Bipolar Supporter Blog

Hi,

How’s it going for you today?

I was reading an article in Reader’s Digest recently on ways to hide all sorts of things.

For example, they talked about how to hide extra weight just by the way you dress, or by
the way you accessorize the way you dress.

And how to hide your personal identity (especially on the Internet) so that you don’t fall prey to identity theft.

This was an important one, and if you go online a lot, you can check with your Internet provider for help with this.

You can hide from phone solicitors by getting on the National Do Not Call Registry by calling: 1-888-382-1222.

You can hide your phone number from people by having it unlisted by the phone company.
Then it doesn’t even appear in telephone books.

You can even hide your bad breath by nibbling on a sprig of parsley or lemon rind, or
drinking a cup of black or green tea.

But although this was an interesting article to read, and it did have some practical information on how to hide your things (and yourself)…

It didn’t tell you that there are some things that you can never hide.

Like your bipolar disorder.

In my courses/systems, I talk about how telling people whether you have bipolar disorder or not is a personal choice.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
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SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
And that’s true, it is a personal choice.

But if you have bipolar disorder, you still can’t hide it from yourself.

You’ll always have the disorder (unless they find a cure for it).

You can’t hide from the fact that you have to take medication every day for the rest of your life in
order to keep from going into bipolar episodes.

Even if you choose not to tell others that you have bipolar disorder, they can usually tell –
especially those closest to you, like friends and family.

And you will never be able to hide your bipolar disorder from your supporter.

Unless you’re perfect, which none of us are.

Even with medication, there will be times that the signs and symptoms of your disorder will
be there anyway.

And you can’t hide them from your supporter.

You shouldn’t even try, because for one thing, the stress of trying to do that will just make you worse.

But mostly because your supporter cares about you – they wouldn’t have stayed with you if they didn’t.

They just want to help you, and they can’t do that if you try to hide your bipolar disorder from them.

Your disorder isn’t going to go away.

There’s no use trying to hide from it (or to hide it).

Are you still trying to?

Is it helping you or hurting you?

Have you stopped trying to hide your bipolar disorder? What happened?

If you are a supporter reading this and your loved one is trying to hide their bipolar disorder,
how do you feel about that?

Hi,

Happy Memorial if you live in the United States and celebrate it.

I hope you doing great today whether you are or you aren’t.

Actually I have to get going today because I am doing a bunch of things but first wanted to send this out really quick.

You know, there are a lot of hard things in life.

Growing up is hard.

Going to college is hard.

Making a marriage work is hard.

Raising children is hard.

Getting along with difficult people is hard.

Making things meet financially is hard, especially in today’s economy.

Having, coping, and dealing with bipolar disorder is really hard.

But THIS is when it is HARDEST:

Here’s an email I got about it:

“Hi, Dave,
Just wanted to tell you how very
effective your emails are to give
down-to-earth information to many
areas for those who suffer the unasked
for condition of bipolar disorder. I
have a wonderful friend who works
hard daily to made a productive life
for himself but seems to be constantly
punished for his disease especially by
his immediate biological family, who
should certainly know better. They
seem to have targeted him as the
family scapegoat and constantly
remind him that they certainly
aren’t mentally ill. I could smack
every one of them! Andrea Farrell.”
—————————————————–

This has got to be one of the hardest things of all for someone with bipolar disorder to deal with –

When not only does your own family not support you, but they actually BLAME you for your own disorder!

This family is obviously grossly misinformed.

Let me state a couple FACTS right here and right now.

First of all, bipolar disorder is a chemical imbalance of the brain.

You don’t get it because of something you did or didn’t do, like having a childhood disease or doing drugs or something.

BIPOLAR DISORDER IS NOT YOUR FAULT!

Second of all, most scientists believe that bipolar disorder has a hereditary element to it.

In other words, that the disorder is passed down through the family.

So these people may THINK that none of them has a mental illness, but I bet if they look, they’ll find someone who – if they don’t have bipolar disorder – at least suffers (suffered) from major depression!

But the main thing here is look what they’re doing to this man!

It’s called STIGMA. It’s very common, and it’s very ugly. And we have to fight it every day with bipolar disorder. That’s why I talk about in my courses/systems below:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
Look at the words:

“They seem to have targeted him as the family scapegoat and constantly remind him that they certainly aren’t mentally ill.”

That’s STIGMA.

That’s what people do to another person who has a mental illness.

Do you hear the FEAR in that statement?

People generally fear what they don’t understand.

If these people took the time to really understand bipolar disorder, I’m sure they wouldn’t treat this man the way they are.

Especially because he seems to be doing everything he can to manage his bipolar disorder, according to Andrea’s email.

He sounds stable, which is what we all want for our loved one, and we know it isn’t easy.

We also know they need our support.

Can you imagine:

“…but [he] seems to be constantly
punished for his disease.”

What if this were you?

How would YOU feel?

Do you think you would want to get stable?

Or do you think you would just give up?

Hi,

How’s it going?

Sorry again yesterday that the bipolar news was late.

Today is the day before Memorial Day and I have a friend who really has problems.

Well, at least he thinks he has problems.

He can never get things right with his girlfriend.

That’s because he’s always saying the wrong thing.

And he just doesn’t get that.

But it’s not all his fault, you see.

Like the other day…

His girlfriend asked him, “Do I look as good as when we first met?”

So my friend said, “Sure.”

He thought he was saying the right thing.

So then she said, “Does that mean I didn’t look good before?”

And then my friend just lost it. He didn’t know what to do.

He told me he absolutely does not know anything about how to deal with his girlfriend, and
was ready to give up on women altogether!

Well, after I stopped laughing…

I told him that you have to have a system.

See, I have systems for everything.

For one thing, I told him, you have to remember every special event.

Not just her birthday, but every anniversary of everything – the first day you met, the first time
you kissed, each month (year) you’ve been together, etc.

That’s a system!

Well, you have to do the same thing with bipolar disorder.

Everyone who has bipolar disorder and their supporters have problems.

So you have to have systems.

And there have to be steps in these systems.

Like if you had a little house fire, you wouldn’t call the firemen right away, would you?

First, you would try to contain the fire by yourself…

Maybe use the fire extinguisher?

You would not get all hysterical and call 911 and scream that your whole house was burning
down.

That’s like my friend saying that he was giving up on women completely!

Well, a bipolar disorder system is like using the fire extinguisher first, before the entire house is on fire, before you have to call 911.

So, let’s say we’re talking about a bipolar episode here.

Let’s talk about the parts to a sample system.

The preparation part would be learning all you can about bipolar disorder, so you can be informed.

The very last part (the calling 911 part) would be having to hospitalize your loved one.

So now we have to work on the parts in between.

The next part might be establishing a relationship with your loved one’s doctor, psychiatrist, and
therapist.

But you can’t do that until your loved one signs a Medical Release of Information form, so that might come first.

The important thing to remember here is what I recommend in my courses and systems: that you do this when your loved one is NOT in an episode, so that they know what they are doing. You also have to get the form notarized.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
So you should sit down with your loved one and involve them in this system. The more the two of you can work out this system together, the better.

It should include:

• Loved one’s patterns & triggers
• Signs & symptoms of episode
• Phone numbers of professionals
• When to call them
• What to do if episode happens
• When to seek treatment
• When to hospitalize
• Etc.

Any other specific things that the two of you can come up with to put in your system can only help your loved one.

The best thing is to write everything down, including phone numbers, and to keep it in a handy place.

What about you?

What kinds of systems do you have in place?

How do they work?

PLEASE FORWARD TO YOUR FRIENDS

Hi,

How are you?

Here is today’s news.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews431

Proteins Implicated in Brain Disease
DO> VERY interesting article.

Bipolar Man Comedy Tour
DO> What do you think of this?

Bipolar Patients often Relapse: Study
DO> This is unfortunately very true

Tips for Getting Insurance When You Have a Pre-Existing Condition
DO> Great article, take a look.

Upton: Help Protect Your Child’s Mental Health
DO> If you are a parent, great article

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews431

POST RESPONSES TO THE NEWS HERE

==>Help with ALL aspects of bipolar disorder<<==

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

I hope you’re doing well today.

You know, we’ve all made mistakes.

And we’ve all made them for various reasons.

Some have been made because we just didn’t know any better.

Some have been made because we knew better, but we thought this time would be different.

Some have been made because we depended on someone else and they let us
down.

And some have been made because we took something for granted that we shouldn’t
have taken for granted.

Well, that’s something that you just can’t afford to do when it comes to bipolar disorder.

What am I talking about?

Well, I’m talking about medication, for one thing.

You just can’t take for granted that it will always work for your loved one the way that it is working now.

It may have to be changed some time in the future.

Another thing is that you shouldn’t take your loved one’s treatment team for granted, either.

If your loved one has a good doctor, psychiatrist, and therapist, you both should be very grateful.

Reward these people by always having your loved one show up for their appointments, and
show up on time.

Your loved one can’t take for granted that these people always know how to help them, either.
Your loved one has to help their professionals to help them, by giving them information.

Remember, that these professionals are not mindreaders. They only know what you tell them.

Also, don’t take your finances for granted.

Always put away something for a rainy day, because you never know if/when you’re going to need it.

That’s just sound financial advice, whether you are dealing with bipolar disorder or not.

That’s just one of the things I teach having to do with bipolar disorder in my courses/systems:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
Don’t take your relationship for granted.

Especially because your loved one has bipolar disorder.

The disorder can sometimes seem to take over your lives.

I know, because supporters tell me that all the time.

It’s important that you keep close communication with your loved one, and that you don’t take things for granted, like how they are feeling.

It’s also important that you share your thoughts and feelings with your loved one, because you can’t take for granted that they know these things, either.

But the most important thing is that you do NOT take your loved one’s STABILITY for granted!

If you do that, the whole stack of cards can fall down around you.

If you take your loved one’s stability for granted, you won’t make plans for an episode, and one can sneak up on you, and then where will you be?

If you take your loved one’s stability for granted, you won’t be watching for signs and symptoms of an oncoming episode, and you might miss the warning signs.

Then the bipolar episode will be upon your loved one before you know it, and they may end up in the hospital, all because you took their stability for granted.

Have you ever had to deal with an episode in your loved one because you started taking their stability for granted?

What happened?

How did you handle it?

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

How’s it going for you today?

I am actually really annoyed. My computer is driving me out of my mind. It’s amazing to me how long you can waste trying to do the simplest things.

For some reason my MS word has a mind of it’s own. It took like 45 minutes to get it back to how it’s suppose to be.

Someone once asked me, “do you think that the people who make bipolar medications use the medications themselves?” This person was making the point that if they did, they would make them easier to take and have no side effects.

I said “no” and also said, “do you think the people who make programs like MS word
use the programs themselves?” She said “no way.”

LOL.

I agree. The people who make these computer programs simply can’t use them or they would know they were messed up and fix them, right?

Okay let’s move on so you don’t have to hear about my ongoing struggle against my computer.

I have to share this post with you from Danielle, because it is VERY important:

“Dave, I have to ask you something. First let me
tell you what happened. See, I was really unhappy
with my life. So I broke up with my boyfriend
and I started seeing this other guy. I dyed my hair
cuz I hated the way it looked. Then I went on a
diet and lost a bunch of weight cuz this new diet
pill was so great, but I had to go off my bipolar
meds cuz I couldn’t take them together.

So then of course I had to go shopping and I spent
all this money buying a whole new wardrobe.
I moved to a new apartment. I stopped seeing my
old friends cuz they were bringing me down and
judging me and holding me back and everything.
But that was ok cuz I made new friends and that
was great cuz they were a lot more fun and we
started going out a lot and I drank a little bit but
only socially, ya know?

I quit my old job and got a new one and even
started my own home business which was going
real good, but the next thing I knew I was in the
hospital in a manic episode, which I don’t understand.
So here’s my question. Where did this episode come
from and how did it happen? I was doing just fine
before it. Danielle.”

———————————————————–

Now, you know the first thing I’m going to say, right?

I’m not a doctor, psychiatrist, therapist, or any other kind of professional, and I don’t know this woman personally, so I don’t know all the details – I don’t know what she left out of her story -so I can’t give a professional answer.

But I do have a lot to say personally based on my experiences and other people’s experiences and all the vast research I’ve done on bipolar disorder.

And this post sure screams out MANIC EPISODE to me!

But let me go through the points one at a time.

There is a lot that Danielle did wrong to cause this episode.

First of all let me say one thing, though –

I am NOT saying that it’s not ok to change things in your life. Change is ok. But not all at once, like Danielle did.

Changing everything all at the same time is a recipe for disaster for someone who has bipolar disorder, as you can see by her story.

But anyway…

The first thing she did was break up with her boyfriend. Which is ok by itself, but may have been a rash, impulsive decision, as indicated by the fact that she immediately started seeing another man. But again, I don’t know all the details, so I’m only making an educated guess here, but there may have been some risky sexual behavior involved.

Then she dyed her hair. Women do that all the time, especially when they want to change something about themselves, so I’m not even going to go there!

But then comes something very, very important.

She went on a diet.

Now, in my courses/systems, I talk about how you need to be on a healthy diet in order to manage your bipolar disorder. But she’s not talking about a healthy diet here. She’s talking about taking diet pills.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
This woman took diet pills to lose all that weight. So there’s another mistake she made. Do you
know what that was?

She didn’t check with her doctor first.

Then she made the most DANGEROUS mistake of all!

SHE WENT OFF HER MEDICATION in order to take those diet pills!

NEVER go off your bipolar medication by yourself. Always check with your doctor, and listen to what he/she says.

Going off your bipolar medication by yourself is almost a sure way to go into a bipolar episode, which is why the rest of the things began to happen, all symptoms of a manic episode.

Danielle “spent all this money buying a whole new wardrobe” indicating excessive shopping, or spending of a lot of money, which is one symptom.

She changed apartments, which was an impulsive decision.

Paranoia can be a symptom of a manic episode as well, like when she said that her old friends were judging her.

She then said that she (quickly, impulsively?) made new friends, began going out and drinking. Substance abuse is another symptom.

Quitting her old job, beginning a new one, and also starting her own business all seemed to happen too quickly not to be impulsive as well as probably overwhelming when it caught up to her.

When all these things caught up to Danielle, they were probably like a high tower that toppled all at once down upon her, as manic episodes often do to people with bipolar disorder.

It’s no wonder that she ended up in the hospital, where she probably needed to be stabilized with medication.

She asked, “Where did this episode come from and how did it happen?”

I would say that it happened because she went off her medication and then began exhibiting most of the classic symptoms of bipolar mania – impulsivity, excessive spending, substance abuse, risky sexual behavior, poor decision making, bad decisions, etc.

Have you or a loved one experienced similar things as Danielle?

In other words, have you tried to do too much at once or gone off medication and ended up in a manic episode?

What happened?

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

How’s it going?

I saw this post on my blog at
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarsupporterblog:

“Hi Dave There is something I have
not read about in your emails. I wonder
if there have ever been studies done about
the effects of tobacco use or nicotine with
bipolar disorder. My father was a mile
mannered gentleman who was liked and
respected by most people.

He was a heavy smoker. He quit smoking
about age 50. Ather he quit smoking, his
personality changed. He began using a lot
of profanity, he physically attacted to
mailman, and when a local church burned
down, he tried to take credit for that. I
thought he needed some kind of mental help.
I planned to consult with an attorney.

The day I was going to see an attoryney, I
heard a newscast announcing the the govorner
of the statr (Missouri) had sighned a bill the
prevoius day forbidding involuntary detainment
of persons with a mental disorder. this was in
the 1970s before people had heard of bipolar
disorder. the rest of his life, he put me and my
mother through a lot of verbal abuse. My mother
said she wished he would start smoking again.

I have heard that nicotine has some effects on
the brain and may have something to do with
delaying the onset of alzheimer’s disease. I
sonder if you have heard of any studies having
to do with bipolar disorder. I would appreciate any
news about this in your email.
Regards
Fred
================================

I have been asked about this before.

Smoking does have an effect on the brain because it affects the dopamine receptors, which are the pleasure centers in your brain.

That’s what makes it so difficult to quit.

And it can have some effect on medications taken for things like bipolar disorder.

That’s why doctors always ask you if you smoke and how much you smoke (and for how long), and because smoking does have an effect on you.

As far as research on studies for bipolar disorder, it’s best to take an entire day or two to go to a university library. That’s what I always have to do.

You basically go to a big university and then spend the day researching for the study you are looking for.

That’s what I recommend in my courses/studies when you need to do research on bipolar disorder, which you should do when your loved one is first diagnosed and even after, so you can keep up with the latest research on the disorder.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
I believe there are also studies on bipolar disorder and smoking but I don’t remember the details.

I do know this, though –

That several people who I know who quit smoking and had bipolar disorder went into episodes.

Does this mean that you can’t quit smoking when you have bipolar disorder?

NO. But if you do, in my opinion, you need a plan if you are going to do so.

Talk to your doctor and therapist. Tell them you want to quit smoking.

Talk with your supporters.

Make a plan with all of them.

Check out all the programs that are for quitting smoking. There are a ton of them, everything from meditation to some kind of therapy programs to tapes and CDs to hypnosis (NOTE: I am not endorsing any one or which one.)

Whatever you are doing, make sure that you are monitored and if something goes wrong you have a plan B in place as well.

Michele who works for me once quit smoking and went into a mini bipolar episode.

According to her, here are the mistakes she made:

1. She didn’t do any research.
2. She didn’t have a plan.
3. She didn’t talk to anyone about it.
4. She didn’t tell her doctor.
5. She didn’t explore options.
6. She took medication she hadn’t
checked out thoroughly to see
if it would affect her bipolar
disorder.

The biggest mistake she made, though, was when she started having side effects, she didn’t stop using the medication, because she wanted to quit smoking so bad.

That’s what ended her up in the hospital in a bipolar episode.

So, even though quitting smoking is important, you also have to have a plan and not make the mistakes that Michele made.

Have you or a loved one been through a similar situation as Fred or Michele?

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

I hope you’re having a good day.

I just got back from the gym.

You wouldn’t believe how much the weather changes here where I live!

It was 49 degrees yesterday and then really hot.

It’s really, really strange.

I’ve heard other people talk about it, too.

Someone I know who lives in Florida, and this is no lie! told me that she could be standing in her driveway and be perfectly dry and it could be raining on the other side of the street! Honestly! (of course that doesn’t last long before her side of the street gets wet, too).

But isn’t the weather funny?

It can change at the drop of a hat. (and of course, you can never depend on
the weatherman, either).

So what does the weather have to do with bipolar disorder?

It has to do with changes.

For one example, and I know, because I’ve done research on this, is that bipolar disorder is affected by seasonal changes.

Like, many people with the disorder get more depressed in the wintertime because of the loss of direct sunlight.

Or when there are thunderstorms, people with bipolar disorder can get depressed, too, because it is dark and gloomy.

On the other hand, during the summertime, many people feel much better.

But changes in the weather bring up a bigger point having to do with bipolar disorder, and that’s changes in general.

Changes are just a natural part of life.

I mean, you’ve changed, haven’t you? You’re not the same person you used to be.

Your life has changed. It’s not the same life it was when you were younger.

Even your bipolar disorder (or, I should say, your management of it) changes.

One of the biggest things is that you have to adapt to change.

But you can’t do it all at once, because that can really hurt you and your disorder.

Like I talk about all the parts of stability in my courses/systems, you should only change one thing at a time in order to stay stable.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
And there’s a difference between small changes and big changes.

It’s like there’s a difference between rearranging the furniture in your house and buying completely new furniture for the whole house!

See what I mean?

So, like, let’s take medication for an example…

And this is a BIG thing.

There’s a big difference between getting a dosage change or going off your medications!

And always, and I repeat ALWAYS, talk to your doctor first!!! Only your doctor should be changing your medication.

If you do it yourself, you run into a BIG danger of going into a bipolar episode. And if you go off your medication completely, you can pretty much be sure you’re going to go into an episode!

Anyway, another example of change would be if your doctor, psychiatrist, or therapist doesn’t seem to be working for you anymore.

Then you need to find another doctor, psychiatrist, or therapist, because they are SO very important to your recovery from bipolar disorder. So you may have to change to another one.

There are different parts to what I call the Bipolar Stability Equation: (other than medication
and therapy, which are essential).

There is sleep, exercise, healthy diet, etc. Also, good self-care, low stress, balance, strong support system, plans for what happens if you go into a bipolar episode, etc.

Now, if one part of your stability equation isn’t working, then you can change it and try something else. Like say the way you exercise – you can try a different way of exercising; or diet, you can try a different diet.

But one thing you CAN’T do, is change too many things at once, or you run the risk of becoming unstable, or even going into a bipolar episode.

Also, and this is a VERY important point:

Be careful of making permanent changes that can have consequences that can’t be reversed, like changes you might make during an episode.

For example: foolish business investments; divorce; selling your home; etc.

And remember, some things you can’t change, just like you can’t change the weather.

You cannot change someone else – you can only change yourself.

And you cannot change the fact that you have bipolar disorder – you can only learn to manage it.

And sometimes you cannot change your situation – you can only learn to deal with it.

What changes have you had to make in your own life?

How have you dealt with them?

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

How’s it going?

I almost couldn’t send the daily email today due to yesterday’s hike.

I almost got bit by a snake (not sure what would have happen to me). I almost fell off a cliff. I also almost fell into the deep part of a lake.

The reason all this happened was because I went on a difficult hike. It wasn’t suppose to train but it did. It took a really, really, really long time to get to the place I was hiking and I wanted to finish the hike.

But I am here and all is well : )

Okay a man posted this for me:

“My wife gets so out of control
sometimes that I just can’t stand
it. I mean, she goes into her
manic episodes and spends all
our money till we’re almost
bancrupted. The last time she
even had an affair! I hate her for
that, I really do! Then I feel
guilty for hating her. What
should I do? Am I the only
one who feels like this?”

——————————————-

First of all, like I always say, I’m not a medical or mental health professional, so I can’t advise this man that way, I can only say my opinion.

But I had to share this message not only because it bothered me, but because the things he talked about might be bothering you, too.

You might be feeling like this man is feeling, because many other supporters have written to me about the same kinds of feelings.

You know that I’m a supporter too, and there were many times that I wondered if it was normal
to feel the way I did toward my mom when she was sick.

I was really angry at her because I felt like she was destroying our family.

This man is saying that he feels like he hates his wife, but then he feels guilty for hating his wife.

I know this may sound terrible to you, but then you also may be feeling the same way too and like this man, may be wondering if you’re the only one.

Although these may seem like awful feelings to have, they are normal feelings for a supporter, as other supporters have told me the same thing.

In my courses/systems, I talk about some of the negative feelings you might experience as a supporter to a loved one who has bipolar disorder.

I also talk about not feeling guilty on top of those negative feelings, because it’s normal for you to feel this way.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
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SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
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HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
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These negative feelings, like guilt and remorse, though, you do not have to hold onto.

It’s not your fault that your loved one has done the things that they’ve done while they were in episodes.

Some of the things that they’ve done can even be fixed by both of you together, like your finances (the financial consequences to their episodes).

Not all consequences are as bad as bankruptcy, and they can be fixed.

It sounds like this man is very angry about what his wife has done during some of her bipolar episodes, just like I was angry at my mom for destroying our family during hers.

You might be angry at your loved one too.

All these feelings are negative feelings, though.

They need to be turned around into positive feelings.

You need to turn your hate and anger away from your loved one and put it where it really belongs.

Your loved one is NOT your enemy.

Your REAL enemy is their bipolar disorder.

That is what is causing them to have episodes.

That is what is causing them to do the things that they are doing.

That is what you really hate.

And if you channel your negative feelings against the disorder and away from your loved one, you will see better results.

You will see yourself with less feelings of guilt, because you are doing something about your negative feelings – you are putting them where they really belong.

Use those feelings to help your loved one beat their bipolar disorder!

Use them to help your loved one in spite of the fact that they have the disorder and sometimes do things that may make you feel as if you hate them.

Remember that it is the bipolar disorder, and not them.

Remember who the REAL enemy is!

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.