Hi, how are you today? I hope this is a good day for you.

You know, there are some things we can afford to lose in life. In recovery programs, for

example, as well as in church, you can afford to lose your pride and ego. (In fact, it may happen whether you like it or not.)

You can afford to lose your car if there are too many repairs needed for it, and buy another one.

In other words, it’s not a life or death thing. At worst, you may have to get rides from people until your car is fixed, if you keep it. But still, you could afford to lose it.

You can afford to lose some of your possessions, like if you have a yard sale, or donate to Goodwill or a church or other worthy organization.

But there are some things that you can’t afford to lose. For example, you can’t afford to lose your home, or else where would you live? You can’t afford to lose your job (unless you have another one lined up), because you need that income to live off. You can’t afford to wreck your credit, although too many people with bipolar disorder do. Then it’s a mess trying to establish your credit back.

Your loved one can’t afford to lose your support. Your support is invaluable to them, as it helps them to deal with their bipolar disorder. Your loved one can’t afford to lose their commitment to take their medication. If they lose that commitment, it could lead to going into a bipolar episode, or worse, it could take their life! So they definitely cannot afford to stop taking their medication.

They can’t afford to lose their doctor, psychiatrist, therapist and any other member of their treatment team, either. Because these people help them as much as you do. Your loved one cannot afford to lose sleep, either. Because loss of sleep is one of the biggest triggers to a bipolar episode.

And what about you? You can’t afford to NOT take care of yourself, because your loved one and family need you. You can’t afford to lose your self-esteem and self-respect. These are very important to anyone to have, whether they are dealing with bipolar disorder or not. Your self-esteem and self-respect are how you feel about yourself. And you need to feel good about yourself.

Some supporters suffer in this area, because they believe that their support is directly related to

their loved one’s bipolar disorder. In other words, if their loved one isn’t doing well, or goes into an episode, they blame themselves. They think negatively. They believe that since their loved one isn’t doing well, that it means that they’re not a good supporter. But that isn’t true.

The struggle for bipolar stability falls outside your responsibility as a supporter. You can be the best supporter in the world, and your loved one will still go into episodes.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

How’s it going?

Merry Christmas if you celebrate. Have a great day.

I have to get going to go over to my mom and dad’s house.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews462/

Here are the news headlines:

Tele-psychiatrist makes House Calls
DO> What do you think of this?

Depression Support Group Gives Hope Over Holidays
DO> This is so very true

New Study Links…Type of Omega-3 to Better Nervous -System Function
DO> Some say this is great for bipolar disorder.

What Is a Manic Episode?
DO> You all should know this, from my material.

Down for the Holidays, You are not Alone
DO> Sad but true topic.

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews462/

==>Help with ALL aspects of bipolar disorder<<==

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi, I hope you’re doing ok today.

I was talking to this woman the other day, and she was sharing with me about how she had just

gotten some bad news. She didn’t seem very upset, though, so I asked her what happened. She told me that she had just found out that she has kidney disease.

I thought, wow, that’s pretty bad news. But again, I noticed that she didn’t seem to be taking it that hard. The more I talked to her, the more upbeat I felt, which was really strange. I mean, she gets this terrible news, but she is so upbeat that it kind of like rubs off on me! I swear, this was the most positive woman I’ve ever talked to. And talking to her put me in a positive frame of mind.

When I asked her how come she could have such a positive attitude, she told me.

1. What she has was caught pretty early

2. It’s treatable

3. It’s not fatal

4. She can still do her normal things

5. She can still do her job

Now, here’s the opposite of her. There’s this person at one of the support groups I go to who complains about everything. But she’s not sick, and her husband isn’t either (physically, I mean). They live in a nice house, drive a nice car, and basically have a pretty good life. Except that her husband has bipolar disorder.

But like the woman who shared with me that she had kidney disease, this woman’s husband is not going to get worse (as long as he does certain things). He found out pretty early that he had

bipolar disorder, so he’s in treatment for it. Bipolar disorder doesn’t have to be fatal, as long as he stays on his medications. He can still do his normal things. And he is still able to work part-time.

She should be grateful for all that, as her husband sounds like a high functioning person with bipolar disorder. Plus he’s not physically sick. She shouldn’t be complaining, she should be glad that things aren’t worse.

Like this woman with the kidney problem, she has a positive attitude, and she is looking for the good in her situation. Not like the woman in the support group, who is looking at all the bad.

Many people with bipolar disorder are much worse off than her husband. Some haven’t even been diagnosed yet, much less diagnosed early. So they’re having to still go through episodes, with lots of consequences, and they don’t even know why these things are happening to them.

Some don’t stick to their medications, and go into episodes because of that. Some people are still in denial over the fact that they have bipolar disorder to begin with. Some don’t let their supporter (or anyone else) help them. Some people fight this thing all the way, thinking they can do it all by themselves. They can’t – they need a strong support system. And they need to have a positive attitude. That’s just as much a part of your treatment as taking medication.

Whether you have bipolar disorder or are supporting someone who does, having a positive attitude will help you.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi, I hope your day is going well.

You know about my goddaughter, because I’ve talked about her before. Well, she loves to go to the zoo. A lot of kids are afraid of the lions, aren’t they? Ever see one at the zoo? Well, there’s a bipolar lesson we can learn from these lions at the zoo.

First, let’s think about lions. They look big when you look at them compared to us. They prowl around, lurking. They’re very intimidating. We’re afraid of them. We don’t know what to do about them. We’re not experienced with them. We think they can spring on us at any time.

They have this big roar that can send us running away.

BUT…

Think about this: They are in a zoo. They are behind a cage, or far enough away from us that we can’t be harmed.

OR…

Have you ever seen a lion in a circus? They can be tamed!!!

NOW…

Now think about bipolar disorder and compare it to that lion we just talked about. Think about all those things I said about it. Let’s take it one thing at a time.

First of all… The lion seems bigger than us. Bipolar disorder can seem bigger than you, too.

You can feel as if it has more control over you than you have over it. Or that it can defeat you, rather than you defeating it. Or like you can never win against such a big thing.

Bipolar disorder can seem to prowl around lurking, too, just like that lion. It’s just always there. You just can’t get away from it. Then, just like the lion, bipolar disorder can be very intimidating to some people, especially when they’re first diagnosed. You might feel overwhelmed by it, even after you’ve had it for awhile.

Sometimes stressful situations can bring on this feeling, too. You might feel as if it is harder than you can handle. And, like being afraid of the lion’s roar, you might be afraid of your bipolar disorder. You might be afraid of what it can do to you. You might be afraid of what you do during bipolar episodes. You might be afraid of what you’re doing to your supporter.

We’re not experienced with lions, like you might not feel like you’re experienced with bipolar disorder, especially in the beginning, but knowledge is the key to that. Learn all you can about bipolar disorder.

Like fearing that lions can spring at any time, you might fear that a bipolar episode can spring up at any time. But remember, that if you do what it takes to be stable, you can control this.

We fear a lion’s big roar that can send us running away. But in spite of bipolar disorder’s big roar, like the lion, IT CAN BE TAMED! You can learn to manage bipolar disorder. If you do the things you need to do to be stable, there is no reason you can’t keep your bipolar disorder in that cage that keeps it under control.

You DON’T have to be afraid of your bipolar disorder!

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

Here’s the news on time this week.

Anyway, to read this week’s news visit:

http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews460/

Here are the news headlines:

What Not to Buy for Someone with Bipolar Disorder
DO> Hmm. Interesting article don’t you think?

Suicide Risk and Lethality of Attempts Linked to Low Levels of MHPG
DO> Complicated article for technical people

Health Care and Bipolar Disorder
DO> What do you think of this?

The Hidden Business Cost of Mental Illness
DO> This is so true, don’t you think?

South Coast Clinical Trials Launches Initiative to Find Treatments for Bipolar
DO> Hopefully advances are made

For these stories and more, please visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews460/

==>Help with ALL aspects of bipolar disorder<<==

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting: http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

If you have a loved one with bipolar disorder who is lying constantly and manipulating then I have great news for you. I have a new resource you have to check out.

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/specialoffer/dealwithlying/

Dave

Hi, how are you today? I hope you are doing fine.

Are you familiar with President Obama’s Jobs Program? Well, there is a lesson to be learned from it that has to do with bipolar disorder.

If you live in the United States, you hear all the time that the United States government has to create jobs. So, some people are waiting for Obama to create jobs. But in the meantime, they stay unemployed, and who suffers? Not just them, but their family as well.

How about people who create their own jobs? I have several people who work for me that needed to work and found all sorts of jobs to work at.

For example, one person who works for me sent a letter to me detailing what she could do for me. She offered to work for 30 days for free. She was sneaky, because guess what?

She did such a good job that I hired her! See how creative she was? She didn’t just wait for the

government to make up some jobs. She was proactive and made herself a job.

People said she could not get a job because of her bipolar disorder, but she did it anyway. Why?

Because she couldn’t afford to wait for someone to give her a job. She was proactive.

But here’s the lesson that has to do with bipolar disorder: With bipolar disorder you have to be proactive, too. You have to take action.

You have to get your own medical and mental health professionals (doctor, psychiatrist, and/or therapist). They are not going to come to you, just like a job won’t come to you.

You have to take action in managing your own or your loved one’s bipolar disorder. There are things that you can do every day to improve your situation.

Say you or your loved one is depressed. You can’t just sit around waiting for them to just come out of that depression. You have to take action.

Some things you could do would be:

1. Encourage them

2. Be supportive

3. Be understanding

4. Don’t enable them

5. Give them a To-Do List

6. Offer to help them

7. Talk about what’s bothering them

8. Give them space

9. Have them write everything down in a journal

10. Have them keep a mood chart or diary

11. Make sure they are taking their medication

12. Encourage them to call their doctor

When they’re depressed, they may not even want to eat. You can even help your loved one by cooking healthy meals.

There’s lots for you to do instead of sitting around hoping for your loved one’s bipolar disorder to

get better.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi, how’s it going? I’ve been thinking about something, and wanted to share my thoughts with you. It’s about what happens when you try to accomplish too much too fast. Or expect things to happen too soon.

Think about it. When you try to accomplish too much too fast, you are just setting yourself up

for failure, because you’ll never be able to do it. When you try to accomplish too much too fast, it can lead to discouragement for you when it doesn’t turn out how you expect it to. Also, if you don’t know how long something should take, you can start to think it’s taking too long.

For example, after an episode. The “too much too fast” idea can be applied to coming out of an episode, if you’re not careful. You and your loved one might expect that recovery will happen just like that! But it could take up to a year to fully “fix” the after effects of an episode. Like the financial ruin – you can’t fix a bankruptcy in just two weeks!

But some people think you can just do it overnight! We don’t rush the stroke victim or even the cancer victim, why do we rush the victim of bipolar disorder? Thinking that they should be over

an episode after just a week or two is just plain unrealistic expectations. Would we have that same expectation if they were getting over a physical illness? Then why are we expecting it from a bipolar episode?

There are some things in life that take a certain amount of time to happen. It’s just the way it has

to be. Think about things in nature. Like the butterfly – it starts off as a caterpillar…then it goes into a cocoon… and only after a certain period of time does it emerge as that beautiful butterfly!

It just doesn’t happen overnight.

It takes time. A process has to happen. And if you interrupt that process at any point in the chain of events, the whole thing would be ruined! Some things just can’t be rushed. Other things just have to take place in a certain order. And still other things have to take place at a certain time.

Wanting your loved one who has bipolar disorder to get over their episode overnight is like wanting them to be that beautiful butterfly without going through the cocoon phase!

Let’s look at it this way:

When your loved one is first diagnosed and taking their first baby steps into the world of bipolar disorder, let’s call that the “caterpillar stage.” There are certain things that have to happen during that stage, or they cannot move on.

For example, they have to learn to take their medications, every day and religiously. They have to learn to go to their doctor, psychiatrist, and therapist, and how important that is. They need to get used to a new lifestyle. Then they can move onto the cocoon stage, where they practice everything they’ve learned, so that in this stage they learn to control their bipolar disorder (and not the other way around). They can now manage their bipolar disorder, so that…

When the time is right for them to emerge from their “cocoon,”…

They can become that beautiful butterfly and enjoy a stable and happy life!

But do you see how you cannot skip any of those stages? Each one is necessary. It may be hard to be patient during this process, but remember that

beautiful butterfly.

Some things are worth waiting for!

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi, how are you today? I hope you’re doing ok.

Recently, I wrote a post on the 10/2 Equation and got many varied responses. Some people thought I was being negative myself, but I assure you I didn’t mean to be. Some people accused me of being judgmental, which I definitely didn’t mean to be.

When I write these daily emails, they’re not just to inform and teach you, but also meant to encourage you. I hope I do that.

Here’s a response from Linda to that post:

“I would like to thank you for your deep
reflection on negative versus positive when it
comes to disappointment in our lives. The point
I got from you post is that no matter how much we
may want to help or advise someone who is focused
on the negative and complaining abouteverything, it
is nearly impossible to do so because their negativity
does not leave any opening to see the experience in a
different manner.

An example would be to see something we don’t
like as something positive (although it can be difficult)
like a learning experience or motivation to learn more,
do more, listen more, be quiet more…I could go on
and on and I’m sure others have things that could be
added.

Almost anything that can be viewed negatively
can also be viewed in a positive way if one exerts
a little more effort. I say this because I have found
that being negative is so much easier…one does not
have to be as creative but it well worth the time and
effort put forth.

The most important thing in all this (and is
what I heard you saying) is that being positive
get solved or if not solved entirely they can be
made easier to cope with.”

Linda expresses exactly what I was trying to get across. Anyone can be negative, especially when faced with something as negative as bipolar disorder. It’s that much more difficult to be positive in the face of that.

My biggest concern for you as a supporter is that negativity can bring you down. And that won’t do any good for your loved one or for you.

She said, “Almost anything that can be viewed negatively can also be viewed in a positive way

if one exerts a little more effort.” I totally agree with that.

Many people are so negative that it colors the way they see everything. Now, I’m not saying everyone, but some people use it as an excuse for not trying harder.

In my opinion, having a positive attitude is just as important as medication and the other parts of treatment.

But for the supporter, having a positive attitude can make a very big difference. We fight a lot of stigma coming from the outside world just having a loved one with bipolar disorder. A negative attitude will just make it that much worse, and can really get you down.

I’m not saying that everything is a breeze when you’re a supporter of a loved one with bipolar disorder, because I know it isn’t. And I’m also not saying that being positive is going to solve all your problems – just that it can make it easier to see the solution. And sometimes it does all get to you, and you can’t be positive.

So I’m not saying you have to be positive all the time, in spite of the bipolar disorder – just that the more positive you can be, the easier it will be on you, as well as on your loved one.

I know you’re experiencing other feelings too (some pretty negative ones), and that’s ok. You still have to be realistic.

Linda also said: “The point I got from your post is that no matter how much we may want to help or advise someone who is focused on the negative and complaining about everything, it is nearly impossible to do so because their negativity does not leave any opening to see the experience in a different manner.”

You or your loved one can get too focused on the negative, and unable to see stability as something positive in their future, because as Linda said, “their negativity does not leave any opening to see the experience in a different manner.”

I know it may not seem fair that you be the positive one, but even if your loved one isn’t, you, at least, can see the experience in a different manner. The more positive you are, especially in light

of disappointments (which are unavoidable), the better you will be able to handle things.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi, How’s it going? I hope you’re having a good day.

Have you been out in the stores lately? I can’t believe how, even in this economy, people are flooding the stores to buy Christmas presents! But it’s getting crazy out there! Lines are really getting to be long, which really frustrates me when I have to wait so long just to buy one thing!

I’m sure you’ve experienced the same frustration.

Anyway, onto today’s topic: A warning for the holidays.

Speaking of shopping…Here’s how it relates to bipolar disorder:

If your loved one has had an episode in the past where they overspent or spent frivolously, then you should already have made a plan to protect your finances. So the warning is to keep your

eye on your loved one’s spending at this holiday time.

It would be too easy for them to get involved in all the excitement in the Christmas sales, the store promotions, etc. And this could very easily push them into a bipolar manic episode, which is something you do NOT want to be dealing with right now.

The only way for you to protect your finances at this time is to be proactive, and limit the amount of money which your loved one has access to. You still want them to be able to go Christmas shopping and spend some money on their own, but you can at least limit it.

Here’s what I DON’T suggest: Giving them the credit card and just telling them the limit they can spend. It would be too easy, once they had access to it, to max out your card, and you’re running a risk here. You’re better off just giving them cash, which is a finite amount of money.

When they run out, they run out.

Another suggestion is to make a list. Have your loved one make a list of everything they need to get. Figure the amount of money they will need according to that list. Having a list should help them to be self-directed and restrained, if they only get what’s on the list.

You could also use this list to determine how much money they will need (or, if they are buying

for you, ask them how much money they will need – within reason, of course). This way you won’t end up like this one couple I know.

He has bipolar disorder, and in the past has had a problem with excessive spending. He wasn’t really manic at the time that his wife gave him the debit card. He said he had just a few things to

pick up, but they were to be a surprise for her. She told him not to go over a certain amount of money (according to what they had in the bank).

Unfortunately, he got caught up in all the excitement at the store, and he spent beyond that limit, putting them into overdraft. Needless to say, his wife was rather upset when she found out how much he had spent. When she confronted him, her husband could give no reasonable explanation for why he spent over his limit.

That’s why the idea of giving your loved one cash to work with, and limiting the amount, is a good idea. Then you won’t go through what this couple went through.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave