Hi,

How’s it going for you today?

I hope you are doing well.

Have you ever heard the old expression, “Beware of the elephant in your living room?”

It meant not to ignore what was right in front of your face.

See, people would walk around problems in their family (or their own problems).

They would act as if there weren’t even any problems at all.

They would ignore the problems, hoping they would go away, or miraculously solve themselves.

They wouldn’t talk about them.

Among themselves or with other extended members of the family.

And if the neighbors heard about it? Why that would be disastrous!

That’s why nobody would talk about it.

And that’s where the expression came from.

Ignoring the elephant in the living room.

Well, some people do that with bipolar disorder.

That’s called denial.

And that’s one of the first things I talk about in my courses/systems. Because if you don’t face up to the fact that you or your loved one even has bipolar disorder, how can you learn how to manage the disorder, or learn how to be a good supporter?

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SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
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So first denial is the elephant in the living room.

You first have to accept bipolar disorder in order to fight it and learn how to manage it.

I can’t tell you whether to tell other people, whether in your family, extended family, or people outside your family, whether you or your loved one have the disorder. That’s your decision.

The important thing is that YOU accept the disorder.

And here’s something important that you might want to learn (or remember, if you already have learned it), that I teach early on in my courses and systems:

YOU ARE NOT YOUR DISORDER!

And for supporters, remember that your loved one is NOT their disorder. They still have an identity outside the disorder itself.

Remember, you are NOT bipolar. You HAVE bipolar disorder. There is a big difference.

But from there, the rest becomes a little harder.

After you accept the diagnosis, don’t just let the bipolar elephant stay dormant in your living room.

Don’t just let the diagnosis sit there without doing anything about it. And here I’m talking to people who are newly diagnosed as well as people who have had it for awhile.

Learn all you can about bipolar disorder, whether you’re the one who has it, or you are the supporter.

There are things you can do to fight this disorder.

Then comes management of the disorder itself.

Medication and treatment.

Having a good doctor, psychiatrist, and therapist, and going to all those appointments regularly.

Joining a bipolar support group, and for supporters, joining a support group of your own.

Taking care of yourself – getting the right amount of sleep, exercising, and eating a healthy diet.

And taking care of yourself in other ways, too. Ways that keep balance in your life:

Not just physically, but mentally, emotionally, financially, and spiritually as well.

Doing things that keep you productive and give you a sense of accomplishment at the end of the day. Doing things that make you feel good about yourself.

You could work at a job, or if you’re on disability, you can work at a part-time job, start a home-based business, or do volunteer work.

You also need to do things that help you stay as stress-free as you can. So factor in leisure activities as well.

Now comes the hardest part of all, but perhaps the most important.

Staying stable.

In order to stay stable, you have to stay vigilant against that bipolar elephant in your living room by watching for signs and symptoms of your bipolar disorder.

You have to learn what triggers your bipolar episodes.

Try to keep a mood chart or journal to watch for patterns so that you can see an episode developing and catch it before it happens.

Call your doctor if you feel “off” in any way – if you just don’t feel like “yourself.” If you call early enough, you can also avoid in episode. It could just be that you need a medication adjustment or change. But notify your doctor. They’ll know what to do.

A supporter is real important here, too. Sometimes you can notice changes in your loved one before they do. You know their normal behaviors.

If you notice anything different, or you know that they’ve been under stress lately, or one of their triggers has been set off, watch them carefully for signs and symptoms that they might be going into a bipolar episode.

If you do notice these things, talk to your loved one, as they may have noticed the same things. Then have them call their doctor.

Together, hopefully you can avoid an episode from happening.

But you can’t do any of these things if you, as the saying goes…

“Ignore the bipolar elephant in your living room.”

What do you think?
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David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

I hope this day is going well for you.

Guess what?

It’s snowing a ton this morning.

It’s suppose to snow more than a foot.

It’s kind of a pain because that means no hiking for probably two weeks.

I don’t like hiking when there’s tons of snow on the ground.

This has nothing to do with bipolar disorder but I figure I would tell you : )

Okay, let’s move on…

I got this email the other day and wanted to share it with you:

“Dave-
I don’t know what to do anymore. I have so many problems. My husband’s bipolar disorder is out of control. He just keeps doing these things, and I just cnaa’t stand it any more. He won’t listen to me any more, and there’s nothing I can do stop it. Everything he does leads to more and more problems, and I just don’t know anymore where his problems end and mine begin.

I have more problems than I can handle, and I just can’t take it anymore. I’m about to lose my job because he’s caused so many problems for me at work because of his bipolar disorder. He just isn’t getting any better. I don’t even think he’s taking his medication. What am I supposed to do? Georgia.”

Wow. Now, first let me say that I’m not a therapist, so I’m not qualified to give the kind of advice that I think this woman really needs. All I can do is give my opinion, based on the kinds of emails I’ve gotten like this before.

But this woman really does have some problems.

First of all, she says that her husband’s bipolar disorder is out of control. So let’s address that.

That seems to be her major problem.

She says he’s causing her problems, more than she can handle. He’s causing her problems at work. So he’s obvious acting out from his disorder.

She says he isn’t getting any better.

Now here’s the key thing. Why isn’t he getting any better? She then says, “I don’t even think he’s taking his medications.”

There’s where I think the problem really is.

If your loved one isn’t taking their medications, then of course there’s going to be problems.

They’re not going to be following the treatment plan that I talk about in my courses/systems, and how I stress how important that is to the management of their bipolar disorder:

NEW LEARN THE SECRETS OF THE MOST SUCCESSFUL WITH
BIPOLAR DISORDER?
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/bipolarmastersystem/

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
If they’re not following their treatment plan, they’re not only going to have their own problems, but their problems are going to affect you.

Like Georgia said, “I don’t know where his problems end and mine begin.”

But here’s the thing:

All this woman is talking about is problems and more problems.

And that IS the problem.

And if you’re living in the problem, you’re NOT living in the solution.

In this case, the solution would be for her husband to get back on his medication, follow his treatment plan, and begin managing his bipolar disorder better.

But then she’s got another problem –

She can’t MAKE him do that!

So, again, she has to live in the solution, and not the problem.

So what can she do?

I know another woman who faced the same problem at work, and she was honest with her boss (which was very, very difficult for her, but necessary), and they made it where her husband was not allowed to call or come to see her at work any more.

She worked in a hospital, so her calls were able to be screened, and if he came on site, he was escorted out by security guards.

Now, this was not an easy solution by any means, but it was living in the solution and not the problem. And things got better at work for her, and she was able to keep her job.

The point I’m trying to make is to keep a certain mindset – to live in the solution, and not the problem.

I’m not saying it’s easy, by any means, but you may have to separate yourself from your loved one and make them own up to their own problems, so that their problems don’t become yours, and before you become as overwhelmed and desperate as the woman in this email.

Remember to live in the solution and not in the problem.

Think about what the real problem is, then think of what some solutions to the problem might be.

Like the woman I told you about, she had to take action at her job at the hospital.

The woman in the email is going to have to try to get her husband back on his medication and treatment plan (or, perhaps, take more drastic measures – maybe consider hospitalization).

You might be in the same situation, or similar.

Don’t let your loved one’s problems become your problems.

If they’ve been in an episode and there have been consequences because of what they’ve done in that episode, make them take responsibility for those consequences.

Those consequences are THEIR problems, not yours.

Or if it’s too late, and they have become yours, then go back to the principle of living in the solution and not the problem, and work it out.

I know it may sound too simple. I don’t mean it to. The principle is simple. The working out of it is hard, I know. But it can be done. It must be done, because you have to find a solution to your problems.

You can work this principle with your own problems as well.

Live in the solution, not the problem.

Do you know what I mean? Agree?
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David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

Hope you’re doing ok today.

Today I want to talk to you about money.

I know, a subject that nobody wants to talk about.

But I’m actually going to teach a seminar about this, about how if you have lots of money, how you can lose it fast.

But with bipolar disorder, that can definitely happen.

Even if you don’t have lots of money.

There a lot of costs involved in having bipolar disorder, or supporting someone who has it.

There’s the cost of doctors, psychiatrists, and therapists, and the cost of travelling to them, too – the gas,  and the upkeep on your car.

Then there’s the cost of the medication.

Even if your insurance does cover the doctors and medication, there’s usually  co-pay. But if your insurance doesn’t  cover it, you can go into debt into the hundreds of thousands of dollars!

That’s what I mean by losing money FAST! It can deplete your entire savings, and some people have even gone into bankruptcy!

Even if you’re on disability, it’s still not enough to live on, and supporters usually have to get a job to cover the costs of a loved one with bipolar disorder.

Even some people with bipolar disorder have had to go out and get a job, too.

That’s why, in my courses/systems, I go over how to deal with finances and debt management for people with bipolar disorder and their supporters:
NEW LEARN THE SECRETS OF THE MOST SUCCESSFUL WITH
BIPOLAR DISORDER?
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/bipolarmastersystem/

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
If you don’t have control over your finances, you can lose lots of money, FAST!

And if your loved one goes into a manic episode, and starts spending money excessively, you can lose it even FASTER! They can even bankrupt you if you don’t have systems in place to prevent it.

The best way to prevent that is to keep the credit cards and checkbook for them.

I know this may sound cruel, but at least it will keep you from going bankrupt!

There are ways to stretch the money you do have, which will help, like going on a budget, and cutting back on those things you can really do without (do you really need that fast-food lunch? Or could you pack a lunch from home?)

Or you can think of some ways to make some extra cash, like getting rid of some of those things you don’t really need and selling them on ebay or something.

You could even start a home business! Lots of people I know who have bipolar disorder and their supporters have done this and have become successful at it.

If you can think of some other ways, let me know and I might post them on here!

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME
Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.