Bipolar Supporter Blog

Hi,

How’s it going?

I want to tell you a quick story about how I thought of today’s topic. Yesterday was crazy.

You’re never going to believe what happen to me yesterday.

Okay, so I late last evening I had to go out to the mall to pick something up.

I was driving along and guess what?

It started to snow. I HATE driving in the snow. I HATE it. Seriously.

So I was too far along to turn back.

I called a friend and asked if it was suppose to snow a lot. My friend said the weather said no.

So I just drove on.

Anyway, I went to the mall. I got what I had to get.

Then all of a sudden Macy’s was ordering everyone out IMMEDIATELY a little before closing.

Then they announced that you could only get out of one door in the entire store. This store was HUGE.

Every door I went to was locked. Even the people working their didn’t know which door was open and you could get out.

Finally I found it. Guess what?

I was in the lower parking lot. My car was in the upper parking lot.

In order for me to get their I either had to walk on the road with cars sliding all over the place and risk getting hit (there was no side walk) or walk in the snow and grass and climb a huge fence.

I decided to walk on the road. There where little kids walking with me with their parents. They were crying because it was so darn cold.

Cars were driving fast towards us and sliding. I told everyone to be careful.

So we were going to the parking lot where all our cars were. Guess what? We had to walk up this huge hill.

The hill was like a sheet of ice. I almost fell three times.

Everyone, including little kids, women and men were sliding, falling and couldn’t really make it.

One kid had boots and got to the top and took my bag so I could focus on climbing myself.

Then we made sure that everyone climbed up the hill safely.

It was crazy.

It reminded me how many mental health hospitals work-crazy!

So then, I get in my car, turn it on to let it warm up.

I then get out of my car to clean it off and then when I went back to open the car door…guess what?

It was locked.

I was sooooooo mad. I couldn’t believe it.

The car was locked with the car running.

I had no food, water, warm clothes. EVERYONE left as well. All I had was my cell phone.

I called American Express and they were super nice to me. I don’t know why I called them, I couldn’t think of anyone else to call. Anyway, they called a tow truck that came in 45 minutes to open the door.

I was so cold.

Now while I was sitting there, I had nothing to do but think and be cold.

Winter sure is here and there is an important bipolar lesson to learn from it.

I don’t know if it’s snowing where you are, but it sure is up north!

Michele, who works for me, says she had a huge blizzard her way the other day, and couldn’t even go outside!

It made me think of something:

There are two types of snow…

The one kind that is the kind that you wish for on Christmas…

You know, the one where the flakes are really pretty, and you sit inside all nice and cozy, and watch them slowly drift outside your window, but they don’t stick to the ground or anything.

Then there’s the huge blizzard kind, like Michele was talking about – the huge ugly kind, that overwhelming kind, that keeps you inside all cold and everything, and piles up on the ground and no one can even drive on the roads because of all the snow and ice.

It reminds me of bipolar disorder, and the two different ways you can look at things.

You can look at things as the “first snow” kind of way, where things just kind of come down in a slow, easy way, and you can handle them.

Or you can see everything as overwhelming, keeping you inside for fear of facing them, because they’re too hard.

Of course, which way you approach things is up to you.

I teach in my courses that your approach to things, whether you see them as something you can handle or as something that is overwhelming comes from your attitude.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
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SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
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HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
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So it’s up to you and your attitude.

If you have a victim attitude, then of course everything that happens to you is going to be someone else’s fault. You’re going to feel like you don’t deserve anything that comes your way, and everything is too hard to handle.

Obviously, that’s the hard way.

And you don’t need to have a victim mentality anyway, because you aren’t a victim. You’re a survivor.

If you have the attitude of a survivor, on the other hand, you’re going to have the “first snow” kind of attitude, and you’re going to believe that you CAN handle everything that life throws your way.

If you have this kind of attitude, obviously you’re going to get much further in life.

As a supporter, which attitude do you think is going to help your loved one more, the first one or the second one?

Your loved one needs to have a good attitude in order to get better.

And they’re going to be looking at you to be a good example.

So if they see that you are trying to not let things overwhelm you, then they will try that, too.

Try taking things just one day at a time.

Try making your life simpler rather than complicating it.

The less stress, the better – for you AND your loved one.

If there are things you need to get rid of in your life, then get rid of them (like those big snowstorms).

If taking things one day at a time is even too much for you right now, then start with taking things one hour at a time and build up from there.

It can be done.

It just depends on your attitude.

So which snow will YOU decide to have?

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME
Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

How’s it going today?

I saw this child in the grocery store the other day with his mother.

Now, this kid couldn’t have been more than 4 or 5.

Usually, kids that age are tugging on mom’s sleeve, wanting this or that, screaming or yelling, and causing general havoc to everyone around them.

What made this child different was that he was just walking down each aisle looking at everything like he was amazed, like everything was brand new to him – like he was seeing everything for the very first time!

When I go to the grocery store, I just go in and get what I need, and leave, don’t you?

I’ve been there so many times, that it’s just a chore for me.

How could anyone possibly find it exciting and new?

But remember, now, I’m an adult, and things like grocery stores no longer hold any allure for me.

Maybe I’m just getting old… LOL

But I kept thinking about this child even as I left the grocery store and went on with my errands.

For some reason, he had left a big impression upon me.

What if we could all stay like that child?

What if we still looked at life that way?

Like everything was still new and exciting…

Like there was wonder and awe in little things…

New things to still explore and delight in…

Instead of being “adult” and “mature” about everything, so grown-up that we forget how to be a child and just enjoy life?

Just because your loved one has bipolar disorder doesn’t mean you have to lose the perspective of a child.

Just because they have bipolar disorder doesn’t mean you can’t still be happy.

Just because they have bipolar disorder doesn’t mean you have to go around like you have this chip on your shoulder all the time.

In my courses/systems below, I talk about the hope you can have that your loved one can become high-functioning – that if they stick to their treatment plan, they can have stability:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
Having bipolar disorder isn’t the end
of your life.

You can still have a “normal” life between episodes.

In fact, you should be living as normal a life as possible so that stability becomes a reality and there are fewer episodes in your loved one’s life.

I’m not saying to go bungie-jumping or anything just to have excitement in your life, but there are other things you can do to make your life enjoyable in spite of the bipolar disorder.

It’s all in your attitude!

Think about that child in the grocery store.

What made him different than other kids his age?

His wonderment at the things around him!

You can have that same wonderment again.

Try to see the beauty in the things around you.

Enjoy the simple pleasures in life.

Be grateful each day that your loved one is not in an episode.

Do things together that you both enjoy.

These things don’t have to be complicated, extravagant, or expensive.

I know a couple who both have bipolar disorder. And one of the things they both enjoy doing is playing board games together, like backgammon.

They enjoy just being together and talking. About “everything” and “nothing,” they say.

One of the greatest pleasures in life is simple companionship.

Having family around you.

Going through old photographs.

Watching the birds in your backyard.

Seeing a movie together.

Reading books side by side.

Cooking a meal together.

Going on a date (no matter how long you’ve been together).

Watching the rain (or snow) fall outside your window.

Take a lesson from the child in the grocery store.

Try to see the world from a child’s perspective again, and you’ll be much happier. Don’t let bipolar disorder steal your joy!

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME
Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

I hope you’re having a good day today.

Hey I wanted to clear something up.

I wrote the other day that I wanted to send out daily bipolar emails later on some days.

Some people though that I was going to only to send a few a week instead of daily. This is NOT the case.

What I am considering doing is sending three emails a week later than normal.

Meaning I would send them out later in the day like around 10am or 11:00am EST.

Make sense?

Okay, I had a disturbing conversation the other day, and I wanted to tell you about it.

I was at a support group meeting (you know I volunteer at a lot of them in different places), and a girl came up to me after the meeting and we started talking.

She said that she’s afraid to make any plans or do anything or go anywhere.

I asked her why.

She said that she was afraid of having an episode.

I told her that most people with bipolar disorder only have only one or two episodes a year.

She said, “Yes, but I never know when that episode is going to happen.”

I tried to tell her that hiding out, not doing anything or making any plans wasn’t going to help her or her disorder.

She seemed to get defensive, and I didn’t want her to get mad at me, but I still thought she should know more.

I said, “You need to learn more about bipolar disorder. It might help you.”

I guess she got mad at me anyway, because she just walked away.

But I didn’t think I did anything wrong. I think she didn’t know enough about bipolar disorder to understand that staying home hiding from the rest of the world can actually HURT you and can make your disorder worse!

To say nothing about how frustrating it can be to your supporter and your relationship with them.

In my courses/systems, I teach that you just can’t live in fear of when the next episode is going to strike. If you are managing your bipolar disorder correctly, then you should have no fear.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
I really didn’t mean to offend this girl, but maybe she just didn’t understand what I was trying to say, or maybe I just said it the wrong way.

If so, I’m sorry. But I really don’t want people with bipolar disorder to be misinformed. That’s one of the biggest reasons why I started bipolarcentral.com and started sending out these daily emails. I want people

to have the best information possible. Hiding out at home, not doing things outside the home, not going anywhere, not doing anything enjoyable, and living with the fear of when the next episode is going to strike is like living in a bipolar prison.

It’s like waiting to die!

And bipolar disorder is NOT a life sentence!

So many people are living quite normal lives even though they have bipolar disorder. That’s what I really wanted to tell this girl.

Figure it this way:

Say you or your loved one didn’t have bipolar disorder.

But you know that flu season comes around every year, right?

So you probably do the smart thing and get your yearly flu shot, like most people.

But do you live the rest of the year in fear of getting the flu?

Does it keep you hiding inside, afraid to go outside?

Does it keep you from having a normal social life?

Does it keep you from seeing friends and family?

Does it keep you from doing the things you enjoy?

Does it keep you from making plans?

Does it keep you bound up in fear? That’s the main question.

No one ever said that you or your loved one won’t have another episode. You/they probably will, in fact.

But if you’re doing the things you need to do to manage the disorder, there’s no reason that you should not expect to live a normal, healthy, successful, productive life despite the fact that you or they have bipolar disorder.

Many, many people do.

They don’t live in fear of the disorder, and they don’t let it control their lives.

They don’t hide from the disorder, but they don’t let it make them hide from the rest of the world, either.

If they did, they would isolate at home, and isolation is a trigger to depression, and depression to a bipolar depressive episode.

And you don’t want that, do you?

What do you think about this?

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME
Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

How are you?

Here is today’s news.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews413

Harris Judges Vote For Felony Mental Health Court
DO>Hmm. What do you think of this?

Heart Risk Cited In Newer Antipsychotic Drugs
DO> Kind of scary don’t you think?

Kerry: I’ll Take Viewers Inside My Tortured Mind
DO> Wow this is very strange.

Physical Activity, Mood And Serious Mental Illness
DO> I have been saying this for years, right 🙂

SPH Doctoral Student Uses His Own Bipolar Disorder To Create Policy
DO> This is great, don’t you think?

Are You Bipolar? Unethical Drug Company Hopes So
DO> Hmm. This is terrible. Shame on these people. For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews413

POST RESPONSES TO THE NEWS HERE
==>Help with ALL aspects of bipolar disorder<<==

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:

http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hope you’re doing well today.

Hey, I wanted to ask you something.

It’s getting REALLY hard for me to get up 365 days a year super early and type up these bipolar daily emails. I have been doing it for a long time.

I wanted to send out probably 3 messages a week a few hours later. I would probably send them out at 10am or 11:00am instead of 7am or 8am. This is all in Eastern Time.

Would that be okay?

If not, let me know on my blog by posting a comment.

Also, I sent out a questionnaire asking for some suggestions for new articles that we will be posting on our main bipolar website. I only sent it out to a small group of people and I got a huge response. Thanks.

We’ll be working on the articles that many people suggested.

Okay, I want to ask you something.

I was in the mall the other day, and this couple was fighting.

I mean, they were really going at it, shouting at each other so loud that I thought everyone in the mall could hear them!

I just wanted to get away from them, because I hate confrontations.

But it was like everyone was kind of attracted to them like moths to a flame – you couldn’t help but stare, because they were making such a scene.

I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop. I just wanted to go on with my shopping, but like I said, everyone was kind of gathered around this couple, and I couldn’t get by.

The only thing I could hear clearly was, “I’m not responsible for you!”

And the other person said, “Yea, well, I’m not responsible for you, either!”

Then I guess everything just broke up, because I was able to get through the throng of people.

But I couldn’t help thinking about what this couple said.

“I’m not responsible for you!”

And, of course, you know how I relate everything to bipolar disorder.

So I was thinking about whether a supporter is responsible for their loved one, and what that would really mean.

In my courses/systems, I talk about how important the role of a supporter is:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
But is part of the role of being a supporter to actually be “responsible” for their loved
one?

I mean, as adults, are we really responsible one for another? Or just ourselves?

And I don’t mean that selfishly, don’t get me wrong.

I just think that each of us has to take responsibility or ourselves and our own actions.

Like, take a parent.

Are they actually responsible for their child’s actions?

Or are they just responsible for teaching them right from wrong and hope they do the right thing, make the right choices and good decisions?

The best parents can do is to be the best role model for their children and hope that their children will take good responsibility for themselves.

Well, as a supporter, that’s all you can do, too, I think.

You can be the best supporter in the world, but when it comes down to it, your loved one has to take responsibility for their own choices, decisions, actions, and behavior.

They even have to take responsibility for who they are. They can’t blame that on you, or even on the bipolar disorder. Really. I’ve been to some of the support groups where I volunteer and heard people with bipolar disorder say that they blame the disorder for the way they are.

They take no responsibility for their behavior or their actions – they blame it all on their disorder.

So should you take responsibility for your loved one?

Or should they take responsibility for themselves?

If they’re an adult, shouldn’t they be responsible for their own behavior and the consequences of that behavior? They should know the difference between right and wrong, so why should you take responsibility for them?

Let me ask you this:
Does your loved one take responsibility for you?

Or do they trust that you’re mature enough, intelligent enough, and competent enough to take responsibility for yourself?

And isn’t that what we all should do?

Agree or disagree?

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME
Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

Hope you’re having a good day.

Did you know there are TWO “YOU’s”?

Yep.

There’s the inner you and the outer you.

You don’t have to have bipolar disorder to have this apply to you – you can be a supporter as well. It actually applies to all of us.

There’s the you that you show to the world.

That’s the person you want everyone to see, and it has to do sometimes with wanting to be perfect, with wanting to please other people.

It’s not always a good thing.

But there are some good sides to your outer you.

It’s also your good qualities –

If you are a good, kind person, and you try to help people, for instance.

If you volunteer at your bipolar supporter’s group, for another example.

If you go to church and you’re involved there, that’s a good sign of a good outer you.

But some people don’t have a good outer “you.”

They treat people mean, they only think of themselves, they don’t treat people like they should, etc.

But I bet those people don’t have good attitudes, either.

I bet those people are very negative people.

In my courses/systems, I talk about something very important to good mental health – having a positive attitude versus having a negative attitude, and how what you do on the outside reflects what’s happening inside you.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
Having a positive attitude is so very important to keeping your inner you healthy.

Your inner you is where you keep your self-esteem, your hopes and dreams and wishes, and your REAL self.

It’s the part that you don’t necessarily show the rest of the world, because it’s also where you keep your fears.

But with a positive attitude, you can also overcome those fears.

With a positive attitude, it makes it so much easier to deal with the day to day issues that come with being a supporter of a loved one with bipolar disorder.

And that isn’t always easy. You want to show a good outer you, but sometimes your inner you does get frustrated, hurt, and angry.

And that’s ok, because those are very real (and very common) feelings.

But you can keep those feelings in check by having a positive attitude.

So you see what I mean by having two you’s?

And how a positive attitude can balance the two?

You do need that balance in your life in order to maintain good healthy mental health, bipolar disorder or not.

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME
Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

How’s it going today?

You know I like to hike, right?

Well, I was hiking the other day, and I saw this tree.

I know, you’re probably thinking, so what? People see trees all the time, what’s so special about this one?

Well, there was something special about this one.

Let me tell you about it.

This tree was really tall, thick, and bent.

You could tell it was really old, but some of its limbs weren’t fully formed.

There were holes in this tree.

Its trunk was not very pretty.

You could tell this tree had been through some pretty tough times.

BUT…

Its roots were strong…

Its upper limbs were free…

Its leaves were full…

And its blossoms were beautiful!

Ok, ok, I know what you’re thinking…

You’re wondering what this tree has to do with bipolar disorder, right?

Well, I was looking at this tree and thinking about how it has so many parallels to life.

In my courses/systems, I talk about bipolar disorder and how to manage it, and how to deal with it on a daily basis. Some people have had to live with it a long time, and it hasn’t been easy.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
Which brings me back to this tree.

I told you about how this tree was bent and not straight.

Life’s journey isn’t a straight road either, is it?

Especially a life that includes bipolar disorder.

I talked to one survivor who called it “a bump in the road I certainly never expected.”

I told you this tree had some limbs that weren’t fully formed.

So it had some flaws in it.

Don’t we all?

Especially people with bipolar disorder.

In fact, another thing I go over in my courses/ systems is the stigma still associated with people who have bipolar disorder.

Unfortunately, even family and friends are still ignorant about the disorder and may tend to stay away from you just because they’re scared or they don’t understand it.

One supporter told me, “We’ve lost all our friends and even some of our relatives. My husband’s own brother won’t come around any more, because he’s afraid he’ll “catch” bipolar disorder from my husband.”

Some people sacrifice the beauty because they only see the flaws.

Anyway, back to this tree…and its holes that I described.

We’ve all had holes in our lives, times when things went wrong. Gaps where we made mistakes, wrong choices, bad decisions.

It happens every time there’s a bipolar episode. It’s the one of the consequences of the disorder.

But can there be good despite the bad?

This tree was old, you could tell.

Yes, it had its flaws. But it was strong.

Its leaves were full, and its blossoms were beautiful.

Your loved one has bipolar disorder.

No one can argue that it isn’t easy. It’s hard. Sometimes it’s very hard.

But it DOES get better.

There CAN be good despite the bad.

It can bring you both closer together if you let it. If you both look at it as a common enemy that you have to fight, you can defeat it.

You can learn to have control over the disorder, instead of it having control over you.

You can do things to manage the disorder.

Like that tree, still standing strong after all these years and everything that must’ve come against it, you can learn to be strong and to stay strong, no matter what comes up against you, too.

Your loved one’s bipolar disorder may not get cured, but THEY can get better!

They can get STABLE!

That tree looked like it had had a rough start, but if you looked at the top of it, it sure looked like it came through ok – remember its full leaves and beautiful blossoms?

Your loved one can come through ok, too!

If they take their medication and stick to their treatment plan, there is no reason that they can’t live a  ormal,
productive, stable, happy life with you.

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME
Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.