I want you to know that I look forward, everyday, to getting your email. I have bi-polar disorder, and when you were describing Micelle, you were describing me to a T (all except all the husbands, I have only 1 ex) Its amazing.

Dave,
I can’t even count the number of people who tell me I’m spinning my wheels on my 9 year old son who lives with bipolar ,that He is a lost cause. That tell me I am wasting my time. I don’t even bother wasting my time arguing with them anymore I have better things to do with my time. thanks for your support and helpful info. It lets me see I am not alone and not crazy for not giving up hope.

HI David. keep up the good work with your 1st class Bipolar blog.
I was self told that I had Bipolar Disorder in May 2008.
Heard your podcasts. Interesting….
I have been trying a while to get in touch.

Dave. How do I get a FREE copy of your Bipolar Disorder book that you mentioned in one of your blogs some time back?

You are right, it is amazing when you have a plan. I take my medication, see the doctor, and have an amazing support system.
Unfortunately my friend, Mary, has a 26 year old son who has bipolar. They have no plan and she has washed her hands of him. She tried to get him to take his meds. When he was living at home, Mary would watch her son take his meds. She also has a critically ill husband. When he was in the hospital, the son would not take his meds because his mother did not make him. He doesn’t think he needs them. She could not be in 2 places at one time.
Eventualy, her sister stepped in so she could care for her husband. They have an amazing family. The son went to live with his aunt. At firse things went well. The aunt made sure he took his meds, saw the doctor, everything that Mary was trying. The son went into a manic episode. He tried to kill his aunt, stole her car and is now locked for a long time. He was found not competent to stand trial. He is in the state hospital but can be sent to jail if ever found competent.
Poor Mary has washed her hands of him. I feel sorry for her and the son. An adult shouldn’t have to be forced to take their meds – for any illness.
I have a plan. I want to take my meds. I have a few side effects – mostly a dry mouth, but that just means I drink enough water. That is good for me. I like being stable and I like the person I am when my meds are working. I am getting more stable as I get older. I was recently able to take and pass – with flying colors – my medical license her in India. When first diagnosed 11 years ago I would have never dreamed of doing that. I was just struggling to get through each day without killing myself. I’m so proud of myself for the progress I made. The only kink in my life right now is a husband with ADHD who won’t get treatment. He’s like living with a manic person all the time. So I am using the tatics my mom used on me to get me stable. They are working.
I’m planning for the future and working on improving my life every day. That is all I know how to do. I have a deep religous faith (Hinduism) and pray and meditate daily. That helps. I know the g*ds will protect and watch over me. My plan works. It’s not for every one – it needs to be personalized for each individual.

I am also “Michelle” without the drugs. Too many allergies!! My problem is I know I am bi-polar, but can’t find a medication that I am not alergic to. I’m also going thru menapause and have just been diagnosed with a low thyroid. When we start to fall apart….we really fall apart.

Dear Mr. Oliver, The two books I found helpful are both by Patty Duke. Patty duke performed on Broadway nightly then went home and destroyed her room. She went to live with her managers and went to many doctors as bipolar did not have a name at that time. She was so relieved when finally diagnosed as bipolar and given medication to control same. The second book is “A Brilliant Madness” aslo Patty Duke and each chapter by her is followed by one by a medical professional. It is readable and understandable.. Time has passed since these were written but as i am dealing with 2 children that are bipolar they helped me. The older child was diagnosed in USNavy so gets meds and psychitric help from the VA. Psycictric help is minimal not much help. When I sent her this info from you she did not read it. Maybe will.. Maybe Not. My son also in service but Marines is presently in jail. He was on much lesser meds than dtr but also refused to take much of the time. They think their Dad-deceased was also manic, From what I have read salesman and artists and musicians benefit from teh “high” of a manic episode. They are just hard to live wiht. BB

if you have bipolar,or no some one whao does, give them all the support and love they so much need

Excuse me? Too much hope for the hopeless?? Can’t do well in life? Boy those sentiments make my blood boil!! Cuz I happen to BE one of those ‘hopeless, can’t-do-wells’ those whomevers are talking about. If not for hope, what do I have?? Sure, I technically have everything I always wanted–wonderful family with a great husband and 3 awesome kids, a good job, a home we own, etc. But what good does it do me when I can’t appreciate it b/c of my condition? What good does it do me when I can only see the negatives about it all b/c of my condition? What good does it do me when I’m so ‘broken’ that I have to LEAVE that home, husband, children, and job and stay with my mom/supporter for some time BECAUSE OF MY CONDITION!! All I have left to me now is hope. The hope that I’ll find the right medication to treat this condition effectively. One that will set me back on my feet, give me back my equilibreum, give me back the ability to appreciate and enjoy and FUNCTION WELL in my life. I have to cling to that hope, or I would just give up. Check myself into a mental hospital and let them do whatever they want to me. I’d rather stay with my supporter while I find my answers than to lock myself completely away from the world. And I need that hope for my future in order to keep trying. Those detractors have no right to take this away from me, and others like me. For some of us, it is only hope that keeps us together in the slightest…and keeps us going. My family needs me and I need them. I have to keep the hope that I can recover stability and return to them full-time. I HAVE TO HAVE hope. It’s as necessary for me as air. No one has any business or any right to try to yank that away.

Dave,
I know just how things happen that had happened to Michelle. I too am in the same boat, so to speak. The credit rating I have is hopelessly bad, My house (which I own free and almost clear) is threatened to be taken away from me because of back taxes, which I’m very upset about. I have a job ( been there 6 1/2 months now which is good, longest job I kept was just 6 months, so I guess this is an improvement). I have had the worse last 14 years imaginable. Got kicked out of my housee cause I lost my utilities, lost my blazer, lost my dog, and was homeless. ( Yes, I have family and had a friend, but no help). I didn’t know from one day to the next where I was going to stay, and that is the scaryest thing in the world to face. I am bipolar, have chronic anxiety disorder, and not sure if I have anything else or not, I’ve never been tested for anything else. I have no supporter to help me, so I’m doing this all on my own. I guess I’m doing alright, I am back in my house, I have a new puppy, I still have my job, 6 1/2 months now. I still don’t have a vehicle, or a clue to how I’m going to get my taxes taken care of. The county I live in doesn’t have any type of help in that area, or much of any other kind of area either for that matter. Well I guess I’m just rambling here so I’ll shup up. Ya all have a great day and take care!

I thought about the question you brought up “what makes the difference between someone who has a total disaster of a life with bipolar disorder and someone who doesn’t.”
I have many questions that I would like answered of this nature as I’m sure many others do to.
Like, if a person commits suicide, are they automatically assumed to suffer from mental disorder?

To answer the first question, only the person living with the illness knows what it’s really like to experience the “disaster” that inflicts or influences the mind. The condition is as individual in the mind of the sufferer as is that we are separate and unique individuals on this earth. We should not conclude that one solution works for all since no one has been cured from these disorders.
People that do not have the condition and have not researched or have lived with or supported someone with conditions of mental illness should not encourage someone to not take medication, seek therapy, or advise to not seek any help or assistance sought for the betterment of the disorder.

Having a plan and taking the meds, doing therapy etc… is not a cure and dose not guarantee positive results, but, it certainly gives one HOPE- The kind of hope to keep going, to never give up and to make the choice to help yourself.
You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make them drink!
One has to have the desire to partake in their destiny to some degree. There is always a choice to make, even when you decide to not make a choice; it’s the choice that you’ve made.
If one is to remain functional able, the willingness to participate in the process of doing so is a must, keep an open-mind – have self-acceptance- be able to appreciate constructive criticism – possess the attitude to make changes and not resist the idea of study, suggestions or options.

Today is a good day for me, I don’t know what tomorrow will bring, so, I enjoy the special moments when I do feel a sense of normalcy, confidence and assurance that Life is worth Living. I may not understand its purpose, but I know that we all have purpose.
To all the people in the struggle- Keep HOPE Alive, Be Encouraged, and Never Give Up on yourself or the supporter.

I had this problems well a lot of them. Didn’t know what was going on till I start reading about bipolar. My condition is associated with multiple personalities as well as a lot of other disorders. Thanks to you Dave I found new hope in trying to get out of this hopelessness of constant manic depression. I can’t wait for your newsletter every day. The sad thing about this is that many people don’t even know they got it and think that is the way life should be, but the opposite is true. Life should be about happiness and no compromises should be made towards that.

I got the following message from a doctor whom I have been corresponding with concerning my problems with my family. Although this is not related to the topic of the day, perhaps many of the supporters can relate to this:

“Many of your family members feel frustrated; they don’t understand your illness; they take everything personally; they think somehow you are “at fault” for all of your symptoms and problems; and they don’t know what to do.”

You would not believe all the trouble and torture my family has caused me. They don’t understand. And, on their standpoint, they are frustrated with me. I think I am going to send them all a copy of Dave’s Bipolar Support course. I think that may help.

i need to tell you youve described my life too…and finally at age 36 i was diagnosed ad bipolar. with medication ive finally pulled out of the tailspin i called my life and have begun to rebuild the pieces that are left. im writing to thank you for your insight and directions you are sending me each day and also look forward to each one…im finally stable enough to recognize im sick and can crawl toward wellbeing each day instead of oblivion. thankyou…angie

I am looking into bipolar for my daughter because her husband was diagnosed with bipolar. He was in a Charter Glade treatment Center I believe in Ft. Myers, FL. for a week. He was on medicine, but probably for financial reasons and the concept that he felt better, he did not continue it. My daughter and her husband have been married for almost 23 years the last of September. Here in Illinois he had a few jobs and then went to an automotive school in St. Louis through a Federal Loan. He said he knew everything they were teaching and dropped out. IRS is taking his tax refund away and my daughter is an injured spouse for income tax purposes and she gets her refund. She had a job of 2 1/2 yrs before they moved to Florida in 1993. One physically handicapped daughter was born in 1990 in MO. He bought things by credit card and she was a yard sale girl.
He has had probably 50 jobs in all this time. She just graduated from college in Florida this past June. He left her probably in 2004 for 9 months, but she did take him back. Even then, their marital issues even included his choice of sexual activities. This factor is in his dad”s family. In 1994, in Florida, they had another child. In 2000, his mother is now the legal guardian of the 2 girls especially for financial and medical reasons. Eventually, his father and mother divorced for sexual reasons and now he has remarried. My granddaughters are 18 and almost 14 yrs old. They see their mother quite often and the 14 yr old calls her mother all the time. Just this July 11, he left her again for difference in sexuality preferences. She is having a hard time financially and emotionally. Even his stepmother’s brother is spreading rumors about my daughter as they both work at the same place. Her husband has been on my space and even states he doesn’t know his sexual orientation. I pray for my daughter and have to use mental training to keep her from hyperventilating on the phone. She started church w/her daughters, mother-in-law and her sister and will continue.

How can I help her more? She has to fill out papers for her federal school loan to get a deference, but she works about 32 hrs a week where she has been for about 3 years in October. She needs a kick in the butt to tend to things sooner. She is off only on Tuesday. She needs further schooling to be certified to get a job in the field she got her college education.

Her husband gets more hour, plus bonus, plus mileage for trips for his job and works 40 hours per week. He has worked about a yr. and gets $12.17 an hour. She gets $9.35 an hour.

Thank you,
Brenda

I think you’re right, David. I’d like to think I have a chance to have an “ordinary” life (as I have had in the past when I have had a good support system, which I don’t have now because I have “screwed up” too many times.) I have only been hospitalized three (Once when I was 29 and once when I was 41 and then a couple months ago at age 59) You can accomplish anything you want to and be relatively happy (hmmm, it’s interesting I would choose the word “relatively” because my relatives aren’t exactly supportive, in fact, our relationship is luke warm at best.) I don’t look to have happiness as much as I look to have stability. I believe stability is the key to success. I would say to anybody out there “Don’t give up and don’t succumb to self medication and self mutiliation,in whatever form. Love yourself. We all have something positive (if not somethings positive) to contribute to society and our loved ones!

Dave,
You are right. I have bipolar disorder and you described me and my life to a tee!!! I am at the crash point now, where it all comes to a head because I can’t hide it anymore; can’t act normal. You are wonderful and whenever I read an email from you it makes me feel like I’m not alone. I also feel like I had a quick therapy session. Because of the episode I am in, I can’t afford any of your tapes, or books. I wish I could. I’m sure it would be a great help. Thanks for what you do. Please don’t stop.

if anyone wants to e-mail me and share their stories, I would love to connect with other people who have Bi-polar, my e-mail address is;
Cantrill.christine@Gmail.com
Keep fighting all of you, there is always light at the end of every dark tunnel!!

Dave,

You do not expect too much from people. A solid plan works. Plan the work and work the plan. You have laid out all the systems. If a person establishes a system and follows the plan, great improvements CAN be made. Look at the olympic champions. The have a plan; they get results.
This has made all the difference to me.
Griff

hey dave , i have bi polar disorder and am like someone u previously mentioned . I am not on medication , i don’t think my case is that bad yet, although my husband and family and friends would disagree. I do tend to lash out and spend money stupidly , I have burned alot of bridges but u know i believe that in the times when I am having a episode that is when i need people around the most , mainly because all i need is support . Support and help coping is the key for me to get through the episodes . Question is it part of my bi polar thing to crave attention , I am being all honest when I say I have to have attention most of the time or I get in that depressed stage ?
Jesseca

Please don;t ever stop hoping, just add more hope. I have met so many naysayers in my life that I almost gave up, just settled for a spiritless existance instead of living. I am still trying to put together more support, have been free of any mania for a long while now, but am getting down quite a bit and that is largely because I am just coming to terms with having another serious physical illness also. myself, and the world at large needs all the hopeful people we can get so please keep it up.