Hi,
I hope you’re doing well today.
You know, we’ve all made mistakes.
And we’ve all made them for various reasons.
Some have been made because we just didn’t know any better.
Some have been made because we knew better, but we thought this time would be different.
Some have been made because we depended on someone else and they let us
down.
And some have been made because we took something for granted that we shouldn’t
have taken for granted.
Well, that’s something that you just can’t afford to do when it comes to bipolar disorder.
What am I talking about?
Well, I’m talking about medication, for one thing.
You just can’t take for granted that it will always work for your loved one the way that it is working now.
It may have to be changed some time in the future.
Another thing is that you shouldn’t take your loved one’s treatment team for granted, either.
If your loved one has a good doctor, psychiatrist, and therapist, you both should be very grateful.
Reward these people by always having your loved one show up for their appointments, and
show up on time.
Your loved one can’t take for granted that these people always know how to help them, either.
Your loved one has to help their professionals to help them, by giving them information.
Remember, that these professionals are not mindreaders. They only know what you tell them.
Also, don’t take your finances for granted.
Always put away something for a rainy day, because you never know if/when you’re going to need it.
That’s just sound financial advice, whether you are dealing with bipolar disorder or not.
That’s just one of the things I teach having to do with bipolar disorder in my courses/systems:
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
Don’t take your relationship for granted.
Especially because your loved one has bipolar disorder.
The disorder can sometimes seem to take over your lives.
I know, because supporters tell me that all the time.
It’s important that you keep close communication with your loved one, and that you don’t take things for granted, like how they are feeling.
It’s also important that you share your thoughts and feelings with your loved one, because you can’t take for granted that they know these things, either.
But the most important thing is that you do NOT take your loved one’s STABILITY for granted!
If you do that, the whole stack of cards can fall down around you.
If you take your loved one’s stability for granted, you won’t make plans for an episode, and one can sneak up on you, and then where will you be?
If you take your loved one’s stability for granted, you won’t be watching for signs and symptoms of an oncoming episode, and you might miss the warning signs.
Then the bipolar episode will be upon your loved one before you know it, and they may end up in the hospital, all because you took their stability for granted.
Have you ever had to deal with an episode in your loved one because you started taking their stability for granted?
What happened?
How did you handle it?
David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.
Post responses below
David,
I have taken it for granted on how my sons stability was and before we knew it he was hearing voices and was admitted again. It’s hard for not only him but for the whole family to deal with his episodes. We tell his Dr. everything that is going on and this time, with his new Dr., she was going to admit him and then asked him if he thought he would die by the actions he was doing and my son, being only 8, said no then she, the Dr. decided he was only delusional. I don’t understand what the difference is between being delusional and suicidal and she wasn’t willing to explain that to me either.
I would love to by your information but with my son’s bills and having 3 other kids we just don’t have any extra money. We are in a adoption battle right now with my son and his real dad. It’s is nice to know that I am not the only one that is going through this. I live in a small town that doesn’t have the help that maybe a big city would have. Our school doesn’t even have the resources to accommodate his moods. He goes to a little county school which has been named a 4 star school in Indiana and they have done the best they can do with what they have. I wouldn’t trade his school for anything. I wish there was away for them to be recognized for an outstanding job they have done with him in trying to help his situation.
Thank you for the emails once again! I am hoping that maybe my son will out grow this or at least that is what I pray to God for everyday to help him and help guide our family in the right direction.
Thanks for your encouragement!
Angel
My husband, Steve, is on medication for the bipolar disorder along with insomnia, anxiety and ADHD. About 1 1/2 ago he was doing great he began taking his medication properly because we battled with him so much in the past with taking his medication. He got fully involved in our local church with the Men’s ACTS and he made a 360 turnaround. I actually felt like I was married to a new person (eventhou we have been married for 21 years). He even actually began a new employment with a Vet Clinic which has always been his dream to work with animals. At this point I started taking his medication and his stability for granted. I started giving him 100% responsibilty in making his appointments and taking his meds. I avoided the signs because I know now that there were signs I guess I just didn’t want to believe it would come back to bite me. Needless to say by about one month ago he had an episode by trying to commit suicide and ended up in a treatment center. I now find myself battling him once again. He is back to square one and I just don’t know if i have the strength to go on carrying him. I can’t stop blaming myself for letting it get to this point. If only I would have paid attention to the signs and not take everything for granted we could still be stable.
I have been dating a bipolar man for one year and he seems to be doing well taking his medication and keeping his appointments …but every two weeks or so he becomes very negative and critical….I think his meds are too strong…shaking of the hands and moody… we seem to do great and then he goes on dating sites… his friends tell me the way he talks to me is very mean….during one of our time outs he bought two puppies and when he was potty training I thought he was going to kill them…I am confused and want to quit dating him..I wonder if it will get worse…waiting for a reply…Pat
I think that the biggest problem that I have heard that comes with either the sufferer, or the caregiver, when it comes to taking stability for granted, is the med issue.
Like you mentioned it is very important to keep on the meds, until a medical professional can monitor you coming off.
Often if everything seems to be going well, it is because of the meds. In most instances it is mistake for people seem to think that it is just them getting better. That meds are unneccessary.
That may be true in some instances but for the most part it is, because you are on the meds. Then when go off them, often a crisis develops.
Once it is decided that it is necessary to go back on them, it takes longer for your body to get back to the point that you were at before. Pretty well anything that you read about depression and meds will support that theory.
As much as I dislike taking drugs, I have a chemical imbalance and as a result I will be on meds for the rest of my life. At least if I want to maintain the status quo.
I coped by getting support from a therapist, domestic violence councellor and my doctor. I also did not react to my loved one’s name calling, threats, and manic behaviour. By closing myself off emotionally and protecting myself physically from my loved one during a manic episod, I was able to prevent the episode to escalate to previous lows when the police had to be called. My loved one is unable to see that he is sick when he is in a manice episode, and refuses help.
HI DAVIE BABE” HOWS YOU” TO DAY HOPE YOU FEELING FINE…..
Granted you carnt take anythink for granted.Cause one day it might not be there.
Take Care Linda x
I’m afraid that I – with no supporter at home – rely totally on the local mental health clinic to keep tabs on my moods. I KNOW to call my Nurse Practitioner or therapist at the FIRST sign of a trigger.
Having lost 12 lbs in a little over a month, is a “red flag” for me, as I once weighed 78 lbs in the State Mental Hospital. I went to my PCP because I feel I have an ulcer, and that’s when I got weighed. It scares me a LOT when I start to drastically lose weight for no reason…
My NP told me to eat chocolate ice cream every day – THAT’S not a bad prescription!! I NEVER take my recovery/stability for granted. Like other people with bipolar, we know things can be going smoothly, only to have e hypomania sneak up on us when we least expect it. WATCH those triggers, and DON’T stop taking your meds when you start to feel better. You start to feel better BECAUSE of the meds, not in spite of them…
BIG HUGS to all bipolar survivors and those who love us. May God bless you real good. I pray for my country.
I liked todays topic… it hit home today. I am almost certain my husband has bipolar, he doesn’t think so though. Our son was diagnosed a year and a half ago after some very bizzare behaviour and has been stable on meds since then. He just finished his first year at college, getting the second highest average in his class. He’s doing well and I am so proud of him! His Dad on the other hand……. His Dad lost his job a month ago. Since he was let go, here in Canada you cannot collect unemployment insurance. That’s sad cause he has paid into it for 27 years without collecting. Anyway.. he has been sitting here in a depression for over a month now. He has applied for other jobs and has had 3 interviews, but nothing. He seems to have given up. I am afraid that because of his termination he won’t be looked at for any jobs. He feels that some fellow workers teamed up against him to get him fired, and that they made up stories about him. I am trying to be supportive, but I have seen the way he speaks to his co-workers and am embarassed by it. He is very high strung and “jokes” with ppl in a very inappropriate manner. He also uses profanity, especially the “f” word way to much. I am at my wit’s end here! I am being dragged down by his down moods and scared to death that we will lose our house and cars because of him not working. I am not into material posessions, but we do need a place to live and a car to get ME to my job.
I don’t know what to do. I am normally a very upbeat person, but this past month has me down in the ditches! Scared, worried, feeling unsupportive, not eating well, not sleeping well, feeling hopeless for the first time EVER! I believe in that saying that “If God brings you to it, He will also bring you through it”
I pray that He has better plans for us!
Thanks for listening…..
Dear Dave,
Wow, you know, I am not one to take my stability for granted. I am on my knees every night and through out the day I thank God I am stable. My life before proper, adequate and balanced medication was a NIGHTMARE!!!! I am sooooooooooooooooooooooooo grateful that I am stable now.
I agree that we cannot take stability for granted, it is not granted, it is “developed” by hard psychological work on the survivor’s part, hard work on the psychiatrist’s part to learn about how to treat bipolar, how to treat each individual, and a lot of investment in support and encouragement on the supporter’s part. It took a lot of work on a lot of people’s part, including mine, to get and stay stable. I never go a day without thanking God for my stability, and know that when, not if, when I do become unstable what to do…
Thanks for an excellent topic,
Bob
I,m a “supporter” of my daughter, age 38 and her 2 kids–the9 yr old obviously bipolar too the 8 yr old affected by his mom andsister –let me tell you all these agencies etc don’t follow thro’ with much support, sound great when they start ‘do not follow thro with much and are very taxing and discourage me to the bone. They make empty promises and tell theres always another “social worker” on the waiting list for each family member–nothing coordinates and I wind up being the person doing all the work and back to square one–why on paper it seems so simple and in reality a lot of people get paid and run around and do nothing???I’min central Pennsylvania and feel like I’m in the middle ofthe “Alice-in Wonderland” story; is there nothing that is cohesive, straight forward and makes common sense or do all these agencies make a fast buck and a lot of “hot air” ?? How can one get all this wasted nonsense into an orderly strait forward , accountable package and actually help my family and all the others out there getting “slammed” by the system?????Its also $$$ wasteful too