Sometimes you just don’t feel like being a cheerleader……….especially when they refuse to get help!! I just walked out on a two year relationship, because he refused to get help. He knew he had a problem, but didn’t want to face it. After being yelled out, talked down to and beaten in the head with an iron…..I had, had ENOUGH!!

Good Morning David,
Thanks again for the wonderful e-mail this morning about
being positive and being a cheerleader for our loved one
that was so good to read. Two of our 4 children were
cheerleaders and I just remember how much they put
into that being positive for their team.
Thanks again for all your special e-mails that you send
It makes my day go better.
God Bless you Sincerely, Darlene

Yep, that’s exactly what its like. And it’s not easy to cheer when the team is losing and losing by a lot. But you keep coming back, game after game and you stay dedicated. It does make a lot of sense. Thanks

Hi Dave

I must say you surprise me with the things you are saying. It is very helpful information and I just want to thank you for that. You got a very good point of view and I believe a lot of people can benefit from it.

Hope you have a really cheerful day!!!!!!!!

It is true that sometimes you dont feel like cheering, but I do have to say reading Davids stories and emails, just look to him when you dont feel like cheering. He has become my cheerleader for when im having a rough day with my loved one. Funny I was a cheerleader in high school and sometimes us cheerleaders need to be reminded how the cheer goes. Thanks so much for everything, your emails and website has giving me whole different insight on bipolar.

Dave,

I wanted to post a THANK YOU as YOU are our CHEERLEADER for supporters . . . .

I have reccomended your mini courses to a lot of people and to us it seems like your “mini courses” are more of a blog for you. We think its great what your trying to do. By helping others with bipolar. I have bipolar. And I was excited to see that I was getting daily mini courses. But then when I read it I wasn’t getting barely any information. Everyday I read about you hiring people and people doing you wrong. You should keep your professional life and personal life seperate.

Hello David

I have never posted a blog before, so here goes. Yes, I’m a cheerleader – and yes it is hard sometimes.

Your regular emails have given me and I can only imagine many, many others around the world wonderful advice, reasurement, and the hope that all of us supporters out there can get through those dark, dark days of dealing with our very difficult loved ones.

I can only reiterate what others have already said, and that is keep up the wonderful work you and your team do and know that you touch many lives on a daily basis and sometimes reading one of your emails makes the day feel so much better and gives hope – you are our cheerleader.

I can tell by reading the blogs you get many people are embracing your courses and improving their lives accordingly. I decided to invest in seeing a counsellor (as my cheerleading ability had been severely tested) and I needed help. Linda b is so correct in saying that the supporters have to take care of themselves first before they can continue to “cheer ” for everyone else.

That was 5 months ago. My loved one of 16 years is also seeing a different counsellor and I believe this is changing our lives. Regular meds, (when you find the right one of course) regular healthy meals, good sleeping patterns, and exercise all contribute to your loved ones well being and of course a peaceful life for all family members.

Before any of the above happened, there was years of difficult behaviour and I knew he wasn’t right. Finding this website was the turning point for us, and a visit to the doctor took place. Then there is the problem of the doctor listening to what you’re saying, and giving you the right diagnosis. Years ago I decided to keep a record of the difficult behaviour, or events that upset our lives. This was presented to the doctor, which in turn, we got the correct diagnosis and then in turn the correct meds.

Unfortunately it is along process, (no quick fix), and if you can endure the difficulties you can come out the other side, and for a brief time at least have some happiness in your life. Then try and maintain a level where all family members can live together with understanding and compassion.

So from this little cheerleader to all the others out there – best wishes to you all and thank you David.

Kindest regards.

Susanne,

I am so glad you have posted to the blog. I hope you come back and look at other comments because you may be surprised. You have at least one cheerleader In addition, if you know that Dave and others are cheering you on, praying for you or sending positive energy or giving practical tips, most people who comment are either supporters or survivors and some play both roles. I don’t always get to read all of the comments. But when I do, I think about the person and the tiny part of that person who posts. When they give a name, even if its not their own, I think of the name. Names are powerful. My name, Laura, is actually a derivative of Laurel, and the ancient Greek olympians were given laurel wreaths when they won. I don’t know what your name means. But as I write this, I think of my husband’s sister, also named Susanne and also a bipolar survivor and I pray that you will find the help you need. Sometimes, even if it’s just a good therapist, even one person, that you can talk to, well that’s one cheerleader that can actually do more than just cheer, they can help in other ways. I can cheer you on and pray only from a distance which is definitely not as good as in person. But when I think of my husband’s sister, like tomorrow when we go to her son’s birthday party, I will think of Another Susanne somewhere out there who is struggling. I will look at how far my sister-in-law has come in the last two years since her diagnosis and successful stabilization, and I will pray the same for you. My sister-in-law still does not have a supportive husband. But when I married my husband almost four years ago and came into his sister Susanne’s life, I was able to recognize the signs and eventually she voluntarily committed herself to a hospital, got on meds, and now is seeing a psychiatrist and therapist who are helping her. But she went undiagnosed for many years. Even before our marriage, my husband tried to get her to go to counseling because they grew up in an abusive family and both he and she were heavily involved in the drug culture. But when he got out, he went into therapy and dealt with a lot of his PTSD symptoms. He is functioning well and so is Susanne.

Of course, your case will be different. Everyone is an individual. My closest friend here is struggling in the aftermath of her latest bipolar episode and I do try to help her. I am her cheerleader. But I am not her coach. I can share my knowledge and experience but, though I may give my opinion, and tell her what I would do is a given situation, I will not take on the responsibility of doing for her what she can do for herself. While I will applaud her efforts, encourage her when she’s down, help her in whatever healthy ways I can and even let her vent, I as a supporter can not make everything go away, nor can I allow her to become so dependent on me that if I give her advice and it backfires that she’ll then blame me or tell me that since she’s bipolar she can’t help anything she does, even when she’s not in an episode.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that I feel for you. I’ve been there, alone and without any supporters. I’ve been homeless. I’ve been in and out of institutions all of my life. I’ve attempted suicide many, many times but I’m glad now that I didn’t succeed. I hope you do get more support from someone who is near you, someone who you can see and hear and touch. I pray that for you, susanne, and for others. But don’t expect a supporter to be a magic panacea. No one person can do everything for you. Not even Dave. He worked hard to get systems in place for his mother. But he couldn’t have gotten her stable without her having a good doctor and therapist. Also, he has helped his mother to become very high functioning. If my friend, who has no family in the area, goes into an episode again, I will do whatever I can for her. I will visit her in the hospital. I will help her in whatever way I can and whatever way she will allow. At the moment, for instance, she is trying to get in to see a good doctor and get another therapist. I can help her to some extent. But she has to be willing to shoulder some responsibility when she is not in an episode. Right now, we are trying to do what Dave calls a PEA (post-episode analysis) because she says she is unaware of what triggers an episode. I tell her that she can learn to spot certain warning signs. They’re different for everyone. But when I asked her to think back on what happened before her episode and I asked very specific questions, it turned out that there were triggers. I told her to write them down and I did the same. Now both of us ccan know that there are certain red flags, but by her writing them down and talking about them, she can then start to take some responsibility. In the end, she will end up feeling more empowered and less a victim of the illness.

I can’t do that for you. But I can continue to pray that someone willl come into your life as a friend who can be there cheerleading you on. In the meantime, you have me and probably others on the list that are aware of your situation and are praying for you.

Actually, all of us, whether we are paid members of Dave’s organization, are on the team fighting bipolar, whether as a supporter, a survivor or both. As a person with many different kinds of disabilities, I can tell you that denial is a huge problem with just about any of them. It sometimes takes years to work through. For those supporters who have had to walk away from abusive relationships, sometimes you have to do that for your own physical and/or emotion/mental safety. Hopefully, the people you walk away from will get help, even if it’s from another source. But you know the years you’ve tried to help. We survivors can not expect our supporters to be superhuman. Neither can our supporters expect us to be. Even with good players and good cheerleaders, no team wins absolutely every time. But they keep up the fight. Somehow, we keep going. My prayers and thoughts are with you all.