Bipolar Supporter Blog

Hello, I hope things are going well for you today. I was thinking

about how we all go through tough times, and people with bipolar disorder often suffer through many challenging times. It may seem like the depression will never lift, you will forever be going to therapy appointments or that your new medication is making you feel sick. People that have a loved one with bipolar disorder will often wonder if the worrying will ever end, or if their relationship will ever be free of turmoil.

During especially difficult times, it is important to stay positive and look ahead. When we wallow in our sadness/frustration/anger, it gives these emotions more power. Thinking positively is always a good idea, even during the darkest of moments.

My friend Jack says that when he is having a tough time dealing with his wife who has bipolar disorder, he tell himself one positive thing about their relationship, or relives one good memory. He claims that this helps him to put things in perspective and it guides him to push through the especially challenging times without dwelling on the negative.

Try this next time you are having a particularly bad day. When those voices in your head start to tell you that your life is in shambles, or that you will never feel well, stop these thoughts and replace them with positive thoughts.

So if you tell yourself “Gosh, I feel so ill today from my medication, I HATE taking my meds”, replace this thought with “ It is a bummer that I have to take medication and that it is making me feel ill right now, but I will call my doctor tomorrow and discuss with him the options I have on switching to a different med. Plus the medication does help a lot with my depression, so I guess it is not so bad after all”.

It may seem hokey, but trying to replace negative thought s with positive ones really does help your overall outlook on things and can help to turn the corner during a particularly difficult time.

Try this the next time you are feeling down and let me know how it goes

Well I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi, how’s it going? I hope you’re doing well.

I have a friend who’s really into car racing (I think I’ve told you about him before). But his girlfriend doesn’t understand the concept of a bunch of cars driving in circles going nowhere, until eventually they’ve driven enough and someone is declared the winner. That’s how she sees it. People driving around in circles.

Actually, she said, “And they call that a sport?” LOL

But it made me think of going in circles, and how that relates to bipolar disorder. Because you may be doing the same thing – Going around in circles with no destination (goal) to reach.

Remember the definition of insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results. Well, you may be doing that.

Think about it. Do you feel purpose in what you’re doing? Or do you feel like you’re in the same rut day after day? Do you, in fact, feel like you’re going in circles sometimes? Well, that’s what I’m talking about.

If you don’t feel like you’re making progress, you might just be going in circles. Why? Because you’re doing the same thing over and over again and getting the same results.

If you’re going in circles, something needs to change. It could be your medication. If you don’t feel it is adequately treating your bipolar disorder, talk to your doctor about it. You may need a medication change or change in dosage of your current medications.

It could be your environment. If you are in a stressful environment, you need to change that. If when you get around certain people, you get nervous and anxious – Then you might want to consider a different set of friends.

If you’re working, it could be your job. You may need to change a part of your job routine so that you don’t feel like you’re doing the same thing day after day. But if the job does entail doing the same thing day after day, having you going in circles, you may have to consider changing jobs.

It could be your relationship. If you feel like things between you and your supporter just keep

going in circles – Then you have to change something. Perhaps your communication needs to be clearer.

It could be idleness, laziness, or just plain non-productivity. That can lead to depression, and depression leads right back to non-productivity. Talk about going in circles!

Even if it means that it makes you uncomfortable, if you feel like you’re just going in circles, you need to change.

First, take a look at yourself to see what needs to be changed. Then look around at your environment to see what needs to be changed. Then look at your life and see what needs to be changed. See what I mean?

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi, how’s it going? Hope you are doing well.

The other day I was watching a team of people work on a tough assignment. They made a plan that sounded like it would work. But then, they didn’t follow it! I didn’t understand it. They ended up having a much harder time doing their job then they would have if they had followed the plan they had all agreed on.

And their plan was a good one, and it took them time to come up with it. So why didn’t they follow it?

It made me think about people with bipolar disorder. Most people with bipolar disorder who are on their way to recovery have made some sort of a plan. But often times, they will stray away from that plan. Most of the time, the plan includes communication with their support team. But often times, this does not get played out the way it should.

That’s where accountability comes into play. That’s right: accountability. The “A” of all words for bipolar disorder. It’s an important word because it’s an

important concept.

A person with bipolar disorder needs to communicate with everyone in their recovery team, including their psychiatrist and therapist, their supporters and possibly their family as well. Whomever they have chosen to be in their recovery team, it is important that they talk to them about how they are feeling, what they are doing, and any plans they may have.

Talking to them about how they are feeling is essential to help watch for relapses. Talking to them about what they are doing helps to make sure they aren’t overwhelming themselves. Talking to them about any plans they may have, especially when manic, will help them to make sure that their plans are sound and reasonable.

The important thing is to make sure that there is open communication between the person with bipolar disorder and their support team.

This goes both ways, too. The people in the recovery team need to communicate with their loved one who has bipolar. They need to be talking to them about what they are noticing in them. That way the person can learn to recognize their symptoms as they are happening, and hopefully even to recognize their triggers.

They need to be talking to their loved one about what to do in the case of an emergency. It is better to have that plan ahead of time, after all, so that it can be followed later. They need to be talking to their loved one about how to prevent a relapse. They also need to be talking to their loved one about what to do should a relapse happen.

However you look at it, both sides need to communicate with the other side. And both sides need to be accountable to the other side, and to hold each other accountable.

Communication is a good thing in most situations, but it is essential when dealing with bipolar disorder. Without communication, the person with bipolar disorder would be stuck trying to recover on their own. And, as supporters, we don’t want them to have to do that.

So make a point to communicate with each other, and to keep each other accountable. How do you think you could communicate better?

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi, how’s it going? I hope you’re doing well.

I was reading this book on bipolar disorder called “Bipolar Disorder: Insights for Recovery” by Jane Mountain, M.D. It’s very interesting, and has much helpful information in it for both supporters and survivors.

I wanted to share an excerpt of it with you:

“The emotional pain of bipolar disorder is completely different from physical pain. For one thing, emotional pain deeply affects relationships with friends and family. When someone has physical pain, you may easily find words to console and encourage that person. But when you suffer the deep emotional pain of bipolar disorder, you likely feel you’re not getting support from others. Indeed, to protect yourself, you hide your pain and try to disguise your symptoms.

This doesn’t mean that people who do not experience a mental illness do not feel emotional pain. There is not a person living who has not known emotional pain from loss – the loss of a loved one from death or divorce, for example. Even the loss of a beloved family pet can be extremely hard to bear.

But the emotional pain of bipolar disorder has a different quality – and is experienced much more intensely – than these examples. This pain can be so intense that we may not want to live. This pain, coupled with

hopelessness, can lead to suicide.”

This doctor has great insight into how a person with bipolar disorder and their supporter can feel.

I think she makes some excellent points. Mostly about the difference between physical pain and emotional pain. I like that she includes everyone in the part about experiencing emotional pain, because many supporters feel like they shouldn’t experience it – That emotional pain is only for their loved one. But that’s not true.

Supporters sometimes feel a great amount of pain, especially from watching their loved one when they are suffering from a bipolar episode.

And it’s true, too, about not knowing what to say. When someone dies, you tell the family, “I’m sorry for your loss,” or other such things. When someone is injured, you say, “I hope you feel better.” But what can you say to a loved one suffering from bipolar disorder?

You can’t tell them, “I know how you feel,” because you don’t, and a comment like that may make them angry or react in another negative way.

So how do you express to your loved one that you feel their emotional pain so that they don’t feel so alone? You just have to be honest if you don’t know what to say. It will happen at times. And it’s ok not to know what to say – just let your loved one know that you’re there for them, that you care about them, and be compassionate.

Many people with bipolar disorder have been emotionally damaged by family members who say, “Why can’t you just snap out of it?”

But we both know that’s not true, or your loved one definitely would do it, right? But you do always have to keep in mind that this emotional pain is just as real as a physical pain for your loved one. It’s not so much what you say as that you show an understanding of the pain they are suffering. And always, always – if your loved one expresses thoughts of death or suicide, take them seriously, and get them to get help immediately.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

I wanted to drop you a quick note about all these FREE articles on bipolar disorder.

We are constantly adding more and more articles.

I forgot to tell you.

Take a look if you are interested it’s located

at:

http://www.bipolarcentral.com/articles

If you look over the lower right you will see over 1000 FREE articles on bipolar disorder.

Lots to choose from.

Dave

Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews478/

Here are the news headlines:

How Do You Find Credible Health Information Online?
DO> What do you think of this article?

How Many Psychiatric Medications Did You Say You Take?
DO> Interesting article, don’t you think?

When Six Year Olds Attempt Suicide
DO> This is really sad, take a look.

Test for Genetic Risk of Bipolar
DO> Hmm. Some promising.

Common Migraine, Epilepsy Drugs Linked to Suicide Risk
DO> Make sure you read this, and make a note.

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews478/

==>Help with ALL aspects of bipolar disorder<<==

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi, how’s it going? Hope you are doing well.

The other day I was reading a response to a blog and saw a comment that really bugged me. It said that the medication that was talked about in the blog was horrible. This person talked about their experience with it; about the side effects they got from it and how it didn’t even end up working! And then they went on to say that no one should ever use it because it would do the same thing to them.

It’s that last part that bugged me. I understand that people have bad reactions to medications. I understand that medications don’t always work the way we would like them to. But everyone is different. Everyone’s body responds differently to every medication.

So we can’t just assume that what doesn’t work on one person won’t work on anybody. After all, there are tests done on every medication to make sure it will work on at least some people. If you are taking a medication legally, then chances are it has passed that test. Which means that it works for some people.

Now, of course, that doesn’t mean it works for everyone. Usually not even close. But your psychiatrist can help you determine which medications are more likely to work in your situation.

Sometimes they get it wrong and you end up with a medication that is wrong for you. When that happens, you need to go back to your psychiatrist and talk to them about it. They can then safely get you off of that medication and put you on one that will hopefully work better.

It may seem like a long, drawn-out process, and sometimes it is. But in the long run it’s worth it. It’s worth it when you find the medication that works best for you. It’s worth it when you get to the point where it’s obvious that you are on the road to recovery. It’s worth it when you get to the point that you can lead a normal life for the most part.

But it doesn’t help anybody to go ranting about the medications that didn’t work for you. If anything, it just scares some people off that might have been able to benefit from that medication.

Especially when it is put on the internet. You never know who will be reading it when you post something on the internet. It may be someone who is far too gullible for their own good. Or it may be someone who worries about everything.

Either way, they might believe everything you say, even putting it over what a doctor would tell them. Which doesn’t make any sense, because a doctor went to school for a reason, and (most of) you don’t have the same background and knowledge.

I’m hoping that most of you don’t have this problem. But maybe you have come across other people who do. Maybe you have been complained to, and warned against taking a certain medication. Maybe you have read blogs like the one I saw, where people were typing those sorts of things in the comment boxes. I’m sure you’ve “heard it all” – I know I have! Unfortunately, not everything I’ve heard has been good. And this is certainly one of those times where it wasn’t good!

Complaining doesn’t do a lot of good to begin with, but claiming that everyone will have the same reaction to a medication as one person did can only do harm. Have you ever heard of a time where someone did this?

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi, how’s it going? Hope you are doing well.

I was talking to a random person the other day, and they asked what I did for a living. So I told them about my company, and about the fact that it is based on helping people who have bipolar disorder and their supporters.

She then looked at me and said, “Oh, yeah, my aunt is bipolar.” That really irritated me. It wasn’t the fact that her aunt happened to have bipolar disorder that irritated me, or even that she mentioned it. It was her wording.

As far as I’m aware, her aunt isn’t the personification of bipolar disorder. There is probably more to her aunt’s life than just bipolar disorder. And she certainly doesn’t need to be defined by bipolar.

Now, I’m sure that this lady didn’t mean to offend me, so I just said back to her, “Oh, your aunt has bipolar disorder?” Somehow I doubt she caught on.

Sometimes there is not much we can do to fix other people’s mistakes. But we can fix our own. And sometimes, like in this situation, it happens to be as easy as changing our wording.

Our loved ones aren’t bipolar; they have bipolar. Can you see the difference?

Let’s say you have bipolar disorder. It’s bad enough dealing with the label already. It means people look at you differently and act differently around you. It means you can’t get certain jobs and have a harder time taking on the ones you can get. It means you have to have people to support you, which you are most likely grateful for; but it’d be nice to not absolutely need them. At least not in that way.

But then on top of the label already being bad enough, let’s say that you had it worse. Let’s say that you didn’t just have bipolar disorder. Let’s say that you are bipolar.

So not only are you the person who has the problem, you are also the cause of the problem. That would really stink, wouldn’t it? To know that it was your own fault that you are in the situation you are in?

And then, there would be no way to escape from the symptoms, because the symptoms are you. You’d never get any relief. You’d never have any hope for recovery. You’d never know what it felt like to not be in a manic or depressed episode. And depending on how you look at it, if you were bipolar disorder, you would probably be responsible for other people’s pain as well. That is a thought that I don’t even want to think about.

Can you imagine what it must be like to be bipolar disorder? I can’t. So why on earth would we call our loved ones bipolar disorder? Or, those of you that have bipolar disorder, why would you do this to yourself?

It’s like adding insult to injury. It’s bad enough having bipolar disorder without making it worse by labeling it wrongly.

And people don’t do that with other diseases and disorders. You don’t hear someone saying “I am cancer,” or “she is cancer.” You don’t hear anyone saying “I am diabetes,” or “he is diabetes.” For that matter, you don’t even hear anyone saying “I am high cholesterol,” or “he is high cholesterol.” So why do we say “she is bipolar?”

Next time you start to say that, stop yourself and correct yourself. Start to say “he has bipolar disorder” instead. It is a small change. But it will make all the difference in the world.

What do you think of that?

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi, how’s it going? Hope you are doing well.

There’s a word that can get us into a lot of trouble. It happens to be six letters long. Can you guess what it is?

No?

I’ll give you another hint. It starts with the letter “D.” Want to see if you got it right?

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Denial. Ugly word, isn’t it? I think it is.

I’ve seen it happen far too often. In fact, the thing that made me think of this was a television show. On this show, the mother was terminally ill. Her daughters and husband would go to see her in the hospital, and act like there was nothing wrong!

They would talk to her about things that were going on – little mundane things – which was probably fine, but they kept doing so in a way that you could tell that they didn’t believe she was dying. Then, unfortunately, it became too late.

When the mother did die on this television show, it hit the two daughters hard. They hadn’t braced themselves to handle the fact that there mother was dying. The husband, on the other hand, continued to stay in denial, and wouldn’t even recognize the fact that she wasn’t coming back!

It seemed pretty ridiculous to me. Well, that, and pretty sad.

But the really sad thing is: it’s not just on television. This sort of thing happens all of the time.

Before we started paying attention to my mother’s illness, my dad and I were in a kind of denial. If we had stayed that way, the results could have been catastrophic!

Can you imagine what it must be like to be a person with bipolar disorder who doesn’t have anyone to support them? Granted, they have people around them, but if those people are in denial, then they aren’t supporting them.

Are you in denial about your loved one’s disorder? I hope not. But in case you are, let me give you a warning that I wish someone would have given me:

When it comes to bipolar disorder, denial kills. Literally. People with bipolar disorder are at a much higher risk of suicide attempts and completions than other people. This is especially true when they are not in treatment.

Now, maybe you’re thinking that if your loved one ever got to that point that you’d notice and get them help then. I’m pretty sure that is not the most well – thought of plan, and I’m not entirely sure it would work. But even if you’re right, there are other things that denial can do to a person with bipolar disorder.

Denial ruins a person financially. Denial costs a person years of their lives wasted. Denial can make for lost friends, broken connections, and burned bridges. Denial can ruin a person’s life.

Now, would you really want to be in denial, when you could be dealing with the problem instead? What can you do to make sure that you aren’t in denial?

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi, how are you doing today? I hope you’re having a great day.

I know you’ve heard me talk about my goddaughter before. Well, the other day, she was visiting, and she started “twirling” in circles. She would twirl and twirl until she finally got too dizzy and

fell down, giggling. Then you know what she did? She got right up and did the same thing again! She just wouldn’t stay still.

It’s the same with bipolar disorder. It doesn’t stay still, either. And it definitely doesn’t go away.

It changes, and as it does, you have to adapt to it.

But that’s the same just in life in general. Change is constant, and you can’t let down your guard.

What I’m talking about here is more like:

What worked for you yesterday may not work for you today, and what works for you today may not work for you tomorrow. And you have to adapt to it – make changes, if necessary.

First of all, you can’t change anything until you realize what needs to change. You need to constantly monitor that. You keep what works, and you change what doesn’t work. You don’t just stay still and do nothing.

Let’s look at some examples of things you might need to change:

1. Sleeping too much or too little

You need to keep a steady, routine sleep schedule. Get at least 8 hrs of sleep each night, go to

bed at the same time at night and wake up at the same time each morning. Sleep (or lack of it) is one of the biggest triggers for a bipolar episode, so you need to watch that, and change your routine if necessary.

For instance, I know someone with bipolar disorder who was having trouble getting to sleep at night (she kept having racing thoughts). So now she drinks a cup of hot herbal tea before bed each night, and that works for her.

2. Poor diet

If you eat lots of junk food, sugar, fats, and cholesterol, your body is not going to reward you with good health. For instance, you may get high cholesterol and need to go on medication for it, before it endangers your life. Changing to a healthy diet will keep you balanced and stable.

3. No exercise (or not enough)

You need to exercise for your own physical health, besides the bipolar disorder. You can do it at home, join a gym, or join the Y, but you do need to exercise, even if it’s just walking.

4. Low self-esteem

You can raise your self-esteem by doing things outside yourself – Doing things for other people

makes you feel better about yourself (like volunteering).

5. Non-productivity

Being idle or lazy (unproductive) can be a trigger to a bipolar depressive episode. It can make you depressed and affect your self-esteem, and definitely affect your bipolar disorder.

Making changes in your lifestyle can go far in making changes in how you feel about yourself –

both physically and mentally.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave