Hi,
How’s it going?
I hope you are doing well.
You know, somebody actually wrote me and asked me if there was a recipe for optimism.
I also was thinking about the inauguration yesterday and seeing how many people feel optimistic about the state of affairs in the United States (which has been going through a hard time).
So I want to tell you a recipe for optimism.
Now before you get all critical or laugh it off, let me tell you that I really thought about this! I know there really isn’t a “recipe,” per se, but there is something to be said for it.
Because another supporter asked, “How can we be optimistic when our loved one has bipolar disorder?”
Now do you see why I gave it some serious thought?
Well, let me tell you a few things about optimism first.
“It is or it ain’t,” as a friend of mine says. “You can’t have it both ways.”
Meaning that if you’re not optimistic, then you must be pessimistic.
You can’t see the glass as half-full and half-empty at the same time.
See what I mean? You’re either an optimist or a pessimist.
And in my courses/systems, I encourage optimism, because I believe having a positive attitude is just as important a part of management of bipolar disorder as the other parts, like medication and therapy.
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HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
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http://www.survivebipolar.net
But let’s get back to optimism (great subject, isn’t it?)
It isn’t something you can learn.
Or something your parents can teach you.
Or a secret a friend passes onto you.
Or something you can do research about, or study in a laboratory.
Optimism isn’t something tangible. It isn’t something you can touch.
It isn’t something you can even experience with any one of your five senses, for that matter.
But optimism DOES exist! It IS real! And some people DO have it!
In fact, those people are very glad to have it.
Optimism just IS.
It is a choice. It is a decision. One that you can make, if you want.
So how can you be optimistic if your loved one has bipolar disorder?
For every day that your loved one goes without an episode, you can be optimistic that they’ll go the next day without one, too.
If they’re taking their medication like they’re supposed to, you can be optimistic that they’ll stay medication compliant and continue to do well.
If they’re following their treatment plan faithfully, they you can be optimistic that stability is in their future.
If they’re healthy, you can be optimistic that they’ll stay healthy.
And especially, if they’re doing all of the above, you can be optimistic that the two of you can enjoy your loved one’s stability in the future.
And as far as a “recipe” for optimism?
Well, there really isn’t one (but you knew that J)
But if there were, it would probably go something like this:
RECIPE FOR BIPOLAR OPTIMISM
Take one part positive thinking
Add one cup good attitude
Add an ounce of adventure
A cup of excitement
A bunch of understanding
Another bunch of support
A lot of patience
And top it all off with good feelings
And hope for tomorrow
So do you agree or disagree with me?
FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME
Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials
David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.
Post responses below.
I truly wish I could be optimistic. It’s hard to think positive when my son is doing absolutely nothing to help himself. Meds aren’t the answer to everything – we have certainly realized that. So how do you think optimistically if the bipolar person is not getting further help and won’t accept any help from his supporters??? And he is adamant that he doesn’t need help. In the meantime, his wife and children and his extended family are trying to deal with the consequences of his actions; no financial support, periodic outrage episodes, paranoia and more.
You are giving us a lot of inspiration to recover us from our bad time. your recipe is very good.
thank u for ur letters i have a hard time with every thing so im trieing to stay out of bed i dont know what to say thank u
Please correct the spelling on my name. It is Candy…… not Cndy.
Thank you very much…..
I am glad to have found this information. I am the parent of TWO BiPolar children. Both adopted and both also diagnosed with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome….. Ages 13 and 15 years.
Thank you sincerely,
Candy
I don’t belive in what most of what you say…
unsless of course you DO have the SUPPORT of others ( like you say )…Tell me….how do you get that?!!!!
Amanda
Absolutely True!! You Rock my friend!!!
Hi
I think being postive, optimistic, IS something you can learn to some degree. I allowed my pessimism to become full blown anxiety in recent years, and sought all kinds of advice, including online research. I learned that a big help is to be able to recognize negative thinking and stop the train of thought IMMEDIATELY – change the subject, get busy, find a distraction, or even imagine a POSITIVE SCENARIO/OUTCOME for whatever I was worried about. This won’t solve ALL your problems, but it can make you more optimistic and less fretful. Please try it.
That is so true. Good recipe. Tenga un buen día.
Sure, with what you specifically list – it would be foolish to not be optimistic with EVERYTHING being done according to plan. Life isn’t like that. Things aren’t always so peachy and think more of the problem is not that people don’t know what optimism is. It’s not about how to obtain that kind of attitude. The crux of the matter is with all the personality traits, influx of moody matters, all the hype of; do this and do that and you’ll be fine is a lesson people who aren’t compliant need to learn! Denial. Now that’s a topic if ever there was one. I appreciate your lightheartedness about optimism, but it goes way beyond that. It’s important to have a good attitude, but that alone isn’t going to convince someone of what they SHOULD and NEED to do to get healthy and fit.
The recipe reads like a joke and I’m not too amused.
I like what you do, but this one…I don’t know.
Hi,
I write a weekly column called God Given Daisies for the SFPNN the Positive News Network….I would like to use your article on Optimism along with mine….My stories are all true inspirational stories that have happened to me and my family…I have a brother that is bi-polar and I think my mom is too…although she is 91 and it is hard to tell … at times she is totally irrational and other times a warm loving sweet individual….but with dementia, altzsheimer and being old…you really can not tell
If you give permission, I will use your name and column as I respect every writers work….I know what it is like to have things stolen from you and appear some where out there without your permission…and of course they change things to make it more like tabloid news…
Anyway I hope you will give me the permission…because I was going to write on the same subject being the world is feeling Optimistic right now…but, you said it so well…Thanks and keep up the good work…We all know it is not easy!…Thanks, Carole Devecka
God Given Daisies
You can google my name or my column and see who I am
Once upon a time I was a positive thinking, adventutous, happy, excited, open minded person. I volunteered, joined social groups, worked and raised my children. Then I was switched or kindled to bipolar. I spent 4 years trying to figure that out all the while I was in the hell of the dark side. My business was destroyed, but I was able to maintain my relationships. Happy go lucky, positive thinking people annoy me now. I am grateful for stable days and hopeful for the future, but I will never return to that manic driven optimistic lifestyle. Sorry.
Hello Dave,
Just wanted to say Thank You for the words of wisdom I believe in Optimistic attitudes it is what keeps me going and to help me with my son I am gald there are people who can share in this life learning process
have a great one
Best,
Chrisitna
Can’t think of many in my life that wouldn’t want to be an optomist.
Really glad you can be.
Would be appreciated if you could tell those of us, who’s lives are like houses are cards, collapsing in on us, just how.
Do you have any idea just how hard it is to juggle life, even if things are going well, without having the struggle of coping with a chronic illness and trying to make it look to everyone that life is just peachy.
Dear Dave: It seems my son is always the same except when something goes wrong then he has the rage, I am going to mail your rx for optomisium. (can’t spell) He doesn’t seem to have episodes-he is down and nasty pretty much of the time. He said the other day he did not like being uptight all the time, so he does have some insight into his condition. (I also mail him your e-mails that I think will help him.(he doesn’t listen to me very well. Thank you Mary Sanders
“Glass half-empty; glass half full,” “If you’re not pessimistic, you’re optimistic;” etc. These are ALL platitudes to people with bipolar and those who love them. As you say – there is NO recipe for being optimistic. Sometimes, it’s just ingrained in a person, and even with bipolar, they can ACT optimistic. Like me. I can put on a “good show” of being happy, or “up,” and STILL have extreme, external stressors that would “try the patience of Job.”
Interpersonal relationships depend on “moods.” Being in a condo, I only see my neighbors once in awhile, but it’s ALWAYS, “How are you today? What’s going on?” in an upbeat way. Make conversation, ask about their lives, be “out there.”
Now, I KNOW this is hard to do when you’re in the “black dog” of a depressive cycle; but sometimes you have to “FAKE IT TIL YOU MAKE IT.” My Dad was a great one for repeating: “If you want to be enthusiastic, you have to ACT enthusiastic.” That got me through high school – and even running for Senior Class President!!
I, too, have been clinically depressed, when the ACT was absolutely IMPOSSIBLE for me to sustain. But – I went to work every day – because I HAD to. I didn’t come out of it for almost a year, at which time I was put on antidepressants – “better life through chemistry!”
Another way of looking at optimism is FAITH-based. If you have HOPE in the Lord, and rely on Him – read scripture if it helps, you’ll find a comfort that will enable you to look at the world in a different way. Hope what I’ve said makes sense to someone out there – this, too, shall pass…
BIG HUGS to all bipolar survivors and those who love us. May God bless you real good. I pray for my country.
Hey I’m trying to be optimistic but it is hard. The girl I’ve been involved with for the last 15 months has went from a mania episode and is now going into a depression.
We went from dating and even talking marriage to not speaking, back to dating and now back to not speaking due to her being in the early stages of depression. I tried to talk to her about when I saw the first signs of it. She even agreed and said she was scared of it. She can’t take antidepressants because the throw her into a mania every time she tries them.
But through this all I’m trying to think positive about it. I promised her I would not leave her and I’m going to keep that promise. But it is hard to keep your hopes up when the person you love more than life its self is going through this. I just pray that through this she learn to trust me more and know that I’m in it for the long haul. I know that things will get better but when?
hahahahaha, seriously, thats a joke right??? i come out with more helpful stuff when i take a crap. for a start its not an either or thing, you dont have to be one or the other, thats black and white thinking which as you should know is a symptom of bpd. seriously, i signed up to see if what my friend said about you was right, seems so.
I just want to say thank you for the info and look forward to hearing from you much more Thanks!
I don’t agree okay a certain amount of been positive can but when your already struggling with life it doesnt work. and other people can pull you down. I have a family party tonight and i am not looking forward to it at all. You have relations at it and you have to put on the positive face and i feel you cant relax pretending to be nice you arent been yoursrelf i call that two faced and i hate if someone is two face to me and coz its my mam’s 60 i cant but not go. then my hubby who isnt bipolar digs his heels in cause its on at same time of his football and i feel i need him at my side and i already feel the tension building he hates been around my family.
I am fed up. fed up with life you stumble from one thing to the next. life doesnt give much back or anything to look forward to. special ocassions are good but then turn into a financial burden.
Fed up have enough wish life would just give me a break
God Bless Amanda
I have to admit that your recipe is cute. It made me smile! I disagree with you, however, that optimism is something you just “have.” Optimisism is a byproduct of the thoughts you have at any particular moment. Thoughts are influenced by the attitude a person chooses to have, and their attitude is a conscious decision whether they choose to believe it or not. Making a conscious effort to have a more positive attitude is difficult at best when you consider how many negative people live in the world. Also, there is an attitude in between optimism and pessimism that is sometimes appropriate. It’s called realism. The glass is not half full, nor half empty – it simply has water in it. Other than that, I really enjoyed your article. Thanks for taking the time to write it!
Dave,
Your recipe for optimism is great except you left out one of the most important; L O V E; as I am 52, bipolar and often feel unloved.
I feel we need extra reassurance that our loved ones love us; especially after an episode.
Thank you, you are doing a great service to a lot of people.
Your new friend,
Kim (Kimbo)
in Australia.
I disagree that one is either/or and can’t learn optimism. Every day list 10 positive different things to be thankful for. Maybe the weather, you complimented a person which made YOU feel good, you have food. Things we take for granted. With practice (and humor) a thought process can change. Bipolar people are most often creative—their lists could be the best! Add that to your daily mood charting? It could be an upper.
Agree! Either sadness or euphoria. Interesting, as I read your email a song came on that hit it on the nail, Faith, by George Michael.
Really like emails.
Thanks John
Beautiful recipe…I agree
Just how much does the psych. trade & the Drug cartels pay you to spew this propaganda?
You know NOTHING & never will.
Worse as they whom you serve, you do NOT wish NOR NEED know anything…..
You also are soft in the cock.
ie: NO DEBATE YET!
I have bi-polar, severe depression, and anxciety and Family Services says I am not disabled enough for medicaid. I canot afford doctors visits or medications if they take away my medicaid. I will end up like the beggining of this. I do not knw what I will do. With every job I have had I break down. Either I have one of the symptoms or all of the symptoms. I have a big scar on my right leg I wanted to just die. I ended up with 11 stitches. I f i lose my medicaid all of the progres I have made will be for nothing and I would lose my husband and my daughter. please help me. my court date is 2-26-09 at 9:30 a.m.