid, you will be stupid.

If you think you’ll never get better, you won’t.

Remember:
“We become what we think about.”

So it’s really, really important that we saturate our minds with positive thoughts, images and goals so that we can become those things.

You/your loved one NEEDS to believe that you can get better from bipolar disorder so that you CAN!

You NEED to be positive about it, so “You believe what you think about.”

It’s the old, “Look at yourself in the mirror and say to yourself, ‘You’re a beautiful person” technique, only applied to bipolar disorder.

It’s worked for people without bipolar disorder, so why can’t it work for you?

Try this technique, and let me know your thoughts.

I’d love to know what you think.

Or if you’ve already used it, share your ideas with everyone and how you’ve done it, and how well it’s worked for you.

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME
Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

Hope your day is going well.

Hey, I have to take off really quick today because I am determined to get a whole lot of things done.

I actually have to head to the gym and then go to the library to do some research.

It’s freezing where I am today so  have to unfreeze my car which isn’t a lot of fun.

Okay, do you know what a martyr is? Well, back in the old days, a martyr was someone who gave up their life for a cause.

They actually died. Or were killed, usually.

A martyr would represent a whole bunch of other people.

They cared more about these other people than they cared about themselves.

They cared too much about what other people thought of them.

They cared too much about the cause than they cared themselves or even about their own families.

I don’t want you to be a bipolar martyr.

I don’t want you to be any of those things I just mentioned.

You don’t have to be.

You just have to be yourself.

No one put that big S on your chest but YOU.

You’re the one playing Super-Supporter.

You’re the one who’s trying to save the world.

You’re the one who’s caring too much what other people think about you.

But you don’t have to.

All you have to do is be yourself.

In my courses/systems below, I talk about all the things it takes to be a good supporter, and one of the biggest things is taking care of yourself:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
No one expects as much from you as you expect from yourself, I bet.

And I also bet that you would never expect as much from anyone else as you expect from yourself.

All your loved one expects from you is for you to love them.

Anything more is, as they say, “ice cream.”

So stop trying to be a bipolar martyr.

No one expects you to.

You need to take care of yourself, and the rest will fall into place.

If you don’t take care of yourself, how are you going to take care of your loved one?

So just relax, and be yourself!

What do you think/ Have any experience being a bipolar martyr? Has it worked?

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME
Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

Hope you’re having a good day.

I haven’t been lately.

We have so many people sick in the organization it’s hard to believe. All the sickness is NON mental health related. For example stomach flu.

I’ve had to do a whole lot of extra work these days.

Anyway, I can handle it.

So, there’s lots of talk these days of bailing out companies.

People want to bail out others who are facing foreclosure, banks, investment firms and now automakers.

Here’s the deal. I don’t think bailouts work.

Why?

Well, because I am in mental health.

A bailout is like being codependent or Like enabling someone.

The best thing is to figure out how the person got to where they are.

With my mom, I spent a whole lot of money over 7 years bailing her out of all her bipolar problems.

It never worked, she just needed more and more and more money.

I finally stopped, and she was forced to take responsibility for herself.

Today she is out of d.ebt and pays her own bills.

In my courses/systems, I talk about codependency and enabling, and about how these are negative things when it comes to supporting a loved one with bipolar disorder.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
Many people who are supporters keep on bailing their loved ones out over and over again.

Nobody ever stops to focus on the real problem–why the people need a bailout in the first place.

It’s just like today.

Why do automakers need a bailout?

Because they had poor business strategy, overpaid workers and management, and laziness at the top. (I could list a whole bunch of things, but those are the highlights.)

Anyway, bailing them out today will only serve to make them feel that they can keep on doing what they are doing and get another bailout in the future.

It’s just like mental health. If you keep bailing out your loved one, what incentive is there for them to do the
right thing?

It’s important for them to learn to take responsibility for their actions.

Especially after a bipolar episode.

They need to accept the consequences of what they did during the episode.

If you rescue them again, if you bail them out yet another time…

You’re being codependent or enabling them, which is the wrong thing to do.

Just like the automakers, you need to stop bailing out your loved one.

I have a ton of friends I have bailed out in a wide variety of ways over the years.

I have given the money. I have done friend’s homework. I have figured out solutions to their problems. I have gone to the end of the earth for them.

Did my “bailout” help them? No, because it was only a matter of in some cases a few days or weeks or months that they had another problem they needed to be bailed out from.

Now I am not saying to avoid helping people. Obviously since I volunteer and run this organization I believe in helping people. But what I am saying, is fixing a person entire problems or throwing money at their situation doesn’t work. It really doesn’t. Especially with bipolar disorder.

What are your experiences with this?

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME
Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

We had a big problem with something. I sent out a link about some material concerning Christianity, Spirituality and Michele Soloway Sexton’s The Bipolar Spiritual Journey series.

We had a technical error so there was no way to completely access it.

A whole bunch of people wrote us and the problem is now fixed.

If you had trouble and want to gain access visit:

http://www.bipolarcentral.com/spiritualjourneyspecialoffer/

Okay I have to run. Have a great day!

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

What’s going on?

Hope you are doing well.

I forgot to tell you something and you are going to think this is strange.

If you are new to my list or maybe a friend told you to join and you saw my subject line, you might be questioning either yourself or your friend as to what in the world a toothbrush could have to do with bipolar disorder, right?

Ok, here’s what happened:

I was hanging out with a friend and we decided to go out.

My friend had just finished up a meal replacement bar.

(Many times these replacement bars get stuck in your teeth.)

So he was like, “Dude, I have to brush my teeth. Hold on – I’m going to use my new cool electronic toothbrush.”

I said, “ok.”

So he went into the bathroom and he was back in about 30 seconds.

I was like, “So hurry up and brush your teeth!”

And he said, “Dude, I’m all set! It’s done. Let’s roll.”

So I said, “It only took you 30 seconds?”

And he was like, “DUDE! Don’t go econ on me!”

NOTE: Econ is economics, which has nothing to do with why I was asking. My friend is kind of simple. He just focuses on body building and power lifting and according to him, “Nothing else matters.”

ANOTHER NOTE: If you have been on my list for awhile, you notice that I have several friends that use the word “Dude” and when they want to make a point, they just say it louder. So DUDE in all caps is louder than dude in lower case.

Ok, so I said to him, “You’re supposed to brush for at least 2 minutes.”

He said to me, “DUDE, you think too much. You are too smart. Just have fun!”

So then I said, “That’s why your teeth are falling apart. You need to have patience and wait the full 2 minutes.”

He said, “Okay, DAD…” (notice he said DAD, not DUDE) “…I will, can we go? I’m already hungry and I need to get in 325 grams of protein in my day.”

NOTE: If you’re saying to yourself, “Holy cow, 325 grams of protein in a day is a ton,” you’re right!

I told my friend, “Your teeth are going to thank me in 10 years, you know.”

So he just said, “Ok.”

I know this is a funny story, but you’re probably wondering what it could possibly have to do with bipolar disorder, right?

Well, I’ll tell you. After thinking about this, I know a lot of people that use an electronic toothbrush and use it for
only 30 seconds.

Why?

Because they don’t follow the directions and don’t have patience. They want INSTANT results.

It’s just like bipolar survivors and supporters.

Sometimes they want INSTANT results, too.

In my courses/systems, I teach that it takes TIME for stability to happen:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
The good news is that stability CAN be reached.

But you have to do certain things to get there.

It’s not going to happen overnight.

It’s certainly not going to happen in 30 seconds.

And it’s definitely not going to happen instantly.

It takes TIME for it to happen.

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME

Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

Hope you’re doing good today.

If you’re a bipolar supporter, I have some good news and some bad news (don’t you hate when people do that?).

The good news is that your loved one can get better.

The bad news is that the bipolar disorder they have, works to try to prevent you from helping them get better.

Take a look at this:

Someone with the handle “tried them all” wrote the following:

“For over six years, I have been lying to myself. I have been hurting myself emotionally and physically. I seek help, but I am really lying that I want help at all. I’ve seen at least a dozen professionals, none of whom have helped me. Although each and every one had a fault, I could not overlook their deficiencies to see my own.

I am angry, but won’t admit to my anger. My anger is at myself…anger turned inward. I do harmful things to ‘act out’ my anger, but I only hurt myself and those around me. I have done nothing to help myself and all my efforts to seek help thus far have been in vain. I have lost the love of many. I no longer have the people and things that have meant most to me.

I have found that instead of working with these professionals, I have worked against them. Instead of trying to make things better, I have only made them worse.

I have only thought negatively, rather than positively. Instead of saying “I can,” I make excuses for why “I can’t.” I don’t try now because I fear failure. I have failed because I have been lying to myself.”
———————————————————

You can see how this person is struggling with a battle against bipolar disorder.

On the one hand, they want help. On the other hand, the bipolar works to stop the person from getting help.

It is complicated indeed!

I find that in these situations, supporters have to make huge efforts to get their loved ones into the right treatment, so that’s one of the things I go over in my courses/systems.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
It’s like bipolar disorder is your enemy, fighting against you all the time, and doesn’t want you to win, so in order to help your loved one, you have to step up your efforts every time the bipolar does (which seems to be all the time sometimes).

You can just feel the pain that this person in the post is going through. All the “on the one hand” and then “on the other hand,” whether they say it or not. They are so confused!

I bet your loved one goes through the same thing.

The most important thing is not only that they get treatment, but that they get the right treatment.

Not only that, but they have to be cooperative with their treatment.

This person talked about the many professionals they sought for treatment.

But then they said, “I have found that instead of working with these professionals, I have worked against them. Instead of trying to make things better, I have only made them worse.”

One of the ways you can help your loved one is to encourage them to work with the professionals trying to help them. Tell them that they need to be part of their own treatment, or it won’t work, and they can’t get better – that they have to be HONEST with their treatment team.

First of all, if they don’t go to their appointments, they will NEVER get better, because how can they get ANY help at all?

Tell your loved one that as much as you love them, that you can’t help them all by yourself – that they need these professionals to help them, too.

Maybe you can even show your loved one this email and let them read the post from “tried them all,” so they can see how they might end up if they don’t cooperate with their own professionals.

Let them see some of the things that this person said. I’m sure your loved one doesn’t want to hurt themselves emotionally and physically like this person says they’ve done.

I’m sure your loved one doesn’t want to do hurtful things in “anger turned inward” to hurt themselves or you.

Or to be like this person who goes on to say, “I have lost the love of many. I no longer have the people and things that have meant most to me.”

Maybe you should tell your loved one that you don’t want them to turn out like that. That you don’t want them to lose you, but that if they continue not to seek help for their bipolar disorder, that they might lose you anyway.

I know that seems harsh, but many supporters have left their loved ones because, without proper treatment, their loved ones got worse, not better.

I know you want your loved one to get better.

I know that you love them, or you wouldn’t be with them.

One of the hardest things, supporters tell me, is getting their loved one into treatment.

This post shows what happens when a person with bipolar disorder doesn’t get the treatment they need.

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME
Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

How’s it going today?

What’s going on? Hope you are doing well. I have a ton of things I have to do today so I have to get going.

Oh, someone asked me about the new position I am going to be hiring for. I will post it in a few weeks.

Oh, someone asked about when I will be coming out with the information on disability and bipolar disorder. Probably not until February 2008.

Okay, so I got this email that I wanted to share with you:

“Dave, I’ve been getting your emails for a while now, and I usually like them, but lately I just don’t think they apply to my situation. My wife has just gone crazy. I thought she was taking her medication, but maybe she wasn’t. She maxed out our credit cards, cleaned out our checking account, and remortgaged the house without me even knowing about it. I don’t know what to do. But I don’t even think that’s the worst of it. Dave, we’ve been married for 30 years, we’ve raised 3 children, and I thought we had a good life. I have never, not once, cheated on her. And I know she hasn’t cheated on me before. But now I know she has. It would be too embarrassing to tell you how I know, but believe me, I know. Now what do I do? Is this the last straw? Should I divorce her? I don’t think I could ever forgive her. This is what a manic episode can do to a marriage. Why don’t you ever talk about that?”

—————————————————————–

Well, first of all, I’m not a lawyer, marriage counselor, or any other kind of professional, so I can’t give any kind of advice like that.

But I can tell you that this isn’t the first email I’ve gotten like this.

So let me point out a few things.

There was a key phrase that just stood out like a neon sign to me at the beginning of this man’s email:

“I thought she was taking her medication, but maybe she wasn’t.”

When someone with bipolar disorder goes off their medication, they may not go into an episode right away, but it is pretty much inevitable that they will eventually go into one.

This is evident by the rest of what this man said in his email.

In my courses/systems, I discuss the signs/symptoms of bipolar episodes:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
The signs/symptoms of a bipolar manic episode are evident from this man’s email, as he describes his wife’s behavior.

One of the main symptoms of a manic episode is excessive spending.

He says, “She maxed out our credit cards, cleaned out our checking account, and remortgage the house without me even knowing about it.”

When someone with bipolar disorder is not on their medication, they are not stable.

Someone who is normally very responsible with money, could very well show this type of behavior.

Another sign/symptom of a bipolar manic episode is impulsivity.

This can be manifested in bad choices, poor decision making, and risk-taking behavior.

Examples of this include:

· Gambling
· Driving recklessly
· Substance abuse
· Sexual promiscuity

Unfortunately, there may be consequences to these bad choices, poor decisions, and risk-taking behaviors, even though many times, the person may not even remember what happened during the episode.

For example, someone in a manic episode may get drunk, drive recklessly, and end up getting arrested for a DUI… yet later on, have no idea how they got there or what they did.

There have been several cases of women with
bipolar disorder who have been model wives while on their medication but when they’ve gone off their medication, have shown sexual risk-taking behavior such as having affairs with strange men – yet afterward have had no recollection of doing anything wrong.

In these cases, the only evidence of the affair has been a sexually transmitted disease that they’ve passed on to their husband.

(I’m not showing prejudice here — the same thing has also been true of men.) As I said in the beginning of this post, I’m not a doctor, marriage counselor, or other professional,  so I can’t give this man any advice like he’s asking for. I can’t tell him whether to get a divorce or not.

What I can say is that this woman shows all the earmarks of being in a bipolar manic episode which will NOT go away on its own.

She needs help.

If this is a case of her going off her medication, then she needs to go back on it right away (under a doctor’s care).

The issues brought up by this email are some of the issues that supporters and their loved ones face after a bipolar episode.

Counseling (individual and group), family therapy, marriage counseling, support groups, and individual and /or couples therapy are some ways that people have tried to help deal with the consequences of a bipolar  episode.

In the end, it boils down to communication between the supporter and their loved one and how they decide to handle the behavior and its consequences.

Whatever you do, however, the most important thing is that your loved one’s bipolar disorder MUST be managed;
which means that their medication must first be brought under control.

They must stick to their treatment plan for any long-term stability and decrease of episodes.

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME
Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

How’s it going?

So yesterday was Thanksgiving. You know what’s strange? I ate less than I normally do. MUCH less. Very strange. It was because of poor meal planning. Oh well 🙂

Anyway, Here is today’s news.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews406

Mother, Daughter Hail Promise of Bipolar Help

When Mental Illness Tarnishes your Golden Years

Bipolar Disorder Genes, Pathways Identified By Indiana University Neuroscientists

More Studies Urged for Off-label Drugs

Bipolar Teen Kills Himself as Online Audience Watches

Tough Choices for Tough Children

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews406

==>Help with ALL aspects of bipolar disorder<<==

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:

http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.