Bipolar Supporter Blog

Hi,

How’s it going?

People always ask me if I read my bipolar blog.

Yes I do. I read EVERY single message : )

I got this message the other day:

JUDITH says:

“BIPOLAR PEOPLE NEED ALOT OF LOVE AND UNDERSTANDING. BOUNDARIES, BORDERS, ECT. LOVE IS THE MOST IMPORTANT…FOR IT TRULY IS SUFFERING. THINGS LEARNED IN KINDEGARDEN …. SHOULD BE APPLICABLE FOR ANYONE BIPOLAR OR NOT.”

Is love really the most important?

I don’t think so.

It is important, but it’s not the only important thing.

I believe more in what Judith says about how people with bipolar disorder need understanding, boundaries and borders.

Yes, of course, they need love, too, but I think these other things are more important to their stability.

That’s what I teach in my courses/systems:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

It’s just assumed that as a supporter of a loved one with bipolar disorder that you love them, or you wouldn’t be with them.

But is that THE most important thing?

Is love alone going to keep them stable?

Or even love and understanding combined?

I don’t think so.

I think you need systems, boundaries, and
borders.

I think it’s those things that will help you to support your loved one better.

If you take the time (when your loved one is not in an episode) to sit down with your loved one and establish  some boundaries, and then the consequences of breaking those boundaries, then you have developed part of a system.

This will help you more than just love when they are in an episode.

If you have a system in place for what to do when your loved one is in a bipolar episode, then that is more important than just love.

Now, again, I’m NOT saying that love isn’t important. It is. It’s just not the MOST important thing.

You need to have everyday systems in place to be a good supporter.

You need to have systems in place that will help your loved one to achieve stability.

You need to have systems in place that will help your loved one to maintain that stability.

What about you?

Do you agree with me or not?

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME
Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

How’s it going?

Hey, a bunch of people are calling and asking me about a particular person who seems to be attacking me on my bipolar blog.

I don’t think the person is attacking me just stating his position. I completely disagree with his position but I believe in free speech.

Anyway thanks for looking out for me if you are worried.

The thing is, everyone doesn’t have to agree with me and I highly encourage you to take what I say and think about it. Talk about it. Don’t just agree all the time.

When I say stuff, I have thought about it long and hard myself.

Anyway, just wanted to let you know.

I want to tell you a funny story about a friend of mine. He is on a dating site because he is looking for someone to date (obviously).

So anyway, he is telling me that there are no qualified people in his area.

I was like, “That’s impossible.”

He was like, “Yea, it’s true.”

I said, “So tell me what happened?”

Like many people, he said, “Well, that girl was crazy. This girl was mean. That one texted too many messages to me, etc.”

NOTE- It’s so funny how a guy that can’t find a girl to date will say that all women are “crazy.” I often ask them, “Have you considered that the problem could be you?” Anyway, that’s a good way to make people mad so I avoid that these days.

So anyway, he said to me, “You should look at my choices. If I put 10 miles from my zip code there’s nothing.”

I was like, “10 miles?”

He was like, “Yea, I wanted to go 5 but I thought that was too small of a radius.”

I was like, “How about 100 miles then?”

Then my friend goes into a tirade about how that’s too far, he has to work, he doesn’t have time, blah blah blah.

I said, “How about not being lazy and stretching if you are serious.”

Then I said, “You remind me of the people on my list or in my family that would say I can’t find a doctor where we live. There are NONE. You just don’t understand Dave.”

I would find out they wanted a doctor like about 5 minutes from their house.

I once said to my of my family members, “Maybe we can find a doctor in mom’s house somewhere if we look hard enough?” (I don’t know why I said that but it was funny to me.)

You need to take it serious when you’re looking for a doctor for your loved one. That’s one of the most important things I talk about in my courses/systems:

NEW LEARN THE SECRETS OF THE MOST SUCCESSFUL WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/bipolarmastersystem/

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

Whether you are looking for a boy/girlfriend or a doctor, you are probably going to have to stretch — expand where you are willing to go.

Why?

Because it’s important, and you need to leave yourself options. You don’t want to have only one option and be stuck with that.

Can you imagine my friend having to be stuck with the first girlfriend he got matched up with just because he only left himself the radius of 5 miles? That would just be silly.

Or my mom picking a doctor only because he lived down the street and not because he was a good doctor?

What if he turned out to be a bad doctor, but she was stuck with him just because she limited her options?

Sometimes you just have to stretch a little bit, leave yourself more options, to get what you need.

It’s just plain the smart thing to do, don’t you think?

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME
Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

Hope you’re doing ok today.

Here’s an email I got recently:

“Dave- I have bipolar disorder, and I know my husband loves me and all, but I’m tired of him hovering over me all the time, like I’m going to have a bipolar episode in the next 5 minutes. I’ve been stable awhile now, and I’m doing what I should be doing and I know I could go into another episode I’m not denying that, but I hate the way he watches me so closely, I wish he would just relax and trust me sometimes. Anyway, thanks for listening. Donna.”
——————————————————–

Interesting email, and it does bring up some good points.

Although I do tell you to watch for triggers and signs and symptoms in your loved one so that they don’t go into an episode…

If they’re doing everything they’re supposed to be doing to keep themselves stable and they haven’t gone into an episode for a long time (not to say they won’t ever go into another one)…

You don’t have to hover over them so much that it makes them so uncomfortable, because they might come to resent you, or they might actually feel like you’re interfering with their stability.

There comes a time where you need to relax and trust your loved one.

In my courses/systems below, I teach about what to do to maintain stability:

NEW EARN THE SECRETS OF THE MOST SUCCESSFUL WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/bipolarmastersystem/

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

So if your loved one is doing these things, and has been doing them for a long time, you can relax a little bit and cut them some slack.

You need to trust them sometime.

If you don’t, you’ll burn out yourself!

If they are:

• Taking their medication
• Seeing their doctor
• Seeing their psychiatrist
• Seeing their therapist
• Getting the right amount of sleep
• Exercising
• Eating right
• Being productive
• Having hobbies
• Not isolating
• Not sleeping too much
• Not sleeping too little

Then I would relax and trust them more than you used to in the beginning.

It would sound to me as if they have a good handle on their stability.

And YOU need to take care of yourself!

You need to do the things that you need to do for yourself so that you can be there for them should they need you.

Now, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t still watch for PATTERNS of triggers, signs, and symptoms that may go on for awhile, because these could still indicate a bipolar episode.

This is just being a good supporter.

But just not on an hourly basis! : )

So relax and trust your loved one.

What do you think?

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME
Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

Hope you’re having a good day.

I hate those commercials that say, “You need to take this,” or “You need to do that…”

They make me feel like if I don’t do it, I’m being left out of something, or something bad is going to happen to me, you know?

But then I shake my head out of the advertising propaganda and remember it’s just that – they want me to feel that way.

It’s just an advertising ploy to get me to buy something I don’t really need or want, and I know I’m not going to die without it!

I’m also realistic.

I remember that what works for SOME, doesn’t necessarily work for ALL!

That’s why I’m so careful about what I put into my body, and what I recommend to other people.

Like I’ve been really criticized for my stand on “miracle cures” for bipolar disorder.

Come on, we all know that there’s no cure for bipolar disorder right now.

I wish there were, I really do, because I’d be the first one to tell you!

It would be the headline of my Bipolar News section on the website!

But that’s just not reality, and I don’t want you to get scammed.

And I have had people write to tell me about these “miracle cures” and how they did get scammed, enough to know that they aren’t true.

But I’ve also been criticized about how I warn people about supplements and natural remedies as well.

So let me get that straight.

I’m not into propaganda. I’m not selling any natural remedies or anything myself, so I have nothing to gain by this.

And even though I’ve been accused of this (I have no idea where this came from), I am NOT a representative of a drug manufacturer making millions of dollars on my website pushing drugs (I am not a millionaire, believe me – I don’t even take a salary!)

I just want people to know the truth.

I do discuss supplements and natural aids in my courses/systems. But I do it with a big warning to do it WITH your doctor’s knowledge and permission!

And always IN ADDITION TO and NOT INSTEAD OF your regular bipolar medication.

NEW LEARN THE SECRETS OF THE MOST SUCCESSFUL WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/bipolarmastersystem/

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

I have to acknowledge that these supplements and natural aids for people with bipolar disorder are out there, just like I have to acknowledge that these ads are out there for things I don’t need or want.

It doesn’t mean they’re bad OR good. I’ve heard they’ve helped some people, but I’ve also heard the opposite.

All I do is warn people that they should ALWAYS, ALWAYS CHECK WITH THEIR DOCTOR before trying any herbal or natural remedies.

In addition, remember that just because something worked for one person doesn’t necessarily mean it’s  going to work for you.

Think very carefully before you try something you’ve never tried before.

And always remember that “If something sounds too good to be true, it probably is.”

Some companies will try to take advantage of you, so be careful of that as well.

There is a saying that goes, “If it isn’t broke, don’t fix it.”

In other words, if your bipolar medication is working, don’t mess with it.

I don’t want to keep repeating myself, but I don’t think I could say this enough times:

THERE IS NO CURE FOR BIPOLAR DISORDER, natural or otherwise.

Don’t listen to any advertisement that tells you that there is, even if there are a thousand testimonials from people with bipolar disorder who supposedly were cured using this product!

Think about this fact: There is NO, and I repeat NO, natural product, supplement, aid, or “cure” for bipolar disorder on the market today that has been approved by the FDA!!!

That ought to tell you something right there!

That isn’t just David Oliver talking. That is the Food and Drug Administration talking!

Don’t fall for fancy advertising. Don’t feel like you’re missing out on something. Listen to your doctor.

Do what is working for you.

Stick to your treatment plan, and the systems that you’re following, and you can manage your bipolar disorder.

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME

Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

How are you?

I hope you are doing well.

Sorry the news is late again.

We have been having a bunch of technical problems. I am really sorry.

First my computer and now the news again.

Well the good news is, my computer is almost all ready to go and it looks like the bipolar news problem is fixed for good.

Again, sorry.

Here is today’s news.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews418

A Guide to Guardianship
DO> Great article, take a look.

People’s Pharmacy: Some Drug Companies are Facing Heat
DO> Hmm. What do you think?

Manic Symptoms in Bipolar Depression Linked to Drug-Induced Mood …
DO> Good article. Review when you can.

Telling Friends About Your Bipolar Illness
DO> Do you agree with this?

Mental Illness Education: Local Chapter Raises Funds, Awareness …
DO> This is great for society.

New Treatment Approach Needed for Management of Depression with Bipolar Disorder
DO> Interesting, what do you think?

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews418

==>Help with ALL aspects of bipolar disorder<<==

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:

http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

How’s it going?

I have had a ton of computer problems.

My lap top started dying and my computer Friend recommended that I simply transfer to a new one since I had a warranty.

I had so many problems. Yesterday before I made the change, it took me about 35 minutes to send one email.

That’s a long time : )

I think I have it all fixed finally. I was working on it until like 2:00am.

I actually used this backup service called Carbonite.com to transfer all the material. I highly recommend it for backing up your computer.

It saved me a ton of time and grief.

Well let me jump into this lesson today.

Did you know that you can change your mood at any time?

Your mood is a CHOICE.

Now, I’m not talking about the mood swings that come from the chemical imbalances of the bipolar disorder. You can’t help those.

I’m just talking about normal moods. The ones that everyone has.

The ones that supporters have.

Like you might be having a bad day.

You might still be stewing about something your loved one said or did the night before.

So you’re having a bad day today because of it.

Let it go!

There are some things you can change, and some things you can’t change.

What your loved one says or does is something you CAN’T change…

But your mood is something you CAN change.

You CAN control yourself.

You CAN control your own reactions.

And you CAN control your day.

Let’s go back to what your loved one said or did the night before.

Maybe you don’t think you handled the situation the way you would have liked to.

Maybe you’re still thinking about it, and wished you could have said or done something differently.

And now today you’re still stewing about it, and it’s affecting your mood.

But here’s the truth.

You CAN’T change yesterday!

What happened, happened.

And you can’t go back and change it.

You have to let it go.

So maybe you wish you did it differently.

If you learn from it, you can turn it from a negative into a positive.

Just like you can turn today’s mood from negative to positive.

That’s something I teach in my courses/systems below. That you can turn things from negative to positive. It all depends on your attitude, and understanding what you have control over, and what you don’t have control over. In my courses/systems below:

NEW LEARN THE SECRETS OF THE MOST SUCCESSFUL WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/bipolarmastersystem

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

You DO have control over your mood today.

If you’re in a bad mood, you can change that.

You can stop brooding about yesterday…

Just accept what happened…

Learn from it what you can…

Try to do it differently next time the same situation presents itself…

Let it go…

And make today a better day…

Just by changing your mood!

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME
Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

How’s it going for you today?

My today was horrible yesterday.

I have had a ton of problems with my computer.

I couldn’t even send an email yesterday.

I think I have finally figured the problem.

Anyway, let’s jump into today’s topic.

I have to tell you the funniest story.

I think I have the craziest friends.

This one friend of mine, her husband dumped a whole bunch of hot grease down their kitchen sink, and when it hardened, of course it clogged up all the pipes and they couldn’t use the sink at all.

Well, they tried drain opener three times. No luck.

Then they tried boiling hot water and dish detergent with grease cutter another three times with no luck.

Finally, her husband had to get under the sink, take out the trap, and manually pull out all the hardened grease by hand, then scrub out the remaining grease.

Ugh. I sure wouldn’t want to do that. Well his wife (my friend) made him, because he caused this problem in the first place!

Well, all my friend did was laugh as she was telling me this story, and when I asked her why she didn’t get mad over it, she said:

“Because it’s a man thing.”

“What’s a man thing?” I asked (being a man, I wanted to know).

“You know,” she said, “One of those things you guys can’t help doing, just because you’re a man.”

And I felt about this big, you know?

And I know this is kind of a funny way to bring this up, but it made me think of the stigma attached to mental illness.

I talk about stigma in my courses/systems below:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

Stigma is like what my friend was doing – She was taking men and generalizing about all of them.

Like saying that every man is the same, just because he is a man.

And men do “man things.”

(whatever those are)

So…

Like the stigma society has against mental illness, they think that everyone with a mental illness is “crazy.”

Then, of course, they have their own definition of “crazy,” too.

Some of them, believe it or not, even think they can “catch” bipolar disorder from you!

Because they don’t see the distinction between one mental illness from another.

They are all the same.

Just like my friend thinks that all men are the same.

And I know she’s not the only one, either.

There are a lot of people in society that are still scared of people with bipolar disorder, unfortunately.

They’re scared because they don’t know enough about the disorder to not be scared.

The only thing we can do is educate them about it.

That’s why I’ve got the website, and I’m trying hard to get out information to people about bipolar disorder, so they’ll understand it more, and there won’t be so much stigma surrounding it.

And hey, what IS a “man thing,” anyway?

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME
Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.