Hi,
How’s it going for you today?
I hope it’s going good.
I want to share an email I got with you:
“Dave, it’s so hard being a supporter
to someone who has bipolar disorder,
but you already know that. I’ve always
tried to look at things in a positive way,
to the point that I earned the nickname
the Eternal Optimist. Still, it’s so hard
to be an optimist when you’re facing all
the things that bipolar makes you face.
Sometimes my sister goes through times
where she is just like she used to be,
and we’re really happy during those times.
But when she goes into an episode, she’s
like a totally different person. She’s had
so many problems with her medications,
and she just can’t seem to stay stable for
very long.
She’s even gotten in trouble with the law,
and other things, because of her episodes,
and the rest of the family won’t even
have anything to do with her any more.
But as hard as it is, I just can’t desert her.
See, even though I know there’s no cure for her,
I do believe that she can get better. Sometimes
she shows signs of it, and those are the times I
hang onto. She has a hard time believing she’ll
ever get better, though, and sometimes I just don’t
know what to do to encourage her. Do you have
any advice? Linda”
———————————————————
The Eternal Optimist.
Linda sure sounds like one, doesn’t she?
Well, I believe we can all learn a lesson from her.
She’s right about there being no cure, unfortunately, and that’s true, but in my courses/systems, I teach you how to cope and deal with bipolar disorder in spite of it.
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
Bipolar disorder is a very cunning and baffling disorder.
Many people with the disorder do lose their family and friends because of it.
They have to deal with consequences of their episodes, like this woman’s sister, and that can be rough.
Sometimes the consequences are pretty bad.
I’m sure you know what I’m talking about.
There may have been times that you wanted to give up on your loved one, too, because sometimes it just gets so hard to deal with them.
That’s a normal feeling for a supporter.
But to Linda, and to you, my best advice is:
NEVER GIVE UP.
Yes, there’s no cure for bipolar disorder, but there is treatment for it.
And if your loved one adheres to their treatment, they have the best chance at stability.
And they WILL get better.
Like the sister, however, it may take time to find the right medications, so you may have to be patient during this process.
Just never give up.
Don’t give up hope for a cure.
Don’t give up hope for your loved one to get better.
And don’t give up on your loved one.
That’s probably the most important thing for a supporter to do.
And sometimes one of the hardest.
But if you had read as many success stories as I have, you would know that it IS possible to recover from bipolar disorder.
It’s not easy.
And it is a process.
And all processes take time.
But it will help your loved one so much if they know that you believe in them and that they will reach stability.
Wouldn’t you like to be like the Eternal Optimist?
Then NEVER GIVE UP.
Bipolar disorder CAN be defeated!
Post responses below
i need help i have Bipolar, ADD, Manic Depressive, And Severe Anxioety disorder. I have 2 young girls 4 and 10 i just lost my job of six years as a surgical technologist in brain and spinal surgery and my wife divorced me the same week, due to my illness im at rock bottom no money no help im dying inside i can feel it. Nothing is real HELP.
Dave,
I understand what you are saying, but this person I am a supporter to is not responding to any of my efforts to communicate with him. Yes he has asked me for the time to think over if he wants to stay in a relationship with me or not.I have been patiently waiting 6-7 days for him to get back to me.
I have been sending him caring and loving messages so he knows I have not walked away from him, but nothing seems to be helping. I know I should not let it hurt so deeply because durring an episode what is said is not always what is meant. But I have never put my all into a relationship as I have with this man. So do me a favor keep me in your prayers and hopefully he will find his way back to himself, me and us…
I am bipolar and have bee for all my life. Thanks to Linda for being so good to her. When I started taking Cymbalta it made a big diffderence. My manic moments and days don’t happen so often nor for as long and I almost never feel suicidal. To bring her out, try to talk about nomalicy and give her something to do. The other thing is to teach her to sleep when she gets manic. I feel like it’s giving up but I sleep for about three hours and it really helps. A schizophrenic friend showed me that. He’s dead now from cancer.
I believe in never giving up as well, I have always been the eternal optimist…but it’s really hard when you have a loved one that is still in denial of her illness.
My stepdaughter has a manic episode, deserts her family and starts using drugs and then gets help. Then reels us all back in while she’s taking her meds again for a few months and then decides she doesn’t need her meds. She stops taking them, goes into a manic episode, disappears, it’s a vicious cycle, and an emotional rollercoaster for all of us that love her.
After 8 yrs of this cycle, It’s really hard to stay optimistic. You begin to think shame on me for falling into her cycle every time…it would be so much easier if we just stayed out of her life, but how do you turn your back on someone you love, when you know she has this illness.
It’s a constant struggle!
hi linda i read your story and i can relate my family suffers bipolar and my friend sometimes hard to deal with like dave said NEVER GIVE UP!!! email if you like at rvbre9@aol.com god bless brenda
Dear Dave,
A little note to say I absolutely agree with you about the eternal opitmist about never giving up- I remember when I read those words of yours for the first time 18 months ago and was blind sided by the simple truth of them and today I shed a quiet tear .
Rachel did stabilize and has been satble for the last 6 .5 months I love my daughter.
so thank you for your emails Dave they are always inspirational
regards
Shona
Hi Dave & Everyone,
Sitting here I am exhausted after a very rough night with my hubby who was very restless. My gorgeous daughter of 12 looked so haggard going off to school as she was disturbed too. Hubby won’t take his meds, won’t really admit he has BP. We have so many struggles and so often I want to give up but never seem to go all the way to leave. Thank you so much for these words today, I know in my heart that being the ‘Eternal Optimist’ is helpful but sometimes the tiredness and exhaustion stop me from being so. I really appreciate the work you do Dave, it is so helpful knowing so many others are in the same boat. Oh, and without God’s blessings none of this would be possible, thank you Lord for the support and friends you provide for us.
Cheers
C
I have finally come to the conclusion that my ‘supporters’ whom I’ve really thought ‘should be’ supporters are really my enemies. I wrote those people today and told them that they are detrimental to my mental health. I want no further contact with them. I had another suicide attempt last week after a conversation with my aunt. I now realize that my family only wants the worst for me and is happy when I am miserable. THEY WANT ME DEAD. I am finished with the mental health field, too. It is a money-seeking business and frankly, these leaches don’t care about the people they prey upon.
I discovered I’m bipolar about 3 weeks ago. I always knew that I’m not “normal” – was treated for depression last year and this year break-down they made the great discovery.
I’ve almost lost everything – And sometimes it does not bother me. Yes I have lots of suicidal thoughts – but thank heaven’s I have a 10 year daughter who’s image contantly appears out of no-where.
I’m tired – have no will to live – I just want to black out – maybe for a year – anf then come back. Why can I not do that.
The Bomb! – I found out on Monday I’m pregnant – I had to stop my medication – I am not coping. Please anyone out there – please help. I have no sort of support structure – I’m alone and I can not carry on anymore. People say it’s mind over matter – let them walk in my shoes for an Hour! Just an hour.
Irene
A)A Parent, B) A Child or C) a Spouse Figure – Love has no boundaries when it comes to providing support to these referenced ones. I understand that Bipolar is a disease and I read up on it as much as possible so A) I can “avoid” developing this (as it is hard to cure) B) in the event that someone I would be willing to support unconditionally develops this ailment – need to know as much about it as possible.
Having an anger issue is not necessarily a bipolar sympton, so how does one know for sure when it is Bipolar.
Anger – for understandable reasons?
Bipolar – Every little thing, person can trigger an episode?
please advise