How’s it going?
I hope you’re fine.
I wanted to write you something important.
There was a big fight in the gym between two people.
One a democrat and one a republican (democrat and republican are political parties in the U.S., for those outside the country that are reading this.).
One argued Obama is doing too many things that are not related to the main goal which should be to fix the economy (i.e., getting jobs).
The person arguing for Obama said he has to work on all these things at the same time and you can’t just focus on one.
(NOTE Obama is the President of the United States)
Some say President Obama is doing too much.
Okay, we’re not going to get political.
And if you are wondering, I am an independent, neither republican nor democrat.
But my friend who thinks Obama has done too much too fast brings up a good point for bipolar disorder.
You have to decide what is important and not important.
There are times, you have to work on many things at the same time.
Find a good doctor, therapist, make sure you keep your job if you are a supporter, handle bills, etc. etc.
In my courses/systems, I go over the elements that make a successful supporter:
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Am I doing too much for my loved one?
Am I not doing enough for my loved one?
Some people will disagree with you either way, so this is just your opinion of yourself.
Here’s my point of view:
I don’t think you can do too much to support a loved one with bipolar disorder, UNLESS…
(this is how you’ll know you’re doing too much)
1. You do things for them that they
can do for themselves.
2. You make them dependent on you
3. You become an enabler
4. You are codependent
5. You have no life outside the home
6. You focus on the disorder too
7. You don’t have any outside
8. You don’t have your own support
9. You are your loved one’s only
10. You don’t ever do anything that
you enjoy (or be by yourself or
with your own friends)
I know your heart is in the right place, or you wouldn’t be a supporter to your loved one.
It’s obvious that you do care.
But do you care too much?
Being codependent means seeing more to your loved one’s needs than to your own.
Seeing to your own needs, physically and mentally is crucial to being a good supporter.
Ask yourself the hard questions.
Am I doing enough for my loved one?
Am I doing too much for them?
There needs to be a balance.