Bipolar Supporter Blog

Hi,

How’s it going?

Actually I am in the process of lowering by body fat to under 6%. My goal is to get there by October 22, 2009.

I am not sure if I told you this, but I used to weigh 282 pounds at my peak when I was playing football.

Well, after football, I decided that it was not wise to carry that much weight, so I wanted to drop down to about 220 pounds.

I did it. I lost that 60 pounds.

And I have kept off that 60 pounds for over 10 years now. Which, according to statistics, is incredible.

See, for a lot of people, they lose the weight, but then they gain it back. But I didn’t.

I don’t say that to brag, but only to qualify what I am about to say.

In order for me to do this, I had to create a system and to follow it.

That’s why I am always telling people with bipolar disorder and their supporters that you have to have systems in place if you’re going to get better.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

Well, I faced ups and downs, I’m just being honest with you.

No system is perfect, because no person is perfect.

Like, you could be on the perfect diet, right?

And you could follow it every day for weeks to a T.

But then one day you would just have to have that piece of chocolate, right?

You would just have that craving so bad!

So it would be tough to keep up being perfect all the time.

But as long as the main system is in place, it will be ok.

Have you ever played that game where you stack up the pieces of wood?

Well, the idea is that each person one at a time takes out one piece, until one of the people makes the stack fall.

The point I’m trying to make is that they could take out just a few pieces of wood and it would be ok.

But there would come a point where the whole pile would come crashing down.

So you need a good system.

One that will stand up to one or two pieces being ok to be taken out without the whole thing coming crashing down.

So let’s look first at being a supporter:

You have to have a system too.

You are dealing with bipolar disorder just as much as your loved one is.

Your system might be that you have to work to support the family financially, and that you handle the family finances.

Another part of your system is to watch your loved one’s patterns, triggers, signs and symptoms so you can tell in advance if they are going into a bipolar episode.

But you can’t be a babysitter all the time, so that’s ok. You just do the best you can.

Another part of your system is to take action of you do see that they are in a bipolar episode.

Do you see how you have to have a system? Of course, these are only a few parts that should be included in your system.

Now, for the person with bipolar disorder:

Your system, first of all, MUST include taking medication, as prescribed, and on a daily basis. This is crucial to attaining and maintaining your stability.

Other parts of your system would include proper rest, a good sleep schedule, exercise, and a healthy diet.

You also HAVE to see medical and mental health professionals – a doctor, psychiatrist, and therapist (or counselor, social worker, clergy person, etc.) for your medication and to deal with issues surrounding your bipolar disorder and your life because of it.

Having a good strong support system with several people in it would also help, but is like that wood piece game I was talking about. If you only have you and your primary supporter, at least you have that.

Just like your supporter, you need to be watching your own patterns, triggers, and signs and symptoms for an oncoming bipolar episode, and have a system of what to do if you do go into one.

Of course, these are only some of the things that should be part of your system.

What about you?

What systems do you have in place?

How do they work for you?

Hi,

How’s it going?

I hope you’re doing ok today.

You know, some things are to be expected in life.

Like in winter, you can expect that people are going to get the flu.

You can expect that if you work at a job, that you will get a paycheck.

You can expect that if you pay your rent or mortgage, you will have a house to live in.

(You can also expect that at some point, you will have to make repairs to that house, however.)

Same with your car –

You can expect that if you keep up the payments, you will have a car to drive.

(You can also expect that at some point, you will have to make repairs to that car, however.)

Well, it’s the same with bipolar disorder.

You can expect certain things when your loved one has the disorder.

On the one hand, if they are doing what they should be doing to attain stability, then you can

expect that they will get stable.

These are the things I talk about in my courses/systems:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

On the other hand, if they are not doing the right things, you can expect that they will not

get stable.

But let’s just concentrate on the positive side of things.

If your loved one is taking their medication like they’re supposed to, you can expect that the medication will work and help them become stable.

If they are going to all their appointments – doctor, psychiatrist, and therapist – then you can

expect there to be progress there.

If they are eating right, you can expect them to be healthy.

If they are exercising, you can expect that they will stay in shape physically.

If they are sticking to a good sleep schedule, then you can expect that they will have good

days, without the mania from lack of sleep.

Unfortunately, sometimes you don’t always get what you expect.

Bipolar disorder is just sneaky like that.

Your loved one could be doing everything right and still go into an episode.

So you can expect that with bipolar disorder, there will be setbacks.

If your loved one is keeping a journal and/or a daily mood chart, however, you can most likely see the pattern as it approaches so you can avoid a full blown episode.

However, if your loved one does go into an episode, you should know what to expect then, as well, because you’ve experienced it in the past.

You can expect that they are going to exhibit certain behaviors, like they have before.

Which actually gives you an advantage, because what they’ve done before, they will do

again, and you can be prepared.

If you do what you need to do as far as being a supporter to your loved one, then you can

expect that they will feel that support.

And if enough time has passed, and your loved one has continued to take their medication, see their therapist, and do the other things they need to do to attain stability, you can expect that they will, indeed, someday be stable.

What are some of your expectations?

Hi,

How are you today?

I hope you’re doing well.

Well, football season is here again.

It made me think of the expression, “all geared up.”

That’s what they call it when they’ve got all their gear on and are psyched up to play the game.

Well, I think we can use that expression for bipolar disorder too.

You need to be all geared up for the game – in other words, the battle with bipolar disorder.

You should be psyched up about the fact that you can help your loved one to manage it.

It may not seem like a possibility right now, but think toward the future.

Stability is just waiting for them.

But, like with football, they can’t win the game just by being geared up.

They still have to play the actual game, and play it hard, play it the best that they can.

Then they can hope to win.

But they have to go in with an attitude that says they ARE going to win, or else they won’t do as

well.

That’s what being psyched up is.

Believing that you’re going to win.

And we can apply that to bipolar disorder as well.

In fact, you are kind of like your loved one’s cheerleader.

Cheering them on toward recovery and stability.

Making sure they take their medication.

Insuring that they go to all their appointments with their doctor, psychiatrist, and therapist.

Making sure they get enough sleep.

Helping them stick to a healthy diet.

These are some of the suggestions that I talk about in my courses/systems:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

You are part of your loved one’s team.

A major part of their support system.

Without a strong support system it’s almost impossible to reach stability and “win the game.”

It’s just too much to do it by yourself.

Now, a football game consists of certain “plays” that force that football down to the end zone

for a touchdown.

It takes time to do that.

That’s why they have all those annoying commercials! 

Each play has to be coordinated.

They have to have a strategy.

And that’s what you have to have with bipolar disorder, too.

A strategy.

You don’t want the other team (the bipolar disorder) to win.

So you need to develop ways to beat it.

Strategies in place.

For example, you need to know what you’re going to do in advance if your loved one goes

into an episode.

You need to have a strategy for that.

It is carefully placed strategies that win football games…

And it’s strategies that will win your battle against bipolar disorder.

Can you see how bipolar disorder can be compared to a football game?

And don’t you want to be on the winning team?

Hi,

If you need help explaining bipolar disorder, please take a look at this link:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/specialoffer/explainingbipolar/

I made these booklets actually for my family so I didn’t have to keep on explaining what bipolar disorder is.

It’s designed for the most hostile people and get them to be brought around to it being a real illness and serious. Actually it was first given to my brother who it actually worked on. It was much easier for me give him a little yellow booklet than explain what bipolar disorder is verbally.

Anyway take a look if you need help.

The link again is:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/specialoffer/explainingbipolar/

Dave

Hi,

Are you having a good day?

I hope so.

You know, when parents raise their children, they always tell them to do their best.

It’s a value that we receive and hopefully pass on to our own children and live by it ourselves.

When I used to have a lawn service, it didn’t matter whether it was the lowest paying customer

or the highest paying customer.

I always did my best.

I couldn’t do it with my mom, though, because I didn’t have the right “tools” (like I did for

my lawn care business).

Still, knowing my mother’s story and mine, you might be thinking that I did the best I could with

what I had to work with.

And that’s kind of you.

But still I wish things had been different.

That’s why I developed my courses/systems – so no one else would have to go through what I went through with my mom.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

People who have Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder struggle with the idea of doing your best, unfortunately.

They can be such a perfectionist that it interferes with their lives.

Or their work.

Or their relationships.

I know, because I’ve done research on this.

So you actually have an advantage.

You don’t have a mental illness, so you don’t have to try to be a perfectionist in everything you do.

Especially when it comes to dealing with your loved one.

No one expects perfection from you, so don’t expect it from yourself.

You can only do the best you can do with bipolar disorder.

Otherwise, you will stress yourself out.

And that’s something that you really don’t need.

You know how to be a good supporter.

You have information that I didn’t have.

Just from these daily emails, you should be learning information that will help you.

But if you’re doing your best to be the best supporter you can be, but your loved one goes into an episode anyway, just remember that it’s not your fault.

It’s not your fault that they have bipolar disorder, and it’s not your fault when that disorder exhibits itself in your loved one.

Some supporters beat themselves up over it.

Don’t be one of those people.

Just do your best. That’s all that is expected of you.

You are not perfect, and you can’t expect to be, especially when it comes to bipolar disorder.

It’s not because of anything you do or don’t do that your loved one will go into an episode.

They will go into an episode just because they have bipolar disorder.

It’s just the nature of the disorder, and has nothing to do with you.

You know how to be a good supporter to your loved one.

So just do the best that you can.

Nobody expects any more from you than that.

What about you?

Are you trying to be the perfect supporter?

Can you see now how there is no such thing as perfect when it comes to bipolar disorder?

Hi,

Here’s the news.

To read this week’s news visit:

http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews451/

Mental Illness Awareness Week

DO> Good reminder, take a look.

Removing the Stigma tied to Mental Illness

DO> Worthy goal, but it’s going to take a long time unfortunately

Seeds of Wellness: Bipolar Disorder can Make Everyday Life Difficult

DO> Isn’t this obviously?

Families, Officials Wage Battle with Mental Illness

DO> I completely agree, don’t you?

Gene Controlling Number Of Brain Cells Pinpointed

DO> Very interesting article, take a look.

For these stories and more, please visit:

http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews451/

==>Help with ALL aspects of bipolar disorder<<==

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:

http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

How’s it going?

Hope you’re ok.

A friend of mine had to go to a business meeting the other day.

Well, the day of the meeting, someone in her office was rude to her, and she became

defensive.

To the point that she did not even want to go to the meeting.

She was thinking with her emotions instead of her head, and I told her so.

I said, “Make the decision to go to the meeting with your head, and let your mind direct your actions instead of letting your emotions dictate your reactions.”

She was still feeling very anxious, so I told her to “Just breathe.”

That’s it – “Just breathe.”

I’ve talked to so many people with bipolar disorder who use that method for anxiety and

stress.

It’s so simple, but it works.

Deep breathing can help you to deal with anxiety and stress.

So she listened to me, and she went to the meeting.

She did what I told her to do.

And she made things happen.

She was a success at that meeting.

I think sometimes we complicate things in our minds, and our emotions take things out of

proportion.

Then we can get nervous, feel defensive, take things wrong, etc.

In my courses/systems, I tell you to really listen to your loved one, not only to what they’re saying, but also to what they are NOT saying.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

Good communication is so very important when it comes to success.

Whether it was success for my friend, or success for you and your loved one fighting bipolar disorder together.

I was also thinking about how supporters kind of get lost in the shuffle when it comes

to bipolar disorder.

I don’t think we get enough credit.

Have you ever heard the saying, “Behind every good man, there’s a good woman.”?

Well, I think it’s kind of like that.

I believe that behind every successful survivor of bipolar disorder, there’s a strong supporter helping them.

I’ve known very few people who were able to achieve stability all by themselves.

VERY few.

Bipolar supporters make things

happen.

They make sure that their loved one takes their medication.

They make sure that their loved one goes to see their doctors and therapists.

They make sure the home setting is as stress-free an environment for their loved one as they can.

They are supportive and understanding.

When they see their loved one start to show symptoms of a bipolar episode, they make sure their loved one gets the help they need to avoid it.

They take care of themselves, so that they can be the best supporter they can be.

Supporters just…

MAKE THINGS HAPPEN.

As a bipolar supporter, you should never be taken for granted.

Your job is very important to your loved one’s stability.

What are some of the things you do to make things happen?

What do you do to help your loved one get closer to stability?

Hi,

How’s it going?

I hope you’re doing ok today.

You know, we spend a lot of our lives just waiting.

Waiting to grow up.

Waiting to graduate from school.

Waiting to move out.

Waiting to get that career started.

Waiting for promotions.

Waiting for the right person to come along and marry.

Waiting for a baby to be born.

Waiting for our birthdays.

Waiting for holidays.

Waiting for vacations.

Waiting to retire.

Waiting for the weekend.

Waiting in lines.

Waiting at doctors’ offices.

Well, waiting is probably one of the hardest things for a supporter with a loved one who has bipolar disorder to do.

Not just the waiting in doctors’ offices…

But the waiting for your loved one to become stable.

It’s hard sometimes, especially if they aren’t stable right now.

It’s hard when you feel like you’re all alone.

That’s why you need to have your own support system, along with other things like I teach in my

courses/systems about dealing with bipolar disorder.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

It’s hard just to cope and deal with bipolar disorder in the first place.

That’s why you need to read everything you can about the disorder, so you can be educated.

And having knowledge, you can gain some control over the disorder.

It’s hard to be a good supporter.

Sometimes you may feel overwhelmed.

Sometimes you may have negative feelings.

Sometimes you may even resent or be angry at your loved one, just because bipolar disorder is so much a part of your life together.

But waiting has to be the hardest thing to cope with as a supporter.

Waiting for your loved one’s medication to work.

Waiting for your loved one to learn to manage their bipolar disorder.

Waiting for them to get better.

Waiting for your loved one to GET STABLE.

But sometimes the wait is a long time.

Some people with bipolar disorder don’t take to their medications at first.

It’s a matter of trial and error to get them on the right medication.

Sometimes it’s hard to find the right doctor, psychiatrist and therapist for them.

Some supporters of people with bipolar disorder find it very hard to even get their loved one into treatment.

And waiting for a bipolar episode to end is the worst.

You may feel really helpless.

You may have to do some things that you don’t want to do, like put your loved one in the hospital.

You may have to count on other people to help you.

Your loved one may be hard to get along with.

They may even be in denial, which can be very frustrating for you.

So, yes, waiting is probably the hardest part.

But if your loved one does the things they need to do to get better (get stable), you will not have to spend all your time waiting any more.

The main thing is to get them into treatment and on the right medication.

And to take care of yourself as well.

Do you find yourself waiting on your loved one to get stable?

What are you doing in the meantime?

Hi,

How are you today?

I hope you’re doing good.

Someone wrote about what some of life’s biggest lifestyle changes were.

Like marriage or divorce.

Like moving.

Like changing jobs.

Like a death in the family.

Well, I think bipolar disorder is one of life’s biggest lifestyle changes.

And learning how to cope and deal with it doesn’t happen overnight.

There is no crash course to stability.

Even though in my courses/systems, I teach you how to cope and deal with bipolar disorder, I also tell you that it takes time to become stable.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

Even my course is not a “crash course.”

I go through the elements of stability, but I don’t offer a magic word you can say to get there overnight.

Although the things I listed before about life’s major lifestyle changes happen quickly, the fallout from them happens more gradually.

It takes time to get used to being married and living with someone else, or being alone again from a divorce.

It takes time to pull off a move.

It takes time to get used to a new job.

And it definitely takes time to grieve for a lost family member.

So making the bipolar lifestyle change takes time as well.

Getting used to the medication can take time.

Just getting used to taking it is a change in itself.

Then there might be side effects that need to be dealt with.

Or medication changes.

But eventually you are on the right medications in the right dosages and you are used to taking your medication, so you have made the bipolar lifestyle change in that area.

You also have to get a good doctor, psychiatrist, and therapist, and you need to start seeing them on a regular basis.

But eventually you get used to it, and you have made the bipolar lifestyle change in that area.

Making the bipolar lifestyle change has other, smaller parts to it as well.

Such as learning how to stick to a good sleep schedule.

And eating right.

And exercising.

Then there are other, bigger parts to a bipolar lifestyle change.

You may have lost your job because of your bipolar disorder, and now have to live on disability.

Your finances may be affected by your disorder as well (bipolar disorder isn’t cheap), and you need to make an adjustment to the change.

I don’t think you ever get used to bipolar episodes, but learning how to cope and deal with them and their consequences is a lifestyle change.

Being productive in spite of having bipolar disorder is a big change as well.

You may not be able to work outside the home any more, but you can still be productive.

You can volunteer, or you can even start a home-based business.

You can set goals and achieve them.

Yes, having bipolar disorder definitely means making some lifestyle changes.

But the better you are at making and accepting those changes, the faster you will become stable.

What are some of the lifestyle changes you have had to make because of bipolar disorder?

How have you dealt with them?

Hi,

I hope you’re doing ok today.

We hear a lot about how important communication is.

Especially in a relationship, bipolar or not.

Many supporters of a loved one with bipolar disorder tell me that it’s very hard to communicate with their loved one.

Here are some of the complaints I’ve heard from other supporters:

1. My loved one sleeps too much

2. My loved one isolates

3. They won’t talk about things,

or will only talk about surface

things

4. They watch TV all the time

5. They are “in their own little

world”

6. They are rarely home (and

then only to eat and sleep)

7. They ignore me

8. They don’t listen to what

I’m really saying

9. They are self-centered

10. They complain all the time

Now, first of all, how can you communicate with someone who sleeps all the time?

Consider that they may have a problem such as being over-medicated, in which case you should talk to their doctor.

But also consider that they may be sleeping to avoid talking with you (or anyone else).

Don’t take this personally, it could be part of their bipolar disorder – possibly even a sign that they are in a depressive

episode.

As far as your loved one isolating (and therefore not really “there” to even talk to), isolation is both a trigger to a bipolar episode and a symptom of one.

So, again, don’t take it personally, but if you think they are in an episode, contact their doctor.

Hypersomnia (sleeping too much) and isolation are just two of the symptoms of a bipolar episode that I go over in my courses/systems:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

Some supporters tell me that their loved one just sits around and watches TV all the time, seeming to shut them out.

Well, some people with bipolar disorder will do this, if they’re trying to escape their disorder (shut the world out).

The problem with that is not only that they won’t communicate with you, but also that they won’t get any better, because they need to be productive and do something other than just sit in front of the TV doing nothing.

Some supporters complain that their loved one is rarely home, and even then only to eat and sleep. They feel slighted, and their feelings are hurt. But they don’t tell their loved one that they’re feeling this way, so the person has no reason to act any different.

Even if they are home, they may ignore you, not listen to what you’re really saying, be self-centered, and complain all the time.

None of these situations lends itself to good communication.

Some supporters have even told me that even when their loved one does talk to them, that it’s only about surface things, and not their thoughts and feelings.

If your loved one is talking to you but doing it in the form of complaining, or only surface things, they are not really communicating.

They are just talking AT you, instead of WITH you (especially for those who say their loved one doesn’t listen to them).

Your loved one may be so consumed by their bipolar disorder and the issues surrounding it that they give no consideration toward good communication with you.

You need to sit down together when your loved one is NOT in an episode, and communicate your thoughts and feelings to them.

As long as you do it in a supportive, loving way, instead of an angry or hostile way (such as: “You NEVER talk to me!” which will make them feel defensive), they should be able to hear what you’re saying.

As long as you aren’t pushy, they may be willing to open up to you and trust you enough to tell you what their thoughts and feelings really are.

Have you had problems communicating with your loved one?

How did you solve the problem?