Hi,
How’s it going today?
What’s going on? Hope you are doing well. I have a ton of things I have to do today so I have to get going.
Oh, someone asked me about the new position I am going to be hiring for. I will post it in a few weeks.
Oh, someone asked about when I will be coming out with the information on disability and bipolar disorder. Probably not until February 2008.
Okay, so I got this email that I wanted to share with you:
“Dave, I’ve been getting your emails for a while now, and I usually like them, but lately I just don’t think they apply to my situation. My wife has just gone crazy. I thought she was taking her medication, but maybe she wasn’t. She maxed out our credit cards, cleaned out our checking account, and remortgaged the house without me even knowing about it. I don’t know what to do. But I don’t even think that’s the worst of it. Dave, we’ve been married for 30 years, we’ve raised 3 children, and I thought we had a good life. I have never, not once, cheated on her. And I know she hasn’t cheated on me before. But now I know she has. It would be too embarrassing to tell you how I know, but believe me, I know. Now what do I do? Is this the last straw? Should I divorce her? I don’t think I could ever forgive her. This is what a manic episode can do to a marriage. Why don’t you ever talk about that?”
—————————————————————–
Well, first of all, I’m not a lawyer, marriage counselor, or any other kind of professional, so I can’t give any kind of advice like that.
But I can tell you that this isn’t the first email I’ve gotten like this.
So let me point out a few things.
There was a key phrase that just stood out like a neon sign to me at the beginning of this man’s email:
“I thought she was taking her medication, but maybe she wasn’t.”
When someone with bipolar disorder goes off their medication, they may not go into an episode right away, but it is pretty much inevitable that they will eventually go into one.
This is evident by the rest of what this man said in his email.
In my courses/systems, I discuss the signs/symptoms of bipolar episodes:
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
The signs/symptoms of a bipolar manic episode are evident from this man’s email, as he describes his wife’s behavior.
One of the main symptoms of a manic episode is excessive spending.
He says, “She maxed out our credit cards, cleaned out our checking account, and remortgage the house without me even knowing about it.”
When someone with bipolar disorder is not on their medication, they are not stable.
Someone who is normally very responsible with money, could very well show this type of behavior.
Another sign/symptom of a bipolar manic episode is impulsivity.
This can be manifested in bad choices, poor decision making, and risk-taking behavior.
Examples of this include:
· Gambling
· Driving recklessly
· Substance abuse
· Sexual promiscuity
Unfortunately, there may be consequences to these bad choices, poor decisions, and risk-taking behaviors, even though many times, the person may not even remember what happened during the episode.
For example, someone in a manic episode may get drunk, drive recklessly, and end up getting arrested for a DUI… yet later on, have no idea how they got there or what they did.
There have been several cases of women with
bipolar disorder who have been model wives while on their medication but when they’ve gone off their medication, have shown sexual risk-taking behavior such as having affairs with strange men – yet afterward have had no recollection of doing anything wrong.
In these cases, the only evidence of the affair has been a sexually transmitted disease that they’ve passed on to their husband.
(I’m not showing prejudice here — the same thing has also been true of men.) As I said in the beginning of this post, I’m not a doctor, marriage counselor, or other professional, so I can’t give this man any advice like he’s asking for. I can’t tell him whether to get a divorce or not.
What I can say is that this woman shows all the earmarks of being in a bipolar manic episode which will NOT go away on its own.
She needs help.
If this is a case of her going off her medication, then she needs to go back on it right away (under a doctor’s care).
The issues brought up by this email are some of the issues that supporters and their loved ones face after a bipolar episode.
Counseling (individual and group), family therapy, marriage counseling, support groups, and individual and /or couples therapy are some ways that people have tried to help deal with the consequences of a bipolar episode.
In the end, it boils down to communication between the supporter and their loved one and how they decide to handle the behavior and its consequences.
Whatever you do, however, the most important thing is that your loved one’s bipolar disorder MUST be managed;
which means that their medication must first be brought under control.
They must stick to their treatment plan for any long-term stability and decrease of episodes.
FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME
Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials
David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.