Hi, how’s your day going? I hope it is a good one.
Remember when we were little and we were taught how to cross the street? We were told to:
STOP, LOOK, and LISTEN.
Stop at the curb. Look both ways for traffic. Listen for a car that may be turning. Stop, look, and listen.
It’s useful advice for the supporter of a loved one with bipolar disorder too. Think of it as a warning system. Like we have smoke detectors in our houses to alert us to a fire. We have security systems in our homes, businesses, and on our cars to thwart a robbery attempt.
Some people think that’s just being paranoid, but I believe it is smarter to take precautions wherever you can. Like the Stop, Look, and Listen idea is a precaution.
Bipolar disorder is an incurable disease. Your loved one could have a bipolar episode no matter how long they’ve been stable. Now, I’m not talking about riding herd over them or being too compulsive about watching them for symptoms of the disorder or anything.
But I am saying that you DO have to keep a watch for symptoms and triggers. You can’t trust bipolar disorder. It will rear its head when you least expect it (like when your loved one has been stable for a length of time).
Your loved one needs to do the same thing. They know themselves. They know when they feel “normal” and when they don’t. And they need to tell you when something feels wrong. They may start some acting-out behavior that you can catch right away if you: STOP, LOOK, and LISTEN.
For example, they may start losing sleep. Now, in and of itself, sleep loss is not a danger.
But if you are watching it carefully and you pick up that it’s been going on for a week, it could be a symptom of your loved one going into a manic episode.
The same thing if you note that they are starting to talk a lot, really fast, and changing from subject to subject. If you are listening carefully, you might determine that they are going into a manic episode.
What if they start sleeping more and more? That could mean they are going into a depressive episode, so you need to watch for it.
Also, you know your loved one’s triggers (at least you should), so for example, if stress is a trigger for them, and they are in a stressful situation, watch them carefully. They could go into an episode.
Knowing the symptoms of bipolar disorder and your loved one’s triggers can work as an early warning system for you. If you do think your loved one is going into an episode, you can call their doctor right away and they can adjust your loved one’s medication rather than put them in
the hospital. Or the two of you might decide that your loved one does need to be hospitalized. But at least you’d have caught it early.
Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
Post responses below
Dear Dave and readers, My name is Lynn, and I’m a recovered alcoholic. I also live w/Bipolar II on a daily basis. However, I need to add this caveat: I live alone, ex. for my2 cats. I do have a dtr. and son-in-law that do live in town here w/me, tho’. But sometimes I think I need to ‘be my OWN supporter,’ in some ways, not to exclude my therapists’ visits, regular visits w/my shrink, and also my housing case mgr. I still voluntarily have a payee, who helps me pay my bills and manage my money–disability is my only source of income. [and am doing better than when I tried to do it alone.] I’d like to share something else, too. I recently found out that I have breast cancer. I’m making sure to keep my appts. during this journey, also cuz I have S.A.D. as well. I’d appreciate any and all prayers that can be said for me; they help MORE than you know. And if anyone wants to talk to me, my email addy is:
sawyer7952@yahoo.com
Thanks for bein’ there for me, and for letting me share.
Lynn S.
grateful alcoholic
Hi Daivid,
I want you know that I delling with my bipolar day by day and it hard to do any more my sister is moving to diff. town and Im haveing a hard time with it part of me want to move becouse she lived he all over her life and part of me is hurting so i dont talk to know one about it I go see a couse and she know some what of what going on but i dont tell evey thing will i talk to you later bye
David,
This is my first time to respond but I have been reading your emails for several years.
My daughter has been treated for bi-polar about 15 years and has just recently been in an episode which is both manic and depressive – very scary!
I went with her to her psychiatrist Friday because she told me that while taking depacote she was sinking into a depression that she felt like she wouldn’t be able to come out. Her doctor explained that it is easier to treat depression than mania and that was the reason for the depacote, now they would decrease the depacote gradualy so the mania won’t return and then try to regulate her medications to make her stable again. She also discovered in checking her records that this is the second episone of combined mania/depression and both occured about 2 months after back surgeries she had and told us that they were very likely triggered by the anaesthesia used in these operations. I asked if they knew which anesthetics cause this reaction and she said she didn’t know. Because my daughter is to have an operation on both hands soon (she is 61) she is going to check with her surgeon to see which anesthesia was used in her surgeries so they can avoid it or them in her upcoming surgery and possible avert another episode of this impact.
Do you have any information regarding this situation?
Your letters have been very helpful to me in understanding and supporting my daughter and she and I deeply appreciate you interest in your mother’s health enough to share your experiences and knowledge with us.