Bipolar Supporter Blog

Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews495/

Here are the news headlines:

Some Drugs May Have Unwanted Side Effects
DO> Did you know this?

Bending Bodies, Strengthening Minds
DO> What do you think of this?

Thousands of Seroquel Lawsuits Settled
DO> Do you think this is good?

Dr. Ken Duckworth On Treating Bipolar Disorder
DO> Interesting article, take a look.

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews495/

==>Help with ALL aspects of bipolar disorder<<==

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting: http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

I just wanted to drop you a quick email that we have more new free debt, credit and money related articles:

http://www.bipolarcentral.com/articles/categories/Money-Credit-and-Debt-Information/

I will be sending out an email every week or so when there are new ones.

Take a look.

Dave

Hi, how’s it going? Hope you are doing well.

Have you ever had a broken bone? Or maybe a sprain or other injury? An acquaintance of mine has a broken ankle at the moment. Living with a broken ankle is hard. But it only gets harder for her:

Her job is cashiering. At her job they don’t have a chair that is high enough that she could sit down to work. So she has to be on disability during an extended leave from work. Disability isn’t paying her as much as her job was, and she is getting behind on some bills.

And here’s the icing on the cake: She lives upstairs in a historic apartment building that has no elevator. She has been having to stay at a motel without many of the things that she needs from her house, and will continue to stay there and pay rent in two places until her leg is such that she can climb stairs. She has almost drained her savings account, and has no idea what she will do when it is gone.

A mutual friend was talking to the two of us the other day. He has bipolar disorder, and is currently dealing with a lot of natural consequences of his symptoms. He was explaining to her that it felt like the whole world was out to get him, and that nothing could possibly go right.

She didn’t understand. Her reasoning was that it was just a mental disorder; how would that affect a person’s life? So he explained to her in a way she could understand. I was actually very impressed by this explanation. He told her it was like living upstairs with a broken ankle. It took her a few moments, but she began to understand.

Have you ever felt like that? Are you living upstairs? There are days where we all are. But for some people, it’s more than just days. For some people it’s all the time. This can be frustrating, but the only way to get through it is to focus on the positive.

If nothing else is positive, there’s always this saying: When you’re at your lowest point, the only place you can go is up. And that’s true! Sometimes we have to hit rock bottom in order to learn the lessons and coping skills we need to learn to deal with the rest of life. It’s not easy, and it’s not fair. But it is the way life works.

If we can take these times and learn lessons from them, then we can say that we conquered them. So what kinds of lessons can a person who has bipolar disorder learn from these hard times? Perseverance, humility, dedication, willpower, a sense of justice, and a desire to help those who are walking in the same shoes you have walked in.

Have you ever heard the phrase: What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger? Well, for the most part it’s true. But only if you bother to learn from the circumstances that life puts you in.

Are you living upstairs?

Maybe it’s time to learn to climb.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi, how’s it going? Hope you are doing well.

Have you ever compared an apple to an orange? Now, this can be taken in two different ways. I could mean literally comparing the fruit. Apples are oddly shaped and colorful, while oranges are round, and, well… orange. Apples are often tart, whereas oranges are often sweet.

I could also be referring to the comparison of things that aren’t on the same level as each other. Like comparing the level of difficulty of a supervisor’s work to that of their employees. They are both likely to be hard, but in different ways altogether.

Here’s one that’s likely to throw you for a loop: How about comparing the lives of someone who has bipolar disorder to the lives of someone who doesn’t? Most of us do it all the time. I’m probably guilty of it myself. But if you honestly think about it, it’s like comparing apples and oranges. It just doesn’t add up.

The two people have different brain chemistries and processes. They have different difficulties and accomplishments. They have different levels of functioning in certain areas of life (with some areas favoring one and some areas favoring the other.) They have different sorts of addictions (less extreme examples being caffeine or spending.)

They have different pills they take to handle their problems (everywhere from aspirin to psych meds.) They have different types of jobs that they are skilled at. And they are likely to have the sorts of differences that everyone has with each other, on top of things (different tastes, personalities, and interests, for example.)

You know what else is different? They have different strengths. One is a strength of perseverance through struggles, hope beyond despair, and coping skills that combat mania and depression. For the other person, their strengths will depend on the circumstances that they have lived through and what they have bothered to learn from them.

There are many ways that both are similar, also. After all, we are all human and we all share some of the same traits with at least some of the people in this world. One person with bipolar disorder might have the same sense of humor as their friend who doesn’t have the disorder. One typically functioning individual might have the same fears as their neighbor who has bipolar.

But comparing tends to take something away from both parties. It lessens what they have been through and where they are going, and packs it into a nice, neat label that doesn’t match their life at all. It’s a cousin to stereotyping.

Maybe we should all try to stop comparing people who have bipolar disorder to people who don’t. Maybe we should stop comparing apples to oranges.

What are your thoughts on this?

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

Have you ever heard the expression, “If something doesn’t kill you, it just makes you stronger?”

Well, applied to bipolar disorder…If bipolar doesn’t kill you…It just makes you stronger.

Let’s look at that a little bit today. Do you believe, first of all, that bipolar disorder CAN make you stronger? Because too many supporters and survivors I’ve talked to just believe that it drains the life right out of you. Really. They have like this defeatist attitude. And I don’t blame them.

Remember, I’ve been there. I can understand how they might feel that way.

If you don’t fight back against it, bipolar disorder can overwhelm you and seem to sort of “beat you up” in this war against it, seeming like it’s winning. But only if you let it. It IS like a war when it comes to bipolar disorder. You just CAN’T let it win!! You HAVE to be strong!

So how do you get strong? By overcoming the adversity that threatens to overtake you.

As a supporter, there are many things you have to put up with from your loved one. The mood swings, the anger, the episodes, the sometimes bazaar behaviors, the consequences from their

episodes, etc.… And it isn’t always easy. In fact, it is rarely easy to live with a person who has bipolar disorder. But you are a supporter because you care about your loved one.

So you learn to put up with some things. Other things you learn to deal with. Like you learn to deal with their anger. Not to put up with it, but how to react to it – like not to fight back.

Things like lowering your voice so they have to listen to you – things like stepping out of the room with an excuse to get something if you need a break. You know what I mean. There are things that you will tolerate and things that you will not tolerate when it comes to bipolar behavior – we have talked about this before.

For example, violence is something that should never be tolerated. And that should be made clear – that it is one boundary that you will never allow to be crossed. Then stick to that boundary, with heavy consequences if they do cross it. The more you make boundaries and consequences and stick to them, the stronger you will get. They are empowering.

Not that you are trying to become controlling over your loved one, I’m not saying that at all –

just that you need to have some empowerment. You need to get stronger, or their bipolar disorder will roll right over you.

You need to stand up for yourself – let your feelings be known. You have a right to your feelings – they are neither right or wrong. They just are. And you should be able to share them with your loved one without repercussions. Sharing them with your loved one should help you feel stronger as well. The closer the two of you feel, the stronger your battle against their bipolar disorder, because you will be working as a team.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

How are you doing? I hope today is a good day for you.

I had a discussion the other day with a friend of mine who is also a supporter of a loved one with bipolar disorder. The topic was accepting the disorder.

His point was that you have to accept the disorder and you can’t really do anything about it. My point was that you can accept the disorder without “laying down and playing dead.”

So who’s right?

Of course, I think I’m right. Especially because that’s what I try to teach people all the time – that you can “fight back.”

The point is, you don’t just have to “take it lying down.” You can do certain things to “fight back”. Like, for instance, you can take care of yourself, like making sure you get enough sleep. Not just you, but your supporter, too. A supporter who’s tired all the time isn’t going to be a very good supporter, are they? And if you’re tired all the time, you won’t be able to control your disorder as well.

Yes, bipolar disorder is a serious disorder with serious consequences. But there are so many things you can do to make it harder for the disorder to have control over you.

Besides getting the right amount of sleep, you can make sure you take your medications, as prescribed, when prescribed. And if your supporter is having to remind you all the time to take your medication, you aren’t controlling your disorder very well.

You can make sure you go to all your appointments and be a participant in them. Don’t just pretend you’re listening, either, if there’s something you don’t get. If you have questions, ask them. Your doctor isn’t a mindreader! If you don’t speak up, he’ll just assume you understand what he’s saying.

So it’s your responsibility to ask questions if you don’t understand something. And this is where your supporter can help. If they don’t understand something, then maybe you don’t understand it, either. It helps to have that second opinion.

It’s a good idea to go to your appointments with a list in hand of what you want the doctor to go over with you. It saves time, because then the doctor knows exactly what you want from him. Doctors like this. It’s kind of a “To-Do” List for the doctor, and he knows what you’re concerned about. Then he can go down the list and nothing is forgotten, and not a lot of time is wasted, either.

And your supporter can help make the list, and you know the saying, “Two heads are better than one.” Another reason this is good is that then some of your supporter’s concerns are addressed as well.

For example, if you have questions about medication side effects, this would be something to put on your list.

Therapy is another area where you can “fight back,” and this is a big area. Therapy helps you learn techniques that help you manage the disorder. You might even go into family therapy, where your supporter attends with you.

Or individual therapy, where you can learn stress management or other methods to manage the disorder – specific ways to fight the disorder. Again, you don’t have to “take this lying down.” Fight back! You are stronger than the disorder!

Get educated. That’s one of the most important things you can do to manage bipolar disorder. The more you know, the more empowered you are. If the disorder were an entity, it would be counting on the fact that you wouldn’t know more than “it” does.

But if you turn the tables on “it” and do know more, then you have the power to “outwit” it! You will have the knowledge it takes to overpower, manage and eventually become stable and successful with bipolar disorder.

Accepting the disorder doesn’t mean that you don’t do anything about it. To me, accepting the disorder means that you do everything that is in your power to do to make it acceptable to you. In the case of bipolar disorder, your goal is to become stable.

Because the ultimate acceptance leads to stability, and stability is the name of the game!

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews494/

Here are the news headlines:

Off to School and Off Balance? The Importance of Having a Safety Net In Place
DO> Great article, take a look.

Diffusion Pharmaceuticals Receives Patent for Drug Formulation
DO> Hmm. Do you think this will help?

Let’s Talk About Rapid Cycling
DO> Do you know what this is?

Missing/Declared Dead California Woman Possibly Alive And Living In Vegas
DO> Wow, this is great, don’t you think?

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews494/

==>Help with ALL aspects of bipolar disorder<<==

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave

=>PLEASE FORWARD TO FRIENDS, FAMILY AND LOVED ONES <=

Hi, how is your day going? I hope it’s a great one.

I was looking over past emails and responses to them, and figured out that the most common one was about being high-functioning – That the survivor wants to be high-functioning, and that their supporter wants them to be high- functioning, too.

So today I want to talk about one area associated with that, since it’s such a hot topic.

I want to talk to you about one way you can help your loved one to be high-functioning, but also how you can become high-functioning as well.

Here it is: You both need to focus on what you want, and NOT on what you DON’T

want.

Too many people focus on what they DON’T want and never focus on what they DO want, and this is a HUGE mistake. It has to do with your attitude, for sure, but it also has to do with your FOCUS. Your attitude and your FOCUS.

If you focus on what you DON’T want, you will be “spinning your wheels.” You will get nowhere. It may even make you fight with each other. You will certainly be focusing on the most negative aspects of the disorder.

But you can CHOOSE to focus yourselves on the positive side of the disorder. Here’s one way: You can make yourselves a list. On one side, put all the things you don’t want.

For instance, you don’t want to fight. Or you don’t want to go into an episode.

Then on the other side, put all the things you DO want. For example, you DO want stability, and you DO want less episodes, and you DO want to be high-functioning. So all these things would be on that side of the paper.

Well, part of being high-functioning is to be focused. You need to pick a goal, and work toward that goal. For instance, if your goal is to have less episodes, you have to de-stress your life. So you make a list of ways you can de-stress your life, and you set forth to do exactly that, checking off things as you go.

It may mean getting rid of that high car payment and just buying a used (but in good shape) car. It may mean switching jobs. It may mean working from home. It may even mean starting a home business. Whatever it takes to de-stress your life.

The main thing is that you have the POWER to change your life.

You have the ability, especially if you both work together toward a common goal, to be stable, to have less episodes, and to be high-functioning. As long as you stay focused on the goal. As long as you work together. And as long as you work toward what you want, and not what you don’t want.

In today’s economy, many people are facing financial pressure. So you can also use this method on your finances. You would make your goal list to be “lower finances.” Then you would list the things that you can do to help your finances.

For example, keep the heat down. That will save you money on your power bill. Don’t eat out as much – that will help you save money as well.

The key to being high functioning is being focused, and one of the ways to become high functioning is to set goals and achieve them.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

How’s it going for you today? I hope you’re having a good day.

Remember when you were little and you played “let’s pretend?” Maybe you even had a little trunk filled with costumes that you would dress up in… Like a ballerina… Or a super hero… Or a fireman… Or a princess… Or an actor or actress…

Some kids don’t even need costumes for their “let’s pretend” sessions… They just pretend that they’re a dog… Or a monster… Or an alien… Or even an adult! LOL

Some adults would love to pretend to be a child again… To not have to make decisions… To not have so many responsibilities… To not have so many problems… To not have to deal with so many things… To be wild and carefree again… To be unconditionally loved and taken care of…

To have all your needs met… To have toys and presents and birthday parties… You know, all the regular kid things…

But the problem is, you can’t stay a kid forever. You can’t play “let’s pretend.” You have to face up to your responsibilities as an adult.

It would be great if we could play “let’s pretend” when it comes to bipolar disorder.

Let’s pretend that bipolar disorder is not the devastating disorder that it is. Then it wouldn’t hurt us so bad. But we have to face the fact that, without fighting it, it has the power to destroy us.

Let’s pretend that, without medication, bipolar disorder can be managed. Then our loved ones wouldn’t need to take that medication every day. But we have to face the fact that it is that very medication that is keeping our loved ones stable.

Let’s pretend that our loved ones won’t ever go into another bipolar episode. Then we can believe that they’re perfectly fine without us, and we can go on living our lives just like they were before bipolar disorder invaded them. Nope. It doesn’t work that way.

The reality is that your loved one will go into another episode at some point or another, and only your being prepared for it will limit the scope of its damage to the both of you.

Your loved one is NOT perfectly fine, and playing “let’s pretend” that they are is just not going to fly in the face of reality. It’s a hard fact, I know. I had to face it with my mother. I know how hard that can be. But once you stop denying it, once you stop playing “let’s pretend,” and get down to the hard work of fighting bipolar disorder, you start learning how to manage the

disorder… You start seeing results… And then your loved one will start getting better.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

How are you today? I hope you’re having a good day.

Remember those old TV shows that had robots in them? (This was before we had the current

computer generated imaging with its perfect robots that don’t make any mistakes or anything).

I’m talking about like back when the show The Jetsons was on, if you can remember that far back, or have seen reruns on TV.

So what I’m getting at is if something went wrong with the robot, and it got “stuck,” and it would just keep repeating the same thing over and over again, like a broken record. And everyone would think it was hilarious!

Well, we know that nobody’s perfect. But we’re not robots, either. And when someone goes into a bipolar episode, they don’t just keep repeating the same phrase over and over again, now, do they? That would be ridiculous. But they CAN repeat the same bipolar behavior over and over again.

Over time, you can learn what your loved one’s episode triggers are. Triggers are situations or events that can “trip” or cause your loved one to go into a bipolar episode. Like the Jetsons robot I referred to at the beginning of this post. A sort of “glitch” that can get them caught up. A trip wire, so to speak.

Like, say, your loved one does not do well around crowds. If you take them to a family reunion or a big wedding reception, this could be a trigger for them to go into a bipolar episode. Or stress could be a trigger to an episode for your loved one, so you need to avoid situations or events that can cause stress for them.

Lack of sleep is one of the biggest triggers to a bipolar episode for people who have the disorder, so it’s especially important to maintain a good sleep schedule.

So it’s very important not only to know your loved one’s bipolar episode triggers, but to watch for them. But it’s just as important to be aware of their personal signs and symptoms of episodes.

There are general signs and symptoms of bipolar depressive and manic episodes that everyone should know, but not everyone with bipolar disorder will experience all of these signs and symptoms. So you should be aware, over time, of which ones your loved one exhibits when they are heading for an episode.

In other words, what might look like just “tired” to someone else, might signal a bipolar depression to you, since you know your loved one so well. And, knowing their pattern, you can help them do something about it before it goes on too long and gets out of control.

If they seem confused or disoriented, or their thought patterns unusual, you should know that this could be a sign of a bipolar episode for them. It might not be for someone else, but if it is for them, you should be able to jump into action and know what to do to avoid a full-blown bipolar episode for your loved one.

Sometimes, it’s normal to have a burst of energy. It’s great sometimes – it helps you to get things done. But for your loved one, it might indicate the beginning of a bipolar manic episode.

Over time, by studying their repetitive bipolar behavior, you will learn that. You will know which is episodic behavior for them and which is not.

Yes, a burst of energy may not be indicative of an episode. But in another case it might be. Only you can know the difference for your loved one because of their past repetitive behaviors.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave