Bipolar Supporter Blog

Hi,

Hope you’re having a good day.

I have a whole bunch of things to do today so I have to get going.

So let’s jump into today’s topic.

I have a woman who works for me, and she was telling me that when her children were little, she used to use a “warning system” for disciplining them.

If they were doing something bad, they would get three chances to change their behavior before they would get disciplined.

Her system was to say, “That’s one…”

And if they still didn’t stop, she’d say, “That’s two…”

Then if they still didn’t stop, she’d say, “That’s three!”

And the punishment would begin!

This way she would never have to discipline her children in anger, she says, because she would always give
them three chances first.

In fact, the way she puts it is, “I never punished my children. They punished themselves!”

I look at is that her use of the “one, two, three” system as using KEY WORDS.

In other words, she was using these words to try to get her children to change their behavior based on these certain words.

I talk about how important communication between you and your loved one is in my courses/systems below:

NEW LEARN THE SECRETS OF THE MOST SUCCESSFUL WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/bipolarmastersystem/

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
In the same way this woman used key words to
discipline her children, you can use key words
with your loved one.

Oh, not to discipline them, of course, but to communicate with them.

You can sit down with your loved one and develop these key words together.

Here can be a sample conversation:

YOU: I’ve noticed you’ve been acting sort of keyed-up lately.

THEM: Yeah, I have been kind of nervous.

YOU: I’m not always sure what to do when you feel like that, or even if you want my help.

THEM: I don’t know how to tell you that I need your help.

YOU: What if we come up with a key word that you can use that tells me that you need my help?

Then the two of you can come up with a key word together that only the two of you use in that situation.

Here’s another example:

YOU: I want to talk to you sometimes, but I don’t know how to approach you when you seem distant.

THEM: You just need to tell me.

YOU: I try to tell you, but sometimes I just don’t know how to get your attention, or to tell you how important it is.

THEM: How about if it’s something simple, you just say, “If you’ve got a minute…” but if it’s something important, you say, “Can we sit down?.” That way I’ll know the difference.

Do you see the use of key words in the second example? (“got a minute” and “sit down”)

Other examples of key words you can use with your loved one could be:

· If you notice they seem depressed, use the keyword “down”

· If you notice they seem manicky, use the keywords “excited” or “nervous”

· If your loved one is acting distant, use the keywords “share” (as in, “Is there something you want to share?”) or “listen” (as in, “If you want to talk, I can listen.”)

· If your loved one doesn’t seem like themselves lately, use the keyword “off” (“You seem a little “off” lately)

· “Brainstorm” is a good general keyword to use when you’re loved one seems troubled, as in, “You look like
you’re trying to figure something out. Maybe we can brainstorm some ideas together?”

These are some examples of general keywords, but it’s better if the two of you come up with keywords together.

You can even sit down with your loved one with this list and use some of these and see if they work for you.

Key words are especially useful in social settings – family gatherings, etc.

For example, if “nervous” is one of your keywords to signify between your loved one and you that your loved one is feeling anxiety around others, then when they say that keyword to you, you have agreed ahead of time that the two of you will leave. This will save embarrassment in those situations.

The most important thing is that you keep the lines of communication open between you.

Using key words is one of the ways to do that.

What do you think?

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME
Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

I hope you’re having a good day.

I was looking at a good movie to see today. I want to take a break.

I read an interview with Leonardo DiCaprio, who is such a famous movie star now that he makes $20 million per movie!

But the interview wasn’t about that – in fact, it wasn’t about fame and fortune at all.

This interview was about DiCaprio’s relationship with his “Oma,” his grandmother who had just died.

“Sometimes I’d ask Oma,” DiCaprio said, “Isn’t it great now, all this stuff happening in my life?”

And she answered him, “Don’t you worry about that. Take a break. Be a bricklayer. Work with your hands. You’ll love it. Step back and reflect on what’s going on in your life. Appreciate it.”

So here’s what he told the interviewer after that:

“I do appreciate it. I know how lucky I am.”

Wow.

No Hollywood hoopla. No ego.

No bragging about what a great star he is, how rich he is, how big his house is, what kind of car he drives, or how great his next movie is going to be.

He wanted to talk about his Oma, and the lesson she taught him.

And that’s what I want to talk to you about today.

“Step back and reflect on what’s going on in your life,” Oma said.

“I do appreciate it. I know how lucky I am,” DiCaprio said.

Both those who have bipolar disorder and their supporters can take a lesson from those wise words.

In my courses/systems, I tell you not to let bipolar disorder rule your whole life, and suggest ways for you not to let that happen:

NEW LEARN THE SECRETS OF THE MOST SUCCESSFUL WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/bipolarmastersystem/

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
You need to reflect on your life and make sure that it’s not centered entirely around your/your loved one’s bipolar disorder.

You need to reflect on what’s going on in your life. If all your activities are bipolar-related activities, you need to make some changes.

There should be more to your life than just bipolar disorder. You need to appreciate your life. You need to appreciate yourself, and the strength it takes on a daily basis to fight this disorder. You need to appreciate your relationship with your loved one, because you need to stick together against your common enemy, bipolar disorder.

You need to appreciate your family and friends who have stuck by you in spite of the disorder.

You need to appreciate the fact that you are not homeless and penniless, as many people are who have a mental illness.

You need to appreciate having a strong support system.

You need to appreciate having a good doctor, psychiatrist, and therapist.

You need to appreciate that YOU control the disorder, instead of the disorder controlling you.

Because it’s hard to appreciate a life that’s controlled by bipolar disorder.

There HAS to be more to your life than just the disorder.

There should be enjoyment in your life.

There should be productivity in your life.

There should be relationships in your life – family, friends, etc.

You should even have a social life.

Other than the occasional episode, you should be living a life as normal as someone who doesn’t have (or doesn’t have a loved one with) bipolar disorder.

So reflect on your life.

Appreciate it.

Appreciate all the small things that go into it to make it beautiful.

Take a lesson from Leonardo DiCaprio, so you too can say:

“I do appreciate it. I know how lucky I am.”

PLEASE POST RESPONSES TO THIS EMAIL BELOW FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME
Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

I hope today is a good day for you.

Today I want to talk to you about:

APPRECIATION

We hear a lot about appreciating things in life, big and small.

But the big things we should appreciate a lot – Like the fact that we are even alive, that counts for a lot.

Being healthy.

Our spouses, families, and children…and their health and well-being.

Our homes. Our cars (and the fact that they run).

Our jobs. Financial security.

But where does bipolar disorder fit into all that?

Those are all GOOD things, you’re probably thinking.

How can you possibly appreciate something like bipolar disorder?

You probably think I’m crazy.

In my courses/systems I talk about bipolar episodes, about having them and how to avoid having them.

NEW LEARN THE SECRETS OF THE MOST SUCCESSFUL WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/bipolarmastersystem/

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

I’m not saying having bipolar disorder is something to appreciate (that WOULD be crazy of me! 🙂

But what I’m saying is to appreciate the NON-episode times.

Many people think that bipolar disorder consists of episode after episode, but that’s not true.

In the normal course of the disorder, people can go months and even years between episodes.

What I’m telling you is to appreciate the NON-episode times.

Yes, you do still need to be prepared for episodes when they do come, I’m not saying that you don’t.

And you do still need to be vigilant and watch for signs and symptoms of episodes so that you can catch them before they happen.

Still be careful of triggers that may signal an impending episode.

But there are longer periods of normalcy than there are periods of episodes, and I’m saying to appreciate THOSE times.

Hey, I am heading off to the gym now. Catch you tomorrow.

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME
Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

How are you?

Here is today’s news.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews414

Bipolar Disorder Epidemic
DO>Hmm. Do you agree?

What Can I Expect From Treatment For Bipolar Disorder?
DO> Great article.

Beyond Disabilities
DO> Another good article, don’t you think?

Find Out All You Can About Child’s Bipolar Diagnosis
DO> Supporting a child? Read this.

NAMI Basics Program Provides Help To Families
DO> Good program.

Schizophrenia, Bipolar Disorder: Gene Link?
DO> Wow, this is VERY interesting.

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews414

==>Help with ALL aspects of bipolar disorder<<==

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:

http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

Hope you’re doing ok.

Today’s subject is a serious one, because of an email I got in response to my post about being supportive  but not enabling:

Jeannie1 says:
“Could someone please tell me what to do when I am trying to be a supporter not an enabler. When the lady I support is in a manic episode, do I walk away from her, do I sit there and take the abuse, how do I handle this???? I know when the episodes are coming, I just don’t know what to do. I have tried everything at this point and to tell you the truth I am ready to walk away. It is my responsibility to help her when she is in an episode because she is totally unable to help herself but she gets so abusive and tells me to get away from her. I try talking to her but of course it doesn’t work, she just gets more and more abusive…”
——————————————————-

Now, I’m not a doctor or therapist, so I can’t give that kind of advice, but I can try to at least address some of the comments made in this post, because I think it brings up a serious subject we should talk about – abuse and bipolar disorder.

The first thing I would say to this person and to you is that if violence or abuse is involved and you are getting hurt, that is wrong. You need to protect yourself. You don’t have to accept the unacceptable, and you shouldn’t accept physical abuse. No one should, and bipolar disorder is NOT an excuse!

If you are being physically abused, you seriously need to consider getting the police involved and/or leaving your loved one. You do not have to tolerate it, just because they have bipolar disorder. Would you tolerate it from someone who does not have bipolar disorder?

Ok, with that said, let’s go on to some other things this person says in her post.

She says she knows when the episodes are coming, she just doesn’t know what to do.

That’s one of the things I teach in my courses /systems – how to be prepared ahead of time for episodes and what to do about them.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
You have to be prepared in advance.

Sit down with your loved one during a time when they are NOT in an episode and determine together a plan of what you will do when they are in an episode.

Unfortunately, in this person’s case, where it sounds like their loved one might become violent, they would have to determine what to do when the person becomes abusive.

You need to set some boundaries with your loved one about what is acceptable behavior and what is not acceptable behavior.

You also need to determine what the consequences of unacceptable behavior should be.

The hard part for you, as the supporter, will be to stick to your boundaries. But you must do so. You must make them accept responsibility for their behavior, even if they don’t want to.

What about you?

Have you dealt with an abusive loved one with bipolar disorder?

If so, please share with us how you have handled it.

And as far as this post, do YOU think this person should leave their loved one, like they are asking you?

PLEASE POST RESPONSES TO THIS EMAIL BELOW FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME
Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

How’s it going?

I hope you are doing well.

You know, somebody actually wrote me and asked me if there was a recipe for optimism.

I also was thinking about the inauguration yesterday and seeing how many people feel optimistic about the state of affairs in the United States (which has been going through a hard time).

So I want to tell you a recipe for optimism.

Now before you get all critical or laugh it off, let me tell you that I really thought about this! I know there really isn’t a “recipe,” per se, but there is something to be said for it.

Because another supporter asked, “How can we be optimistic when our loved one has bipolar disorder?”

Now do you see why I gave it some serious thought?

Well, let me tell you a few things about optimism first.

“It is or it ain’t,” as a friend of mine says. “You can’t have it both ways.”

Meaning that if you’re not optimistic, then you must be pessimistic.

You can’t see the glass as half-full and half-empty at the same time.

See what I mean? You’re either an optimist or a pessimist.

And in my courses/systems, I encourage optimism, because I believe having a positive attitude is just as important a part of management of bipolar disorder as the other parts, like medication and therapy.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
But let’s get back to optimism (great subject, isn’t it?)

It isn’t something you can learn.

Or something your parents can teach you.

Or a secret a friend passes onto you.

Or something you can do research about, or study in a laboratory.

Optimism isn’t something tangible. It isn’t something you can touch.

It isn’t something you can even experience with any one of your five senses, for that matter.

But optimism DOES exist! It IS real! And some people DO have it!

In fact, those people are very glad to have it.

Optimism just IS.

It is a choice. It is a decision. One that you can make, if you want.

So how can you be optimistic if your loved one has bipolar disorder?

For every day that your loved one goes without an episode, you can be optimistic that they’ll go the next day without one, too.

If they’re taking their medication like they’re supposed to, you can be optimistic that they’ll stay medication compliant and continue to do well.

If they’re following their treatment plan faithfully, they you can be optimistic that stability is in their future.

If they’re healthy, you can be optimistic that they’ll stay healthy.

And especially, if they’re doing all of the above, you can be optimistic that the two of you can enjoy your loved one’s stability in the future.

And as far as a “recipe” for optimism?

Well, there really isn’t one (but you knew that J)

But if there were, it would probably go something like this:

RECIPE FOR BIPOLAR OPTIMISM

Take one part positive thinking
Add one cup good attitude
Add an ounce of adventure
A cup of excitement
A bunch of understanding
Another bunch of support
A lot of patience
And top it all off with good feelings
And hope for tomorrow

So do you agree or disagree with me?

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME
Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

How’s it going?

There’s one thing you can never stop doing when you’re dealing with bipolar disorder, and that’s LEARNING.

When your loved one was first diagnosed, you should have gotten your hands on every bit of information you could about bipolar disorder, learned everything you could about your loved one’s disorder (and they should have, too).

But then it’s too easy to fall into complacency after time goes by.

Maybe it’s been a long time.

Maybe you think you’ve learned all there is to learn about bipolar disorder.

But I warn you, that’s dangerous thinking.

Because there’s always new information coming out about the disorder.

And you should never stop learning.

I have all kinds of information in my courses/systems, and one of the things I stress the most is to never stop learning about bipolar disorder.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
I have had some people who’ve worked for me who stopped learning, so they didn’t improve in their job. They just kept living off knowledge they had before.

So do you think they advanced in the company? No, they didn’t. Some of them didn’t even last in their jobs very long at all.

All because they stopped learning.

It’s the same with your doctors, psychiatrists and therapists.

How good do you think they would be if they just kept practicing just with the knowledge they already had about bipolar disorder?

What if they didn’t keep up on new techniques, if they didn’t read about the new advances and new research on the disorder?

Do you think they would be the best professionals for your loved one?

Now what about you?

Don’t you want to be the best supporter you can be?

Then don’t stop learning.

Keep reading up on bipolar disorder.

There is always new information on the internet.

I am always keeping up with the latest news, research and information on my website that you can get to real easy. That’s why it’s there – for you.

Remember –

Never stop learning about bipolar disorder.
FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME
Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.