Hi,

How are you?

I hope you’re doing well.

I want to tell you about a woman I read about.

This woman was so obsessed with perfection that she literally made herself sick.

The problem was, in her eyes, her body was fat.

Every time she looked in the mirror, she saw herself as fat.

Now, that didn’t make it true, it’s just the way she saw herself.

She would read magazines and want to be as thin and perfect as the models in the magazines.

She wanted a perfect body.

So she practically starved herself to get one.

There is such a thing as losing too much weight, however, and/or losing it in the wrong way.

Instead of simply eating a healthy diet and losing weight slowly like she should have, she just stopped eating almost altogether.

She did drink water, however, and lots of it.

The water only flushed out needed nutrients, though.

The next thing she knew, she was in the hospital with an almost fatal blood pressure and loss of electrolytes in her body.

She was down to 95 pounds.

But she still thought she was fat.

In the hospital, they had to give her several bags of fluids to get her blood pressure back up.

She was very weak, and very sick.

The problem was not in her body, it was in her mind.

She wanted to be perfect, and almost died in the process.

———————————————————————–

Imperfection is a fact of life.

It’s hard to accept our own imperfections, much less someone else’s.

This woman became obsessed with a perfect body.

You know I work out a lot, and I see men all the time who are trying to do the same thing.

Instead of just accepting that they aren’t Superman, they try and try to “buff up” not for healthy reasons, but for personal reasons.

Like this woman, they are unhappy with their bodies.

They think that if they just work out enough, they will have “six-pack abs” and all the rest, and then their life will be perfect.

That’s the wrong way to approach it, though.

It’s one thing to try to improve yourself.

It’s quite another thing if your motivation is to be perfect.

Sometimes it’s hard for a supporter of a loved one with bipolar disorder to accept their own limitations.

They want to be the perfect supporter.

In my courses/systems, I talk about what makes a good supporter. But never do I say that you have to be perfect at it.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

All you can do is be the best supporter you can be, and accept that you’re not going to be perfect.

No one is.

If you’re looking for the magic formula that tells you how to be the perfect supporter, you won’t find one.

But if you can accept your own imperfections, it will be easier to accept your loved one’s imperfections.

No matter how much they try or what they do, your loved one will never be the perfect bipolar survivor, either.

There’s an expression that says, “It’s ok to strive for perfection, as long as you accept that you will never arrive there.”

If you accept your loved one as they are, understanding that they are trying their best to recover, things will be much easier for you.

Just don’t expect them to be perfect.

And don’t expect yourself to be perfect, either.

Hi.

Here’s the news.

To read this week’s news visit:

http://www.borderlinecentral.com/bipolarnews449/

AstraZeneca’s Seroquel XL Wins Green Light for Bipolar Depression

DO> Kind of boring but still news 🙂

How to Boost your Brain Power

DO> Interesting article, take a look.

What is the Quality of Life of People with Bipolar Disorder?

DO> Everyone should read this very interesting article.

US Prisons: the New Asylum for the Mentally Ill

DO> Hmm. I kind of disagree. Why? Well normally they just put people on the streets. What do you think?

Bridges To Recovery: Bipolar Disorder

DO> Great article, take a look.

For these stories and more, please visit:

http://www.borderlinecentral.com/bipolarnews449/

==>Help with ALL aspects of bipolar disorder<<==

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:

http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

How’s it going?

Hope you’re ok.

A friend of mine had to go to a business meeting the other day.

Well, the day of the meeting, someone in her office was rude to her, and she became defensive.

To the point that she did not even want to go to the meeting.

She was thinking with her emotions instead of her head, and I told her so.

I said, “Make the decision to go to the meeting with your head, and let your mind direct your actions instead of letting your emotions dictate your reactions.”

She was still feeling very anxious, so I told her to “Just breathe.”

That’s it – “Just breathe.”

I’ve talked to so many people with bipolar disorder who use that method for anxiety and

stress.

It’s so simple, but it works.

Deep breathing can help you to deal with anxiety and stress.

So she listened to me, and she went to the meeting.

She did what I told her to do.

And she made things happen.

She was a success at that meeting.

I think sometimes we complicate things in our minds, and our emotions take things out of

proportion.

Then we can get nervous, feel defensive, take things wrong, etc.

In my courses/systems, I tell you to really listen to your loved one, not only to what they’re saying, but also to what they are NOT saying.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

Good communication is so very important when it comes to success.

Whether it was success for my friend, or success for you and your loved one fighting bipolar disorder together.

I was also thinking about how supporters kind of get lost in the shuffle when it comes to bipolar disorder.

I don’t think we get enough credit.

Have you ever heard the saying, “Behind every good man, there’s a good woman.”?

Well, I think it’s kind of like that.

I believe that behind every successful survivor of bipolar disorder, there’s a strong supporter helping them.

I’ve known very few people who were able to achieve stability all by themselves.

VERY few.

Bipolar supporters make things happen.

They make sure that their loved one takes their medication.

They make sure that their loved one goes to see their doctors and therapists.

They make sure the home setting is as stress-free an environment for their loved one as they can.

They are supportive and understanding.

When they see their loved one start to show symptoms of a bipolar episode, they make sure their loved one gets the help they need to avoid it.

They take care of themselves, so that they can be the best supporter they can be.

Supporters just…

MAKE THINGS HAPPEN.

As a bipolar supporter, you should never be taken for granted.

Your job is very important to your loved one’s stability.

What are some of the things you do to make things happen?

What do you do to help your loved one get closer to stability?

Hi,

How are you doing today?

I hope you’re doing good.

I was thinking about something today.

About water.

And about its three states:

4. liquid (to drink)

5. solid (ice cubes)

6. vapor (steam).

That’s about how far my physics knowledge of it goes, but it made me think of bipolar disorder.

Bipolar disorder also has three states:

4. Depression

5. Mania

6. Normal

Whether you like your water to drink or for ice cubes, you do have a preference.

Just like you and your loved one both have the bipolar preference of the normal state.

But it’s not always easy to go with what you prefer.

Sometimes you have to do things the hard way.

There is no disputing that getting stable is hard work.

You just can’t lay back and expect it to fall in your lap.

So there are certain things you do to get you there.

For you, it’s being a good supporter and a good example to your loved one.

It’s being encouraging to them and rejoicing with them during normal periods.

It’s also sticking with them through their bipolar episodes and staying by their side.

For your loved one, stability can mean having to change their lifestyle, like I talk about

in my courses/systems:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

Stability is not just going to drop in your loved one’s lap.

They have to work to get it.

But once they do, you’ll both enjoy less episodes and more normal periods.

Like the 3 states of water and the 3 states of bipolar disorder, let’s consider the 3 biggest things on the list for getting stable:

4. Medication

5. Healthy diet and exercise

6. Sleep

Let’s take medication, for example.

If given a choice, I know that your loved one would rather not have to take all that medication.

They do have a choice, but there is only one RIGHT choice.

So they have to adjust their lifestyle to accommodate having to take medication for their bipolar disorder.

Ok, now let’s look at diet and exercise.

I’m not talking some crash diet or using pills to lose weight.

I’m talking about a lifestyle change.

Eating a healthy diet.

Your loved one should eat a healthy diet so they can be as physically fit as they are trying to be mentally fit.

Same goes for exercising, only with exercising you get a bonus:

Exercising activates the endorphins in your brain and give you a kind of “high” feeling – it makes you feel better.

Now let’s talk about sleep.

Your loved one should be getting 8-9 uninterrupted hours of sleep at night.

They should also go to sleep at the same time and wake up at the same time every day.

If they lose sleep, it can be a trigger to a bipolar manic episode.

Too much sleep can indicate a bipolar depressive episode.

So good sleep habits are very important to the stability of your loved one.

Hopefully, your loved one is doing “best practices” (the 1,2,3 I just talked about).

If they are, you can look forward to some good stability.

How is your loved one doing?

Hi,

How’s it going for you?

A friend of mine uses the simplest of techniques when she feels stressed, nervous, anxious, etc.

She calls it:

JUST BREATHE

It’s just something to remind her to take a deep breath whenever she feels that way.

Sometimes it takes several JUST BREATHE breaths to calm down, especially if you are very anxious.

My friend has used this method during actual anxiety attacks, and it has worked!

The reason it works is that it helps you to focus on your breathing and takes the focus off what is stressing you out or making you so nervous and anxious.

You JUST BREATHE.

That’s it!

Just concentrate on your breathing and NOT on the problem, person, or situation.

Sometimes the simplest of techniques are the best techniques.

In my courses/systems, I go over other more extensive stress reduction and relaxation techniques that can really help you as well:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

This technique is good for both you and your loved one.

See, my friend also thinks the words, JUST BREATHE, when she is doing the actual breathing.

This would be a helpful tool for your loved one to put in their “bipolar toolbox,” because they can use it on

their racing thoughts.

Concentrating on the phrase, JUST BREATHE, over and over like a mantra, can close out all those other distracting (racing) thoughts.

It’s also good for you as the supporter, because you experience a great deal of stress at times.

You not only have your loved one’s needs to worry about, but also your family, work, and personal needs to think about as well.

Sometimes it can get overwhelming.

At those times, when you feel as if the stress is built up to bursting, try this method.

JUST BREATHE

As many times as you need to, until you feel a sense of the stress decreasing, or the nervousness and anxiety going away.

Then you will be in better shape to handle the problems confronting you.

I’m not saying that this technique will solve your problems for you.

In fact, I’m saying the opposite.

This technique will absolutely NOT solve your problems.

However, once you have applied it, your head will be more clear and you will be in a better frame of mind, and be able to face your problems that much better.

Sometimes you might be in a position with your loved one where you really need the JUST BREATHE technique.

You can use it in the old “count to 10” way.

When your loved one does something that really aggravates you, JUST BREATHE, before you answer them or take any kind of action.

Then you can be sure you’re acting from a place of caring and not a negative place.

Or, say your loved one is yelling at you.

You don’t want to fight back, because you know in the past that is a useless effort and a waste of time.

Still, you want them to stop yelling at you.

So you take a couple of JUST BREATHE breaths, and then you are better able to tell your loved one to

stop yelling at you.

In this way, you are not fighting back or giving them any reason to keep yelling at you.

Try practicing the JUST BREATHE technique.

I’d love to hear some success stories!

Hi,

Here’s the bipolar news. I have tons to do today so I need to get this out earlier.

Catch you later.

Here’s the news.

To read this week’s news visit:

http://http://www.borderlinecentral.com/bipolarnews448/

What are the Chances my Future Kids will be Bipolar

DO> What do you think of this article, question, is kind of negative don’t you think?

Discussing Bipolar with Your Friends and Family

DO> Great article and it’s important.

Parents Fight Use of New Psych Meds for Kids

DO> Where do you stand on this? I know what they are saying but there are many count arguments.

“When Someone You Love Is Bipolar” by Cynthia G. Last – Book Review

DO> Haven’t read it, but looks like a good book.

Bipolar Adults at Increased Risk for Cardiovascular Disease

DO> This is kind of old news but important, take a look.

For these stories and more, please visit:

http://http://www.borderlinecentral.com/bipolarnews448/

==>Help with ALL aspects of bipolar disorder<<==

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:

http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

How’s it going for you today?

I hope you’re having a good day.

You know, we go along our lives expecting things to go right, don’t we?

We hope for the best.

There’s an expression that says, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”

Makes sense, doesn’t it?

But what about when something does go wrong?

Like if you feel sick.

You can’t just ignore that.

So you go to the doctor to “get fixed.”

Well, some supporters think that if their loved one could just “get fixed,” life would be much easier.

And it might be.

But you can’t fix your loved one.

They aren’t broken!

They are just a person who has a mental illness.

So, call it a “broken brain,” if you want.

They are still not broken as a person.

In my courses/systems, I talk about separating your loved one from their bipolar disorder.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

It’s important that you don’t try to fix your loved one.

It’s important that you see them as a person first, and a person with bipolar disorder second.

They have the same needs as you do.

Like kindness, understanding, and support.

That’s how you can be a good supporter.

What if someone treated you like you were sick all the time?

You wouldn’t like that very much, would you?

Well, neither does your loved one.

I think they would rather be treated with respect and dignity.

They struggle with their disorder all the time.

But if you concentrate on that struggle all the time, too, you may just make things worse.

What if your loved one has a bad day?

Just a bad day.

It happens to people who don’t have bipolar disorder too.

But if you are concentrating on their disorder instead of them, you might jump to conclusions and assume that they’re going into a bipolar episode.

Or if they seem to have more energy than usual one day, or be in an “extra” happy mood.

If you’re concentrating on their disorder instead of them, you might jump to conclusions and assume that they’re going into a manic episode.

The emphasis needs to be on your loved one and not their disorder.

Your loved one doesn’t need to “be fixed.”

They just need you to be a good supporter while they are on their way to stability with their bipolar disorder.

The best way you can do that is by treating them as you would any other person.

Or how you yourself would like to be treated.

You should know your loved one’s signs and symptoms of a bipolar episode by now.

As long as they are not exhibiting them, just treat them like normal.

This will encourage them to continue striving for stability.

What do you think?

Can you separate your loved one from their bipolar disorder?

Can you treat them with dignity and respect in spite of the disorder?

Hi,

I hope you’re doing good today.

I want to share a comment that was posted on my blog recently.

Andrew says:

“It must be a dismal existence

simply to wait for the next storm

or to have forgotten or put aside

the things about a person who has

bipolar disorder – what makes

defines them as a person.

How sad, and totally unnecessary. And even sadder that some people choose to live there.

I have bipolar disorder, but I came to the doctor/therapist with a whole being, a soul, and a presence that this condition cannot/did not erase!

I refuse to be a walking cluster of symptoms, a label, an apology, a dull recording of the misfortunes I have experienced.

Bipolar disorder is a condition I have. It is not my name (i.e., I am not “a bipolar,” I am not bipolar.”) I HAVE bipolar disorder. It is nothing more than the name the psychiatric professionals chose to describe my experience of the condition.

The other wonderful effect of separating the label/condition from the person is that it holds each of us responsible for who we are and what we do. I have some good character traits and others

that are not enviable. I refuse to let bipolar disorder take any credit or blame for those things.”

————————————————-

First of all, Andrew makes an excellent point about the difference between BEING bipolar and HAVING bipolar disorder.

That’s one thing I really preach about, especially in my courses/systems, where I talk about the difference between the two:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

But let me backtrack and comment on some of the other things he said.

In the beginning of his comments, he talks about “waiting for the next storm.”

I can totally relate to that.

I used to call my mom’s episodes “the storm.”

She would yell and yell at me when she was in an episode, so bad that it was like this huge storm.

And, like this man describes, my dad and me were always waiting for the next “storm”

to explode from my mom.

That was before she became stable, of course.

But after that he says, “…or to have forgotten or put aside the things about a person who

has bipolar disorder – what makes defines them as a person.”

That’s what I wanted to talk to you about today:

Separating your loved one from their bipolar disorder.

It is SO important that you be able to do this.

Supporters who cannot separate their loved one from their disorder can end up feeling angry and

resentful toward their loved one.

Then they can feel guilt and shame for feeling those negative feelings on top of it.

They might even begin to stress out or feel anxiety over it.

Or even get depressed over it.

And all of this is unnecessary…

If they could just separate their loved one from their bipolar disorder.

Now, in no way am I saying that this is an easy thing to do. I know that it isn’t.

But I think if someone had told me what I’m telling you, and if I had done it back when I was

living with my mom, a lot of my problems could have been eliminated.

One way you can separate your loved one from their disorder is to keep in mind what they are

like when they are “normal,” or between episodes.

But let’s get back to Andrew’s comment before I go, because I really like the way he ended

his comment.

He said, “The other wonderful effect of separating the label/condition from the person is that it holds each of us responsible for who we are and what we do.”

That means that your loved one, being separate from their disorder, cannot blame the disorder for what they say/do.

They have to take responsibility for their behavior.

Have you been able to separate your loved one from their bipolar disorder?

How have you done it?

Has it made it easier for you to deal with things?

Hi,

How’s it going?

Do you remember the old fable about the tortoise and the hare?

Some say that’s where we get the expression, “Slow and steady wins the race.”

But I was thinking about the hare in that story.

He started out of the gate real quick, but then he just didn’t follow through.

So I want to ask you:

Whatever you’re doing, can you do it long-term?

Because those people who are like the hare, can’t.

Or for whatever reason, they just don’t.

Maybe they get discouraged.

Maybe they feel like it’s too hard for them.

Maybe they can’t deal with the inevitable setbacks.

Maybe their negative feelings take over.

There could be many reasons why people with bipolar disorder don’t “slow and steady win the race.”

You start out at the gate with a diagnosis of bipolar disorder.

Then you’re told you have to be on medication for it, and that you have to be on that medication for the rest of your life.

And that’s hard for some people to take.

But then they do take the medication, and it makes them feel better.

Unfortunately, some people, when they start to feel better, they “drop out of the race,” and don’t want to take their medication any more, not realizing that it’s the medication that is making

them feel so good.

And when someone with bipolar disorder goes off their medication, there is sure to be an episode as a result.

Then they’re right back to the beginning of the race.

Some people start an exercise program, and they start out quick from the shoot, but then they eventually stop exercising.

Others start a diet and do really great in the beginning but then don’t keep up with it.

Some go to all their doctors, psychiatrists, and therapist appointments all the time at first, but then drop off.

You can’t go from bad (worst) to good (great) in one leap.

Because some things take time, and being steady over that time.

And you may not see the results at first – like a diet.

But if you stick with it, you will see the results.

Bipolar disorder does mean a change in lifestyle, to be sure.

But you have to maintain that lifestyle change over a period of time in order to recover, like I talk about in my courses/systems.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

Like they say with some things, “They didn’t get this way overnight, and they’re not going to change overnight.”

The problem is that we live in a “right now” kind of society.

Fast food restaurants.

TV dinners.

Credit cards.

People are used to getting things quickly.

But stability isn’t something that can be gotten quickly.

Yes, you have to do some things that you don’t want to do.

But it’s kind of like putting something on layaway at Christmas time, then making payments on it, until you eventually get it.

You do that because whatever you’re buying is worth it to you – is worth the wait to get it.

Well, stability is like that.

Everything positive you do to get it, every “payment” you make towards recovery is worth the wait.

You just have to keep doing what works.

And you need to do it over the long haul, steadily.

Because slow and steady, in this case, really does win the race.

And don’t you think it’s worth it?

Hi,

How’s it going?

I have brought this topic up before but I want to bring it up again.

Why? Because there is so much nonsense on the internet that creates a huge problem with information and bipolar disorder.

So today I want to talk to you about something I call:

THE BIPOLAR RUMOR

The bipolar rumor is when one person hears about someone they know claiming to have heard about someone they know being cured of bipolar disorder (did you get that? I know, it sounds confusing).

Then they tell someone they know about someone they know who knows someone they know who was cured of bipolar disorder.

Then they tell someone who tells someone else who tells someone else…

Get the picture?

It reminds me of that commercial on TV awhile back for some shampoo that said , “And they’ll tell 2 people…and they’ll tell 2 people…and they’ll tell 2 people…” and on and on and on…

And all this telling people is all based upon a RUMOR to begin with!!!

In my courses, I talk about how there is no cure for bipolar disorder at this time, but that doesn’t stop some people from seeking out “alternative therapies.” I even expose some of these supposed “cures”:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

It’s important to me for you to know that there really is NOT a cure for bipolar disorder at this time. That is a sad fact, but at least there is treatment for the disorder, and management of it.

But for people to claim some miraculous cure should be illegal!

In fact, it is unethical, if not illegal, when some company tries to sell you some product that claims to cure bipolar disorder.

You need to be careful of any product that claims to be a “natural cure” for bipolar disorder, because there isn’t one!

So you should KNOW that it is bogus! It will never be able to say that it is backed by the FDA (except as a FOOD product, not as a cure).

But this is SO dangerous! I know of one woman who believed in this BIPOLAR RUMOR.

She believed in it so much that she stopped taking her medication, believing that she was CURED of bipolar disorder.

8 months later, she took a gun and killed herself.

What was worse was that she not only claimed this “cure” for herself (before she died), but she told MANY other people about it.

They, too, went off THEIR medication! And they, too, went into bipolar episodes!

Luckily, they didn’t kill themselves, because they had good supporters, and they realized they really weren’t “cured,” but just think about what could have happened to them!

There really is NO CURE for bipolar disorder at this time.

And anyone who claims that there is, is NOT telling the truth – they are only spreading a RUMOR.

A potentially deadly RUMOR.

If you have found yourself in this situation, I BEG YOU NOT TO LISTEN TO THIS RUMOR!

Please, please, DO NOT GO OFF YOUR MEDICATION, no matter what you hear!

I know, some of these claims can sound really good.

In fact, I’ve read some of them myself on the Internet.

There’s one man who claims he was able to go off his medication 5 years ago and is still stable with his bipolar disorder today.

And he is claiming that he is CURED of the disorder!

Not only that, but he is claiming that you can be cured, too!

And this is VERY dangerous.

Well, think about that.

Even if it were true that he is stable today (after ONLY 5 years), what works for (only, and I stress ONLY) one person, does not mean it’s going to work for another person.

Secondly, he is trying to sell you something.

He is trying to make money off this RUMOR!

And that is so dangerous, because if YOU go off your medications, you can die!

So please don’t listen to this deadly BIPOLAR RUMOR, and stay on your medications!

Have you ever seen these ads for natural cures for bipolar disorder?

If you’ve ever been tempted to try them, DON’T!

And even if you are, ALWAYS check with your doctor FIRST!

NEVER go off your medication without checking with your doctor.