Hi,
Hope you’re doing great today.
You’re probably doing better than this guy that wrote me the following post on my blog (I hope it doesn’t offend you – it’s pretty bad):
“David – take me off your mailing list immediately. Your post concerning forums was completely over the top and self-serving. You are trying to make money off the problems people have and as far as I am concerned you are a completely sick individual who will have a special place in hell. I’ll pray that you gain some morality and avoid that, however you at the present time are a greedy, depraved individual and I want no more of your disturbing trash in my mailbox. Further, I will post a warning against your name and your “programs” on my site and on every other site with which I correspond,and those are many. I fervently hope you go broke! No one deserves it more!”
-Jeremy
———————————————————————-
WOW! That is one angry man!
I’ve gotten posts like this before, and hate mail, even threats on my life (I’ve reported them, don’t worry), but this is a really bad one. So much hatred out of one man, I can’t believe it.
I just wrote him back that I was sorry he felt that way, that I would pray for him and that I forgive him. I mean, what else could I say? Anything else would be defending myself against obviously untrue allegations.
I have no idea what this person’s situation is. Some who work for me that have bipolar disorder think he could. Others who work for me, say he is just mad at the world and taking it out on me. We don’t know.
I have however received messages like this from people who have had bipolar disorder and gone off their medications. If you have been on my list for at least 3 months you’ll remember that I was getting many death threats from the same few people. Finally they went into treatment. How I know? I spoke to their loved one’s who were supporting them.
When you go off your medication and have bipolar disorder you do and say some really terrible things.
Some people become very violent, like several people on my list in the past . This person is violent with his words.
What triggered this person’s comments to me?
I believe he’s talking about the daily email I wrote about where I talked about how you can’t listen to forum posts where they just complain, or where they tell you what to do, and I talked about the military man I knew who said that it’s like going to a forum to learn how to be a soldier and fight in Iraq.
How could he get this angry over that? I don’t understand it. How could he say that was self-serving? How could he get that out of that?
As far as me making money off the problems people have, just ask any of the people I have helped. I have over 8,000 (maybe 10,000 we stopped counting at 8,000)
testimonials from people who have written me thanking me for the courses/systems I sell that have helped them as supporters and their loved ones who have bipolar disorder. And I get more and more each day.
I’m not a gazillionaire. I don’t even pay myself a salary! The money I do make goes into paying the people who work for me and into new courses/systems to help even more people “who have problems.” (like this guy says)
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
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Also, ask anyone who works for me.
I employ several people who have disabilities, some even with more than one. Many who have bipolar disorder themselves. These people couldn’t work for “regular” businesses.
Other businesses wouldn’t hire them because they had bipolar disorder or another disorder. They’re able to work for me, first because I was willing to give them a chance that other businesses wouldn’t, but also because I gave them the opportunity to work from home that they couldn’t get anywhere else.
Does that sound like a “completely sick individual who will have a special place in hell”? (what that guy said in his post) That really hurt me, until I reminded myself that he is exactly the type of person that I am trying to help. He is a very sick man. He is a very sick man. Like the people who work for me said, maybe in a manic episode, and very angry. He’s just taking his anger out on me.I am not greedy, like he accused me of being. If I was, there would be no new courses for people like you to help you manage your problems and your loved one’s bipolar disorder.
I come out with new material all the time to help people. If I was greedy, I’d be making all this money, and it would go to me (and I would be that gazillionaire) instead of programs to help people with disorders like bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder and schizophrenia.
There wouldn’t be any daily emails, and there sure wouldn’t be bipolarcentral.com.
If this weren’t so sad, it would be laughable.
But you’re a supporter, and you know this isn’t a laughable thing. Maybe even your loved one has acted like this, and it isn’t funny.
Without medication, a person with bipolar disorder can have distorted thinking, and say things like this man did. That’s why I can’t even be offended by his words. I can only feel sorry for him. Just like I would for your loved one.
Empty threats. Nasty threats, but empty threats. That’s all they are. They would normally hurt my feelings, but I understand them.
Without medication, and/or when someone with bipolar disorder is not stable, or in an episode, they can act like this.
So if your loved one does act like this, like goes off their medication or does go into an episode, although it may seem like they’re directing their anger at you, it’s probably just the bipolar disorder talking.
Hey I have to run. I am probably going to the park today with my Goddaughter Anna. Tomorrow I am going hiking. I just got a new camera and I will be taking photos. I am working on a better system to take photos and post them so you can see. What do you think of what this guy said?
FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME
Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials
David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.
Post responses below
To be accused falsely is deeply hurting. I am dealing with such an accusation, though certainly not to the degree you describe above. But yes… it hurts because the person who points the finger act as if they know your intent and your inner spirit- none of which anyone can claim- only God. So this individual has taken on the role of God per-say in making such comments without ever having met you face to face or spend time with you one-on-one.
This internet can be a scary place, but I did wish to let you know that your work is greatly appreciated. I read your emails every day and I thank you for them.
-Leoni
Wow does that bring back memories. My loved one use to be so mean and rude. The stories I have you would believe but I dont think anyone else would. My man ended up in jail with a felony and massive charges. All from not taking medicine and talking like that man does. Well needles to say we have come a long way, things are better but we will always be fighting to make things normal. Dont ever give up this is a battle till death.
Jo
What you said about forgiving him is true. I was raised that you don’t forgive a person who wrongs you for their sake, but for your’s. You are the one that feels better after letting go of that hurt. But that doesn’t mean you forget.
My father is not a good father. Well, before he met my step-mom he was a great father – a daddy. After he met her, everything changed. That really hurt my sister and me. I have forgiven him – but that doesn’t mean I forget the way he acted/acts. My father does not have bipolar or any other mental illness. To forget the way he acts would just open me up to hurt again. That isn’t wise. I fight to stay stable and people who are not in my best interest or supportive of me I keep at arm’s length.
I love my father and respect him because he is my father but also for the kind of man he is. He provided well for our family, he was a great step-father, he worked at the same place for 38 years before retiring. He can fix anything – car, house, you name it. But that isn’t respecting him for being a good father. That is admiring the kind of man he is AWAY from his family.
There is good in every one – even that man who said those nasty things. It is just a matter of finding them and seeing the glass as half full.
Hi David,
I just read your email and it reminded me of me years ago. I don’t get that way anymore. I have a great psychologist. I have a new pyschiatrist and I think he is a keeper. I really don’t like psychiatrists but I know if I have a good one I will be OK. I have had bipolar for 37 years. I know everything you say is true. I think it is great the work you and your staff do. I hope with you and your staff that no one else will have to spend 37 years never knowing what tomorrow will bring. I pray you and your staff have many many good years ahead of you to help people. Personally I don’t believe
the guy has Bi-polar disorder. I think he is a hateful man and I feel sorry for him but he should be more responsible with his words. You are a great person for the work you do. Please keep up the good work that helps me everyday.
Sincerely,
sandie
oh lol David..you really seem to have taken to heart what that person said..your work is like umm a psychiatrist or counciller ..and its totally upto the people if they sign up for your posts. 🙂 Don’t worry.
David, don’t even let this bother you. Obviously this man/person is off their meds and in a raging bi-polar episode. You are giving it way too much consideration. You are an extremely good person, constantly helping others around you. You can see you are sensitive to others, as you are taking this personally. Just pray for this person. God help his/her family for dealing with them.
I was reading as I often do your bipolar bit for Sat. 23 of Aug 08 and laughed till I cried yes it would be and is laughable if it weren’t so sad. I wanted to say I believe you offer an admirable service and I am sure you very often put a smile on my face and in my heart as I deal with a rather large amount of bipolar people in a non professional environment friends and family and lend various kinds of supportand often listen to them personally attack me due to various factors Meds, reactions to changing meds, weather whatever it is here is a dose of I believe you are offering a great service and it makes me have hope and gives me peace for the bipolar I deal with.
That was a pretty hateful letter you received, but David we feel by all your correspondence that you are trying to help people and that person needs our prayers too. God Bless and the good work going. Have a Great weekend …. Send us pictures. Patricia
Dave , Thank you so much for todays email. I am sorry this person took there anger out on you and tried to make you feel bad. You are right this person is sick and having issues right now and you just happen to be the one who he directed his anger at.
As a supporter you know that at times your bipolar love one can say very harsh things to you, if they are unstable or having a episode,or missed taking there meds. I can tell you before I found out the truth about how bipolar illness effects your love ones ,the things that were some times said really hurt me and I could not understand how a person who could be so sweet and kind one minute ,then could be so angery and harsh the next minute at me or who ever it might be at the time. Like you said you have to remember the sweet loving person before the epoisode of bipolar takes it toll at its unknown time.
This person that sent you this I am sure has some really good sweet days and is a nice person when his illness is not controlling him. This day was a bad day and you just happen to be the one who he wanted to direct his anger at. Maybe when he is better and he realizes the harsh things he said to you and how wrong it was he wii apologize, just depends what kind of plan he and his supporters have going for him or if he is in denial about his illness. which I am sure is isn’t in full denial or he would not be reading your newsletters and mail from you.
Dave you have done alot of work and helped so many people and I thank you for everything you do for us all and I know your parents have got to be so proud to have such a careing ,loving,giving, son.
You just keep up the good work and take these kind of emails for what you said as empty treats.
I wish each and every bipolar survior and there supporters to have a happy, loving , peacful ,weekend.I am sending up prayers for us all, have a blessed day.
My time is worth money and so is yours.You spent all that time doing research and you should not be required to give it away.The information is out therefor free, so the guy who does not want to pay for it can go mine the data on his own time.I would rather pay someone for concentrated knowledge and get on with applying it to myself and family.Like I said it is out there, it is free,if you want it for free,go catch it.Why reinvent the wheel?
hi i think in my own heart that he needs help ,there was no reason for him to do what he has done to you .david you are a very awsome person and you are out there to help people and i think its great as soon as i have some money i,m going to get your book ,my husband to be can,t wait for me to get the book because he has bipolar and he wants to read it .keep up with the great work .
Hi David: I do not understand why you feel the need to defend yourself every time some one takes their bi-po episode out on you on your blog. The majority of us already know you do a good service for all who want to learn. There is always an exception to the rule or as people who work in market research would say “the margin of error” and the bigger your list gets the higher the “the margin of error” will grow too. It is basically a short, easy formula used to determine the margin of error based on the percentage of the total number of all who subscribe to your emails. Just keep up the good work as the majority of us would certainly miss you if you were to stop.
Definitely sounds like a bipolar outburst. Yes, you do have courses that people have to pay for, but you also have a lot of free things, such as your daily online letters and blogs. Keep up the good work!
Hi Dave, I think everyone has a right to a free voice and opinion. That is the beauty of having a blog. This man may or may not have a mental illness. Define normal? You cannot, every person is unique. Societies perception of what determines a mental illness is narrowing, in other words society dictates what is normal. I think we are all normal in our own way. I did not like your comment about how the people that work for you would not be employed by anyone else because of their illness. Bipolar is just a label, every person has their own unique talents and gifts, so you cannot say no-one else would employ them that is discriminatory. I do not feel any less a person than the next person because I have a BP label. As I said before Define normal? You cannot. No-one can.
He was completely out of line. First of all, no matter how much money you make out of your business personally, you help people with both the business itself and the money you make on it. Second, it IS a business; it is supposed to make money or it wouldn’t BE a business. Third, everyone has to earn a living! He should be grateful that you earn yours by helping people. It’s not greed; it is a win-win situation whereby you get your bills paid and your business helps others to be able to do the same. I don’t see how earning your own living by helping others is self-serving.
I had my own go-round with your staff/HR department. During that time, I was in a very bad place. A lot of things got past me, or misunderstood in my jumbled mind, and I was less than the nicest with your staff through email and on the phone. I did, however, do my best to be civil despite the unfounded rage running through me. You are right; this guy probably does have bipolar disorder too. What gets me, though, is that so many people like him who have the disorder either fail to recognize that they are in a particular phase that will make them behave badly or DO recognize it and let it take them over completely. I at least TRIED to be as civil as possible, knowing I was manic (the negative kind, not the euphoria kind). This guy made no such attempt. Was he unaware of his state of mind? Or did he just make no attempt to control it when ‘talking’ to someone else? I don’t know, maybe I’m being too judgemental. I just hate to see someone get personally offensive like that when they feel slighted, with no attempt at restraint.
As for my issue with your company/staff, I now realize it was all my fault. I owe your company; it was all my mistake. I just haven’t been able to find your contact info to finish working it out. I hope you reply with that info or email it to me. I’d appreciate it.
But I do want it known that your staff was EXTREMELY PATIENT with me and KIND to me, despite my anger and irrationality. They’re a great bunch of people! They did not deserve the anger that got through from me when I had an issue with your company, and you don’t deserve this guy’s anger.
I would be careful responding to “negative” feedback publicly. Bringing public attention to attacks on our character can seem to some that there is a thread of truth. It is wonderful that you responded to this man in a “humble and compassionate way”. Having to defend personal attacks (or seeming to have to defend them) can appear to some that there might be something that was said that hits a nerve or brings out unnecessary anger or negative vibes. Let it go. Easier said then done! Be right with God, yourself, and your inner circle of supporters. There is nothing we “can or can’t say” to make our enemies understand our heart. And remember….hurting people hurt people!
Hello there Dave,
I am sorry about the negative mail you received. When he is himself, this guy could be a marvellous person for all we know. Its just that persons in the throes of an episode or under the influence of any kind of mind altering substance for that matter, are not themselves at all. It is as though another entity or being is talking, writing and acting and many times although in the deepest recess of their mind they do not approve of what they themselves are doing/saying, they cant help it anyway. So the only way up for this individual is to seed help and medication. I do so hope and pray that there is some person, relative or philanthropist like your goodself who can coax him in the right direction.
God bless you always,
Marina
Hi, I just wanted to add that I think you are doing a good job. I just don’t like your disparaging view of your staff as you never truly know what another person is capable of. One of your staff could leave and run a successful business on their own. A classic example Richard Branson has BP is he capable?
Another POV. If I am happy and sing loudly while walking up the road am I viewed by others as mad. Society does not like over exuberance or thinking outside the box. I defy societies constraints and sing when I am happy. I am not mad. Martin Luther King another example of BP. And yet without these thinkers outside of the box where would society be? Lost is the answer. Yes I cry for days because I allow the full flow of my emotions. I feel because I care, there is a lot to cry about in this world and there is a lot to sing loudly about. Hurrah for my emotions. I am normal.
I guess I am the one going to hell, I can no longer tolorate it; I am in a wheelchair and the person I live with attacked me. A 17 yr old who I said no to. I would not allow her boyfriend, who is 18, to spend the night, she kicked me and threw me over. I called DCFS, and they are looking into other arangements for her. She is not my daughter, she is a foster child that I took in; at this point I can say that I think it was a mistake to even try. I tried to give this kid everything, so much so that I can not even afford to buy the programs that it seems I need so badly in order to deal with her. DCFS will not even provide her with medication for another two months. Anybody got any ideas for me, and to top it off this kid says she does not need medication.
Hi , I am a BP in a low phase . I have considered to buy some of your stuff
for a while now but what has stopped me is the excessive flow of info
Three emails a day sends a strange message to the recipient .
I am convinced you are honest and making money is not a shame if you help many . In any situation we have to cope with extreme cases , yet is it good to bring those to full light (broadcast them)? The chinese say that the wise can “obscure its own light” and that “the frog at the bottom of the well is unable to hear about the beauties of the flowers”.
Keep the good work and try to move to “one to one” marketing .
Hello, and thank you for the opportunity to express my support for you as well as my experiences under the given topic.
After several weeks of taking the opportunity to hear about your experiences and the experiences of others who post on this forum, I feel far less anxiety and far less disruption from the actions of my boyfriend. In July, I was encouraged to file a Temporary Restraining Order against him due to his upsetting and erratic behavior towards me. Yes, much of it driven by his anger which I finally took a stand against. I would like to include that as a victim of a previous traumatic experience I was very closely guided by the counselors and advocates whom I’ve depended upon in taking this type of action. I did not trust my own feelings or instincts about what was occurring which is why I contacted my counselor advocates – to get clear feedback on my perspective.
I want to add that, in this situation, a person who is undergoing treatment for trauma, often will have this type of experience. Many of their encounters appear surreal as did the first occurrence of trauma, under any circumstances. You learn to call your counselor, or advocate, and relay to them what is going on. Your level of trust in them has grown enough to give them very clear and accurate descriptions, although, in this case, I will say that they asked me questions which made the situation even more clear to me. There was a level of “minimizing” occurring that I hadn’t even been aware of until I did speak to them directly. As a result, I filed the Temporary Restraining Order of Protection, but only after my boyfriend’s victimization tactics were brought to my attention, and after the advocates and the police read and reread the notices he was sending. As you can probably surmise, I still have a tremendous amount of ambiguity, and possibly guilt, in my feelings about taking this kind of action toward someone I care about.
The hearing was held almost two weeks ago. He appeared at the hearing with both his brother-in-law and his attorney. Obviously, they encouraged him to retain an attorney. I was sent a notice from his attorney to a confidential address thus didn’t receive it until after the hearing. The response to my reasons for filing the TRO were very much like the ones stated in the document from his attorney. All are a matter of what he feels are actions he either has no recollection over, or which he distorts to a level that is not accurate about his behaviour or his actions. Being a paralegal, I understand the tactics his attorney used, however, I understand that anyone who appears at a TRO hearing with an attorney, also has been highly encouraged to retain an attorney due to the existence of possible criminal charges.
In his statement, he has stated over and over that my allegations are false and based upon his wanting to end the relationship. The allegations are not false. I have come to understand that he probably has no recollection of them due to what you’ve mentioned – being off of his medication. This is something he has used over and over as a reason to justify his erratic behaviour. Of this much I am aware of and I feel enough compassion to step back and recognize whether this relationship was ever really in my best interest. Yes, I feel as though I love Kevin, but no, I do not feel it is in my best interest or, ever could be.
How do I know? My own independent nature has returned so easily without constantly being under the influence of his actions and his emotions. After a time, for anyone, your own internal representation to yourself becomes a blurring image. I’ve remembered sitting back, quietly confused and thinking, “I must be crazy!” I’m not crazy. But, I am dealing with someone who has bipolar behaviour and this can and does make you feel as though you are going “crazy.”
Absent from the legal proceedings was indication of the kind of commitment he had made toward me, or professed which, I might add is common in these cases. What he was careful not to mention was how many times he has “broken up” with me, or how often I had made that decision myself, yet he always showed up the next day to make amends. I did come to feel as though I was living in a twilight zone existence. The level of anger and his behaviour did not assure me I was welcome in his life, yet, within hours he was back at my doorstep seriously needing to make this connection with me again. I guess it’s part of being a paralegal. I’ve grown used to the “three strikes rule.” After “three strikes, you’re out.”
The third time this occurred after a period of several months I gained enough perspective to seek assistance from my own counselor and advocates. This time I acted under their direction. It’s not easy, it wasn’t easy, but I did it and I feel 110% better about myself and my own progress since I was able to take the appropriate action to protect myself. My fear now is the retaliation. As a graduate student, right in the middle of my clinical research, I don’t have the funds to retain an attorney. I may allow the entire order to be dropped. However, experience and my own gut feeling tell me that he will be on my doorstep within a couple of weeks. Obsessive behaviour is not easy for Kevin to deal with. It’s a form of stalking, even on the internet, which is so subtle it can only be proved by continued surveillance of my own internet systems and an expert.
I, and my professional associates, have been very careful about removing or deleting Kevin from my mailing list (professional) and from our associations as a couple, for this very reason. He will respond with anger and it blows everything up again.
I’m feeling much more secure today than I did several weeks ago. The hearing was of a sad nature. His outbursts to the special commissioner that “it was just sex!” brought to her attention the question of how much control and emotional manipulation he used within this relationship. My decision to remove myself from this relationship was for exactly the same reason. Because he had shared with me experiences from past relationships that clearly indicated to me he had been abusive to others, as well. His friends and family understand his actions. They have known him for many years. They have a level of unconditional love and acceptance for him. I can only be compassionate enough to forgive him and find comfort in being able to move on into healthier relationships, more suitable for me.
The most serious items missing from the information presented at the hearing is that Kevin, once again, is advertising and seeking out a partner to engage in alternative sexual activity, i.e., a swinging lifestyle, bondage, open relationships, a regular partner with no strings attached. These are the very reasons I withdrew from him, and the very reasons I was coerced into this type of relationship with him. I’m not the only person he’s taken advantage of. What I discovered later is that the other women were equally vulnerable and in uncommon circumstances. Some of them believe this is okay in their lives. As a sex counselor, I don’t judge what others choose for themselves. However, I do recognize that Kevin is lead into this by his bipolar condition, and where others may be able to discern between conscientiousness and a level of respect for the lifestyle choices others have, he is not able to do this. Or, his compulsions drive him to a level of recklessness that can prove very destructive emotionally to someone who is close to him.
And, yes, he is angry with me for taking a stand and releasing myself from him and this relationship. I’m ok with my own life and being back on my own path again. There are some differences in my own nature and, in fact, there are a few other people with whom I’ve needed to and been able to set clearer boundaries. Persons who are close to me are enjoying, once again, my company, my smile and my self-assuring nature – and they don’t expect anything except my friendship in return. This is true validation.
Thank you for the opportunity to participate. Your feedback is always welcome.
Sincerely,
Elisabeth
Before I was on meds, I scared my family half to death. They never knew which direction I was coming from. You web site is informative, I like actually getting information from someone who knows the disorder. People don’t understand it until they have to deal with it, and it takes a while for them to “get” it. You are helping more people than you know.
My bipolar childs mother and I have felt the barbs of the comments. They hurt like hell! Having gotten SO much insight from you in the past, I have to think this person is having an episode.Try not to let it get to you and keep fighting the good fight! There are a lot of people who benefit from what you do and they are greatful!
Wild Bill
Hi,
The guy is obviously having an episode. You don’t need to defend yourself; hang tough! We’ve all been there.
God will bless you for the time and effort you take with each problem. My desire is to use the Holy Spirit to heal all my friends and loved ones who suffer from this horrible illness. So many homes and friendships have been ruined. God wins this battle, so hang in there. Help is coming soon.
Bless you for your work.
This is an additional note related to the role of being a counselor and in support of David.
I have chosen the field of sex counseling because of my experience with my late husband who was a paraplegic for 34 years. We had a very fulfilling sex life filled with love and respect. I hope to find this with the gentlemen who have expressed interest in me.
A counselor, throughout the course of their education and training must learn to profile accurately, and with compassionate understanding, what are their own vulnerabilities. There are areas of counseling I understand I am for which I choose not to practice because of my own nature and my personal feeling involved, i.e., substance abuse, domestic violence, child sexual abuse, eating disorders, and others, I’m sure. Counselors are expected to be skilled in an ability to profile the client who has come to them for assistance. However, to profile others, one must be able to profile yourself. This is why we are subjected to a mandatory process of understanding our own emotional health which is done through continuous psychological and interpersonal professional assessment. At this time, having been a victim of stalking and rape shortly after my husband passed away, I have chosen to and been encouraged by my personal physician and my colleagues, to take this time and write, research and develop my programs in adaptive and transition therapy. This is what is best for me now as I grow emotionally stronger and make the progress I need to be most effective in this field. I love my career field and I am a great transition counselor. I would never want to compromise this in my life. My ultimate goal is to work, once again, as a high school transition counselor.
I feel, as the reader and audience, it is important to know and understand how much personal assessment to which counselors and therapists are subjected. We do learn to work closely with each other to gain perspective so that we may give insight to others in an objective manner, regardless of how much our emotions and feeling are involved.
It’s just something I thought you might like to know. I hope this helped a little to understand how and why David may choose the topics he writes about and presents in this newsletter. It is very much the manner in which I approach the topics I discuss with my own audience, as well.
Again, thank you for your time and your interest in reading in this message.
Sincerely,
Elisabeth
David,
When I read your column about forums, I was thinking about how I couldn’t agree more! When I went through a divorce,I was part of a couple of foums, and I noticed how many people just seemed to be dreaming, or coming up with all kinds of strategies for not facing reality or excuses for doing all the wrong things. I occasionally get on one for ADD, and I am amazed at how many adults refuse to address their issues, but seem to use the forums as a social outlet rather than as a resource. I know some people will feel I’m harsh, but there comes a time when people have to deal with issues, not use them as excuses. There are some excellent forums that are moderated by people who know what they are talking about, and then there are those that are just free-for-alls. I wish I had had your resources when I was dating a man who his family and I now suspect has bipolar disorder, because I now know many of the things I should have done differently. He has no one who is willing to be a supporter, and I am out of the picture because he decided to seek out other women in what was apparently a manic episode. He hasn’t completely shut me out, though, and I plan to be prepared if he seeks help, if only as a friend. If not, I will at least be more knowledgeable about the disorder. But I would NOT be as well informed just from reading posts by people no more qualified than I am!
Hello,
There is a a great deal of insight to be intergrated into you self and much to be tossed with regards to the Post.
Most retaineded information goes throgh a simple yet complex processing center in the self, and that which seems plausable and that which doesn’t is integrated into ones psyche and core values. Either it solidifies, or it doesn’t . There is a great message in this post, Water seeks it own level, and either the level is there or it isn’to be had in this post.
Prayer is a great projection for this kind of emotive reaction.
.
Try to walk in the sunlight of the spirit .
Water seeks its own level in most circumstances, take the High ground.
Look at all the support you have.
Dismiss his garbage.
I am new and I know very little about being bipolar, but I’ve learned a lot just from your newsletters. I wish I could afford your entire program, but I can’t.
You are an angel…..:)
Kathryn
Hi!
I just want you to know that I believe your information is worth a lot more than I’m sure you charge for it. I only receive your newsletters. I only began receiving them after my son committed suicide. He told me at one time that he thought that he was bipolar and I was in denial. I am an LVN and have not dealt with this in my experience but after reading all the information on bipolar and relating this to my experiences with my son, I believe he could of been bipolar, schizophrenic or had a drug induced psychosis. Looking back, I would have paid anything that would have helped save my sons life. All I can say is keep up the good work and if I get the chance I will pass on the word. I know your work is tough at times but keep up the good fight of helping and possibly saving someones life.
Sincerely Sherry
I subscribed to your BiPolar Course shortly after my 20 something son was diagnosed with low lithium levels and BiPolar. I had nowhere to turn for help, advice or to benefit for the experiences of someone who had been there, done that. I was feeling very isolated, very alone. I found great comfort not to mention the valuable information you provide in your course not to mention your own personal experience.
The unfortunate person who wrote the vitriolic critique of you work is, in my lay persons experience, most likely Bi Polar himself and off his meds..
I sincerely hope he get the help he obviously needs.
So these are the two opinions people have;
When you aren’t on medication, it’s the Bipolar talking.
When you’re on medication, it’s the medication talking.
What a great choice. I mean I’ve just found out I’ve got a high possibility of having Bipolar, and this is what I hear.
It’s not much of a choice. I mean the quality of life may be better if my moods are more appropriate, but if I’m too dull from the medication I won’t enjoy that quality, so it makes me wonder what the point is.
I mean don’t people say be yourself? Would that mean not taking medication.
I spoke to my mother who’s a social worker and she doesn’t want me on meds. She suffers from hypomania and depression I think. I mean I don’t know when she’s on meds or not, so I can’t judge anything off that.
Your spam emails seem disingenuous and do smack of a folksy hard sell tactic that one could perceive to be an attempt to prey upon the desperate. I must say I can see his point, but I’d say it without the anger.
*I’m off to do my laundry and then take a hike with my dog, then maybe change the cat litter. I hope you have a great time at the park! Be sure and wear sunscreen, and take extra batteries for the camera…
Dear Dave:
I’ve been on your mailing list for several weeks and I enjoy your capacity of taking just about any daily life experience and from there reflect on the many and complex issues of bipolarity and related problems.
The hate mail you refer to, reminds me of a time when I was young and was in a very difficult relationship. My partner would be sweet and caring on some days and furious and accusing me of being the source of all her miseries on other days. At a certain point, I began to believe it myself, felt guilty of everythig and trapped in a corner and couldn’t see any way out of it. I tried to kill myself, but was lucky enough that I only cut the skin of my wrist, which left muscles, tendons and veins in view through the slit, and as I sat there, blod running and looking at the marvelous colors and the interplay of the inner parts of my wrist while I moved my hand, I realized that This is LIFE! This marvelous thing pulsing in me is LIFE! What the hell am I doing here, there is no corner trapping me, I can just turn away, pack my things and walk out of the door!
Which I did, after bandaging my hand as best as I could.
Unfortunately, in those days, back in the 60’ies, there was little awareness of mental illness in my community. This person was simply classified as “somewhat weird” and went on making her parents, partners and other people miserable with all her accusations, while having periods where she was a brilliant professional, and ended up dying of an overdose of something many years ago.
Don’t let hate mail disturb you! We can be sorry for this guy, as his inner demons are most probably doing more harm to himself than to anybody else. And it is only natural that some people who are looking for a quick fix blaming others will not take it lightly when you repeatedly tell us that we have to take responsibility for ourselves.
When you are attacked, take a reality check and trust yourself. You are doing a great job.
DEAR DAVID, HE IS COMPLETELY WRONG. I AM ON YOUR SIDE 100%. I THANK YOU EVERYDAY AND I PRAY FOR YOU TO CONTINUE YOUR GOOD WORK EVERYDAY. I LOOK FORWARD TO YOUR FREE E-MAIL ADVICE AND INFORMATION EVERYDAY. I DO NOT KNOW WHAT I WOULD DO WITHOUT YOU. I APPRECIATE WHAT YOU ARE DOING FOR ME AND FOR YOUR MOTHER AND FOR EVERYONE WHO HAS PROBLEMS WITH A MENTAL ILLNESS. I DO WISH THAT SOCIETY WOULD SPEND AS MUCH MONEY ON MENTAL ILLNESS AS IT DOES ON AIDS/HIV, ETC. SINCERELY, YOUR FRIEND, RUTH
I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT THIS MEANS, “SUBMIT COMMENT” I JUST WROTE TO YOU AND GAVE YOU MY COMMENT. I WANT MY COMMENTS TO BE PUBLISHED ALONG WITH EVERYONE ELSE’S. THANK YOU. RUTH
david:
this man is a very angry young person and I suspect PTSD on top of Bipolar–he sounds too much like my former husband who suffered from that series of disorders after returning from Viet Nam. In all likelihood, your references to the military triggered his response.
You are NOT what this man protrayed you to be David. It takes a lot of knowlege, love, dedication, and empathy to put out these newsletters. If you make money from the knowlege you have accumulated then so be it. If he does not want that knowlege it is his loss. I hope you continue to do your work as you always have and adopt the philosophy of ‘let go and let God…’ in this situation. Just from looking at the posts I have read there are several of us who appreciate your work.
In the meantime, I hope you take time to do something for YOU today. You are important too. You will come back ready to do what you do best knowing you do what you do over and beyond the call of duty. We all know this for a fact. Enjoy YOUR day–we will be here when you get back.
May God Bless
Linda
well david, honestly if the shoe fits then he’s just spoutin the truth, but on the other hand if he was jus takin anger out on u, then that was wrong of him. i have anger problems myself and i’m just recently seeing a theropist about my anger issues. The guy was wrong to blame u for things that he thinks u have one without first gettin the facts. being on his end, i too somtimes say things when i’m at that red level point of blowing up. honestly, dave just keep up with what you believe is working, cause 1 out of 10, when the success is winning is all that matters!
David,
I want to thank you for all your wisdom, concern, love and time that you spend on helping others. I’m not even commenting on the evils of the world that are out there and what this gentleman had to say. God is good and you are out there on the firing line doing his work. I am sorry for the attacks on your good nature and work that your doing, but you and I both know that when you are doing God’s work and helping others, it means you are always going to be under attack! May God Bless your ministry of working with the disabled and mental misfortunites. And sharing your knowledge you learn and experience from and with others.
I just wanted to share a testamony of my husband and my best friend that just went to be with Jesus . . . his ministry was with the handicaped. Jeff and Helen went down to Florida over 20 years ago and have adopted, cared for and loved many handicaped, christians, unsaved, misfortunate and more for the Lord and during that time their lives were always under fire from believers, non-believers, friends, family and more. He is now with Jesus because of an accident he was just in while in Mexico during a missionary trip. Everyday was a testimony that he gave to others for Jesus and now “in his death” he still lives on in others that have overwhelmed his wife and family with stories, testimonies, gratefullness, thank yous, and so much more that my friend Helen has decided to have a memorial for her husband (which they agreed not to do because they didn’t want to draw attention to themselves) because Jesus showed her that Jeff has done his job as a stewart of Christ “A Job Well Done!” through others. And the reason I’m sharing this with you is that even though there will be trials and tribulations from others, that doesn’t mean you’ve done anything wrong and need to apologize for what you do to help others, you just need to look up and ask Jesus, “have I done a ‘Job Well Done?'”
May you continue to be blessed by helping others in their time of need with your knowledge, wisdom and experiences in life,
Sincerely,
Mary
You don’t have to post this…
So, it’s very nice. Is it a joke?
Or maybe a lesson with “Don’t do this; look here, a shocking bipolar outburst – isn’t it horrible?”
…And you have a lot of defenders and no problem (here it can be the joke).
Bye
Oh, I’m so impatient to see your photos…
Bye-bye
EXCELLENT
Dear David,
In your blog today you mentioned jobs available within your company, while staying at home. I am bi-polar but that doesn’t keep me from working, especially on computers. Wold you please lt me know how you can apply for a job with you.
Sincerely,
Mitch Kennedy
Hi Dave,
You have to get a thicker skin! This man obviously needs help, but does not want it from you. He’ll get it somewhere–or not. We can have hope for him, pray for him, but not let him get under our skin (which is what the manic rants of people with bipolar illness intend). I know from experience with my 2 adult children who have this illness. The rants are a defense mechanism to keep them from acknowledging their truth: They have an illness. As for making money in your businesses–what? You should not make any money from your efforts? Please! Do not let these sick rants affect you like you have. It only deters you from your goal of helping people. You don’t deserve to treat yourself that way…like you tell us, “They are sick.”
What a shame! So many people seem to get offended at the least slight that they imagine! I get it too and I do not run a business, just joined a few online support groups where people post the most intimate details of their lives, then get mad if you offer advise that they take the wrong way! Big hug, David!
David
I hope you “know” me well you realise I am not en enemy, but one who is prepared to speak out when – occasionally – you or any of the other bloggers writes something that I don’t agree with. Indeed, you know I have tried to be constructive in my critique and even given fre.e advice privately to you. So, I am not an enemy.
Enemies or friends, I try to understand them, to see their point of view. That’s not necessarily to join them! But you know the adage, “Know your enemy” because, if you don’t, you’ll probably lose! Similarly, when someone takes an especially hostile view against me, I try to understand why that is to because it just might be something I am doing, or how it ‘seems’ to them I am doing, that irks them.
I’m quite good at this, even though I say so myself. One of my psychiatrists said that’s because I’m Dysthymic! He reckons that Empathy is a skill that is particularly strong with Dysthymics. Now, I’ve not met this aggressor and I don’t know why he is so angry with you. When possible, I try to initiate a dialogue to gentle enquire why a person may think as they do or behave as they do. (To many peoples’ surprise, I did this once so I could better understand why the IRA w ere shooting and bombing people – I wrote to an IRA guy in the Long Kesh prison and I learnt a lot more than any of the news media could have told me and which no spokesmen for the Government would have dared to say! ) But I will try to shed my own beliefs and see if I can view you from a different set of ideas. Here we go – with the help of the Devil’s Advocate!
He obviously believes You that are in this “business” as a business, to make a lot of dosh by selling products to people who are so desperate that’ll they’ll buy anything because everything else seems to have failed or they haven’t a clue what to do or where to start.
‘Why should they think you’d do a dreadful thing like that?’ you ask.
Devils Advocate replies, “Because other do it. He, like many others, are not used to seeing people do things from the goodness of their own heart especially when they ‘appear’ to be making money out of the ‘magic’ solutions. Your correspondence and adverts are ‘hard sell’ and that makes him all the more think you are in this for the money.”
You asks, “why does he think I’m sick?’
Devils Advocate replies, “Because he thinks you are exploiting people like a snake oil salesman, and they ARE sick.”
You say, “(But) I don’t even pay myself a salary! The money I do make goes into paying the people who work for me and into new courses/systems to help even more people who have problems.”
Devil’s Advocate replies, “Why should he believe you just because you say it’s true? For all he knows you could be just another snake oil salesman, like we see to often selling all kinds of cr#p to save people from deadly illnesses. Cures for cancer, protection from heart attacks, etc. ”
You responds, “I have over 8,000 (maybe 10,000 we stopped counting at 8,000) testimonials from people who have written me thanking me for the courses/systems I sell that have helped them as supporters and their loved ones who have bipolar disorder.”
Devil’s Advocate replies, “Yeah, yeah, yeah … all the snake oil salesmen can conjure up loads of testimonials! Why should he believe you are any different?”
You say, ‘But real people say they have been helped!”
Devil’s Advocate replies, “Vulnerable people are impressionable. Impressionable people will believe anything if they want to believe it. Look at hypnotists – they can cut people, stab them, hit them whatever, and they feel no pain even though they are damaged – because they are impressionable believe what the hypnotist tells them.”
You say, “I believe he’s talking about the daily email I wrote about where I talked about how you can’t listen to forum posts where they just complain, or where they tell you what to do, and I talked about the military man I knew who said that it’s like going to a forum to learn how to be a soldier and fight in Iraq. (What’s the problem?)”
Devil’s Advocate replies, “Maybe because he think other forums have their – maybe he thinks having a bitch about your problems is a healthy release, maybe he thinks having a bitch about your problems will elicit moral support, may be hearing others bitch about their problems helps remind him he is not alone.”
You say, “How could he get this angry over that? I don’t understand it.
How could he say that was self-serving? How could he get that out of that?
Devil’s Advocate says, “Because he thinks you want the BP supporters and survivors all to yourself! So you can sell them your courses, and THAT would be self-serving.”
You said, “I employ several people who have disabilities, some even with more than one. Many who have bipolar disorder themselves. These people couldn’t work for “regular” businesses….Other businesses wouldn’t hire them because they had bipolar disorder or another disorder. They’re able to work for me, first because I was willing to give them a chance that other businesses wouldn’t, but also because I gave them the opportunity to w.ork from home that they couldn’t get anywhere else.”
And then asked, “Does that sound like a “completely sick individual who will have a special place in hell”?”
Devil’s Advocate says, “Yup! He probably thinks you pay them a pittance BECAUSE they can’t get regular work elsewhere, and throw them out whenever they get sick anyway.”
You say, “He is a very sick man.”
Devil’s Advocate says, “What?! In the words of Jimmy Connors, “You can’t be serious!” Just because he doesn’t believe you, that doesn’t make him sick! He’s probably just as hurt AND angrier because you call him sick as you are hurt by what he says.”
You say, “I am not greedy, like he accused me of being. If I was, there would be no new courses for people like you to help you manage your problems and your loved one’s bipolar disorder.”
Devil’s Advocate responds, “Hang on there just a moment – I just got to pick the buck shot out of your ass! Your critic is likely to think that a business expands when it’s doing well, not freeze. If business was doing well, he’d expect you to expand the range so you could sell more because that’s what most businesses do. Right? So, you’d not expect a greedy person to stop expanding their business. If their product was courses, like yours, they’d create new ones…”
See what happens when you look at things from the other guy’s point of view? Or at least TRY to look it things from their point of view? You may begin to understand why you are attacked.
(Aside: THIS is what Supporters need to do with their BP loved ones – try to understand why Survivors do what they do, why they say what they say. For example, if your loved one skips their medication, don’t just brow-beat them for not taking the meds – find out WHY they don’t want to take them! It may be something you can do to help in a way THEY will feel will help them RATHER THAT doing something only you think is helpful. For example, maybe they don’t like the side effects of the meds. Then help them speak with their pdoc to search for an alternative med, don’t just bully them into taking what they don’t want because that will make them more unhappy, more frustrated and more resentful of you.)
So, what should you do about this, David? You could just right him off as a nutter. I think that would be a mistake because he might NOT be a manic BP. You might like to consider if there is anything you could do to change how this person, and any others like him, perceive you. On the other hand, you might just accept there will always be people who will not like what they see, will always misinterpret who you are and what you are about. And they will! So do what you recommend for others: Sit and analyse the situation.
Consider: Is there something I can do to change things and avoid these kind of wrong assumptions, and if there is would be practical/economic to do it?
If there isn’t something I can do to change this kind of erroneous perception, just dismiss this negativity and move on with doing something more positive than dwell on what you can’t change!
I hope this helps.
Hi, David: Your response was 100% appropriate. You addressed what he wrote, but gave him way to remain in touch if his position changes. (If he is bipolar, shifting positions are part of the territory!) I would, however, urge you to keep copies of all his correspondence and your replies. If he becomes seriously fixated on you (he probably won’t, but just in case…) you may need to protect yourself. Are you in touch with any of his caregivers? If so, you may want to suggest that he visit his doctor and have his medication double-checked. If he is taking it as directed, this may need to be revisited.
Good luck, and thank you for all you do.
Claire
Dear David
Keep up the good work, I am very new to having a bipolar loved one (my fiance whom I am going to marry as soon as I get my Fiancee Visa to come to USA to marry her), she told me as soon as we knew each other, and she thought I would run a mile.
But to her surprise, I did not!!!!!!!!!!!!… lol
I love the girl, and I will help her with all the strength that God will give me.
I have learned, and I am obviously still learning, that bipolar is just an illness that properly treated, and with love and care from loved ones, can be controlled and a full and fruitfull life be lived by the person that has it.
So keep it up, and well done in all your work so far.
Kindest regards.
Juan
I know the email this guy was talking about and I was glad to get it. It’s a shame that he probably will post negative things on websites, I wish there was a way to know which ones they were so that those of us who agree with your opinion could also comment in order to counteract the negativity, because honestly…I don’t know where we ( my daughter was recently diagnosed with bipolaar) would be without your work and all of your emails. When I first started getting them I saved them (without reading them…I’m sorry) into a folder for my daughter so that if she wanted to learn more about it I would have them all and she could do that. Then one day a couple of weeks ago, she had a very bad episode and attempted suicide…yeah I decided it was time for me to step up to the plate and read them myself because the hospital wouldn’t admit her that night. they figured I was with her and she had an appointment with her therapist the next day and we could handle it. She was crushed! Thank God I kept them in her file!!! Now I read all of what you send and watch for them almost hourly because they have been so helpful. We ordered your book about the “Seven Secrets we should know about Bipolar Disorder” and received it today. When she wakes up from her nap it’s going to be the first thing she sees. Thank you David for all of your help and information!!!
Dear David,
The guy could have just sent the ‘unsubscribe’ at the end of the page, but alas, he is suffering and needed to vent. Perhaps he is frustrated because he cannot afford the courses you offer. I understand that frustration because I too want to purchase your courses, but cannot afford to do so. I however, would not take that out on you. It just happens to be my circumstance. I am afflicted with Bi-polar myself and learn what I can from the free information that I garner from your writings. He has said what he wanted to and now it is time to move forward and forget his belly-aching. Offer a prayer for him and forget it.
Dearndave,I’m writingmto let you know that often when I read your email and you advice ,that some times you have to take a little advice from yourself,you sound so shaken from peoples comments.Let me remind you the more peoplle are talking the more you are moving in the right direction and that you will have to take direct hits from negative people and keep on going,that’s life.they don’t have enough power to shut you down or turn the head from the milliohs of people that you have helped or the people that are gonna come forward because of the nagative comment ,just think he is helping you and making your job eaiser because someone is going to check you out ,out of curiosity because of the comment.so stand strong like the willow by the lake in the storm and let the wind keep blowing because it is a sign of change and you stop being so insecure about peoples comments because what have they to replace whatever you are doing in the first place no matter what they say.there will all ways be nay sayers and rock throwers but they serve their purpose,so when they step forward just say thank you for your comment today if not for you i could not do the work i am doing you are a perfect example of what i am trying to purport you know what i mean.god bless and stay strong in all things.for what is meant for evil god turns aroung for good for them who believe.grace and peace be upon you.A bipolar person who has been helped by you in many ways.
Dear Dave,just to let you know,some times take advice from yourself,don’t let other people’s comments affect you so.the more people talk the more you are moveing in the right direction,take the nagative hits and keep on moving.they don’t have enough power to shut you down or turn away the millions of people you have helped,or that will come forth becaue of these coments,they are just making your job easier,so stay strong,for the wind of change make you stronger.nay sayser and rock throwers can’t change what or replace what you are doing anyway,so keep in stride.thank them for their comments for they are a perfect example of the work you are doing and a great example of why you do.God bless you,for what is meant for evil,god turns around for the good for those who believe.I am one of those people that you help the work that you do,is much need,so unless someone can replace it with something better.don’t worry about negative comments.
Hello Dave,
What an awful, hateful email.. I myself have bipolar and have been on the wrong meds before and had similar outbursts toward my friends and family who still believe i am not on the correct meds. I love your free emails, etc.. and feel you do a GR-8 deal to help ALL of us with one disorder or another.. PLEASE keep up the good work as I read them everyday and they help me to make it through the day… You truly are a great asset to all of us…
what a freaking loon.you dont tell people there going 2 hell 4 helping people.he feels terrible.ABOUT HIS SELF.but God will forgive him.i hope.
Hey Mr Oliver pay this person no mind as any body knows we all have a esposide when we dont take our meds so take it like water to ice let it roll off your shoulder we know he was in one of his mode he’ll get over it and think about what he said especially trying to direct you to hell thats not nice at all anyway keep up the good work .
This mini course is a blog for David Oliver. I believe he needs lots of reasurrance from everybody. Which isn’t a bad thing. But if your offering mini course then offer a mini course.
Remember, Dave – “Sticks and stones…”but it sounds in your case, that you’re taking this person MUCH too seriously. He probably is just another bipolar survivor who got messed up with what you wrote, and, having no one else to talk to or vent about, went for your jugular, so to speak, to make HIMSELF feel better. As you know from the above 53 comments – there are LOTS of us bipolar people who derive sympathy and knowledge from your emails, and have made us better people in the long run.
So – just “take it with a grain of salt,” and move on – get that – MOVE ON. You can TRY and keep the vitriolic posts to yourself, so they don’t offend any of the others who read your daily emails; just “toughen up your skin,” and “delete, delete, delete;” I guarantee THAT will make you feel better!
BIG HUGS to all bipolar survivors and those who love us. May God bless you real good.
Dave, after reading this post, I felt it was time to breifly tell you about my success story that YOU made possible.
My 40 year old daughter had suffered years with a medically induced form of BP. She was committed 3 times and finaly gave in to our demands. We hauled her and as many belongings as we could get 1000 miles and got her into a competent Doc. She’s been episode free for these 2 years, healthy, happy and wise. well….
Anyways, she is now a mother of the most precious baby girl and we are estactically happy, knowing we’ve saved her life. She is also a happy person, finaly. She lost her home and lots of other things, but she’s regained a life.
I honestly could not have, would not have done it without your study program! If I hadn’t known how to get help for her, learned how & why to be insistant with Drs, hosiptals & police departments, she would be dead. I mean it. There is no doubt about this.
I just thought that after reading that silly email from some poor misguieded soul that I should tell you our story.
Hope this helps.
Bless you and all you do.
CherylAnne
I really appreciate being able to learn from your e-mails. Please keep it up. I was not familiar with bipolar until I started reading your material. My children and I have been on the receiving end of much verbal, emotional abuse and threats from my husband. I did not know what was happing to us. No one would believe us, they only saw the “perfect” side of him. Boy behind close doors…… It does not look like he will get help, at least I can read material that expresses much of what we have experienced. His mom feeds into the problem and blocks helping him. So I have felt very alone and isolated. At least I can have an idea of what is going on, even though there is no diagnosis. The “mean” response you received , is no where near the level of mean we experience off and on. I have gain much strength and understanding from you.
Thank you!!!!!!!!!!
Dave….I think it is so sad when people are so narrow-minded and can’t see whenn someone is trying to help others. I think it is admirable what you are doing. I have so much respect for what you have been thru with your Mum. I am living the horrow story with my son. He was diagnosed with Bipolar about 2 yrs ago. It has been a nitemare…al thru the juvenile court syatem…having been called every name in the book by judges and other who know nothing about mental health. At present my son, is in a county jail in Texas, in lock-down because someone tried to steal his food…and he fought back. they won’t do a psych eval because …they have heard it all before and it is just an “excuse”…thnak God for people like you …who take the time to care and try to get info out there for eveyone…you give us strength to keep going…you are a blessed man..thanx….Heather
Everyone has probably said what I may have to say here. But I am glad that you are willing to share what is happening to you. I don’t always respond every time. But for this subject matter I can see that there are needs that all have at one time or another. I am glad that you are able to help so many people and that they can afford to buy into the program. I am not able to do that. So I can only read what you have available for free with no extra costs. I do send this to one who has told me that what is sent is appreciated. So I am glad to be able to assist in that small way. It is good to know that you are making wise use of the support that is sent in, for the benifit of others so they can live and have a home. The Lord knows those who are doing their best in service to help others. I do hope that you have faith in the LORD Jesus Christ, for all that you are trying to do to help others.
Hi Dave:
It is pretty strong but when you are publicly exposed this kind of thing is going to happen. This guy obviously needs help.
I think the work you are doing is amazing. I don’t see you in the light this individual sees you because you are sending me the mini course and that’s absolutely free.
You have done a lot of research and if you were to get a salary for yourself so what? Every laborer is worthy of a salary. So keep doing what you are doing and God bless you for caring. We need more people in the world like you….Evelyn
Carmon, you said, “what a freaking loon.” I don’t think this is appropriate language for a blog that is visited by people with BP who are are trying to shed the image of being labeled “loons”!!!
I would add it does us no credit for assuming anyone who does not share our positive views about David must be mad! It smacks of the old Soviet view that anyone who opposed Communism must be mad, which was the excuse for throwing many dissidents into mental hospitals and pumping drugs them full of drugs for no good reason.
I think that the guy who threatened you is a lunatic. I am worried that this kind of behavior will be something I will be going through. I am going to on line college, I am studying psychology. I want to help people. Finally but not least, I am manic depressive, bi polar and suffer ADAH. I believe that your emails have helped me a bunch. I look forward to the emails each and everyday. I maybe one of the success stories. But I could not do it alone. I do everything people do with the help of God, my wonderful husband, my loving children, myself and you. Again thank you for being there, thank you for the emails, thank you for being a friend. I know I speak for a lot of people when I say: “Love you Dave, keep up the good work.”
David what Jeremy was talking about in the email is pretty much every link you enclose in emails is wanting someone to buy something. It gets annoying.
Hi david I just wanted to say people are only happy when they hear or get what they want people never look at the other possibilities. I myself suffer from bipolar I always start then stop my meds iam not in denial I just wish I was dead somethimes so I wouldn’t have to go thru this anymore or put my family thru so much my story in brief is I was going to school to become a doctor I wanted to leave my husband I had an affair got my car repo max credit cards snapped in anger tried to kill my husband lost everything there is not one day that goes by that I don’t hate my life even my children say that I use to be a doctor I do a lot of reading I write your emails down in a book I know what the problem is its just so hard to get thru but thanks for all the information you give it helps me understand more so thank you hope your mom is doing well:)
I think this guy has nothing else to do with his time but complain. Besides who say’s people HAVE to buy your courses. I have been a subscriber for about a yr and have never once been pressured into buying anything. That man needs to get a life!!!!! Dianne .
Dave;
Don’t let it worry you! Jeremy obviously has some major problem or problems. I find your comments and newsletters very helpful. Both myself and my wife are bipolar. Neither one of us is on any medication for it. We were. We both have stopped taking any meds for bipolar disorder and we are very happy. She has unexplained Grand Mal Seizures and I have a host of physical diseases like Spinal Arthritis, Degenerative Disc Disease, HBP, and history of stroke. I always learn something new from your newsletters. Keep up the good work and God Bless!–Carl
This man sounds just like me a few weeks ago until I went to a new physicrist and was diagnosed with bi polar disorder. I have asked some of my physicians that had diagnosed me with depression if maybe I was bi polar and they all dismissed my question as being unreal. I had problems with loosing my tmeper and also saying hurtful things to people. This man said I have been on the wrog medications and using the wrong techniques for years. When I told him that sometimes when I get depresside I sometimes go way below basment level and need a shovel to even get to basement level. Also hav spent money that has caused my self and others great problems.
Am niow retired and wishing had saved some of the money that I so foolishly spent on things that I could have done without.
This is one person that wishes that I could afford your classes. When you are physically ill you look for help in lots of different places so why not when you are having problems with thought process. People are still afraid to admit that they, not the rest of the worls has a problem. Do know that you have to learn to like yourself before others can. This is a dificult thing when you have depression or bipolar disorder.
Thank God that I finally got a correct diganoses.
Just knowing helps am going to therapy and trying to learn a different way of setting goals and gaining some sanity in my life.
Dear Dave, This guy sounds very angry. Maybe he never has had drugs and is just plain angry at the whole world. If he talks to you this way who else is he talking to like this. If he has a wife I feel sorry for her. You can imagine the hell she would be living in. Someone needs to reach this guy and get him some help to help him recognize that he has a fixable problem if he is willing to do his part.
First, I want to congratulate Graham on a very intelligent and insightful blog post. I hope that Dave and the bloggers read your post. You were spot on.
Dave, why do you put these letters up as your daily e-mail? What is your purpose in writing the e-mails? I thought it was to give bits of information about bipolar disorder, with thoughts for bipolar supporters.
What have you taught us today? Many, many times you have written e-mails telling us about what people have said or done that make you mad.
What does that teach us? Can’t you have the self-confidence to manage those things on your own? It really feels like you’re seeking praise and gratitude and reassurance from the people on your mailing list – and, boy,
do you get it! With only a few exceptions, people fell all over themselves to thank you and encourage you and praise you; many even felt so bad for you and told you not to be upset, etc., said they’d pray for you…
The definition of blog (verb) is “to transmit thoughts or feelings.” Not just the positive ones, but whatever a person is thinking. On any blog I’ve ever gone on (political, YouTube comments, etc.), there are always several differing points of view and some are downright rude. But it’s a free country, and a person is entitled to feel, think and write what they want to.
Of course there are exceptions. Profanity should not be tolerated (though I have seen some of that on other blogs). Certainly threats of violence are unacceptable… I’ve never seen such a posting on your blog.
Usually, the person who runs the website has set up security for himself because people do have strong feelings (for example, I would hope that no one on the blog would have any way of knowing where you live).
The man who made this comment was obviously very angry, vindictive, and doesn’t have a very high opinion of you. He didn’t swear, and he didn’t threaten you (except to say that he was going to say negative things about you on other websites, which is his right). He said he wants to unsubscribe, which is what he should do. But if he disagrees with you or has opinions about you, he has a right to those opinions. There’s no possible way to tell if he’s bipolar, on medications or not. Just because someone is not a fan of yours doesn’t make him mentally ill.
There have been times when you have said things that have angered me.
For example, several times you have said things that I felt were condescending to people who have bipolar or other mental illnesses. It irks me that you have the link at the bottom of your e-mail everyday that says, “See what people are saying about me.” What does that have to do with anything? Hundreds of comments of people praising you and thanking you, etc. Is it really appropriate to put that on your daily e-mail? People can form an opinion about you themselves by reading your e-mails and mini-courses (or full courses, if they can afford them). It seems to me that you talk too much about your employees (and you’re always certain to say that most of them have one or more disorders), and the problems you have with them sometimes. Dave, that’s just not professional.
I wouldn’t go so far as to say that you’re only in this for the money, but in every single e-mail you have links to your courses, and often you send special mailings to talk about courses you’re selling on bipolar and addiction, bipolar and spirituality, bipolar and financial… I mean, this stuff gets sent out ALL the time.
I don’t get so angry that I would write in the terms that this man used. But I do think that bloggers should be able to say how they feel, whether it’s positive or negative. That’s only fair.
My advice to you is that you should have enough confidence in yourself that you wouldn’t get so overly upset about a blog posting like the one you talked about today. Deal with it yourself, with your staff and friends, but don’t burden the people on your mailing list with it. It really looks like you’re begging for praise and for reassurance. I personally would like to see more e-mails that are a bit more professional, dealing with some aspect of bipolar disorder or information for bipolar supporters. If you believe in what you’re doing, if you’re comfortable with your motives, you shouldn’t be so bothered. In any field, there are going to be people with differing opinions, and even with anger. You shouldn’t let that threaten you so much.
And perhaps you should have another site where you post any job offerings; so many people get excited thinking they may get a job with you, when really the idea of your daily e-mails is giving information.
These are my thoughts in response to today’s e-mail, and I’m not being abusive, threatening, or profane. I hope I’ll see it posted on the blog.
Suzanne, I think you are right that this is the nub of the problem the guy has – everything else flows from that.
I think the “solution” may be to divorce the sales pitches from the daily email – i.e. no advertising or links in the daily email to product purchases, but sending the sales pitch ads under a separate cover – i.e. a different mailing.
DAVE, It seems most obvious to me that Jeremy was in an episode when he wrote that. I know it is extremely unpleasant to be spoken to like that, especially when being threatened with having your website closed down, being reported to all sorts of authorities, etc. I’m sure you know yourself from your own experience that it is all just talk and arguing or even trying to reason with someone in a bipolar episode is like shouting back at someone on tv when you don’t agree with what s/he is saying. My boyfriend said some extremely unpleasant things to me when in an episode and off his meds. He also kept ranting that he was going to have all sorts of shops, pubs and even tv stations closed down because they were working against God. He was going to make sure that his doctor and his psychiatrist were reported to the highest authority to be struck off, as they were in league with the devil. etc. etc. etc. Now that he is stabilised and back on meds he can’t even remember half the things he said and did during the episode and is rather embarrassed about it. As I have mentioned before, I would not have been able to see him through the episode and continue our relationship without your help and valuable information about bipolar disorder. Keep up the good work, Dave.
GRAHAM, I love your style of writing. You should really try to get something published.
I fill that this GUY was very wrong to say what he said. If you don’t like what is posted then block the email address. I also don’t pay a thing for the information that is sent to me and I realy like it and injoy it because it helps me to help my daughter that just turned 14 on the 23rd of AUG. that was just dinossed with bipolar and put on meds. for it. She was not doing her school work and turning it in on time. She wouldn’t do what she was told when she was told to do something, Now she will do what she is told when she is asked to do it. THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR THE INFO AND KEEP IT UP! Don’t worry about the MEAN GUY
Dave, I am a supporter of a very dear friend of 19 years. He was on medication for a short time and seeing an excellent doctor but then decided he didn’t need the medication nor did he need the doctor. What a nightmare he is!!! He is a lot like the person who sent you that horrible email. I want to thank you for all the help you have given me in trying to deal with my friend John. Your articles have given me strength and courage to face everyday of not knowing what to expect except I know it only gets worse. I kept blaming myself because I thought I was doing something wrong and probably even making things worse for John. I prayed hard to the Lord for an answer and that’s when I came across your site. I truly believe my prayer’s were answered. Thank you for bringing some sanity back into my life. I still can’t seem to help my friend but I now realize that I can’t do anything until he is willing to admit he has a problem and is willing to seek help. Believe his is not at that point. He has anger for everyone and everything and somehow it is all my fault. The difference is, now instead of feeling hurt, I can have a better understanding of his thinking and actions. When John was on his medication, he was so easy to get along with, and he seemed to have joy in his life. Now like I said, he is angry and bitter all the time. I, myself, wouldn’t have gotten this far if it weren’t for your words of encouragement. Now I just hope and pray that my friend will go back to his doctor and get back on his meds. I would love to see him smile and enjoy his life again. Needless to say, he is the most stubborn person (even more stubborn than me) and I realized the less I push him, the sooner he will take the step forward. He needs to have it to be, “his idea.”
I feel very bad that this person that wrote such a vindictive email to you will find some peace and contentment in his life. For all the lives you have helped and for all the positive emails you have received, surely out weigh the negative emails such as which this man sent you.
Hi Dave
I’ve read a couple of things people are saying and there are people that is saying you should not defend yourself but I think it’s good that you do give your point of view as to keep quiet about it. From what I experience from your program you defiantly have something good out there and I really think you can help a lot of people but I would like to know more about this angry person’s point of view and want to try and understand why he was saying those things as well. I mean one can assume lots of things here why he was so angry. There could be a lot of reasons for his anger. There is also the possibility that his intention was to make a joke for instance what might be his sense of humor and is being misunderstood. I know I might get hammered for saying this but the best I would say to go by this might be to here both opinions and then try to understand both sides of the story. Well it’s my opinion, I’m still learning.
Hope the energy of anger and hurt can be change into something positive like love and tolerance.
Have a great day
David, Thanx for your efforts and concerns… stay safe … above all know that the majority of us just love the stuff you are up to adn look forward to your posts in the e-mail… Hang in there … I am Bi-polar, ADHD, And have PTSD … so what… i have medication that I take diligently … friends that are all clean and sober … you guys and my Creator that watches over me … and you … take care buddy … WooD!
Hello David,
I’m a neophyte, where your “courses” are concerned. I’ve just begun receiving info. regarding your mission in your life in regards to helping others through your own life experiences re: your mother with Bi-polar. I’ve got a sister; 5 yrs. my elder whose diagnosed Bi-polar; is 56 y/o now & the past 6 months during her manic episode w/delusions has been a “nightmare”; progressing worse day-by-day. Since then; we’ve made headway & several significant interventions in her life are being implimented; however; I’ve not been directly affected by her disorder until perhaps 3 yrs. ago & “esp. now; following her most frequent episode” I’m wanting to learn all I can about the mechanism’s of her bi-polar disorder, how I can “be aware” & how I “can help”. Admittedly, my husband mentions that any information I try to learn can be forund “on my own” & “at no cost”; but my feeling is “Where will she end up as the result of her manic or phase of psychosis during which time I’m trying to compile information & get her the help she need’s? She’s got a 76 y/o father who want’s nothing to do with her, a 49 y/o brother “in jail”; can’t care for himself, let alone support her need’s, a 74 y/o mother who tries to be there for her; but is financially limited to what support she can give; but tries to be of emotional support & deals with some of her verbal abuses during her mania. Even then @ her current age; I want to be able to support my sister as she passes-away. She’s hard of hearing & I live a 2 hr. drive from her; but E-mail her practically every day, in order to “keep her in the loop” & then my sister has me; but I’m a “long distance” supporter to her @ a 2 hr. dsitance from her also; although it’s not uncommon for me to make phone call’s concerning her on a very freq. basis. I thank God; she’s currently under court appointed commitment & she has a Social Worker who works closely with her & involves me in her care plan; without her support, I’d be lost. None the less…I Welcome the opportunity for your offered resource information, compiled over months & years of research. Many of the isues it present’s, you have answers to…seem to fit what’s going on with my sister. So “meanwhile”; I’ll continue to persuade my husband to allow me to receive your informnation as, it sounds invaluable & I feel that your time is definitely worth what your asking for what you offer to others. God Bless You…Linda
Thank you, Nightlady! Maybe one day I’ll actually finish the novel I’ve been writing on and mostly off for the last 10 years.
Dave, I’ve been getting your Bi-polar and BPD newsletters for some time now.
Obviously, Jeremy’s angry, but maybe you should learn from what he’s trying to say, rather than dismiss him, or just trying to defend yourself against his comments. He’s probably crying-out for help, and doesn’t know where to turn. I was also on the verge of asking you to cancel, because I feel I’ve gleaned relatively little knowledge for all the time I’ve spent reading. Your posts seem to say “I have the answers, but you must first go here and buy my materials.” I’m sure I’m not alone in that I just don’t have the extra money to spend on your materials.
THEN you came out with the “What she’s NOT hearing” post, and WHAM! – did you hit the nail on the head with that one! I had thought my wife had “simply” “turned-off” after menopause, and her constant nastiness towards me was due to a hormonal imbalance (for which she refuses to get help); but she twists things and claims I say things that I didn’t/wouldn’t, just as explained in that post. So maybe she has BPD too.
Early on, I had sent you an e-mail asking for help. I was desperate because a friend had suddenly turned on me. I was totally DEVASTATED and CONFUSED, until a mutual friend wrote asking ME for help, because she too had suddenly been “trashed.” I pressed her for more info, and she told me that our friend has BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER. Thus began my quest to try to get answers – something that’s been very difficult, because of the complexity of the illness, its many manifestations, and the sad fact that it’s little understood, even among “professionals.” I realize, Dave, that you can’t answer every message, but, still, I felt hurt that you didn’t “care” enough to get back to me. There was no one to turn to.
Three years ago I went to my 40th-year high school reunion. My wife refused to go. The empty seat next to me at the dinner table was a painful reminder. I hate doing things alone – I mean, isn’t one of the primary reasons to get married to SHARE things with someone you love? So my wife was already “dysfunctional” at that point (and probably much longer – we’ve been married for 31 years now). I can best describe the place I’m in by the closing quote from one of the episodes of “Gray’s Anatomy”: “Living with someone who doesn’t love you is worse than living alone.” Most men would have left her years ago, and, sure, that thought’s gone through my mind, but, you know, it’s hard to actually go through with that, although she’s done many things that are hard to forgive.
Now, before I go on, let me state that I have been faithful to my wife. Always.
At the reunion they handed-out a list of classmates, with contact information. After being shocked by the list of those who had passed-on, I focused on the name of a girl who I had a crush on, but never told her. I was extremely shy back then, at least partly because of the tremendous setback of losing my father to lung/brain cancer right after school started. My friend had moved to California, and I was surprised that she had still retained her maiden name. (Turns out she had had a son, planned for many years, but didn’t want to get married, so the biological father would have no further obligations). It took me a week to get up the courage to e-mail her, and I was THRILLED to get a very enthusiastic reply back. Over the next 16 months we sent each other a THOUSAND posts (as she likes to call them), and even called each other several times. We helped each other through crises. We never had an unkind thing to say. We had SO much in common, it was uncanny, to the point that we became psychic about each other. We were soul mates! Then, she suddenly began reading things into my posts. Misinterpreting them. She told me that she was suffering Clinical Depression, and to back off, until she got back to me. After I was informed about the BPD, and being unable to sleep when reading about the very real possibility of suicide I wrote to her son and a select few of her/our friends, telling them what I knew, and stressing that I cared and stood ready to help. I was totally shocked when they turned against ME, rather than offering to help. They hadn’t been treated the same way, and just didn’t see it, and somehow saw me as a villain or something. On top of that, she got hold of the post to her son, and sent me a very angry response. After sending her two Christmas cards (one from me to her, the other from our pets to hers) she responded with a certified letter saying to not contact her or her friends or she would take legal action. In that letter she also made some very hurtful and untrue comments. How did we go from “Friends forever” to “Don’t contact me…”?
My friend was tortured in high school; many of the other kids were nasty to her…something I never knew back then. She says she STILL has nightmares about those days. I assumed she was popular. To me she was cute and funny. When she was 20 a biker followed her to her apartment and raped her. She was still a virgin. How can anyone be “normal” after all that. She suffers OCD, and especially hoarding. Her townhome and garage are filled with boxes of “stuff.” I can’t help but feel that I was punished because of what others have done to her.
My own take is that we’re all “crazy.” We just have different concoctions of syptems, and to different degrees. God (or nature, whatever your perspective is) gives you creativity to balance the craziness. Otherwise, wouldn’t we all be boring? I hate “tags” but I also have symptoms which would indicate that I am Bi-Polar and also have ADD and OCD. I’ve held-down a creative position at Bell Labs, but it’s one-thing-at-a-time for me. I’m not good at multi-tasking.
The whole story is, of course, much more complicated than I could write here. It would fill VOLUMES. In short, my friend broke out of her shell and went to Woodstock with some musician friends, at the suggestion of a psychologist. She decided to move to California after receiving a call from The Beach Boys to come work for them. She became a Roadie/Road manager for many of the musicians/groups of the time, including The Eagles, Crosby & Nash, The Climax Blues Band, Dr. John, and even John Lennon. She home-schooled her son, and he became an actor, with her as manager. You’ve most likely seen him in movies and on TV. She shared some remarkable stories with me. I’ve been careful not to give out her identity, which is why I don’t even mention her first name.
I’ve read that “Borderlines leave a path of destruction,” which I’ve experienced first hand. Yet what they do to people is due to their condition, and not something they do intentionally. Supposedly it’s different than having a dual personality. Apparently they “destroy” those closest to them, while others don’t even see a problem. The “victim” is left reeling with lots of unanswered questions.
Friends as well as professionals have advised me to “look for another friend.” I’m not going to give up on her that easily. Some even say that a Borderline can never love ANYONE, which I find too sad to be able to accept. But MY friend is a one-of-a-kind. I want her to get better. I want her to be my friend again.
BUT IN MY SEARCH FOR ANSWERS, NO ONE HAS BEEN ABLE TO TELL ME HOW TO DO THAT. HOW TO GET THROUGH TO HER.
Dave, I would welcome the chance to sit down and talk with you. I drive by your office every day on the way to (and from) work – quite a coincidence, huh? And I won’t charge you, if you don’t charge me!
I believe we could learn a lot from each other. I’ve talked to my older son about this whole thing, and he says he decided to go for a psychology degree because he wanted to help people AFTER A HIGH SCHOOL FRIEND TREATED HIM THE SAME WAY THAT MY FRIEND TREATED ME! I too would like to help people, and feel YOU’RE in a position to help people more than you do now. If I’m in so much pain as a Supporter, imagine how hard it is to actually live with a mental illness?
Most Sincerely,
Pete
To PETE: Although I don’t know much about borderline personality disorder, I AM a person with bipolar disorder, and I know first-hand what damage I can do when I’m in an episode.
When I’m in a full-blown mania, I make wonderful friends, who are BFF; they believe my delusions, and look to me for support and affection. But – once I’m hospitalized, they desert me, and act as if they don’t know me.
What you describe with your “friend,” sounds suspiciously like an “emotional affair,” though you state you NEVER cheated on your wife. What you must realize is that she is SICK, and has no control over her outbursts or negative treatment of you or her other so-called “friends.” While she may appear perfectly “normal” to others, she will always hurt the ones she purports to love – it’s just a “symptom of her illness.”
I suggest you forget about her – as hard as that may be right now – and pay attention to your wife. If you MUST have an outside influence, go to church, or a bar, or even on-line dating. But don’t hold on to a dream that your friend will ever “come around.” It ain’t gonna happen…
Dave, Please answer this question. Why do you write the word F.ree and not Free ? There is a big legial difference here. It’s not a type-o, it’s to constant. If your saying “Free” say so, otherwise I’ll have to disregurad what your trying to say. Please answer this e-mail. Trust means being clear in what your saying. If theres a charge “for anything” at this web-site please advise me now. I don’t mind paying for info. I want to know when I’m spending $$$$…. thank you Karl
Dave, thank you for the email. I appreciate your being in contact with me as I am a new subscriber. I just found your site on Friday as I was searching for answers to my friends problems. Even forwarding this to me, was a act of kindness as I can’t afford your packet at this time. I am a minister and I do by best not to give up on individuals that most people give up on normally. I don’t want to be that one more person who gave up on them. So, by forwarding the email of Jeremy, it gave me more examples of the behavior pattern that I so often see in a course of a week. I havent yet had the opportunity to confront my friend as he is extremely private about the possibility that I suspect he might be bi-polar or have some sort of disorder. But so far everything that I have read from your site has that indication. On friday, I was at the end of my rope and needed some sort of answers and your information and the story of your Mom’s history and how you got started, was a ray of hope in this situation for me and my friend. I will be buying your course study, It will just have to wait as since I have been helping my friend, My finances have suffered as well. But I thank you for being so open to put as much information out there for people to read that is for free. I also know that you must have sacrificed so much in your journey of research that what you are now getting back is a small portion of what the costs are of contininuing to help others. May you continued to be blessed as you are obviously blessing others. Many thanks to you!
Shawna
I am not BP, but I support someone who is. I take great exception to someone using the word “loon” on here!!
Anyway, my point. Dave, you make a business here from your knowledge, experience and research with BP. You know more than any of us on here about mental illness. Yet you choose to post – and publically mock – someone clearly going through an episode. You do this for your own self-publicity. If you have not learned enough to know that this person has issues with himself that he is merely projecting on to you then I am shocked! You know his message wasn’t really about you or your courses. I’m amazed you gave the message a moment’s consideration!
You clearly help a lot of people across the world. Keep doing what you are doing and be happy with the positive comments you get (and the money you receive from your courses). You are working in a field full of people with mental illness. If you do not EXPECT some messages like that one, you clearly haven’t done as much research as you should!!
I think the guy fell off his rocker. Some people are just plain angry and mean. In my opinion I don’t think you are any of those things that person said. Oh and for the record I haven’t purchased your book because I get so much good information from most of your emails which are free so I know you are not trying to get rich off of my illness.
just a friend,
Janette
suzanne: Thank you SO MUCH for your thoughtful response to my long post, and your generous personal insight. I realize that the odds are against me; that my friend will never come around…not unless she gets HELP and suddenly realizes what she’s been doing to people. Until then, I’ll be a lost soul.
I can’t give up that easily. Yes, I’m a dreamer, but she really meant something to me. I can’t express what a great connection we had.
Have you seen this ad on TV (concerning friends and mental illness)?…
http://video.stumbleupon.com/#p=mwjjftex2f
(I’ve also placed it in the Website link, so, hopefully, you can just click on it).
This video really touches me to the soul, because it depicts how you have many friends in various situations, but then they disappear when you have a mental illness. In the ad only one comes through when you really need him. THAT is the person I’m trying to be to my friend.
Suzanne, you must be really hurt when your friends abandon you while you’re in an episode, yet you suggest I do the same to my friend?
People seem to want to dismiss “sick” people. Watch the news, and see the reaction when someone is doing something out of the norm. They are tagged as being “crazy,” as if they are worth less than “normal” human beings. It’s a sad situation. We all need to be better educated.
I wish you (and everyone here who’s struggling) PEACE and HAPPINESS.
why does this guy have to be having an episode?? why does he have to be ‘off his meds’. people can have angry reactions to things without being ill. and meds dont mean that an episode wont happen. sheer ignorance prevails among this board and it sickens me to think some of you are supposedly ‘caring’ for someone.
tbh it just seems like mails like this one are for your own benefit, to soothe your ego from the poor nasty sick man. just because someone thinks you are an ass does not mean they must be ‘having an episode’. sounds more like they are gaining clarity to me.
Hi Dave,
Everyone’s got an opinion. He was harsh, nasty but it’s his opinion. You don’t have to post these types of emails. What good does it do to rehash nastygrams?
Peace!
Do not know if I can reach you this way. I have been on 500 mg of Seroquel since September 2006 for Bipolar Disorder. I have gained 50 pounds, from a size 8 to a 16. Most of this was gained the first six months. I worked as a fact paced waitress before Seroquel and ate anything I wanted, stayed a size 8. I am 42 years old. I am on my feet 12 hours a day, running at work. I can’t eat even small meals, I keep gaining weight. I have had lab work done, my blood sugar is now high, my thyroid function is having a problem I do not understand. My metabolism is just about shut down. My hair is falling out in handfuls. I cannot sleep at all without this medication. Trazodone and Ambien are a joke, I take them and they have absolutely no effect. I did not know until now that there is a problem.
Please let me know what is going on and if someone gets this email that works with you….HELP!
Neva Smith-Hardy
In reference to Donna’s post on 01/28/09: I have learned not to tell people that I work with that I have bipolar disorder. My reasoning is this: at my last job I was very open with my supervisor about my condition. She betrayed my confidence and betrayed me by telling my co-workers. Therefore any time I got sad or angry I would be asked in front of everyone including customers if I had taken my medication that day. This is so embarrassing. At my new job no one including my employer knows anything about my condition. It is ashame that people watch these commercials on TV about bipolar disorder and come to the wrong conclusion about us in their ignorance.
Neva409
Probably someone manic and off their meds themselves – typical verbal assault while manic.
Look carefully. There is no “threat” in the message.
Granted, the tone is aggressive. The person is angry. He or she might have been better off constructing a more objective, courteous message.
But stating that one is distrubed by the actions of another is not threatening behavior. He or she is so unhappy that he wishes you misfortune.
The writer states intent to block you from his or her flow of internet traffic, and to express his/her strong opinions to friends. All of this is well within anyone’s rights.
Perhaps you are rightfully offended, annoyed, or surprised. Naturally, no one expects you to like everything people post.
But I think it makes a richer discussion to include these strongly opposing arguments. In fact, if only those in agreement are afforded credibility, there is no discussion, but rather an ongoing advertisement.
Whether or not I agree with the negative content of the post, I do very much endorse each person’s right to say what they think.
It is counterproductive to write off every opposing voice as that of a person you automatically assume is acutely ill with bipolar symptoms. There is no evidence to support that, it is an assumption.
If it doesn’t apply, let it fly, and move on. No need to make those who disagree seem like “threats.” There is no threat – only something you’d rather not hear. Let it go, let everyone enjoy their right to free speech.
But a “threat” is a statement of intent to harm another person, and a clear indication that