Bipolar Supporter Blog

Hi,

I hope you’re having a good day.

You know I like to hike, right?

It’s where I do some of my best thinking.

And, usually, that’s about bipolar disorder, of course.

But I was hiking the other day and thinking about the staggering numbers of people who have the disorder, are supporting someone who does, or know of someone who has it.

And the numbers are staggering.

Then I was thinking about the difference between people when it comes to bipolar disorder.

I hear from a lot of people in response to my daily emails, courses/systems, website, etc.

And it’s almost like they’re divided in half.

Half the people are really struggling with it, and the other half seem to have mastered it.

Well, maybe mastered it is the wrong way to put it – but they control and manage the disorder instead of it controlling or managing them.

These are the people I like to hear from, because they have that “fighting attitude.”

And that’s what you have to have when it comes to bipolar disorder – a FIGHTING ATTITUDE.

I talk a lot in my courses/systems about what it takes to become stable with bipolar disorder, and that’s one of the things, I believe.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

There are those people who take the diagnosis lying down, just like in a boxing match where you throw in the towel and give up.

They don’t believe that stability is a possibility for them.

Those people don’t do the right things, so they don’t get stable.

But have you ever known someone who no matter what happens to them, they fight back?

Like cancer survivors.

I think it’s all in having a “fighting attitude.”

They don’t take it laying down – they fight back!

And many of them do win.

Even a doctor will tell you that your attitude towards your illness (whatever it is) can be crucial to your recovery.

Well, that’s as true for bipolar disorder as it is for cancer.

You’ve got to come out of your corner fighting.

That’s the way to control it.

Of course, just like any fight, you have to be prepared.

You have to have strategies.

You have to have plans in place.

And you have to have these things in advance, just like an army does in a war.

Like, you need to sit down with your loved one and decide what to do in case they need to go in the hospital.

Strategies would include:

• A better lifestyle

• Eating a healthy diet

• Exercising

• Keeping a good sleep

schedule

• Staying productive

• Attending a support group

• Having a strong support system

• Adhering to all treatment

Those who look at battling bipolar disorder as just that – a battle – and are willing to do what it takes to win, do find success.

It is possible to recover from the disorder.

I know, because I’ve gotten so many success stories.

But all success stories have one thing in common:

They did whatever they had to do to gain stability, including those things I just listed.

They had a “fighting attitude.”

Do you have a “fighting attitude?”

Hi,

How’s it going?

Bill, a friend of mine, has a mother with bipolar disorder.

She didn’t find it out until recently, either, and she’s in her 60’s.

It took a major episode that put her in the hospital to find out her diagnosis.

She got put on the right medication and is seeing a therapist now, and is very stable.

In fact, she’s getting married!

But here’s the most important thing –

The man she’s going to marry knew that he had to learn more about bipolar disorder .

He recognized that that would be a necessity if he was going to marry her and be her supporter.

He even got my supporter course, and said that it helped him immensely to understand her.

More than that, he said that he has more confidence in his own ability to take care of her (and her bipolar disorder) in the way that he needs to.

I hear the same thing from many supporters who get my courses:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

Bill’s mom also read my survivor’s course so she could learn more about her own disorder.

Not just because I wrote them, but I do believe that these courses give both the supporter and their loved one the information they need to fight this battle together.

Look at it this way –

If you just found out you had a lifetime illness (which bipolar disorder is), like diabetes or something like that, you would want to know everything you could about it.

I think Bill’s mom and the man she’s going to marry are going to get off to a very good

start.

I was also told that they’ve been “best friends” for six years already!

Whether you have bipolar disorder or not, that’s the way to go.

Bill also has the disorder, and he and his wife are best friends as well. He says it helps get through the rocky times when just plain love isn’t enough.

Now, Bill’s wife Betty is a good supporter.

She knew when she married Bill that his bipolar disorder was a major thing that they would have to contend with, because they’d also been friends for many years before they got married.

Sometimes, as a supporter, if you’re married to someone with the disorder, you may have to take a step back and be “friends first.”

When things get really difficult, try to think of your loved one as a friend first, someone you’re trying to help.

It can make things easier.

Sometimes a married couple can get so caught up in the marriage part that they forget that they were friends first.

What I’m talking about is a mindset here.

Try being a friend to your loved one and to treat them like you would any other friend.

Just taking that one step back can help you see things in a different light.

I’m not saying to discount your feelings or anything.

You can still feel the way you feel.

But by taking the attitude of a friend, you may be an even more effective supporter.

It will help you both to stay on the same team, too.

With the same goal – stability for your loved one.

Sometimes, as a friend you can be more patient than otherwise.

Try this approach and see if it makes a difference in your relationship.

Hi,

How’s it going?

I hope you’re having a good day.

Here’s a funny question for you:

Do you ever yell at your computer?

I do.

Like the other day, I was trying to get it to do something, and it just wouldn’t do it!

So I started yelling at it, like, “You know you can do this! Do it for me!”

I thought I had lost a document I was working on.

So of course it’s not my fault, it’s the computer’s fault, right?

And yelling accomplished what?

Just that if anyone had walked by and saw me yelling at my computer, they would think there was something wrong with me!

Here I am yelling at an inanimate object, like it could really hear me.

What I was really doing was taking out my frustrations on the computer.

I ended up finding what I was looking for, but then I felt silly that I had yelled at the computer.

And yelling got me nowhere.

It sure didn’t help my problem, did it?

It just got me all frustrated.

It’s like those people on the road who yell at other drivers.

Do you think they really hear them?

Of course not.

But the person yells anyway, out of their own frustration.

It doesn’t solve their problem, either, just like my yelling at my computer didn’t solve my problem.

I know a lot of people who do yell at their computers, though! 

So what does yelling at my computer have to do with bipolar disorder?

Well, it’s about two things:

1. Taking your frustrations out on

others

2. How you solve your problems.

In my courses/systems, I teach how to

solve your problems in an effective way:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

For example, here’s a different way of looking at your problems:

Instead of thinking which would be the right way to handle them and which would be the wrong way…

You think instead in terms of what would be most EFFECTIVE.

So let’s go back to my problem with my computer.

Was it an EFFECTIVE problem- solving technique for me to yell at it?

No. It got me nowhere.

Was it EFFECTIVE to take my frustrations out on it?

No. That also got me nowhere.

It wasn’t until I approached the problem with what skills I had and tried different things to solve the problem that I got what I wanted.

Ok, here’s an example for you:

Say your loved one is wanting to stop taking their medication.

Everything in you says you just

want to yell at them…

To just tell them to take their medication.

No ifs ands or buts.

If you speak out from a point of frustration, you probably won’t get anywhere except to make yourself more frustrated, and maybe even start a fight with your loved one.

So that’s definitely what you don’t want to do.

The more EFFECTIVE thing to do would be to stay calm and talk quietly to your loved one.

Tell them that you’re concerned.

Maybe even remind them of what might happen if they do go off their medication.

If they’ve gone off it before, you might want to remind them of that.

You could nicely remind them that it’s the medication that’s keeping them stable.

You might try several different things – whatever is effective for you and your loved one.

But if you come from a place of frustration, or if you yell at them, that wouldn’t be effective at all.

It’s just like those drivers who get mad and yell at other drivers.

What have you done to effectively solve your problems?

Do you agree that getting frustrated doesn’t get you anywhere?

Hi,

How’s it going?

I hope you’re having a good day.

There is no doubt that we are in a recession, and that it’s on everyone’s minds.

Many people are skimping back because of it.

If they have two cars, many are going down to one car.

If they have a big house, they are selling it to move into a smaller one.

Those who usually take a vacation are skipping it this year for lack of money.

People are trying hard to hold onto their jobs, but some people have lost them anyway.

Then they are forced to skimp on things.

People who used to eat out a lot aren’t doing that any more – they just can’t afford it.

People who used charge cards, especially, are finding that they have to skimp on using them, because it’s hard to pay the bill when it comes.

More people are changing the way they handle their finances.

They are skimping on things they don’t need.

Because of our economy, many people have been forced to make changes in their lifestyles.

But if you or your loved one has bipolar disorder, there are certain things you can NOT afford to skimp on.

Many people with the disorder are getting worse, not getting stable, and going into episodes.

Do you know why? (scroll down for answer)

Do you think it’s because they want to?

Do you think it’s because they are forced to?

I’ll tell you the answer.

They are skimping on their medications.

Mary did this –

She cut down on her medications to try to save some money.

The next thing she knew, she was in a manic episode.

And then do you know what happened?

She started spending money excessively because of the mania.

So she ended up with just the opposite of what she wanted.

Now she owes even more money, and is still struggling financially to pay for her medications.

But do you know what the worst thing Mary did was?

She played doctor for herself.

She never checked with her doctor before messing with her medications.

You can skimp on eating meals out, because you can always cook at home.

But medications are something that you just can NOT skimp on.

In my courses/systems, I stress how CRUCIAL it is for you to stay on your medications, no matter what:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

There are other options.

For example, if you explain to your doctor that you are having financial problems, he might be able to give you samples of medication.

If you have to pay for your doctor, psychiatrist, and/or therapist visits, you may be wanting to skimp there as well, and put off appointments.

But if you tell them what is happening, they may be able to put you on a sliding scale or work out payments with you.

Are you skimping on what counts?

Try to find other alternatives.

PLEASE FORWARD TO YOUR FRIENDS

Hi,

Here’s the bipolar news. Enjoy.

To read this week’s news visit:

http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews443/

Stigma Surrounding Mental Illness Remains Despite bundant Pharmaceutical Ads

DO> This is soooo true.

Health Matters: Treating Mental Illnesses

DO> Good article for you to review. You should know all this already however 🙂

Bringing Bipolar into the Light

DO> Great article.

Mentally Ill Offenders Strain Juvenile System

DO> This is completely true. Scary article.

Act Early on Bipolar Disorder in Children and Adolescents

DO> Everyone with bipolar disorder who is an adult says this is the key.

Thyroid Hormone Helps Treatment-Resistant Bipolar Depression

DO> Interesting article, take a look.

For these stories and more, please visit:

http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews443/

==>Help with ALL aspects of bipolar disorder<<==

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:

http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

How’s it going?

I hope you’re doing ok today.

Do you remember a book or song awhile back called, “I Never Promised You a Rose Garden”?

Well, someone I was talking to said that when she was little, every time she would complain, or say that something wasn’t fair, her father would say to her, “Did someone promise you a rose garden?”

When it comes to bipolar disorder, did someone promise YOU a rose garden?

Probably not. Because there sure isn’t one, is there?

And if you are complaining about having the disorder, or that it isn’t fair, I would say to you exactly what this girl’s father said to her: “Did someone promise YOU a rose garden?”

Complaining about having bipolar disorder will not get you anywhere.

It’s like a car stuck in a muddy rut.

You can keep hitting the gas all you want, but you won’t get anywhere, will you?

Those tires will just keep on spinning.

But do you know if you put wooden slats over the mud, and if you ask for some help, you can probably get out of that rut?

Here’s the key phrase in that:

“…if you ask for some help…”

You see, the fact is that you do have bipolar disorder, and you can’t do anything about that.

You have no control over that fact.

But there are some things you can do to control the disorder.

Like asking for help. That is something you CAN do.

In my courses/systems, I talk about how important it is to have a strong support system, and how to build one.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

There are other things, important things, you can do to control your bipolar disorder as well.

You don’t have to sit around and do nothing.

You don’t have to complain about it.

You don’t have to let the disorder have control over you – YOU can control IT.

But you cannot be passive.

You MUST take action on your own behalf.

Be objective for a minute.

Think about what you would do if you were someone else who has bipolar disorder.

Perhaps someone in your bipolar support group?

What things would you do if you were them?

First of all, you would take your medication, wouldn’t you?

Without your bipolar medication, you would go into an episode, and maybe even DIE!

So you can take your medication to control your bipolar disorder.

That’s something you can do for yourself.

What else could you do to take control?

Well, you could go to your appointments – always, and on time.

Seeing your doctor, psychiatrist and therapist is an important part of taking control over your bipolar disorder.

Another thing is that you’ve got to get and stay healthy.

I know that doesn’t sound like a big point, but ask anyone with bipolar disorder what it’s like to have the disorder and be physically sick as well. You DON’T want that!

If you already have physical disorders (such as diabetes or high blood pressure) on top of your bipolar disorder, make sure you get those under control as well.

Then make sure you are eating a healthy diet and exercising.

The diet is important, because many bipolar medications cause you to gain weight, so you want to eat a healthy diet to control your weight, as well as to stay healthy.

Exercise is important because it keeps you healthy, but it also has an added benefit especially for people who have bipolar disorder: exercise stimulates endorphins in the brain, which help with depression. That’s why exercise makes you feel so much better!

And you can control your disorder by controlling your sleep patterns. This is very important, as too little sleep can lead to a manic episode, and too much sleep can be a sign of a depressive episode.

No, no one ever promised you a rose garden when it came to bipolar disorder.

But you CAN control the disorder, instead of IT controlling YOU.

Have you found other ways to control your bipolar disorder other than those I’ve listed?

I’d love to hear about them.

Hi,

Hey, how’s it going today?

You know, I get a lot of emails and calls asking me some of the same questions, and so those are the ones I try to write to you about.

One of the questions I get asked about most often is what to say and what NOT to say to your loved one when they’re in a bipolar episode.

I got asked this by one woman especially one time, because she said that everything she said seemed to be the wrong thing, that everything seemed to make her husband mad at her.

Well, maybe you feel the same way.

Maybe the same thing is happening to you.

If so, know that this is a common thing that happens when someone who has bipolar disorder goes into an episode.

So how do you know what to say and what NOT to say then?

I can tell you from my own experience with my mom, as well as from what I’ve learned from talking to other supporters and what they’ve written to me and told me.

For example, you should never tell your loved one in an episode that you know how they feel.

This is one comment that can make them angry at you.

The truth is that you do not have bipolar disorder, so there is no way that you can truly know how they feel.

It would be better if you said something like:

“I can understand that you might be feeling [ ] right now…”

And insert a word like frustrated, or angry, or resentful, or hurt, or whatever feeling you have noticed or think that your loved one may be feeling.

This way you’re acknowledging their feelings, but you’re not antagonizing your loved one, either.

Especially if you stay calm and say it in a soft voice.

You’re showing your support and understanding, but you’re not assuming anything either, which is what makes them mad at you.

In my courses and systems, I talk about the negative feelings that your loved one may feel during a bipolar episode, and how you can know what they are, so that you can be supportive of your loved one during these times.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

Another thing you should never say to your loved one during an episode is, “You could just snap out of this if you wanted to,” or something along those lines.

I know you can get really frustrated waiting for your loved one to come out of their episode, but this is still not the right thing to say, even if you have to bite your tongue.

I know I did, when my mom was in her episodes.

I kept thinking things like, “If she loved me, she would stop this behavior,” or, “If she would just try harder, she could come out of this episode,” and things like that.”

But I realized that she WAS trying, and that she was NOT doing this to me personally!

If you say these things to your loved one, you’ll be making a mistake.

These types of comments can truly make them mad (hurt them) because, well, think of yourself in their shoes.

If it were you, don’t you think if it were that easy, that you would do it?

It isn’t that easy. That’s why your loved one is struggling.

You need to be more loving, supportive and understanding.

Try saying something like:

“I know this is a hard thing for you to be going through, but I just want you to know that I’m here for you.”

Your loved one may say things like, “Just leave me alone!”

Or even something as terrible as, “I hate you!”

My mom did that, too.

But you can’t take it personally.

It’s just part of their bipolar episode.

Have you ever found yourself in a situation when your loved one was in an episode and you felt like everything you said was the wrong thing?

Have they gotten mad at you for it?

What did you do?

Hi,

How are you today?

I hope you’re doing fine.

Have you ever known a real complainer?

The type of person who has nothing good to say about anyone or anything?

Who couldn’t get along with anyone? (or at least not for very long, before they became critical of them).

Who would say things like, “Life isn’t fair.”

Or that someone else wasn’t fair to them, or they were in an unfair situation.

Someone who always blamed everyone else or everything else.

Who had a lot of unsolved problems?

Did it seem to you that they might be their own biggest problem?

I know someone like that.

My friend’s ex-girlfriend.

Now, I’m not a doctor, and I can’t diagnose anyone, but in my opinion, this girl showed every sign of having bipolar disorder.

She had terrible mood swings, for one thing, and that was obvious, even to someone who didn’t know anything about bipolar disorder.

She called me once to complain about my friend.

At first she talked like she really loved him, but the next minute she was blaming him for all her

problems.

Not just that, but she keeps getting into trouble in all aspects of her life –

Her family, friends, co-workers, etc. – she has conflicts with them all.

They think there is something wrong with her, but she denies it, blaming everything on them.

But think about it.

Do you think everyone else is wrong and that she is the only one who is right?

It usually doesn’t work like that.

If that’s the case, if everyone else is saying the same thing, she should stop and listen to them.

They can’t all be wrong.

Maybe they don’t know if she has bipolar disorder or not, but they do know that something is wrong with her.

Otherwise she wouldn’t have all the problems that she has.

But she is in denial, for sure.

In my courses/systems, I talk about denial and what you can do about it:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

You may have faced this with your loved one, at least in the beginning.

Many people with bipolar disorder will be in denial when they’re first diagnosed.

They would rather blame someone or something else.

Like they would say it’s just stress from work that’s making them act this way.

Or, if it weren’t for [whoever], I wouldn’t act this way.

That’s blaming, and it NEVER helps someone with bipolar disorder to get better.

In order to get better, you have to stop blaming other people and other things for your own problems.

If you are having conflicts with most of the other people in your life, you have to consider that the problem is YOU, and not them.

You can’t change anyone else, but you can change yourself.

If you or your loved one are already on medication, but you’re still having too many problems, you may need a medication adjustment.

If you suspect this is the case, then you need to contact your doctor.

You may not have even been noticing these things about yourself, but other people have been pointing them out to you.

If so, you probably need help, because they can’t all be wrong and you be right.

Have you noticed the things I’ve talked about happening in your own life?

Hi,

I hope this is a good day for you.

I actually have to go to New York today. The good news is I am taking supposedly a short cut. 99% of the time I take short cuts they turn into long cuts. Hopefully not today : )

Anyway, I am going to a seminar to learn some things to help reach more people dealing with bipolar disorder.

Before I got, I wanted to talk about why I am stopping daily emails on Saturdays and Sundays.

Basically sending the daily email takes a ton of time. People think it’s done by someone else, a company or a computer program. It’s done by me.

Over I think three years, I have never taken a day off from doing it.

The daily emails require a lot of thought, creativity, planning and setup.

So, if I skip these two days it will give me some well needed rest and also allow me to work on other stuff that goes along with building and managing this fast growing organization.

After much thought and talking to a whole lot of people, we agreed this is the best decision.

This doesn’t mean however that I will never send an email on Saturday or Sunday. If there

is something really important I will.

If you have any question in this, please post them on my blog below.

Okay enough with that, now on to today’s topic.

There’s a funny joke about two men that I just have to share with you.

One man is telling the other one about all his problems, detail by detail, going on and on with his

sad story, complaining… and then complaining some more.

Every time the other man thought the first man was going to stop, he would go on about another problem he had.

Until the second man just lost his patience.

So he stomped on the first man’s foot, really hard.

“Ouch!” the first man said, “Why did you do that? That really hurt!”

“Well, said the second man, it got you thinking about something other than your problems for a minute, didn’t it?”

———————————————————-

It’s sort of a funny way to get into today’s topic:

A different way of looking at your problems.

Because obstacles and problems are just a part of life, for all of us.

Some people just pretend they don’t exist – they try to totally ignore them (but, of course, the problems don’t just go away – in fact, they get larger).

Others just complain about their problems – to anyone who will listen.

Some procrastinate their problems until they have a mound of them, and then they’re totally overwhelmed by their problems.

And still others expect someone else to solve their problems.

But the single element connecting these four types of people is that they take NO action to solve their problems.

Effective problem-solving is crucial to healthy living itself, much less living with bipolar disorder.

That’s why I teach it in my courses:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

Then there is the person who proactively solves their problems.

They are solution-oriented.

Of these people came the saying, “The impossible just takes a little longer.”

These are the type of people that might try the problem-solving approach I want to teach you today.

The principle comes from “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff,” by Richard Carlson, M.D.

I read this, and thought it was an absolutely revolutionary way to look at our problems!

Read what he says:

“True happiness comes not when we

get rid of all of our problems, but

when we change our relationship

to them, when we see our problems

as a potential source of awakening,

opportunities to practice patience,

and to learn.”

That’s what I want to talk about today.

Obviously we can’t solve all our problems.

But we can solve most of them.

But we have to take a different approach toward them.

Ignoring your problems, pretending they don’t exist, procrastinating them, complaining about them, or expecting someone else to solve them for you is just not realistic.

If you do any of those things, you will find that your problems will multiply and NEVER get solved until you finally decide to take action on them.

But let’s talk about this new approach to solving your problems –

Carlson’s idea of having a relationship to your problems.

I’ve also heard it called “owning your problems.”

It’s the same principle.

What the principle is, is taking responsibility for your problems.

Then, it’s your approach to your problems.

If you look at your problems as an opportunity for growth, a chance to learn, then you’ll have a positive approach to solving them.

You won’t be so intimidated by them, and then you can be in control of them, instead of them being in control of you.

Then you can be proactive, and be an effective problem-solver.

How do you approach your problems?

Are you an effective problem-solver?

Have you grown by overcoming the obstacles and problems that you’ve faced in your own life?

Hi,

I hope you are doing great!

I talked to a bunch of bipolar supporters recently.

We were having a good talk, and I learned a lot of things about the way they were coping with

their loved ones’ bipolar disorder.

But I also noticed that they were making 5 big mistakes.

And I wanted to pass on these 5 big mistakes onto you, to make sure that you’re not making them, too.

1. Doing nothing and hope the

problem fixes itself

Year after year, my dad thought like this.

He always thought that it would work itself out.

He ignored things that were indications that my mom was getting worse and worse – things that he should have noticed, before things got out of control.

He didn’t do anything, because he thought the problem (my mom’s “condition,” or the bipolar disorder) would fix itself.

He honestly thought mom would get better without him having to do anything about it.

That has got to be the number one mistake.

That’s like ignoring the elephant in the living room.

Bipolar disorder is NOT going to go away by itself.

You HAVE to do something about it in order for your loved one to get better.

2. Reacting instead of being proactive

My dad always let bipolar disorder run the show so to speak.

He never knew what to do, because he didn’t know enough about the disorder to help my mom.

Now, because I have taught them, my mom is in charge of her bipolar disorder, instead of IT being in charge of HER.

That’s why I teach in my courses/systems below that having knowledge of bipolar disorder is one of the most important things you have to do:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

If you don’t have KNOWLEDGE of bipolar disorder, how can you fight it?

If you don’t realize what you’re up against, you will be reactive instead of proactive, just like my dad was.

He just plain didn’t know what to do, so my mom got out of control.

Then when she went into the worst episode of her life, he had to react to the situation and take drastic measures and put her in the hospital.

I’m not just picking on my father here, I see other supporters making the same mistake.

You need to learn as much as you can about the disorder and about your loved one’s symptoms,

so that you can be proactive, and head off an episode before it becomes full-blown.

3. Not realizing how serious bipolar disorder

can be.

Just like I was just saying about having to put my mom in the hospital, my dad didn’t realize

how serious bipolar disorder can be.

If he had realized it was something that could actually make my mom that out of control, I think he would have taken it more serious much earlier than he did.

Bipolar disorder is a very serious disorder.

It can destroy families. It can destroy lives.

And supporters need to realize how devastating an illness bipolar disorder can be, and how dangerous it can be for their loved one.

Some supporters don’t take it serious enough, until they’re sitting in a hospital waiting room,

like my dad.

4. Trying to change your loved one, looking

for a quick fix

Many supporters are looking for a quick fix.

I don’t blame them. Many of us do, when we’re faced with a difficult situation.

But you have to understand that you can’t change your loved one – they can only change themselves.

Getting stable takes time – it will NOT happen overnight.

It will take patience on your part as a supporter to wait for your loved one’s treatment (medication and therapy) to work.

There is no quick fix to recovery from bipolar disorder.

5. Not realizing your loved one can be “normal”,

stable and successful

Yet, along the same lines, some supporters give up too soon.

They think that their loved one will never get stable, and this is just as big a mistake.

NEVER give up hope on your loved one.

With your help and support (and a lot of work on your loved one’s part), there is ALWAYS hope

for stability and recovery from bipolar disorder for your loved one.

Just like I said before, it won’t happen overnight, it will take time, and there will be set-backs and probably more episodes before it happens, but your loved one CAN become stable, normal,”

and successful.

My mom did it!

Have you noticed yourself making any of these 5 big mistakes?

How do you see them happening in your life?