Huge Fight in Gym and Bipolar Lesson


How’s it going?

I hope you’re fine.

I wanted to write you something important.

There was a big fight in the gym between two people.

One a democrat and one a republican (democrat and republican are political parties in the U.S., for those outside the country that are reading this.).

One argued Obama is doing too many things that are not related to the main goal which should be to fix the economy (i.e., getting jobs).

The person arguing for Obama said he has to work on all these things at the same time and you can’t just focus on one.

(NOTE Obama is the President of the United States)

Some say President Obama is doing too much.

Okay, we’re not going to get political.

And if you are wondering, I am an independent, neither republican nor democrat.

But my friend who thinks Obama has done too much too fast brings up a good point for bipolar disorder.

You have to decide what is important and not important.

There are times, you have to work on many things at the same time.

Find a good doctor, therapist, make sure you keep your job if you are a supporter, handle bills, etc. etc.

In my courses/systems, I go over the elements that make a successful supporter:







Ask yourself:

Am I doing too much for my loved one?

Am I not doing enough for my loved one?

Some people will disagree with you either way, so this is just your opinion of yourself.

Here’s my point of view:

I don’t think you can do too much to support a loved one with bipolar disorder, UNLESS…

(this is how you’ll know you’re doing too much)

1. You do things for them that they

can do for themselves.

2. You make them dependent on you

3. You become an enabler

4. You are codependent

5. You have no life outside the home

6. You focus on the disorder too


7. You don’t have any outside


8. You don’t have your own support


9. You are your loved one’s only


10. You don’t ever do anything that

you enjoy (or be by yourself or

with your own friends)

I know your heart is in the right place, or you wouldn’t be a supporter to your loved one.

It’s obvious that you do care.

But do you care too much?

Being codependent means seeing more to your loved one’s needs than to your own.

Seeing to your own needs, physically and mentally is crucial to being a good supporter.

Ask yourself the hard questions.

Am I doing enough for my loved one?

Am I doing too much for them?

There needs to be a balance.

  1. david

    i have been trying to get the free course that i signed up for but it keeps having errors on the page or the url just doesn’t go anywhere

    can you help me

    david a. naber
    po box 133

  2. I have always done too much for my bipolar children. They are grown up now and it has been very hard too stop.We are constantly trying as supporters to minimise their condition and the a\wful consequences.
    However I have started to get together more than usual with friends(I have neglected many over the years as bipolar has been so very time consuming).It is a relief for just a change of thought pattern to enjoy their company.
    I realise after many years that I cannot change things but only help to do my best.
    I have been on the edge many times and realised I had to put myself on my agenda. It is hard but it must be done.
    Try and get in touch with a friend and have time for coffee and cake.Keep it up and it helps you and your loved one who suffers.To all supporters out there you are truly wonderful people and to all sufferers of bipolar, we love you.

  3. Dear Dave,
    I have been an enabler to my daughters BP and I can say with experience it is one very hard habit to break. Now I have to deal with each event each problem one at a time ( a friend once said to me you can only eat an elephant one bite at a time.
    I believe each day I get a little better at it.
    I have slowly taken up some of the things I was interested in before Rachel got sick- like gardening and walking and writing its all beginnning to come back .
    Rachel has been stable for 6 months now.
    Don’t get me wrong, Rachel still has periods of what she calls her bad days where she can’t seem to get out of bed , she has periods of negativity where she tries to illicit negative response and reaction , but we have tools now to weather these dark moments.
    You are right Dave, I must be concerned about my own health and wellbeing as a supporter so Ive gotten back on the low colestrol eating for my heart and I’m walking my grandson to school every day.Aanyway our life may be quiet low key and routine- but it works for all of us : I love my daughter she is courageous and extraordinary.
    Thank you Dave for all of your timely opinion regards

  4. Hi Dave,
    I have been able to help my sons a lot more since I have been getting your emails I want to get the master system but I’m disabled and have to wait until I have the money to split the payments also I had ordered the report on sex and bipolar disorder and something happened when I paid for it it doubled the order so it was canceled and I have to reorder that also when I can and I hope I can still get the report that comes with it the intamacy one at times I may spend more time then I should but my son isn’t on meds yet he’s been trying to go the way of dealing with his pain from being in an auto accident and the county docters her are just unbelievable when you finally get done being sent to have tests after tests done then they have a new thing they are doing they send you to a pain clinic and then tell you that they are going to drug test you before they will give you any thing for pain and you must sign a paper alowing this or they won help you is this not against some kind of right or health law cause then they contrudicted them selves I don’t know how many times and I wouldn’t want thm in charge of my halth care they also drug test you every time you com back in for refills and charge 15.00 dollers for evey one after the first one these people don’t have the money to pay for that if you don’t test you don’t get your meds does anyone know who I can talk to this cat be legal it sure isn’t moral we have enough problems to deal with and they know my son is bipolar and they are dilibrately not taking care of him so he will go off my email is if any on can help me find some answers please help me

  5. Truthfulness on your part and on the part of others who deal with you is critical in dealing with all facets of any debilitation. In raising the Obama idiom here one must be aware of this fact and choose words carefully.

  6. Following your lead on mentioning the “job” our President is/is not doing, I’m GLAD you’re an Indepndent and make your own individual choices on candidates regardless of party. I’m a “dyed-in-the-wool” Republican, and can find MANY items for discussion if you’re up for it!! Just kidding…this is NOT the forum for political discussions, no matter how shallow or deep.

    Your “Ten Signs of a Burned-Out Supporter” are right-on!! As I serve as both the one WITH bipolar, as well as my own Supporter, I found most of these to be “helpful hints” on how to behave within the disability. They are ALL very important for Supporters as well as survivors; if everyone here would ask themselves if they display any of these tenets, then their compliance would be taken for granted, and they would become more and more stable. An excellent blog today, Dave!

    BIG HUGS to all bipolar survivors and those who love us. May God bless you real good. I pray for my country.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *