How’s it going?
I hope you’re having a good day.
Here’s a funny question for you:
Do you ever yell at your computer?
Like the other day, I was trying to get it to do something, and it just wouldn’t do it!
So I started yelling at it, like, “You know you can do this! Do it for me!”
I thought I had lost a document I was working on.
So of course it’s not my fault, it’s the computer’s fault, right?
And yelling accomplished what?
Just that if anyone had walked by and saw me yelling at my computer, they would think there was something wrong with me!
Here I am yelling at an inanimate object, like it could really hear me.
What I was really doing was taking out my frustrations on the computer.
I ended up finding what I was looking for, but then I felt silly that I had yelled at the computer.
And yelling got me nowhere.
It sure didn’t help my problem, did it?
It just got me all frustrated.
It’s like those people on the road who yell at other drivers.
Do you think they really hear them?
Of course not.
But the person yells anyway, out of their own frustration.
It doesn’t solve their problem, either, just like my yelling at my computer didn’t solve my problem.
I know a lot of people who do yell at their computers, though!
So what does yelling at my computer have to do with bipolar disorder?
Well, it’s about two things:
1. Taking your frustrations out on
2. How you solve your problems.
In my courses/systems, I teach how to
solve your problems in an effective way:
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
For example, here’s a different way of looking at your problems:
Instead of thinking which would be the right way to handle them and which would be the wrong way…
You think instead in terms of what would be most EFFECTIVE.
So let’s go back to my problem with my computer.
Was it an EFFECTIVE problem- solving technique for me to yell at it?
No. It got me nowhere.
Was it EFFECTIVE to take my frustrations out on it?
No. That also got me nowhere.
It wasn’t until I approached the problem with what skills I had and tried different things to solve the problem that I got what I wanted.
Ok, here’s an example for you:
Say your loved one is wanting to stop taking their medication.
Everything in you says you just
want to yell at them…
To just tell them to take their medication.
No ifs ands or buts.
If you speak out from a point of frustration, you probably won’t get anywhere except to make yourself more frustrated, and maybe even start a fight with your loved one.
So that’s definitely what you don’t want to do.
The more EFFECTIVE thing to do would be to stay calm and talk quietly to your loved one.
Tell them that you’re concerned.
Maybe even remind them of what might happen if they do go off their medication.
If they’ve gone off it before, you might want to remind them of that.
You could nicely remind them that it’s the medication that’s keeping them stable.
You might try several different things – whatever is effective for you and your loved one.
But if you come from a place of frustration, or if you yell at them, that wouldn’t be effective at all.
It’s just like those drivers who get mad and yell at other drivers.
What have you done to effectively solve your problems?
Do you agree that getting frustrated doesn’t get you anywhere?