Bipolar Supporter Blog

Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews477/

Here are the news headlines:

Hard Times Linked to Rise in Mental Illness Reports
DO> I totally agree with this, don’t you?

Helping a Youth Who Bullies Others
DO> What do you think of this article?

Wholesale Sedation of Young Children: Medically, Morally Indefensible
DO> Do you agree or disagree. You know many disagree.

Does BP Help Make You a Target for Bullying?
DO> This is a very interesting article, don’t you think.

The Seduction of Hypomania
DO> Great article.

Knowing and Understanding the Different Types of Depression
DO> This is good for those who don’t understand the different kinds.

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews477/

==>Help with ALL aspects of bipolar disorder<<==

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi, how are you? I hope you’re fine.

I have a funny true story to tell you:

A friend of mine was in a fender bender (small accident). This other man hit her car on a back road because he came around the corner too fast and she was just turning onto the street, so he tried to pass her, and ended up hitting her front end.

Right away he got out of his car complaining about his back, and blaming the accident on my friend. He was so vocal about his “hurt back,” that he even told the witnesses and the police about it.

But here’s where he made his mistake and what makes this story so funny: My friend told him she thought her car was leaking transmission fluid.

So he said, “Hang on, let me take a look.” And he easily bent under her car to see if there was damage.

Can you imagine how embarrassed he was when he straightened up and saw that everyone was staring at him with a “Sure, you’ve got a bad back” look?

He did try to sue my friend for his back anyway, but she came to find out that he was suing someone else for the same thing at the same time!

See, our society has gotten lazy. Many people just go straight to a lawsuit against someone (or some company) instead of taking some responsibility themselves.

Blaming thinking is what has gotten our society to the place where attorneys who specialize

in personal injury lawsuits make quite a lot of money, with no lack of clients. Yes, being responsible is harder than being lazy, but you still need to do it.

Blaming thinking is like these types of thoughts:

Something is missing, so someone else must have moved it (instead of taking responsibility that you may just have misplaced it).

The car isn’t working right, so the mechanic must not have fixed it properly (instead of thinking that maybe something else is broken and needs to be fixed).

Your expenses are more than your income, so your loved one must be spending too much money (instead of taking responsibility for your part in the excessive spending).

The house is a mess, so your loved one is not doing their part (instead of accepting just as much responsibility as them for keeping the house clean).

A project at work is late, so your co-workers must not have done their part (instead of accepting responsibility for your part of the project).

It’s easier to blame someone else than it is to accept your own responsibility. That’s why we have a society full of blamers. Blaming thinking can be very hard on you if you’re trying to deal with bipolar disorder.

Especially because it’s very easy to fall into the habit of blaming every problem on the bipolar disorder itself. If your loved one is doing this, it can prolong their recovery. They must take responsibility for their bipolar behavior and its consequences if they’re going to get better.

I’m not saying that everyone is this way, but I think many of us, if the truth be told, do it at some

point.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi, how’s it going? I hope you’re having a good day.

I was talking to this guy at the gym the other day, and it really affected me. We were talking about the economy. He believes that everything is going to be fine, like, tomorrow or next month.

Well, I read the news and expert opinions all the time on all kinds of things, so I know that’s not true. So I told him so. He got really mad, and started to defend his position. I, of course, defended mine.

Well, guess what happened?

Nothing.

Nothing happened.

Nothing was accomplished.

He couldn’t change my mind, and I couldn’t change his. It was a total waste of time.

Your loved one may have told you some things that you don’t agree with, but fighting about it would be a waste of your time, too. It would help if you try to see things from their point of view.

For example, if they say that you never listen to them, you better really hear that, because they’re

saying a lot there. They could be feeling neglected, frustrated, angry, anxious, stressed, or any number of negative feelings that, if not taken care of, can put them into a bipolar episode.

So you really have to try to see their point of view.

First of all, reflect back to them what they have said to you – this shows that you’re actively listening.

For instance, you can say: “I hear that you feel like I never listen to you, but can you give me

some examples?” Then it is their responsibility to give you specifics. Then examine the specifics. Ask yourself if you really do all these things? Again try to see it from their point of

view.

Like, say they say that whenever they try to talk to you, you keep staring at the TV. So you examine it, and see that it is true. Then from now on, when they talk to you, turn to face them. This shows that you are actively listening.

You need to develop this habit. Because otherwise they could go into an episode because you didn’t heed the warning when they were trying to tell you.

Your loved one may be stable today, but you need to always be on guard for an episode anyway. Sometimes they can come out of seemingly nowhere.

The point is, always try to see your loved one’s point of view. Don’t waste your time arguing

about it, when there may be something you can do to fix the problem.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

How’s it going? Hope you are doing great.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews476/

Here are the news headlines:

Widely-Used Screening Scale Misidentifies Borderline Personality Disorder as Bipolar Disorder
DO> Great article, take a look.

Child Psychiatrists Embrace Videoconferencing Telepsychiatry
DO> Wow, do you think this is a good idea?

Is Celebrity Soul-Baring Spreading Depression?
DO> What do you think of this article?

Reform could Change Health Care Delivery
DO> Are you for or against this?

Bright Light Therapy Box for SAD, Depression, Bipolar Disorder and Sleep Problems
DO> What do you think of this?

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews476/

==>Help with ALL aspects of bipolar disorder<<==

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi, how is your day going? I hope it’s a great one.

You know about my little goddaughter, right? Well, I think one of the greatest toys they ever invented for kids was building blocks. Yep, building blocks. Simple. Easy. But it can keep them busy for hours!

She builds these tall towers out of her building blocks, and you should see her go. Nothing interrupts her concentration when she is building one of her towers. Of course, sometimes the

blocks fall down before she’s completed her tower, but she doesn’t abandon her mission! She just starts over and starts building her tower again! She builds it as high as she is, sometimes, before it falls!

But you should see her when she’s building it… She is focused… She is quiet… No distractions… She is concentrating… And she is persistent.

That’s the name of the game when it comes to bipolar disorder, too – you must be persistent if you want to get stable or help your loved one to reach stability.

Do you have persistence when it comes to your bipolar disorder? When your “tower” falls down sooner than expected, do you just start building it again?

Like say you’re on a new medication. And it has some side effects. Do you abandon it completely? Or do you call the doctor and tell him about the side effects so that he can tell you what to do?

What if somebody says something you don’t like at your support group? Do you quit going altogether, scrapping the whole notion of going to a support group just because one person said something you didn’t like? Or do you have the persistence you need to keep going to that support group no matter what, because you need it?

What if you do go into an episode? Do you feel like it’s the end of the world? Like you’ll never get better? Like all your work toward stability (like my goddaughter building her tower) was all for nothing? Do you just give up? Or do you latch onto your persistence with everything you’ve got and build that tower – fight that bipolar episode?

You’ve got to have persistence if you’re going to beat this thing. It’s not always going to be easy.

But you CAN do it!

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

How’s your day going?

I hope it is a good one.

Have you ever wondered if there was a single thing you could do to make recovery easier for your loved one? Well I’m certainly not going to claim that there is a cure-all, but there is something you can do to make things easier on your loved one as they work on recovery.

Wondering what I’m talking about?

Consistency.

When a person has bipolar disorder, it can seem like nothing in life is consistent. After all, even their moods aren’t! Can you imagine what that must feel like?

If we can be that one consistent thing in their life, wouldn’t we want to be? If we can provide any form of consistency in their life, wouldn’t we want to? Of course we would!

Now the real question is: how? How can we provide consistency in our loved one’s world, when everything else seems so hectic?

Well, one of the ways we can do so is to stay calm when we are responding to their different moods, and even their crisis situations. The more we can regulate our own moods, the more we can help them learn to regulate theirs. After all, most of us learn by example.

Not to mention that if we can regulate our own moods, then they will know ahead of time how we will react to things. Believe it or not, this can make all the difference in the world.

If we can be a constant source of calmness, while still being a source of reason and encouragement, then they will know that we are going to be a source of help no matter what. The calmer we are, the more we can help them through their struggles, and they are aware of this also (even if they don’t understand it on a conscious level.)

Another thing we can do to be consistent is to be a constant source of reason for them. After all, when they are in a manic state, they cannot provide their own reason. But if we provide it for them, then they know what to expect from us the next time.

Then they will know that they can come to us when they are not sure that they can trust their own judgment. This is crucial for them. After all, they have to have someone to go to when they are manic and cannot think clearly on their own accord.

Part of their recovery process is to learn to go to someone for advice, even when they are manic. If we can be that person that they trust to go to, and we can follow through with practical and sound advice, then we can truly help them through their recovery.

Another thing we can do to be consistent is to constantly be a source of encouragement. This is true all of the time, but especially when they are depressed. That is to say, they need encouragement the most when they are depressed. But that is not the only time that they need encouragement.

Also, if we can provide them with encouragement all of the time, then they will know that they can come to us when they need it. Wouldn’t it be great if our loved ones knew that they could come to us when they needed encouragement? That is most likely to happen if they are familiar with our encouragement. And they will be most familiar with our encouragement if they hear it a lot.

Now, our encouragement needs to change, of course, when they are in different moods. After all, the same encouragement won’t be effective when they are depressed as it was when they were manic. The same encouragement won’t be as effective when they are finally in a normal state as it was when they were in a mood swing.

When they are manic, we can encourage them to come to us or someone else they trust so that we can act as a sound mind for them. We can also encourage them to try to control their actions no matter how they may feel while manic.

When they are depressed, we can encourage them to get up and do something, despite how they may feel. We can encourage them to keep going, even though it may seem like there is no point in doing so. We can even encourage them by reminding them that there is still things worth living for.

When they are in a normal state, we can encourage them to follow their recovery plan so that they can stay in that state for longer than they might have otherwise.

Regardless of what state they are in, encouragement is a thing that can be helpful in their lives, especially if it is a constant thing.

Consistency is a thing that can help our loved ones in their recovery process, and we can show them that consistency by encouraging them, being a voice of reason, and staying calm. Wouldn’t you want to be the one constant thing in their life?

What do you think?

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi, how’s your day going? I hope it is a good one.

I had a good day today. I went to a class on disability awareness, and they did an interesting demonstration to show us how it felt to have a disability.

First they had us try on glasses that had been painted black, and carefully walk around the room. So we got a small taste of what it is like to be blind.

Then they put earplugs in our ears and had us try to understand what other people were saying, just by reading their lips. So we got to understand what it might be like to be deaf.

Then they did something that I didn’t expect. They gave us mirrors and told us to put them next to our papers, so that we could see the paper in the mirror. Then they told us that we could only look in the mirror to see what we were writing. This was a very difficult task. When we were done, they told us that this was a small taste of what it was like to have dyslexia.

These were great exercises, and it was wonderful that it was promoting disability awareness.

It got me thinking: what would it be like to look through the eyes of someone who has bipolar disorder? Is there some trick I can do that would show me even a little bit of what it’s like? I don’t think there is anything that could be done to show exactly what it’s like, but maybe there are things we can think about, that will help us to understand better.

Bipolar disorder is a disorder that is based on a person’s moods. How many moods do we have throughout a day? I mean, if we were really to count exactly how many times our moods change in a day, what number would we end up with?

Most of the time, we don’t react to all of our moods. Our moods change a little when we see a sad commercial, or think of a funny thought, or get irritated by something that we know isn’t that big of a deal. These little moods usually get ignored as we go about the rest of our day.

What would happen if we had a pressing urge to act out each of those emotions? We would end up in tears every time that sad commercial came on the television. We would laugh hysterically at that funny thought, even though no one knew what we were laughing about. Every time we got irritated, even by something little, we would become angry, maybe even irate.

How would we handle this turmoil of emotions? Sometimes it is easy to think that if we had the disorder we could do better. But could we really do any better than our loved ones already do?

Many of our loved ones have learned to adapt to the change of their moods. They may have learned to follow their treatment plan so that they can live the best life that they can. They may have learned who they can go to for help when things get out of hand. There are many things that they do to adapt.

Could I have done better? I have to say I don’t know.

I am just so glad that there is hope for a good life when their treatment plan is followed. I am so glad that I can be part of my loved one’s life and support system.

What would it be like to see things through your loved one’s eyes?

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi, how’s your day going? I hope it is a good one.

Have you ever heard those jokes – the ones where two people walk into a bar? Two therapists walk into a bar. The first says, “Do you come here often?” The second says, “Only on my crazy days.”

These jokes are usually funny, but there’s something to be said of them, too. There are always two people interacting with each other.

Interaction can be a healing time for anyone, helping them regain perspective on the world and on themselves. It can be a time to make new friends or to enjoy spending time with the ones you already have. It can even be a time when a supporter gets to finally be supported themselves.

Everybody needs it. Unfortunately, not all supporters get the interaction they need and deserve. Sometimes we let ourselves forget about our own needs when we’re too busy focusing on the needs of our loved one.

Did you know it’s very difficult to take care of anyone else if you don’t take care of yourself first?

Interaction can help in many ways. It can give you feedback on what you could be doing better as a supporter. Spending time with friends and family can give you the strength to go back to your loved one with the patience and care you want to show them. You can learn things from interaction better than you can from being alone, both things about yourself and things about the world around you.

It can be a time to focus on yourself and on how you can enjoy life. It can be a time to grow in the different aspects of yourself and your life. It can even be a healing time when you feel hurt or alone. Friends and family can help you know you are loved and appreciated and that you have a shoulder to cry on when you need it.

Even basic interactions are helpful. Ever stood in line at the grocery store and the person ahead of you started talking to you about the price of groceries? Or maybe the weather? This may be “small talk” and may seem irrelevant, but it can still be a good thing. It gives you a chance to talk to someone that you will probably never meet again about things that you may or may not be interested in.

It is a good time to practice your interpersonal skills. We all need practice at them, even if it is just to keep up the skills we already have.

Interaction is also important with you and your loved one. If all you ever talk about is their illness, then it can be exhausting for both of you. If you make the effort to enjoy time well spent with them, it can help ease tensions and give you both the skills you need to deal with their illness.

Want to know a secret? It may even be fun.

Interaction is good for your loved one, too. When they get a chance to interact with other people they can get feedback on their behaviors which can help them learn to counteract their symptoms. They may have heard from you a hundred times or more that they are being jittery and not paying attention. But when they hear it from someone else they may realize that it is true.

There are times when you need to be apart from your loved one. Maybe you can interact with your family and friends so that you can refresh yourself to deal with them better when you get back to them. There are also times when it might be a good idea to bring them with you, so you can both enjoy some time with each other and with other people. These can both be good opportunities to fulfill your needs as a person and to get feedback on your thoughts and actions.

Have you ever wondered what it would be like if you were in one of those jokes? A person with bipolar disorder and their supporter walk into a bar.

What happens next? Do they meet new people? Do they enjoy a couple glasses of orange juice and exchange punch lines? Ultimately only they can decide.

Only you can decide if your choose to interact with people and meet your own needs.

There are many ways to do so. What are the ways that you can interact with people today?

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

How’s it going? Hope you are doing great.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews475/

Here are the news headlines:

Special court aims to keep mentally ill out of jail
DO> Do you think this is good or bad?

Counselors use life experiences to help
DO> Great inspiring article

Over-Diagnosis of Bipolar May Harm Children
DO> I agree, do you?

Three years later, no second thoughts from Rebecca Riley’s psychiatrist
DO> What do you think of this?

Bipolar Disorder – Is Your Brain Shrinking?
DO> Do you think this is true?

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews475/

==>Help with ALL aspects of bipolar disorder<<==

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave