Hi,

Did you realize that physical and mental health go together? They do. In order to have all-around health, you need to be completely balanced. That means you need to be balanced: Not just physically, but mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and even financially… Personally, at work, at church or wherever you worship, in your community, and in the home… In all your relationships, including how you feel about yourself. That’s a lot of balancing to do, isn’t it?

The main thing to remember is that your health involves both physical AND mental health,

whether you have bipolar disorder or are just supporting someone who does. I particularly tell people who have bipolar disorder that they have to take care of their physical health as well as their disorder.

An article in Reader’s Digest recently puts it this way: Body plus Mind plus Spirit equals Your

Actual Age. Have you ever seen those older people who seem to have a whole lot more energy than you do? It’s because they’re taking care of themselves. One of the things they’ve learned how to do is to manage their stress. Over time, chronic stress can be very unhealthy. Jassica Payne, MA, Ph.D., says, “When you learn to manage your stress, you’re more likely to stay healthy and reduce your risks for heart disease or stroke.” Even your doctor will tell you that!

One way to do it, according to this article, is to become aware of your stress, anxiety, or anger

symptoms, such as a racing heart or feeling hot, sweaty, or flushed. Then slow your heart rate by slowing your breathing: inhale for three slow seconds, hold it for three seconds, exhale all the way, and repeat. Next time you feel stressed, try this method – it should help you!

I definitely recommend relaxation exercises, including breathing exercises like the one I just told you about, to people who have bipolar disorder, to help them keep their stress levels down, and supporters need to do it too. Supporters have just as much stress as survivors do!

Another thing you need to do to stay healthy, whether you are the one with bipolar disorder or the supporter, is to eat a healthy diet. These days we hear a lot about lowering our cholesterol, but there are other things you should be aware of as well. Dr. Payne suggests a diet of lean meat and poultry, fish, whole grains, fruits, and vegetables to help maintain a healthy weight. You can reduce your portions by using a smaller plate. Make sure to have at least one fruit and one vegetable in your diet per day.

You should also be exercising. But exercising does not necessarily mean working out in a gym strenuously seven days a week. Even walking on your street just three times a week will work, as long as you do it consistently. And this is something you can do with your loved one, so it shows support to them as well, and will keep them exercising.

Remember, it is just as important to keep your physical health as it is your mental health.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

Do you ever wonder why you buy the things you do? Do you wonder why they advertise the way they do on TV? Do you hate those stupid jingles you hear on the radio? Well, they are all part of marketing campaigns designed to MAKE you buy certain things. I was reading a magazine the other day and they had an interview in it with a man called Martin Lindstrom who wrote a book called “Brainwashed: Tricks Companies Use to Manipulate Our Minds and Persuade Us to Buy.” It was a very interesting interview. Very revealing, I should say.

Here’s an example of what he’s talking about: Marketers are capitalizing big-time on the fact that mothers today are consumed with worry about germs and dirt. So any promise to “sanitize”

or packaging that suggests sterile contents speaks directly to this worry. Even the music they play in the stores is meant to cause you to buy, did you know that? According to Lindstrom, odds are that the music is a carefully orchestrated medley of songs that evoke instant nostalgia and take you back to a time when life was far simpler. You feel all warm and fuzzy, and then you’re sort of magically willing to open up your wallet. Fruit is a universally revered symbol of freshness and health, so many brands have gone “fruity,” even soaps and shampoo.

This interview aside, I’m sure you’ve noticed commercials about medication for bipolar disorder, haven’t you? If not for bipolar disorder specifically, at least for depression, I’m sure. They are rampant on the airwaves, as depression is a major problem in our society, and part of the problem with bipolar disorder, of course. The problem is that these commercials are put out by

pharmaceutical manufacturers who want you to take THEIR drug for your disorder. Now this can be dangerous. Because everyone with bipolar disorder is different. Not every drug or treatment works the same for everyone who has bipolar disorder.

What really makes me mad about these advertisers is that it seems like they treat you as if you have no intelligence at all! Or at least no will of your own or no ability to make any choices of your own! That’s why they’re trying to FORCE you to make the choices THEY want you to make! That’s why you have to be very careful. Whether it’s medication for you or your loved one, always check with your doctor. Make sure you do what he/she tells you to do. The main thing is, just because the advertisement makes the drug look very enticing, it still may not be the right medication for you. Only your doctor knows whether it is right for you or not. You need to trust your doctor to do what is best for you. If it is, then take the medication only as prescribed.

And always make sure to notify your doctor of any side effects as soon as they occur, as you

may be experiencing a reaction that you shouldn’t, and your doctor can’t help you unless you tell

them about it. Another good thing to keep in mind when it comes to medications is to use the same pharmacy, as this way they can watch for any adverse drug interactions between medications you are taking. Make sure to keep the prescription in the bottle it came in so there’s no confusion as to the directions on how to take it. If you do use a pill container, keep the prescription bottle handy for directions.

Another good suggestion is to always take your medication at the same time every day (especially if you take certain meds in the morning and others at night), as this will help you to remember to take them.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

I remember when I was dealing with my mom’s big episode, one of the worst things I faced was her anger. I know, too, from the many emails and letters I get from bipolar supporters, that anger is a common issue that many other supporters face as well. When people with bipolar disorder go into a bipolar episode, they can sometimes feel very angry. They can get angry that they are depressed or manic. They can get angry that things aren’t fair, or that they feel that life itself isn’t fair (or at least feel that it hasn’t been fair to them). They can be angry that maybe they had to lose their job because of their bipolar disorder. They can be angry that their family is treating

them differently. They can be angry because they feel society (their community) is treating them differently. They can be angry because of the diagnosis of bipolar disorder itself. They can be angry because they feel differently. Mostly, they are probably angry because they feel like they are not in control.

They probably feel like the bipolar disorder is in control of them. Although this is a common feeling for people with bipolar disorder to have, it still doesn’t excuse the fact that they are probably taking their angry feelings out on you. So how do you deal with your loved one’s anger?

One way is to validate their emotional state and feelings. Now, I’m not saying that you have to agree with everything they think and feel, nor with how they’re acting. But validating their emotional state and feelings means that you can say something like, “I can see how you might feel that way.” This makes your loved one feel as if you are at least listening to what they have to say, even if you don’t agree with them, and you are acknowledging their right to feel the way they do. This is important to them.

Another thing you can do when your loved one is angry is to ask how you can help. Notice I didn’t say to ask IF you can help, because then all you’re going to get is a yes or no answer, and that’s not really going to help you. But by asking HOW you can help, you will get a clearer direction in exactly what your loved one is looking for from you.

One thing you DON’T want to do is to fight back with explanations. This just puts you on the defensive, and only prolongs the fight. Explanations are a force of habit. We really do believe that if we can just explain ourselves, our loved one will see that they have no reason to be angry.

That’s assuming that when your loved one is in the throes of bipolar anger that they are totally

rational, but that’s not usually the case. In fact, it’s usually the opposite, so you need to treat them as such. Definitely do NOT patronize them, though, as they will resent that and just get more angry at you. But if you try to explain yourself, your loved one will see that as a way to prove them wrong, belittle their beliefs, or avoid blame, so you don’t want to do that, either.

It’s best just to avoid giving explanations for your behavior, opinions, beliefs, feelings, etc., especially when they are contrary to your loved one’s. If you really feel as though you need to make your point, save it for a time when your loved one is more calm and rational and is not experiencing bipolar anger.

Having your loved one angry at you is not a pleasant experience, but knowing how to deal with it can certainly help. Try using these techniques the next time your loved one is experiencing bipolar anger.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

Have you seen that new show about a young couple that just had a new baby and what their life is like now? It’s a comedy about how their life has changed now that they have a baby in their lives. I haven’t seen it, but the commercials look pretty funny. Maybe you’ve had children, and you remember when they were babies (or you have a baby now)… And you remember how they would cry, and you’d have to try to figure out what they were crying about… Did they need their diaper changed? Did they need to be fed? Did they need to be held? Did they need their pacifier? Did they need something else?

The point is, the only way that a baby has to communicate is through crying. But we learn, as an adult, that we have to communicate through words if we’re going to get our point across. In other words, you can’t expect your loved one to know what you’re thinking or feeling if you just shut down and stop communicating. It is very important to keep the lines of communication

open with your loved one who has bipolar disorder.

Communication is one of the most important things there is in a relationship. Especially when you’re trying to deal with bipolar disorder. So why do supporters stop talking to their loved ones with bipolar disorder? Well, usually it has to do with fear. Fear that they will make their loved one worse. Fear that it will start a fight. Fear that they won’t be understood. Fear that they will push their loved one away from them. Fear that they are making a “mountain out of a molehill.”

Fear that their thoughts and feelings aren’t really valid. Or any one of a number of reasons.

They may even be going from past experience. Some bipolar supporters have tried to talk to their loved ones in the past and it hasn’t worked out, so they stopped talking to them. Maybe this is you. Maybe you tried sharing your thoughts or feelings with your loved one at some point and it didn’t work out exactly like you wanted it to, so you’ve stopped talking to your loved one, too.

Maybe it’s out of fear. It could be for one of the reasons I listed. Or it could be for another reason. But whatever the reason, if you’ve stopped talking to your loved one, then communications have broken down… And that’s NOT good. For you, or for them, for your relationship, or for their bipolar disorder.

Maybe you just need to take a risk. Try taking something simple. And start with that. Like making a suggestion. For example… Maybe you can offer an opinion on what the two of you can do together this weekend or something. It’s a start! Then work up from there. Eventually, you can rebuild the walls of your communication and be able to share your thoughts and feelings with your loved one again.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews554/

Here are the news headlines:

Bipolar Disorder, Depression Remain Hidden, Misunderstood
DO> Some don’t agree but I do, what about you?

BRIDGE Study Finds Bipolar Disorder Missed in Major Depression Diagnoses
DO> Wow this is amazing, isn’t it?

Europe’s Brain Disorder Bill Hits 800 Billion Euros
DO> What do you think of this?

Bank Won’t Hire Woman With Bipolar Disorder, Suit Claims
DO> Do you think the bank is right or wrong?

Psychiatric Hospital Regularly Over Capacity
DO> This is so sad and it’s so true

Madness and Creativity: Is there such thing as the “Mad-Genius”?
DO> What do you think?

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews554/

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

Do you remember Play-Dough? I think it’s even still around today! I remember having a blast playing with it as a kid. There was so much you could do with it! There were so many colors it came in. There were so many different shapes you could make it go into. Especially if you bought the special molds… But even if you didn’t… You could always use Mom’s cookie cutters, couldn’t you? The thing is… Some kids could spend hours using their imaginations

and making all kinds of things with Play-Dough… Other kids would play with it for a little while and then lose interest and go on to something else… And then there were other kids who would just EAT it! LOL Just kidding…

But what I’m getting at is that different people, if given the same circumstances, will react in different ways. Just like those children, given the same toy. Everyone with bipolar disorder is different, so the same medication/treatment is not going to work the same for everybody:

So think about how that relates to you, as a supporter. On the one hand, I hope it would be good news to you to find out that you are NOT alone. There are SO many other supporters of a loved one with bipolar disorder out there. I know, because I get emails and letters from thousands of them. So no, you are not alone. And that should be good news. Because I know that sometimes I felt, when I was dealing with my mom as her supporter, that I was alone in what I was trying to cope with. And when I found out that there were actually millions of people that had bipolar disorder, it was a revelation to me. I just didn’t know that. So just knowing that helped. But it was still hard going through being a supporter to my mom.

It’s still hard for you, isn’t it? The daily ups and downs… The mood swings… The bipolar episodes… The unpredictability… The financial pressures… The impulsive acts… And maybe just the fact that your loved one got diagnosed with bipolar disorder turned your life upside down. I know it has for some supporters. I know in some cases, their loved one makes it really hard for them at work, too. That might be part of the problem for you, as well. But you hang in there, don’t you? In spite of all the problems, you still hang in there. Because you feel like you have no choice. So you try your best, sometimes just to get through the days. But sometimes you think that maybe your best just isn’t good enough. So maybe you start to compare yourself with other supporters. Maybe you hear about other supporters in your support group and you think they are doing better than you are, so you want to be like them.

But I’m here to tell you… That’s not the right way to think. Mostly because everybody is different, and you don’t know what’s really going on with them. They might be struggling just as much as you are! They might even be jealous of you! So just keep doing the best that you can, and hopefully things will eventually get easier for you. Just don’t compare yourself to others, because everybody is different.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

Today I want to talk about: Ways to Help Your Loved One Stay On Track

1. Don’t Let Them Get Lazy

It’s hard for your loved one when they, perhaps, have lost their job and are now on disability. Some people lose their sense of direction when they have nothing to wake up

for any more when they have no job to go to. Don’t let your loved one get lazy just because they aren’t working any more. Encourage them to make a To-Do List, or something else that forces them to be productive in some way every day – just something that gets them out of bed with a day’s goal in mind.

2. Make Sure They Stick to Their Treatment Plan

Sometimes loved ones may stick to their treatment plans in the beginning, when they know you’re watching them, but then they slack off when they think you’re not looking. Don’t let that happen to your loved one. Make sure they stick to their treatment plan. This is so important. Especially when it comes to their medication. No, they’re not a child, and you can’t make them take their medication by forcing it down their throat. But you can encourage them and reinforce the importance of taking it. Be the same way with the rest of their treatment plan – going to their appointments with their psychiatrist, doctor, and therapist. Eat a good diet, exercise, and sleep right, etc.

3. Use a Buddy System

Try to keep them on track by finding a “BP Buddy” for them – maybe someone from their bipolar support group. Someone who knows what they’re going through, and

is perhaps sharing the same struggles. Maybe they can do some things together, maybe

some things to keep them from getting bored – maybe they share the same interests, or at

least could go out to eat or to the movies, etc.

4. Encourage Them to be Independent

Don’t act like your loved one’s babysitter. Encourage them to be independent, and

not to be dependent on you. You want to be supportive, and you want them to feel your support and to know that you’re there for them, but at the same time, you don’t want them to feel as if you’re smothering them. If you have grown children, remember back to when your children were teenagers and were trying to show that they were “grown up.” Your loved one is going through the same thing. Stay close enough that if they want your help, you can help them, but give them enough room that they can do what they can for themselves.

5. Be Their Cheerleader

When your loved one does make advances in their growth, say, in therapy, be their personal cheerleader! Make sure they know that you are on their side, not only NOT

nagging them, but being positive and encouraging, and cheering them on to do

good so that they don’t get depressed. Even small advances can be good ones. Being a good supporter isn’t an easy job. But it is so important to your loved one that you encourage them every step of the way.

6. Make Time For Yourself

You need to take care of yourself as well as your loved one. You don’t want to get burnt

out, do you? If you get sick or stressed out, who would take care of your loved one? So

it is important to take care of yourself first. You need to make sure you are balanced

physically, emotionally, mentally, financially, and spiritually. You also need to have balance in your work and home life. And between taking care of your loved one and taking care of yourself. It’s important for you to keep your stress levels down and to relax when you need to, and to do things that are enjoyable for you. You should practice hobbies that you enjoy as well. These make you feel productive and help your self-esteem.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

Today I want to talk about:

THINGS NOT TO SAY TO YOUR LOVED ONE

1. ALWAYS

Don’t use any sentence that has the word always in it, such as you always do this, or you always do that. For one thing, no one always does or doesn’t do anything. It’s an extreme word, and your using it isn’t going to do anything but make your loved one mad. Like if you said, “You always pay more attention to the TV than you do to me.” It’s not even realistic, and will more often than not lead into a big fight.

2. NEVER

This is a lot like using the word always. It’s another extreme word. Like if you said you never do this or you never do that. Again, it’s not realistic. No one “never” does things. Like if you said, “You never do anything with the kids.” It will only seek to make your loved one defensive, which will probably come out in anger against you.

3. “You’re spending too much money.”

Now, even though this might be true, your saying it like this will cause them to be angry and lash out at you. Yes, excessive spending is a symptom of a bipolar episode, but your loved one may or may not be aware that they are doing it. You might try phrasing it something like, “Have you noticed that you seem to be spending more money than usual lately?” This puts the ball in their court.

4. “I understand.”

There is no way you can understand bipolar disorder if you don’t have it, and your loved one knows that and is sensitive about it. So if you say this, they are very likely to come back with something like, “No you don’t. You couldn’t possibly understand.” And

that is true. You can’t fully understand what they’re going through, because you don’t have the disorder. But you can say something like “I can only imagine what you’re going through.”

5. “You’re sleeping too much.”

If you say this to your loved one, it might put them on the defensive. It may sound to them as if you’re saying, “You’re lazy.” And they may want to defend themselves. Yes, if they are in a bipolar depressive episode, they may sleep more than usual, but your mentioning it in that way may cause them to misunderstand your caring. It might be better to say something like, “Don’t you think you might be sleeping a little too much lately?”

6. “What about ME?”

Unfortunately, your loved one, when in a bipolar episode, is in a very self-centered mode. They don’t care about you or how you feel or how things are going for you. They only care about how they feel and how things are going for them and what is happening around them. They are in no position to meet your needs. It is best just to leave this alone.

7. “Can’t you do something?”

You want to scream at them, “Can’t you do something? ANYTHING? Just get off the couch, or out of bed (or wherever they happen to be).” It’s so frustrating to watch your loved one lay around day after day and do nothing, or not even get out of bed. It’s hard as a supporter to understand that, when in an episode, sometimes they can’t even get out of bed, much less do what you would like them to do.

8. “Don’t you WANT to get better?”

This is accusatory, and pretty much guaranteed to get a reaction from your loved one. This could be anything from crying to yelling to withdrawing, or any other emotional reaction. Of course they want to get better. Nobody wants to suffer from bipolar disorder. They just feel that right now they don’t have the ability, and they need you to support them by being understanding.

9. “You’re doing this on purpose.”

Again, you are accusing your loved one for something that isn’t their fault (they didn’t choose to have bipolar disorder) and can’t help. Again, you will probably get an emotional reaction from your loved one.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi, how’s your day going? I hope it is a good one.

Remember when we were little and we were taught how to cross the street? We were told to:

STOP, LOOK, and LISTEN.

Stop at the curb. Look both ways for traffic. Listen for a car that may be turning. Stop, look, and listen.

It’s useful advice for the supporter of a loved one with bipolar disorder too. Think of it as a warning system. Like we have smoke detectors in our houses to alert us to a fire. We have security systems in our homes, businesses, and on our cars to thwart a robbery attempt.

Some people think that’s just being paranoid, but I believe it is smarter to take precautions wherever you can. Like the Stop, Look, and Listen idea is a precaution.

Bipolar disorder is an incurable disease. Your loved one could have a bipolar episode no matter how long they’ve been stable. Now, I’m not talking about riding herd over them or being too compulsive about watching them for symptoms of the disorder or anything.

But I am saying that you DO have to keep a watch for symptoms and triggers. You can’t trust bipolar disorder. It will rear its head when you least expect it (like when your loved one has been stable for a length of time).

Your loved one needs to do the same thing. They know themselves. They know when they feel “normal” and when they don’t. And they need to tell you when something feels wrong. They may start some acting-out behavior that you can catch right away if you: STOP, LOOK, and LISTEN.

For example, they may start losing sleep. Now, in and of itself, sleep loss is not a danger.

But if you are watching it carefully and you pick up that it’s been going on for a week, it could be a symptom of your loved one going into a manic episode.

The same thing if you note that they are starting to talk a lot, really fast, and changing from subject to subject. If you are listening carefully, you might determine that they are going into a manic episode.

What if they start sleeping more and more? That could mean they are going into a depressive episode, so you need to watch for it.

Also, you know your loved one’s triggers (at least you should), so for example, if stress is a trigger for them, and they are in a stressful situation, watch them carefully. They could go into an episode.

Knowing the symptoms of bipolar disorder and your loved one’s triggers can work as an early warning system for you. If you do think your loved one is going into an episode, you can call their doctor right away and they can adjust your loved one’s medication rather than put them in

the hospital. Or the two of you might decide that your loved one does need to be hospitalized. But at least you’d have caught it early.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews553/

Here are the news headlines:

Families Of Mentally Ill Have Their Own Struggle
DO> This is the truth isn’t it?

Scientists Honored for Outstanding Achievements in Mental Illness Research
DO> Wow this is great.

US Advisers Urge FDA To Address Antipsychotics In Kids
DO> What do you think should be done?

For Some, Faith Is Powerful Partner In Mental Health Care
DO> Don’t you think that it is?

The Connection Between Big Pharma and Our Kids
DO> Do you think they should be more restricted?

Swedish Researchers In ‘Depression Gene’ Find
DO> Wow, what do you think of this?

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews553/

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave