Bipolar Supporters Make Things Happen


How’s it going?

Hope you’re ok.

A friend of mine had to go to a business meeting the other day.

Well, the day of the meeting, someone in her office was rude to her, and she became defensive.

To the point that she did not even want to go to the meeting.

She was thinking with her emotions instead of her head, and I told her so.

I said, “Make the decision to go to the meeting with your head, and let your mind direct your actions instead of letting your emotions dictate your reactions.”

She was still feeling very anxious, so I told her to “Just breathe.”

That’s it – “Just breathe.”

I’ve talked to so many people with bipolar disorder who use that method for anxiety and


It’s so simple, but it works.

Deep breathing can help you to deal with anxiety and stress.

So she listened to me, and she went to the meeting.

She did what I told her to do.

And she made things happen.

She was a success at that meeting.

I think sometimes we complicate things in our minds, and our emotions take things out of


Then we can get nervous, feel defensive, take things wrong, etc.

In my courses/systems, I tell you to really listen to your loved one, not only to what they’re saying, but also to what they are NOT saying.







Good communication is so very important when it comes to success.

Whether it was success for my friend, or success for you and your loved one fighting bipolar disorder together.

I was also thinking about how supporters kind of get lost in the shuffle when it comes to bipolar disorder.

I don’t think we get enough credit.

Have you ever heard the saying, “Behind every good man, there’s a good woman.”?

Well, I think it’s kind of like that.

I believe that behind every successful survivor of bipolar disorder, there’s a strong supporter helping them.

I’ve known very few people who were able to achieve stability all by themselves.

VERY few.

Bipolar supporters make things happen.

They make sure that their loved one takes their medication.

They make sure that their loved one goes to see their doctors and therapists.

They make sure the home setting is as stress-free an environment for their loved one as they can.

They are supportive and understanding.

When they see their loved one start to show symptoms of a bipolar episode, they make sure their loved one gets the help they need to avoid it.

They take care of themselves, so that they can be the best supporter they can be.

Supporters just…


As a bipolar supporter, you should never be taken for granted.

Your job is very important to your loved one’s stability.

What are some of the things you do to make things happen?

What do you do to help your loved one get closer to stability?

  1. I believe that being a supporter is a VERY stressful job. Most bioplar’s don’t understand, since everyday we (supporters’) go out of our way to make life easy and strees free to avoid agruements or any misunderstanding w/ eachother. Every little bit counts.

    See thanks to your support by these emails i can kinda relate my situation w/ others, but like they say every situation is different, so supporters take it in differently!

    I would really like more info on office’s I can go tofor help…… THANKS

  2. I just need to know,is there is anything a supporter is suppose to do after a person who is bipolar has made a decision to do nothing to become functional. After ripping the hearts out of so many, so many times, overdosing twice in the past 5 months, and finally leaving without warning, and leaving no word for the past 2 weeks, does there reach a point that you just have to let go, as much as it hurt? The pain is deep, but the pain is deep when she is here as well. It is tearing the children up. How does one let go? If anyone has anything helpful, please share!

  3. Do you know how much you have helped me with your website? Your comments kept me going as a bi-polar supporter for a long time. I wished I felt like I could continue with it. I saw the very steps you described in the example of bipolar like water – depression, mania, and normal (which I don’t think has been reached). It had been so long from an bipolar eposide I what was going on. I sawn the depression stage but I totally missed what was going on in mania stage until it got out of control. We agreed not to see each for a two week span. I truly don’t know what is going on: he said that he wanted a relationship but he needed to get himself together. He had been relying on myself for finiancial support for a long while. He finally got SSI which he wanted to get things done that he could feel like he was in control of it again. I can understand that he needed to be his own person, but he won’t email, listen to messages, or speak on the phone which I have seen one time this happen. I tried to make it easy either tell me to hang in there, stay in there or head in a different direction. He never has reponded. A friend who helped me realized his condition says “He doesn’t want the relationship any more and he is breaking up with you.” For me, I am not sure that he can’t have a relationship/doesn’t want a relationship, or he still in this time frame of want to get himself pulled together, but he won’t communicate with me. It has been very stressful to trust in what was said two weeks ago or move on. Again thank you what you have done in the last few years.

  4. what I do to make things happen :
    Is first of all I don’t give up: even when it looks impossible even if there are a bunch of doctors facing off or my family in my face( I say to myself they all have to put their trousers on one leg at a time just like me)
    I know I have to keep fit and healthy so Ive quit smoking and I walk every day to pick up my grandson 2kms down the road.Mind you at first I moaned softly to myself all the way there and moaned softly to myself all the way home.Now after 2 weeks it doesn’t seem so far and I do believe Ive kicked the smoking habit in the butt.Its quite nice to know I smell nice ( as apposed to smelling like a cigarette butt).My daughter smokes( she has been 5 months stable) she struggles with her weight holding down her job and living at home.And I say to her “ya can only eat an elephant one
    bite at a time so deal with the most important issue first”. SO keeping stable is her main focus never mind the smoking as long as she does it outside( which she does) and away from her sons( which she does) I think me giving up helps role model the benefits, for Rachel and in her own time she will give up too.I so believe that- just like I have absolute belief in my daughter maintaining her stability for herself.

  5. “Behind every good man is a good woman.” If only my loved one could see that. Also, behind every troubled man is a troublemaking woman. My man has chosen trouble over love right now and there is nothing I can do for him. He may have to learn the hard way. There was a time when he said I was the best that happened to him and his psych agreed with that. He (the psych) told me I was a very good supporter. Now he doesn’t want me as a girlfriend but is afraid to lose me as a friend, so in a way he is still holding on to something. My loving, sexy, funny, intelligent, talented man has become a puppet of his ex, who is the most manipulative control freak I’ve ever known. Apparently they are not having sex (he has no energy) and from what he says he doesn’t even like her, but they spend a great lot of time together. He is either drained and tired or stressed and irritable and it breaks my heart to see him being dragged into an abyss by that woman. I have given up (at least for now) trying to talk sense into him, as he ignores everything anyway. Do people with bipolar have to be in an episode or do they make bad choices anytime? As far as I know he’s still taking his meds, but his current unhealthy lifestyle could easily lead him into an episode. He drinks nearly every night, sometimes starts in the afternoon. He thinks because he doesn’t get drunk it’s ok, but he well knows he shouldn’t be drinking all that with his bipolar meds. All I can do is pray for him to see sense before he gets worse.

  6. Dave, What happens when YOU YOURSELF are YOUR OWN SUPPORTER? I was diagnosed with Bipolar 1,4 years ago and my Husband HAS NO CLUE! My husband belittles me so
    he makes me feel like I’m just SO Stupid! But yet I sure can Cook,Bake Keep a Clean House,”Jump into bed”
    Whenever the urge hits him! I’m HIS personal servant But he thinks HE dosn’t have to do anything If he dosn’t want to!I have No right to express my feelings
    or to even have any! HE just ignores me and either laughs or just walks away to his So called shop. Once
    when we were discussing my illness,He made the remark
    “MY FAMILY ISN’T lIKE THAT” It couldn’t have hurt worse
    had he slapped me!I’m NOT his wife, I feel more like I’m his Juveinal Delinquint Child!

  7. It’s ok if your friends and family help you and subport you.mine don’t. they think they will catch it,so they leave me alone.So I’m 40 years old and found out that i have bipolar, 7 months ago.I’m learning to acceptthat it’s part of me now.

  8. Dear David i just want you to know that James my husband that is Bi[polar and i am for sure getting a divorce now because i had a protection order on him for theating me and he came were i was hit me i am so don e with him and this so called Bi-polar dieorder all the lies cheating and now he has hit me he is in jail right now i when i go for the hearing i want them to put him in the hospital and get him on the right meds and he needs a payee he doesnt pay his bills and hasnt taking his meds in 6months or longer and lied to the judge. he really needs help Now i have 2 protection orders on him one is civil and the other domestic volice order on him i hope they keep him in a hospital for 6months because if they dont he will go to jail for a long time i am done with him all i ever did for him is love him and help him now i hate the site of him he is very cruel and mean i have a heart condition and a pace maker and almost died but he didnt care about that when he hit me and you think thats ok i dont. I just want justices done people with bi=polar cant just do what they want and get away with it. and thats what happens nothing gets done you should think about the vitam what about them and their needs and help thats it talk to you later Della

  9. Hi Shar, Hang in there,because usually once they are stable and if you can keep them stable you should be able to live like any other lovoing couple. I go through it everytime my partner relapses. She hates me with apassion, and blames me for having her sectioned in hospital, even all I do is call our homehelp when she is to the point of no return, and the homehelp calls the dr’s and then they decide if she needs hospitalization. (This is when it’s full blown not mini episodes). She’s always ill for 2 months, and throughout those 2 months she hates me, she wont see, me speak to me and tells all the dr’s/nurses not to tell me anything about her treatment. I have to go 2 months without any contact, or knowing what treatment she has and it’s hell on earth I can tell you. It always leaves me close to nervous breakedown and my family and friends are always worried about the state i am in and say ‘why dont you just leave her, she doesnt want you, tells everyone she hates you and doeasnt love you’ why do you stick with her. But when she is in her right mind, and herself, we are loving and everything is great between us. But even now, as she is in hosptal now for 7 weeks and I worked out she has another week to go until she’s back to being my baby girl, I have lost confidence, i think she really is going to leave me this time. But I have another week to go and I will tell you then if we’re ok. But that’s my experience, you have to hang in there and have hope.

  10. My partner has had a lot of stress, after the breakup of her marriage which she left him for me. We’ve been together 6 years but it wasnt until 3 years later we were able to be together. I was married and she was and it took a lot of pain and anguish to be together. Then we were, and we started a buisness together which is successful, but with the pressures of the buisness, her split, her dad died last march, her house got reprocessed and debts with her ex because he refused to pay anything off, including help with the mortgage, everything went bang. And also trouble from her kids, it was all to much. Yet i am the one who suffers, nobody else. Now she hates me and wont see me to talk but tonight rang me for some money. I said you talk to me and i’ll bring her some and she said write it in a letter my kids are coming. I said i come after her kids and she wouldnt let me so I didnt take her the money. She wants contact when she wants something but doesnt care the pain she is causing me when she says she doesnt love me and doesnt want to see me. Its hard when they wont let you support them, and she has cut off her own nose to spite her face, because I would have been able to make her stay much more comfortable by taking things up to her if she had allowed me to visit. Yet in the first few weeks we would walk the grounds and she even picked me a flower. But she changed when they made her a section 3. She blames me for putting her there by calling the dr’s. I argued with her that she should be letting them tell me about her treatment etc. It’s hell and nothing makes sense. She wants to leave me, our home, our business, our life for a council flat and benefits, she loves me and our business and our life, it just doesnt make sense. But one week to go before she’s well and back in her right mind, and I’m hoping everything will be ok.

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