Hi,

How are you doing?

I’ve got to tell you about the funniest thing that happened.

You know how we’re taught to follow directions from the time that we’re a child, right?

But you also know that it’s typical for men not to follow directions. I mean, women complain about that all the time about men.

Not me – I follow directions (I learned the hard way).

But my friend?

He’s a typical macho type man – no following directions for him.

He went to put this toy together for his kid.

I thought it looked really complicated and, like I said, I would’ve followed the directions (all 3 pages of them!).

So he’s putting together this toy, which had like a gazillion pieces to it.

So I said, “Are you sure you don’t want to follow the directions?”

And he said, “Dude. I know what I’m doing.”

An hour later, sweating and swearing…

I asked him, “Are you sure you know what you’re doing?”

He just grunted at me.

Another hour and a half…

Still sweating but no longer swearing, my friend pronounced the project done.

I looked at all the leftover pieces doubtfully, but didn’t dare say a word.

You’ll never guess what happened (well, maybe you will). Scroll down to find out.

Keep scrolling…

Almost there…

The minute his son touched the toy, the whole thing fell apart! LOL

It was hilarious (at least to me)!

This time I couldn’t resist saying something, so I said, “Dude. Maybe you should have followed the directions.”

It was funny to me, but it sure wasn’t funny

to him.

But he brought it on himself by not following the directions.

There are times when it is crucial that you follow the directions.

With your medications, for example.

Sometimes they can be very confusing.

The directions might say to take it four times a day, or every four hours.

So you might wonder when to take it, or question if you have to take it at night.

But you can (and should) ask the doctor or pharmacist to clarify the directions for you, because it’s imperative that you take your medications right.

You have to follow directions, or you may not have a positive outcome, like my friend.

Like in my courses/systems, which give you directions on how to reach stability.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

You need to do what your doctor and other professionals tell you to do.

They’re looking out for your best interests, and they know from experience what works best for people who have bipolar disorder.

That’s why they give you directions, and you need to follow them if you want to get better.

There are pieces to stability, just like there were pieces to my friend’s project.

And you need to follow the directions to get the pieces all put together right.

Are you someone who follows directions?

Hi,

I hope you’re doing ok today.

You know, as a child you are completely dependent on your parents for everything.

They provide for all your needs.

But then you grow up, and you are no longer dependent on them.

That’s what growing up is – Becoming independent.

But one problem that supporters of loved ones with bipolar disorder tell me they have is that their loved one is too dependent on them.

But it may be their own fault, if they are solving all their loved one’s problems for them, or making things easy on them.

This may even be a sign of codependency, which is one of the things I talk about in my courses/systems:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

Having your loved one be too dependent on you is something you do NOT want.

But here’s some surefire ways to make them dependent on you:

1. Give them their medication

2. Take them to all their doctor,

psychiatrist and therapist visits.

3. Tell them when to go to bed

and when to wake up.

4. Make all their meals and snacks.

5. Make a To-Do List for them and

then help them complete the tasks

or do them yourself.

6. Handle ALL the finances yourself,

without them knowing anything

about them, even when they are

NOT in an episode.

7. Force them to exercise.

8. Drive them everywhere they need

to go, even if it’s just to the store.

9. Make excuses for their behavior.

10. Cover up for them.

11. Don’t make them take any responsibility

for anything.

12. Do everything for them.

If you do these things, I guarantee that your loved one will be totally dependent on you.

And that is something you do NOT want.

Your loved one needs to take responsibility for themselves if they are going to get better.

Stability is not something you can achieve for them.

As a supporter, you naturally want to be a good one and to help your loved one.

But they are not a child, and should not be totally dependent on you.

They need to do as many things as they can for themselves.

They need to work toward their own stability.

If you do all those things I listed, you will probably experience supporter burn-out, and then where would your loved one be?

Where would you be?

Not very healthy yourself.

Take for example, the medication issue.

Even if your loved one complains about having to take their bipolar medications, it is still something they should do for themselves.

You shouldn’t be giving them their medication – that would be doing something for them that they can do for themselves.

In order to attain stability, your loved one MUST take responsibility for themselves.

Not just in taking their medication, but in other areas as well, like I listed before.

You want your loved one to be independent.

That’s one of the biggest steps toward stability for them.

When your loved one is not in an episode, when they are in a normal period, they should be totally capable of taking care of themselves and, therefore, taking their own responsibility.

They still need you as a supporter, but they shouldn’t be totally dependent on you.

For example, you can still make a To-Do List for them, but they should be the one doing the tasks.

It’s part of being productive, which your loved one needs to be.

I know you care about your loved one, but you can NOT make them totally dependent on you – it’s not good for either of you.

Have you noticed ways where your loved one is still too dependent on you?

Do you agree with me that they should NOT be?

Hi,

How’s it going for you today?

Today I want to talk about CHANGE.

There’s this sort of anecdote that talks about how a woman married a man for who he was, then immediately started changing him into who she wanted him to be.

Then she wasn’t happy, because he was no longer the man she married!

It’s supposed to be funny, but there is a ring of truth in it.

As a supporter, you are many things to your loved one.

You wear many hats, so to speak.

So it’s important that you keep your sense of identity because of it.

You have to stay fundamentally “you,” or you may fall into the

CHANGE TRAP

Many supporters with loved ones who have bipolar disorder do fall into this trap.

In my courses/systems, I talk about change, and what is good change and what is bad change:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

The Change Trap is when you are so frustrated with your loved one and their bipolar disorder, specifically when your loved one is not well, that you try to change yourself to change the situation.

But the trap has you believing that by your changing, your loved one will get better, which is NOT true.

There’s a difference between changing to adapt to a situation (i.e., learning to adapt) and actually trying to change yourself to change the situation.

When it comes to bipolar disorder, you cannot change the disorder. It is what it is.

When it comes to your loved one, you cannot change them. They are who and what they are.

It’s like the Serenity Prayer:

Lord, grant me the serenity to

accept the things I cannot change

Courage to change the things I can

and wisdom to know the difference

Yes, you have control over yourself.

Yes, you have the power to change yourself.

But the other things you can’t change, no matter how hard you try.

See, there is good change and there is bad change.

Good change is when being a supporter to a loved one with bipolar disorder brings out the caretaker in you, and you become a super supporter.

Bad change is changing yourself to try to change the bipolar disorder.

The change trap might also cause you to change yourself to try to prevent a situation (like trying to prevent episodes, which are going to happen anyway).

This can come from past episodes, where you may have thought, “If only I were more attentive [understanding, supportive, a better listener, etc.], my loved one wouldn’t have gone into this episode.

Then you start overcompensating by being overly-attentive, etc.

Bad change is letting guilt cause you to change yourself.

Changing yourself might cause problems in your relationship as well – Like in that anecdote.

Your loved one accepts you for who you are.

They do not expect you to be someone you’re not.

If you change too much (even though your motive is to please your loved one), they may feel that you’ve become a stranger to them, and then you may have problems with the relationship in general, and communication specifically.

Your loved one may feel that they can no longer talk to you or open up to you, which can cause further problems.

You need to stay fundamentally YOU.

You can change to adapt to the situation (good change), but not change who you are (bad change).

What do you think of this idea?

Do you think there is such a thing as good and bad change?

PLEASE FORWARD TO YOUR FRIENDS

Hi,

Sorry the news is late. We had a technical problem.

With that said, here’s the news.

To read this week’s news visit:

http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews454/

Here are the news headlines:

Man Who Suffered from Bipolar Disorder has Book Published

DO> Sounds like good book. Haven’t read it yet.

NBPF Develops Preventative Care Program Called ‘Safe ’til Stable’ for People Impacted with Bipolar Disorder

DO> Sounds like great idea.

Funding Supports ADA Technologies’ Development of Home Monitor for Bipolar Disorder

DO> Hmm. Sounds really worth while, don’t you think.

…Antipsychotic Drugs Spur Dramatic Weight Gain in Kids

DO> This is a sad side effect of medication.

An Illness Even Sadder When it Affects Teens

DO> This is really the truth. The good news is, today there are way better treatments than when my mom was growing up.

For these stories and more, please visit:

http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews454/

==>Help with ALL aspects of bipolar disorder<<==

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:

http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

How’s it going?

I hope you’re having a good day today.

You know we’re in a recession.

Everyone knows we’re in a recession.

But there are some people that blame everything on the recession.

Whatever goes wrong in their life, they complain that it’s because of the recession.

Basically, these are people who would complain anyway, recession or not.

They blame all their problems on something else.

They have a bad attitude.

A doom and gloom approach.

A negative approach to life in general, and their problems in particular.

And if you try to encourage them or give them advice, they may even turn on you!

These people continually have problems, because they don’t have active solutions.

They just complain, but don’t do anything about their situation.

But it doesn’t have to be that way.

YOU choose your attitude.

YOU choose your approach to life and your problems.

YOU choose how you handle things that come against you.

In my courses/systems, I call this being proactive.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

If you determine that you aren’t going to let bipolar disorder run your life, it won’t.

If you choose to have a positive attitude, you will.

If you decide that you are going to take control of the disorder instead of letting it take control of you, you will.

It’s all in your attitude, and in being proactive.

See, some people just react to everything that happens to them.

Those are the type of people I was talking about earlier.

There’s a saying:

“Life is 1% what happens to

you and 99% your reaction to

it.”

These people react in a negative way.

You need to be different.

You need to react to life and the things that come against you in a positive way.

I’m not saying that you won’t have any problems (everyone has problems), but a positive attitude

will help you to solve them.

Being proactive with bipolar disorder is “taking the bull by its horns,” and taking control of it.

You take the approach that you can manage the disorder.

You look at the different things you can do to accomplish that.

You look at all your choices.

You make good choices.

And you make good decisions, because you have looked at all sides of it.

If you are a supporter, being proactive with your loved one’s bipolar disorder means that you

are alert for any signs and symptoms of an episode and prevent it from ever getting started.

And being proactive in your life means that you are in control of it.

Do you agree with me?

How do you approach your or your loved one’s bipolar disorder and your life?

Hey,

I just got back in from volunteering tonight.

Anyway, I wanted to send this out yesterday.

I have a brand new dvd that I am giving away.

It’s called:

The Ultimate Home Business Starter Kit.

It’s for Bipolar Supporters AND Bipolar Survivors.

You might be wondering why I am sending this out?

Well it’s simple. I have had tons and tons of people ask me about ways to increase their income from home. Both bipolar survivors and bipolar supporters.

Anyway, if you are interested, you can get it here:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/uhb/

See you tomorrow morning.

Dave

Hi,

How’s it going for you today?

I hope it’s going good.

I want to share an email I got with you:

“Dave, it’s so hard being a supporter

to someone who has bipolar disorder,

but you already know that. I’ve always

tried to look at things in a positive way,

to the point that I earned the nickname

the Eternal Optimist. Still, it’s so hard

to be an optimist when you’re facing all

the things that bipolar makes you face.

Sometimes my sister goes through times

where she is just like she used to be,

and we’re really happy during those times.

But when she goes into an episode, she’s

like a totally different person. She’s had

so many problems with her medications,

and she just can’t seem to stay stable for

very long.

She’s even gotten in trouble with the law,

and other things, because of her episodes,

and the rest of the family won’t even

have anything to do with her any more.

But as hard as it is, I just can’t desert her.

See, even though I know there’s no cure for her,

I do believe that she can get better. Sometimes

she shows signs of it, and those are the times I

hang onto. She has a hard time believing she’ll

ever get better, though, and sometimes I just don’t

know what to do to encourage her. Do you have

any advice? Linda”

———————————————————

The Eternal Optimist.

Linda sure sounds like one, doesn’t she?

Well, I believe we can all learn a lesson from her.

She’s right about there being no cure, unfortunately, and that’s true, but in my courses/systems, I teach you how to cope and deal with bipolar disorder in spite of it.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

Bipolar disorder is a very cunning and baffling disorder.

Many people with the disorder do lose their family and friends because of it.

They have to deal with consequences of their episodes, like this woman’s sister, and that can be rough.

Sometimes the consequences are pretty bad.

I’m sure you know what I’m talking about.

There may have been times that you wanted to give up on your loved one, too, because sometimes it just gets so hard to deal with them.

That’s a normal feeling for a supporter.

But to Linda, and to you, my best advice is:

NEVER GIVE UP.

Yes, there’s no cure for bipolar disorder, but there is treatment for it.

And if your loved one adheres to their treatment, they have the best chance at stability.

And they WILL get better.

Like the sister, however, it may take time to find the right medications, so you may have to be patient during this process.

Just never give up.

Don’t give up hope for a cure.

Don’t give up hope for your loved one to get better.

And don’t give up on your loved one.

That’s probably the most important thing for a supporter to do.

And sometimes one of the hardest.

But if you had read as many success stories as I have, you would know that it IS possible to recover from bipolar disorder.

It’s not easy.

And it is a process.

And all processes take time.

But it will help your loved one so much if they know that you believe in them and that they will reach stability.

Wouldn’t you like to be like the Eternal Optimist?

Then NEVER GIVE UP.

Bipolar disorder CAN be defeated!

Hi,

How are you today?

I hope you’re having a great day!

I was thinking about this saying I’ve heard before, though I don’t know who originally said it.

It says:

“Insanity is doing the same thing

over and over again expecting

different results.”

I want you to think about that.

Because I want you to answer:

Are you sane or insane?

In other words, do you keep doing the same things over and over again, thinking that maybe

this time they’ll work?

Do you keep making the same mistakes over and over again?

And each time expect your loved one to respond differently.

If you are doing that, then technically you follow the expression, and you are insane!

The good news is, you can change things!

If you’re doing something for your loved one and no matter how many times you’ve done

it, it hasn’t worked, you need to try something new.

For example, if during their manic episodes, they blow all the money in the checking

account…

And each time you “forgive and forget,” you may be enabling them to keep on with the same

behavior.

On the other hand, what would happen if you sit them down between episodes and show them what they do/have done with the finances…

Then propose something different, like you having control of the finances.

What if you showed them the credit card statement and suggested that they don’t carry credit cards around with them?

That’s doing something different.

I talk about alternative ways to handle your loved one’s behavior in my courses/systems:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

Many supporters don’t do this because they are afraid…

Or they don’t think they have the power…

Or they are intimidated by their loved one and/or their disorder.

Or maybe they haven’t even seen it as a problem…

Or maybe they don’t see any other way to do things.

Well, let me tell you –

There is always another way to do things.

Have you tried everything you can?

As a supporter, have you tried everything you can think of to help your loved one?

If you really believe you have done EVERYTHING…

Then your loved one should be stable.

But if they are still not stable right now, there are still things you can do to help them.

What you need to do is take out a sheet of paper and brainstorm ideas of how to do things that

aren’t working, differently.

Say your loved one is not taking their medication (which is a very common problem).

You usually get into a fight over it, because you want them to take it.

The next time, instead of arguing, try something different.

For example, you can use the statistics from the National Institute on Mental Health to sway them.

Show them an outside opinion on what happens with people who have bipolar disorder and go off their medications.

If you can’t find it on the Internet, I will just tell you:

According to NIMH, 20% (1 in 5) people with untreated bipolar disorder will kill themselves.

Maybe your loved one will respond to that and other statistics that you can find on the NIMH

website.

Maybe just telling them how concerned you are about them and them not taking their medications will be enough for them to take it.

But fighting is not the way to do it, especially if that’s the way you always do it.

You need to break the cycle, whatever the behavior.

Brainstorm.

Try to come up with new things to try, or different ways to do the things you do.

Hi,

How’s it going?

I hope you’re fine.

I wanted to write you something important.

There was a big fight in the gym between two people.

One a democrat and one a republican (democrat and republican are political parties in the U.S., for those outside the country that are reading this.).

One argued Obama is doing too many things that are not related to the main goal which should be to fix the economy (i.e., getting jobs).

The person arguing for Obama said he has to work on all these things at the same time and you can’t just focus on one.

(NOTE Obama is the President of the United States)

Some say President Obama is doing too much.

Okay, we’re not going to get political.

And if you are wondering, I am an independent, neither republican nor democrat.

But my friend who thinks Obama has done too much too fast brings up a good point for bipolar disorder.

You have to decide what is important and not important.

There are times, you have to work on many things at the same time.

Find a good doctor, therapist, make sure you keep your job if you are a supporter, handle bills, etc. etc.

In my courses/systems, I go over the elements that make a successful supporter:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

Ask yourself:

Am I doing too much for my loved one?

Am I not doing enough for my loved one?

Some people will disagree with you either way, so this is just your opinion of yourself.

Here’s my point of view:

I don’t think you can do too much to support a loved one with bipolar disorder, UNLESS…

(this is how you’ll know you’re doing too much)

1. You do things for them that they

can do for themselves.

2. You make them dependent on you

3. You become an enabler

4. You are codependent

5. You have no life outside the home

6. You focus on the disorder too

much

7. You don’t have any outside

activities

8. You don’t have your own support

system

9. You are your loved one’s only

supporter

10. You don’t ever do anything that

you enjoy (or be by yourself or

with your own friends)

I know your heart is in the right place, or you wouldn’t be a supporter to your loved one.

It’s obvious that you do care.

But do you care too much?

Being codependent means seeing more to your loved one’s needs than to your own.

Seeing to your own needs, physically and mentally is crucial to being a good supporter.

Ask yourself the hard questions.

Am I doing enough for my loved one?

Am I doing too much for them?

There needs to be a balance.

Hi,

How’s it going? I have to get going pretty quick. I’ll catch up with you next week.

Here’s the news.

To read this week’s news visit:

http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews453/

Here are the news headlines:

Mental Illness: The Stigma of Silence

DO> Great article. Take a look.

Glenn Close and Family Tackle Stigma of Mental Illness

DO> Another great article.

When Bipolar Illness Meets Grief: Kay Redfield Jamison on Becoming a Widow

DO> This is one of the earliest authors writing on bipolar.

Insurer Decides on Treatment

DO> What do you think of this article?

Schizophrenia and Bipolar Disorder: Bridging the Divide

DO> Great article that explains two difficult illnesses.

For these stories and more, please visit:

http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews453/

==>Help with ALL aspects of bipolar disorder<<==

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:

http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave