Hi, how is your day going? I hope it’s a great one.
You know about my little goddaughter, right? Well, I think one of the greatest toys they ever invented for kids was building blocks. Yep, building blocks. Simple. Easy. But it can keep them busy for hours!
She builds these tall towers out of her building blocks, and you should see her go. Nothing interrupts her concentration when she is building one of her towers. Of course, sometimes the
blocks fall down before she’s completed her tower, but she doesn’t abandon her mission! She just starts over and starts building her tower again! She builds it as high as she is, sometimes, before it falls!
But you should see her when she’s building it… She is focused… She is quiet… No distractions… She is concentrating… And she is persistent.
That’s the name of the game when it comes to bipolar disorder, too – you must be persistent if you want to get stable or help your loved one to reach stability.
Do you have persistence when it comes to your bipolar disorder? When your “tower” falls down sooner than expected, do you just start building it again?
Like say you’re on a new medication. And it has some side effects. Do you abandon it completely? Or do you call the doctor and tell him about the side effects so that he can tell you what to do?
What if somebody says something you don’t like at your support group? Do you quit going altogether, scrapping the whole notion of going to a support group just because one person said something you didn’t like? Or do you have the persistence you need to keep going to that support group no matter what, because you need it?
What if you do go into an episode? Do you feel like it’s the end of the world? Like you’ll never get better? Like all your work toward stability (like my goddaughter building her tower) was all for nothing? Do you just give up? Or do you latch onto your persistence with everything you’ve got and build that tower – fight that bipolar episode?
You’ve got to have persistence if you’re going to beat this thing. It’s not always going to be easy.
But you CAN do it!
Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
Post responses below
I work at it everday. some times I fill like I am in a sinking boat. Your words help out alot when I try to understand or dealing with my wife”s illness. You talk about a plan to go by. What is this plan you talk about? Ilove my wife very much, it is hard, she will not believe when I tell her that I’M here to help her and surply her needs. YOUR WRITINGS DO HELP COPE WITH HER ILLNESS. THANK YOU DAVID
Thenk you for words of encouragement.That is tru, averytime I dicadet to built tower it would collapse mostly on the beginning .It would discourage me from doing that agine for sometime, then I would start agine with thesome resalt. Now I’m much stronger , more determine and motivate then ever and for first time I reali bealive I can bult very high tawer, please keep suporting me nowbodyelse does.
Mariola
My son is 42 and diagnosed 10 years ago. He has been good about taking meds until recently. The meds he was on last year were causing liver damage. The doctors changed all his meds. The new ones are now effecting his liver. He made a comment that he considered doing his own thing. I think that means booze and pot.
The situation is that he has been living me for the last year since he lost his full time job. He has been working for a temp agency which keeps him busy most of the time. I feel he could move back out on his own if he found something low in rent. Of course anything he could afford is not good enough for him. The year that he has spent with me has had lots of moments of hell for me. When he has an episode, he can find no good with me and has called me every name in the book. He triss to run my life, will throw out my things if they are in his way or he feels I don’t need it. I don’t want to be home yet can not stay away as I have to go through the trash every time I return. Je never talks about the episode and never, never takes responsibility. I have told him he is welcome to move out if he is not happy here. He has said that when he does move the only reason he would come back is to burn down the house. It is up to his standard. I live in a neighborhood where the houses are nearing 100 years old.
I am the only family member that has had his back. I have taken classes and would like to be a facilitator for future classes. My situation right now is that I am considering just walking away from my home and everything just to get away from this. I am willing to help someone who is willing to help themselves. Right now he is helping himself to everyone else’s generousity. I no longer have any idea how to help him.
I do not know where he and the illness are separate or one. He has a daughter that he treats fine and is very much invested in her best interests. He can treat strangers like long lost friends yet treats the people who support him like dirt. I don’t know if his manipulation is coming from the illness contolling him or if he has learned that he can use the illness to scare other. I am at a loss as to what to do next. And he is considered a highly functional bi-polar. My heart and prayers go out to others who are supporters. It is not easy no matter how much information you have.