Bipolar Supporter Blog

Hi,

How’s it going?

I hope you are doing well today.

Oh, some people have written me about working for this organization.

We will be soon taking new applications for writers and editors. Keep reading my daily emails to see where the position will be posted.

I must say, the new individuals that we have hired have been incredible. We have gotten more done with expanding the organization and also rebuilding certain areas in the last month than the prior six months.

We have 4 new people starting September 2— the day after labor day and hopefully these individuals prove to be just as good.

On that note, I must say something. I have hired lots of people in my time. Some have been really good and some have been really, really bad. It’s kind of like doctors. Some are really good and some are really bad.

Don’t ever settle for a bad doctor just like I should never settle for a bad employee—one who doesn’t put his heart and soul into what needs to be done. Same thing with doctors.

Okay, I was talking to this person who was a cheerleader. My friend was saying to her that cheerleaders are useless.

It’s kind of funny because she USE TO be a cheerleader but now has a great job. She cheered in like high school and college. My friend doesn’t really have a job—he’s one of my “I only lift weights and train in the gym and don’t have a job” gym friends J

So she ripped him apart after he made fun of cheerleaders. I think he wanted to go out on a date with her but went about it the wrong way. Insulting someone isn’t a good way generally.

Anyway, I was thinking about the concept of a cheerleader.

They have certain traits, like:

· Outgoing

· Friendly

· Optimist

· Positive

· Proactive

· Excited

· Endurable

· “Cuddly”

· And sometimes overbearing

Other people who weren’t cheerleaders weren’t always so impressed with these qualities, or at least some of them (like the overbearing one – which is why I put it last LOL).

But the other qualities…

There is a lesson for bipolar supporters that can be learned from high school cheerleaders –

Basically, if you look at it this way, YOU are your loved one’s cheerleader. Aren’t you?

You may not have ALL the qualities listed above, but you have to at least have some of them to be a good supporter.

In my courses/systems below, I talk about the qualities that make up a good supporter:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

Even regularly, you should be acting “friendly” toward your loved one – that quality is a given.

But optimistic and positive?

Those may sometimes be a little harder.

Especially when you sometimes feel like the disorder (or your loved one) has “beaten you down” and you feel tired of fighting it.

That doesn’t matter. You still have to remain optimistic and positive if you’re going to be a good supporter. Actually, if you’re going to help yourself, as well. You have to stay strong to stay “in the game.”

And being optimistic and positive is the way to do that.

Even though things may look “doom and gloom,” you can still think about when things were good, when your loved one was stable, about how they were before the disorder and how they will be again…

You can ALWAYS hope for the best! That’s what being optimistic is, after all. You know, the old “glass half full” thing.

In my courses/systems, as well as in these emails, I talk a lot about being proactive. That’s one of the qualities you should have as well.

You should have systems in place for those “bad bipolar days,” for days when your loved one is down and you truly have to act as “cheerleader” for them.

Remind them of the good things – about how well they’re doing. About how they’re doing so well with their medication, about how they’re sticking to their treatment plan, about how much better they are than when they first started – anything you can think of.

If they’re feeling down, try to get them out of the house and do something fun, like going to see a movie or something.

Come on, now, supporter! Take one for the team!

I actually asked the girl in the gym if she would do a cheer. She declined. Oh well.

But seriously, you really need to be a cheerleader when you are supporting a loved one with bipolar disorder.

Think of this one last thing. When a team is losing the cheerleaders still keep on cheering and being optimistic. You have to be the same way. Because when you are supporting someone with bipolar disorder, you will face tremendous adversity from the person, from your friends, from your family, from the system, etc.

You have to be optimistic, tough and upbeat despite having odds against you.

Know what I mean?

Hey I have to run. I will catch you later on, okay?

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME

Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

How’s your day going today?

I want to warn you about something today:

FORUMS.

I was talking to someone the other day about forums. He was a military person. Serious guy. Really strong. Really tough. You don’t mess with this guy.

But boy, did he have some things to say about forums – things I want to pass along to you.

I was telling this military guy about how people will write a list of 10 to 15 major questions about bipolar disorder in a forum and expect someone else to give them answers, and then take those answers and handle their situation.

These people, in my opinion, are never serious.

I mean, come on, even if they were, shouldn’t they be asking their own doctors and other medical and mental health professionals these questions?

These other people who post answers to their questions are just like them – they’re not doctors, psychiatrists, therapists, or any other kind of professional.

These people ask stuff like:

· I think my boy/girlfriend has bipolar disorder,

What should I do?

· My husband/wife won’t take their bipolar

medication – what should I do?

· This medication I’m taking is great! I think

everyone should take it, don’t you think so?

· I don’t have a therapist, and I don’t think I need

one, do you?

· I don’t think I need to be on medication for my

bipolar disorder, do you? I feel fine without it.

These are just some of the things they post. How can a forum be expected to provide such complex answers to such complex questions?

The military guy who was listening to me said, “That’s dumb. That’s like if I went to Iraq and I was supposed to read some forum posts and get some answers and then be ready to fight, without any training or anything.”

I was thinking about that. Imagine the US military approaching war like most people approach bipolar disorder.

They would check around in forums. Post some questions. And then hope for some answers. Hope for the best.

Plus then they would get mad when people didn’t write back what they wanted to hear, or didn’t write back fast enough or write back at all!

I’m not saying that everyone who posts on a forum is like this.

But the problem is, people with bipolar disorder who depend on forums (and chat rooms) for their answers, instead of on professionals, are getting exactly what they’re asking for. And it isn’t good.

Know why? Because they have no system.

In my courses/systems below, I start with a doctor finding system, and then I go into other systems:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

I even give a list of what particular questions you should ask your medical/mental health professionals!

You should NOT be depending on forums to give you the answers you need to complex bipolar disorder questions.

I’ve seen supporter and survivor forums, even, where all the people do is share “sob stories.” Now, I’m not cutting down these people, so please don’t send me any hate mail.

All I’m saying is that those forums aren’t going to do you any good if you or your loved one have specific questions that need to be answered by a professional.

So heed my warning: DON’T depend on forums to answer your questions, any more than that guy in the military would depend on them to give him instructions on how to fight in Iraq.

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME

Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

Hope you’re having a good day.

I was talking to this woman the other day, who looked sooo sad!

So I asked her what was wrong, and she said, “EVERYTHING.”

I said,” Everything?”

And she said, “Yes, everything!”

So I asked her, “Are you feeing all right?”

She answered, “Yes, pretty much.”

I said, “Do you have children?”

And she said, “Yes, I have 2 of them.”

I asked, “Are they healthy and happy?”

She said, “Why, yes they are.”

I said, “Do you have a car, and does it run well?”

She said, “Yes, and I don’t have any problems with my car.”

So I said (and don’t get mad at me like she did), “So not EVERYTHING is wrong, is it?”

And, you guessed it, she got really mad at me.

But here’s my point. You can’t just lump your problems under “EVERYTHING.”

It doesn’t work that way.

In my courses/systems below, I teach about problem-solving, and how you first have to define the problem before you can figure out a solution:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

Ok, so what IS your problem? You already know it is not EVERYTHING.

Pick ONE problem. Let’s just work on ONE problem..

Ok, now let’s work on the solution (you know I am a solution-oriented person).

Start a list. Really! Take out a piece of paper and a pencil or pen, and start a list.

Write down the problem at the top of the piece of paper.

Problem not that important? Then it’s easy to solve, and you can take care of it without this system.

But if it’s bigger than that, this system will work for you.

Ok, back to your piece of paper with your problem written at the top.

You’re ready to start writing your solutions down now.

I know, I know, you’re probably thinking, “He doesn’t know what he’s talking about. He doesn’t know anything about my life or my problems.”

You’re right. I don’t. But I do know a lot about bipolar disorder. And I do know I spent a LONG time developing systems that work.

And this system does work. I still use it myself (and I’m a supporter, just like you).

Think of the most impossible way you can to solve your problem. The “no way this will solve my problem” solution.

As a friend of mine says, “The impossible just takes a little longer!”

Then work down from there, until you find the right solution to your problem.

It works, trust me!

Now listen close…

Closer…

Closer…

Ok, I’m going to tell you a secret…

EVERYBODY HAS PROBLEMS!!!!

You’re not the only one! Supporters of loved ones with bipolar disorder seem to have more problems than anyone else, too.

But not EVERYTHING is wrong, is it?

There have to be SOME things that are right!

So here’s my advice:

Be grateful for the things that are going right, and work “Dave’s Problem Solving System” I showed you in this email on your other problems.

Good luck – you are now an “Ace” problem-solver in my book!

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME

Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

Happy Monday.

How’s it going?

Hope you are doing well.

Actually yesterday was kind of funny. I was debating with a therapist at 11:30pm whether or not bipolar disorder was real or not.

Over the next few days, I will tell you exactly what happen and was said. It’s very instructive.

Anyway, I have a friend that says to me yesterday “my sister is doing great. Isn’t on any medication.”

In my mind I am saying, “here we go again.”

Why? Well every time the sister gets off her medication I heard one week she is doing great and then all of a sudden disaster strikes.

It’s amazing how my friend doesn’t even recognize this pattern and goes along with the thinking of “she’ s doing great and she isn’t on medication.”

I was thinking about what makes the difference between someone who has a total disaster of a life with bipolar disorder and someone who doesn’t.

Think about it now for a second if you don’t mind and then scroll down.

Have any ideas? Think and then scroll down….

Okay we’re back.

I wanted to tell you about a person who works for me. Her name is Michele. Now, Michele wasn’t always the stable person with bipolar disorder that she is now.

Michele USED to be:

-A drug addict and alcoholic

-A terrible mother

-Married 5 times

-Couldn’t get any c.redit

-Had EVERY car repossessed

-Was evicted from her house

-Was homeless

-Couldn’t have a checking account

-Couldn’t have a savings account

-Maxed out ALL her c.redit cards

– Had creditors calling all the time

(until her phone was cut off)

– Attempted suicide 7 or so times.

-Went from bipolar episode to bipolar

episode with no medication

-Never could hold a job more than 6 months

TODAY she is:

· Happily married

· Restored her broken relationships with

her family

· Off drugs and alcohol

· Has good relationship with her children

· Has good car

· Has beautiful home

· Has checking account

· Pays all her bills every month

· Bipolar is stable and she is on medication

· Has great job (working for me)

· Has a c.redit card

· Has worked in the same place for more than 3 years (she works for me)

· No suicide attempts

Michele actually even has a c.redit card from my company to make business purchases.

What makes the difference?

The difference is having a plan. A system.

I talk about this in my courses/systems below:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

I always talk about this. But how do you explain about someone who suffered so much over so many years who now is married for awhile, stable, good with money, etc.?

You heard that bipolar disorder gets worse with age, right?

Then why is it that so many people with the disorder who work for me, it has actually gotten BETTER with age?

It’s because they have a plan. They have systems in place.

Just because you’ve got bipolar disorder doesn’t mean you have to stay at home all the time and hide under your covers letting your supporter do everything for you!

These people who work for me have proven that. And Michele has proven that! Look where she came from, and look where she is today! Because she has a plan. She has a system.

What makes the difference? I think it is having that plan and that system. Even if you don’t have bipolar disorder, you can still have a plan and a system. It will set you apart.

You will get more things done. You will be more productive. You will not panic when other people do. You will have less stress. You will have more money.

See what I mean?

That’s what makes the difference.

It’s really amazing. I must say as I put the list together of all old Michele even I was stunned. It’s amazing the way she  USE to be. It’s hard to believe. I wouldn’t believe it unless I interviewed her mom and husband who confirmed what the old Michele was like.

It’s really amazing.

It’s not just her there are many others I know like this. They are success stories. It’s possible. NO MATTER WHAT YOU OR YOUR LOVED ONE’S SITUATION IS.

Some say that I am giving too much hope to those who are hopeless. Do you know this is one of the biggest criticisms about me? I have therapists and doctors that have warned me not to have too high hopes for “those people.” Those people meaning those with a mental illness.

I have been told not to expect too much because they can’t do well in life. It’s that strange. Well I don’t think this way and I really think that people who do are losers.

Think I am right or wrong?

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME

Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

What’s new?

I was just checking out the weather for the day because I am going hiking and I noticed that I saw Britney Spears again.

She was on two different channels.

You’re not going to believe this –

I remember I was watching TV one night and there was this special on about treatment facilities, and there was a small part where she was mentioned and about how she still keeps going in and out of them because of her (supposed) bipolar disorder and, of course, addictions.

I know I’ve talked before about how people who have bipolar disorder and addictions have an especially hard time because you have to treat both disorders.

If your loved one has an addiction problem, the best thing for them to do is to stop. That’s it, just stop.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying it’s as easy as that, I know it isn’t. But there is no other way.

“Regular” people can’t just go to some posh resort-type treatment center where there is catered food and massages, though.

(Yea, they really were showing massages and catered food on this show at these posh treatment facilities!)

“Regular” people, especially those with bipolar disorder, have to suffer through detoxification from alcohol and drugs without being catered to.

Once detoxified, they can address their bipolar disorder issues.

But they cannot do that without medication and therapy – in other words, without a good treatment plan.

In my courses/systems below:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

I have several sections where I outline exactly what a good treatment plan is, and I go into great detail on how to manage bipolar disorder, how to be a good supporter, etc.

What I’m talking about today, though, is that I don’t think it’s fair that someone like a Britney Spears gets all this special treatment and posh recovery centers for her bipolar disorder, while other people have to struggle with theirs.

Here’s a case in point:

I know someone who moved to Louisiana. She has bipolar disorder, but she is just a “regular person.”

Unfortunately, she moved right into the heart of “Katrina Country.”

She said things are so bad there that it took her months and months just to be able to find a therapist, and even longer to be able

to get an appointment to be able to see that therapist.

That’s because of all the buildings that were destroyed because of Katrina. All the therapists had to find new buildings to put their practices so they could see their clients.

Then, with all the time that was lost, they were back-to-back with their regular clients, so being a new client, it pretty much takes forever in that area to be able to see a therapist.

And yet it is SO very important as part of a good treatment plan to see a therapist!

So what I’m talking about, I guess, is just how unfair it is that people who have a lot of money can just walk right in and get the care they want any time they want, while the rest of the “regular” people, or the people on disability (which is alot of the people who have bipolar disorder) have to struggle to even get in to see a therapist.

Not fair, is it?

Anyway, thanks for letting me vent. Agree with me or disagree?

Hey I have to run. Catch you tomorrow.

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME

Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

What’s new?

Hope this is a good day for you.

Yesterday I had a really busy day. We have hired lots of new people, have lots of new things going on with this organization to help people dealing with bipolar disorder.

Actually one of the people that helped me inititally get it started is in surgery today—Pascale.

She was instrumental in getting the f.ree bipolar mini course all setup and sent out.

I will be calling her later today to make sure everything turns out okay.

Okay, today, I want to talk about bubble gum.

Yep. You read it correctly – bubble gum!

Before you think I’ve gone crazy, I know you’re asking yourself, what does bubble gum have to do with bipolar disorder?

Well, I’ll tell you:

Remember that old song, “Does your chewing gum lose its flavor on the bedpost overnight?”

Well, whether you know the song or not, the idea is that after chewing bubble gum for awhile, it gets stale, doesn’t it? It loses its flavor, and it gets stale, and you have to throw it out..

Now here comes the bipolar disorder part.

Are you sure you want to hear this? (scroll down)

Are you really sure? (do I have your curiosity up? Then scroll down some more)

Ok, the truth is that after awhile, the things you’ve tried to help your loved one to stay stable with their bipolar disorder just get old. they get stale, just like bubble gum.

What do you do with bubble gum when it gets stale?

You do one of two things:

1. You throw it out.

2. You get a fresh piece.

So that’s my point.

When what you’re doing with your loved one isn’t working any more, think about that bubble gum, and take a lesson from it.

Either stop doing what you’re doing that isn’t working any more…

Or try something “fresh” – something new!

That’s what I teach in my courses/systems below:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

If you only do one thing over and over again, and if it doesn’t work, (it gets “stale” like the bubble gum), it’s certainly NOT going to help your loved one get any better.

And it’s not going to help you, either.

You have to try something new. You can do it! Think of something you’ve not ever tried before. Think of new ideas. Talk to other supporters – maybe they’ve tried things that you haven’t.

But whatever you do, it has to be something you haven’t tried before. How about surprising your loved one with a “reward” for “good behavior”? Just something “fresh,” something new.

I’m sure you can come up with some good ideas, can’t you?

And when you do, share them with the rest of us!

And don’t forget the lesson of the bubble gum!

It’s amazing how many people keep doing the same thing over and over and over and over and over again looking for a different result.

I find this VERY common with bipolar disorder. This is why I a person like me can help a lot of people because I can come in with a fresh pair of eyes so to speak and help people see that they are doing the same thing over and over and I can recommend new strategies.

Have you ever made this mistake?

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME

Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.