Hi,

What’s going on?

I hope you are doing well today and have a great day.

I wanted to bring up something. I call it the bipolar supporter loser attitude.

A couple months back I met someone who was a bipolar supporter. His wife was TOTALLY out of control. She was “kind of” in treatment. She was “kind of” taking medication.

As a result, she had destroyed his finances, family life, relationship with friends, etc.

Her bipolar disorder was running circles around him. It was really sad.

I asked him why he allowed this, and he said to me, “It’s not worth the fight?”

I said, “Huh?”

And he said, “Yea, it’s not worth the fight.”

I said to him, “Do you want me to give it to you straight or sugar coat it?”

He said, “Give it to me straight.”

So I said, “That is a ‘total loser attitude.'”

I said to him, “How in the world could it NOT be worth the fight? How could getting your wife stable so you have some money, so she doesn’t look like a fool most of the time, so you have a good family life, so you can have a normal life and she can be all she can be, not be worth the fight?”

I said, “Of course it is.”

I said, “Let me ask you a question:

“If you were out of your mind 90% of the time saying and doing stupid, dumb, destruction and crazy things, wouldn’t you want someone to go to the end of the earth to help you not do these things? Or would you be okay with being like this?”

He said “Um…well I would want someone to help.”

I said “Yea, of course.”

I said, then, “Why do you have a loser attitude like this?”

He said, “Dave it’s not that easy, it’s hard.”

I said, “Oh that’s right I forgot, I didn’t have to work hard for my mom for like a year.”

He said, “Well, I know but well I am tired.”

I told him I can understand that. I asked him what is holding him back. He said “We tried it all.”

I said “You tried it all — you tried every possible combination of things?”

He said “Yes.”

I said “Wow! You tried 1,000,000 things, how old are you? You aren’t 500,000 years old, are you?”

I said to him, “You know that if there are 20 things you could do the total number of possible things to try would be 20 times, 19 times, 18 times, 17 times, 16 times…which is way more than 1 million!”

He said “Well we didn’t try everything.”

NOTE-

He was kind of getting frustrated with me because I wouldn’t go along with him.

Then I said, “You need a new plan and a better strategy.”

He said “Yes.”

So we got to talking and I outlined some things that he can do immediately. Most importantly I gave him the right mindset. The “You versus bipolar disorder you’re going to win” mindset.

In my courses/systems below:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

I talk about how if you are a bipolar supporter you can’t just sit around and say “it’s not worth the fight.”

With bipolar disorder, it progressively gets worse and worse and worse when there is NO treatment. It doesn’t fix itself magically.

It’s worth the fight.

My dad use to think like that. He used to always tell me not to argue with my mom and just to go along. We did that for YEARS. Actually decades and it didn’t work at all.

When I took over in 2004, I said there’s going to be a new way of life. A new strategy. It will be worth the fight and I will not allow my mom to be unstable.

As a result, my mom became stable. There’s no question it was really, really hard work.

But it was worth the fight.

Do you think it’s worth the fight for yourself or someone with bipolar disorder to get them stable?

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME

Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

I am running late so I have to get going.

I am going hiking again today and I am not 100% sure where the place is so I will probably get lost.

Someone called me this morning to talk about bipolar disorder.

Which is why I am late today.

She was basically talking about how her loved one is always making mistakes. It was odd. She wanted her loved one to be perfect.

I’ve yet to meet an absolute perfectionist who was dealing with bipolar disorder and had a stress-free life, have you?

If you expect your loved one to be perfect, you’re going to be sadly disappointed.

However, if you’re willing to become accepting of your loved one’s imperfection, you will begin to notice that your stress will decrease, as will theirs as they see that you expect less of them.

The need for perfection and the desire for less stress conflict with each other.

Whenever we want things our way, or are too attached to having something a certain way – especially better than it is now (like our loved one before the bipolar disorder) – we’re engaged in a losing battle.

Instead of accepting what we have to accept now (accept things the way they are instead of the way we want them to be), which would lead to a more positive attitude, we’re still wanting perfection.

Learning to accept the diagnosis of bipolar disorder in your loved one is one of the big things I go over in my courses/systems:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

If, instead of being content and grateful for the life you have, in spite of the bipolar disorder, you’re focused on everything that’s wrong (a negative attitude), and your need to fix it, you’ll never get rid of your need for perfection, and you’ll never accept your loved one’s bipolar disorder.

Whether it’s related to ourselves (a scratch on our car, a messy closet, an imperfect task, being a few pounds overweight) or someone else’s imperfections (the way our loved one looks, behaves, or manages their disorder), the very act of focusing on imperfection causes unneeded stress.

A strategy for overcoming the need for perfection has nothing to do with wanting to do your very best but with being overly attached and with being focused on what’s wrong with life in general and your life in particular.

It’s about realizing that while there’s always a better way to do something, this doesn’t mean that you can’t enjoy and appreciate the way things already are.  The solution here is to catch yourself when you fall into your habit of insisting that things should be other than they are.

Try simply to remind yourself that though your loved one has bipolar disorder (and it is NOT your fault),  that life is ok the way it is, right now.

Hey I have to run well actually hike. I will talk to you later.

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

How’s it going?

I hope you are doing well.

When it comes to emotions, everyone has them.  So it doesn’t matter, at least when it comes to emotions, whether you have bipolar disorder or not.

But for someone who has the disorder, their emotions can go up and down like a rollercoaster.  So, as a supporter of a loved one with the  disorder, this is one of the first things you have to learn to deal with. Unfortunately, this is one of the things you will always have to deal with, as emotions are a part of the mood swings that are a symptom of bipolar disorder.

In my courses/systems, I list all the symptoms of each of the types of the disorder:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
For now, though, let’s just talk about the emotions of Bipolar I and II.

In Bipolar I, periods of major depression alternate with periods of severe mania. During the mania, your loved one may exhibit the following:

· either elevated or irritated moods (emotions)

·grandiose thoughts, ideas or behaviors

· inflated self-esteem

·decreased need for sleep

· racing thoughts

· unusual agitation

· excessive involvement in pleasurable activities like shopping sprees or sexual encounters

So with Bipolar I, you’re dealing with both high and low moods (emotions).

With Bipolar II, periods of hypomania (a mild to moderate level of mania which  is not severe enough to interfere with your loved one’s ability to function) alternate with periods of major depression.

So if your loved one has been diagnosed with Bipolar II, the worst emotion in them that you’ll have to deal with is their depression.

In general, though you have to deal with the changing, shifting, sometimes rapidly swinging and widely extreme mood swings characteristic of bipolar disorder.

But what about your own emotions?

Do your emotions shift to match your loved one’s?

You need to listen to your own emotions, because they’re like a barometer, and they can gauge what’s really going on with you – they’re usually trying to tell you something.

Emotions are like a guidance system. When you’re not caught up in negative thinking, your emotions will be generally positive, and no mental adjustments need to be made.

But when your feelings (whether toward your loved one, toward their bipolar disorder, or toward life in general) are negative – when you’re angry or hurt, frustrated, disappointed, resentful, stressed, etc. – your emotions are like a warning system that an adjustment needs to be made.

In that case, your emotional warning system is telling you that you need to ease up on your thinking; that you’ve lost perspective; that you’re off track.

The main thing is, you can’t ask your loved one to change their emotional pattern if you’re not willing to change your own.  But on the same token, if you’re successful with your own system, you can teach them how to manage their own emotions!

Hey, I have to head to the gym now.

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

How’s it going? Hope you are doing well. I am running late. Sorry. I had a late night yesterday. I was out with Anna my Goddaughter and her mom and dad in a charity walk/run.

We got back really late. We didn’t do much walking or running because Anna didn’t want to be in the stroller.

So I wound up playing with a talking Sunflower and a cow that talked to. I was pretty entertaining if I do say so myself.

Okay, enough with the stories from me. One more thing. Hey many people do not know about my site
www.bipolarcentral.com
which has lots of f.ree things to help you with bipolar disorder.

Take a look as soon as you can.

Here’s the current bipolar news.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews387

Here are some of this week’s headlines:

After B.ankruptcy M.ortgage Refinance is a Very Real Possibility
DO> Take a look at this article by me.

Living with bipolar disorder
DO> Interesting article.

The Bipolar Buddha
DO> Strange huh?

Is Bipolar Disorder an Excuse for Wretched Behavior?
DO> NO WAY jose, what do you think? We just wrote about this. Interesting.

Bipolar not unfamiliar to politics
DO> Hmm. What do you think?

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews387

==>Help with ALL aspects of bipolar disorder<<==

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:

http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp

Your Friend,

Dave

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hey,

How’s it going?

Hope you are doing well.

I am going to wind up get tons of hate mail about what I am going to say concerning bipolar disorder today.

Actually before I jump into that, I wanted to tell you something.

Last night, I started getting tons of phone calls again late at night. It’s really annoying. 3:00am phone calls.

I actually have an emergency line that I have to keep open for one of my businesses and I guess someone found the number and gave it to a bunch of people.

I actually picked up and was not happy. The person was shocked that I wasn’t super excited to talk about bipolar disorder at 3:17am EST.

If you have my numbers use your head and PLEASE don’t call late.

I must say as this grows bigger and bigger and bigger it’s hard to control. My lists increases up to 2000 people in a day. There are lots of things to consider.

The organization is virtual. No one understands a 100% virtual organization so it’s hard talking to lawyers, accountants, etc about everything. It gives me a headache. Especially when people find out it’s in mental health and I have lots of people working for me with one or more mental illnesses like bipolar disorder.

I HATE spending 45 minutes of a 1 hour meeting defending that it has worked and can continue to work. I know all these “professional” people are looking out for me but it’s still annoying.

Soon I am going to be posting a new job for an administrative assistant. We are working on a ew hiring process. This job is going to be really important and critical to the future grow.

There is no way I can continue to handle all that I have been handling.

I will keep you posted.

Guess what happened to me? I was volunteering the other day.

This man was totally out of control. He was talking loud. Interrupting. Walking around. He was scaring people. Circling around them.

He came over to me. And said all kinds of things to me. It was really making me mad.

Then I just looked away. I saw several people walk out.

I thought that this person might attack me. I actually prepared for it in my head.

At the end, I went up to the other members. I complained to them that this person should not be there.

They said, “Well he is a good member normally.”

I said, “That’s great. You can’t let manic people disrupt the meetings like this, for their own safety and the other people’s safety.”

The person running the meeting said, “Dave it’s not worth the fight.”

I was like, “And you are supposed to be a facilitator with that kind of attitude?”

I told him that there should be someone who should have stopped this man from doing that kind of behavior.

And it seemed like I was the only person who was, like, scared of this guy, you know?

Everyone else just acted like this was NORMAL!

I tried to reason with people, but I finally gave up.

Sometimes you can’t reason with unreasonable people.

If they couldn’t see anything wrong with letting a manic person “run the show,” no amount of my complaining was going to do any good. Even if I was right.

Let me tell you something:

Bipolar disorder does NOT give you a pass on bad behavior.

Remember that.

In my courses/systems below:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

there are cases when people did all kinds of crazy things.

And supporters just stood by.

They didn’t know what to do.

They were embarrassed.

They didn’t want to fight with a person with the disorder.

The person got fired or suffered other dramatic consequences.

Supporters were made to look like fools.

But it’s your duty as a supporter to step in and get your loved one into treatment.

Don’t be like the people at that meeting I went to.

Don’t let your loved one be the manic person who goes crazy acting out and just doing whatever they want to just because there’s no one to stop them.

Just remember that bipolar is NOT a pass on bad behavior.

I know people are going to say, “Dave you don’t understand, I can’t control my bipolar disorder.”

That’s NOT true. If you can’t control it, get a better treatment plan and don’t go out into public. If your loved one is not stable, do NOT bring them out to say and do things to people. That’s dumb.

My mom said to me, “If I am ever manic you have my permission to stop me from making myself look like a fool.”

What annoys me the most is the people who go in and out of episodes all the time and say and do crazy things and then say, “oh, it’s my bipolar disorder, feel bad for me, I can’t help it. Deal with it.”

I am super mad at the person that did this at the meeting. He should know better. The people at the meeting should be ashamed of themselves for allowing it as well.

You know what? I bet 80% of the people at the meeting will NOT come back.

Think I am too hard on this person or being “mean”?

Let me know. Hey I have to run. Catch you later

Oh, later today, I am going on a charity run/walk with my Goddaughter Anna who is 7 months old. She is not going to be doing any walking or running J

I am going to be pushing the stroller. I can’t wait until she can walk and talk. Since I know nothing about babies I am not sure when that is going to be? I have ask someone or look it up online J

Okay catch you later. Have a great day and let me know about today’s email. Okay?

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME

Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

How are you?

Hope you have a great day today. I wanted to get this out to you really quick because I have to get going with a very busy day.

Really quick. Have you gotten my f.ree book yet. I hope so. I worked hard on it and it’s totally free. It’s an overview of mental disorders. Took me more than one year of really hard work.

Get it here:

http://www.bipolarcentral.com/overview_of_mental_disorders/

Enjoy.

One thing you hear me talk a lot about is creativity and bipolar disorder.

That’s probably because I really do believe that the two things go hand in hand.

I think one of the symptoms of having the disorder is increased creativity. at least that’s shown itself to be true in my life.

My mom is one of the most creative people I know. And you know, if you’ve read my emails for any length of time, that I always brag on my staff because half of them have the disorder and they are VERY creative!

What that means, for one thing, is that when there is a problem that needs solving, they always seem to find a solution that people who don’t have bipolar disorder weren’t able to see.

I even talk about creativity and bipolar disorder in my courses/systems:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

I know of a book on bipolar disorder that’s a sort of question and answer book on the disorder, and someone even asked the question, “Is there a connection between creativity and bipolar disorder?”

The answer surprised me, because at the time I didn’t know that creativity and bipolar disorder were linked. So maybe the answer will surprise you, too.

But the answer was, “The truth is there is a connection between creativity of all sorts and bipolar disorder.”

What was really cool about the book, though, was that it went on to list some very famous people who had or have bipolar disorder.

It was able to do that, because it said that these celebrities chose to publically come out and disclose their own struggles with bipolar disorder, so you know it’s true.

The first one to admit she had bipolar disorder was Patty Duke. In 1987, she wrote an autobiography called Call Me Anna about her bipolar disorder.

Other famous people include:

• Ned Beatty
• Dick Cavett
• Carrie Fisher
• Linda Hamilton
• Mariette Hartle
• Red Sox baseball player Jimmy Piersall
• Bipolar expert Kay Redfield Jamison (who has a whole list of famous people in her book called Touched with Fire)
• TV host Jane Pauley

Supposedly, the famous poet Lord Byron, composer Robert Schumann, painter Vincent van Gogh, and Winston Churchill also had bipolar disorder (only it was called manic depression back then).

If you want to know any other famous people with bipolar disorder, you can go on the internet, or read Touched With Fire by Kay Refield Jamison, who is an expert on bipolar disorder (and has a whole list in her book).

Okay I have to run. I will see you tomorrow.

Your friend,

Dave

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

How’s it going?

I hope you are doing well.

Hope you have a great day today.

Yesterday I got into a big argument with someone that basically said, “oh poor me, I have bipolar disorder my life is a nightmare….You don’t understand what it’s like Dave. It’s impossible to do anything.”

I disagreed of course and tried to explain that bipolar disorder has many advantages.

Think I am out of my mind?

Do you think there are any advantages to bipolar disorder?

I DO!!

I try to get people to see the positive side to things all the time, because I’m a pretty positive person to begin with, but this is a pretty hard topic to get people to see the positive side of.

But at least I try to get people to see the good and the bad side to the worst of things, even a diagnosis of bipolar disorder, which is some- thing I go over in my courses/systems:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

With that being said, I know you live with bipolar disorder every day, so you experience the bad side of it. But let’s try to see if there are any advantages to it.

I talked to Bill and Michele about it, because they’re married, and they both have the disorder, so they both see it from being survivors AND supporters.

They said in their opinion, there ARE some advantages:

They were diagnosed in the first place because they were really stressed out in the workplace, so these are some of the things they now see as advantages:

1. They are out of the workplace.
2. They have less stress.
3. They live a simpler life-style.
4. They get to spend more time together.
5. They are more creative with their time together (ex. They go on a date night every Friday, even though they’re married).
6. They are closer to each other now (fighting the disorder together).

The main thing is that dealing with bipolar disorder is not a death sentence, for one thing. although there is no cure, there at least is treatment.

And with treatment, as you just read about with Bill and Michele, you can live a pretty good life.

The thing is, that good life depends on a good attitude. If you have a negative attitude, you’re going to be focused on the disadvantages of the disorder.

But if you have a positive attitude, you can be focused on the advantages of the disorder, like the examples above  There are other advantages that I came up with, too:

• Increased creativity.
• Learning to manage the disorder
• Learning to manage stress
• Learning to manage time

Can you think of some more?

Hey I have to run. Catch you tomorrow. Have a great day!

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

How’s it going?

I hope you are doing well.

What a long day yesterday. That 10 mile hike was really tiring.

I will be posting some pictures really soon.

Anyway, I wanted to talk about anger and bipolar disorder today.

I know that anger is a huge problem for people dealing with bipolar disorder. How do I know? Not just because I’m a supporter myself or because my mom has it, but because I get TONS of emails on just this subject.

You wouldn’t believe how many people are dealing with anger these days – whether they have bipolar disorder or not. (Well, yes you would, because you’re probably one of them.)

That’s why, in my courses/systems, I have whole sections devoted just to anger management:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

Well, Robert Allan PhD, clinical assistant professor of psychiatry at the New York-Presbyterian Hospital, wrote a whole book on anger, called Getting Control of Your Anger.

In Dr. Allan’s book, he talks about a 3-step process for taming rage:

1. Identify the hook (trigger) that feeds your anger.

Just by knowing that there is a trigger that sets your anger off can be liberating in itself. It’s the first step toward changing your reaction to your anger and not allowing yourself to directly express that anger by yelling or getting physical.

2. Step back or remove yourself from the situation causing your anger.

By doing this, you can figure out WHY you need the anger. Then you can try some relaxation or deep- breathing exercises to try to get back some of your self-control.

He also suggests developing an OBSERVING self, a mini-version of yourself who you visualize sitting on your shoulder viewing the big picture and warning you not to take the anger bait (hook or trigger).

Dr. Allan says that when we get angry, the feeling is usually fueled by the need for respect or the need not to have our territory breached, or both. (What about you? Do you agree with that?)

3. Fill the need without expressing anger directly. Instead, ASK for what you need.

Now, that last point would take a whole email in itself to talk about!

What about some of YOUR ideas? How do YOU think you fulfill that third point?

How do YOU handle YOUR anger?

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.